I won't mention how terrible I looked after I gave her hat back.


Yeah, right. Like I'd really do something like that.


She was also smoldering hot, but that was just a bonus.


I would have helped her anyway. The hotness was just a bonus.


The weird thing is, she thought I was making a joke.


Another option would be to spontaneously burst into flames so you wouldn't have to answer at all.


Women are strange. That's why I get along with them so well.


Of course I didn't really say this. The whole thing just reminded me of an old Ren and Stimpy show where they had this conversation.


This guy was a total tool. He took offense that I wasn't going to let him harass me with his sales pitch.


I wish I'd really said this. What I really said was, "The real question is whether you girls can handle me." Not as funny, I don't think.


Those are red flags, in case it's not clear from the brilliant and realistic depiction. Not funny, just true.


It might have worked if I could have kept a straight face.


There's a dude at The Pub that always wears a kilt. The last part of this conversation didn't really happen because NotHideousGirl didn't think of it fast enough.


The poor guy probably won't masturbate for weeks.


Because that always happens, right? Right? Please tell me that always happens.


Spouting platitudes isn't the best way to touch my heart.


I really wasn't being mean. The guy was an obvious flamer, and he was proud of it.


BikerGirl gave me a glo-stick from the bar. I like BikerGirl.


I haven't been that tongue-tied by a pretty face in years. Maybe never. I haven't seen her since.


I don't like this one. I must have been in a bad mood, but I don't remember.