Sometimes I say things or, more rarely, do things. Things that might not be totally selfless. Things that, on the surface at least, aren't obviously bad, but that are still at least a little bit suspect.

Why did he just say that? people might ask.

What does he mean? people might wonder.

What's he doing now? people might question.

I think it's usually subconscious for me, when I do some of the things I do, and say some of the things I say. I mean, I don't hardly ever intend to do/say these things - they just happen. And then, once they've happened, I'm fucking glad that they did.

I was thinking tonight about certainty.

Some synonyms: assurance, certitude, confidence, conviction, positiveness, surety

Some antonyms: ambiguity, doubt, hesitation, questionableness, tergiversation

It seems to me that we all go through our lives with an almost unbearable amount of uncertainty. Our jobs, our families, our friends, our lovers - none are open books. All harbor secrets or, if not really secrets, at least knowledge that hasn't been uncovered. Questions that haven't been answered or even, in many cases, asked.

Will this last?

What does that mean?

Have I blown it?

What just happened?

Sometimes, I do things or say things. Things that, I hope, either reduce or, ideally, eliminate uncertainty about the way that I feel. And why I feel the way that I feel. About the way that I intend and expect to always feel, forever and ever.

Purposeful or not, intentional or not, planned or not, these things that I sometimes do and say - they all have at their core the one thing that's the most important to me as I struggle to keep my head above water through these turbulent times.

They are all the absolute truth.

If, for example, I say that I always want to see a certain person then that's exactly what it means. There's no ambiguity in the word always. It means what it means, Weird and unsettling as it may be, it's still the absolute truth. It's still a certainty.

I've spent so much time without any certainty about the things that are most important to me. I hate hate hate fucking hate the thought of some people being uncertain as to my intentions, or my feelings, or my motives.

I fucking hate that thought. So sometimes I say things, and sometimes I do things. Things that just might help to clarify things, to answer some of those nagging yet unasked questions.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm in a weird mood. I can thank New Holland Night Tripper (68) for this mood.

To be honest, I don't remember an awful lot about Saturday night between about 7:00 and about 11:00. But I'll start writing anyway and maybe it'll all come rushing back to me.

---

After LaptopGirl left, I think that was about when I started my fourth Dirty Helen. (322). I'd been considering maybe possibly thinking about going to Louisville, but that fourth beer pretty much put that idea on hold. Not that I really wanted to go anyway. LaptopGirl might come back, she'd said.

I'd somehow managed to grab the throne. I don't remember moving there. LaptopGirl and I'd sat on the loveseat when she was there.

Anyway, I was on the throne, just kind of vegging out. Then NotHideousGirl came in. It was very cool to see her, arm in a sling and all.

I didn't word that correctly. The sling part wasn't cool. I meant to say that it was cool to see her despite the sling.

At one point, MusicalYuppieDude came in. I think that was about when I ordered my fifth Dirty Helen (342).

So the three of us talked about random bullshit. The place was pretty dead - just the way I like it. I don't think anyone bothered us except this one dude that's always mooching cigarettes off everyone.

I switched to Diet Cokes at about 8:30 or so. I still felt fine, actually. I just knew that another beer would result in my not feeling fine. So I cut myself off.

Then, at about 10:00, I had an interesting phone conversation. At 10:30 or so, I left Rich O's to go to Louisville.

And then some stuff happened, and some other stuff didn't happen.

For one thing, I got pee on me.

You don't have to tell me that it's kinda silly for me to be here now. And by here I mean the red room at Rich O's, and by now I mean 3:30 on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. You don't have to tell me, because I sort of already know it. But what I also know is that I've got a damn good reason for being here. Now.

I'm supposed to meet LaptopGirl here at 5:00, to tell her something which she already knows. Not that one thing which she already knows, silly. Another thing. I need to tell her that her computer is probably on its last legs.

Anyway, I got bored at home and I didn't want to start anything new at 3:00, so I came down here instead. And now I'm sitting and writing and enjoying a Barley Island Dirty Helen (262). But mostly, I'm waiting. I do that a lot, it seems.

So this morning, after I took care of some bullshit exciting challenges for work, I took my Monte Carlo to get its oil changed. That wasn't particularly interesting except that this one dude kept bugging me to sell my car to him. Not gonna happen, OilChangeDude, so back the fuck off.

After that, I drove around for a while. I checked out the new NABC brewery location. Not much to see except for this one temporary banner thingy. I took a picture:

Then I went down to the other side of the floodwall and looked at the river for a while. That place used to seem so isolated when I was a teenager. Now it's some kind of stupid park. They've got fucking bandstands and bleachers and shit. Plus, it's closed at night. Much slaking used to take place there at night. I wonder where people go now, when they want to slake.

Then I went to Polly's Freeze for lunch. And I got to sit at my favorite table, so that was cool.

Next I drove to Lanesville. I'd decided that I was apparently retracing my childhood in reverse-order. I mean with the floodwall and Polly's. With the oil-change place and the brewery, not so much. So I went to this park in Lanesville where I used to play until I was six and we moved away. It used to be a pretty shitty (hey, poet and don't know it) park. And I suppose it's still shitty. But they keep adding new buildings to the place. They're all locked, though. Maybe that's where they keep all the cool stuff.

I took pictures of this slide. I can't believe it's still here after all these years. I'd have thought it would have rusted into a heap by now. This slide was always scary as fuck to me, when I'd climb up those shaky chains and then pull and contort myself between the bars to the platform. It was worth it, though, because the sliding-down part was really cool.

Next I drove to my old house there in Lanesville. I keep hoping to see somebody in the yard, but I never have, and today was no different.

Next I went home for a bit, but I got bored and came here to Rich O's.

Oh yeah, now I'm having my second Dirty Helen (282) and it's yummy.

So there.

I'll admit, I was a little concerned last night. This dive bar burned to the ground the other morning, and so there was a lot of barless riff-raff in New Albany all of a sudden. So I was concerned that many of those people would infest Rich O's and start doing their drugs in the restroom and start arguments with the bartenders over the lack of swill to drink.

But, if there was any riff-raff there, I didn't see them. It was a fairly nice and relaxing night.

That was the good news. The bad news was that LaptopGirl made only the briefest of appearances. Just enough to whet my appetite. It's okay, though; we're not fighting again. She just had to go back home.

I knew I should have just gone to Covington.

So I spent the bulk of the night sitting at the kiddie table. I started out with a glass of Delirium Tremens (1258) and I followed that up with a couple of pints of Barley Island Dirty Helen (242). All were good. I spent some time talking to SmooshDude, and once he left I moved to the loveseat and talked to PearlGirl and a couple of other chicks. One of the other chicks has been in enough that I will christen her PoolGirl because she's a pool player.

At the end of the night I found myself standing at the end of the bar talking to FutureDude for a while. I came home at midnight or so.

Oh yeah, ActualGeorge was there for a while, too. But he stayed out in the loser section with his family, so I only talked to him for a couple of minutes.

First, I do want to. And I think it's time. But I can't. I was asked to never do it, remember?

---

Monday I finally had the water pump replaced in the Monte Carlo. So now I can actually drive it again. This is beyond cool to me. I even drove it to work today, risking door-dings in the parking garage. Once I get the exhaust repaired (it's a little LOUD) then there'll be nothing wrong with the car except that its owner still won't really be cool enough for it.

---

One of these years I should probably fix the gutter that was torn loose in January.

---

I think I want to go back to Covington this weekend. I seriously doubt that I'll do any such thing, because last time I checked, Covington wasn't located inside Rich O's.

---

On Monday I got to hang out with NormalGirl and RahRahGirl for a while after work. They were dressed to the nines (whatever that means) in sexy slinky black dresses. I don't think I did a very good job of averting my gaze, especially regarding NormalGirl.

---

I've felt myself starting to lose faith in one of my friends. Not that I ever really had any reason to think that I could trust him completely. But lately I've become a little convinced that he'd betray me in a heartbeat. So, I'm getting a little preemptively angry at him. I'm being stupid, I know.

---

Oh yeah, I managed to poke myself in the eye or something last night while I was sleeping. It's been hurting me all day, and it's a lovely shade of red. I hope it doesn't rot and fall out, but if it does then I'm going to get a glass eye that's brown. That way I can walk around with two differently-colored eyes and see if anyone notices.

---

It's midnight and I still have 3/4 of this Marzen (3591) left in my glass. I'd better get to drinking it.

---

I still have better topics that I want to write about. I still can't motivate myself to write, though, so crap like this is all you get for now.

Okay, I'm back now. Heartfelt thanks go out to the zero people who noticed that I was gone. I get tears in my eyes when I think about all zero of you.

Anyway, I was in Covington, KY, which is across the river from Cincinnati and next to Newport. It was for a work thing, a series of meetings that lasted from 8:30 until 5:30 Wednesday. I drove up Tuesday after noon and spent the night.

After I'd checked into the stupid Marriot, I set out on foot in search of food and beverage. I walked from my hotel, at the river's shore, about 18,000 blocks South. All I found were pawn shops and cash advance places. So, not the best part of town, I figured. Next, I shifted a couple of blocks to my left, turned around, and trekked back towards the river. Still, pawn shops and cash advance places, but now with some strip joints thrown in for good measure.

