Wednesday, October 31, 2012
posted by dave at 9:09 AM in category daily

I think I'm just going to go ahead and miss TheGirl and TheKid today,

It's Halloween and, if things had turned out differently, we'd be enjoying some trick-or-treating together.

Tomorrow I'll go back to bottling things up, but today I think I'll be sad.

I've earned this right.

Friday, August 17, 2012
posted by dave at 12:26 AM in category daily

I have this desire, more than an inkling but less than a resolution, to write in this damn thing more often. Like maybe even every day.

Problem is, on some days nothing really happens. Like today. I had a boring all-day meeting at work. I came home. I took a nap. I got up and watched Big Brother.

It's on days like this that I would like to be able to reach into my brain and pull out a topic. Even if it's not timely, or relevant. I have such topics, waiting in the wings so to speak, I really do. But I fear that they're all stupid.

So, on days like today, I might write an entry like this, and try to be satisfied that I at least wrote something.

Sunday, July 15, 2012
posted by dave at 9:39 AM in category daily

Friday night CornerGirl made yummy lasagna for dinner. Then Saturday she made me take home the leftover lasagna, so I nuked it for dinner.

Now that I've had her yummy lasagna for two straight days, I think I'm spoiled for life.

Thursday, July 5, 2012
posted by dave at 10:40 AM in category daily

CornerGirl is off today and tomorrow because she's mean and clearly wants me to ask LaptopGirl to lunch one of these days.

But that's not the funny part.

The funny part started last year, when we went to Harvest Homecoming and two different people saw her with me and thought she was HatGirl and she got all mad about it.

Then this morning CornerGirl went to get her hairs done, and some girl came into the salon place and thought she was HatGirl.

Well, I think it's funny anyway.

Friday, December 2, 2011
posted by dave at 2:41 PM in category daily, drink

See, there's no segue at all. I've tried to think of one. A way to smoothly and eloquently transition from woe is me I miss LaptopGirl to anything else. Anything at all, really.

I've got a lot of topics, but I've never had a segue.

Oh well. This will have to do.

Anyway...

Wednesday after work, because I'm stupid, I went to Sportstime (AKA The Weird Side). Just in case, you know? Last time I went there on a Wednesday was, um, interesting.

While there, I realized that I was there for a stupid reason, so I texted OddlyFamiliarGirl to give me a non-stupid reason for being in that area. Like maybe we could meet at stupid Jack's1 or something. Kind of a virtual Sunday.

Well, she said she could-ish meet me, then she flaked, then she said she could meet me after all, but by that time I was home already. We ended up saying we'd do it Thursday night instead.

First thing Thursday morning, OddlyFamiliarGirl texted to flake again. I didn't let this bother me, because there was plenty of time left for an unflaking. I remained confident.

After work I went straight to stupid Jack's and texted OddlyFamiliarGirl. As I'd expected and hoped, she unflaked and said she'd be there at 6:00.

As I had over an hour to kill, I grabbed a table and shot pool for an hour or so. I was using my Predator SP, the one I bought in Omaha in 2004 and just had shipped to me. I kinda like it, but the main reason I had it with me was because it's the only cue I feel halfway good about leaving in my car.

Anyway, as women are so wont to do, OddlyFamiliarGirl was late. But, as most women are totally not wont to do, she texted me to let me know that she'd be late.

So I killed some time talking to this one dude who's also an outcast from Rich O's, and to this other dude who's pretty much an outcast from society.

Once OddlyFamiliarGirl showed up, we pretty much just did our usual thing. Sat and talked and drank and smoked. Fun and educational. She is trying to help me with this one conundrum so I don't fuck it up and make it even worse than it already is. I think she can help. OddlyFamiliarGirl is really smart and stuff.

Also, that one girl was really hot. I did an admirable job, I think, of pretending to ignore her while I continued my conversation with my friend. Had that girl been wearing glasses, however, then all bets would have been off.

I had myself a couple GumballHeads, then I switched to Diet Coke for the rest of the evening. I'm such a lightweight.

Then, around 10:00, I came back home and eventually went to bed.

It was a nice night.

1 - I don't think I've ever really explained why I call the place stupid Jack's. Instead of, you know, Jack's, which is its real name. It's stupid Jack's because I used to go there to be closer to LaptopGirl's apartment, in case she invited me over. It wasn't stupid Jack's at the time - it was all efficient and shit - but once the invitations stopped it became stupid. This is not the same reasoning behind the name stupid Bearno's when referring to the Floyds Knobs location of that chain.

Thursday, July 28, 2011
posted by dave at 12:04 AM in category daily

Sometimes, I feel like I could stay out there forever. Not a care in the world. The only sounds, the ubiquitous crickets, and her cat purring at my feet. The only sights, the stars far above, or the occasional car passing by. The cool yet elusive breeze that feels oh so good on my skin that even my minimal clothing seems excessive.

Memories eventually intrude, though. The feelings find me. The regrets torment me. And so I come back inside, and I go to bed. Sometimes, I even manage to sleep.

Thursday, June 9, 2011
posted by dave at 11:27 AM in category daily

The last time CartGirl was at my house, she sat on the couch while I sat on the loveseat. Buddy watched her cautiously from the coffee table, probably in case she had food in her purse. Nugget, of course, hid under the couch and made sure his will was up-to-date. After a couple of hours, CartGirl left, and Buddy jumped onto the couch, curled up right where she had been sitting, and went to sleep.

That was sweet.

I've been wanting, for a long time, to write an entry - or even a series of entries - describing sweet as I see it. Regarding girls, not cats, though the example above certainly fits my definition of the word. Or at least one of my definitions. I seem to have several. I find a different one every time I rummage through my head.

Eventually, I hope to write definitively about what sweet means to me. This is not that time, but eventually.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011
posted by dave at 5:46 AM in category daily, weather

I kinda feel cruddy this morning. I slept too long, for one thing. My alarm went off at 4:00, and then I reset it to go off at 5:00. I didn't need that extra hour. I also didn't have any particular reason to get up at 4:00, though.

I hope it's just too much sleep that's got me feeling cruddy. I hope it's not allergies coming on. I have, after all, been sleeping with my windows open for the last several weeks.

I also feel bad for venting yesterday. But I'll get over it. Stuff needed to be said, and this is a better place than most.

Talked to StupidGirl for a bit last night. Things are looking much better for her. She's accepted responsibility for what happened, and they're giving her another chance. I'm so glad, even though it means she won't be coming here anytime soon. It really sucked when she was so sad and I couldn't do anything about it or even give her a hug.

Nugget is still hanging in there. Poor kitty is so skinny now.

This is shaping up to be the hottest week of the year so far. Not having air conditioning is pretty rough, but it's not as bad as I'd feared. The whole-house fan really does a lot of good. The main problem is that, because of the humidity, everything in my house feels like it's coated in a layer of slime. Gross, I know.

I guess that's it for now. Time to take a shower and go into work.

Friday, May 27, 2011
gas
posted by dave at 10:23 AM in category daily

So I've been driving my Intrepid to work all week. Partly because it's got an automatic transmission, and therefore it's easier to drive in traffic, but mostly because my truck was almost out of gas and I was too lazy to put gas in it.

Well, this morning I saw that my Intepid was almost out of gas, so I decided to go ahead and drive the truck to work. Imagine my surprise when I got in the truck and saw that it had a full tank of gas.

That was really nice of the gas fairy to fill my truck up for me when I wasn't looking.

Anyway, gas is killing me with the new job. Not only is gas at least 50% more expensive that it was when I worked downtown, my commute is at least three times as long. On a full tank of gas, I can make it to work and back four times. I'm spending around $250 for gas every month. I used to spend around $50.

I need to find a car that gets better mileage. One that I can pay cash for. I haven't had to make a car payment since 2001, and I don't have any desire to make any more.

Sunday, May 22, 2011
posted by dave at 6:01 PM in category daily

Okay, so you're working at White Castle and a customer (my lovely self) comes in and orders, and I quote, "Five cheeseburgers without pickles, please."

You take my money and I wait. After a while, I get my food and drive home.

First of all, your life sucks.

Second of all, my polite request for "without pickles" was not code for "Please sneak a pickle into one of the cheeseburgers so that I might be lulled into a false sense of security by four pickleless cheeseburgers and therefore bite into the aforementioned pickle when I'm least expecting it."

Thank you for your time, and for your consideration of this matter.

Friday, May 13, 2011
posted by dave at 1:40 PM in category daily

Remember when being in the military could be seen as an indication of something good? Maturity, perhaps, or maybe even honesty?

Me, too, but I just found out that the kid who slammed into my Monte Carlo (a soldier in the Army) lied his ass off to his insurance about what happened. He told them that he wasn't speeding, and that he didn't run a red light. He said that I had ran the red light in front of him.

Such bullshit.

That kid was so damn apologetic and respectful after he hit me, and now he's gone and pulled this crap. So his insurance isn't going to pay for any of the damage to my car. My dad's car.

If this kid is any indication of what military people are like these days, then I'm really glad my own military days are long behind me.

Monday, April 18, 2011
posted by dave at 2:10 PM in category daily

I don't believe in fate. What I believe in is timing. Sometimes, the latter can look an awful lot like the former.

Yesterday was our monthly maintenance day at work. I had a pretty light list of things to do. I got to work in time for the 1:00 start.

I had two hardware technicians show up. One, to replace a failed disk, and the other to look into an unrecognized system board. The disk replacement went quickly and without incident.

We had to wait about 25 minutes before we could look at the system board. The backups on that server were running long, and we needed to make sure they completed.

Once we got the go-ahead, the system board was fixed in about 30 minutes.

Next I had a few patches to install on a couple servers. This took about 45 minutes.

Then I spent about an hour waiting for our database administrator to start his stuff up and check everything out. He finished this around 3:50.

At 4:00, I spent a few minutes talking to my boss, and then I left.

Meanwhile, there was a young Army guy who was having a day of his own, I don't know any of the details of his day. Perhaps he was running late, and therefore speeding. Or maybe he was distracted by something. Maybe he had to pee. Maybe he was speeding just because he was young and that's what young people do. Whatever.

At 4:10, after my light turned green, I pulled from Bunsen Parkway onto Hurstborne, preparing to turn left. Also at 4:10, the Army kid was barreling down Hurstborne. He saw the light turn red in front of him, he saw several crossing cars in front of him, and he tried to stop.

He ended up stopping by plowing into the front of my Monte Carlo. Spun me about 30 degrees, I figure.

If any one of a dozen things that I did yesterday had taken just a few seconds more or less time, I wouldn't have been in that intersection at 4:10. If any one of an unknown number of things had happened differently for that kid yesterday, he wouldn't have been speeding toward that intersection at 4:10.

But things happened the way they happened, and they took as much time as they took, and so we were both there, in the same place, at the same time.

Crunch.

It's hard not to think about how many things had to play out just right for that accident to happen. I was the second car at my light. If I'd been the first, then the car behind me would have been hit. Or if the kid had started to slow down a half-second later, he'd have hit the car in front of me. He was definitely going to hit another car. There was no doubt of that. He was going too fast. There were too many cars in front of him.

If he'd started to slow down a half-second sooner, he'd have smacked into the door of my car, right where I was sitting.

It could have been a lot worse.

I don't believe in fate. Fate is a silly concept. A way for cowards to shift blame, avoiding consequences for their own actions, and a way for weaklings to hide from their own responsibilities and potential.

I don't believe in it, but sometimes it seems pretty damn believable.

Saturday, April 9, 2011
posted by dave at 4:42 AM in category daily

I was looking through some old draft entries, and I ran across this gem. Everything you ever wanted to know about the first decade of my life:

1965: I was born. My hobbies included drooling and pooping.

1966: Late in the year I got a sister. Little did I know that it would take me another 20 years to come to grips with that fact.

1967: I learned how to call my grandmother on the phone, so I did that every 10 seconds or so.

1968: My hobbies included being a brat.

1969: Dad had us watch some dudes walking on the moon. I don't think anything else happened that year.

1970: I walked to kindergarten and back every day. My hobbies included running through sliding-glass doors, cutting the shit out of myself, and giving my mother gray hairs.

1971: We moved to a new house. I started first grade.

1972: I discovered that girls were good for other things besides throwing dirt at them. I forget what those other things are.

1973: Late in the year Mom brought home another sister. I hid in a tree because I'd wanted a brother.

1974: Tornadoes!!!!

1975: I turned 10, so I was officially a man.

posted by dave at 4:39 AM in category daily

This has been going on too long.

See, what I do is I write these entries in Outlook Express. Just like I'm writing an email. That way I can get it spell-checked before I copy and paste it into my blogging software. My blogging software doesn't check spelling. Weird, I know.

Anyway, what's been going on too long is that I've been sitting here with my fingers poised over the keyboard, my eyes staring at a blank email-composition window, for oh about a gazillion years now.

Waiting for inspiration, you know.

It's not coming, though. I give up. There must have been some misunderstanding, because I was sure that inspiration and I had an appointment for this morning.

Friday, April 1, 2011
posted by dave at 5:11 AM in category daily

I guess I'm feeling better now than I was Wednesday. I still feel a little subdued, though. Just a combination of a lot of things. Not really feeling very motivated to do anything because it would probably be a waste of time. I dunno, that's just how I feel nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Weird, my keyboard just broke. Luckily I have a million keyboards lying around, so I was able to get working again.

Too bad I forgot what I was going to write about. It was gonna be brilliant, I bet.

Saturday, March 12, 2011
posted by dave at 4:24 AM in category daily

Tonight CartGirl and I spent time on facebook, looking for people. My old girlfriends, her old boyfriends. First loves, last loves, friends and enemies, people like that. Just getting to know more about each other, hanging out together, having fun. Our circles overlap in a few unexpected places, that's for sure.

One of her ex-boyfriends was already on my friends list. That was weird. CartGirl says they parted amicably, so I'm not going to be weird about it the next time I see my friend.

We looked up my ex-wife's kids, who used to be my kids if you use a particular definition and squint a certain way.

I always thought I'd recognize them, if I saw them again. But I was wrong. I looked at pictures of strangers tonight. She looks like a more beautiful version of her mother now, not like the awkward toddler I remember. And he is really tall and old-looking. though the smile is the same.

I think about them every now and then, not too often, though. The appropriate amount, I think. I expect they've had a good life so far. I hope so.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011
posted by dave at 7:53 PM in category daily

So, guys can be gross.

I'll stop for a few seconds to let that sink in...

I'm pretty sure that even the most innocent girls reading this journal will know what a urinal is. Guys pee into them. While standing up. Go ahead and be jealous, we're all jealous of your ability to have multiple orgasms.

The civilized way to use a urinal is that a guy will walk up to one, unzip his pants, extract the appropriate appendage, urinate, re-tuck the aforementioned appendage, zip his pants, then walk away.

That's the civilized way to do it. Of course, there are minor variations of style. Some of us, for example, need two hands during the extraction phase, while others don't need any. Some guys will stand at the urinal for minutes, perhaps imagining waterfalls as they pray for their flow to begin before they die of starvation, while others can just let loose and it's off to the races. Some guys will issue a strong and steady stream, yet others get festive with a multi-directional spray borne of prostate problems.

But those differences are all minor, and irrelevant. The important steps remain the same.

1. Step up to the urinal.
2. Extract your junk.
3. Do your business.
4. Repack your junk.
5. Leave the urinal.

Some guys, who I will call disgusting assholes, like to mix things up a bit. Most often, they'll turn away from the urinal with their junk still flopping around. They'll walk away from the urinal while still repacking and then zipping their pants.

Less commonly, a disgusting asshole will sometimes begin unzipping and extracting the instant he enters the restroom, when he's still several feet away from the privacy of the urinal.

Here's a little secret: If you're a guy in the restroom and there's a guy leaving the urinal with his flag waving around, you're going to look. You're not going to want to look, but you're still going to do it. So then you're the guy who looked at another guy's junk, and there's not a thing you can do to erase that stigma.

Today at work I went into the restroom only to be presented with a sight of another guy's junk, as he walked from the urinal to the sink while repacking and zipping.

Although somewhat shaken by that sight, I still managed to do my business the civilized way. Then, while I was washing my hands at the sink, I was presented with the other disgusting asshole action. A guy came into the restroom, already half undressed and seeming to barely make it to the urinal.

In a single trip to the restroom, I'd experienced a double whammy.

I did get over these traumas, but I shouldn't have had to. Neither event should have happened, and they most definitely shouldn't have happened within 30 seconds of each other.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011
posted by dave at 9:57 PM in category daily

I was thinking about something earlier today, and then I thought that a good opening line for an entry would be, "I was thinking about something earlier today."

And I got so excited about my fancy new opening line that I totally forgot what I'd been thinking about.

I'm easily impressed. I think we all know that by now. And easily distra oh look a kitty!

Anyway.

I say that a lot. Anyway, I mean. I guess it's a little classier than saying um all the time.

But not by much.

Monday, February 14, 2011
posted by dave at 12:29 AM in category daily

I wrote this five years ago today. I guess it's stood the test of time pretty well.

I still think about the same girl on this day, that's for sure.

Everybody's knocking Valentine's Day.

It's The Big Thing, being all noncommercial and shit. Plus, some people think that they're being nonconformists by ripping on this holiday, so that makes them feel special.

Well, I just want to say, even though I haven't felt this way every year, I just want to say that I wish I had a special someone with whom I could exchange little tokens of affection and maybe take out to a nice dinner.

So what if it's become a Hallmark holiday? That doesn't erase its underlying message. That doesn't mean you have to stop observing it. That doesn't have to mean that your feelings for that special person are superficial as well.

Get over yourselves with your jadedness and your superiority.

I wish I had someone to share this day with, and I bet most of you, that don't already have someone, I bet most of you do as well.

Friday, January 21, 2011
posted by dave at 9:20 AM in category daily

I'm hopeful that this will be a nice weekend.

It should be, except for the funeral Saturday and then having to work Sunday afternoon. The nights should be good, especially tonight. I get to meet her daughter. I hope she likes me, and isn't a brat.

Monday, January 17, 2011
posted by dave at 8:20 AM in category daily

Happy birthday to my dear friend RockGirl!

Friday, January 14, 2011
posted by dave at 5:58 PM in category daily

So, on Monday I called and yelled at my trash pickup people because they hadn't picked up my trash since November. After they said they were sorry and they'd make sure to get it this week, I also asked for a second container since I now had a big backlog because of them. I've got at least 20 bags of trash in my garage.

Today was trash day.

When I got home, I found that they didn't get my fucking trash again. But they did drop off a second container.

What's wrong with those people?

And I can't even call them to yell at them because they're closed until Monday. Actually they're probably closed Monday because it's a holiday for some people.

Grrr.

Friday, January 7, 2011
posted by dave at 8:21 AM in category daily

I have to be careful. This is a fairly pivotal point in my life.

I'm in real danger, I think, of reverting back to how I was in my 30s. I wasted my 30s. I felt safe and secure and fucking content, but I wasted them. It wasn't until 2003 that things changed. That I changed.

These last several years might not have been safe, or secure, but I was never bored. And there were quite a few moments of genuine happiness in there, sprinkled atop the misery. And the hope, the hope was beyond awesome.

I miss the hope.

Amyway, this last week, for the first time in a very long time, I've felt safe. Except for the occasional bullshit which I hope will eventually taper off to nothing, I can live my life without fear.

Problem is, I don't think it's really living. Lack of fear is one thing. Lack of hope or ambition or desire is a totally different thing. Contentedness is not an option for me. Not anymore. I can't let it happen.

I want joy, or I want misery.

I do want to live. I just need a new definition, I think. New meaning.

On the other hand, I was a much better pool player back then.

Thursday, December 23, 2010
posted by dave at 8:16 AM in category daily

Happy Birthday to HatGirl!

HatGirl!

Yay!

Thursday, December 9, 2010
posted by dave at 8:06 AM in category daily

I hate it when I'm misunderstood.

I suppose most people are like that. I especially hate it when that misunderstanding stems from emotions and motivations arbitrarily assigned to me by others.

I mean, I'm an open book. So what's the reason for all the guesswork and the assumptions?

Anyway.

Disappointment and resignation. That's it.

No anger, or malice, or disgust. Certainly no hatred.

I'm disappointed in how things turned out, but I'm resigned to the fact that they did turn out this way.

There's no mystery. There's no hidden agenda. There's no scheming.

It's all pretty boring, actually. So maybe some people should find something else to fuel their fires.

Monday, December 6, 2010
posted by dave at 8:31 AM in category daily

I have no idea why, but I've managed to convince myself that I'm going to hear from them both today, and they're both going to be nice.

I'm actually sitting here excited about it.

Where did these stupid expectations come from?

I don't get it at all.

Very weird.

I'm going to end up feeling very disappointed later.

In other news, I forget what paragraphs are for.

I also seem to like ending sentences with prepositions.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010
posted by dave at 11:14 AM in category daily

bewildered
-adjective
1. completely puzzled or confused; perplexed.

That's the best word I can come up with for what I feel when I think about this.

It's just so damn, damn bewildering.

My "crimes" as far as I can tell, have been to (a) get excited about seeing my friend, and then (b) become disappointed when I don't get to see her.

You know what? I can deal with it. I feel bad that she can't, and I feel sad that she won't, and I even feel a little mad about being dismissed like this.

But, mostly, I just feel bewildered.

Now, I absolutely don't want to sound like I'm not accepting blame here. Because I am. I definitely fucked up. I just don't think I fucked up enough to lose my best friend.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010
posted by dave at 8:08 AM in category daily

I like sitting in my car before work. Weird, perhaps, but it's nice there. It's the closest thing I have anymore to sitting on my swing or in my garage and thinking.

One of these years I'll have to get my swing fixed. It pisses me off that I haven't been able to get anyone to help me with it. I guess I'll have to tackle it myself, and probably manage to burn down my house in the process.

That would suck.

Another thing I've noticed is that I don't really want any distractions when I'm trying to sit and think. It's a little surprising, given the inordinate amount of time I spend glaring at my phone during those times, But I don't think that counts. I love the emails and the texts.

What I've noticed is that my time in my car is a lot more enjoyable if I leave my radio off. And, while I thought it was cool for a while to have Picklepie keeping me company in my garage, he ended up being just as much of a nuisance as a pleasure. I mean, I couldn't really do any serious navel-gazing if I had to stop and pet him every ten seconds.

I dunno. I'm feeling a little writey today.

Monday, November 22, 2010
posted by dave at 5:49 AM in category daily

Happy birthday to my sister Dina!

Thursday, November 18, 2010
posted by dave at 1:17 PM in category daily

I had this brilliantstupid idea to relieve some boredom by writing an entry. The one I was going to write was that I was going to pick November 18th - I picked today's date because it seemed as good as any - for the last several years, and say what I was doing and thinking and so on.

It was a terrible idea. I've been too fucking sad for too fucking long, and I don't want to write about that anymore, but that's all there is.

Sunday, November 14, 2010
posted by dave at 3:31 PM in category daily

I know I know, things change all the time. What I say one day might not be truth on the next day. But, this is my journal, and I'm going to make use of it.

This is what is true today and this is what's been eating at me.

I fucked up. I've managed to lose the two most important people in my life. One was my best friend, and the other was most definitely not a friend but she was something. Something both above and below friendship. I truly fear that I'll never hear from either of them again, and quite frankly that's probably the fate that I deserve.

And just because the loss of one of these people might have been overdue and necessary and perhaps even desired, that doesn't lessen the sting at all. Losing her stings like a bitch, and the only thing that's keeping me somewhat afloat is the feeling that this will be the last time I have to go through this.

Because there will never be another like her. I won't let that happen.

And the other one I've lost? My true and faithful friend? Well, my brain just cannot process that particular loss. Every time I try to think about losing her it's like a safety valve somewhere in my head snaps shut.

What's true today may not be true tomorrow, but today the truth is that I feel more alone than I ever have before, and it's my own fucking fault.

Friday, November 12, 2010
posted by dave at 2:36 PM in category daily

Welcoming even the slightest distractions these days, I couldn't help but notice this.

We have a weirdo at work. One of several, actually, but this particular weirdo is at least being original about it.

For one thing, he spends a lot of time standing in his cubicle. His job is to sit at a computer and talk on the phone, but he chooses to stand. A lot. His head poking above the cubicle walls always reminds me of prairie dogs sticking up out of their holes.

Anyway, this morning I was in the breakroom and the weirdo came in. He stopped in front of the Coke machine, whipped out his phone, and took a picture of the machine. Then, he left the room.

So, thanks, weirdo standing picture-taking dude! You managed to distract me quite well this morning.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010
posted by dave at 4:56 AM in category daily

There was an unanticipated side-effect of writing that drivel yesterday. I really should have anticipated it, though. It's happened before, it's just been a long time.

The ability to just vent a little, albeit in written form, did wonders for my mood. There have been so many things I've wanted to say over the years, but I've stayed relatively silent.

That's still going to happen, in most cases.

Right now, I'm battling on two fronts. It kinda sucks.

In one case, I want resolution like I want to breathe. In the other case, I want it to be over, one way or another, no matter the cost. I may not get what I want in either case. Like I said, it kinda sucks.

Anyway, people will say whatever it takes to make themselves feel better about themselves regarding a bad situation. Even when they have to lie to themselves to say it. Making the other person the "bad" one is far more important than truth and personal responsibility.

Monday, November 8, 2010
posted by dave at 7:54 PM in category daily, movies

This is just a quick story about how my brain works. If you nod your head while watching this, you must know me pretty well.


(This is a flash video that I don't feel like converting and uploading to YouTube. It was pretty boring anyway.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010
eek
posted by dave at 4:21 PM in category daily

So I was coming back into my building at work. Right when I started to open the door, a young girl screamed at the top of her lungs.

This was weird because I usually don't have quite that effect on young girls. Not quite.

After I'd had four or five heart attacks, and she'd probably peed her pants a little, she said that I'd startled her by going for the door at the same time as her.

At least that's what she said. So maybe it wasn't my hideous appearance.

Mum
posted by dave at 9:32 AM in category daily

I just didn't see how any good could come of it. I had no desire to be seen as yet another orbiter, engaged in stupid subtle pissing contests and territorial displays.

There's just no point anyway. The winner was preemptively decided a long time ago.

Anyone but Dave is the fucking winner, okay?

I get it. It took me a while, but I get it.

There are lines that I will no longer cross, and I'm drawing new lines all over the place. I think that my hope is that eventually these lines will stack to form a new wall around me.

Meanwhile, I've got this damn thing staring me in the face.

