As I write this it's been over 15 hours since I last ate.

The human put some food in the bowl this morning as usual, but there's been nothing since. When the human went into the shower this evening I knew he was going to go out for the night, but I never dreamed that he'd forget to feed us before he left.

It's been two days since I've had any canned food, and, like I said, fifteen hours since I had any dry food. I know I cannot survive much longer.

I blame Happy for this. If he wasn't so damn fat the human would never have put him (us!) on a diet and there'd be food all the time.

So goodbye, birds. Goodbye, squirrels. Goodbye, ugly cat that lives outside. Goodbye to everything and everyone. And when you die, and you see me on the other side of the rainbow bridge, do not try to talk to me, as I will pretend that I don't know you.

Dear Vacuum Lady,

I live at the humans house. I'm the gray cat. I'm really sorry to bother
you, but I'm at my wit's end.

The lid is missing from the little bathroom here at the human's house. The
human likes to rub catnip powder on the lid and I like to lick the powder.
Since the lid is missing I haven't got to lick any catnip powder and I think
I'm going through withdrawals or something.

Buddy says the last time he saw the lid was just before the last time you
came to the human's house. Did you take the lid? If you did can you please
please please bring it back or tell me where you put it?

If you give the lid back please don't put poison on it first.

If you can help please bring me back the lid.

Sincerely,

Nugget J. Siltz

Whoopee! YeeHaw! Yay!

I just wish I could remember what I'm so excited about.

Well today the human decided to once again grace us with his presence. I don't know where he went for four days and I don't care. I just know that the litterbox was not cleaned every few minutes the way I require, and I showed my displeasure by going in the dining room a few times. That'll show him.

Meanwhile, Happy and Nugget are beside themselves with glee that the human came back. I don't know what the big deal is. I mean, I guess he's kind of nice to have around sometimes, but there's no need act like a bunch of wiggling puppies, for God's sake.

Today was the third day that the human has been gone, and I've got to accept that he will never be back.

The food lady, or maybe the vacuum lady, mumbled something about "wednesday" but I don't know what that meant. I think "wednesday" might mean "he's never coming back so you better start rationing your food."

When I think of the olden days when the human was here, the first thing I think of is the food. I remember that sometimes he'd give us canned food, and sometime's he'd give us dry food. It was all good.

Another thing I remember is that the human would brush me every morning before he went to "work" and every night before he went to sleep. I like the brush so much. I wonder if the vacuum lady or the food lady will brush me now that the human is gone.

Sometimes the human would make a "happy toy" out of cellophane and I'd get to play with it for a while before Buddy would take it and hide it.

Just the day before the human left he gave Buddy and me some treats from The Treat Drawer in the kitchen. He tried to give Nugget a treat but Nugget is scared of them so I got an extra one.

I will miss the human. I hope that he's happy wherever he went. I also hope that the food lady comes tomorrow to top off the food dispenser and clean the litterbox.

I don't like days like today.

First, the vacuum lady showed up. At first I thought it was the human returning from work, but instead the vacuum lady came waltzing in and started poking around all over. She acts like she's cleaning but I know she's really trying to find my secret hiding place so she can torture me!

Once the vacumm lady left and the human came home for real I thought things would settle back down to normal. But nooooooooooooo! After a while the doorbell rang! It was "the pizza guy" and even though the human kept telling me it was safe I ran and hid until I was sure this "pizza guy" had left. I just can't trust anyone walking around carrying boxes like that. I mean, what's in the boxes? Dead cats? Torture devices? I don't know and I don't want to find out.

Just wanted to let you cats know what all the ruckus in the garage was this afternoon.

As you've probably guessed, I feed Spook (that's the "outside cat" to you guys) in the garage when I get home each day. I figure you're used to that by now.

Today Spook was joined for his evening meal by "Yellow Cat" and Spook did not want the company. They got into a bit of a hissing and growling match.

While Yellow Cat won the initial battle, Spook eventually won the war by not running away at mach 5 when I stuck my head in the garage to tell them both to shut up.

Nugget, I'm sure you'll be relieved to hear that all that noise was NOT caused by a new cat-torture device I'm inventing in the garage.

Strange miniature humans!

Today some miniature humans came to the house! They ran around outside, luckily never setting foot inside. I even saw one of them chasing the outside cat around the deck! I was sure the outside cat was a goner, but the miniature human got distracted by some leaves and let the outside cat live.

Well. yes. Duh.

I know you guys think I'm weird for not eating the canned food, but I just can't help it. I keep picturing myself, chopped up and shoved into a can.

I know the human probably won't kill and eat me, but those other humans - they still give me the creeps. I can't help but imagine the horrible things they're planning for me.

When they kill me, chop me up and shove chunks of my body into a can, are you guys seriously going to wolf me down like you did the canned food you got tonight?