For the last week the outside cat has been living in the house.

One night when it got real cold I guess the human felt sorry for it, and let it in.

Now it won't leave.

Nugget is even more jittery than usual and I think even the human is regretting his admittedly nice gesture.

I've decided to try to help out by asking the outside cat to leave. Not wanting to appear rude, I'm not doing anything like hissing or scratching at the outside cat. Instead I'm using a much more sophisticated method way to get my message across.

Every time I see or hear the outside cat, I simply poop on the floor. What could be simpler? My house, my floor, my poop, get out.

Unfortunately the outside cat doesn't seem to be getting the message, and I'm also running out of poop.

As a last resort, I think I'll switch to puking up hairballs. That's not as classy as pooping, but desperate times call for desperate measures.