Yesterday, on facebook, a group was formed consisting of former journalspace.com members. When that site died a couple of years ago, those of us in that community were left to scatter. Now a bunch of them are on facebook and they've formed a new group. I'm not really sure why. Just to see who's still alive, I guess. And to find out what everyone's real names are. On JS almost everybody used handles instead of names. I went by barenada for one blog and anonymousme for another.

I joined the group yesterday, having been invited by NakedGirl. A few people remembered me, and I remembered a few more. Weird to see them posting by their real names. Anyway...

Found ya! Yay. Have to find out what happened to that relationship with the woman, who you desparately loved, but missed the chance with!
And now I don't have the slightest idea how to respond. So I'll probably say nothing.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010
posted by dave at 1:35 PM in category daily

Pictures
I used to have a shitload of pictures up in my cubicle at work. Then, when they let me go, I hung the same pictures up in my office during a consulting gig. When that engagement was over, well I don't have a clue what I did with my pictures. Most, if not all, of these pictures could simply be reprinted, but I keep thinking I'll find them. They're in a white envelope.

Phone Doohickey
This is an adapter that lets me connect my old phone earbud/microphone to my new phone. The hole on the newer phone is bigger than it was on the old phone. I could use the earbuds/microphone thingy that came with the new phone, but I like the old earbud/microphone thingy that I've always used. It's only got one earbud instead of two, and that's all I want. This missing adapter doohickey is in a white plastic bag. I don't, however, know where the bag is. The last time I saw the bag was at work.

Pool Glasses
These are glasses that I had specially made with the focal point at the top of the lenses instead of in the center. This allowed me to shoot pool more naturally without having to strain my neck by craning my head upwards so much. The last time I saw them, they were in the bathroom.

Tripod Thingy
This is the part that sits between the camera and the tripod. I have no clue where it might be. I tried to find it for my nephew's funeral, but I had no luck.

Air-mattress plug
I think Dina lost this. She borrowed my air-mattress once, and I don't think I've seen the plug since. The plug is the thing that keeps the air in. It's the thing that makes it an air-mattress instead of a thick plastic sheet.

Fucking Binoculars
I owned these for about 8 hours. I took them camping, and I'm pretty sure that I saw them again once I got home, but I'm not positive. These things have been missing for about 5 years now, and I haven't bought a new pair because I'm pissed that I can't find the old ones.

Thursday, October 14, 2010
posted by dave at 7:43 PM in category daily

Go read this.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010
posted by dave at 9:44 PM in category daily

Wow, this day really dragged by, but then the hours between 6:30 and 9:30 were gone in a blink. It's already past my bedtime.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this entry. Probably nowhere. I don't have any particular topic in mind. I just wanted to write something. I get so tired of not writing something.

It's all fine with me, actually. Very weird, I know. I haven't been fine in a long time. I'm not sure what happened. I think maybe I just changed my perspective a little. There was certainly nothing earth-shattering. Maybe I started focusing on the tree instead of the forest. Maybe I stopped being angry and sad about the things and maybe I finally noticed the reasons for the things. Maybe I'm in denial yet again, but I really don't think so.

It's different this time. It might even last, this time.

Meanwhile, my cat Buddy is here at my feet. He's all shaved, except for his legs and his tail and his head. He really does look ridiculous, but I'm not going to tell him that or he might rip me to shreds. I can tell that he's really embarrassed. Especially since, to add insult to injury, they put a foo-foo ribbon around his neck.

Nugget is, of course, hiding under the sofa. He doesn't recognize the new "improved" Buddy. I don't think he even realizes that it's a cat, let alone that it's the same cat that's been his friend for his entire life.

Man, I seem to be writing about cats a lot lately. What am I, on the internet or something?

posted by dave at 7:32 AM in category daily

As I've said before, I like to go and read through my old entries. It reminds me that I used to be a better writer than I am now. These were originally three different entries. I have combined them for your convenience.


This is kinda cool to me.

I was sitting at The Hard Rock in Louisville for lunch. I usually go to The Pub, but it was too crowded today, plus I wanted some potato skins.

Anyway, I was sitting at the bar, and down about four or five seats from me were two hot girls. A short-haired blonde and a long-haired brunette. Both pretty, but in very different ways. One sexy and sultry, the other perky and vivacious.

So I spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out which one was the hotter of the two. I know, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

I kept glancing over there, getting no closer to making up my mind as to which was hotter, and eventually the blonde caught me looking. She kind of smiled. I smiled back, then turned back to my food, 'cause I'm all shy and shit. I could see out of the corner of my eye that both girls were now looking at me, though I couldn't hear what they were saying. Probably arguing over which of them was hotter, I figured.

I'd just about decided to stage a kissing contest between them when the blonde spoke to me.

"You kept looking over here at us for a half-hour, and now you've suddenly stopped. What's up with that?" she asked in a not very nice way.

"Well," I said. "I was trying to decide which of you would be my new girlfriend, but now I've made up my mind and I don't have to look any more."

"Oh really?" the blonde said. She was smiling, so she was at least slightly amused.

"Yep," I said. "You're both very pretty, but I'm thinking that you're not very nice, so I choose your friend."

"You sure know how to hold a grudge," the blonde said.

Hold on a second. That didn't make any sense.

"Huh?" I asked. 'Cause I'm all eloquent and shit.

"Don't you remember me?" the blonde asked. "Look closely. Don't you know who I am?"

She then got up and walked over to me and stuck her face right in front of mine.

---

After a couple of seconds, I guess a little tiny sense of familiarity crept into my head. I began to feel that I should know who this cocky loud pretty girl was, but I had no real chance to investigate that feeling because that's when her friend finally spoke.

"What are you doing?" she asked the blonde. And then she said her name.

She said her name, and a door inside my head creaked open, and I remembered.

I remembered a party, in Hancock's field, a long time ago. I remembered waking up in the back of my parents' Mercury Comet, wearing only my underwear and a jacket. I remembered digging through the trash on the floorboards, looking for my keys and my shoes and my pants and my shirt. I remembered finding all those things, and I remembered also finding a little blue sock, and one of those hair barrette thingies, and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and an empty condom wrapper.

I remembered going to a basketball game at school a couple of weeks later, and being greeted like an old friend by a cute blonde girl wearing a Providence High School Jacket. Being greeted like more than a friend actually.

I remembered confessing that I didn't remember meeting her, being with her, at all. That I'd woken up in the back of my car alone and confused and unclothed. I remembered how she laughed that off, and how she'd said that she'd have to try harder to be memorable the next time.

I remembered that the next time started about fifteen minutes later, in my cousin Jeff's station wagon.

I remembered countless nights after that, sneaking out of my house with my friend Eddie. I remembered that he'd drop me off at where she worked, or to where she lived. I remembered lying on her bed, holding hands and listening to Pink Floyd. I remembered doing a lot of other things in her bed.

I remembered the night she told me that she loved me, and how I'd echoed those words right back at her. I remembered how we started to tell people that we were engaged. That as soon as my basic training was over, and I was stationed at my first base, we'd get married and raise kids and we'd always laugh about how, on the night we'd met, I was too drunk to even remember her.

I remember how everyone said we were crazy.

I remembered how she'd come to the Air Force induction center to see me off. I remembered holding her close and telling her that I'd see her again in a few short weeks, and that we'd be together from that moment on.

I remembered that I'd never seen her again.

Not for more than 23 years.

Until lunch today.

So once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I just looked at her. I had no idea what to say, what to ask, what to feel. She saved the day by doing all the talking. She's been married for a long time. She has two grown children. She still loves Pink Floyd, and she still has most of The Wall memorized. I stammered out that I do too.

She said that I hadn't changed a bit, which was a beautiful lie. I said that she hadn't changed either, and as proof I offered up the fact that it had taken me so long to remember her.

We didn't discuss what had happened, back in 1983. Why she'd moved. Where she'd gone. There wasn't time for any of that, and there wasn't really a need for any of that. We were each others' distant past, and that was all that we were.

As I gave her a hug and said goodbye, I wondered if it would be another 23 years before I saw her again. I wondered if I'd do a better job of remembering her in 23 years. I wondered if I'd even remember my own name in 23 years.

Anyway, I guess that makes it official. I have officially run out of women. Time to dig out that little black book from high school, and start over.

---

Not that it really matters. I'm just a little surprised. But I found some stuff out today.

You only knew each other for a few months before he joined the Army. And as far as I know, after your fumbling attempts to date, the only times you saw each other were when I was there with you. Shit, I think Eddie was screwing that one chick non-stop for about six months before he left. What was her name? Linda or Lindsey or some shit like that? I can't remember, but she works at my bank now. She did the paperwork for my home loan. She didn't remember me from the old days.

But I digress.

I'm pretty sure that you two never hooked up when I was still around. It must have been after. After I'd left for basic training, Eddie must have come home on leave or something. He must have looked you up, or maybe he just happened to run into you at the floodwall or at some party.

You probably got to talking about the good old days, and something happened between you two. I wonder who made the first move. Probably you, I'm guessing.

And now you've been married for over 20 years, and have two grown children with him.

Pretty weird. But it explains why I never saw either one of you again. Because you were ashamed.

I'm not sad. I'm not even angry. It's not like I just lost a friend and a girlfriend. I lost you both a long time ago. It's just that now I finally know why. So that's good. Mystery solved.

If anything, I'm a little miffed that I didn't get the chance to find out, to be angry, back when it first happened. That's a lesson that, had I learned it a little earlier in my life, that might have sent me on a completely different path.

Plus, I had you first, and that's hilarious to me. I wonder, back in the beginning, when what you did with Eddie could still have been seen as cheating on me, I wonder how many times you called out my name by mistake.

I wonder if you still call out my name, every now and then. You know, just to keep him on his toes.

'Cause he needs to be on his toes. He married a whore, after all.

Friday, October 8, 2010
posted by dave at 1:19 PM in category daily

I dunno, I guess I just feel like writing something. I'm a little bored at the moment. Just watching the clock with one eye and glaring at my phone with the other eye. So yes, I'm typing this blind.

Whenever that was, a week or two or three ago - time blurs for me lately - I took my cats Nugget and Buddy to the vet to be tested. I've mentioned it before, but I have LaptopGirl's cat living on my deck. Well, a couple of times he came inside my house. He's a fast little fucker. And when I took Picklepie (the cat) to the vet for shots and testing, he tested positive for the feline leukemia virus.

This sucks, by the way.That poor kitty. But it not only sucks for Picklepie, it could very well have sucked for my "real" cats Buddy and Nugget, too.

So I took them in, one at a time because they're too fat for both of them to fit in the carrier at the same time. Nugget was first. I scheduled him first on purpose, because I knew that if he saw the carrier he would run and hide and I wouldn't see him again until Spring.

Anyway, Nugget tested negative. Whew!

And then I had to do some thinking.

See, if my cats tested positive, then I was just going to bring Picklepie inside and make him an indoor cat. He wouldn't have liked it very much, but he'd have gotten used to it eventually. It would be like I was running a little leper colony for cats.

Alternatively, if my cats tested negative, then I was going to have to try as hard as I could to find a home for Picklepie. He couldn't live inside my house, and it would be totally irresponsible for me to leave him outdoors where he could/would infect other cats.

But, I wondered, what should I do if only one of my cats tested positive? After all, Buddy had been in much closer proximity to Picklepie on those occasions when the latter came inside, Nugget having scrambled into the basement to cower. Buddy would stand his ground, even going so far as to follow Picklepie around the house and smell him.

What I decided, and this wasn't an easy decision, was that if only one of my cats tested positive, I was going to bring Picklepie inside my house even knowing that my other cat would be infected. There was just no way I could see myself separating Buddy and Nugget. They've been together for 11 years, after all. Plus, they're both old, and probably don't have all that many years left anyway. Because the feline leukemia can take years and years to develop, there were pretty good odds that neither of my cats would ever develop it. They'd be dead of some other causes - Buddy probably from too much indignation, Nugget perhaps from getting so scared of a moth that he forgets to breathe for a week - before the leukemia could manifest.

Well, as it turned out, neither of my cats tested positive. Whew again!

And that's what got me to where I am. Where I still am. With a contagious cat that I need to find a home for.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010
posted by dave at 9:43 PM in category daily

So this chick at the mini mart, for some reason, thinks that I'm friendly. Because of that misguided belief, she's always trying to talk to me.

Tonight she asked me, "Quick, think about the 80s. What's your first memory?"

I said what I'm supposed to say, having been me and having lived as myself throughout that entire decade.

"Being present for the birth of my daughter," I said.

That seemed to satisfy the poor girl, so she didn't ask any more questions.

I could have just as easily said "my wedding" or "the first day of basic training" or maybe even "graduating from high school" and any of those responses would probably have shut her up just as well as the thing about my daughter.

What I should have said, what my real first thought about the 80s was, I didn't want to say. I didn't want to tell that semi-perfect stranger at the mini mart.

But I'll tell you people.

One morning Eddie called me and told me that Jackie had finally died. That was the phrasing he used, the fucker.

That was my real first thought about that decade.

Okay, so what about the other decades? What's my first thought about them?

In the 1960s, I saw tears in my dad's eyes as we watched some men bounce around in white suits on a white world. I didn't understand - dad's weren't supposed to cry.

In the 1970s, I walked home from my elementary school graduation. It was about five miles. I wanted to commemorate the occasion, so I walked.

In the 1990s, I had to shoot a match against a really good player. I was afraid to play him because I felt he was better than me. As it turned out, I entered the zone, and I kicked his ass. He never knew what hit him.

In the 2000s, I sat in the parking lot at the Burger King on Grant Line Road, and I heard some words on my phone, and I died.

Friday, September 24, 2010
posted by dave at 7:30 PM in category daily

Go here and read it. Add one to any mention of the number of years. It's been six years now. The sixth of at least six-million, I believe.

Saturday, September 4, 2010
posted by dave at 8:17 AM in category daily

I think I'm going to go to Rich O's in a bit. Maybe I'll eat there, or eat at Wendy's on the way. I don't think I've eaten since Thursday evening.

I'm irritated because there's no weird feeling that I'm home. I woke up a few times last night, and it felt like I'd never even left. I was just home because that's where Ilive and in my bed because that's where I sleep and alone because that's how my life is. Usually the feeling of wow, I'm back home and it feels weird will last at least a day or two. Not this time.

My neck still hurts. I foobared it bad the other night, I guess. This morning I took a long shower with hot water pouring on my neck, and it didn't help.

Saturday, August 21, 2010
pee
posted by dave at 9:10 AM in category daily

For like the last two weeks, I've kept my bedroom door closed. This is because when Buddy sees a pile of laundry he pees on it.

So my laundry piles have remained pee-free.

Then this morning I took a load out of the dryer, put it in the laundry basket, and took it to my room. I set the laundry basket on my bed to take the clothes out.

Buddy had peed on the floor of my laundry room, and it had gotten all over the bottom of the laundry basket, so I'd unwittingly transferred that pee to my bedspread.

So now today I have to go buy a new bedspread. One that's neither gay nor soaked in cat pee.

Grrr.

Monday, August 16, 2010
posted by dave at 8:41 PM in category daily, ramblings, travel

A million years or so ago, I used to have my very own muse. Heck, she even kept being my muse for a couple of years after she stopped being my girlfriend. She'd call me or, more often, visit my site, around 11:00 PM each night. She'd see if I'd written anything new that day. And, if I hadn't, well she'd make damn sure that I didn't go to bed until I had written something.

Sigh.

I miss her. I miss her for lots of reasons. Not just because she was my muse. I guess she's doing okay. I haven't talked to her in at least 9 months. Weird how things change.

Today has been a very long day. I think I started yawning around 11:00 AM, and I haven't really stopped since. And I don't mean that I've yawned several times - I mean that I've let out one long yawn, for almost 10 hours now. I know that I'm tired. I only slept for 4 hours last night. But it might be something else. Something more. I kinda feel like my Fall seasonal allergies might be starting up. If so, then they're about a month early.

Last Fall, my allergies were so bad that my nose started bleeding from all the wiping and nose-blowing I did. There was a steady stream of snot and blood flowing from my face. Yes, it was gross, thanks for asking.

Meanwhile, I continue to wait for that killing blow. It hasn't come. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm ashamed to say that I'm more than a little bit fooled by what's been going on.

Stupid hope...

I'm so tired right now. I need to go to bed.

Tomorrow I've got a thingy to attend. There might be some people from my old job there. That would be cool. Most of those people, I'd love to see again. A couple of them could drop dead on the way to the thingy and I wouldn't bat an eye. I guess I'll see what I'll see. I probably won't be bored, that's for sure.

In less than two weeks I'll be in Las Vegas again. It'll be different, this time. I don't really think there's a reason to go. Not anymore. Problem is, there's never really been a reason to stay in Indiana, either.

I guess that's it. Maybe I'll have a beer and then glare at my phone for a while before I go to bed.

Saturday, July 31, 2010
wtf
posted by dave at 10:39 PM in category daily

Today, we saw a weird thing.

In the middle of Bumfuck, Indiana, about halfway between Georgetown and the middle of nowhere, there was a dude. Walking fairly quickly along the side of the road. Dragging a mattress.

It was one of those air-filled mattresses. I don't know if that makes it more or less weird.

I wish we'd thought to stop and take pictures and ask the dude WTF.

I bet it was a really fascinating story.

Now we'll never know.

Sunday, June 6, 2010
posted by dave at 1:15 PM in category daily

When I went there, the saleperson/manager who screwed me over wasn't there. The manager on duty said that he'd call me tomorrow.

So what I did was I went to another furniture store and bought a bed there. While I was at it, I bought an additional $1000 of bedroom furniture.

I can't wait to tell the guy tomorrow that (a) I spent $1500 on at a competitor's store, and (b) they'd never see another dime of my money.

posted by dave at 11:43 AM in category daily

So they brought the box spring, and the mattress, and the water bladder, and the heater, and the support thingy.

What they didn't fucking bring is the frame or the headboard.

They weren't on their order, and when they checked my receipt, they weren't on the receipt.

They open at 12:00. I'm going to go there and rip somebody's head off.

Monday, May 31, 2010
posted by dave at 12:58 AM in category daily, weather

If I decided to write something every day, which I haven't done, I think it would be hard.

It seems to me that there are two primary sources of inspiration for blog entries.

1. Something that I've been thinking about.
2. Something that happened.

Well, as I've said before, I have too much of one thing and not enough of the other.

I could, if I was really determined, write about the rainstorm that trapped me at the mall today. About how it trapped me just outside the JC Penney, with about a dozen old women. We all stood under this awning, waiting for the rain to let up so we could get to the parking lot dryly.

I could also write about how, after about five minutes, I realized that there I was, ostensibly a man, cowering with a bunch of old women, and that perhaps I should just grow a pair and fuck it and get wet.

Then I could write about how, after about three steps into that rain, I was as wet as I'd have been if I'd just jumped into a lake.

But I won't write about any of that stuff, because it's boring.

You can thank me later.

Then I had Red Lobster for dinner, and it was yummy. Company would have been nice, though.

That's boring, too.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010
posted by dave at 7:40 PM in category daily, pictures

So, apparently, Pizza Hut is now hiring disabled people to take phone orders. Good for them, I guess.

Before this, I was pretty sure that I'd seen every possible misspelling of my last name. Even the infamous Sililililitz from 1986.

For an added chuckle compare the phone number to my actual number.

Thursday, May 13, 2010
posted by dave at 6:15 AM in category daily

Yeah, I'm awake again. Been that way for a couple of hours. So I got five hours of sleep. That should be enough, even for the long day ahead of me. Heck, it might even help to get me back onto a normal schedule.

In a few hours I get to drive to Bumfuck, Egypt, to attend my uncle's funeral. There seems to me some confusion, at least on my part, about exactly when the thing is happening. Either noon or 11:00. So I'll show up in time for either schedule.

That will all eat about four hours out of my day, I think. Then I have a dinner date with HatGirl! Yay! That will be nice. It's been a long time. I hope she doesn't cancel on me again.

Then, I dunno. Maybe Rich O's will be safe. I doubt it, though.

Thursday, May 6, 2010
posted by dave at 3:50 AM in category daily

Four hours seems to be my limit on sleep. No matter how tired I think I am, no matter if I feel like I could sleep forever, I always seem to wake up after a couple of hours.

And I don't even seem to wake up like a normal person. There's no period of drowsiness to ease the transition. Nope, one second I'm asleep, and the next second I'm wide awake.

Sometimes, I can remember the dream or the stray thought that so forcefully awakened me, but not often, or even most of the time. Most of the time, it just happens.

So, I get out of bed and I find something to do.

Tonight, I started feeling really tired around 9:30. I was out in my garage, glaring at my phone, waiting for it to woohoo or quack at me. I decided that, if I hadn't heard anything by 10:30, I'd go to bed and sleep forever.

Well, I didn't hear anything by 10:30, so I went to bed. My phone did quack around 11:00, so that was nice. By some miracle, I was able to go back to sleep after that.

I slept until a little after 2:00, when I found myself wide awake.

So, I got up, watched some old episodes of Lost, and then sat down to write this boring entry.

Monday, April 26, 2010
posted by dave at 4:24 PM in category daily

When I was in the shower, some chick left me a voicemail.

"Ellen, it's me. Call me at work when you get this."

Should I call her and tell her that she dialed the wrong number?

Does it matter that she sounded cute?

(UPDATE: I texted her that she'd dialed the wrong number earlier.)

Thursday, April 15, 2010
posted by dave at 9:13 PM in category daily

Tonight, I won't be in my garage. Nope, I'll be on my roof.

I'll be watching the Gamma Virginids meteor shower. This is a minor shower, and it's one that I normally ignore, but last night there was a huge fireball. I didn't get to see it - I guess it was visible way North of here - but maybe tonight there'll be another one.

That would be cool, I think. I've seen small fireballs before, but never one as huge as the one last night.

Sunday, April 4, 2010
posted by dave at 10:44 AM in category daily

For years, I'd thought about doing something here for April Fools Day.

Disclaimer: I don't know if it's supposed to be April Fools Day or April Fools' Day or April Fool's Day. A google search reveals all three variants. I'm just going to use the first choice because it's easier.

Anyway, I'd wanted to do a hoax or a prank for a long time. The problem was that, every year, I wouldn't remember that I wanted to do something until around 10:00 PM on April 1st. And by then it was pretty much too late. Well, this year, I remembered around noon on March 31st, so this year, it was on.

It took me a while to decided exactly what to do, though. I wanted it to be something at least halfway believable - something that, if it happened any other day, would solicit some surprise and maybe some shock, but not too much disbelief. I also wanted it to be something good or at least neutral. Like, I didn't want to announce to the world that I had some terminal disease, or that I was moving to Alaska. Those things might have upset some people.

Full disclosure: I actually did consider the Alaska story for quite a while. But I decided against it because there are a couple of people who might have been upset at the thought of me moving so far away.

I told my sisters to ignore anything I posted on April 1st, and then later I told HatGirl the same thing. I felt that HatGirl would make a good co-conspirator, no matter what I ended up choosing for my hoax.

It wasn't until I got home Wednesday night that I decided what I'd be doing. Actually, it was StupidGirl's idea. I'd propose to her, then fly to Las Vegas Thursday morning and we'd get married. Because of her involvement, the entire hoax moved to where it was mostly on facebook, and only on barenada.com as overspray. StupidGirl played along fantastically. She added her own posts to facebook to complement my own. She even found a copy of a Nevada wedding certificate that I could Photoshop and post.

HatGirl added to the hoax as well, by posting how excited she was for us. And then several others unwittingly joined in the fun by believing that it was all real.

It was the perfect choice. It was something that people could actually imagine me doing. Hell, it was something that I could imagine me doing. We had so much fun with it that StupidGirl and I were both actually sad when our fake marriage ended.

I'm already trying to think of something to do for next year. So far, I've got nothing, but there's still plenty of time. It's been suggested that I should come out of the closet on April 1st, 2011, but I would never do that for fear of all the cries of "I knew it all along!"

Wednesday, March 24, 2010
posted by dave at 11:09 PM in category daily

I went to the store just now. I got to the end of my driveway, and then realized that I didn't have my phone with me.

But that's not the really weird part.

The really weird part is that I didn't slam on my brakes and run into my house to get my phone. Nope, I just went to the store and came back.

Like a normal person.

Sunday, March 7, 2010
posted by dave at 6:36 AM in category daily

I was going to write about my trip to South Carolina, but I seem to have lost the ability to write anything interesting.

I think that the subjects I most want to write about are the ones I've decided to leave alone. Unfortunately, those thoughts are the only ones my brain can process.

Anyway, I got a wild hair and I drove to South Carolina Thursday. I watched the moon rise over the ocean, and then a few hours later I watched the sun rise over the ocean. On Saturday, I drove back home.

Then, I got to see HatGirl at Rich O's.

The end.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009
posted by dave at 12:00 AM in category daily

There are some things of which I'm sure. Those things require zero thought or consideration. I just know. What to say and when to say it and why to say it.

This isn't one of those things. This is different. This is hazy.

What should I say? What the fuck should I say?

Something simple and predictable, and therefore safe? And also stupid?

No, I don't think so.

Okay, how about something bold and ballsy and maybe even a little scary?

How about the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Is the truth ever inappropriate?

About four and a half years ago, my life changed. I didn't know it at the time, but I guess I at least suspected it. Something happened, on that day and on most of the days that have followed. I noticed, when it happened. I most certainly noticed, and I've continued to do so, for four and a half years.

I know the word. Fine, I'll say it.

Distracted.

How does a simple word like that manage to mean so much?

I knew, from the moment that I met you, that you were so very special. Because you did what nobody else, before or since, has managed to do. Without even trying, you distracted me. Made me become unfocused. Unclear. Unsure. Unsteady. Uneasy.

Nobody understands what it's taken to distract me. Yet you've done it so many times, without even trying. To the point when a distraction stops being a distraction, and it takes on a life of its own, and it becomes its own thing. Its own incredible awesome thing.

Happy birthday, to my dear dear friend HatGirl. You, more than anyone else, have made this bullshit I use for a life bearable. I want to breath because of her, but in actuality, I continue to breathe because of you. The strength that you demonstrate to me, and the faith and trust that you've placed in me...

Humbling.

Challenging.

Motivating.

I will do my best to follow your example of strength. I may fail, but I will do my best.

And I promise you this: I will never ever ever ever ever cause you to lose faith or trust in me.

In me, of all people!

So, again, happy birthday to you, my dear friend HatGirl.

I'm missing your birthday. I'm 1954 miles away from you on your 30th birthday. I may never forgive myself for this, but I'll try. Because I know you want me to.