I got back to the stupid Marriot, intending to get in my truck and drive to Newport. I know they have beer there. But, at the hotel, I got to talking to the doorman, and he told me where the touristy section of Covington was.

Remember, back two paragraphs ago, I said that I'd shifted to my left. Well it turns out that I should have shifted to my right. Because to the right was where all of the bars were.

The guy told me it was a two-minute walk. It was more like a zillion years, but I finally made it there. By the time I arrived in the touristy area, I was dying for Newcastle. So I went into the first likely-looking place, called the Cock & Bull.

I'd been hoping to find a Guinness, maybe a Newcastle. I most certainly hadn't dared to hope that I'd find Delirium Tremens, or Unibroue Maudite. Or a bottled beer selection that even MrPopular might envy. It was a very nice place, and I stayed there for hours.

Because I had fish and chips for my late lunch, I was bound by both honor and propriety to have a Newcastle (9367). The glasses were only 16 ounces, but they were unchilled. I was very happy. Even though I thought the fish kinda sucked.

My next beer was a Delirium Tremens (1225), and I spent some time talking to this one dork who wanted Beck's and would settle for nothing else.

Next, I tried something new to me.

Moerlein O.T.R.

(bottle) Clear dark orange. Kind of a weird color. No head to speak of. An aroma of malts and hops that was pretty enticing. Medium mouthfeel. The flavor was extremely good. The hops seemed to be a mixture of the piney kind (which I hate) and the flowery kind (which I love) and there was also a strong malty component to the flavor. Definitely very interesting and balanced and drinkable. I'd love to try this on tap someday. Yummy.

Just one example of my stupidity: I was talking for a couple of hours to this one cute girl about my reason for being there and the upcoming derby and beer and whatever else. It was a good conversation, I will call her EyesGirl, because she had two of them. Anyway, at one point she suggested that we go to some of the other bars in the area. Because I'd told her that I was only in town for one night, she said she wanted to show me a good time.

And not in a hooker way, I don't think. In a I'm a nice girl but I'll be naughty with you way.

So, naturally, I told her that I was seeing somebody. Even though I'm clearly not seeing anyone.

EyesGirl left shortly afterwards. Probably went home to masturbate, the poor thing.

I ended up convincing my boss, in town for the same work thing, to come up to the Cock & Bull and have dinner. I had another Delirium Tremens (1235) and then I talked my boss into giving me a ride back to the stupid Marriot.

Then today I had meetings then I drove home.

I need to see if Rich O's can get the O.T.R. there. I think people would like it, but mostly I'd just like to have it again without having to drive to Covington. It's kind of a cross between Rogue Dead Guy and Three Floyd's Gumballhead.

Last night I didn't even get to Rich O's until about 9:00. I think that's better for me. Less time to build up hope, so not as much disappointment. Last night, my late arrival was a godsend.

I think I've said this before. If so, I'm going to say it again. I think that Rich O's is going to become more and more unbearable between now and November. They don't even pretend to be neutral anymore, as the new signage on the front door attests. Now, I certainly don't mind people having opinions, in fact I support it with everything I have. But it's become perfectly clear to me that only one opinion matters at Rich O's. No dissenting opinion may be spoken, lest the speaker be treated to a verbal assault that would make the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket seem like Mr. Rogers.

Anyway.

The place was only about half full, and most of the people there were strangers crammed into the living room area. I sat at the island with UPSDude. WomanRepellant and this one dude who looks like my cousin Robbie were at the bar, but I didn't recognize anyone else.

I had myself a Paulaner Hefeweissbier (501). I talked about random crap with UPSDude. I glared at the strangers in the living room area. I watched the door.

At one point, I think about when I ordered my second Paulaner (518) I texted HatGirl with the incredibly clever and sweet message, "Hi, HatGirl!!!"

I guess it worked, because about ten seconds later HatGirl walked in.

HatGirl!

Yay!

She hadn't got my text message, she and LuckyFucker had already been on their way - probably in the parking lot - when I'd sent it. But I still took the coincidence as proof that great minds thing alike.

LuckyFucker ended up at the kiddie table talking to WomanRepellant, and HatGirl joined me at the island. So I was treated to an uninterrupted hour or so of HatGirl's company. That was very very cool.

Oh yeah, I ended up drinking the last several ounces of HatGirl's Delirium Tremens (1215), because she's going through another lightweight phase.

Yay for free Tremens!

Oh wait, I paid for HatGirl's beer. But still, yay for Tremens!

A few minutes after HatGirl and LuckyFucker left, some utter bullshit happened that put me into a very bad mood, and I left Rich O's. I ended up going to Sluttopia for about 10 seconds, then I came home. What happened next will not be written about.

First, I need to get Wednesday out of the way. Besides it being AlliDay, which is always nice, I went to Rich O's after work to see BadPickleGirl for the first time since right after my Nephew was killed. I had booze for her and that was enough to lure her to see me. So we talked and split a pizza. I had two NABC Cone Smokers (3357) and then she followed me so I could drop my truck off to get its alignment fixed.

One weird thing was that, while I was filling out the little card so I could drop my key in the slot, a little black car pulled into the parking lot. I thought to myself, That looks kinda like Dina's car.

As it turned out, it was exactly like Dina's car, because it was Dina's car. She'd seen my truck and pulled in to say hello. So that was cool.

The next day I don't think anything remotely interesting happened except that I got my truck back.

By Friday night, I'd decided that I wasn't going to go to Rich O's. So of course I went to Rich O's. This has become a very annoying pattern for me. I decide that I'm not going, that I'm going to go someplace different, but then I go because I'm afraid of missing you know who anyone anything. Then, I get in there, and too often lately I find that I'm miserable because of the weirdoes and the fucking loud music and the increasingly belligerent political discussions. But I stay and I watch the door for hours and, more often than not, I leave disappointed. And I vow that, next time, I'll do something different.

But last night was pretty decent. For one thing, it wasn't very crowded at all. Certainly not like a usual Friday night. It was mostly regulars, and we mostly just sat around and babbled about random things.

I'd started out at the kiddie table, where I had two glasses of yummy Delirium Tremens (1209), then when TallLady left I moved to the throne. Most of the night the living room area held myself, MusicalYuppieDude, PlantDude, and PillowDude. At one point PearlGirl came in. She had apparently time-traveled back to the 1960s to buy a dress before coming to Rich O's.

My next beer was a Paulaner Hefeweissbier (484). Then I switched to Diet Coke for a while. I was considering going over to Louisville. AlliGirl had invited me to come see some band I never heard of. I asked MusicalYuppieDude about the band, and he said they're supposed to be pretty good. Plus it would have been nice to see AlliGirl again.

But then LaptopGirl came in and I forgot about wanting to leave. I forget about a lot of things when LaptopGirl is in the room.

I most certainly will not apologize for that.

I babbled a lot. I blame the Tremens I'd had earlier. Plus, she kept asking me questions that seemed to necessitate babbling answers.

Oh yeah, we ended up splitting a glass of Browning's Bourbon Imperial Stout. I already knew that it was yummy, but I think this was LaptopGirl's first time to have it. She said she liked it too.

Once LaptopGirl went home, I briefly thought about heading over to see AlliGirl and the band after all, but in the end I just came home and sat on my swing and did some navel gazing.

I keep seeing these little flickers in my brain.

I'm pretty sure that they're not symptoms of a tumor. And they're not quite entry ideas, but I think that someday they might be. The latter, I mean. Maybe, someday, they'll turn into entries. If they can get over their fear of the light. If they can come out and show themselves to me, so that I might do this writing thing that I seem to want to do today.

Or, if I can catch them before they scurry away again.

Cowards!

I've noticed these flickers, these little thoughts, before. I've written about them before.

The thoughts are there, running around inside me, but they flee when I try to capture them. They hide behind trivia and inane bullshit, and they snicker among themselves about how easily they evade me.

Only the weakest among them are ever at risk.

Sometimes I manage to catch one of these lesser thoughts. Then I'll dissect it and expose its innards to the world. And its brethren watch in horror from their hiding places, and they stop their snickering, for a while at least.

I'm in a fairly strange mood tonight. I don't know why. It might have something to do with the bottle of Ommegang Three Philosophers (49) that I've now almost finished. But I don't think that's it. I think it's something else. Something much deeper than alcohol.

I think that maybe I've just taken a good hard look at myself, and maybe I've started to suspect that I'm not as happy as I think I am.

That would really suck. Because I fucking like being happy.

But I've been noticing shit, every now and then.

I'm starting to suspect, if I look at things objectively, I'm starting to suspect that things aren't quite as fantastic as I've been thinking. There seems to be an underlying stress to my life. Just a touch of effort to interactions that should be effortless. I think it's like walking up a very long, very slight, upgrade. You don't really notice that you're putting any extra effort into walking, but your heart beats faster than it should, and your muscles get tired much sooner than they should. My life is kinda like that. It's harder than it seems.

I'm finding myself being extra careful about what I say. I'm finding myself paying extra attention to what I hear. I'm finding myself working hard during those times of my life that should be the easiest and the most enjoyable. Also, I'm sensing that extra effort in those around me, when they talk to me, they seem to be working harder than warranted.

Oooooh!

