Last night I had a dream that the scary gray thing was gone, so I came out of my secret hiding place and went upstairs to see if the dream was true.
It wasn't true. The gray thing was still there. It was sitting on the human's lap. For a moment I was frozen with fear, but Happy and Buddy didn't seem to be scared of the gray thing so I decided to just sit and look at it for a bit.
The gray thing saw me and jumped towards me! I was just about to run back to my secret hiding place, but the gray thing for some reason didn't look that scary anymore. It almost looked like a minitiature cat! Maybe Buddy was right and it was actually a kitten. I don't know where I got the courage but I decided to stay put and see what the possible kitten would do next.
Boy was that mistake. What the thing did next, believe it or not, was bite my crotch! Right where my balls used to be before I lost them at the shot lady's office.
Even Buddy, who is a real jerk sometimes, has never tried to bite my crotch area. There are rules of engagement for this type for thing. If Buddy had ever tried to bite my crotch I'd mess him up good, and since the gray kitteny thing was much smaller than Buddy I decided to mess it up good.
I swatted it real good a couple of times, and the look on its face when it realized that I have claws was priceless! It took off running to the basement. I took off after it, and since I already have all of the good hiding places mapped out I found it right away.
I swatted it several more times, and was just about to start biting it when the human came down and grabbed the gray thing out from under me! He took it back upstairs.
I went back up and the gray thing was hiding behind the human. It tried to act all brave and stuff and it even hissed at me. I gave it my best hiss back. It turned sideways, like that was going to fool me into thinking it was bigger than it was.
After a couple more hisses at the thing I kind of got bored with its theatrics and, since I knew I could defend myself against its crotch-biting very easily, I leaned in to get a better look and smell at the thing.
It did look like a cat! Just a lot smaller than even I am. The weird thing, though, was that it smelled like Happy's butt!
I figured that anything that looked sort of like a cat and smelled like my best friend Happy couldn't be all bad, so I decided to let the gray kitteny thing live.