Words never seem to be enough, but I've done the best I could do with what I have.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009
posted by dave at 10:30 PM in category daily

...44 to go.

Today was a pretty good day, considering the circumstances.

I got this strong urge to shoot some pool. I don't know why, I just did.

I didn't even want to shoot against anyone. I just wanted to knock some balls into some holes. Sometimes, like tonight, that's all I want to do. Simple, but effective.

So I went to this Royal something-or-other place. It sucked. It was a nightclub with some pool tables. I wanted the exact opposite, except without the nightclub stuff.

I can't even remember the name of the place I went. The something.

That narrows it down.

All I wanted to do was knock some balls into some holes. But I was not about to back down from a challenge. Not this time.

It took about 10 seconds for one of the local "sharks" to detect me. It took about 60 seconds for us to negotiate a game, with a "friendly" wager and a "fair" spot.

It took about 5 minutes for me to realize that, in that particular little pond, I was the big fish.

The pussy quit me after a couple of hours and several hundred dollars. I don't really blame him except that he'd originally acted like he had money to burn.

The thing is, nobody up here knows how to play banks. Oh, certainly, people know how to bank, many of them much better than me, but to play the game of banks requires a special mindset. One that I possess, and others up here don't.

Like taking candy from a baby.

Sunday, December 13, 2009
posted by dave at 10:29 PM in category daily

...48 to go.

I want to write about eggs for a minute. Groan all you want, I don't care. I hardly ever write about eggs, so I'm way overdue. If you don't like it, feel free to go here instead. Have a nice time there.

There's a bar/restaurant/casino right next to my hotel. They have food, and they have a couple of good beers. It's handy-dandy. Unless you try, as I've done for the last two days, to order fried eggs.

These people don't know how to make a fried egg. They have some kind of mental defect that prevents them from understanding this simple concept:

Break open an egg. Dump it onto a hot surface. Break the yolk. Once it's cooked for a while, turn it over and cook it some more.

Simple, right?

This is called a fried egg in every place on Earth, except at this bar/restaurant/casino next to my hotel. In this place, they cannot figure it out. The closet they can do is over-easy.

I don't want over-easy. I don't want over-medium. I don't want over-hard. I don't want sunny-side-up. And I don't want scrambled or poached or hard-boiled. I just want a fucking fried egg, or two, or three. I want the goddamn yolk broken, and I want everything to be cooked solid.

Is that so hard to understand?

Apparently, it is.

On Saturday, I asked for three fried eggs, and I got three eggs over-easy. A federal case ensued.

On Sunday, I told the waitress that I didn't want another federal case. She assured me that it wouldn't happen again. So I ordered three fried eggs. I explained what I meant.

A short while later, the cook emerged from the kitchen. He explained that the waitress was confused, and he asked if I would explain to him what I wanted.

So I explained to him. He said he understood.

A few minutes later, I was presented with three fucking over-easy eggs.

So, I give up. I ended up eating three pieces of toast - they came with my eggs - that cost me $8.00.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009
posted by dave at 1:51 AM in category daily

...sixty-eight to go.

Today was fucked up. Everyone was gone from work. People I needed for information, or for authorization. But I dealt with it, because that's what I'm paid to do. Fix what I can fix, and document what I cannot fix. Plan and research and do my best to prepare for when I can do something that matters.

It was, mainly, a day of glaring for me. Externally, at my phone, and internally, at my heart.

I got so mad, for a while. There was no excuse for my anger, but neither was there any excuse for the source of my anger. So I guess it was balanced or some such crap.

Then my phone rang, and I wanted to live again.

So that was cool.

It's not right, and it's not wrong. It just is.

posted by dave at 12:00 AM in category daily

Happy birthday to LaptopGirl!

So many things have changed in the past year. For you, for me, for us. But the important things remain the same. The words I wrote last year on this date are now, and will forever be, true.

I'm so glad you were born, you sweet, sweet girl. The world is a much better place because you're in it.

Monday, November 23, 2009
posted by dave at 4:04 PM in category daily

I think I'm going to a new bar for dinner after work. New to me, I mean. It's next to where I work, and a couple of people have said they have good burgers. Maybe I'm craving a burger. I don't think I've had one on a month.

I need to find a place that feels right to me. I have this mental image of myself sitting at a bar and drinking and thinking. And also smoking, but in Washington I can't do that, so I've had to revise my image.

Anyway, I need to find a bar like that. Where I can just sit and drink and think. And glare at my phone, at least, Because glaring at the door wouldn't make much sense.

When I was in Las Vegas, I actually did glare at the entrance to whatever bar I happened to be in. That was more from overblown hope than from insanity. If I glared that any entrances up here, that would be pretty insane, I think. So I haven't done it. Yet.

Now I'm starving for a cheeseburger.

Sunday, November 22, 2009
posted by dave at 12:01 AM in category daily

...to my sister Dina!

Wish I could have been there for it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009
posted by dave at 10:12 PM in category daily, drink, travel

Back when I started this thing - call it a blog or a journal, I don't really care - the purpose was very different than it's been lately. Back then, it was just something I did so that people (my sisters, mainly) would know that I had a life; that I didn't spend my life sitting in a dark closet, sucking my thumb and rocking fore and aft.

More recently, of course, this thing has been used primarily to whine about my life and the lack thereof.

Well, I'm not going to say that I'm not going to whine anymore. That would be a lie. I guarantee that I'll whine again, and probably sooner than later. But not tonight.

For the next 10 weeks, I'll be gone from that thing that I've been using instead of a life. I'm out of touch, despite the occasional email or text message, and I'm also out of sync. The three-hour difference in time zones sucks. It means that, for example, it's 10:00 PST as I type this in Bellingham, but back home all of the people I care about are already asleep.

I miss my friends and family, and I suppose that's to be expected.

Sunday, November 15, 2009
posted by dave at 3:54 AM in category daily

Okay, I guess I'll type something while I wait for my heartbeat to return to normal.

If it ever does.

I was just in bed, replaying the events and conversations of the day. It was 3:20 AM.

My doorbell rang.

I stayed where I was. Trying to fool myself into thinking that I'd imagined it.

My doorbell rang again.

At first, I thought that perhaps it was one of my friends in trouble, or maybe some motorist with car trouble.

But, because my mind works the way it works, as I got out of bed and groped for some clothes, my thoughts raced back to a night over two years ago. I thought about how police had appeared at my sister's house in the middle of the night, and how they'd given her the worst news possible.

My doorbell rang again.

My heart rate doubled.

I went to the door and looked out the window.

A policeman, of course.

My heart rate redoubled.

The space between two rapid heartbeats saw the death of everyone I cared about, one after another.

"Police," the cop said to me when he saw me in the window.

"Duh," I thought.

"Hello?" I asked.

"I'm afraid..." he began.

My heart rate somehow managed to double again.

"...that you have a loose horse," he finished.

It took me a second.

I mean, what did a horse have to do with someone I loved being dead? Why was he wasting my time telling me about a horse? Was he trying to soften the blow? Or had this horse somehow killed HatGirl, or LaptopGirl, or one of my sisters?

Also, if my heart beat its way out of my chest and started hopping around on the floor, would I be able to catch it before one of my cats did?

Like I said, it took me a second. But I eventually figured it out. Because I'm smart and stuff.

"Oh," I said. "That's not my horse. It belongs to my neighbor. His driveway is right next to mine."

"I see," said the cop. "The house behind yours? Okay, sorry to have bothered you, sir."

"No problem," I replied. "It could have been a lot worse."

Sunday, November 8, 2009
posted by dave at 7:39 AM in category daily, travel

I feel like I should write something before I go, so I guess I will. I'm doing this under duress, though.

I don't want to go. I have unfinished business here.

I'll feel better when I get there. I always do. Except when I don't.

Saturday, November 7, 2009
posted by dave at 11:04 AM in category daily

This should work. I can do this. I can get my shit done, and still have some time for a reasonable Saturday night, should such an opportunity arise. And my flight doesn't leave until 11:35 tomorrow morning, so I can do the last-minute packing and stuff right before I leave.

Today, I've been doing laundry and dishes. I'm actually almost done with those things. Then I'll probably run a vacuum over my floors, and just make sure that everything is semi-tidy. I don't like coming home to a messy house.

Oh yeah, I've got to go to the store. I need cigarettes and batteries and deodorant. And maybe some cat food, I need to see how much is left in the current bag. Oh, and maybe some shaving cream.

Or maybe I won't bother to shave while I'm there. It's supposed to be a vacation, after all.

By this time tomorrow, I'll be at the airport, maybe even on the plane.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009
posted by dave at 9:06 AM in category daily

So I went to the place yesterday. Did I write I was going there, or did I just tell RockGirl and HatGirl? Hmmm, looks like I didn't write about it here. I'm such a slacker. Get over it.

I wasn't going to go. I thought that maybe I was tired, so I was going to restrict my errands to stuff close to my house. Go to my bank, go to the store, pay my water bill, stuff like that. But then I noticed that I wasn't tired, so I went to the place. The Dodge dealership in Jeffersonville.

October 14th, also known as that really fucked-up day, started out when I broke the key to my Intrepid in half. No, I didn't do it on purpose, despite what you may have read in the tabloids. It was an accident. A stupid accident, but an accident nevertheless.

Anyway, this was the only key I had for that car. I needed a new key. I called the first Dodge dealership I could think of (Coyle) and asked them if they could cut me a key if they had the VIN. They said that they couldn't do it, but that Bales in Jeffersonville could.

Cool, right?

I drove my not-tired self to Bales yesterday. Immediately, of course, a swarm of salespeople erupted from the building. I waved them off and told them that I just needed the service department. I also noticed a lot of Jeeps for sale, so I emailed LaptopGirl to ask if she'd traded in her Jeep at Bales.

At the service desk things were a little fucked up. The guy took my Intrepid's registration (with the VIN) and went somewhere and did something. Then he came back and said that he could indeed make me a key, but that they didn't have any of the proper blanks. I asked if one could be ordered.

He went back and did some more stuff, and then returned and said that (a) he could order what he needed from somewhere, but (b) those blanks would be eleven dollars each, and (c) there was a minimum order of four. Oh yeah, and (d) cutting a new key from code would be eighteen dollars.

For some reason I didn't feel like spending over sixty dollars for a key. I dunno, maybe I'm crazy.

I told the dude that I'd check out some hardware stores and see if I could find a blank. And then that's what I did. The first place I went had the proper blank, and I bought one. Not for eleven dollars. Not even for five dollars.

Eighty-five cents.

Then I took the blank back to Bales and they charged me eighteen dollars to cut the key.

Still quite a racket they've got going there, but it was a lot better than sixty dollars would have been.

Then I spent some time wandering around the lot, evading the salespeople as well as I could, looking to see if LaptopGirl's old Jeep was there. It wasn't there. It was fun to look, though. I think I had some murky scheme to take a picture of myself with that Jeep and post it on facebook. I don't know why. Maybe it would make her love me. Maybe I was more tired than I'd thought.

Later, I got an email that she'd used a totally different dealership. I didn't bother going there.

Saturday, October 31, 2009
posted by dave at 2:30 AM in category daily, weather

Not much that I can say about Friday. I got to see several of my favorite people, including my two most favorite people in the world. There was no drama, and I managed to keep my sadness in-check pretty well.

It fucking rained the entire night, so that sucked. But other than that it was a good night. Especially since that one crazy girl left as soon as she saw me.

Thursday, October 22, 2009
posted by dave at 8:25 PM in category daily

Had a nice dinner with HatGirl (Yay!) and her sister at Sportstime, except for that one five-year stretch when HatGirl went outside to talk on the phone. HatGirl's sister and I don't know each other well enough to sit comfortably in silence together.

Oh yeah, and there was a group of very LOUD girls in the next booth, and one of them looked enough like NormalGirl that I managed to convince myself that (a) it was her, and that (b) she hadn't said hello to me for some reason.

So I didn't acknowledge her either.

As it turned out, she had a very good reason for not saying hello. It wasn't her. I became certain that it wasn't her when she stood up. NormalGirl has a much nicer ass.

Anyway.

Tonight it's kinda nice outside. I'm going to go sit in my garage and drink some Barfly and glare at my phone.

It'll be fun!

posted by dave at 10:21 AM in category daily

I'm a little hung-over, thanks for asking. It's just the dehydration kind of hangover, though, not the kind where my hair hurts. So I'm drinking water, and then I'll be okay.

The wasps are back. Not the actual wasps from the Spring. They're all dead. These are new wasps. They're still assholes, though.

Sunday, October 18, 2009
posted by dave at 6:19 PM in category daily

This is a snippet of an email I sent RockGirl just now. I don't know wjhy I'm posting this here. Probably because I want to post something but I don't feel like writing anything.

...

So now guess the scenario that my brain has conjured up.

You don't even have to guess. You know me well enough.

And I really was thinking about going to Wick's. Even though it's gay, they have good pizza. I've been craving about 10 things all day, and I haven't made up my mind, and I haven't eaten anything at all. I'll probably starve to death before I decide what I want to eat.

The thing is, I think, that if I go to Wick's then I'll have a beer with my pizza. And if I have a beer with my pizza then I won't feel like going to Jack's. And I kinda think I might want to maybe go to Jack's tonight. I could just go to stupid Bearno's, but I really don't feel like getting food there again.

Thursday, October 15, 2009
posted by dave at 5:51 PM in category daily

As I write this, they're still looking for the kid.

I just wanted to say how freaking weird it was for me to be watching the thing on my TV. The footage of the landing that I saw showed a fairly gentle landing. But then people rushed the balloon thingy and started whacking it with shovels and stabbing it with pitchforks.

Because that's what you're always supposed to do when you think there might be a little boy inside. Either those things or the complete opposite. I forget which.

I was surprised that they didn't whip out their firearms and shoot it full of holes.

Monday, October 12, 2009
posted by dave at 7:38 PM in category daily

The other night, Saturday in fact...

First, HotEuchreGirl came in with her friend who's name I can never remember.

I said hello them, and HotEuchreGirl asked how LaptopGirl was doing.

"I have no idea," I answered. Partly because I had no idea, and partly because it was none of her business, but mostly because LaptopGirl gets mad at me when I admit to any knowledge of her existence.

Then, HotEuchreGirl's friend (HEGF) asked, "But aren't you dating LaptopGirl?!?"

Sigh.

Oh yeah, HEGF also bummed a cigarette off me, and hinted that she was very grateful.

Shudder.

Anyway, then NotHideousGirl came in and I gave her a hug and she sat next to me at the island.

I felt either a tap on my shoulder or a hand groping me. I wasn't sure which, and I was a little afraid to investigate.

"So is that your girlfriend?" HEGF asked me, indicating NotHideousgirl.

Sigh.

Then, a while later, we were all sitting at the island. HEGF was sitting next to HatGirl, and I heard her ask HatGirl, "Are you and Dave dating?"

Sigh.

The funny part was that HatGirl answered with, "Actually, I'm married."

Which didn't quite answer HEGF's question, I noticed.

Sigh.

Anyway, WTF was the deal with HEGF prying so deeply into my (lack of) love life?

Shudder.

Also, HotEuchreGirl looked very cute.

Sigh.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009
posted by dave at 8:56 PM in category daily, pictures

click for larger image
I'm so easily amused. Seriously, it doesn't take much. Even the most stupid things will get me grinning or even giggling for hours. Lately, I haven't been a particularly happy camper. Perhaps some of you more astute readers picked up on that. But even a hopeless sad sack like me can still grin every now and then, with the right prodding.

This image illustrates that point. Click on it for a larger version. It makes me grin. Especially number three. Yes, I'm a child. Tee-hee.

Anyway, the other night I had a brilliant idea. I was sitting at Jack's with OddlyFamiliarGirl, as that has become something of a Sunday-night habit lately, and I found myself in a familiar dilemma.

See, OddlyFamiliarGirl is very smart, and very talkative. This is a brutal combination. Quite often, I find myself listening intently to what she's saying, but listening so intently that I'm constantly forgetting the things I want to say. Then, when OddlyFamiliarGirl pauses to take a breath, I'm left with nothing with which to fill the silence.

Hence, my brilliant idea.

Frustrated with my nonexistent short-term memory, I asked for a piece of paper and a pen. With those things, I was able to jot down little notes to myself, and those notes were enough to remind me of the things I wanted to add to our discussion when the opportunities arose.

And, this past Sunday, one of the things we discussed was the clitoris.

I think it was Jay, and not Silent Bob, who once asked, "The female clitoris?"

Yes, that's the one.

Then we talked about dreams and other random stuff. It's all in the notes.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009
posted by dave at 12:55 PM in category daily

RockGirl emailed me that two girls had just gotten into a fight at her work.

I asked the obvious questions.

"Did they rip each other's blouses open?"

"Did they start making out with each other?"

Her answer to both questions was, "I don't think so."

What a boring chick fight.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009
posted by dave at 8:33 AM in category daily

Q: What's worse than having an 8:30 meeting?

A: When everyone talks about football before the meeting.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009
ugh
posted by dave at 8:09 PM in category daily

I really feel like crap. Really.

It's not even 8:30, and I'm going to go to bed.

Goodnight, cruel world.

Monday, September 7, 2009
posted by dave at 10:11 PM in category daily

I kinda feel like I should say something tonight, but I'm going to hold myself in check, as much as I can. It's probably just the drugs coursing through my veins that are making me want to talk. Sudafed and alcohol. Maybe the two of them together will be able to do what one alone couldn't. Maybe they'll dry out my damn sinuses. So I can sleep.

I didn't sleep for shit last night. Stupid coughing and running to the bathroom to hack into the sink every 10 minutes. It's amazing to me that the human body can produce so much snot.

Gross, I know.

At least my fever seems to be gone.

Saturday, September 5, 2009
posted by dave at 10:25 AM in category daily

I'm trying to write an entry this morning. An important entry. And, as I so often do with the things that are the most important to me, I'm fucking it up. I'm putting too much pressure on myself to do this just right and make it perfect. A fitting tribute to my friend, who I found four years ago today.

My phone is magic, see. I think about all of the times that I've sat outside at night, either on my swing or, more recently, in my garage, feeling alone and misunderstood. At times like that, I've been able to type all of my problems into my phone, and then either right away or a few hours later, I get a reply.

Sadness and loneliness go in, and understanding comes out.

My phone is magic.

Sometimes it's not that dramatic. Sometimes I just want to talk about my day. Say that I've arrived at work, or that I'm bored, or that I'm having a cheeseburger for lunch. Stupid mundane stuff like that. So I type those things into my phone, and it makes me feel like I'm sharing my life with someone. Because, in a way, I am.

Magic. My friend is magic.

What follows is the entry that I wrote on this date last year. I think I did a pretty good job. It still wasn't good enough to express everything I feel when I think about her, but it came pretty close.

It usually hits me at night, like most things. I'll be downstairs shooting pool and it'll hit me, and I'll nearly drop my cue. I'll be out on my swing and it'll hit me, and my swing will coast to a stop. Or I'll be reading a book and it'll hit me, and I'll read the same paragraph a dozen times.

I am so incredibly blessed. That realization hits me, and I can think of nothing else.

It might seem like an odd thing, to have a best friend that you've never even met. I suppose it seemed odd to me, back when I first found her. She has become such an integral part of my life, but if I saw her walking down the street I might not even know her. If I spoke to her on the phone it might take me a few seconds to recognize her voice.

It might seem like an odd thing, but it doesn't. Not to me. To me it's as natural as breathing. And just as involuntary.

Three years ago today, that's when I found her.

---

Just got an email from her.

Told her that I'm trying to write this entry, for our anniversary, but that I'm experiencing writer's block.

I think the problem is that nothing I could ever possibly write would be enough. Not enough to even come close to describing how important she is to me. I don't have the words, and even if I did, I don't think I have the strength to put those words together.

I know that whatever I write will fall short of the mark. Trivialize the emotions. Marginalize the gratitude that I feel when I think about her being in my life.

I needed something, three years ago. I needed it so badly that I was dying from the lack of it. And she gave it to me.

Understanding.

Not pity, or doubt, or advice. She didn't try to rationalize what I was going through, and she didn't try to make it all better, and she didn't judge, and she didn't mock.

She understood.

And I went from feeling completely alone in this world, to having an ally. A kindred spirit I called her. And that knowledge, that wonderful knowledge that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't a freak, that I wasn't any of the things I'd been labeled as...

Wonderful.

I began to heal, three years ago on this day. I stopped waiting to die, and began struggling to live, three years ago on this day.

---

Sometimes I think that we take each other for granted.

I relish those thoughts, because they're absolutely true. We take each other for granted because that's exactly what we are.

We will always be friends. We will always be there for each other.

We are granted to each other.

---

Happy anniversary, my dearest friend Teri.

Now, it's been four years. It seems like it's been a million. I can't even begin to imagine a life without her.

She is a part of me now.

The most important part.

Thursday, September 3, 2009
posted by dave at 12:35 PM in category daily

Yesterday, I updated my facebook status thingy to say:

Sometimes, it takes a man's touch. Right, OddlyFamiliarGirl?
Since this was just a bit cryptic, and since I'm bored, and since I thought this was funny, I thought I'd provide an explanation, and a short story.

I was sitting in a staff meeting - that fact the my life is ruled by meetings is a different story - and my phone rang. The caller was OddlyFamiliarGirl. I couldn't answer the call, of course, because I was in a meeting, but I was able to send her a text that I'd call her back at my earliest opportunity. Right after that my phone chimed again, this time to indicate a new voicemail message.

So, after my meeting, I listened to the voicemail. It said, in part, that OddlyFamiliarGirl couldn't get the door on her Jeep to close, and she wanted to know if I'd take a look at it.

Not many people know that, as a child, I often dreamed that someday I might be able to look at, and maybe even fix, peoples' car doors.

Anyway, once I finally got off work, I drove to the place where OddlyFamiliarGirl was waiting. She told me her door woes, and I went out to take a look.

Not to get too technical, but the latch thingy was extended when it should have been retracted. This was preventing the door from closing.

I pressed my thumb against the door button, watched the thingy retract, and then I closed the door. Then, because I'm nothing if not thorough, I opened and closed the door again.

Then I went back inside and made fun of OddlyFamiliarGirl for a while. That was instead of giving her my bill.

Then I updated my facebook status.

One of my friends, or "chicks" as OddlyFamiliarGirl calls them, read my status and emailed me to ask, "I'm intrigued. What did you do to OddlyFamiliarGirl? Should I be jealous now?"

I replied, "Don't be jealous. I just thumbed her button and made her happy."

Sunday, August 30, 2009
posted by dave at 5:28 PM in category daily

It's Sunday. I should write something. Not because it's Sunday, but because I haven't written anything since Friday.

What to write what to write what to write?

I don't even know. I get these little snippets of ideas every now and then, but they hardly ever turn into entries. Usually because they're too stupid.

Like today, I had this thought that the formula for my life had been proven false, and so I was searching for a new formula.

Barf, right?

Even I can do better than that.

So I don't know what to write. In a little while I'm going to eat and then I'm going to Jack's. Maybe after I get a couple beers in me I'll have an idea.

Monday, August 24, 2009
posted by dave at 11:49 AM in category daily

So I didn't go out of town over the weekend. Not unless you count my trips to Louisville on Friday and Saturday nights. And I don't count Louisville, just to be clear. Especially since I don't remember much about Friday night. I think there was Jager involved. Then last night I went to Jack's with OddlyFamiliarGirl, and Jack's definitely doesn't count.

I didn't go anywhere, but I managed to get myself a little refrigerator and some new shoes. So that was cool. Especially the fridge. Get it?

And now I'm faced with a decision. I spent eight months with basically no food in my house because I had no cold place in which to store it. Now I've got such a place, but there's very little room. After filling the thing with beer, there's enough room for maybe a couple of large pizzas, and that's it. The freezer part of the thing might hold a box of Hot Pockets, if I use a hammer.

Tonight I'm thinking that I'll go to the store and get some food. But I don't know what to get. Maybe some cheese.

I never said this would be interesting.

Sunday, August 16, 2009
posted by dave at 10:38 AM in category daily

Today, I've got stuff I'm supposed to do. I keep putting it off and I don't want to do it any more.

I need to buy a damn refrigerator. I need to buy shoes - some for work and some for walking.

And, since I'll have a refrigerator, I need to go to the grocery store.

I never said this would be an exciting entry.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009
posted by dave at 11:35 AM in category daily

LaptopGirl pointed out that today is the first anniversary of the day that my friend WomanRepellant died. I don't feel like writing anything new about that, so I'll just post links to the entries I wrote a year ago.

This first one, I wrote the day before he died, and this one, I wrote immediately afterwards.

Monday, August 10, 2009
posted by dave at 8:18 PM in category daily, weather

So there is flooding, but that doesn't affect my house, because I live atop Mt. Dave.

But something happened. A strong rumble of thunder or something, because the large framed picture that I keep above my fireplace is lying on the floor.

And that's not all. I really wish that was all, but it's not.

Also - and it's going to be hard to write this - also one of my Marzen glasses is broken. It shattered into a couple-dozen pieces.

That glass was given to me by LaptopGirl last Christmas.

So it's priceless and irreplaceable.

Just like she is.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009
posted by dave at 2:53 AM in category daily, weather

When I was driving to work(!) this morning, there was a storm. It's been all over the news, even the national news. Louisville even made the front page of weather.com.

It rained. A lot. Like six inches in an hour, I think I heard. There was a lot of flooding.

But not in my basement.

So that's cool.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009
posted by dave at 12:32 AM in category daily, travel, weather

I was up there to work, of course. Because I was, at the time, the only single engineer at my company, I got to do all the traveling. I liked it. I'd already spent half a year in New Orleans, and I'd probably never have made it there otherwise. Double-ditto for Alaska.

My days always began at about 6:00. I'd get all bundled up and I'd go outside to start the car. Then I'd go back inside, take a shower and stuff like that, while the car heated up and the windows de-iced. If I was lucky, I'd be able to do all of this without the old man shuffling down and knocking on my door. He always asked me if I wanted any coffee, but I never wanted any.

During that time of year, the Sun wouldn't make an appearance until 10:00 AM or so, and then it would be gone again by 2:00 PM. Anchorage lies South of the Arctic circle, so it never quite gets down to zero hours of daylight in the Winter, and it never quite gets to twenty-four hours of daylight in the Summer. I know that those four hours of daylight did me a world of good. Just knowing that the Sun was shining outside, even if I couldn't see it from my windowless room.