I just saw another flicker! I'm going to stop writing now, and try to catch the little bugger.

Remember back when the supercontinent Pangea split, and the flora and fauna of Africa and South America were left to develop and evolve independently?

Well, That's about the same time that my sister Neisha last came into Rich O's. Until last night.

I'd been told, earlier in the week, that both of my sisters were coming to Rich O's, but I very nearly forgot. I guess it was just so unlikely that my brain refused to waste valuable memory space with it. So, I nearly forgot and took off for Nashville Saturday morning.

I'd been thinking about going to Nashville because it's fairly close and I wanted to get away from Rich O's for a night. LaptopGirl had said she wasn't going to be there Saturday night, so it seemed like a perfect opportunity.

But I was late for my truck appointment, so I didn't get its alignment fixed. And then on the way home I remembered about my sisters.

What I ended up doing was talking them to Tumbleweed. This was the first time I'd been in there in a very long time. It will probably be a very long time before I go back. The food just wasn't that good.

After that we went to Rich O's. My sisters got to put several names and nicknames with faces. It was fun. I had an NABC Cone Smoker (3517) and tried to decide what I was going to do after my sisters left. I didn't see any point in staying at Rich O's if LaptopGirl wasn't going to show up.

But what happened was, MusicalYuppieDude and I split a bottle of yummy Malheur 10 (65), and it was so damn yummy that we split another bottle (78). By the time that second bottle was gone, I needed to stick around for a while to sober up. So I had some Diet Cokes and talked with various people about various crap.

Then LaptopGirl emailed me to ask about what she was missing. I asked her to please come. And so that's what she did. Yay!

We sat on the sofa and talked about how she made the front page of a local alternative newspaper. So now she's all famous and shit. I hope it doesn't go to her head.

We split a Guinness, and then she ended up pouring most of her half into my glass (1851).

After LaptopGirtl left, I came home.

Oh yeah! There was a fight when I was on my way to Rich O's!

Let me see if I remember clearly. Just in case I'm ever called as a witness or something. I'll put that in another entry, because I want to have a picture.

I know, I suck. You don't have to remind me. I need to update this thing more often. Even if I only have boring things to write about, I still need to do it.

Thursday was another virtual Friday for me, so I went to Rich O's for some stupid reason. The fucking Thursday weirdoes were there, of course, and they made my life miserable with their existence, of course.

I sat at the kiddie table and had three yummy glasses of Delirium Tremens (1187) and they were yummy. I didn't really talk to anyone except WomanRepellant, and even that was just for a while.

I got really really bored and left once I'd realized that nobody interesting was going to show up. Also, now there are three of the Thursday weirdoes wearing those stupid hats. Before, it had been just the one uberweirdo. But now there are three of them doing it.

So then Friday morning we had us some earthquakes.

When the first one hit, all three of my cats jumped off the bed and hauled ass down the hallway. I woke up and wondered for a second if my cats were really fat enough to cause the house to shake like that. When my mind cleared a little, I thought that a tornado must be barreling toward my house. But when I turned my head and looked out my window, I saw stars in the sky. That's when I figured that it was either an earthquake or a plane crash or something.

The thing about earthquakes is that you don't know how long they're going to last or how strong they're going to get. So I put on some pants in case I had to run outside.

The other thing about earthquakes is that you don't know anything. I mean, it could have been a .01 earthquake right under my house, or it could have been an 11.5 earthquake in St. Louis. I didn't know, and I wanted to know, so once the shaking had stopped I went and checked the USGS site. I was very impressed that they already had information about the quake - it had only been a couple of minutes.

The second earthquake that I felt was at 11:15 or so. I was in my kitchen, and all of my bottles started rattling together, or I might not have even noticed it.

Anyway.

Friday afternoon was fun. I went to Polly's Freeze for lunch. There were 18 million high school kids there, but they arrived right after I did, so I didn't have to wait for my order. So, haha stupid high school kids. Then I got an email from LaptopGirl. Then I went and had the oil changed in my truck, then I bought new tires for my truck. The old tires were 9 years old, so I got my money's worth.

Friday night I got a couple of text messages from TremensGirl. She seemed to want me to be at Rich O's, for some reason. But of course by the time I finally arrived there were people more interesting than me there. Hard to believe, I know. But that's okay, I have enough to worry about, and I'm sure it's all my fault anyway.

I sat at the island and watched the door all night. The place was pretty packed, mostly I think because some dude nobody ever heard of was playing music in the special people section, and so anyone who didn't feel like paying the cover charge had to use whatever space they could find and/or manufacture in the remainder of Rich O's.

So I sat at the island and I had a couple pints of NABC Cone Smoker (3497) and then after LaptopGirl arrived (yay!) we split a Smithwick's (1688) and talked mostly about babies and murder-mystery stuff. I had a brilliant idea for a Rich O's murder-mystery. Maybe someday it will actually happen, but I'll have to write it myself because LaptopGirl doesn't like my idea.

Then when I came home I sat in my garage and had a bottle of Schlenkerla Marzen (3431). It had been raining earlier, or I'd have sat on my swing.

Then today I was supposed to have the wheels realigned on my truck, but I got there too late. Oh well.

Okay, I'm all caught up with this blog thingy now.

I got to Rich O's at 4:00 or so. That had been my plan all along. So when SassyGirl called at 3:00 to let me know she and JauntyGirl were back in town, and I told her I could meet her at 4:00, I didn't choose that time just to piss her off. Though I could somehow hear her face fall when I told her that. They had other plans, so they wouldn't be at Rich O's until later.

So, like I said, I got there at 4:00 or so. There were four strangers in the living room, but it looked like they were getting ready to leave, so I sat at the kiddie table and positioned myself to pounce onto the throne. I ordered a small pizza and an NABC Flat Tyre (839).

Once the stranger quartet had left, I moved my shit and sat on the throne. PearlGirl came in with her hot teacher friend, so that was nice of her. Even nicer was that my sister called to let me know that she was on her way to Rich O's. That was a nice surprise.

I used a variation of the word nice three times in that paragraph. I need a new thesaurus.

After my Flat Tyre, I had an NABC Cone Smoker (3397).

Dina and her husband Kenny came in and sat on the sofa, and we talked about various fluff for a while. Then SassyGirl and JauntyGirl came in and squeezed onto the sofa. It was all very nice and pleasant. SassyBoy joined us at one point.

At about 6:00, it was time for Dina and Kenny to be getting ready for bed, so they left. I think this was about when I switched to Diet Coke for a while.

The rest of the evening passed quickly enough. It mostly consisted of SassyGirl giving me shit for not dropping my tentative Saturday plans to see LaptopGirl, and hanging out with them instead. She gave me a lot of shit about that, and I asked her more than once to please stop. See, nobody understands. I would skip my own fucking funeral if there was even a slight chance that I might get to see LaptopGirl instead. I will not apologize for my priorities.

My next beer was a Delirium Tremens (1157), and it was the best-tasting beer I'd had in a long time.

Once SassyGirl and her posse left, I sat around for a few more minutes, then I came home at 9:30 or so.

I'm working from home again today. Burning yet another day of vacation so I don't lose it completely at the end of the month. I'll have 36 hours left to use, after today. I might make it.

Anyway, so last night was a sort of virtual Friday for me, so I went to Rich O's. I got there a little before 9:00, and I was quite dismayed to see that not only were all the Thursday weirdoes still there, they had infested the entire living room area. I said hello to MusicalYuppieDude and TremensGirl, who were suffering on the sofa, and then I sat at the island and talked to some dude who needs to get a nickname.

I think I was expecting to be sad all night. I think I was even looking forward to it, at least a little bit, as it would be a chance to visit a version of myself that I haven't seen in a long time. Accordingly, I didn't fuck around when it came to my beer selection. I went straight for a bottle of Avery's The Reverend (547). It was yummy as always, and it's actually all I had there last night.

I never did become sad like I'd been expecting. WomanRepellant came and joined me for a while. I traded a couple of emails with LaptopGirl. OddlyFamiliarGirl came and sat with me. The two of us talked for at least two hours about various stuff. I had two Diet Cokes once my beer was gone.

It ended up being a much nicer night than I'd been expecting, so my reunion with my past self never happened.

When I came home I sat on my swing with a yummy Schlenkerla Marzen (3338), sent another email to LaptopGirl and a couple to RockGirl, and then watched the lightning until it started raining. Then I went to bed.

The random girls in the previous entry, I met them at this new PJ's Brewhouse in Louisville. Please note that I called it a brewhouse instead of a brewpub. Apparently, there's a difference. Also apparently, calling something a brewhouse means that you don't have to brew beer there.

Something like that.

I heard about this place about a month ago from a guy at work. I knew I wanted to check it out, but I had a tough time getting motivated to go over there. I invited LaptopGirl, but she didn't want to go. I invited WeirdGirl, but she was mad at me. I dropped several hints onto HatGirl Saturday, but she politely ignored them.

So I went by my damn self.

It seemed like a pretty nice place. It seemed even more nice when the bartender decided to give me samples of seven beers on the house. Because I'm all famous and shit.

Anyway, I sampled all of their beers except for a maibock. I don't remember why I didn't sample the maibock.

