I don't know why the human keeps butting into my business.

Every time my rear end gets even a little bit of poop caught in the matted fur he grabs me and puts me in the water!

Now I like to drink water. I like to watch water fall from the faucet, and I even like to dip my paw in water sometimes. What I do not like is to have my rear end submerged in the stuff.

To make matters worse, the human doesn't just get me all wet. He also takes a comb and scissors and starts poking at my rear end until all of the poop I was saving back there gets dislodged.

He seems to have this compulsion to keep my butt free from clinging poop. If I wanted the stuff cleaned off my butt I'd lose about 15 pounds so I could reach and clean my own butt.