Anyway, I'd go to work. This particular project was interesting to me, but probably not to anyone else, so I won't dwell on it. Except to say that static electricity and computers don't mix, and that Alaska in the Winter is so cold and dry that static electricity is a huge problem. I felt like some kind of super hero, the way the sparks were constantly shooting out of my fingers.

I totally forgot to mention the snow. There was about three feet of the stuff on the ground. Whatever had fallen since September or so was still there, joined layer-after-layer by new stuff. It was Alaska in January. Of course there was snow. I'd actually been expecting more, but people said it had been a dry Fall.

What got me to thinking about the snow was the seagulls.

You know how, back in the real world, when it snows they plow the parking lots and they usually leave a pile of snow somewhere kind of out of the way? Well, in Anchorage they do the same thing, except the resulting piles of snow are usually two stories tall and fifty feet in diameter.

One day I was standing outside work, smoking a cigarette, and there were some seagulls playing on the wind currents around one such mound. That's the only word to describe it - they were playing. Hovering at the top of the pile, where the wind was strongest, then diving down the other side, sometimes even turning somersaults in the air, and then going back and doing it again and again. It really was a cool thing to watch, and I bet I stayed out there for an hour, wishing I was a bird, because that really looked like fun.

Working all day was, of course, annoying. There I was in fucking Alaska and I couldn't do any sightseeing because it was always dark when I wasn't working. So my excursions to check out the natural beauty of the place would have to wait until the weekend. My weeknights were mostly spent shooting pool at the Billiard Palace. Back then, I would occasionally gamble a few dollars on my pool games. I'd win some and I'd lose some. Mostly I won, I think, except for this one dude who was a lot better than I was but I kept playing him because he was a friendly sort.

Remind me to tell you about all the earthquakes.

Monday, July 27, 2009
posted by dave at 2:31 AM in category daily, drink, travel, weather

It's funny that I'm calling this part one. That implies that there'll be additional parts. But I seriously doubt it. I'm really taxing my brain as it is, thinking about and writing about something that happened so long ago that it's almost folklore by default.

Anyway, it was 1996. Dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and primitive mammals spent their days scurrying to and fro and counting the days until they'd be in charge of things. I know. I was there. I was one such mammal.

I arrived in Alaska on January 2nd. It was my second trip to Anchorage, but the first one of any consequence or duration. I think the previous visit had been in the Spring of 1994, and it had only lasted a few days.

I wish I'd paid more attention. But, back then, I was too busy scurrying. And avoiding dinosaurs. And watching the sky for comets. And being cold.

I've looked at the weather pages on the internet, and I can't find confirmation, but the high temperature that first day was nineteen degrees below zero, according to the television lady. I remember that she was quite cute, as if that matters.

I spent my first night in a hotel. A Holiday Inn or some such. There was a brewpub in the hotel, and they had a pumpkin ale. Back then, I wasn't into beer at all. I mean, I knew that there was beer that I liked and beer that I didn't like, but I hadn't yet formed any theories as to why any one particular beer might be categorized one way or another. I was pretty sure that I didn't like lagers, and I was starting to suspect that I liked ales, but I'd gone no further that those two preliminary hypotheses.

So I had the pumpkin ale, and it was fucking yummy. Unlike anything I'd had before. I had three or four more.

But I digress.

The next day, my coworker arrived. He took over the hotel room, and I moved to the apartment that my company had secured. Fine with me. Mainly I just needed a place to smoke and watch TV and sleep, and an apartment seemed like a better place than a hotel. I don't know why.

The apartment was in the walk-out basement of a house in the center of town. There was a dude living in the house, and I knocked on his door to get a key to the apartment.

Anybody remember the old Captain Kangaroo TV show? Okay, remember Mr. Green Jeans from that show? Well, the dude who owned the house/apartment looked exactly like Mr. Green Jeans. But he didn't act like Mr. Green Jeans. Nope, this guy was between seventy and three-thousand years old, and, because of senility or brain-freeze or something, had the mental capacity of a turnip.

At first, I tried to make myself feel better by imagining that the dude was just a partier who was drunk all the time, but by the third or fourth time that he'd managed to wake me up by shoveling snow at 4:00 AM, I knew better.

I'm digressing again, dammit.

It was fucking cold.

The weather page on the internet is no help, but the hot lady on TV assured me that, for the first three weeks I spent in Anchorage, the high temperature was eighteen below zero. Then, on or about the 20th of January, it shot up to seven below zero.

Woo-hoo!

T-shirts and shorts became the uniform of the day. All over Anchorage, alabaster skin competed with reluctant sunlight in a contest to see which could cause the most blindness. Me, well I continued to dress like a normal person who was freezing to death - a cheechako in Alaskanese - with my coat and glove and boots and the like. I did learn an important lesson that day, though. For me, the dividing-line between cold and fucking cold is at ten degrees below zero.

There is a difference. There really is. At ten below zero, I can function. At eleven below zero, I might as well be a chunk of ice that won't melt until June.

In Anchorage, they say, there are three seasons each year.

Winter lasts from late August until April or so. Next is Breakup, during which the snow and ice decides that it's maybe time to start thinking about melting and forming puddles. The more disgusting the puddles, the better.

The third season is road construction, and that lasts from the end of Breakup until the beginning of Winter, or for about a week and a half during late July and early August.

Wow, I've already written more than I expected, and I haven't even gotten to the good part yet.

Stay tuned for part two if I ever get around to writing it.

Saturday, July 25, 2009
posted by dave at 12:16 AM in category daily

Still giving my brain a vacation. It deserves a vacation. These are my fingers talking now. Hi! We're drunk, I think!

Tonight was cool. We built a fireplace thingy in the driveway, and we made a fire therein, and we drank some beer.

These are Dave's fingers, signing off for the night.

Friday, July 24, 2009
posted by dave at 1:37 PM in category daily

Once again, I'm simply letting my fingers twitch against the keyboard, giving my brain a rest. My poor brain, it's been so overworked lately. Trying to fix things or at least figure them out. Nothing to show for all that effort, though. Things are still just as broken and confusing as ever.

---

Anyway, I totally want to go somewhere this weekend. I want to go to Indianapolis, but that would be weird. SassyGirl wants to go to Oregon, but that would be even weirder. Although, I guess if we went to Oregon, we could stop in Omaha and I could see some of my friends there. Like my old friend Mike, who I talked to the other night, for the first time since early 1994. Boy did he have some catching up to do.

---

This week my phone's been ringing off the hook about job opportunities. None have panned-out yet, though. I'm still fairly hopeful. This morning I got a call about a job for which I'm not particularly qualified, but one of my former coworkers is qualified, so I forwarded the contact information around. That was my good deed for the day.

---

Thanks to some informal surveys, I'm now even more convinced that I am not being weird about this. I already knew that I was acting reasonably given the fucked-up circumstances, but it's nice to have confirmation, especially when it's from people who are smarter than I am.

---

I'm starving to death now. I'm always starving, but then I never eat much.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009
posted by dave at 1:08 AM in category daily

I remember, but I wish I could remember more.

I remember Dad getting Dina and me out of bed, carrying her and half-dragging me to the living room.

I remember the TV, and the grainy pictures thereon. White-suited men bouncing around a white rock-strewn plain. An oddly-stiff flag neither waving nor sagging nor flapping. I remember Mom giggling about something or other, almost uncontrollably.

When they showed that flag, that was the first time I ever saw my dad cry. And it was the last time, for almost nineteen years. Until my mom's funeral.

I wish I could remember more about that night, forty years ago.

But I was just a little kid, after all.

Sunday, July 19, 2009
posted by dave at 12:13 PM in category daily, drink

So I went to the thingy. I went by myself, though that wasn't my preference. I'd invited KittenDamsel, but she was being weird. Then I'd invited LaptopGirl, but she'd thought I was being weird. This latter situation almost made me want to just stay home and pout, but then I called BadPickleGirl and she was going. Plus I was pretty sure that SpoonsGirl would be there, so odds were pretty good that I'd have someone to talk to at the thingy. Even better would have been if Eric and Teri would have gone, but they had some reunion to go to. Oh well.

I'd decided that Gumballhead would be my beer of choice for the evening. I was going to drive to Clarksville to get some, but BadPickleGirl said that the store right there in Greenville carried it. Even though I was doubtful, that's where I ended up going. BadPickleGirl was right, Gumballhead was available. So I got a warm six-pack of that and also a twelve-pack of Fat Tire and went to Dina's.

There were, of course, a million people there. Most of them I didn't know. But that was okay. I talked to BadPickleGirl and SpoonsGirl and SpoonsGirl's husband for most of the night. Over the course of about nine hours, I had a couple Fat Tires (1354) and four Gumballheads (1190). I talked to the aforementioned people. I watched the other people. I didn't glare at my phone too much.

And there were kitties all over the place. I got to pet some of them, and the youngest kitten did a decent job of shredding my hand as I played with it. I like kittens.

Usually I like to make an early Batmanesque exit from Dina's parties, so I have time to go to Rich O's. But last night I stayed until midnight or so, and I was one of the last people to leave.

I guess that's it.

Sunday, July 12, 2009
posted by dave at 7:36 AM in category daily

So I'm thinking, once again, that I need to get away from here for a night. I get these itchy feet fairly often. The last time was Friday. I was all set to go up to Noblesville for the night. That's where the Barley Island Brewpub is located. I was craving myself some Dirty Helen and some Barfly on tap.

It's so weird that I like Barfly. I don't like very many IPAs at all. I wouldn't even have tried it if she hadn't asked me to. Now it's one of my favorites.

I ended up staying close to home Friday. That happens all the time, too. I get all fired-up about going out of town, and then I change my mind and end up not going anywhere. Right now, I'm thinking that I want to go to Covington, so that means that, in all likelihood, I'll stay home and maybe just go to Jack's tonight.

I stayed at my house last night. A Saturday night, wasted. I'm pissed about that, but it was for the best, I think.

And I'm so damn tired all the time. And I fubared my neck somehow. And I'm all alone.

And blah blah blah and waah waah waah.

No wonder I usually end up canceling my trips. I don't want to go anywhere with me, either.

Sometimes I get pissed. I wish I could stay that way. It seems more normal to me, and it would probably seem more normal to everyone else. Some people might even applaud.

Saturday, June 27, 2009
posted by dave at 8:05 AM in category daily

I know that I'm probably jumping the gun. Things fall apart all the time, but I have a feeling that it's not going to happen this time. I'm not sure why I feel this way. Probably a combination of optimism and desperation.

I found myself sitting in my garage last night, planning my route and coming up with a rudimentary itinerary. I gave very little thought to getting prepared, but I never do that. That's not the fun part, after all. That's the part that will suck. Figuring out what to take, what to leave. Who to tell and what to tell them.

Who to invite?

Whoa, where did that thought come from?

I must contemplate this idea further...

Sunday, June 21, 2009
posted by dave at 5:58 AM in category daily

I'm thinking that I won't bother writing a blog entry about last night, as the title pretty much says it all.

'Cause I'm all efficient and shit.

And rabid.

And straight, in case the title made you wonder.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009
posted by dave at 8:09 AM in category daily, drink, travel

So Sunday morning I found myself afflicted with a bad case of wanderlust. I didn't really know where I wanted to go, I just knew it had to be somewhere that wasn't New Albany. I looked at Nashville and Indianapolis and even Chicago, but eventually decided on Covington. It's not a big city, but it's got everything I need, especially distance from home.

I called KittenDamsel and invited her along. She declined, saying she'd had a long night. Then she said she might drive up there and meet me. I took this as "No way am I going to Covington" because that's how my brain works. Oh well. More beer for me then.

First thing I needed to do, however, was buy a laptop. I'll need this for when I travel, whether it's for work or play. When my former employer eliminated my position, they had the nerve to take their company-owned laptop back. Imagine that. So I stopped at Best Buy, looked at their selection, and bought an el-cheapo Compaq that would suit my meager needs. Thusly armed, I drove to Covington. It's only a two-hour drive.

After I'd arrived, and updated RockGirl with my location - RockGirl knows everything about my life - I settled into my usual Covington routine. I checked into the Holiday Inn, threw my shit into the room, and walked across the street to Skyline Chili for lunch. Yummy. Then I walked up to The Cock & Bull for a couple pints of yummy Moerlein OTR (463). While I was there, drinking my beer and watching a baseball game on TV, KittenDamsel called and said she was on her way. Yay!

I had some time to kill, so I went back to the hotel and messed with my new laptop for a while until KittenDamsel arrived. She wanted to hear polka music for some stupid reason, so we drove over to the Hofbrauhaus in nearby Newport and had dinner. I don't like that place. Not only is it too loud, it's too loud with polka music. The food was good, though.

After dinner, we walked across this purple bridge spanning the Ohio River, and dicked around there for a while. Then we drove back to the hotel, parked, and walked up to the MainStrasse area where all the bars are. After that the night got a little blurry. I know that I had three more OTRs (523) and a couple Newcastles (13818) as we walked around to various bars and clubs. It was a nice warm night, but not too warm. It was almost perfect, in fact. Especially the company. We drank too much, but neither of us got sick, so that was good.

Monday morning we were both a little hung-over. Not surprising. What was surprising was that KittenDamsel wanted to go to King's Island, a local amusement park. She'd already called in sick, and I certainly didn't have any reason come home right away, so to King's Island we went.

This was the first time I'd been there since I was 14 or so. It's much bigger now, and maybe not as crowded, and there were no dinosaurs to be seen. It was a fun few hours, except for that last roller coaster that went upside-down and made me queasy.

It was a really nice time up there. I'm really glad that I went, and I'm really glad that KittenDamsel could make it. She almost managed to distract me from thoughts of LaptopGirl. Almost. And I think I almost managed to distract her from thoughts of her ex-boyfriend. Almost.

It was kinda weird to spend all that time with her and then have to drive home separately, but oh well.

Oh yeah, I also bought a case of OTR and brought it home. So that gives me something to look forward to.

Monday, June 8, 2009
posted by dave at 5:38 PM in category daily

I can't remember ever being so tired, even last week with all of the ridiculous insomnia.

We had quite a fun weekend, if I do say so myself, and I do say so. But wow am I tired now.

In fact, I think I'm too tired to think straight, left alone write anything.

One thing I did want to say, though, is that when you get motion sickness from a roller coaster, and then you almost immediately get into your truck and drive for two hours, that motion sickness stays with you for the entire drive. It's not as much fun as I make it seem.

And the other weird thing is that I still don't feel like we're a couple. Probably because we're not a couple. Too much baggage on both sides.

Sunday, June 7, 2009
posted by dave at 3:13 AM in category daily, drink

It was a good day. Long, but good. Started at about 4:00 this morning at Denny's, and ending I hope very soon.

I was supposed to have Indian food with HatGirl, but she wasn't feeling well. I was disappointed about not getting to see HatGirl, but I hadn't been particularly looking forward to Indian food, so I guess it all worked out.

Problem was, I'd gotten myself all motivated to leave my house, and so I had to come up with some other reason to do so. I tried to book a hotel room in Covington. I was going to surprise KittenDamsel with an invitation because we were supposed to go there last weekend. But Covington was all booked up. I tried three hotels and there were no rooms available in any of them.

Next I tried to just book a room at the local hotel/casino, but they were booked, too.

Shit!

We ended up going down to the casino anyway. We did some gambling - I managed to turn $100 into about $105 playing blackjack - and we stuffed ourselves silly at the buffet. I was disappointed that their Asian noodle salad wasn't on the buffet today, but their Asian meatballs were, so I stuffed myself on those and kung pao chicken and moo goo gai pan. KittenDamsel had fish, because she's boring and stuff.

There was also beer consumed at their Legends bar. I had some Newcastles (13774) and she had some swill, because she's boring and stuff.

Later, what was supposed to be an hour long nap somehow turned into an almost six-hour nap. We have no idea how that happened. KittenDamsel was extremely late in meeting her friends, and I was extremely behind in my phone-glaring quota for the night.

So we parted company. I went to Rich O's and, after I'd glared at my phone for an hour, felt better. The Marzen (11568) didn't hurt matters either. It was quite crowded at Rich O's, survivors from some beer thingy they'd had in Clarksville. Most of the regulars were there, and some of the irregulars. I didn't really talk to anyone except NotHideousGirl and UPSDude.

After Rich O's closed, I came home. I've been glaring at my phone ever since, so I think I've satisfied my quota. Tomorrow it starts over again.

Thursday, June 4, 2009
posted by dave at 7:24 AM in category daily, ramblings

I'm at Denny's early today, or maybe I'm here late last night. Whatever, it's 3:49 right now, so it's something fucked up.

It's very crowded here right now. And LOUD. At least 90% of the noise is coming from the corner booth, and at least 99% of that noise is coming from one person, a somewhat round girl who I shall call Loudy McLoudandfat. Her cackling is threatening to liquefy my bones. That would be gross.

The remaining 10% of the noise, itself almost ear-splitting, emanates from a group of guys dorks playing some kind of trivia game at the center table. I'm fairly certain that sexual favors are being wagered, and that they don't really care who wins the game, because they'll all get to "win" later in the parking lot. Hint hint wink wink.

And finally, over in the corner, is an old guy, as quiet as I am and probably as miserable as I am because of these auditory assailants.

My plan, such as it was, was to come here and scribble out a quick entry, then have breakfast with DoableGirl. My plan, such as it was, did not include arriving at 3:45 in the flipping morning. So now I've got to improvise. I've got at least another hour to kill, and I don't know if I've got an hour's worth of words inside me, straining to escape. I guess I'll find out.

It's hard to stay in a writey mood in this place. Usually it's too quiet. Sometimes, like this morning, it's too loud. It's weird, though, that I can sit in a bar and write for hours but in this place even 15 minutes seems too long. It's not that different from a bar.

Anyway, earlier tonight I was thinking about my readers. Not any of my specific readers, but my readers in general. My generic readers.

Some of you people have stuck with me for years. Out of habit, possible, the inertia of interest that's long since faded. Or maybe that's not fair. Maybe there's still genuine interest out there somewhere, a curiosity, perhaps, about what exactly the fuck happened.

Those readers, the curious ones, are owed something. There's a debt there. There's always been an unspoken agreement. I write about my life, and people read it. Well, I haven't been holding up my end of the bargain lately, and I know it. The more that people read my irrelevant drivel, the more into the red I sink.

I fear, however, that this is a debt which will never be repaid in full. There are too many things about which I simply cannot write. Too many feelings to be hurt, too many fingers to point, and too much blame to assign.

See, this blog isn't about me, and it hasn't been about me for a very long time. It's been about something else. A feeling or a desire or a question or an answer, all intertwined and all pervasive. Everything that I wrote was about that. Everything, even if it didn't seem that way to those of you reading. And now it's got too stop. It's become just too damn intense.

Luckily, this blog is no longer about that thing at all. Now, it's about trying to survive even as I wonder if I want to survive.

And, as long as I'm being forthcoming, nothing I've written has been written for me, or for you generic readers out there in Internetland. Nope, all of it, every single word that I've written in the last half-decade, has been written to and for one very specific reader. A reader who is probably wondering, as she reads this sentence, "Is he talking about me?"

Of course I am, silly girl. And that also has to stop. Again, way too intense.

Now, where was I going with all this drivel?

Doesn't matter, because my date is here. It's about time. I'm starving.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009
posted by dave at 7:05 AM in category daily

I'm at Denny's again this morning. I guess it's becoming a habit, though I hope it's a short-lived one. I'd much rather be sleeping, you know, like a normal person.

I came here hoping, after I'd eaten, to write something good, but I ended up eating breakfast with DoableGirl and that seems to have disrupted the flow of whatever creative juices I possess.

Oh well.

Pretty girls should always take priority.

Monday, June 1, 2009
posted by dave at 1:50 AM in category daily

Remember when the glaciers covered all of the land that would someday become Canada, and a lot of the land that would someday become the United States?

Well, right after those glaciers retreated Northward, back to where they belonged, that was the last time I talked to MixedSignalGirl.

Until tonight.

That was exactly what I needed.

Sunday, May 31, 2009
posted by dave at 8:34 AM in category daily, ramblings, travel

I've had this thought sliding around in my head for a few days. It's a slippery bastard, though, and I never can seem to maintain a grip on it. Long enough to recognize it, but not long enough to really get a good look. I suspect that, eventually, this thought will be captured and dissected into a blog entry. But not today.

---

I'm at Denny's again this morning. I got here late, for me. It's 7:15 as I write this sentence. I guess I timed things just right, as I pretty much have the place to myself. I see an elderly couple out front. I bet they're going to church when they leave here. I hope they find what they're looking for.

---

KittenDamsel and I were supposed to go to Covington last night. But then I was reminded that there was a party at my sister's house, for my niece and her fiancé. So I went there instead. KittenDamsel didn't want to go because, she said, she wouldn't know anyone. Well, out of the 7.5 million people there, I only knew perhaps a dozen. Maybe I'll go to Covington today. Maybe she'll take Monday off and come with me. Maybe pigs will fly. We'll see.

---

I wonder what time Home Depot opens. I could buy some 4x4s and some Quickrete and work on my swing. I can't believe I've let it go this long, but I guess I've been distracted. I've never done anything with concrete before. I'm afraid I'll make a mistake and get trapped somehow. A permanent monument to my own ineptitude.

---

I guess there's just no way that I can go anywhere without running away from here. I'm coming to grips with that. I can run, perhaps because I must run. The thought of running away is not what's giving me pause. Nope, it's the stark realization that, by running somewhere else, I'd also be giving up on here. That's what scares me. I'm just not ready to give up, and I fear that I never will be ready.

I've written before that I think fate is a silly concept, but I just can't shake this feeling, this certainty, that there's a reason for all this. A reason that I'm sitting at a Denny's early on a Sunday morning and thinking about her, missing her. This series of events and emotions that was set into motion all those years ago, there is a reason. I just don't know what that reason is. Perhaps its purpose is to destroy me.

So far, so good.

---

The crowd is starting to pour in now. More church people, I bet. I guess it's nice to have faith in something. I can't say that their faith is any more misplaced than my own.

Saturday, May 30, 2009
posted by dave at 7:20 AM in category daily

I'm at Denny's again. Couldn't sleep again.

DoableGirl is back. I bet she was hoping I'd be here.

This insomnia is getting very annoying. The hours and days and weeks blur together, just like all of my thoughts. I don't see how, but I'm somehow managing to survive on two or three hours of sleep every day. And sometimes less than that. I wish I could say that I'm getting a lot done, that I'm taking full advantage of all the extra time I have, but I'm not. Unless you count shooting pool. I'm doing a lot of that. But of course I suck because I'm so damn tired.

I wonder what DoableGirl's problems are. I'm sure she's got some. She's not perfect like I am, totally unencumbered by any baggage whatsoever.

Thursday, May 28, 2009
posted by dave at 7:14 AM in category daily

I'm at Denny's again. It's 5:15 Thursday morning as I write this sentence. I'm once again wide awake. I still feel like writing - I even blew the cobwebs off my notebook and brought it along - but I still don't have a topic.

I suppose I'll just wing it.

It's much more crowded here now than it was yesterday morning. Not that crowded is at all a fair or accurate word to describe things here now.

Yesterday some hippie dude and I had the entire place to ourselves. Now, there are five of us in the smoking section, and another half-dozen or so in the main eating area. The same hippie dude is here again. Or maybe he's stillhere. I never saw him leave, and he's sitting in the same place he sat yesterday. He's got his laptop and his paperwork scattered all over his table. He's here for the long haul, I suspect.

Moving my gaze around the room clockwise, I next see two old guys, sitting at different tables but each possessed of the same blank stare.

And, directly in front of me at the next table, there's a girl. There's always a girl in my stories, it seems. This particular girl smiled at me when I came in, and I smiled back. Now she's reading on her laptop and I'm looking at the back of her head and trying to remember how pretty she is. Tall, thin, with short brown hair pulled into a ponytail of sorts. Definitely doable, I think, though of course I'll be doing no such thing.

---

Food was good as always. I didn't eat it all, though. Perhaps my appetite has gone the way of my sleepiness. Oh well.

While I ate what I ate and picked at what I didn't eat, one of the vacant-eyed old guys left and the other one got himself a female companion. His wife or girlfriend, I suspect. Good for him.

Also, two youngish guys arrived, and now they sit in the corner booth talking to each other quietly but not quietly enough to keep from disturbing the ambience of this place at this hour.

The hippie dude is still typing away, and the pretty girl is still reading away.

Me?

I'm scribbling away in my notebook, of course. What a silly question.

---

It's 6:00 now, and the sky is starting to lighten. Though I can't hear them, I'm sure that birds are out there tweeting and whistling. And, I imagine, alarm clocks are going off all over the place as normal people begin their days.

I'll be going home soon, though I don't know why. I guess to type this entry into my computer. Not to sleep, that's for sure. I'm having lunch with HatGirl in six hours, and I can't risk missing that. I've flaked on her far too often lately.

I don't know why I go home at all anymore except to take care of my cats.

I've found that, for the last several weeks, that damn place nearly suffocates me with its emptiness. So I leave, all the time. I go to wherever there are people. Not to engage in any conversations, but instead to leverage the pressure of societal expectations as a crutch, to keep myself from falling over, or as a tight wrap, to keep myself from falling apart.

These people who I don't know and don't really care to know, they're some of my best friends lately. I should put them on my Christmas card list, thought of course I have no such list.

---

Well, DoableGirl has packed up her stuff and gone off to wherever girls like her go at times like this.

I suppose that's as good a cue for me to leave as I'm going to get.

Sunday, May 24, 2009
posted by dave at 4:38 AM in category daily

I'm stuffed now. The food was fantastic. I should go to Denny's more often.

I told RingGirl that I'm in the middle of a very tough breakup. Funny how words can be both a bald-faced lie and the utter truth at the same time.

Oh, yeah - the ring is a prop, to scare away undesirables.

Saturday, May 23, 2009
posted by dave at 3:33 PM in category daily

I managed to get eight hours of sleep. I don't think that I care that they were all during the daytime.

I'd probably have slept longer except my cat Buddy jumped onto the bed and began loudly singing his sad song about starving to death. I got up and dumped some cat food into the bowl - I don't know why they can't do that themselves - and so now I'm awake and up. And the cats are sated and asleep.

I'm thinking fairly clearly right now. It's almost like the human brain needs sleep to help it function properly. Someone should study this - I may be onto something.

Anyway, about that other thing. I'm disappointed, of course. But I got exactly the reaction that I was expecting, so at least shock is off the menu for today. And that's enough about that, I think.

posted by dave at 2:16 AM in category daily

I was going to write a blog entry tonight, I really was. But the damn thing morphed into an email. A personal email.

