Just a quick report about Saturday.

I had a Frenchy beer and two Alaskan Smoked Porters while talking with LaptopGirl and some guy that's clearly in the early stages of infatuation with her.

LaptopGirl looked very good. I think the new job has helped her a lot. She smiles more now.

I told you it would be a quick report.

I actually went to Rich O's twice last night.

The first time was around 8:00. I had just, litterally out of the blue, lost power to my house, and so I went out earlier than is usual for me.

When I got to Rich O's I made a quick survey of the parking lot - LaptopGirl's car was not there. I went in anyway and almost immediately turned around. DisgustingMakeoutCouple had decided to put on one of their little shows on the couch.

So I came back home for a while (power was back on) and then returned to Rich O's at 10:00 PM.

There was nobody there except a couple of the professional beer drinkers. I ended up sitting at the bar where I had a Frenchy beer and an Alaskan Smoked Porter.

A pretty boring night.

For most of my life I've been fascinated by severe weather.

Ever since my father took me out storm watching when I was five years old I've looked forward to the Spring and Summer storm seasons so I could enjoy the thunder and lightning and even hope for a glimpse of a tornado.

In my 39 years of life I've never seen a tornado, but I've come pretty close a couple of times.

Thursday night may have been the closest yet. It was certainly one of the worst storms I've experienced.

My night began when I was awakened from my after-work nap by the rumblings of thunder. It's been pretty stormy here for the last couple of nights, but nothing spectacular has occurred. I turned on the TV to see what the radar looked like.

All hell was breaking loose. A tornado warning was in effect for Washington County, where my sister Neisha lives. A huge blob of red covered most of Southern Indiana and all of the local stations had interrupted their regular programming for what would turn out to be several solid hours of severe weather warnings.

I tried to call Neisha, but there was no answer. I wasn't very concerned because by that point I'd heard that the confirmed tornado had passed several miles south of where she lives. She called me back a little later, as excited about the weather as I was, and told me that they'd be leaving their mobile home to take shelter at a neighbor's house if things got bad again.

I moved to my basement to play some pool and keep an eye and ear on the weather reports. For a while, though I heard lots of rumbling, the radar showed everything to be staying to the north of Floyd County.

All of that changed pretty rapidly though. A new red blob formed in Washington County, and this one was moving to the Southeast, towards Floyd. I called my other sister Dina, who lives in the Northwest corner of Floyd County, to make sure she was aware of the situation. They were keeping an eye on things as well. Dina told me that my grandmother was "freaked out" and that I should be sure to check on her. While I was talking with Dina the hail started hitting her house. I had a few minutes before the edge of the storm would make it to my location so I told Dina I was going out to watch and hung up.

Just as I hung up the weatherman said they'd just had an unconfirmed report of a tornado touching down in Georgetown Indiana. This was interesting to me for a couple of reasons. First, the red blob was still many minutes away from Georgetown, and second, it's where I live. Specifically I live about five miles directly East of that town.

Being the dumbass that I am, I ran upstairs and out my front door to see what I could see. I've always figured that if I'm going to be killed by a tornado I at least want to see the damn thing first.

Anyway, I was standing in the little stone alcove surrounding my front door and wishing that I had a better view to the West. From what I COULD see it looked like a regular storm - the clouds weren't even very scary looking.

The trees were swaying and the thunder was rumbling. I then noticed that the approximately 874,354,468,462 cicadas that had invaded my area lately had gone silent.

That was my first sign that something unusual was going on.

The second sign was this: Every single leaf and twig and branch that was laying in my yard, courtesy of the storms of the previous night, suddenly picked up and flew off to the south. I barely had time to ponder this development when every single one of them came back and dropped onto the ground again.

This Triumphant Return Of The Twigs was accompanied by the strongest winds I've seen in a very long time. I still cannot believe I didn't lose any trees, or that my new roof didn't lose any shingles.

At about this time I had a fairly startling realization. The "thunder rumbling" I'd been hearing was not thunder at all. It was far too steady a sound for that. What I was hearing was the locomotive sound you always hear associated with tornadoes. It hadn't clicked in my mind earlier because it was much softer than I would have expected.