BJ's Blonde

(draft) Clear golden. Metallic hoppy taste. Served way too cold. I was not expecting to like this, and I didn't. A waste of time.

BJ's Harvest Hefeweizen (2)

(draft) Hazy yellow. Strong aroma of cloves, yeast, and bananas. Maybe some vanilla in there. Flavor was like the aroma, except there seemed to be roasted malt in the thing too. Weird for a hefeweizen, but pretty good.

BJ's Jeremiah Red (5)

(draft) Clear copper color. The aroma and flavor were mild, but malty and fruity. Very smooth and creamy mouthfeel. Good.

BJ's Nutty Brewnette (5)

(draft) Stupid name. Clear dark brown in color. Aroma and flavor of roasted malts and light hops, with a lingering bitter hop finish. Too damn hoppy for a brown ale. Decent is all I can say.

BJ's Piranha Pale Ale (2)

(draft) Clear amber in color. Light hoppy aroma and flavor. Just a slightly bitter finish. Pretty tame. I don't like the style, but this was endurable.

BJ's PM Porter (5)

(draft) Fizzy (?!?!?) dark brown, almost black. Light chocolate aroma. Mouthfeel is watery and creamy. The fizziness is very weird in a porter. Flavor of watery chocolate and a touch of roasted malt. Good flavor, but not very much of it, so this gets only a decent rating.

BJ's Tatonka Stout (21)

(draft) Black in color. Roasted malts dominate the aroma and flavor. A mild alcohol burn finishes. For an alleged imperial stout, this is pretty lame. For a regular stout, it's pretty good. Reminds me of Bell's Kalamazoo Stout. Good.

Clever readers may deduce that I had a full (16 oz.) glass of the Tatonka after my sample was gone.

I ended up being there for about three hours, mainly because of the random girls who kept pestering me. I also had some chicken pot sticker thingies that were very good.

It was fun. LaptopGirl and/or HatGirl and/or WeirdGirl should have come with me. I don't bite. Except when asked.

My plan had been to try to take a quick nap before going back to Rich O's, but I was afraid that I'd fall asleep and not wake up until this morning. So I ended up going back at 7:00 or so.

The place wasn't all that packed, but it was all weirdoes and strangers. Except for CrewCutGirl, I didn't recognize a single customer in the place. The living room area, in particular, was full of weirdoes.

I sat at the kiddie table and had an Ommegang Three Philosophers (24). I emailed LaptopGirl about the weirdoes. I emailed OddlyFamiliarGirl about her Olive Garden discount. I emailed RockGirl about something or other. Mostly I just sat and watched the door.

I had an NABC Community Dark (281) and sipped at it for a couple of hours.

Oh yeah, I was also starving. I was going to eat something, but I'd told LaptopGirl that I'd hold off in case she wanted to split a pizza or something. We were supposed to go listen to karaoke at Sluttopia, and I thought that she might be able to swing by Rich O's first.

At 10:00, I ended up going over to Sluttopia. LaptopGirl met me there. I had a Newcastle (9149) and a sip of LaptopGirl's Sierra Nevada ESB while we endured this one weird origami guy demonstrating his creations.

They didn't even start the karaoke until late, because of some basketball game. So that sucked. And then, once people started singing, they were all fairly terrible.

I tried to talk LaptopGirl into singing, but I didn't press very hard.

LaptopGirl got to stay for a couple of hours. That was really nice. I ended up drinking the last half of her Newcastle (2159). When she had to leave I gave her the wine I'd bought for her today. I hope she enjoys it.

It was a really good night. One of the best.

Except I never did eat anything.

It's been a fun day so far.

First, I woke up at 5:30 in the flipping morning. Now, on a lot of Saturdays, I'll just go ahead and get out of bed at times like that. Because I know that I'll be able to take a nap later. But today, today I knew that I'd be spending a good chunk of the afternoon with HatGirl, so I forced myself to go back to sleep.

I almost overslept and missed my lunch date altogether.

But, I did manage to wake up with enough time to spare. I even arrived early to The Olive Garden. HatGirl, of course, was late. But at least she'd texted me that she would be late.

Lunch was good. I don't think I've been to Olive Garden since MixedSignalGirl and I were together, and I'd definitely never been to this particular one. I ate about half my ravioli and got stuffed. I'm still stuffed even though it's been almost five hours.

After lunch, we went booze shopping. I managed to get everything on my list except for this one wine that MrPopular had requested. Apparently you can't get that particular wine in this country.

But everything else, I got. Even the supposedly hard-to-find wines that LaptopGirl had requested.

It was fun. Food was good. Shopping was fun. HatGirl is charming company. She had this hole in the thigh of her jeans. I used my psychic powers to try to widen the hole, but by then she'd become self-conscious and was covering the hole with her hand.

Speaking of LaptopGirl, on the way to Rich O's to deliver booze to MusicalYuppieDude and MrPopular, I spied LaptopGirl and her son out in front of her house. I stopped and asked if she wanted her wine then and there. She said she'd get it later. A part of me is now wondering if she is now desperately making plans to move, now that it's obvious that I know where she lives.

I stopped at Rich O's and, surprise, both MusicalYuppieDude and MrPopular were there. So I gave the former his booze, and the latter his wine. Then I sat at the island and screwed up:

Paulaner Salvatore

(draft) I ordered this by mistake, as I'd thought I was ordering their hefeweissbier. I could not have been more wrong. I did have a few sips of this, to see if it was as disgusting as all dopplebocks are to me. It was. I only had those few sips.

I also waved at ArtGirl, who was busy doing something artsy in the red room, and then TremensGirl once again graced the state of Indiana with her presence. So I talked to her for a bit before I came home and wrote this entry.

I keep having this problem, when I go to write my beer reports. I almost invariably think of one or two things that I shouldn't write about. Usually the most important and/or interesting things. And because I can't write everything that I really want to write, I ended up losing motivation to write anything at all.

Anyway, Thursday night was packed. Standing-room only for much of the night. My theory is that the regular Thursday weirdoes have somehow learned to reproduce themselves. If I'm right about this, then the world is about to become a very scary place.

So for the first hour or so, I stood in the annex area and glared at everyone. I had a new beer:

Maredsous 10

(draft) Hazy bronze. Huge heaping head. Aroma and flavor a little faint for a tripel. I was astonished to discover that this beer has 10% ABV - it's almost undetectable. I like this, but there are many better tripels out there.

FirstGirl was having a beer that looked intriguing, so that's what I had next:

Glazen Toren Saison dErpe-Mere

(draft) Yellow with a slight haze. Very good head and lacing. At first, it seemed a little watery, but then subtle flavors of apple peels and sour apples became evident. Pretty good.

Ommegang Three Philosophers

(draft) Clear dark reddish brown. Huge head that lasted forever. Aroma and flavor both surprisingly understated, with malts and a hint of cherries. Very smooth. Very good.

At one point, I did something I'd never done before at Rich O's. I spilled an entire beer. The damn glass just slipped out of my hand. Or maybe somebody pushed it. Or maybe it jumped. Though it didn't seem depressed to me. Whatever, it fell about six inches onto the island and broke. There was beer everywhere, especially on my pants and shirt. So that was embarrassing.

I made sure to text TremensGirl about what I'd done. I gave her shit once when she spilled a beer, and I felt that it was only fair that she be allowed to return the favor.

Once I'd managed to clean up the mess, I got a new glass of the same beer. It was yet another new beer for me:

Bluegrass Grand Old Fella

(draft) Their Jefferson's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout, but aged for three years. The results are a much more intense bourbon aroma and flavor. Still pretty good, but maybe a touch too intense for me. I like the regular version better.

---

Friday night was much better, crowd-wise. Or it at least seemed that way because I got to sit on the loveseat right away. To start the night, I had one of those Glazen Toren Saisons (24) and enjoyed it a lot. I was a little disappointed to find that it had 7.5% ABV in it, because that meant I couldn't drink it all night. I had to pace myself.

So next I had a bottle of Schlenkerla Marzen (3253) which was yummy as always. I suppose I talked to PearlGirl while I sat there, but mostly I think I just watched the door.

My next beer was a bottle of yummy Rogue Chocolate Stout (2509), and I nursed that for at least two hours. I very much prefer it in draft form. I hope it comes back on tap soon. Hint hint.

At 9:30 or so, all the cool stuff started happening. I was outside talking to RockGirl on the phone, telling her about how I'd almost given up on LaptopGirl showing up for the night, and my phone beeped to announce an incoming call. I suppose the dramatic thing would have been if it was LaptopGirl calling. It wasn't, but it was just as good. It was HatGirl! She wanted to know how crowded it was. I lied my ass off fudged the truth and told her there were plenty of seats, and she said she would be there shortly.

About an hour later, I'd not only given up on LaptopGirl, but I was starting to give up on HatGirl as well. But then HatGirl finally arrived.

HatGirl!

Yay!

As had been prearranged, MusicalYuppieDude vacated the loveseat so that HatGirl could sit with me. We talked about various stuff, such as how it had been trillions of years since we'd last seen each other. I took her out front to show her the poster that looks like her.

When we got back to the loveseat, LaptopGirl finally emailed me asking what was going on. I replied that it was all drunken debauchery, as usual. So then LaptopGirl came in. I introduced them. I used their real names, but I had a very strong urge to introduce them to each other as HatGirl and LaptopGirl.