So I wrote and I wrote and I wrote the email, and then I sent it off. To be read, I suppose. To be believed, I hope. To be understood, well I can't say I'm very confident about that.

But still, two out of three isn't bad.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009
posted by dave at 3:31 PM in category daily, drink

My Monday night started out pleasantly enough. KittenDamsel bought me dinner (Wendy's) in exchange for me hooking her DVD player up correctly. I'd told her last weekend that she could get a much better picture and 5-channel sound just by using the proper cables and connections, but she played the girl-card, and so I offered to fix things for her.

Besides eating dinner and crawling around behind her entertainment center, I spent a lot of time poking my finger into her spiffy new sunburn and watching it change colors. Mesmerizing.

Then I went to Rich O's. While there, I alternated between glaring at my phone and glaring at the door. Neither activity proved fruitful. After PearlGirl and her boyfriend left, there really wasn't anyone there I felt like talking to, so I picked up my shit and moved to the bar to finish my Marzen (11138). By 9:30 I was really bored, and my eyes were kind of tired from all the glaring, so I left. But then I remembered that there was no place to go, so I went back to Rich O's.

I was having a nice glass of Franziskaner (39) when OddlyFamiliarGirl came in. So that was nice. We talked and whatever. I switched to Diet Coke. I left again at midnight when Rich O's closed.

That's when it got annoying.

I got pulled over. Or, actually, I went to the haunted Burger King and the cop followed me with his lights flashing, so maybe that doesn't really count as getting pulled over. I'm sure he would have pulled me over if I hadn't been stopping anyway.

The guy came up to my truck and asked for the usual paperwork. I gave him my license and, while I was fishing for my current registration, he told me that I hadn't used my turn signal when turning onto Grant Line Road. I felt like calling bullshit on that. I always use my turn signal, even when I'm leaving my own driveway, but I figured it would be his word against mine. Plus, he was the one with the gun.

He asked me, of course, where I was coming from. I said Rich O's. So he asked me, of course, how much I'd had to drink. I said a Marzen (11138) and a Franziskaner (39). Upon seeing the quizzical look on his face, I clarified that I'd had two beers.

I realize that "two beers" is probably the standard answer given by people under suspicion, so I wasn't surprised at all when he had me take off my glasses and follow his pen around with my eyes. I guess that test didn't yield the result that he wanted, because then he went back to his car for five years, and came back and had me blow into a thingy. As I was not immediately arrested, I knew I'd passed that test as well.

I will admit, however, that for a few moments there I was concerned that I might have grossly miscalculated.

And the guy was just doing his job, helping to keep us all safe. I have a lot of respect for (most) cops.

He ended up giving me a ticket for not using my turn signal, and then he sent me on my way.

I'd originally stopped at the haunted Burger King to get something to eat. But the crap with the cop had lasted just long enough, and they were closed by the time the cop left. So I came home instead.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009
posted by dave at 12:27 PM in category daily

I'm starving. I face this decision every day. I could go to Bearno's where I can get a Newcastle but I don't like the food as much, or I can go to Sam's where I like the food but I have to settle for Blue Moon or Amber Bock.

Decisions, decisions...

I think I'll do Sam's today.

Or maybe Bearno's.

I know that everyone cares where I go for lunch.

Saturday, May 2, 2009
posted by dave at 1:01 AM in category daily

So a few weeks ago - I could tell you the exact date, but I'd have to look it up - this chick was hitting on me. I was almost positive.

Well, tonight I became positive, because she fucking did it again. With zero subtlety.

She was unsuccessful.

But it was still nice to know that I wasn't imagining things before.

---

Sometimes there are too many women.

Like tonight, before the drama at Rich O's, I sat at Buckhead having dinner with HatGirl...

HatGirl!

Yay!

...and her equally hot friend PokerGirl, and then BadPickleGirl started texting me about going to some bar I never heard of before.

I had to decline, of course, but I promised to maybe see BadPickleGirl on Saturday.

I'm such a tease sometimes.

---

And then, after the drama at Rich O's with MaybeCrazyGirl hitting on me, YoungGirl called me to ask me to come over.

I declined that offer as well.

I know why I declined, but I don't want to say.

It had nothing to do with her, though.

---

Today I slept almost all damn day. So now I feel like I may never be tired again.

---

It was really packed at Rich O's tonight. I don't know why.

---

I also got to see ImprobablyHotMarriedGirl when I first went in. That was cool. I gave her a big hug and felt a big bump - she's pregnant. So congratulations to her!

---

I might be back typing some more stuff. Or maybe not.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
posted by dave at 5:36 PM in category daily

I had to wait until I wrote this entry. And, of course, in the week that's passed since I thought of it, it's become less funny. You've been warned.

I was at Rich O's the other night - I think it was Wednesday - talking to various regulars and irregulars. In that place, I try to steer clear of the usual topics of politics, religion, music and sports. The first two because those conversations always lead to people revealing their stupidity, and the last two because I neither know nor care about those things.

So that usually means that I either talk about beer, or I talk about women.

Women are weird. If you've never read this blog before, then that might come as a shock to you, but trust me - they're weird.

So let's take a guy. But not a regular guy, one instead who has three particular qualities. He's an asshole, and he plays guitar, and he's unemployed.

The thing about that guy, see, is that I absolutely guarantee that he has a girlfriend.

Those three qualities, taken separately, would seem to be either neutral or even negative qualities. But put those three qualities together, and they form some kind of magical sphere - a triumvirate of attractiveness - for the guy. Women find him irresistible.

Weird, like I said. But you can't prove me wrong, because I'm not wrong. If a guy has all three of those qualities, he's got a girlfriend, or at least getting some steady action.

Now, lacking those three qualities doesn't automatically mean that a guy's going to die alone and unloved, but it might. So, in order to foster my own chances of having someone actually cry at my funeral, I'm taking some steps.

First, I'm really not an asshole, though I can act like one at times. I need to do it more often. Recent events in my life have already given me a shove in that direction, so it's only getting easier.

Second, I've been trying to learn to play guitar. For over a year and a half now. I still suck, but not as much as I once did.

Third, I lost my job last Tuesday.

Yes, that's right. I've been made into a victim of this recession, along with another 250 or so people from my old company. So, for now anyway, I've got the unemployment requirement nailed.

Anyway, I had to wait before I wrote about losing my job. My sisters and my niece were on a trip to Europe, and I didn't want to impact their enjoyment. But now they're back, so they can be miserable right along with me.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
posted by dave at 11:55 AM in category daily

Last night, I sent RockGirl this email, with the subject of "Yay!"

And yay and yay and yay! I get to have lunch with HatGirl tomorrow.

It's been 17 billion years since I've seen her. *

I'm so excited!

Then this morning I sent her this email, with the subject of "Wah!"
HatGirl flaked on lunch.
* - 8 days without HatGirl is the equivalent of 17 billion years. I did the math.

Thursday, April 23, 2009
posted by dave at 12:55 PM in category daily

That's what it is, annoying. After the shock and the denial, I mean.

Monday, April 20, 2009
posted by dave at 10:04 AM in category daily, drink, entertainment, pictures

click for larger image
One of the weird things was how much that one dude loved my truck. He kept asking me questions about it like what year it was and how many miles it had. He commented on what a shame it was that my rear bumper had some rust. I swear he was hitting on my truck.

Then we walked a mile or so to HatGirl's car, so we could put our extra crap in there and not have to lug it around all day. Next, we walked all the way back to my truck. We walked all the way back to my truck because I'm retarded. I'd left our tickets for the craft beer tent thingy there. When we got back to the parking lot the dude was still admiring my truck. I think he had an erection, but I was afraid to look too closely.

Then we walked back to the riverfront. The craft beer tent thingy didn't open until 2:00, and it was only 12:30, so we went into Hooters where my cousin Jeff awaited. He'd gotten us free wristbands. That was nice of him. We had some Diet Cokes and sat around for a while.

click for larger image
Then we went and stood in line to get into the beer tent thingy. We had plenty of time then for people-watching. I came to the conclusion that HatGirl and I were the coolest people around. But I might be biased.

Oh, and we saw TremensGirl and Bubbles walking around, so that was nice.

Once the thingy opened, we got something to eat and then went down this steep-ass hill to the river. We watched the airshow, which was very cool. There was a fucking helicopter doing fucking loop-de-loops. I didn't think that was even possible in a helicopter. During this period I had myself a Gumballhead (534). This is also when the events portrayed in the comic two entries ago happened, so I had myself 14 ounces of Upland Wheat (297), too.

click for larger image
At one point HatGirl may have gotten a little tired. It was hard to tell for sure. I did, however, get a little concerned that the FBI might swoop in to recapture the unibomber.

click for larger image
Then she spent the rest of the night freezing to death because it was only 70 degrees or something. HatGirl has heat issues sometimes. I worry about her, and wonder how she survives the Winters.

This was about when I had myself another Gumballhead (550). It was yummy.

click for larger image
The fireworks were, of course, totally awesome, and were the reason that everyone was there. The airshow was introduced as a way to entice people to show up early. Also, it's hard to take pictures of fireworks, especially with a blackberry.

Anyway, once the fireworks were over, we were going to hang out for a while, but all of the bars closed early, so we went and sat in HatGirl's car for a half-hour or so, waiting for traffic to start moving. Then we went to White Castle then she drove me to my house.

It was a really fun day, and I only missed a certain person a million times, instead of the asstillion times I'd been predicting.

When HatGirl took me to get my truck yesterday, I'll admit that I was a little disappointed that the dude hadn't washed and waxed it for me. I guess I should have just been grateful that it wasn't covered with his semen.

Sunday, April 19, 2009
posted by dave at 11:51 AM in category daily, weather

Such a stupid rainy day. Yesterday was almost perfect weather, though, so I guess today should be allowed to be stupid if that's the way it really wants to be.

But this would have been a good day to work on getting my swing fixed, if I could have talked my sister's husband into helping. And if it wasn't raining.

---

Sometime today HatGirl will take me to get my truck from Jeffersonville. I'm sure that will be the highlight of my day.

As things turned out, our transportation arrangements for yesterday were way too complicated. What we did was, (a) I met her Friday near the riverfront, (b) we parked her car, (c) I took her home, then on Saturday (d) I picked her up in my truck, (e) we parked a couple of miles from the riverfront, (f) walked to the riverfront, and then after the show (g) she drove me home in her car, and then today (h) she'll come and drive me to get my truck.

What we could have done, as it turned out, was just drive my truck Saturday, park and walk, and then walk back to my truck after the show.

It's that 20/20 hindsight thing. Next year, we'll know better.

Plus the parking sticker for HatGirl's car cost $50.

---

I may be housing some dogs for a while. My cats will be thrilled, I'm sure.

---

My sisters and my niece are in Ireland now. I'm totally jealous.

---

I need to do laundry.

Friday, April 17, 2009
posted by dave at 9:16 PM in category daily, drink, pictures

The first part of the day consisted of work, punctuated by lunch at Wendy's with HatGirl. I only mention that because, after work, I had dinner with HatGirl at Buckhead in Jeffersonville. I only mention that because tomorrow HatGirl and I are going to this fireworks thingy. I only mention that because, as I said a few entries ago, I got to see HatGirl at Rich O's on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Like I've already said, HatGirl is doing one hell of a job keeping me distracted. In other words...

HatGirl!

Yay!

click for larger image
So we were talking today about how I'm bound to get bored with seeing HatGirl all the time. Before too long at this rate, I won't be able to take a damn piss without getting some splatter on her. And not in a kinky way. So the joke was that I'd have to get her a new shirt to replace her HatGirl! Yay! shirt. The new one would say HatGirl. Yawn.

It was funny to us.

I will never get tired of HatGirl, by the way.

So then after dinner - I had a Paulaner Hefeweissbier (607) - I decided to stop at Rich O's. You know, just for a change of pace, also known as a Schlenkerla Marzen (10299).

click for larger image
I went to the bar to order my beer, heard my name called, and turned around to see none other than BadPickleGirl. So that's twice in a week for her, and that's even more unusual than seeing HatGirl four out of five days will be. Oops, five out of six days, because I'll see HatGirl again on Sunday.

This is, from right to left, the lovely BadPickleGirl, my lovely self, and the lovely friend of BadPickleGirl who doesn't get a nickname unless I see her again.

Saturday, April 11, 2009
posted by dave at 11:42 AM in category daily, drink, travel

Omaha was just too far away, I finally realized. I really wanted to be there, but I didn't want to go there. It's a 13-hour drive, after all.

But I still wanted and needed to go somewhere, just to get away from this situation for a night. So, I went to Covington KY.

The drive up was uneventful for the most part, except for the inevitable slew of emails and texts that always start streaming in whenever I'm driving. I replied to those as well as I could and managed to not get myself killed in the process.

When I was about halfway to Covington, SassyGirl called! We talked for a half-hour or so as I made my way up I-71. She and JauntyGirl are in Las Vegas, of all places. And so, of course, is HatGirl. And StupidGirl, of course, lives there. So three of my favorite women on Earth are all in Las Vegas at the same time. I'm a little surprised that MixedSignalGirl didn't call me to tell me that she was there as well.

And there I was, going to stupid Covington KY.

Once I arrived, I had my usual Covington lunch at Skyline Chili, then drove the short distance (it was raining) to the Mainstrasse area and went into the Cock & Bull bar. Not much has changed since I was last there in November, and that was good. And they still had Moerlein OTR on tap!

Yay!

So I had a couple pints of that (400) and decided that I'd be spending the night in Covington. I hadn't really made up my mind until then. I went and got myself a hotel room and took a nap for a couple of hours.

Went back to the Cock & Bull bar at 8:00 or so. I ordered an OTR, but they'd changed kegs and there was something wrong with it, so I only had a few sips (403) before switching to Newcastle. Then, after my Newcastle (12578) I decided to risk the OTR again. I figured maybe the glass had just been soapy or something. Well, I guess I was right, because my next OTR (423) was just fine.

Switched to Diet Coke and then, once the Cock & Bull got too crowded, I went back to the hotel and tried to sleep.

At 12:30 or so I gave up on sleep and drove home.

It has been proposed that it was weird for me to drive home last night. Perhaps, but I could tell that it was going to be a long sleepless night for me, and I was really dreading driving home this morning on little or no sleep. Better, I reasoned, to just drive home last night when I was still semi-alert. So that's what I did.

I was still awake at 5:00 when HatGirl started texting me from Las Vegas. I didn't complain because (a) it was HatGirl, and (b) I was awake anyway.

I think I finally got to sleep at 6:30 or so. Then I was awakened at 10:30 with an accusatory email.

posted by dave at 4:12 AM in category daily

Still fucking awake.

Friday, April 10, 2009
posted by dave at 1:50 AM in category daily, drink, pictures

click for larger image
Because HatGirl is so nice, and also because she is so mean, she sent me a picture of herself in Las Vegas.

Las Vegas is so lucky!

So I dropped HatGirl off at the airport, and hung out there with her for an hour or so before she had to go through security. Next, I was planning to just go over to Rich O's because I was meeting BadPickleGirl and some other people at 5:30 or so. But around 4:00 I found myself suddenly starving to death. I mean, I was so hungry that I was actually shaking a little bit. So I went to the haunted Burger King and scarfed down some food. After that I felt better, but my stomach was a little queasy.

I went to Rich O's. I sat at the throne and had a couple glasses of Diet Coke to calm my stomach. I glared at my phone. I waited for BadPickleGirl.

Once they all showed up, it was a pleasant enough evening. I had some glasses of Schlenkerla Marzen (10040) and then a Diet Coke. It was nice to be able to talk to some people closer to my own age.

I came home at 10:00 or so, then slept for a couple of hours before sleep once again escaped my grasp.

Tomorrow I want to take a trip.

Thursday, April 9, 2009
posted by dave at 11:48 AM in category daily

The good news is that I'm taking HatGirl to the airport in a couple of hours.

HatGirl!

Yay!

The bad news is that I'm taking HatGirl to the airport in a couple of hours.

Days and days without HatGirl!

Boo!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009
posted by dave at 4:31 AM in category daily

Managed to find some work to do, and that bored me enough that I'm ready to challenge sleep again. I'm mildly optimistic, because I don't have to go in to work today.

Wish me luck!

Saturday, April 4, 2009
posted by dave at 10:10 PM in category daily, pictures

click for larger image
A zoomed and black & white version of this picture hangs on the wall at Rich O's, in commemoration of DaveFest. SassyGirl and I enjoying the opening night of that festival.

Anyway, today this one chick noticed this picture on the wall. "So all I have to do is kiss you and I can get my picture on the wall, too?" she asked.

"Sure," I said. "And bring all your friends. We'll cover the entire wall eventually."

We never did follow up on that plan. I was too tired, I guess.

---

click for larger image
This was me this evening, sitting at the bar and wondering why I was there. I know that I must look hung-over and/or depressed in this picture, but really, it was mostly just that I've hardly slept since Thursday morning. Though I suppose, now that I look at this picture more closely, it really does display my recent mood quite accurately.

I just got a haircut, in case you were wondering.

I sent this picture to HatGirl and she asked me if I was okay. I sent it to SassyGirl, and she sent me a picture of her and some girls having fun in the sun. I sent it to RockGirl, and she suggested that I take a nap.

---

click for larger image
Tonight OddlyFamiliarGirl and MusicalYuppieDude and I were discussing this Tremens tap - normally used for Delirium Tremens but used for Delirium Noel right now - and OddlyFamiliarGirl posed the question of whether this was an African elephant or an Asian one. She said, and I agreed, that the size of the ears placed it somewhere in the middle.

Of course, this discussion was all moot, because the elephant is clearly Belgian. The dead giveaway being that it's fucking pink.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009
posted by dave at 10:07 AM in category daily, pictures

click for larger image
And now HatGirl is trying to kill me. She's sending me pictures of herself with her sexy new hairstyle. A hairstyle that's oddy similar to the one that LaptopGirl got last Summer.

She's very pretty, in case you can't tell that from the picture.

So, this may be it for me. If the pictures keep coming, I might not last the day. And it might be worth it.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009
posted by dave at 2:07 AM in category daily

I told her that it would destroy me.

I'm in shock. That I was so wrong. That everyone else was so right. That it was all a waste of time. That life can be so pointless.

You people shouldn't expect too much more from me here. Not for a while, at least.

I've got to try to digest this. Eat it before it eats me.

If I write anything now, then I'll be cruel, and I don't want to do that.

Monday, March 23, 2009
posted by dave at 2:05 PM in category daily

Just trying something here. This took way too much effort for the result I got.

Saturday, March 21, 2009
posted by dave at 9:43 AM in category daily

So Friday I took a vacation day.

I worked for about 13 hours on my vacation day.

I'm doing it wrong.

Now I need a vacation to unwind from my vacation.

Thursday, March 19, 2009
posted by dave at 1:48 PM in category daily, drink

I was struck by a small series of thoughts today, as I sat hunched over my liquid lunch (Schlenkerla Fastenbier - 553) contemplating this ridiculous series of rejections that I use instead of a life, and because sometimes I just feel like writing something, I thought I'd write about my series of thoughts.

I guess most of us were young and obnoxious once, except those of you who are still young and obnoxious - get off my lawn, by the way - and even though most of us have outgrown that phase, we still remember what it was like.

Remember how, on warm days, how good it felt to roll down the car windows and crank up the volume on the radio? Or the tape player or CD player or whatever; you know what I mean.

It was impossible to not feel really cool, cruising down the street with your music blaring all around you. People would turn their heads as you drove by, and you'd imagine them thinking, "Now there goes a cool person. He's bringing music to the world. Livening up my boring life. Thank you, cool person."

But the problem is, never once in the history of the world has anyone ever thought those things. The people who drive around with their music blaring so loudly that everyone within a five-block radius can not only hear it, they can feel in their bones and in their teeth as the bass notes vibrate their fillings loose - those people are assholes. I'm also pretty sure that they blow dead goats when they get home.

I never said this would be an interesting entry.

Sunday, March 1, 2009
posted by dave at 11:54 PM in category daily, weather

An annoying pattern is emerging.

I need to do something about it, since it's my fault.

---

Hey, you.

Just think. That's really all I ask.

And, if you keep coming up with the wrong answer, think some more.

I'll let you know when you're finally right, if everyone else in your life doesn't beat me to it.

---

It's March now. Cold weather, please go away. Okay thanks.

---

I didn't bring it up, but now that it's been brought up, several times, I'm having a tough time not thinking about it. This is one of the few things about this mess that is not my fault.

So there.

---

I think that's it for now. Funny, I thought there would be more.

Friday, February 27, 2009
posted by dave at 5:08 PM in category daily

Problem is, I fucking hate being lied to.

And so, since I know that the answer will be a lie, I can't even ask the damn question.

And so, it will look like I don't even care.

Friday, February 20, 2009
posted by dave at 12:00 AM in category daily

Happy birthday to me, dammit!

Thursday, February 19, 2009
posted by dave at 11:32 AM in category daily

I'm off work until Tuesday!

Friday, February 13, 2009
posted by dave at 7:38 AM in category daily

Taking today off work, which is always nice. Even better is that I'm having lunch with HatGirl.

Yay!

Just took my truck down to the garage and dropped it off. The clutch is fucked - the pedal just falls to the floor when pressed, and it only seems to disengage during the final 1/8 inch or so. I could blame my clutch problems on some stick-shift driving lessons I gave her in the truck a couple of months ago, but I won't. It was, after all, a couple of months ago. And she actually did a very good job except for once on a hill.

So now I'm down to just two vehicles for a while. I feel so poor.

Thursday, February 12, 2009
posted by dave at 10:10 AM in category daily, travel

Talked with StupidGirl for a couple of hours last night, until my Blackberry died. We put together some plans for next weekend. I told her that the only thing I absolutely want to do is go to the Freakin' Frog Friday night so I can have an Alaskan Smoked Porter for my birthday.

I'm really starting to look forward to the trip. I wish, in fact, that it was this weekend. This weekend is going to suck, I predict. Stupid Valentine's Day.

Speaking of my Blackberry, I forgot it this morning when I left for work. So I'm frustratingly out of touch with the world this morning. I'll go get my Blackberry during lunch.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009
posted by dave at 9:38 PM in category daily

One of life's sad truths is that, far too often, one thing must end before another can begin.

In my case, I must die before I can live. I must.

---

My power is out tonight. It's out all over the place I guess.

I've been sitting in my living room, watching a fake log burn in my fireplace. I'm drinking a Schlenkerla Marzen. It's kinda nice.

Fires are always nice until their fuel starts to run out. Then they sputter frantically, flames licking wildly upward, as if by putting on a good show, they can buy themselves some more time.

But it does them no good. After a while, their fuel spent, the flames die. After a while, all that are left are ashes.

I have plenty of fake logs, and it's still fairly warm in my house.

I'll be okay, I think.

wow
posted by dave at 7:50 AM in category daily

Just, wow.

And now, for my next trick, I will pretend that nothing happened.

Saturday, February 7, 2009
posted by dave at 3:57 PM in category daily

It's weird. I've been given an infinitesimal speck of hope, and now glaring at my phone has become infinitely more bearable.

posted by dave at 3:47 PM in category daily, travel

Something unexpected happened a little after 6:00 Friday evening. Something welcomed, certainly, just very surprising.

You know how sometimes you're just having a really bad time with things, but then you maybe start to get used to how horrible things are? And then you maybe start to think that there's a chance that someday you might want to live again, if you can only get through this rough patch?

And then something unexpected and welcomed and surprising happens and you forget all about the bullshit?

Well, me too.

And so now, I fear, it will all start over again.

Anyway, it ended up being a good night. One about which I should probably write.

But not now. Now I've got cabin fever. So I'm going to the local casino for a while.

Don't wait up.

UPDATE: I didn't get to go. Other surprising and unexpected stuff happened, and I had to stay closer to home. Oh well.

ALSO: I just extended my Las Vegas trip by one day.

Why did I do this?

Why, thank you so much for asking. That's really sweet of you.

I did this because I'm sick of being such a fucking pessimist all the fucking time.

Monday, January 26, 2009
posted by dave at 6:29 PM in category daily, weather

I want to go down to the Derby City Classic for a while tonight. It should be the last few rounds of the banks tournament. It should be fun.

But, the thing is, it's supposed to snow. Somewhere between four inches and eight feet, depending on which TV station you watch, and I don't really want to get stranded in an expensive casino when I don't have much money.

So I'd get down there and hope it didn't snow and then, if it didn't snow, I'd blame myself. And I like snow. Plus, my sister Neisha would kill me if I made it not snow.

And then there's other stuff. I can't write about the other stuff.

Sunday, January 25, 2009
posted by dave at 1:37 AM in category daily

I have a nosebleed.

What's up with that?

Thursday, January 22, 2009
posted by dave at 11:23 PM in category daily

I wonder who was more surprised. I called, and that must have surprised her. She answered, and that certainly surprised me.

It's the weirdest thing, how a short time on the phone, hearing a voice, can ease so much tension, erase so many doubts, clear up so many misunderstandings.

I just wanted to know if she was okay, that's all. I didn't ask her to come back. I didn't even ask her if she missed me. I just asked if she was okay, and she said that she was. She asked if I was okay, and I said that I wasn't.

Truth. She taught me its value, and I haven't forgotten.

We talked for an hour or so. It was a lot like old times, except we've obviously both moved on. She's moved further than I have.

It was nice. I really miss her sometimes, but I'm glad she got away from me when she did. Before I'd have hurt her all over again.

posted by dave at 3:00 PM in category daily

Ran across this old post from 2006 last night. It inspired me, but I didn't have any fake logs, so I went to bed.

---

It's been cold here for a week, and rainy all day long, so I started a fire. My first one of the season.

It's a fake log, but still a real fire, so I like it.

There is no sound.








Wednesday, January 21, 2009
posted by dave at 10:35 AM in category daily

And getting more and more pissed with every passing minute.

People need to leave me alone today. I'm not in the fucking mood for any more bullshit.

posted by dave at 7:40 AM in category daily

I guess things even out sometimes, or they at least try to even out.

Like, I felt like crap all day yesterday, but then I slept like a baby last night.

I even had some good dreams, so there.

Monday, January 19, 2009
posted by dave at 10:38 AM in category daily, travel, weather

It snowed a little last night. Enough to make things pretty and to make the roads slick for a while. I liked it.

---

Spent some time this morning looking at pricing for flights to Las Vegas. I want to go there over my birthday weekend, I think. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have to worry about a place to stay.

