You know how sometimes you think you've got it all figured out, that nothing can really surprise you anymore?

Then you know how one day that thing, that thing you thought you had defined and categorized and labeled and stuck in a jar on a shelf, that thing beats you over the head and then rips open your chest and reaches in and grabs your insides and flings them all around you? And you're standing there with a smashed-in head and your heart and guts are all strewn about, and you realize maybe that you weren't quite as wise and smart and jaded as you'd thought? And then you realize that you just might be a dumbass?

You know what I'm talking about?

And do you know that, all those sappy clichés, they're all true? That the truth really does hurt, and it really can set you free? That love really is a many-splendored thing, and you can't really know it until you surrender yourself to it? Do you know how it's not all just bullshit to sell records and anniversary cards?

You know how one day you're sitting around contemplating how well you've got your shit together then all of a sudden your entire existence is turned upside-down, inside-out, every which way but loose? You know how suddenly you feel so alive that you wish you were dead?

Me neither. I'd like to know those things though. For now I just suspect them.