A little respect. It's what we all need, and us pool players are no different. We don't need to be the very best, though it would be nice. We don't need to be ranked the highest, as self-gratifying as that may be. We don't need to make a living from playing, though that is almost every serious player's dream.

What we need is respect. Self respect and respect from others. Self respect is the easy part. You work hard, practice diligently, put those hundreds or even thousands of hours in, and you see the improvement in your play. You accomplish something that thousands of social players never even try - you get good.

Next comes the hard part - getting others to acknowledge or even notice what you've done. Getting their respect. Respect for taking responsibility for your own game and taking it to the next level. Sometimes this respect is hard to come by. The people you started playing with, the ones that are still stuck in (and quite content in) the ball-banger mentality are often loathe to acknowledge that you've accomplished more with your game than they have. By acknowledging your success they're obliquely calling attention to their own failings.

At the other end of the spectrum are the accomplished players. They have to accept you as one of them, thus diluting their own ranks as pool's elite.

I'm happy to say that I've managed, at different times in my life, to gain the respect of beginners and accomplished players alike. Gaining the respect of even the professionals is not completely out of the question for me, should I ever manage to take my game to the next level.

Where I sit right now is what I'd call the "Damn Good Social Player" level of play. In the bars I've frequented I've usually been the best player there. At the pool hall the better players will play against me if nobody better is around. I have the respect of my peers, and that's what I think we're all playing for deep down.

If I ever manage to make the leap, to pull myself to the next plateau and beyond (damn mixed metaphors), I'll have an easier time than before because I've been through it all before. People will be more able to accept me at those levels because I've already passed through the earlier ones. In other words, my time in the minor leagues will help to prepare the way to the majors, should I decide that that's the route I want to take. Basketball players who've already made a name for themselves in college are more readily accepted than those who get drafted right out of high school. Pool is the same way, just not as formal.

I know a guy in Seattle named YouKnowWhoYouAre*, who has reached the same level of play that I occupy. For whatever reason he has seemed to have a harder time getting the respect he deserves. I've been as guilty as anyone of belittling YouKnowWhoYouAre, always in a joking manner but perhaps not completely without malice. I've known YouKnowWhoYouAre for nearly a decade, and in that time he's gone from a rank beginner to a top league player. In that same amount of time I've either been stagnant or maybe even dropped a little in ability. My banks game has improved tremendously, but 8-ball, which used to be my bread and butter, has become a real struggle for me. I can no longer walk into a bar and assume I'm the big fish in that particular little pond. In many cases I'm not. In some little ponds the big fish is YouKnowWhoYouAre, and that's a little hard for me to swallow.

But swallow it I must. My obsession with making an immediate jump to the next level, to repeat what I briefly did nearly three years ago, has stalled my game. YouKnowWhoYouAre, meanwhile, has continued his steady improvement and has managed to surpass me at times. He is the tortoise to me, the hopeful hare.

I don't have to like it, I just have to accept it. And recognize it. Give YouKnowWhoYouAre the respect he's earned. So, well done, YouKnowWhoYouAre. You've become a Damn Good Social Player. What you do next is up to you, and I'm convinced that you can go as far as you want.

Enjoy the respect you've earned. Just don't get too complacent. Because before you know it some young upstart with a nice stroke but no brains will come to you seeking respect. You'll have to decide when they've earned it.

And don't be so busy watching your back that your peers all move on without you.

Oh yeah, don't forget about me either. I'll be back looking to kick your ass just like the old days, so at least try to make it a challenge for me.

It may seem like your pond now, YouKnowWhoYouAre, but I saw it first. You're lucky I'm willing to let you swim there while I'm away.

* name changed to protect the guilty