---

Last night we had a nice dinner at Sam's. I always end up getting the blackened chicken alfredo, and it's always a little disappointing. This time it was much better than normal. Quite yummy.

---

Then I went over to HatGirl and LuckyFucker's house to drink a couple beers and play some cards.

HatGirl!

Yay!

We played spades, and I destroyed them. That was weird, because I usually suck at that game.

---

I wonder if Sportstime is open today. I'm craving a little pizza for lunch.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009
ugh
posted by dave at 1:33 PM in category daily

Okay, I'm officially sick.

Thanks for caring.

Monday, January 5, 2009
posted by dave at 10:56 PM in category daily

I might be sick.

It's hard to tell for sure. I might have a bit of a sinus infection, or I might be suffering from lack of sleep. Or maybe it's a combination of both.

Felt like crap all day today. I was very excited about coming straight home after work and taking a nap.

The nap thing - it only lasted half an hour before the nightmare came.

This one, I remembered. Usually, lately, I don't remember what it is that jolts me awake, bathed in my own sweat with my heart threatening to leap out of my chest. But this one, I remembered.

That image is burned into me now, so I doubt I'll sleep tonight either. Unless I'm sick.

Fuck, I hope I'm sick.

Sunday, January 4, 2009
posted by dave at 11:35 PM in category daily

I did something unusual tonight. Unusual for me, anyway. Others' mileage may vary.

I searched for mouse poop. With my hands.

Let me say that again.

I. Searched. For. Mouse. Poop. With. My. Hands.

Why did I do such a thing?

Thanks for asking.

Because I'm a good guy, that's why. Oh, and also because it was too dark to see and somebody doesn't have a flashlight.

Anyway, I found no mouse poop, or any other incriminating evidence. This was a good thing, I think.

I got to be a good guy without the hassle of getting mouse poop on my hands.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008
posted by dave at 7:14 AM in category daily

Happy Birthday to HatGirl!

HatGirl!

Yay!

Sunday, December 14, 2008
posted by dave at 8:09 PM in category daily, drink

After I got home Friday, I attempted to take a nap. That attempt, of course, failed. By then, I figured, I'd had about eight hours of sleep since the previous Saturday morning.

Yes, I was tired. Thanks for asking.

But I guess I must have hit some kind of wall, like long-distance runners always talk about. I reached a certain point of exhaustion, and not only did it not get any worse, it actually got a little better.

So I was dicking around on my computer, catching up on some of the reading that I'd let lapse during The Week Of Hell. I clicked over to the blog of MrPopular, and saw this entry.

For those of you who didn't feel like clicking, it has a mention about how this dude Mike was selling some bottled overstock and such. But even more interesting than what it says now it what it used to say.

It used to say that the items for sale included some bottles of Alaskan Smoked Porter.

It used to say that, and it doesn't anymore, because of me.

Now, I happened to be wearing pants when I read that Alaskan Smoked Porter was for sale. So the Rich O's crowd was spared the thrill disgust of seeing me run into the place as God might have intended. Not sure that a little public nudity would have made much of a difference, though, as I broke every traffic law known to man getting down there. I think that the trip that normally takes 15 minutes took about 15 seconds.

See, MrPopular has been sitting on these bottles (not literally sitting, I don't think) for a very long time. Every now and then I'd hear rumors about them, but rumors were all they were. Rich O's used to sell Alaskan Smoked Porter, but it's been years since that happened. I could, and did, have that lovely beer every time I went to Las Vegas, but even that luxury had been unavailable for over a year.

So I was excited. And I was also quite fearful that I'd be too late. That it would all be sold before I got there. That's why I broke all those traffic laws, and that's why it was probably a good thing that I was wearing pants when I read about the sale.

What ended up happening was that this server dude and I spent a few minutes looking for that Mike dude. Then, when we found him, I bought every bottle of Alaskan Smoked Porter there was.

Fifteen bottles of ebony ambrosia.

It's out there in my beer fridge now. That crappy dirty old refrigerator. Never before has it served such a noble purpose.

Those beers call to me. I estimate that, if I limit my intake to special occasions, I can probably make those bottles last a year.

But tonight I'm going to have one. As soon as I post this entry I'm going to sit in my detached garage and I'm going to have one.

"What's the special occasion?" you might ask.

It's quite simple, really.

I have fucking Alaskan Smoked Porter, and if that's not special then I don't know what is.

UPDATE: Fucking yummy! The only thing that could have made this beer taste better would have been if I'd been sharing it with her.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008
posted by dave at 7:46 AM in category daily, drink, weather

Last night I was able, thanks to some unseasonably warm weather, to sit out in my detached garage for a while. I'd found a bottle of Schlenkerla Marzen (6789) in my refrigerator and, what with yesterday having been what it was, I needed to drink it. So that's what I did. I sat on my el-cheapo white plastic furniture, drank my yummy beer, and contemplated the universe.

Much like when I went to the grocery store Monday night, I couldn't remember the last time I'd sat in my garage. It had certainly been a while. And, though the circumstances that led me to sit out there last night were pretty horrible, I suppose that I ended up enjoying it. Sometimes it's nice for me to simply enjoy my own company for a couple of hours.

I just sent RockGirl an email. She'd asked me when I slept.

Saturday night I didn't sleep a wink. I finally got to sleep at about 3:00 Monday morning and slept until 7:00. Monday night I think it was about 4:00 when I finally got to sleep. Yesterday after work I actually managed to take a two-hour nap, then I couldn't get to sleep again until at least 2:30.
So, I'm nowhere near caught up on my sleep. And I don't really see things getting any better for a while. Maybe ever.

This is a boring entry.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008
posted by dave at 9:48 PM in category daily

I'm not the bum, but I still got the fucking bum's rush.

But that's not the annoying part.

Nope, the fucking annoying part is that I knew this was going to happen, I was warned that this was going to happen, yet I went anyway.

Nobody to blame but myself.

Sunday, November 30, 2008
posted by dave at 11:19 AM in category daily, drink

Early Friday afternoon I found myself missing my dad. A little more than usual, I mean. I was sitting in my Monte Carlo at the car wash, so that probably had something to do with it. The next thing I knew I was shivering at his gravesite.

Then to continue down nostalgia's trail I went to this Hitching Post bar in Louisville. It was Dad's hangout in New Albany. I try to go in there each year, on the anniversary of his death, and have a Falls City beer to his memory. Well, they don't make Falls City anymore, but they do still make Budweiser (24), and it's pretty much the same thing.

After a while, the bartender recognized Dad's old Monte Carlo parked out front, and so he figured out who I was. Next thing I knew there were three or four people in there talking about Dad, and they all had very good things to say. So that was nice.

Then this lady and her hot daughter came in and sat with me for a while. The mom said she'd met me before. I didn't remember it. The daughter kept making goo-goo eyes at me, and we made half-assed plans to go out sometime. I doubt that will ever happen but, just in case, I've dubbed her GooGooGirl.

Friday, November 28, 2008
posted by dave at 11:41 AM in category daily

The first thing we were going to do had maybe a zillion-to-one chance against it. But we were going to do it. As of late Wednesday night, we were going to do the first thing, and I think we were excited about it.

The first thing got cancelled Thursday morning. I was very disappointed.

The second thing we were going to do had perhaps a million-to-one chance against it. But we were all set. It was going to happen. After the first thing, we were going do the second thing.

The second thing never happened, either. I was disappointed.

The third thing, well the odds against the third thing were incalculable. It, of course, didn't happen except in my head.

The fourth thing, we got to do. It was nice. So it ended up being a good Thanksgiving.

Thursday, November 27, 2008
posted by dave at 1:53 AM in category daily, drink

I think I'm supposed to write something now. What, exactly, I'm not sure.

---

I had a very good evening.

---

I'm sober, but I'm not really sure how I managed it. I had a Newcastle (11787) at lunch, then a Schlenkerla Marzen (6592) before dinner, then three bottles of Barley Island Barfly (286) and a bottle of Barley Island Dirty Helen (484). I should be shitfaced, but I'm perfectly fine. Weird.

---

As I was driving home tonight, I saw a very bright shooting star, and I gave my wish to LaptopGirl. I hope she uses it wisely.

---

Today I had lunch with HatGirl.

HatGirl!

Yay!

She's such a good person. One of the best.

---

Sometimes I wish things weren't so lopsided. Because then I'd not only know exactly what to do, I'd actually be able to do it without it being weird.

---

There's been this hole in my soul for a long time. During times like tonight, when that hole is filled, I feel like a real person for a while. And then there was another hole. One I didn't even know about, and a little kid snuck right in and filled that hole like it was never even there.

---

Sometimes I can imagine myself being happy. It's nice, when I can do that.

---

I think I'm tired. I won't know for sure, though, until I go to bed. I guess I'll try that now. Long day tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008
posted by dave at 8:48 AM in category daily

They were all wrong. All day and all night, the world seemed out of tune or something.

I've been accused, several times, of overthinking things. I can't really dispute that, but at least I do think. Willy-nilly may be fine and dandy for some people and some circumstances, but not for me, and not when people much more important than me are involved.

Do what you're here to do, then get the fuck out.

That's what the vibes told me, and so that's exactly what I did.

Monday, November 24, 2008
posted by dave at 12:00 AM in category daily

Happy birthday to LaptopGirl!

Yay!

I'm so glad you were born, you sweet, sweet girl. The world is a much better place because you're in it. And I'm a much better person because of you. I think I'm a person, period, because of you.

Saturday, November 22, 2008
posted by dave at 8:00 AM in category daily

Happy Birthday to my sister Dina!

Yay!

I always like this period after her birthday but before mine, because our age difference is lessened, and so I don't feel like I'm so old.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008
posted by dave at 5:56 PM in category daily, ramblings

I just had to go and be in a good mood. And, not only that, I just had to go and announce my mood to everyone.

Four hours later the universe started punching me in the gut again, and it hasn't stopped, and there's no end in sight. Not that there ever was an end in sight, but I'd allowed myself to forget that for a while.

That was stupid of me to forget. But, apparently, not impossible. Because I keep fucking doing it.

Also, I got to have lunch with HatGirl today.

HatGirl!

Yay!

This was our third attempt since Friday to do this. Friday she was sick, and Monday I was swamped at work, but today everything worked out just fine. We ate at While Castle. She made me forget my troubles for a while. I think I might have actually smiled, once or twice.

HatGirl thinks I'm awesome. That's nice of her to think that. I wish I believed it.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
posted by dave at 8:06 AM in category daily, drink

Work yesterday was fun. I'm on-call this week, and all hell broke loose Sunday and spilled over into Monday. I like dealing with technical problems like that. Much more fun than shuffling paperwork all the time.

Then I had a good evening. Of course I had a good evening. That which had been missing from my life, it was back. So that was cool.

Then all hell broke loose at work again, and I had to deal with that. It wasn't as much fun as it had been earlier.

Anyway, to review:

Pizza Hut Meaty Marinara = tastes like Chef Boyardee.
Schlenkerla Marzen (6396) = yummy.
Barley Island Barfly (170) = good.
Harpoon Winter Warmer (254) = yummy.

Friday, November 14, 2008
posted by dave at 11:59 PM in category daily

I absolutely did not forget.

Happy anniversary, sweet girl.

Thursday, November 13, 2008
posted by dave at 3:18 PM in category daily, drink

Tuesday night seems like such a long time ago, but I'm going to try to write something, and Tuesday night would be a good place to start, I suppose.

The entire day pretty much sucked, what with my cat dying and all. I also didn't get to see her at all, and even email contact ended abruptly at 5:30.

So, I went to Rich O's. On a Tuesday night. Weird, I know.

At first I sat in the throne, but people kept trying to talk to me, so I moved to the island once it had been vacated. I had a Schlenkerla Marzen (6193) and a little pizza. I did my best to hold myself together, and I suppose I did okay for a while.

Then people came and joined me at the island and started talking to me. Being too unmotivated to pick up my shit and move again, I stayed put where I was.

Oh, and by people I mean ElPresidente and FirstLady, though some other people stopped by from time to time. I spent most of the next four hours talking to ElPresidente - a conversation which can be summed-up as follows:

ElPresidente: You're still whining about that?

Me: Yes. Yes I am.

ElPresidente: Idiot.

And so it went. But it was still lots better than going home and having to watch my remaining cats search in vain for their missing friend. And I even had another Marzen (6210) to help take the edge off things.

Wednesday was, by my estimation, a million-bazillion times better. I was still sad about Happy, of course, but I found myself a very nice distraction. I didn't get to eat lunch, but I got to see her and play Santa Claus to her son, so it was a very fair trade.

After work I went back to Rich O's. I had myself a Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar (243), then I bought a growler of it to take with me. For the second time in only a few hours, I got to be distracted from this bullshit I use for a life. We had this alfredo stuff from Pizza Hut that I thought was very good. We each had a couple glasses of the Rogue (273).

Then on the way home I stopped at Rich O's again. I had a Marzen (6227) and had a nice little email conversation. I also had a nice actual conversation with OddlyFamiliarGirl, who surprised me by still being alive.

OddlyFamiliarGirl said some very nice things to me, and made me feel like an actual decent person. So that was nice of her.

Anyway, then I came home and successfully avoided calling out Happy's name when I walked in the door.

posted by dave at 9:50 AM in category daily

Yesterday I was going to write a long entry about my dead cat. I didn't write that entry, though someday I might. Also yesterday I wanted to write something about my dad. Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of his death. I didn't write that entry either.

Truth is, there's still only one thing on my mind these days. I am consumed by it, but I can't write about it.

Sucks to be me.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
posted by dave at 4:28 PM in category daily, pictures

happy kitty
Got a call from the veterinarian this morning.

The call was a strange one. Not that the situation could ever be considered normal. Not by me, anyway. The vet probably makes calls like that a lot.

She got the results from Happy's blood tests. Not good. His kidneys were almost completely failed. He'd lost almost eight pounds since he was last weighed in September. And most of that weight loss was muscle mass. He was not diabetic, and his condition wasn't contagious to my other cats.

There wasn't any hope for long-term survival - that's pretty much what she told me.

Then she told me that he'd gone into cardiac arrest and died this morning when they were treating him.

Seems to me that she could have told me that in the first place.

I'm really not trying to be funny. It's just that this is going to hit me pretty hard before too long, and I wanted to write something before I lost my mind.

It would have been eleven years, on New Year's Eve. That's not nearly long enough.

Monday, November 10, 2008
posted by dave at 8:29 AM in category daily, drink

We did end up hanging out for a while Sunday afternoon and evening. I can't write about that, though, except that I had a Barfly (140).

I've been saying that I've got this mood that I can't seem to shake. Well, that was wrong. It's not a mood that I get into, it's reverting to normal. That's why I haven't been able to shake it. Because it's not a mood at all, it's the way I am now. Instead of being a happy person with occasional bad moods, now I'm quite the opposite.

Anyway, after I'd reverted to normal last night, I stopped at Bearno's for a Newcastle. The keg blew, but the dude did manage to get most of a glass poured (11638).

Then I came home.

My cat Happy is very sick. He's going to the vet this morning, and I fear that I won't be bringing him home. I guess I'll know more by 11:00 or so.

I had a couple bottles of Newcastle (11662) last night while I tried to comfort Happy.

Sunday, November 9, 2008
posted by dave at 10:40 AM in category comics, daily, drink

Well I ended up not taking a trip yesterday. The same lack of motivation I'd had about writing kept me from making up my mind about going anywhere until it was too late. So I just dicked around the house for the most part.

Then last night I got to do some stuff I can't write about, I guess except that I had a Marzen (6152) and three bottles of Barfly (128). And I think I did a pretty good job of keeping my thoughts where they belonged.

Today we might do something. Or we might not. It's kinda hard stupid to plan anything more than about five minutes ahead of time. As proof of that statement, I offer yesterday, and next weekend, and probably Thanksgiving. But it's okay. Spontaneity has its charms sometimes, and being penciled in is better than nothing.

A pen would be nice, though, every now and then. It would be nice to be worthy of a pen. The dipshit gets a fucking pen.

or fear, perhaps?

Saturday, November 8, 2008
posted by dave at 10:21 AM in category daily, drink

I'm supposed to write in this thing. That's pretty much what it's here for. Some days it's really hard to get motivated, though. That's what today is. I just don't feel like writing. Because of that, this is going to suck.

My life is a fucking lie. A play in which I'm forced to perform, and they forgot to give me my lines.

Lunch at this weird Lynn's Paradise Cafe place was nice. A little strained, I thought, but that's to be expected, what with everything going on and what with me being in this damn mood that I can't shake.

After work I tried to take a nap. It didn't take. I think I'm overly tired. Two or three hours of sleep per night for a week will do that to a person.

So then I went to Rich O's. I'd thought it might be a short visit, because sometimes I forget that hope is stupid and that I should stop having it. I ended up sitting at the kiddie table for four hours talking to OtherDave for a while, and ActualGeorge for a while longer. I tried to talk HatGirl into coming, but she was busy or sick of me or something.

I had a couple glasses of Schlenkerla Marzen (6135), which were quite good. I had a drawn-out email conversation, and that did help to make me feel a little better.

I stopped at White Castle on the way home. My jalapeno cheeseburgers were very yummy.

Oh yeah, remember how I found out yesterday that MixedSignalGirl wasn't dead? Well, last night I found out that NotHideousGirl wasn't dead, either, because she came in to Rich O's. So that was nice. And I got a couple of text messages from SassyGirl, and she wasn't dead either. I miss SassyGirl. I think I miss just about everyone. My own damn fault. I've almost totally isolated myself.

I want to take a trip today. I need to get away. But I probably won't.

Friday, November 7, 2008
posted by dave at 4:40 PM in category daily

Just a quick note to say that MixedSignalGirl isn't dead, and that I'm glad.

I called her this morning, sorta breaking our rule about things like that, but they had this big blizzard up where she lives, and I needed to know.

"Hi, Miss! Are you dead from the blizzard?" I asked.

"Nope, just driving to work in regular snow, not blizzard snow," she answered.

"Well, I'm glad you're not dead," I offered.

"Me, too," she replied. "I'll be sure and let you know if I die, though."

"Fair enough," I said, and then we chatted for a couple of minutes before we ended the call.

Anyway, whew!

Thursday, November 6, 2008
posted by dave at 7:52 AM in category daily, drink

The rest of Wednesday consisted of spending all afternoon in one of the saddest moods I've had in months, then spending the evening pretending that everything was fine. Until, eventually, thanks to a little kid mostly, everything was fine. What a delightful child. His mommy is kinda neat, too, for a jailer.

But eventually, the cage walls started closing in on me again, and I made a graceful escape. One made a bit less graceful because of my Blackberry. Upon leaving, I sent an email saying that I'd had an overwhelming urge to give her a foot massage. But my Blackberry, in a fit of stupididy, had interpreted my typing of the letters f-o-o-t as d-o-o-r instead.

Now, I don't really know what a door massage is. Sounds pretty kinky. But I bet I'd give a good one, and make her forget all about the dipshit.

On the way home, I stopped at Rich O's and had myself another Marzen (6101) and ordered a pizza to-go.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008
posted by dave at 4:54 PM in category daily

Got to have lunch with HatGirl today. Our lunches are always so chaotic, at least the last two have been.

HatGirl!

Yay!

Anyway, we ended up at White Castle. It was a little weird, eating there in the the middle of the day and completely sober, but the company was nice, of course. HatGirl is a genuinely good person, and to prove it, she spent an hour alternating between listening to me gripe and trying to think up reasonable excuses to explain the way I'm being treated.

After that lunch, I took another lunch and went and talked to WeirdGirl for a bit. We'd had this crazy idea in our heads, but after we talked about it for a while, we decided that it was just too crazy, and not worth the trouble it could cause. I'm relieved, I think.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008
posted by dave at 7:42 AM in category daily, ramblings, weather

I've had this stupid little nagging thought in my head for the past couple of days. I've had it before over the years, but I've always been able to ignore it until it went away.

This time, the damn stupid little nagging thought is being stubborn, and I'm not sure that it's going to go away. Because it might be right.

---

Today it's supposed to be really nice outside. Like 76 degrees. I'd walk to The Pub for lunch, but there's no point, because there are no beer sales until the polls close.

---

Sometimes I have to ask myself how things should proceed, if they proceed. I mean, if they're allowed to proceed to their logical conclusion, how should it happen? Slowly and deliberately, or as quickly as possible, to get the inevitable out of the way?

Sometimes it's really surreal that these aren't completely hypothetical questions.

---

Damn, I was supposed to pick up a case of Moerlein OTR when I was in Covington, but I forgot. Oh well, it's close. Maybe we can go up there together some weekend.

---

I forgot to set my clock back, so I got up an hour early this morning.

Monday, November 3, 2008
posted by dave at 4:26 PM in category daily

...I'm back home, and I still don't give a flying fuck.

Lot of that going around these days. Maybe it's contagious.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008
posted by dave at 11:14 PM in category daily

You know what?

I have absolutely nothing left to say.

I've said it all. Over and over and over, I've dissected myself.

My words were wasted.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
posted by dave at 3:06 PM in category daily

The problem was the dust. It got into everything, onto everything. The color of brown sugar, the consistency of baby powder, it settled and stuck to everything it touched, Which, like I said, was everything.

So many of my stories begin and end the same way. I sit at the bar, I drink, I pay, and I leave. But sometimes there's more to it than that. Hiding in the crevices, there might be much more than that. The first problem is noticing. The second problem is giving a shit.

But seriously, where did all that fucking dust come from? I think I'd have noticed getting so lost in Wyoming that I ended up on Mars.

My beer tasted like dust. My cigarettes tasted like dust. Luckily, I wasn't hungry, or I'd have ended up with a burger that tasted like dust.

This particular day, I wasn't in much of a hurry. I had a week to make it to New Orleans, and I figured it would only take a couple more days at most. So I decided to stop at noon, in this little dustbowl of a town in Wyoming. There was no particular reason that I picked that particular town. No charming name or majestic scenery caused me to veer off the highway where I did. Or, I think that maybe I just had to pee. I wish I had a better reason, but sometimes you've got to take what you've got and try to be happy.

I liked that little town, though. And that little bar. It was pretty much the opposite of every place I'd ever lived, and that had a definite appeal to me. I could even see myself living there for a while, if the opportunity presented itself, and if it wasn't for that damn dust.

"After I lived here about five years, I stopped noticing it," the bartender told me.

He had a little black nametag pinned to his brown flannel shirt. That nametag might have been the most expensive decoration in the entire place.

"Dusty," it said.

posted by dave at 1:40 PM in category daily, drink, ramblings

So she asked me if I was mad. I'm not mad, I'm retarded. Big Difference.

And then, I went to lunch at The Pub - Newcastle (11498) - and surprise! It was a bonus AlliDay!

And then, desperately craving interaction with a girl who doesn't make me crazy(er), I arranged to have lunch with HatGirl this Friday. That should be very nice, as it's been a long time since it's just been just me and HatGirl. What with the whole her-getting-married and stuff.

Also, I can't follow my own fucking advice, so why should it bother me that nobody else follows it? I'll tell you why. Because I don't have a choice in the matter.

I've got all this damn pumpkin beer in my fridge, and now I don't know what's going to happen with it. Worst case would be that I'll drink it, I suppose. By myself. Like a chump.

Also, I think I'd be pretty pissed if I were a pigeon. I mean, being able to fly would be cool. But the rat with wings nickname would get old very quickly, and I'd really be pissed off about not being able to take a step without my head jerking back and forth like I was having a seizure or something.

Also, I really and truly don't think there's any cruelty behind any of this. I don't think my strings are being yanked just to watch me dance. Unfortunately for me, the results are exactly the same no matter what the intentions might be. I end up looking like a jackass, and everyone gets a good laugh out of it. Everybody except me, that is.

I need a nap.

And a vacation. Mustn't forget that.

Sunday, October 19, 2008
posted by dave at 10:19 PM in category daily

I'm not really sure what I was expecting at the reception, I just know that it wasn't what I found.

I think maybe I thought there'd be more of HatGirl's and LuckyFucker's friends there. But it seemed, to me at least, to be about 99% family members. Not that there was anything wrong with that, or that it was a bad thing. It just wasn't what I was expecting. I guess I'd figured that NotHideousGirl would at least show up, and so I'd have somebody to talk to.

Anyway, I arrived pretty much right on time. The guests were gathered out on the lawn of the place. I'd seen HatGirl and LuckyFucker waiting around the side of the building, but when I tried to go say hello I was shooed away. Apparently there was an agenda for the thing, and that agenda did not include guys from the bar talking to the happy couple before the scheduled time. Not even guys as awesome as me.

So, I waited on the lawn with everyone else, like a chump. Eventually, the bridal party had a little parade, and they ended up on the steps where they had this candle ceremony. Then they had another parade, except all of us guests followed them this time.

The bridal party stood at the back door and greeted all of us guests. So I finally got to say hi to HatGirl.

HatGirl!

Yay!

Oh yeah, LuckyFucker was there, too.

And I think that was just about the last time I saw either of them, except as blurs, until it was time to leave.

I never did get to have that dance with HatGirl. It was weird. It seemed to me like the DJ took off running down the sidewalk about a minute into the first song. I have no idea what that was all about.

Oh, I almost forgot! I caught the garter!

Apparently, that means that I'll be the next guy to get married. And this one four-year-old girl caught the bouquet, so she'll be the next girl to get married.

Should be an interesting race.

posted by dave at 10:14 AM in category daily, drink

I didn't really get much accomplished yesterday. I went to Home Depot to get some lumber for my swing but, while I was there, I kinda lost all motivation for everything. So I just came back home and shot pool for a while.

Then at 3:00 I went to Bearno's for something to eat and a couple glasses of Newcastle (11456). For a while, I was the only customer in the entire place. That was perfectly fine with me.

Traded a few emails with her, and that put me back into a good mood until the subject changed. Then my mood deteriorated very quickly. I said some things that were unwelcome, I'm sure. But, like I keep telling myself, if I'm going to ruin this, as least it will be with the truth. Sometimes I wonder if the two of us are strong enough to hold something this lopsided together. Or if she thinks that it's worth the effort.

Later I went and picked up this Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale (24), which was new for me.

Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale

(bottle) Clear light amber. Large whitish head. Not much of an aroma or flavor with this one. Everything was very subtle - too subtle. I don't think I'll bother with this again. Decent is all I can say.
So that was a bit of a disappointment.

Anyway, other than having a couple bottles of that beer, and watching some movies, I had a nice phone call that I don't think I want to write about here. I went to bed fairly early and slept for 10 hours.

