You can always tell that Spring is coming when the ugly cat shows up outside.

Buddy says it's an "Opossum" but why would an "Opossum" - whatever that is - eat CAT food that the human puts out for the outside cat?

Huh? Why? That's what I thought.

Silly Buddy.

For the last week the outside cat has been living in the house.

One night when it got real cold I guess the human felt sorry for it, and let it in.

Now it won't leave.

Nugget is even more jittery than usual and I think even the human is regretting his admittedly nice gesture.

I've decided to try to help out by asking the outside cat to leave. Not wanting to appear rude, I'm not doing anything like hissing or scratching at the outside cat. Instead I'm using a much more sophisticated method way to get my message across.

Every time I see or hear the outside cat, I simply poop on the floor. What could be simpler? My house, my floor, my poop, get out.

Unfortunately the outside cat doesn't seem to be getting the message, and I'm also running out of poop.

As a last resort, I think I'll switch to puking up hairballs. That's not as classy as pooping, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Just when I thought it was safe to store poop on my butt again, the human has started with the whole "bath" thing all over again.

Two days in a row he's put me in the little water room and sprayed water on my behind.

Not only is this very undignified, it makes my butt cold for a few hours until the water dries off.

I should have known something was going on.

First, the vacuum lady shows up twice in three days. Then, the food lady comes and sprays water all over the floor! Finally, the human cleaned his office. That alone should have been enough to tip me off.

But it wasn't.

I'm lucky to be alive.

Tonight every human on the planet came to the human's house to try to kill me! They started showing up this evening. The food lady was the first one here, and she brought a miniature human with her. I barely had time to get to my secret hiding place before the humans just started pouring in.

There were miniature humans, wrinkly humans, humans of all shapes and sizes. They were all united with one goal - to catch and kill me!

I could tell that this human invasion was no laughing matter when Buddy and Happy came into the box room to hide with me. They never do that.

For hours the humans searched the house for me. I could hear the miniature humans especially well - they'd run up and down the stairs trying to flush me out. One time a strange lady human came in to the box room, but luckily Happy scared her off before she saw me. Happy is my hero. Later the vacuum lady came in and almost caught me!

After a long time all the humans left, probably to go to some other house to find a worse hider than me! I'm so glad I have such a good secret hiding place or I'd be a goner for sure!

This morning I got to go on a trip!

The human brought out The Cage of Adventure and since Nugget and Buddy are scared of it they ran downstairs. I like the cage so I jumped right in to check it out.

As I'd hoped, the human then picked up the cage (and me!) and put it in the car for a trip!

We went to the shot lady's house and I don't really like it there but there were other cats and a dog to look at so it was pretty cool.

The shot lady used a brush on me and that felt really good! Then she had this little pill with yummy stuff in it that she squirted in my mouth. Yummy!

Just when I was starting to think that this was going to be the best day ever the shot lady gave me a shot. But even that wasn't too bad because then she brushed me some more.

When the human brought me home I could tell that Buddy and Nugget were jealous about the yummy stuff in the pill!

Today the human put the biggest toy ever in the living room!

It's a big giant green thing with all kinds of pretty colored lights on it, and there's these balls hanging all over the place. It's really cool.

I bet I can climb to the top of it and won't that be something!

Last night it snowed outside!

When it snows the human always turns on the outside light so I can watch all the snowflakes fall onto the deck. I like to sit by the window and scare the snowflakes as they pass in front of me. They're so stupid! They don't realize that I can't even get through the glass!

Last night the human tried out a new recipe for cooking me. He didn't want to ruin me if the recipe didn't work so he tried it on a big bird.

The big bird got cooked in the oven and, God help me, it really smelled good! Then the human started cutting it up and he even gave pieces of it to us cats!

It tasted good, and I started to freak out since I figured that the recipe worked and that the human would surely cook me next. Then Buddy pointed out it was a really big bird and that it would be a couple of days at least before the human ran out of meat and came looking for me.

So I'm thankful for the big bird for giving its life so I could live another couple of days.

Maybe I'll get lucky and the human will forget the recipe.

So Friday the vacuum lady comes and does her vacuum thing. I remember that the vacuum lady used to give me food, but this "diet" thing that the human is doing to me has apparently put a stop to that. Now when the vacuum lady shows up there's nothing in it for me but terror.

Later that night the human came home with a big box. I was pretty excited about the box because, you know, it could have FOOD in it. But it didn't have food. It had a vacuum cleaner in it. Before I could even come to grips with this information the new vacuum woke up and pulled the human around the room for a while. Luckily he was able to control it and it eventually went back to sleep.

The next day the human came home with another big box, and you may not believe this but there was ANOTHER vacuum cleaner in it! It came in a lot of pieces and I thought that meant it was dead but the human put it all together and fixed it! Why would he do that?

This new vacuum cleaner woke up and pulled the human through every room in the house before he finally wrestled it into the closet!

So now there are three living vacuums in the house, plus a couple of dead ones in the box room, and those really loud ones that spray water.

It's quite an infestation we've got here.

If the human brings home another box tonight I may have to move.

Aieeeeeee!

The outside cat came inside the house today!

It was just horrible! The human came home and got a cup of food for the outside cat like always. But this time when the human tried to go to the garage to feed the outside cat she ran into the house! Just like she was in charge of the place instead of Buddy!

I went to my secret hiding place and luckily the outside cat didn't find me and kill me. I think the human managed to get her to go back to the garage, perhaps by telling her that I was hiding there.

The outside cat is so scary! She's got one regular eye but one EVIL EYE that really creeps me out. Buddy says that means that the outside cat cannot see very well but I'm scared that the EVIL EYE allows her to see through the floor and walls to my secret hiding place!

I sure hope Buddy is right or I won't be safe anywhere!