Now, I'd been concerned, after HatGirl had arrived, that if LaptopGirl showed up as well I'd pay all of my attention to LaptopGirl. She has this effect on me where everyone else fades into the background. I didn't want HatGirl to fade into the background. Well, I think I did a pretty good job of talking to both of them. It didn't hurt that I was squeezed into the loveseat between them. It was quite warm, sitting there. And I'm not talking about the temperature.

This was about when I ordered an NABC 15B Porter (372).

Anyway, by the time HatGirl needed to leave, I guess this one dude was being strange, so I walked HatGirl out to her car. We talked for a few minutes in the parking lot, mostly about her upcoming wedding, and we both shivvered the whole time.

When I got back inside, some dork had stolen my seat next to LaptopGirl, so I sat at the kiddie table and talked to her from there. I guess she must have been bored at Rich O's, because she wanted to go to this my bar place nearby. We went there, but we didn't go inside because (a) there was crappy music audible from the parking lot, and (b) they had a cover charge for their stupid DJ, and (c) there was some emergency brewing at LaptopGirl's house, like the baby was waking up or something equally disastrous.

So we went back to Rich O's and talked for a few more minutes until she left. I left a few minutes later, my night complete.

So today, instead of flinging myself off the top of the nearest tall building, I figured that I'd try HatGirl one more time. I was really starting to freak out, and I sent her a message telling her as much.

She responded!

Yay!

We traded a couple of emails. I guess most notable was that she looked at my entry from Monday and called the resemblance "scary."

She did not offer an opinion as to whether her ass is better than the one in the poster.

---

On another front, I keep saying that the tiniest little things can mean all the difference to me. Tonight someone declined an invitation I'd made. But it was still very cool, because I was expecting no answer at all. Even the tiny little act of turning down my invitation will end up being one of the high points of my week.

---

I think I'm going to try to take a day of vacation Friday. I've still got a lot of hours that I need to use or lose by the end of April. I'll most likely have to work several hours on Friday but, as I said last week, I can work from home and I won't have to put on clothes. Plus, having Friday off means that I can go to Rich O's Thursday night.

---

Saturday I go booze shopping. I'm trying to put together a list of stuff to buy, so if you know me you can send me an email and I'll add your choice to my list.

---

Tonight I watched this stupid I Am Legend movie. I also had most of a bottle of Left Hand Snow Bound (112). I say most of a bottle because I managed to backhand the glass onto the floor at one point. Oops.

---

I think that's it for now.

---

Oh, wait. LaptopGirl told me that I'd be sad when I found out who got eliminated from American Idol tonight. She probably thinks that I'd be sad if Ramiele was voted off, so that's going to be my guess.

I ended up burning a day and a half of vacation Thursday and Friday. Still had to work several of those hours, but at least I got to work from home and I didn't have to put clothes on. Except when my sister came over Friday morning. I wore clothes then.

Let's see, Thursday night I got to Rich O's very early. My time sense was all out of whack because I'd left work early. I remember being excited because it was Thursday night and the usual group of weirdoes wasn't there. I pointed this out to MusicalYuppieDude, and he pointed out that it wasn't time for the weirdoes yet. What a buzz-kill.

Sure enough, the weirdoes all showed up for their 7:00 circle jerk. But they stayed in the red room, so it was okay.

I spent most of the night talking to FirstGirl's legs. I think FirstGirl was there too. Yes, in fact she was, because we talked about why so many women's shoes have such pointy toes. I think they look like elf shoes.

At about 9:00, suddenly and desperately looking for any distraction from a violent craving to bother LaptopGirl, I started texting and emailing everyone else under the Sun. A few people even replied, thank you very much. So that was cool. Except HatGirl didn't reply, so that sucked. And my craving subsided, so that was cool.

I had an NABC Cone Smoker (3297) and then about a bottle and a half of Rogue Chocolate Stout (2487). The Rogue was particularly yummy.

Friday night started out pretty loud. When I first arrived, I sat at the island where ExBartender was sitting with a couple of other dudes. Now, ExBartender is generally a fairly loud person. But I'm used to that, and it's part of his charm or whatever. What I wasn't used to was sitting with three people who were basically screaming at each other. Not screaming in anger, just with the joy of life or alcohol or something.

So I only put up with that noise for about 10 seconds before I picked up my shit and moved to the bar. I finished my Cone Smoker (3317) and then had a Regenboog Guido (42) for the first time in a few years.

I texted HatGirl again. Still no reply. So I'm officially freaking out and becoming convinced that HatGirl is mad at me for some reason. I can't imagine what that reason might be, though. Maybe my awesomeness is making LuckyFucker look bad in comparison.

(I'm kidding. Really. Maybe if I rag on you two you'll come to Rich O's and defend yourselves.)

TremensGirl had said that she'd be in, but there was no sign of her. So I texted her that this one blonde chick she knows was there. You know, in case I wasn't cool enough on my own to lure TremensGirl in.

About ten seconds passed, and TremensGirl came in and went to sit with the blonde chick.

Several million years passed, during which I accomplished taking a piss and moving to the sofa. But finally LaptopGirl came in. After I had established that we weren't fighting (I had to ask) we sat on the sofa and talked about various stuff like how my brain works. Or doesn't work. Whatever.

I felt a little bad because I'd texted TremensGirl to invite her to come in, but by the time she'd got around to me, LaptopGirl was there and everyone else blipped off my screens. But then MrPopular came to the rescue and kept TremensGirl company except for this one tense moment when she almost tried to pick a fight with LaptopGirl over politics.

(There. I used your new nickname. Your life is now complete.)

By the time LaptopGirl went home, I'd finished a second glass of the Guido (54) and a couple of glasses of Diet Coke. I'd been thinking about maybe going over to Louisville, but instead I just came home.

I have other stuff to write about, but for now, the chance to make OddlyFamiliarGirl feel envious of me, of all people, is just too good to pass up.

After I got home, I sat on my swing and had a lovely Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (2357). It was yummy, and though the wind made it a little chilly, it was well worth it.

So, ha ha!

I think that, too often, I manage to see only the good in people. Then, when they reveal their true nature, I take it as a personal attack.

I think that, too often, I see only the bad in people. Then, when they reveal their true nature, I ignore it and soon forget that it ever happened.

This might not be the best way to live my life. Seems kinda lopsided, if that makes any sense.

---

I was thinking about sweetness tonight, as I enjoyed a Fastenbier (376), which had magically reappeared on tap even after FutureDude had told me it was gone. I think FutureDude is pissed at me for some real or imagined reason.

Anyway, I know two girls who I would absolutely characterize as sweet. Not particularly nice, perhaps, but definitely sweet.

Shut up. There is too a difference. A huge difference.

There is just something special about a sweet girl. I wish that I knew more of them. But alas, they are very rare, at least in the world that I inhabit.

I think that's why I'm so drawn to sweetness.

I'm not saying that no other qualities matter to me, because they certainly do. But sweetness trumps everything else.

---

I'm not even sure that I could describe what the fuck I'm talking about.

---

I am tired now.

Last night my afternoon nap ran a little longer than I'd planned, so I was late getting to Rich O's. I was so late, in fact, that NotHideousGirl commandeered somebody's phone to call me and make sure I was on my way.

It's nice to be missed.

When I finally arrived, a little before 9:00, I was quite dismayed to see several hundred weirdoes in the living room area, with NotHideousGirl reigning supreme in the throne. I also saw MusicalYuppieDude, HairDude, and UPSDude sitting over in the red room.

I ended up sitting in the red room. There was no seat available in the living room area. Plus there were weirdoes there.

I already mentioned that, Friday night, I'd had several sips of LaptopGirl's Moinette Brune. Those sips, evenly distributed between offered and pilfered, were all pretty good. So that was the first beer I had when I sat down:

Moinette Brune (15)

(draft) Cloudy dark brown, with a large tan head. Aroma of dark fruits and something else - maybe caramel? The flavor was much more subdued than my earlier sips had led me to expect. The beer tasted a little flat and/or one dimensional. Not really anything wrong with it, but not worth having again.

New Holland Night Tripper (12)

(draft) More than black, this beer absorbed all light from within a radius of several feet. The tan head was fairly impressive as it lasted until the glass was empty. A light aroma of roasted malts, with a touch of coffee and chocolate in there as well. Flavor was almost all roasted malts, though the beer somehow managed to stay very well-balanced. Extremely yummy.

The Dragon's Milk had me particularly excited because, as soon as I heard that it was available, I texted HatGirl and told her the news that one of her all-time favorites was finally available. I was excited myself, but the thought of an actual possible HatGirl appearance nearly made NotHideousGirl wet herself with excitement. Actually, she may have wet herself; I neither asked nor checked.

But alas, the visit was not to be. HatGirl wasn't feeling well, and so she probably won't make it to Rich O's until next weekend. I have serious doubts that Dragon's Milk will still be available then. My excitement will, however, be undiminished.

Besides talking with the guys in the red room, and enjoying the occasional visit with NotHideousGirl, and trading text messages and picture mail with HatGirl, I did what I always do. I watched the door and waited to see if LaptopGirl would make an appearance.