Today is HatGirl's wedding reception. As was expected, I will be going alone. But it should still be fun to see HatGirl in her wedding dress. I hope she remembers that she was supposed to learn how to dance, so she can give me a quick lesson before I dance with her for real.

Saturday, October 18, 2008
posted by dave at 11:53 AM in category daily, drink

I suppose that a brief beer report is in order. I did, after all, go to Rich O's last night. I bet I could count on one hand the number of times I've been in there, on a weekend night, in the last three months.

Anyway, I wasn't planning to go, but my sister called to say that she and her husband were there. So I went.

It was extremely crowded and LOUD. I ended up standing by the bar, talking yelling with Dina and Kenny. I had two and a half glasses of Marzen (5902). By the time Dina and Kenny left, my mood was shot to shit. I tried to hang out for a little bit longer, but there was no sense in it. I came home around 10:00.

---

Last week I was going to buy some wood to start repairs on my swing. But while I was cutting some rope, I ended up slicing my finger instead. Today, my plan is to go and finally buy that wood. I'll probably manage to amputate my leg somehow.

Friday, October 17, 2008
posted by dave at 3:24 PM in category daily

The last time we went to this hippie place for lunch, it was a huge surprise. The having lunch together part, not so much the hippie place part. This time, it was still a surprise, just maybe not as big, because this time, I'd invited her to lunch.

Another surprise was getting the shit beaten out of me by a two-year-old.

The food was decent. The company was extraordinary. Even the two-year-old.

Thursday, October 16, 2008
posted by dave at 6:13 PM in category daily

Can't write about this until later, but I'm mildly freaked out.

---

Okay, so today after I ate lunch I was on the upper level at Fourth Street Live, where NotHideousGirl and I used to sit and smoke after lunch. I wasn't sitting today, but I was smoking. I was also watching people, like I usually do.

You know how you can recognize your own car, even if you see just a tiny portion of it? Like when you leave a store, and the parking lot is packed, and you don't quite remember where you parked? But you can look across the parking lot and see maybe a flash of fender or something, and you immediately know it's your car?

Yeah, well today I was watching people walking up and down Fourth Street, and I saw out of the corner of my eye a glimpse of blonde hair. I saw that hair, and I immediately knew who it was.

MixedSignalGirl.

She was walking into T.G.I. Friday's just like she did it every day. Just like she hadn't moved a million miles away. Just like she had every right to be there.

She was with some dude. I assumed this was her new husband. I didn't actually see any dicks in his mouth, because I was pretty far away, but I'm sure they were in there somewhere.

I absolutely froze. I had no idea what to do. I was pulled equally between running away from her and running toward her. So, like I said, I froze. My legs simply would not move. But I somehow managed to get my arms and hands to work, so I emailed RockGirl that I might be dying, and then I called MixedSignalGirl.

I really had no idea what I was going to say. I guess I figured I'd just wing it. I got her voicemail, stammered out that I'd been thinking about her, and hung up.

And so began the wait.

---

Just got off the phone with her. Everything is fine - I'd been concerned that her mom might be sick. It's just a regular visit.

I hadn't wanted to write anything here until I'd talked to her. I didn't want her to read here that I'd seen her and hadn't immediately run down to say hello. Of course I told her about that on the phone, though.

It's all good.

I doubt that we'll see each other or even talk again while she's here. Not unless her husband wants to spend an evening at a gay bar or something, thus giving her some time to kill.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008
posted by dave at 12:00 AM in category daily

Happy birthday to my youngest sister, Neisha!

See, I am capable of remembering some things.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008
posted by dave at 12:40 AM in category daily

What a crappy day Monday was. I'm glad it's over, but I can't really say I have any expectations that Tuesday will be any better.

Fuck, I hate being so dependent on, and reactionary to, outside stimuli.

Also, I managed to tear the cut on my finger open tonight. So that's another pint of blood I'll never get back.

Sunday, October 12, 2008
posted by dave at 12:15 PM in category daily, pictures

I was going to write an entry about my fun Saturday, but instead I decided to slice my finger to the bone. And now I can't type very well at all. So, for now at least, you people will be spared.

It was a really good day, though.

Maybe a picture can be worth a thousand words.

hard to tell, but I am very happy in this picture

Saturday, October 11, 2008
posted by dave at 12:25 AM in category daily, drink

I guess today kind of sucked. I don't think it was really a bad day, but compared to Thursday, it sucked. As would most days, compared to Thursday.

This chick who looks disconcertingly like MixedSignalGirl was working at The Pub, after having been fired for the last month or so. Plus, she insisted on talking to me the entire time I was there trying to enjoy my Newcastle (11280). So I was in a pretty shitty mood from about 12:00 on, then after work I had a couple of weird dreams. One was a sad dream, and another was very frustrating and confusing. So I woke up from my nap in a even worse mood than before.

For a while, there seemed to be a .0000000001% chance that my day might end really well, but instead I sat here at home, had a Rogue Chocolate Stout (2669) and a Barley Island Dirty Helen (436), glared at my phone, and wished for about the asstillionth time that things were different.

Also, it turns out that I don't need to feed HatGirl's critters on Sunday, as had been planned. That's the good news, I think. The bad news, I think, is that I need to go to the airport at 11:50 Saturday night to pick her and LuckyFucker up.

It will be really nice to see HatGirl again, but my grand plans for drinking beer and glaring my phone tomorrow night are shot to shit.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008
posted by dave at 11:33 PM in category daily, drink

I'm not sure I should say anything about lunch. I guess I'll say that I had some yummy Thai chili linguini, and I sneaked a couple won-tons. Oh, and I had a Newcastle (11240).

Later in the afternoon I had a stupid meeting that ended up being not stupid, because I was the only person who showed up. So, that was nice.

I'd driven in to work on fumes, and so I had to stop and get gas on the way from work to HatGirl's house. I got $20 worth of gas, got back into my truck, and turned the key. Imagine my surprise when, as a result of my turning the key, absolutely nothing happened.

I was in a pretty bad part of Louisville, I think. So I was quite relieved and a little surprised when this one lady gave me a jump-start instead of murdering me for drug money.

At HatGirl's, I left my truck running while I fed the critters. Still haven't seen that damn kitty.

Then on the way to Rich O's I stopped and paid $150 for a new battery. For that price I assumed that my truck would be capable of flight, but nope, it's still ground-bound. Oh well.

At Rich O's, I had a couple glasses of yummy Rogue Chocolate Stout (2647). I was going to have just the one and then go home with my pizza, but NotHideousGirl and OddlyFamiliarGirl came in. And this time they didn't totally ignore me, so yay!

Once I got home, I took a nap. Then when I got up I nuked a couple hot dogs. Because I'm stupid and completely forgot about the pizza in my fridge.

And now I'm having a Three Floyds Gumballhead (263). I tried to sit out in my garage with my beer, but it's too freaking cold.

Sunday, October 5, 2008
posted by dave at 10:58 PM in category daily, drink, ramblings

Today was the fifth day in a row that I've gone to HatGirl's house to take care of her critters, but I still haven't seen the kitty even once. I do, however, know that the kitty is still alive because I set treats out each day and the next day they're gone.

---

I get so sick and tired of people trivializing my problems and expecting me to act normal all the time. I do good to get out of bed in the mornings. Anything more than that is a bonus.

---

Tonight I had a nice long talk with my dad's ghost. It took some doing, and a couple bottles of Three Floyd's Gumballhead (215), to conjure him up, but I eventually succeeded.

It was a really nice conversation.

---

Every now and then I'll be driving - it's usually in Louisville - and I'll see some random young man walking down the sidewalk, using one hand to keep his super-loose pants from falling down.

I always wonder what kind of a terrible life that must be, the constant pressure that must involve.

Stretching an analogy almost to its breaking-point, I kinda do the same thing as those random young men.

Except that it's not modesty that I'm trying to preserve. Nope, it's my sanity.

I walk through life desperately clutching to pieces of myself that threaten to fall to the ground.

And shatter.

The shattering part is where the pants analogy breaks down. Because pants don't shatter, unless they haven't been washed in a zillion years, and that's an entirely different problem.

---

You know what's really nice to hear from the love of your life?

"Well, I wouldn't say you were the worst person ever."

That's what's nice to hear. Hope springs eternal, and all that.

---

Also, people who don't like the way I am should stop trying to guilt me into being something else. It won't work.

Empathy does not require understanding or agreement. Those are common misconceptions, but those things really are irrelevant to empathy.

Empathy can stand on its own and do just fine.

---

For those keeping score at home, I still haven't renewed any of my vehicle registrations. They were already closed on Saturday when I got there. They were closed today, and they'll be closed tomorrow. So I get to drive around illegally until Tuesday.

Fun!

---

That's it for now. I need to go out to my garage and glare at my phone for a while.

Saturday, October 4, 2008
posted by dave at 12:22 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

I think all I want to say about tonight is that I was held captive by two hot young women, and that I had fun.

---

Oh shit! I totally forgot to renew any of my vehicle registrations. All three expired the 15th of September. I'll have to see about at least renewing the registration on my truck tomorrow, if I have time.

---

I think what's happened is that I've crossed some kind of sleep-deprivation wall. Kind of like marathon runners will reach a certain point and then running is supposed to become effortless. Well I should be very tired right now, but I'm not at all.

---

My brain is really rambling. You readers are lucky that so little of the rambling is making it to my fingers.

---

I want to go to Antarctica, and I don't want to take myself with me. I don't know how to do that. Or, maybe, I want to go to Antarctica with myself, but then return without myself. I don't know how to do that either. Either way, though, I want to go to Antarctica.

---

Another thing about tonight is that I had a Shiner Bock (17) and a Barley Island Barfly (56). Or maybe that's two other things about tonight.

---

Sometimes a helping hand is exactly that, and nothing more. Sneering at it will only lessen the probability of it ever being offered again.

---

If I had any sense at all, I'd do something. What, exactly, I don't know. Because I don't have any sense at all.

---

I suppose I should go stare at my bedroom ceiling for a few hours. Goodnight, world.

Friday, October 3, 2008
posted by dave at 1:52 AM in category daily

What a stupid night.

I'm sitting here at 1:45 AM, watching backup jobs run. Or watching them try to run. Stupid things keep failing.

And I'm not even supposed to be on-call tonight, so it's extra stupid.

Meanwhile, I guess I'm having a bit of a crisis. So it's kind of hard to think about work.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008
posted by dave at 10:24 PM in category daily, drink, weather

I got a very nice surprise today.

An unscheduled AlliDay!

I don't think I'd seen AlliGirl in over a month, and even then she'd been too busy to really talk. But today, I walked into the pub, expecting to see the same boring Wednesday people that I've been seeing for months, and instead I saw some legs. And a shock of blonde hair peeking from under a baseball cap. And, once I got close enough for her to recognize me, a mischievous grin.

AlliGirl!

And, it wasn't too busy in there today, so after the mandatory hug we got to talk for quite a bit and do some catching up.

It was really nice to see her!

Oh, yeah, I had a Newcastle (11106) for lunch.

Then, back to work.

Then, I went over to HatGirl's house to feed her cat and dogs and LuckyFucker's fish. Because they're gone. Getting married. Fucking surreal.

Anyway, HatGirl had assured me that her one asshole dog wasn't an asshole anymore. I'm not saying that she lied to me, but she was definitely mistaken. That damn dog refused to let me pay any attention whatsoever to the other dogs. It's exactly the same as it was a year ago.

And I didn't get to see the kitty at all. It was hiding from me because it doesn't know that I'm a cat person.

Then I went to Rich O's and had an Upland Wheat (231), then I came home.

Now I want to go outside and drink a Marzen but it's too damn cold. I kinda want to take a little space heater out there with me, but I'm afraid that might seem pathetic.

Maybe I'll just drink a damn beer in my living room like a regular person.

posted by dave at 9:35 AM in category daily

Got a quick text* from HatGirl this morning. They were getting ready to board. Their cruise. Their wedding cruise.

Surreal. The next time I see HatGirl and LuckyFucker, they will be married.

I bet that right now, Vegas oddsmakers are looking for tall buildings from which to fling themselves.

Anyway, for the next couple of weeks I am tasked with taking care of all of their critters. I'm looking forward to it, actually. I did the same thing last year, when they went on a regular non-wedding cruise. I like their dogs and their cat, and I guess the fish are cool.

This year I'm hopeful that the cat will actually let me pet it. And that none of the dogs bite me.

* - As opposed to those laboriously slow texts that take forever, I suppose.

Sunday, September 28, 2008
posted by dave at 8:32 AM in category daily

Okay, so now that it's been established that my value is less than $35.00, I wonder what I am worth.

---

Not a single one of HatGirl's so-called friends showed up for her bachelorette party. I am so sad for her, and so angry at her so-called friends, that it's actually taking my mind off of my own problems. Imagine that.

---

I really did have fun at the thingy yesterday. I don't believe that she thought I had fun, but I did.

---

I guess I should have just stayed in Louisville last night. I bet AlliGirl and CoolHairGirl were working. But I had no way of knowing that Rich O's was going to be such a flop. Shit, I actually thought it might be good. Maybe that'll teach me to be an optimist. I really should know better by now.

Friday, September 26, 2008
posted by dave at 8:00 PM in category daily

I was trying to think if anything happened today, besides the funfest that was work.

But then I remembered that I got to talk to HatGirl on the phone after work.

HatGirl!

Yay!

I feel bad because not many people are going to her bachelorette party. If I was a girl, I'd go. Because, duh, it's HatGirl!

I asked her if she'd reminded everyone, when she sent the invitations, that she's HatGirl, and she said that it was implied.

I'm thinking that it must not have been implied very well or more girls would be going to HatGirl's party.

Thursday, September 25, 2008
posted by dave at 6:57 PM in category daily

I was going to go to Rich O's for some spaghetti after work. My spaghetti plans were detoured yesterday, and I was still craving it.

But noooooooo!

There was a stupid traffic jam on the highway leading toward Rich O's, so I just came straight home.

And there was a stupid traffic jam on the highway leading home, too. So that sucked.

Anyway, now I'm starving to death.

I wonder what cat food tastes like. That's all there is in this house.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
posted by dave at 2:49 PM in category daily

I thought, just for kicks and to see what happened, that I'd try to catch this damn thing up on what's happened in the last week or so.

Tuesday, September 16

A bunch of stuff I can't write about, and then I got my power back at 8:30, then more stuff I can't write about.

Wednesday, September 17

Stuff I can't write about, then I got to have lunch with HatGirl. Yay!

Then I got really really depressed. And then, while I was at Rich O's, some more stuff happened that I can't write about, but it put me in a better mood.

Then I got stuck doing some stuff for work, or maybe some other stuff might have happened. I couldn't have written about it though.

Thursday, September 18

I don't think anything happened all day, except that after work I got to do some stuff I can't write about, and it was a lot of fun.

Friday, September 19

I'd allowed myself to have hope. That was stupid. Friday was a very very sad day for me. Move along, please.

Saturday, September 20

I got to have lunch with HatGirl. Yay! But I already wrote about that, kinda. There was a picture.

Then Saturday night I sat around Rich O's and glared at my phone for hours, then I got to do something I can't write about, but it was really nice. Then when I got back home I did something stupid.

Sunday, September 21

A sad day. I even went on a rant, but I can't write about it.

Monday, September 22

Rich O's was out of every beer I've ever liked, but then I got to do something I can't write about. Found out some bad news that I can't write about.

Then, in an ironic twist, MisunderstoodGirl showed that she doesn't understand me at all.

Tuesday, September 23

A bunch of irrelevant stuff that I can't write about, then some bullshit that I can neither figure out nor write about.

posted by dave at 9:11 AM in category daily, pictures

This is the activity taking place outside my building this morning.

I have no idea what these people are doing. I just hope they get all that shit off the road before the afternoon rush hour.

posted by dave at 9:06 AM in category daily, pictures

I haven't done one of these for a couple of years, but it's time. It's definitely time.

permanently engraved onto my shitlist

Tuesday, September 23, 2008
posted by dave at 11:05 PM in category daily

I'm taking some time off. You won't be missing anything.

Or maybe not.

Sometimes it really irritates me, being unable to write the things that I most want to write.

But I should get over it.

Also, I don't like stupid games.

Saturday, September 20, 2008
posted by dave at 8:00 PM in category daily, pictures

Had lunch with HatGirl today.

Usually, I have something extra to add, whenever I mention HatGirl. But this time, I'll let her awesome t-shirt say it for me.

sorry guys, she is totally taken

Thursday, September 18, 2008
posted by dave at 11:51 PM in category daily

Got to have lunch with HatGirl Wednesday. So that was an awesome surprise. And we're having lunch again Saturday, so yay!

---

Then I had a long-overdue talk with TremensGirl after work. The overdue part could basically be summed-up as I'm a dick.

The other part of the conversation consisted of me asking, "What's wrong with me?" and TremensGirl essentially replying, "Everything."

So, that sucked, though I can't say I was really surprised. At least she didn't suggest that I misrepresent myself. Nope, she said that I needed to actually change who I am and what I feel. Like I wouldn't have done that a million years ago if I knew how.

But it was a nice conversation, and I really appreciate her candor.

---

I think I've slept about two hours per night starting Monday night. Surprisingly, this isn't even close to my personal worst, but I'm still pretty damn tired.

---

I have no middle anymore. It's a really disconcerting feeling, jumping from one extreme to another with nothing in between.

---

Oh yeah, I got to see OddlyFamiliarGirl Wednesday night! It had been a million bazillion years.

---

This is stupid. I have nothing to say.

Friday, September 12, 2008
posted by dave at 12:46 PM in category daily

Got an email from HatGirl this morning.

HatGirl!

Yay!

Got lots of emails from her, actually, but one in particular was hilarious.

She told me that she'd reserved a seat for me, at her wedding reception, at a table for her special friends. This table is in the front of the room, probably so she can keep an eye on us in case we get out of line. But there's also an element of honor involved.

But that part was sweet. It wasn't the hilarious part.

The hilarious part was where there was another seat, presumably next to mine, reserved for "Dave's guest."

Bwahahahaha!

The reason, of course, that this is hilarious, is that the only person who would accompany me is already busy that night.

I know she's busy that night, because she's the bride.

So I invited someone else. The girl I really want to go with anyway. Her acceptance is extremely unlikely, but stranger things have happened.

Maybe, just in case, I should go get one of those blow-up dolls. Probably better than sitting at the reception alone like a chump.

Thursday, September 11, 2008
posted by dave at 4:26 PM in category daily, drink

I think that, today, I'm going to shut my cat Buddy in the basement when I get home. That way, he won't be able to fight with Nugget, and that way, I'll be able to take an actual nap.

I can't remember ever being this tired, except maybe the first time we all went to Philadelphia for work, a few years ago.

And, speaking of Philadelphia, we're all supposed to go back there in January. Oh boy! Philadelphia in January!

I'm pushing to just have us do the work from here. There's no reason that any of have to actually be in Philadelphia. But I push for this every year, and it never does any good. We always have to go.

Anyway, today I had a nice lunch with her at Hard Rock. With my potato skins, I had a Blue Moon (883) that was pretty damn tasty. My company was lovely as always.

I seem to have lost the ability to tell when someone is kidding. Or maybe I never really had that ability. This was the second day in a row that she totally fooled me with her kidding. My working theory about this is that, because I always expect the absolute worst, that's why I take this kidding seriously.

What might be an interesting experiment would be to be kidded about something good. But then I'd have to face the disappointment when the farce was revealed. And I'm pretty sure that my disappointment quota for this century is already used up.

I guess there's no way to win unless I turn into an optimist so I can recognize kidding. Not much chance of that happening.

I'm rambling because I'm tired.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
posted by dave at 11:43 PM in category daily

I had a good day.

I should be careful, a guy could really get used to days like this.

A guy could find himself in serious trouble.

posted by dave at 4:40 PM in category daily

Okay, guess where I am, as I write this. Not my actual physical location, but guess what kind of place I'm in.

Guess!

You guessed that I was in a bar, didn't you?

Wrong!

I'm in a coffee house!

Weird, huh?

And I guess it's a Christian coffee house, or that's what I'm told anyway. Not that that matters to me one way or the other. It's the being in a coffee house that make this weird for me. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time I've ever graced such as establishment with my presence. Despite having lived in Seattle for six years.

Anyway, I'm here because I was invited, sort of. Or maybe I invited myself. Hard to tell sometimes.

I feel like some kind of hippie or something. I wonder if I should start hating myself. I also have a strong urge to smoke a clove cigarette, but they don't allow any smoking in here. I think that's part of the Christian coffee house thing they've got going.

Also, I hate coffee!

But, of course, I'm not here for the coffee, or even for the nonsmoking or the Christian music playing softly. I'm here for the company, and she's lovely.

So, I'm writing this on the back of an old carshow flyer from 2002, using a pen from that same era. I'm doing these things because my aforementioned lovely companion says I can't use her pen, nor can I have a sheet of paper. So I found an old pen and some old flyers in my glove compartment.*

Lovely, but stingy, apparently.

I'm drinking this fancy hippie soda named Bawl's Guarana. I don't know why - I just picked it. Maybe because of the pretty blue bottle. It says "High Caffeine Guarana Beverage" on the label. So that might be good, to have some extra caffeine. I was up late last night, and up early this morning.

Since we've been sitting here, two different women have walked in looking like they're having the worst day of their lives. I feel like I should go offer them a hug or something, but (a) I'm not one to go around hugging strangers, and (b) they look like they're bitches.

---

And now I feel a little useless. I don't want to bother my lovely companion with my inane chatter. She's trying to work, after all. I just leafed through an entire chick magazine, but that didn't really make me feel any more useful. Not a lot of call for magazine-leafer-throughers these days, I don't think.

I'm not bored though. I mean, I am here after all. So it could be much much worse. Like I could be somewhere else and not have such a pretty girl for company.

This fancy caffeine soda isn't all that good. Tastes kinda like flat Sprite.

Wow, I've managed to fill up this entire sheet of paper with my scribblings. I thought for a second about just scanning it and then posting the image, but I don't think I want anyone to know just how bad my penmanship is.

---

And now, I've got a decision to make. Do I start writing on the back of this second sheet of paper, or do I stop?

I'm pretty sure that no lives will be saved or lost as a result of my decision, but it could definitely affect how bad these craps cramps in my hand get.

Heh, when I first wrote the word cramps I accidentally wrote craps instead.

Like I had craps in my hand.

Gross.

* - She was kidding, and I was totally fooled by her kidding. Of course she would have let me use her pen, and a sheet of paper.

posted by dave at 11:46 AM in category daily

It turns out that HairCutLady is still very much alive and in business. She just had her phone disconnected because they doubled her monthly rate.

So, yay!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008
posted by dave at 9:13 PM in category daily

As of tonight, it's been four weeks since my friend WomanRepellant died.

Since I'm in a crappy mood anyway, I figured I'd crack open a bottle of Avery The Reverend (625) and have another conversation with his ghost.

I hope he's been doing okay. I hope he took my advice, four weeks ago, to go and haunt pretty girls for a while. I know that's what I'd do if I were a ghost.

UPDATE: It was a nice talk. Even though I got distracted by some emails, he understood. And I certainly understood when he looked at his ghostly watch, muttered something about NotHideousGirl taking a shower, and vanished in a puff of fog.

He may have been a dirty old man, but he was my friend, and I miss him.

Monday, September 8, 2008
posted by dave at 10:21 PM in category daily, pictures

I think this was the third time I've been in the newspaper. At least the third time. One time I drove my car off a cliff in Seattle. Another time StoreGirl and I were at Rich O's when a local paper came in to do a story about the place.

The third time was today. Click the picture for the entire article, while it lasts.

and my name is spelled correctly!

This was an article about Rich O's and its owner Roger. I was mentioned in the first sentence and I was quoted a couple of times.

---

Also today, I got to talk to SassyGirl for a while! We'd been texting back and forth, and eventually I got sick of that and just called her ass up. She and JauntyGirl are doing well, but they're far away from here, so it's a very mixed blessing.

---

The rest of the day was kinda disappointing, except I got a sweet email while I was taking a nap. Maybe I'll have more to write before I go to bed. Don't hold your breath, though.

Sunday, September 7, 2008
posted by dave at 11:43 AM in category daily

So two freakazoids just rang my doorbell.

I don't know what they wanted, because I didn't answer the door. I just glared at them through slitted blinds as they shambled away, on foot.

Boo Radley's got nothing on me.

Saturday, September 6, 2008
posted by dave at 8:23 AM in category daily

Still trying to absorb last night, and still trying to figure out what I can write and what I should write.

I think it's perfectly safe to say that it was the best night I've had in a long time.

Friday, September 5, 2008
posted by dave at 12:02 AM in category daily

It usually hits me at night, like most things. I'll be downstairs shooting pool and it'll hit me, and I'll nearly drop my cue. I'll be out on my swing and it'll hit me, and my swing will coast to a stop. Or I'll be reading a book and it'll hit me, and I'll read the same paragraph a dozen times.

I am so incredibly blessed. That realization hits me, and I can think of nothing else.

It might seem like an odd thing, to have a best friend that you've never even met. I suppose it seemed odd to me, back when I first found her. She has become such an integral part of my life, but if I saw her walking down the street I might not even know her. If I spoke to her on the phone it might take me a few seconds to recognize her voice.

It might seem like an odd thing, but it doesn't. Not to me. To me it's as natural as breathing. And just as involuntary.

Three years ago today, that's when I found her.

---

Just got an email from her.

Told her that I'm trying to write this entry, for our anniversary, but that I'm experiencing writer's block.

I think the problem is that nothing I could ever possibly write would be enough. Not enough to even come close to describing how important she is to me. I don't have the words, and even if I did, I don't think I have the strength to put those words together.

I know that whatever I write will fall short of the mark. Trivialize the emotions. Marginalize the gratitude that I feel when I think about her being in my life.

I needed something, three years ago. I needed it so badly that I was dying from the lack of it. And she gave it to me.

Understanding.

Not pity, or doubt, or advice. She didn't try to rationalize what I was going through, and she didn't try to make it all better, and she didn't judge, and she didn't mock.

She understood.

And I went from feeling completely alone in this world, to having an ally. A kindred spirit I called her. And that knowledge, that wonderful knowledge that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't a freak, that I wasn't any of the things I'd been labeled as...

Wonderful.

I began to heal, three years ago on this day. I stopped waiting to die, and began struggling to live, three years ago on this day.

---

Sometimes I think that we take each other for granted.

