One of my favorite things has always been when the human turns on the faucet so I can drink water.

That has all changed now. The water tastes funny. Buddy says that the new cat trap in the basement is really a water softener and that's why the water tastes different.

All I know is that I don't like it. I hope the human gets rid of the thing in the basement.

The last few weeks have been horrible!

Between the humans coming to catch me, and the outside cat coming into the house (and staying!) I haven't really been myself.

Today there was parade of humans here to kill me! One of them set up some kind of elaborate trap in the basement. I could here him banging away on the pipes for most of the morning.

Another one kept turning the lights off and on. He kept coming into the box room, but luckily he never found me.

And I don't even want to think about all the humans I heard talking upstairs. There must have been million of them!

I'm not big enough to feed a million humans. Can't they see that and just leave me alone?

Happy's fat. Maybe they should eat him first and then maybe they'd be too full to look for me.

You can always tell that Spring is coming when the ugly cat shows up outside.

Buddy says it's an "Opossum" but why would an "Opossum" - whatever that is - eat CAT food that the human puts out for the outside cat?

Huh? Why? That's what I thought.

Silly Buddy.

For the last week the outside cat has been living in the house.

One night when it got real cold I guess the human felt sorry for it, and let it in.

Now it won't leave.

Nugget is even more jittery than usual and I think even the human is regretting his admittedly nice gesture.

I've decided to try to help out by asking the outside cat to leave. Not wanting to appear rude, I'm not doing anything like hissing or scratching at the outside cat. Instead I'm using a much more sophisticated method way to get my message across.

Every time I see or hear the outside cat, I simply poop on the floor. What could be simpler? My house, my floor, my poop, get out.

Unfortunately the outside cat doesn't seem to be getting the message, and I'm also running out of poop.

As a last resort, I think I'll switch to puking up hairballs. That's not as classy as pooping, but desperate times call for desperate measures.