By the time she finally showed up, I'd almost given up on her for the night. I'd moved to the throne (most of the weirdoes had left by then) and I was just starting to allow myself to relax for the first time all night.

Then the emails and the text messages started pouring in. A couple of the former from LaptopGirl, and about a million of the latter from WeirdGirl. It seemed that I would need to do some damage control with WeirdGirl, but it was going to have to wait, because LaptopGirl came in a little after 11:00. Yay!

The only seat available was at the far end of the sofa. After I glared at some weirdoes and intimidated them into vacating, I was able to go sit with LaptopGirl and talk to her for a bit. Fantastically surreal, as always.

At some point during the night, the plan had been established that NotHideousGirl and I would go to Sluttopia so she could sing at least one song to honor her deceased friend. Well, the situation with WeirdGirl looked like it was going to prevent me from going. In fact, everyone else left for Sluttopia, and it was only after a couple of phone calls to WeirdGirl that I felt right about going myself.

Sluttopia was pretty much like normal. Not to write about except that I got to introduce NotHideousGirl to my Uncle Wayne, who runs the karaoke shows in there.

At 2:00 or so, everyone else had gone off to do whatever it is that they do. I myself came home and talked to WeirdGirl on the phone for a while, then I went to sleep.

I figured that, while I wait for my houseguest to rise from the dead, that I'd catch up on some beer reviews.

There's this high-alcohol festival going on at Rich O's, called Gravity Head. It's their biggest festival every year. I usually manage to have a few of the strong offerings, but I don't bother trying to sample them all.

Anyway, here are the new high gravity beers that I've had over the last couple of weeks.

Alvinne Podge Belgian Imperial Stout

(draft) Black in color, with a thin tan lacy head that faded quickly. Aroma of malts and light chocolate and dark fruits. Medium mouthfeel - not quite syrupy. The flavor is fairly tame, mostly malts and chocolate. I like this. Dangerous though, because the high ABV is hidden very well.

(draft) Clear dark amber. Good long-lasting head. No detectable aroma. The mouthfeel is a little watery, and the flavor is mostly roasted malts. A decent beer, but kind of a waste of time. The alcohol was hidden very well, a little too well, I think.

(draft) Hazy brown in color. Minimal head that lasted. Strong aroma of hops and alcohol. Flavor more of the same. I can see how most people would really like this beer, but it's not a style that I care for. Decent is all I can say.

(draft) Hazy dark brown, with no head to speak of. According to JauntyGirl, this smells like hairspray. I myself would say that it smells of roasted malt and alcohol. Fairly thin mouthfeel, with the flavor of roasted malts and overriip cherries. No alcohol burn at all. Pretty darn good.

(draft) Clear amber in color. No head at all. Zero. Smells a little bit like laundry detergent, of all things. Mounthfeel is meduim syrupy. The flavor is a little weird to me - as with all barleywines. There is a noticeable alcohol burn at the finish. Decent.

(draft) Very dark red, with a light pink head that shrank but lasted. There was some discussion as to what the aroma was, and it was decided that this smells like Luden's cough drops. Flavor is cherries and cranberries. No alcohol burn at all. Quite good, but also quite strange.

(draft) Clear dark orange in color, this beer didn't seem to have much of an aroma. So I was surprised to find such a funky and citrusy flavor. To be fair, this beer may have clashed greatly with the chocolately porter I'd had earlier, but I don't think I'd have liked it all that much anyway. I only drank a few sips, then I gave the rest away.

(bottle) Black with tan head. Aroma and flavor of coffee and light chocolate. Not much of a bourbon flavor, but a lingering alcohol burn that was bourbony.

(draft) A fairly standard imperial stout, though I was disappointed to find not even the slightest hint of chocolate. This thing was all coffee and roasted malts. Not my favorite by a long shot.

(draft) Hazy golden in color, with a large head that shrank quickly. Fairly standard aroma and flavor for a Belgian of this style - so pretty good. There was a tiny bit of unexpected creaminess as it swirled in my mouth. The finish was a little drying, but not so much as to be obnoxious. A pretty good beer.

I guess I'm having the same problem this morning that I had a couple of Sundays ago. I think about the previous night, and writing an entry about it just seems too daunting a task.

So, that Saturday Beer Report from a couple of weeks ago never got written, and this Friday Beer report will probably end up being a brief one, though the night itself certainly wasn't brief.

First, while it's on my mind and while I'm sitting at my keyboard, two Saturdays ago, I went to Rich O's and was greeted with the question, "Did you see SassyGirl?"

I replied that I had not, and I was told that she was sitting out front.

I ran out front and, sure enough, there sat SassyGirl!

Yay!

She and JauntyGirl had come into town that day. She hadn't called to let me know, because she'd wanted to surprise me at Rich O's.

Well, that plan certainly worked. I was definitely surprised.

The timing of their visit was close to perfect, as Saturday through Tuesday were pretty stressful for me, and those girls provided a lovely distraction for several hours of those days.

Anyway, a bunch of other stuff has happened between then and last night, but it seems like it would be hard to write it all down. So, I won't. I'll just skip to last night.

I arrived at Rich O's at 6:00, that early hour determined by the fact the my sister Dina and her husband Kenny were there. We talked until 7:30 or so, when they had to get home for some basketball game or something.

I ate a pizza and sat at the island by myself. There was a couple sitting at the other end of the island, but I didn't talk to them much. Mostly, I just watched the door and waited for LaptopGirl.

She arrived at 9:00 or so. I got to help her fact-check an article she's writing. That was very cool. It's nice to feel useful.

We talked for a while until EuchreDude came and horned in on sat with us. I because invisible for an hour or so, until after they'd moved to the living room area. I followed mostly because to remain where I was would have felt slightly more awkward.

Eventually, I managed to get LaptopGirl's attention again. Mainly by plopping myself down on the coffee table two feet in front of her. We talked for another hour or so, but eventually she had to go home.

Oh yeah. Beer.

Let's see, my first beer was a yummy Schlenkerla Fastenbier (308), which has made it's brief Spring appearance. My next two beers were NABC Flat Tyre (749), though I did have a few sips of LaptopGirl's Moinette Brune. It was good, and the next time I have some I'll write a proper review.

That number for Flat Tyre above is an estimate, because LaptopGirl had several sips from my glass as she waited for news from her homefront.

Once LaptopGirl had gone, I went and sat at the kiddie table and talked to WomanRepellant for a while. Then NotHideousGirl came in. She was sad, because her cat had died. Poor kitty.

We somehow got to talking about karaoke, and she suggested going to Sluttopia. I called, and they said that they had a band instead.

Well, we ended up going to Sluttopia anyway. WomanRepellant followed us there, but most of the crowd just went to this Jack's bar closer to Rich O's.

NotHideousGirl became even more sad when, upon our arrival, she was told that one of her friends from there had died a couple of days ago.

The band sucked big hairy ones. I did my best to distract myself from the racket by drinking a Newcastle (9071) and talking to WomanRepellant and NotHideousGirl until they started kicking everyone out at 3:00 or so.

Then I came home.

Then, despite my staying up until after 4:00, my stupid circadian rhythm woke me up at 8:00. And here I sit, looking forward to the wonderful nap I'll get to take in a few hours.

Hmmm, I guess this wasn't as brief as I'd feared.

Last night was the first night of the NABC Gravity Head festival at Rich O's. The busiest night of the year, I'm sure. And the crowd certainly didn't disappoint. Only once, on the first night of Gravity Head a couple of years ago, have I ever seen so many people crammed into that space. It was standing room only, and even finding a stable spot to stand was a daunting task.

But, stand I did. For the first hour or so. I stood at the end of the bar, talking alternately with some dude I sort of recognized, and a half-dozen or so Gravity Head virgins who, for some reason, decided that I would make a good sommelier.

Oh yeah, FirstGirl was there. She's making a pendant out of my rock. She says that she's got it finished, and that I might get it back Saturday night. So I'm very excited about that.

My first beer was a new one for me.

Alvinne Podge Belgian Imperial Stout

(draft) Black in color, with a thin tan lacy head that faded quickly. Aroma of malts and light chocolate and dark fruits. Medium mouthfeel - not quite syrupy. The flavor is fairly tame, mostly malts and chocolate. I like this. Dangerous though, because the high ABV is hidden very well.

Dark Horse Scotty Karate Scotch Ale

(draft) Clear dark amber. Good long-lasting head. No detectable aroma. The mouthfeel is a little watery, and the flavor is mostly roasted malts. A decent beer, but kind of a waste of time. The alcohol was hidden very well, a little too well, I think.

The second interesting thing was that LaptopGirl emailed me to inquire about the crowd. Then a little bit later she came in, and the crowd faded into obscurity. LaptopGirl and I had a pretty weird conversation. Weird, but still good. Always good.

For my next beer, I had myself a Mad Bitch (296). It was very yummy, and it was the real Mad Bitch, not the oak-aged abomination that has been the only version available at Rich O's for the last million years. I enjoyed it a lot, in part because I knew that it would have to be my last beer of the night.

After LaptopGirl left, and the crowd rematerialized around me, I moved up to the kiddie table and talked to SpoonsGirl and her imaginary hot friend for a bit. I watched NotHideousGirl get up and leave without even a glance in my direction. Eventually I just sat and talked with SpoonsGirl about various stuff.

