tom simpson wondered...
> On the other hand, if I replace the pro [on ESPN broadcasts],
> how could I avoid smacking Mitch?

Just begin every sentence with "That's pretty stupid, Mitch. Folks, what Mitch meant to say was..."

Or take all his catchphrases (All-important lag for the break, Beautiful Brunswick Gold Crown Four table, is really making a statement, etc.) and repeat them so often they lose all meaning. Oh wait, he already does that himself.

What I'd really like to see is, right after Mitch does his play-by-play of the guy racking the balls with the Sardo, when he says "...and there you are. A perfect rack of nine balls," I'd like to see the pro say "That's pretty stupid, Mitch. Folks, what Mitch meant to say is that while the Sardo rack certainly racks the balls well, it's killing the game of 9-ball. Notice how they've had to start racking with the nine on the spot to keep the corner balls from going in all the time. What Mitch also meant to say is that if ESPN had any balls whatsoever they'd at least acknowledge that they've done this instead of just pretending nobody will notice."