Upon making this leap of logic I became scared of the weather for only the second time in my adult life. Still being a dumbass, however, I did not run back into my basement, stick my thumb in my mouth, and sit rocking back and forth in a corner. Instead I stepped out of my semi-protective alcove and looked to the South - where all the rumbling was coming from.

While the clouds to the west had seemed fairly tame the view to the South revealed a completely different story. It looked as if some painter had gone insane and slung gray and green and black paint across the sky in some fit of artistic rage.

There could have been a tornado hidden in that jumble of clouds. Hell there could have been ten of the things and I wouldn't be surprised at all. Actually a tornado might have been a welcomed sight - it would have helped to infuse some sense into that sky.

By the time this leading edge of the storm had passed things actually calmed down pretty quickly. Very hard rain, strong wind gusts, flickering lights. These things are common during the Spring and Summer.

For some reason I still had power, so I talked to Dina again on the phone. Neisha's phone went unanswered but she'd already told me they were going to a neighbor's house.

I called my grandmother who, as I suspected, was not "freaking out" at all, but was instead relying on her telephone to keep her informed of the weather situation because her power was out.

Based on what I'd seen outside, along with what I'd been hearing on the television, I was now convinced that a tornado had passed just to the south of me. I hopped into my truck and went out to survey the destruction. I also grabbed some candles to deliver my grandmother.

I didn't really see any major damage during my brief expedition. It was just too dark. My street was the only one I saw that still had power. All traffic lights were out. All street lights were out. Everything was dark except for the lightning and the headlights of other cars.

I never did make it to my grandmother's house. I tried four different routes and all were blocked - two by fallen trees, one by a downed power line, and one by a car that had gone into a ditch and then been t-boned by a truck.

At this last scene I called my grandmother again and told her my situation. She was fine. A neighbor had checked on her and she had candles. I also called Dina and let her know I'd be on my cell phone for a while if she needed to contact me.

Once I and several others helped to clear the accident I moved down Yenowine lane further. I was less than a mile from my grandmother's house and I saw that I would get no further. The roadway had become a river, and even in my truck I wasn't going to try to cross that thing.

Still wanting to assess the situation I made my way through the dark and debris-littered streets to my cousin Jeff's house. Actually I made it as far as his driveway and that's it. One and perhaps several large trees were laying across the drive. I parked at his neighbor's house and made my way across the muck to his house. He was fine as well, just pissed about the fallen trees that he'd have to deal with in the morning.

So I went back home. I still had power. I played some more pool and continued to watch the weather alerts on the television. Once the situation had moved to the East I went to sleep.

At about 5:00 AM my power went out for about 10 seconds, then came back.

In honor of the stormy night they're promising for tonight, my latest image.

I doubt the skies here will look quite this cool.

With my roof work completed, my painting work nearly completed, and my hallway painting done, I've been thinking about all the other shit I'd like to get done this summer. What will probably actually happen is that I'll do a couple of these things then this JoeHomeowner side of my personality will get tired and leave.

1. Paint foyer. I've already got the paint and the primer, I just need to get off my ass and do it.

2. Landscaping. This will be a huge job if I end up doing what I'm envisioning now.

3. Foyer and Kitchen floors. This is kind of on hold because I need to check out some walls to see if they're load-bearing or not.

4. Kitchen/Dining room paint. I've got to get that hideous wallpaper and paneling down and I need to do it whether number #3 above gets done or not.

5. Replace carpet. This will not get done as I've blown the carpeting budget on important things like my new 65" television.

6. Driveway repair and extension. I've got an estimate of $2300 for getting this done. I haven't decided yet.

7. Bathroom merger. I'd really like to merge two adjacent bathrooms into a single large room, but this project will also involve knocking out a wall and I'm pretty paranoid about that. It would also cost a lot to get new fixtures and shit.

8. Garage work area. All this stuff I've done in the garage lately, along with all the new tools I've bought, has got me to thinking about extending the workbench into a full-fledged woodshop. At least that I could do with cheap materials, a little at a time.

9. More painting. My living room, bedroom, guest room, and the entire basement are currently the worst and/or most boring colors ever put to roller. I need to do something about it, but I don't know what just yet.