I went to White Castle and then came home at 12:30 or so.

There seems to me a misconception at Rich O's lately. I'm sure I've heard this particular misconception expressed before, but I've heard it twice within the last couple of weeks, and so it may be gaining popularity. At least among the cretins.

The first time, it was this one supremely obnoxious guy. He tried to play himself off like he was some kind of uber regular who'd been coming in since the dawn of time, but my personal opinion is that he was just trying to fit in. Perhaps compensate for a tiny penis. Anyway, the fucker was loud and overbearing and totally clueless. He actually seemed to think that people actually liked him. What a dumbass.

So, he spouted his bullshit, and I didn't pay much attention to it. I treated his words just as I'd been treating him all night. I ignored them.

Then, last night another person expressed the same misconception. And this particular person should know better. She's been coming in long enough to know better, and she's also smart enough to realize that we're supposed to be living in a society that's somewhat evolved from the days when being the loudest and/or the strongest brought power.

This particular misconception, and I think I've got the quote correct, goes like this:

Move your feet, lose your seat.

Steal someone's seat, and you're an asshole.

Anyway.

Last night was kind of boring. I only had a couple of beers. A Schlenkerla Marzen (2930) and an Upland Wheat (206). I spent most of the night on throne listening to everyone else talk and choking on cigar smoke. This one dude's hot sister told me that I smelled good, and I'm pretty sure that Ric Flair was there. Other than that, it was a dull night.

Last night wasn't as bad as I'd feared. So I'm thankful for that. But it still wasn't a particularly good night.

Rich O's proper seemed to be only about half-full, but that was an illusion. Every ostensibly empty seat was being saved, so there was no place to sit. I ended up going out to the special people room and sitting there like a dork for an hour or so, until MusicalYuppieDude texted me that this one weirdo had finally left and that there was a seat available.

So I sat on the sofa and enjoyed my second NABC Flat Tyre (593) of the night. At least I tried to enjoy it. My taste buds were still pretty messed-up.

Eventually, LaptopGirl emailed me that she was coming in, so that cheered me up some. When LaptopGirl arrived, HairDude gave up his seat at the kiddie table so she and I could sit together. We talked about various crap for an hour or so. It was nice to see her, as it had been a trillion years. I'd been hoping that she might want to split a pizza or something, because I was starving to death, but instead she went home.

I came home shortly afterwards, not quite finishing my third Flat Tyre (609).

Oh yeah, I got to hear this one story about a slut. I suppose it was an interesting story. Then I was talking to StupidGirl on the phone and she told me another story about another slut. What is it with all these sluts all of a sudden?

This damn flu has taken things to a very personal level, now. Twice.

The first time was Friday night, when LaptopGirl invited me to Rich O's and I had to decline. Yes, that sucked giant donkey dicks. First time in a million asstillion years that LaptopGirl has invited me to Rich O's, and I had to decline. Woe is me, indeed.

The second time this fucking flu got personal was about an hour ago. I'd forced myself into going to Rich O's, because I'm a stubborn asshole and also because it's Pizza Night. I saw, to my great surprise, that NABC Cone Smoker was back on tap.

Yay! My first beer in a week was going to be one of my all-time favorites!

But not so fast there, Speedy. The Cone Smoker (3177) tasted like shit. Not because there was anything wrong with it, but instead because there's something wrong with me. This damn flu has wreaked havoc on my taste buds. And so now even one of my favorite beers is unenjoyable.

And then my pizza tasted like crap, but I was expecting it by that point. Everything has tasted like crap since last Tuesday. I keep feeling like there's some magical combination of herbs and spices that will wake my mouth back up, and make things taste good again, but I just haven't found it yet.

I've been given the green light to return to work tomorrow, at least for a while. I've been sleeping between 18 and 22 hours a day for a week, and so I don't know if I'll be able to stay up long enough to put in a full day of work, but I'll give it a shot.

Early Friday evening I was, as is quite often the case lately, trying to convince myself to do something besides go to Rich O's. I was toying with the idea of maybe going to this Sergio's place I've heard about. I was thinking about maybe going down to our local casino on the river. I even thought about just staying home and watching some movies.

It's just that sometimes I don't get the point of that place, and I felt like I needed a break. Even if it's just to prove to myself that I can take that break. Plus, I'm on-call this week, and that always sucks the life force right out of me.

But then HatGirl texted me that she was on her way to Rich O's, so what little willpower I might have possessed evaporated like spit on a summer sidewalk.

I had to park on the far side of Mars. This was a bad sign. Another bad sign was that there was an unlikely abundance of huge 4WD trucks in the Rich O's lot, all with those lift kit things that make you need a ladder to get into them. It was like Rich O's had turned into a redneck bar. Or that there was a tiny-penis convention taking place. I wondered if they would try to block my entrance.

Inside, the place was beyond packed. I nodded and waved at several people who were sitting around the living room. MusicalYuppieDude, TremensGirl, PlantDude, PearlGirl, PearlGirl's hot friend, probably some other people.

HatGirl and LuckyFucker were sitting at the bar, the only two seats available in the place, so I went over and stood behind them.

HatGirl!

Yay!

After about a million years, two cool things happened. First, some chick left the bar, and I grabbed the seat, Second one of the bartenders caught a glimpse of me through the crowd and took my beer order.

After a bit longer, UPSDude left the bar, so I took my NABC Flat Tyre (463) and slid down closer to LuckyFucker and HatGirl.

After a bit longer, some strangers left the loveseat, and PlantDude left the throne, so we all moved down there.

The next couple of hours were quite pleasant, talking to HatGirl and LuckyFucker. He's finally going to make an honest woman out of her, or vice-versa. I'm happy for them, but I know that the world will mourn when HatGirl is officially and legally off the market.

By the time HatGirl and LuckyFucker left, I was on my third Flat Tyre (503), and I'd moved over to the kiddie table because HairDude had stolen the throne when I went to pee. That was okay, though, I'd been starting to feel a bit claustrophobic because of this one chick from the sofa.

So I was sitting at the kiddie table with TremensGirl. It was a strange conversation we were having. Like we were breaking up or something. But we weren't, I probably just felt primed for that activity because WeirdGirl and I had just broken up over the phone. Something about my priorities and hers not matching up often enough. Oh, well.

Anyway, then LaptopGirl came in and, after TremensGirl left, sat at the kiddie table with me. We proceeded to have a very nice conversation about all sorts of relevant stuff. I had a half-pint of the Flat Tyre (513) to close out the night.

Oh yeah. MusicalYuppieDude said that the band that ArtGirl and I are supposed to see tonight doesn't start until midnight. We'd been told before that they would start at 7:00 or 8:00. So I called ArtGirl to let her know, in case that would affect her plans. She hasn't called back. I'll call her this afternoon.

Oh yeah again. NotHideousGirl came in for a while. She missed HatGirl by about twenty minutes, and I bet she was disappointed by that. It was nice to see her.

It happened twice tonight. While I was watching my tivoed recording of American Idol and drinking a yummy Schlenkerla Urbock (320) and mentally kicking myself for, once again, letting my nap run on for far too long.

I don't even think I dreamed tonight. That's strange, because usually there's something about sleeping on my back, on my couch, that gets the old eyeballs moving rapidly. But not tonight, I don't think.

So, I was sitting there on my loveseat watching mostly bad singers, hoping for a good singer, or at least a hot girl to look at. During the boring parts of the show, I'd think about things. Do some navel-gazing, basically. And twice I was completely overwhelmed. I was completely overwhelmed and nearly incapacitated. The first time it was sadness that washed over me, the second time it was joy. Each time, it was perfect. Just incredible unblemished emotion. The first time a single sob left my lips. The second time, it was a laugh.

Tuesday, I talked to ArtGirl about experiencing every moment. Good, bad, or neutral, all moments of life should be lived and experienced in their entirety. Because they're not going to happen again. Ever. So, may as well pay attention to them. They might be important. They probably are important.

Tonight I had two perfect moments. One was good, the other was bad. I wouldn't trade either of them for anything. Perfect moments are our most precious gifts to ourselves.

Anyway, this all got me interested, so I did a search on my blog for the phrase perfect moment. I found one promise, one declaration, and one memory. I'd have thought there'd have been more. It certainly seems like the kind of thing I'd write about more often.

I think that the whole purpose of this entry was to put that link in. I think that I just wanted to prove that I used to be able to write decent drivel, even if I can't seem to do it anymore.

Sunday night, the pizzeria side of the NABC complex was open for some sporting event. Usually, they're closed on Sundays, so it was a special occasion, and I usually go. Just because it's such a rarity. I really couldn't care less about the sporting event.

Anyway, while I was on the way there, OddlyFamiliarGirl called. I'd texted her Friday night because I had a question about astrology. She's into that stuff, she's just not into returning text messages in a timely manner.

While I was talking, and driving, I happened to glance down at my odometer. I quickly said goodbye to OddlyFamiliarGirl and pulled off the road at the earliest opportunity.

The earliest opportunity, it turned out, wasn't quite early enough.

