Well I see that my fellow felines have chosen to ignore my boycott of this journal.

What a couple of pussies.

No pun intended.

The human continues his stubborn refusal to allow me to get anywhere near any yummy birds, and this morning his ineptitude showed even more.

Our food bowl was empty from approximately 1:00 AM last night until 9:45 this morning!

How we managed to stay alive, I'll never know

Tonight the human gave me these little pellets from a pouch.

I smelled the first pellet, just to make sure it wasn't poison, and it smelled okay so I took a chance and ate it.

Yummy to my tummy!

The human got so excited that I actually ate something he'd offered me that he ended up giving me a half-dozen of the things!

And Buddy and Happy didn't get any because they were in the other room!

I am curious, though. What do you suppose Hairball Control Formula means? That's what was written on the side of the pouch.

Back a loooong time ago, I think even before Nugget graced us with his presence, the human had this big giant aquarium full of yummy-looking fish.

I never could get to the fish before, but yesterday the human brought that old aquarium in from the garage and put it on top of the dishwasher.

I hope he leaves it there and gets some fish, 'cause I can get to the top of the dishwasher!

Oooh, I can't wait to eat me some yummy fish!

The human has stopped giving us food.

I mean, he hasn't stopped FEEDING us, he just stopped giving us FOOD to eat.

What we get instead are these disgusting little pellets that look like food but aren't.

Buddy says that the little pellets are "diet" cat food and that it's because I'm so fat and because Nugget couldn't pee that one time.

I'm unfamiliar with this word "diet" but I do know what "food" is and these pellets are not food.

I want to know why Buddy always blames everything on me and Nugget. Like he's so perfect or something. At least Nugget and I know how to use the stupid litterbox.

One of my favorite things has always been when the human turns on the faucet so I can drink water.

That has all changed now. The water tastes funny. Buddy says that the new cat trap in the basement is really a water softener and that's why the water tastes different.

All I know is that I don't like it. I hope the human gets rid of the thing in the basement.

As I write this it's been over 15 hours since I last ate.

The human put some food in the bowl this morning as usual, but there's been nothing since. When the human went into the shower this evening I knew he was going to go out for the night, but I never dreamed that he'd forget to feed us before he left.

It's been two days since I've had any canned food, and, like I said, fifteen hours since I had any dry food. I know I cannot survive much longer.

I blame Happy for this. If he wasn't so damn fat the human would never have put him (us!) on a diet and there'd be food all the time.

So goodbye, birds. Goodbye, squirrels. Goodbye, ugly cat that lives outside. Goodbye to everything and everyone. And when you die, and you see me on the other side of the rainbow bridge, do not try to talk to me, as I will pretend that I don't know you.

Dear Vacuum Lady,

I live at the humans house. I'm the gray cat. I'm really sorry to bother
you, but I'm at my wit's end.

The lid is missing from the little bathroom here at the human's house. The
human likes to rub catnip powder on the lid and I like to lick the powder.
Since the lid is missing I haven't got to lick any catnip powder and I think
I'm going through withdrawals or something.

Buddy says the last time he saw the lid was just before the last time you
came to the human's house. Did you take the lid? If you did can you please
please please bring it back or tell me where you put it?

If you give the lid back please don't put poison on it first.

If you can help please bring me back the lid.

Sincerely,

Nugget J. Siltz

Well. yes. Duh.

I know you guys think I'm weird for not eating the canned food, but I just can't help it. I keep picturing myself, chopped up and shoved into a can.

I know the human probably won't kill and eat me, but those other humans - they still give me the creeps. I can't help but imagine the horrible things they're planning for me.

When they kill me, chop me up and shove chunks of my body into a can, are you guys seriously going to wolf me down like you did the canned food you got tonight?

Hooray! Tonight the human gave us CANNED cat food!

What a special treat! We got "Savory Duck with Egg" and it was as good as ever!

I couldn't help but notice, however, that Nugget was as usual scared of the canned food. He didn't eat any of it. Buddy ended up eating Nugget's portion.

I'm worried that Nugget will starve if he doesn't get over his fear of canned food.

Something is terribly wrong with the world. The food bowl in the kitchen is empty once again.

The food bowl used to never be empty. Now the human only puts a little bit of food in it twice a day. How am I (forget Buddy and Nugget) supposed to survive by only eating twice a day?

The human keeps saying the word "diet" when he looks at me. What does this "diet" word mean? I'm not familiar with it. Buddy thinks that it means that the human thinks I'm too fat, and that this "diet" thing is supposed to make me skinny.

So what if I'm a little on the big side? It's not like I've got anyone here to impress.

Sometimes after the human eats some pizza he closes the box and puts it on the floor for a while.

I love to sit on the box and smell the pizza left inside. I can never figure out how to open the box, but smelling the pizza is almost as good as eating it.

More cheese is the last thing you need.

I like cheese. And chicken too.

Banana milkshakes are my favorite thing in the whole world. I like to lick it off the human's finger.

Ow ow ow ow! Now this thing is biting MY crotch! Somebody help!!