10. My guest bathroom. The world's worst wallpaper adorns this small room. I must do something about it, but I've been putting it off because I'd also like to have the toilet moved and put in a shower. Once this is done I can seriously think about item #7 above.

11. More kitchen shit. The cabinets and especially the countertops shout 1980s. The look of the kitchen and dining area needs to be updated. An expensive proposition though.

12. Stonework repairs. I've tried several times to get somebody to the house to give me an estimate on repairing some loose stones. I think I'll have to figure it out for myself.

13. Do something about the deck. My old deck is really clashing with the newly-patined house. I need to clean it then either paint or stain it. There are also some boards that could use replacement.

14. Replace skylight trim that I tore out when I painted the openings.

15. Do something about the leaning basketball goal.

16. Tear down the playhouse. Or maybe just get somebody to come and take it away.

17. Massive cleanup. I have enough empty boxes to build a hobo jungle. Instead I should rent a dumpster and get rid of them along with the broken appliances and the world's ugliest loveseat that I've been keeping around for some stupid reason.

18. Replace the ugly lighting. Each ceiling fixture in my house is competing with all the other fixtures for the title of Ugliest Thing in the Universe. So far the monstrousity in the dining room is the odds-on favorite, but the beast in the foyer isn't far behind, and the flowered shade in the bedroom can't be ignored just because it's out of the public eye.

19. Fix the gutters. Some of them don't slope enough, and there are some seams that are leaking.

20. Move the outside heat pump. This is too close to the house. In the winter dripping water (see #19 above) causes ice to build up and jam the unit's fan.

21. Fix or cover up the demolition work I did in the basement when I got my pool table.

22. A very long-term project. I'd like to put a nice bar area in the basement.

23. A front porch would be nice as long as I'm thinking big.

I'm sure there's more, but this list is already long enough to keep me busy for the next 273 years.

After a week of cussing, pounding, cutting, and lifting I've finally finished my siding project.

Special thanks go to my sister Dina's fiance Kenny and to my old friend Eric. I couldn't have done it without you guys.

Once my friend Dan "Holy Shit" Kruer and his crew prime and paint the new trim I don't think it will look too bad.

Kind of a boring weekend at Rich O's. There were no LaptopGirl sightings, and most of the other people I know there were also missing.

On Friday I just had a couple of the Upland Winter Warmers. This weird guy kept bugging me with inane questions, plus there was a dead old lady sitting across from me. I left after just the two beers.

On Saturday things started out a little more interesting. MisunderstoodGirl actually sat with me at the bar and actually initiated a conversation. Perhaps I was just being paranoid about her being pissed at me for some unknown reason. A more likely scenario is that TallLady, who I talked with at last weekend's party, relayed to MisunderstoodGirl that I was detecting some animosity from her.

Anyway, I wasn't really in the mood for anything heavy when I first got to Rich O's. I'd been working on my siding all day and my sunburned skin needed something a little less drying.

What I had was one of those Frenchy Two Brothers beers, then another one. I cannot stress enough how much I like this beer.

After my second Frenchy beer I was feeling a little cooler so I tried a Belhaven Scottish Ale. This came in a can (with one of those foaming widget thingies) and I liked it a lot too. It was a lot creamier than the Scotch Ale I'd had in Omaha last month. The beer had a lot of shit floating in it. Shit that, by the time I got down to the last inch or so of the glass, was starting to creep me out. Instead of getting a spoon for that last inch I pushed it aside and had myself a Winter Warmer.

One other item of note was that CreepyGuy was there with some of his CreepyPosse. CreepyGuy had a black eye and a Band-Aid on his face. He must have creeped someone out to the point of violence. Whatever happened, I'm sure he deserved it.

Just a quick image I made using an interesting terrain file that one of the Terragen gurus posted.

This should probably be in the work category but going to Las Vegas, no matter what the context, is definitely more fun than work as far as I'm concerned.

Yes, I get to spend a week in the Jewel of the Desert in June.

Yippee!!

At a meeting today that I didn't attend because I had too much real work to do I won an award for my help in a recent server upgrade project.

While I was quite happy to win the award, I nearly creamed when I learned that with the award came an extra $250 in my next paycheck.

Hooray! Now I can fill my truck up with gas! Maybe.