That there, even though it's really hard to see, is the odometer on my truck showing 100001 miles. I think it would have been cool to get a picture of it at exactly 100000 miles, but it wasn't meant to be.

Here's a close-up. Still hard to see, though.

Once at Sportstime The NABC Pizzeria, I had myself a couple pints of their Old Lightning Rod (490). The place was really dead. I guess nobody cared about the sporting event. Or maybe they were all at some cool party to which I wasn't invited.

So they closed the place down at 7:30 or so. I went over to Tucker's and had some cheesesticks and a glass of Guinness (1783). I'd been thinking about having a steak, but I changed my mind for some reason.

And that was Sunday. Pretty exciting, huh?

Monday wasn't anything special except that while I was at Rich O's The NABC Public House, waiting for my pizza and having a yummy NABC Old Lightning Rod (510), OddlyFamiliarGirl and NotHideousGirl came in for a bit. It had been a million jillion gazillion years since I'd seen OddlyFamiliarGirl. It had only been a couple of days since I'd last seen NotHideousGirl, but it always seems longer when it's her. I just thought I'd better mention seeing them, lest I get into trouble for some reason.

Then tonight it was really warm, so I sat out on my swing and enjoyed a Schlenkerla Urbock (286) and smiled a lot. I thought about all of the times I'd sat out there and thought about sad things, and about how much happier I am now. It really doesn't take much to make me happy. Even the tiniest things can do it, especially when the tiniest things are so incredibly huge to me.

Somehow, I managed to get magically drunk last night. I have a theory about this, and I'll write about it in a bit, but first I should have a disclaimer.

The lines between reality and fantasy and imagination are blurred almost beyond distinction, at least as far as last night goes. So you should probably treat this entry as fiction, just to be safe.

The place was almost empty. This contrasted in a stunningly beautiful way with the madness that Friday night had been. Dina was on the sofa, all by her lonesome like a weirdo or something. I sat on the throne and ordered an NABC Flat Tyre (343). Dina and I bullshitted with each other for an hour or so, then she left to go meet the chick, and I found myself sitting all by my lonesome like a weirdo or something.

A couple of people drifted in and out of the area. They'd come in to smoke, and I could tell that they were all wondering who the weirdo sitting by himself was.

Eventually, the regular Saturday night crowd started to form. This one cute blonde accused me of being 23. That's actually starting to get a little tiresome.

Oh yeah, when I was bored because I was in the living room area all by myself, I texted AlliGirl and WeirdGirl and VigilanteGirl. VigilanteGirl texted back asking who I was. I said never mind, and she called me. I reminded her that she'd given me her number. She said that she would call me for directions to Rich O's, but I never believed that for even a second.

TremensGirl came in and sat on the sofa where Dina had been. I think this was about when I ordered another Flat Tyre (383). I started getting emails from LaptopGirl, hinting that she might come in.

This one chick, who kept coming in to smoke, took one look at TremensGirl and I talking and announced, "You two should date."

So that was weird, how quickly she picked up on our vibe. I said that TremensGirl and I have massive crushes on each other but that things are complicated, and I left it at that.

Then, I had a Schlenkerla Marzen (2828), which was yummy.

After a million more years and a few more emails, LaptopGirl finally showed up. At that point I pretty much started ignoring everyone else in the room, because LaptopGirl and I somehow found ourselves having an actual relevant conversation. People kept trying to interrupt us and/or worm their way in, but for the most part I managed to keep it just between the two of us. It was very nice.

At one point, I looked up, and NotHideousGirl had managed to sneak in. Of course I talked to her as well, but I kept returning to my conversation with LaptopGirl.

I think this was about the point where I got magically drunk. Please note that I'd had three weak beers, over the course of about four hours.

Some dude bought a round of drinks for everyone. I didn't want a whole beer for myself, so I just ended up drinking most of LaptopGirl's free Guinness (1761).

It seemed like everyone left at about the same time, but I stuck around and had a couple Diet Cokes. And I wished that LaptopGirl and I would have shared that pizza we'd discussed, because the room was really spinning. Food would have been nice, but the kitchen was closed.

I ended up taking a cab home from Rich O's. That almost never happens, because it's almost never necessary.

I said, back at the beginning of this novel, that I had a theory about how I'd managed to get so drunk on so little alcohol. Well, my theory is that the alcohol had very little to do with it. I got to have an actual relevant conversation with someone very important to me. This was something that I'd waited years to do. My theory is that I got drunk on that surreal series of moments.

So there.

For the most part, I think it was a pretty boring night, at least until I left Rich O's. It was very crowded. It was very loud. I talked to some people. I drank some beer. I got groped. I think that the most unusual thing about my time at Rich O's last night was that I received the most unsubtle text message ever from this one girl.

I ended up having a pint of NABC Old Lightning Rod (450) and two pints of NABC Flat Tyre (343). All were yummy.

WeirdGirl kept having to work later and later, as usual. So I walked over to this Jack's bar when Rich O's closed. I sat with some of the Rich O's people for a while and had a Diet Coke. Then, out of the blue, my friend Eric called. He was over at Sluttopia, so I went there for a while. It was cool to see Eric and some of his friends from his high school class. Sluttopia didn't live up to its new name last night, though. It was pretty much a sausagefest. They had a band there. I bet if they'd had karaoke there'd have been more girls.

Then at about 2:00 I went over to wait for WeirdGirl to get off work.

This entry, such as it is, brought to you by:

Bluegrass Russian Imperial Porter

(bottle) Pours black, with a minimal tan head that faded quickly. Light aroma of roasted malts and chocolate. Flavor was pretty much the same - roasted malt and chocolate. The finish was a little drying, but otherwise the 11% ABV is hidden very well. A very good beer.

WeirdGirl and I slept until after 10:00. We probably would have slept even later, except my sister called with some disconcerting news. Everything, in the end, so to speak, seems to have turned out well. So that's cool, but it did make for several hours of at least slight trepidation.

After WeirdGirl left, I settled into what's become my normal Sunday routine. Doing laundry. Shooting pool. Watching movies. Glaring at my phone.

But that last thing, I think I did more out of habit than out of any real sense of anticipation. I certainly never expected it to make it's little woo-hoo noise. And, of course, it never did. I was oddly okay with its silence, though. Just like I was oddly okay with the silence than ran through my head all day today.

The silence from my phone was familiar. The silence in my head? Not so much, but still, okay.

See, I don't know what happened, but I have to assume that there must have been a good reason for it. I stated my case, for whatever that might be worth. Nothing changed. So I jumped into my time machine. I was right, it's not so bad.

Anyway, some things are funny to me. They have to be funny, lest they be tragic. And I've got enough tragedy, thank you very much.

The thought that a pretty face, or a sexy body, or a friendly personality - the thought that any or all of these things might be enough for me - that thought borders on hilarious.

There's always something missing, it seems. That thing which is intangible and all-important. That's the thing for which the need permeates me. I've found something to fill that need once, twice, maybe three times. I may never find it again. That would be sad, I think.

Desire is more important than satisfaction. Because you can never really have the latter without the former. If you try, it inevitably feels hollow and empty. It feels like a lie, and for good reason.

WeirdGirl and I talked about this stuff for a while, our breathing still synchronized, in the late hours before sleep took us. We've discussed it before, and it's starting to sink in, the things that I say. She's finally starting to understand me, and her understanding will probably signal the end of this. Whatever this is.

The place was pretty freaking packed. I'd been expecting a big crowd. Friday nights are always crowded, plus they were having another art show out in the special people section. The entire place was packed, often standing-room-only, for most of the night.

But that was okay. MusicalYuppieDude gave me a seat on the sofa when I first arrived, so I didn't have to stand. Also at least half of the non-regulars in the crowd were girls in various stages of hotness. Most of them were hippies, but hot hippies. There also seemed to be a very unlikely proportion of blonde girls.

When I first arrived, I waited in vain for a bartender to make his way to me. I ended up going out to look at the art for a while. As in most art shows, there was some good stuff and some bad stuff. It's all subjective. I didn't see any paintings by either MisunderstoodGirl or NotHideousGirl, so that was a little disappointing.

They also had a small beer stand set up at the art show entrance. On the way back to Rich O's proper, I glanced at the labels on the taps.

Cone Smoker!

Yay!

I guess they'd saved some just for the art show.

So, guess what beer I had.

Guess!

Cone Smoker!

Yay!

It was only a 12-oz pour, into a plastic cup, and it took about 15 minutes to pour it, but it was still yummy (3157).

When I got back to Rich O's proper, I had a brief conversation with LaptopGirl, who I hadn't seen before but who was sitting at the kiddie table with some guy I don't like. The conversation was indeed brief. It consisted of her saying, "Hi," followed by me saying, "Hi."

Oh, how the mighty have, once again, fallen.

My next beer, because I didn't want to have to wait so long for another Cone Smoker, was an NABC Flat Tyre (153). In fact, because of some ordering confusion, I was presented with two pints of Flat Tyre at the same time. So that's all I had for the rest of the night (173).

The group in the living room talked about various stuff for a while, and at one point we found ourselves playing euchre. Actually, we all spent the night trying to teach euchre to this one dude. He didn't have a nickname before, and I'm going to pick HairDude for no particular reason. Also playing/teaching was SmooshDude, and PlantDude.</