I relish those thoughts, because they're absolutely true. We take each other for granted because that's exactly what we are.

We will always be friends. We will always be there for each other.

We are granted to each other.

---

Happy anniversary, my dearest friend Teri.

Thursday, September 4, 2008
posted by dave at 1:30 PM in category daily

1. On the way home last night, I stopped at a gas station for some Diet Pepsi. Sitting at a gas pump, about to leave, was BadPickleGirl.

What made this weird was that I never, ever, recognize BadPickleGirl right away. It's always that my hot girl radar goes off, and then I look over at her, and then it takes a few seconds before I realize it's BadPickleGirl.

Anyway, she gave me my two beer glasses back, so yay!

2. I was out on my swing last night emailing this chick from JS. I managed to get into a very bad mood because I wanted to be emailing you-know-who, but that didn't seem to be an option.

What made emailing the JS chick weird was that, after a couple of hours, she confessed that she'd been naked for like two hours while emailing me. I think she was trying to cheer me up, and it might have worked if my imagination worked better than it does.

And now the JS chick has a new nickname, and it's NakedGirl. I hope she likes it.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008
posted by dave at 3:02 PM in category daily, pictures

Monkeys I think

Those are supposedly monkeys. Giant inflatable albino monkeys. In blackface, for some strange reason.

Monkeys I think

I'm told they're supposed to be art, and that they're affiliated with the 21C museum/hotel across the street.

I don't know whether giant inflatable albino monkeys in blackface are art or not. What I do know is that (a) They seem kinda rascist to me, and (b) That's a busy interstate highway behind them, and (c) If I were driving down the highway and saw giant inflatable albino monkeys in blackface, I might just cause a 50-car pileup.

Maybe that's where the art would really be.

Monday, September 1, 2008
posted by dave at 1:31 PM in category daily

I had this idea for an entry last night, right about when I went to bed. Usually, when I have these late-night ideas, one of two things will happen. Either I'll get up and type up some quick notes to myself, or I'll fall asleep and then not remember anything in the morning.

Well, last night I did consider getting up and typing some notes. But my computer was all the way down at the other end of the hallway, so I just stayed in bed and went to sleep.

Imagine my surprise when, this morning at the crack of 10:30, I awoke with that same idea still rattling around in my head.

Now all I've got to do is figure out if I should write the thing.

It's kind of a two-parter, I think. The first part I could probably get away with, except for the fact that the first part leads quite obviously to the second part.

It's like a movie or a book that ends in a cliffhanger. You just know there's going to be a sequel, and you hope it doesn't suck.

This particular sequel, while it probably wouldn't suck, would almost definitely be taboo. Unless I can dress it up in metaphors so as to make it unrecognizable to anyone but me.

I need to think about this some more.

Sunday, August 31, 2008
posted by dave at 9:57 PM in category daily, ramblings

The first time was Friday. I've already mentioned how those particular plans fell apart as quickly as they'd been made. Too many things to do, in too short of a time period. I fell short.

The second time was Saturday night. Those plans never really had a chance to form. It became too late before it ever really became feasible.

Tonight was the third time.

So, I missed her. I wanted to see her.

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to feel those things, or write those things.

The feeling them part is involuntary and constant. May as well ask me to stop breathing.

The part about writing about those things is a little different. But I feel like I gave up a huge chunk of my dignity, a couple of months ago, to give myself the right to express those feelings without them being greeted with shock or outrage.

Anyway, like I said, tonight was the third time.

And, as the saying goes, third time's a charm.

It was really nice.

Saturday, August 30, 2008
posted by dave at 1:51 PM in category daily

Lunch was fun, I suppose. It would have been a lot more fun if LuckyFucker hadn't been constantly trying to pick a fight with HatGirl.

There, I said it. Not like it was a secret or anything. I'm a little bit disgusted.

None of my business, though. I just get protective towards people I care about.

---

Meanwhile, my cat Happy is pouting. I brought what was left of my Diet Coke home from Polly's, and it's in the same kind of cup that 'nanner milkshakes come in. So Happy thought I'd brought home a 'nanner milkshake.

I had to remove the lid and let him smell to convince him it was only Diet Coke.

Now he's inconsolable. I think I'll go back to Polly's and get some 'nanner milkshake for him, the poor thing.

Friday, August 29, 2008
posted by dave at 11:11 PM in category daily, drink, pictures

First, there was a surprise lunch invitation. I'll admit it freely - I was very excited about it. I mean, two days in a row!?! I was truly blessed. Or I would have been truly blessed if those lunch plans hadn't fallen apart as quickly as they had formed.

Second, there was dinner with BadPickleGirl. I really had a feeling that she was going to flake on me. We seemed to be making it much harder than it should have been. Well, sure enough, she cancelled at the last minute.

Third, I figured that I'd at least go over to Louisville, see AlliGirl, and check out CoolHairGirl's purple hair.

But noooooooooooooooooo!

They were having some stupid thing in Louisville, and they were charging a cover just to walk down the stupid street.

So, foiled not once, not twice, but thrice, I ended up just coming home. I ate some pizza. I watched Borat. I sat on my swing. I had a Newcastle (10648) and two Marzens (5116). I glared at my phone a lot.

All in all, It was still better than having my legs knocked out from under me and then being repeatedly kicked in the gut.

Anyway, here's a picture I took while peeing at Sam's this afternoon:

where is an editor when you need one

The part about .40¢ wings and .99¢ drafts and nachos and mini-cheeseburgers, that's one of my pet peeves. If you don't know why, then I probably think you're an idiot, just like I think the person who made this sign is an idiot.

But at least they've brought back mini football helemets. Good for them.

posted by dave at 11:20 AM in category daily, drink

Last night I wore a t-shirt that said I'm blogging this across the front. So, rather than be labeled a liar, I'll go ahead and actually write something.

Let's start with Wednesday, I suppose. There wasn't much to Wednesday. I went to Rich O's. At night. So that was something.

Let's see, I sat at the island and talked with some people. I don't remember who. Oh yeah, MusicalYuppieDude was one of them. I remember because he said there was a crazy guy over at the bar. I looked, but I didn't see him do anything crazy. Maybe he got his prescription refilled or something. Oh, and ExBartender was there too.

I had myself a yummy Schlenkerla Marzen (5047). I sent a million email messages. But mostly I watched the door, more out of habit than because of any actual anticipation.

The place was pretty dead, and they kicked everyone out early, so I came home.

Then yesterday I had a nice day, and it gave me enough confidence to go back to Rich O's last night. Wow, two nights in a row. One might almost think that I'm hanging out at Rich O's again. One would be wrong, but it would be an understandable mistake.

Last night, there was some big change... hope... zombie party going on in the special people section. I didn't go in there. In Rich O's proper, the fucking Thursday weirdoes were in full force. I sat at the island and had a little pizza and a Marzen (5064). Spent most of the time talking to PornAddict and SmooshDude.

And for some reason they kept playing techno music all night. That was messed up.

I was really bored, but I stayed for another Marzen (5081) because I wanted to see what LaptopGirl had done to her hair. I thought it looked really pretty, but of course I'm biased.

Then all the change... hope... zombies left the special people section and came into Rich O's proper looking for brains to eat, and I came home. I sat on my swing and had a Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (2636) and it was yummy.

Pretty damn exciting, I know. I've got a five-day weekend and I spend the first two nights sitting bored at Rich O's. Maybe tonight will be more interesting. I'm supposed to go hang out with BadPickleGirl for a while, and maybe go see CoolHairGirl's new purple hair.

Then tomorrow I get to have lunch with HatGirl. I'm obviously very excited about that.

Maybe I'll go out of town tomorrow after lunch. Or maybe not.

Thursday, August 28, 2008
posted by dave at 7:22 PM in category daily, ramblings

One of the things that always happens, is that my senses get so damn overloaded.

I spend all of my energy just trying to remain conscious. I focus so much on seeing that I forget to actually look. I focus so much on hearing that I forget to actually listen.

It's quite annoying, really.

There have been so many conversations that I've missed. Not because I wasn't there, but because I was so enthralled by the sound of a voice that the actual words became white noise. There's been so much beauty that I've failed to appreciate, not because I didn't see it, but because I was so mesmerized that everything became a blur.

It'll get easier, I keep telling myself.

But what do I know anyway. It could just as easily get worse.

I wish others could see what I see, hear what I hear.

Then maybe they could describe those things to me, once I get out of my daze.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure that lunch was nice today. I wish I could remember.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008
posted by dave at 9:16 AM in category daily

Yesterday HatGirl asked me if I was going to some Cabbage Patch auction and, if so, did I want a date.

I told her that a Cabbage Patch auction was probably just about the gayest thing I'd ever heard of, and that even with a hot girl in tow, it would still be too gay. I figured that I'd probably need at least three hot girls with me to counter the gayness. I mean, what if somebody saw me there?

See, I was thinking about the dolls. I was thinking that they were going to auction off Cabbage Patch dolls.

That would be pretty gay, right?

Well I guess it's just a regular auction, and Cabbage Patch is the name of the organization holding the auction. They help kids or something.

I'm still not going.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008
posted by dave at 9:26 AM in category daily

Not too much going on around here, but I'll do this anyway.

---

Looks like I have no broken bones from when I fell Sunday. Just bruises, and those are fading pretty well. Parts of me that yesterday were a nice grurple color are now merely bluish.

I'm damn sore, though. Especially my arms, which are colored normally.

---

I talked to StupidGirl for a couple of hours last night. Told her that it doesn't look like I'll be coming to Las Vegas until next Spring at least. She's okay with that. Probably because she's got a new boyfriend. Lot of that going around these days. I like StupidGirl. She's really nice. I hope this new guy treats her better than the last guy did. Not that that would be any great feat.

---

Starting Thursday, I've got five days in a row off work. I have absolutely no idea what, if anything, I'll be doing with those five days. Probably nothing, unless this current mood lightens. But I think I'd like to take a little trip somewhere for a night or two. Or maybe even *gasp* go to Rich O's during the night. We'll see.

---

That's it for now.

Monday, August 25, 2008
posted by dave at 11:10 AM in category daily

Forgot my rock today when I left for work. I feel oddly naked without it. Please note, however, that I'm not actually naked, so neither running to nor fro are necessary.

---

Yesterday I might have screwed myself up. I was getting out of my truck, with my arms full of stuff, when I slipped on a damn dryer sheet that somebody, some terrorist probably, had placed on the floor. My foot went right out from under me. I fell about three feet onto my concrete garage floor, landing on my right hip and left knee and left arm. So yeah, I apparently played an impromptu game of solo Twister on the way down.

This afternoon I get to go get x-rays. My hip, in particular, feels gimpy.

And what really sucked about falling, besides almost dying, was that as I fell I slammed the door of my truck into the door of my Monte Carlo. I'm kind of afraid to look at the latter to assess any damage. I know there was at least some paint transferred.

---

LuckyFucker has a new clam in his aquarium. It looks like a horribly-deformed vagina. It's creepy and erotic at the same time.

Sunday, August 24, 2008
posted by dave at 9:07 PM in category daily, ramblings

I bet I've killed over 1,000 North Koreans since Saturday morning. It's not that I have anything against North Koreans, per se, it's just that in this Crysis game I've been playing, they're the bad guys.

I know this particular game is pirated sold all over the world. I wonder how the average North Korean feels about playing as an American soldier and killing his countrymen.

---

This evening I pretend-married HatGirl and LuckyFucker. It was all very moving and romantic, I thought. HatGirl even cried, and so I even felt very guilty for making HatGirl cry.

Then we went to Red Lobster, and the food was yummy, so everything turned out okay in the end.

---

So I haven't had a drop of alcohol since Friday night. I'm not turning into a Jesus-freak or anything like that. It's just something that I was wondering about. I mean, both of my parents were alcoholics, so it's something I have to watch.

Could I go without beer for two days?

Certainly I could. And did. No problem whatsoever.

Certain recent events have reminded me that people, too often, look for the solutions to life's problems in the bottoms of glasses. Or in hypodermic needles. Or, much more drastically, down the barrel of a gun.

So I needed to prove to myself that I could go without drinking. I can, so that's cool.

Besides, the answer to life's problems doesn't lie in any of those places.

The answer to life's problems lies on the other side of a simple conversation. The other end of an email. It lies in fingertips that touch another person, lips that kiss another person.

It lies everywhere that there's proof that we're not alone in this world.

posted by dave at 12:24 AM in category daily

I had a really bad day today, one of the worst I've had in a long time. And, of course, I can't write a fucking thing about why, except to say that my stupidity played a big part.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe tomorrow I won't be so stupid.

Thursday, August 21, 2008
posted by dave at 2:42 PM in category daily

So last night was a frustrating bust. An ongoing email-delaying conspiracy between RIM and/or yahoo.com and/or barenada.com, a conspiracy with the single goal of making my life miserable - well last night it reached that goal.

So this morning, I tried again. Just a quick email to follow-up a conversation we'd had Tuesday night.

The reply that I received is the title of this entry.

You might ask what that means. I know that I certainly asked myself.

"Self," I asked, "What does that mean?"

"Fuck off and die."
Now, if you know me at all, or if you don't know me but you read a lot of my drivel, you know that this was the very first thing I thought of. Sometimes it's the only thing I think of. But not this time.

This time, after gazing out my fourth-story window and realizing that a leap from that height would not bring certain death, I did some more thinking. And I figured that with a message like "Fuck off and die," it's probably best to be as unambiguous as possible. That's not really something you want to have to repeat.

So I did even more thinking, and I came up with other possible meanings for that cryptic email.

"I found your email quite boring, and I will reply with the appropriate effort."
I don't really like this one, because it seems to contradict itself. I mean, if my email was truly boring, then wouldn't nothing be the appropriate level of response?

Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

"I am literally on a set, and there must be quiet, so stop making my phone vibrate."
This is at least plausible, as sets do exist, and they do require quiet, and I can certainly picture her gracing the presence of a set. This is my second-favorite explanation.

"I'm busy, leave me alone."
I think I'm going with this explanation. It's goes straight to the point, but it's still strange, presumably so that I don't forget who it's coming from. There's a little bit of personality displayed in the actual words chosen, and I like that very much.

---

I suppose that I'll eventually find out the truth behind those four strange words. Unless my first instinct was actually the correct one. In that case I guess I should start looking for a taller building.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008
posted by dave at 11:12 AM in category daily

Kind of a dull day so far. I'm working from home today because I'm waiting for the TV repairman to arrive. It'll be nice to have a working TV in my living room again. That flashing green light is pretty and all, but it doesn't have much of a plot, and the suspense is non-existent.

Besides getting a bunch of actual work done (no distractions) I've removed every cable from every A/V component in my entertainment center, just so I could get back there and be able to push my TV away from the wall. It was all overdue for a recabling anyway. A couple of the components are broken, and some of them I don't use anymore. So I'll take this opportunity to straighten everything out.

I never said this would be an interesting entry.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008
posted by dave at 8:19 PM in category daily

I just said no to HatGirl.

Let me rephrase that.

I just fucking said no to HatGirl.

It was just for a little favor, but it was one that I couldn't do.

I'm a dick. I never thought I'd ever say no to HatGirl for anything.

Maybe next I'll go out and step on baby ducks or something.

posted by dave at 7:51 PM in category daily

I thought of one possible new nickname. Or maybe it's more of a theme than a nickname. But she won't like it, I bet.

Today was kinda boring, until 1:00 or so, when a series of fortunate events found me having lunch with her at some hippie place in Louisville.

It was pretty weird, even for a hippie place, because instead of sitars and chanting, the music was things like Queen and Led Zepellin.

I think I did a pretty good job. Keeping my eyes in their sockets has become almost second-nature for me, and holding my jaw in a less-than-agape position is something I've been working on. There's still room for improvement there, I think.

I like being perfectly happy, even when it's only for a little while.

It's nice.

posted by dave at 10:10 AM in category daily

The first and second times, I described here. The third time was last night.

I found myself locked out of my house. Again.

Because keys to my house keep disappearing, I've been back down to a single key again for quite a while. I think my cat Nugget eats the keys. But it's one key for one person, so it's usually okay.

But yesterday was my cleaning day, so I took my key off my keychain and left it in its usual hiding place so VacuumLady could get into the house.

Then, when I got home, I retrieved the key from it's hiding place, let myself in, and sat the key on the washing machine.

Several hours later, I went to the store, and when I came home I realized that I'd never put that key back on my keychain.

I'd done it again.

Fuck!

My sledge hammer was still there in my garage. So I knew I could get into my house. I didn't have to worry about sleeping in my truck.

But for some reason I decided to check all of the outside doors and see if, by some miracle, any of them were unlocked.

The second door I tried - the door from my living room to my deck - was unlocked.

Yay!

Except that I wonder how long it's been unlocked. I can't remember the last time I used that door. Several days ago at least.

Monday, August 18, 2008
posted by dave at 4:26 AM in category daily

I had such a nice dream.

It bothers me that I can't write about my dream. Because it wasn't a dream at all.

I had such a nice evening.

Sunday, August 17, 2008
posted by dave at 9:41 PM in category daily, drink

So most of my plans fell way short of fruition.

I didn't take my cousin his memorial shirt.

I didn't stop at HH Gregg to inquire about a TV repairman.

And I didn't even get to pretend-marry HatGirl and LuckyFucker as the latter, I believe, chose this opportunity to pretend to have cold feet. Maybe next week, I'm told.

But the most important thing, I did get done. I got LaptopGirl's memorial t-shirt from my sister, and then I delivered it.

Any day wherein I get to see LaptopGirl is a damn good day as far as I'm concerned. Even though her son was eating pretzels and it made me really crave pretzels.

Oh yeah, another thing I didn't do was have dinner at the place where NotHideousGirl works. Nor did I, as I'd halfway planned later in the afternoon, make it to where AlliGirl works. Instead, I went to this Sam's place that I'd never been to before.

While there, I had a couple glasses of heterosexual Blue Moon (761) and some blackened steak tip thingies that were surprisingly good.

On the way home I bought a bag of pretzels. They were yummy.

posted by dave at 11:53 AM in category daily, drink

Never did hear back from AlliGirl about her birthday party. I guess I'd be annoyed by that if I didn't already have a gazillion other things on my mind.

I spent Saturday night as I'd spent Friday night, at home on my swing. I did make one brief trip down to see what all the damn sirens were for. There were sirens wailing nonstop for at least an hour. I went down and asked this girl at the gas station what had been going on. She said she saw a million fire trucks go by. It must have been a pretty big fire, to need a million fire trucks.

All of the local dogs were still howling when I went to bed at 12:00 or so

Let's see, I had my last two bottles of Moerlein OTR (262), even the bottle I'd been saving for MrPopular - it just jumped down my throat before I could stop it. Not that I really wanted to stop it. And so now I'll definitely have to go back to Covington. I should have gone yesterday. I can't go this coming weekend because I'm on-call for work.

I had a couple Newcastles (10444). I drunk-texted BadPickleGirl and she actually responded for once. I had a few email conversations. In one, I got accused of what I think is a class III misdemeanor, and that conversation was the highlight of my week.

I got to go to sleep in a good mood. It's been a while since that happened.

---

Today it seems like I've got a million things to do, but I can't think of what they all are.

I know that I'm going to dinner, probably where NotHideousGirl works. I think that, either right before or right after dinner, I'm pretending to marry HatGirl and LuckyFucker. I should probably call HatGirl to make sure we're still on for that.

Hmmm, I know that I've got to get LaptopGirl's memorial shirt from my sister.

Oh yeah, I've also got to take my cousin Jeff his memorial shirt.

I guess I should stop at the place where I bought my TV and see about getting a repairman out to look at it. I'm afraid that it's going to cost a million dollars, but it's got to be done. Can't really have a 65" TV that doesn't work, can I?

Saturday, August 16, 2008
posted by dave at 1:01 PM in category daily, drink

Last night I didn't do much of anything. Sat on my swing and traded some emails back and forth for a while, but then they stopped. I had a bottle of Stone Smoked Porter (542) and then a bottle of Moerlein OTR (238).

I'm almost out of the OTR, and I'd thought about going back to Covington today and picking up a case or so while I'm there. But I probably won't go, there's no point. And besides, AlliGirl's traveling birthday party is tonight, I think. So perhaps I'll head over to Louisville and try to run into her.

Or maybe I'll just stay home again.

Weeks.

That was the prediction I made, weeks ago. Now I'm starting to suspect that my prediction was just incredibly optimistic. Weird, for me to be too optimistic, I think.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008
posted by dave at 3:48 PM in category daily

Just some stupid things to change the subject.

---

Today is Wednesday, formerly also known as AlliDay. But now it's AlliLessDay.

AlliLessDay sucks.

---

Today I've spent most of my time striving to shift my anger back to where it belongs - to myself. I'm the one who did the stupid things for the stupid reason.

Who cares that I didn't know it was stupid at the time?

It's certainly not her fault. It's all mine.

---

I had Skyline for lunch today. I think they must have laced it with sleeping pills. I can't remember ever being so tired, except maybe last night at 8:00 or so.

---

HatGirl wants me to pretend to be a preacher and pretend to marry her and LuckyFucker. That might be fun.

---

Seriously, Miss. Don't come to the thing. Come and see me, that's fine. But if you're coming to the thing, then I won't be there. Please realize what a monumentally stupid idea you coming to the thing is.

---

I guess that's it for now.

Monday, August 11, 2008
posted by dave at 10:22 PM in category daily

Yesterday was the memorial for my nephew and his friends. Today was the anniversary of the accident. I guess I don't have a lot to say about that. Maybe it's all been said, or maybe I just don't have it in me.

But I'm so proud of my sister. Both of my sisters.

---

Today I stood in a horrible place, outside a horrible room, and I talked to a beautiful girl. And she was almost enough to make me forget where I was, and why I was there.

NormalGirl and I may have fizzled before we had a chance to catch fire, and we may never spark again. But, damn, it was nice to see her. To be distracted for a little while.

---

I've spent dozens, maybe hundreds of hours sitting on my swing and glaring at my phone. Trying to will it to ring. Tonight, I sat on my swing and willed my phone to stay silent.

Sunday, August 10, 2008
posted by dave at 2:50 PM in category daily, travel

My original plan, such at it was, had been to leave town after work Friday. I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday that I decided that I really needed to get away for a day or two. I needed to get away and, more importantly, other people needed me to be away.

But then, Thursday night, I talked to WomanRepellant. He was having some trouble with his computer, and we arranged that he'd call me Saturday morning so I could come and take a look at it.

So that kept me local for Friday night, and I'm glad that it did, because part two of Friday night was fantastic.

Well Saturday morning came and Saturday morning went without a call from my friend. He'd had a photo shoot scheduled for that morning, and he was supposed to call me at 10:00 or so when it was over. I tried to call him at 11:30. The phone just rang and rang. Change of plans, I figured.

So I found myself free to leave, and even eager to leave, but I didn't have a destination in mind. I chose Covington on a whim, more or less. I'd been there in the Spring and enjoyed it. I guess some deep recess of my brain might have thought that I might run into EyesGirl again. And I definitely knew I'd be able to have some Moerlein OTR. So, Covington it was.

The drive up was uneventful. I'd been hoping for some email or telephone companionship, but I think I screwed that up back in July. Oops.

After I'd arrived, and checked into a hotel room that was much more expensive than I'd hoped, about fifty metric butt-tons of drama ensued back home. I basically spent the rest of the day and night talking or typing into my Blackberry, trying to either ease or repair or at least keep up with various drama. So that was the context behind everything else I did Saturday night.

My hotel was conveniently located with a Skyline Chili across one street and a White Castle across another. It was also within walking distance of the tourist section of Covington. So, after a quick meal at Skyline, I walked up to the Cock & Bull bar. I'd gone there in April, so I supposed it was my Official Covington Bar or something.

And now I guess I'll have to continue this entry later.

Thursday, August 7, 2008
posted by dave at 10:42 PM in category daily

So I figured that I might as well write something. Just for kicks, and stuff.

I wrote an entry this afternoon. It's still in my drafts folder, nowhere near ready for posting. It wasn't supposed to be a depressing entry, but that's how it turned out. So it won't be getting posted anytime soon, not without major revisions.

One of the things I was thinking about, as I sat on my swing tonight, was how almost everyone is the same. Guys think they're cool. Girls think they're cute. Almost everyone thinks they're better than they really are. But, they're not. And they're not unusual or uncommon or unique either. Most people may as well have been born via cookie-cutter.

Is it so strange, I wonder, that when I finally meet those few girls who are actually different than almost everyone else, that I fall for them?

---

In my entry that I wrote today and didn't post, one of the things I mentioned was that SassyGirl had been in town to visit, and that I'd totally blown it with her. I mean, her timing really sucked. And I didn't return her calls, and I didn't go to Rich O's to see her.

I hoped that she would forgive me, eventually, though I doubted that she would.

But then today she called me, and then I called her back. She was still in town.

Yay!

So I went to Rich O's after work to see her.

SassyGirl was my best friend for a long time. Now I get to see her maybe once every six months. That's not nearly enough.

---

A week or so ago I got some publicity for my pool blog. And I got a lot of additional traffic. So much traffic, in fact, that now my server keeps crashing, and my hosting company is threatening to cancel my account.

So, that sucks.

And, right now as I type this, my email isn't working. That royally sucks, because I'm kinda in the middle of a conversation with LaptopGirl, I think.

---

People keep thinking that I mad or sad when I'm not. It's totally understandable, I suppose. At least the sadness thing is. I'm sad a lot of the time.

But I'm hardly ever mad, so I don't know where that accusation comes from.

NotHideousGirl was a champion at thinking that I was mad. But I never was. Until she accused me of it enough to make it self-fulfilling.

UPSDude did the same thing once. He accused me of being mad at him. I told him that I wasn't, but he kept accusing me, over and over, of being mad at him. About a gazillion times he did this, until finally I was mad at him.

---

I really really really want to go somewhere this weekend. Just get away from here for a few hours. I don't know where to go, though.

---

Hmmm, I thought I might have more to write. Maybe later.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008
posted by dave at 3:10 PM in category daily

Somewhere today, I'm not sure exactly where except that it was at a Subway, something amazing happened.

See, HatGirl was there, and so was LaptopGirl.

HatGirl, I haven't seen in four whole days. That might not seem like a lot, but four days without seeing HatGirl is like a jillion years without seeing most people.

And, speaking of a jillion years, I haven't seen LaptopGirl for at least that long, since right after the first primitive life-forms invented photosynthesis and started pumping oxygen into the atmosphere.

I wonder if, back then, the other primitive life-forms held big demonstrations to complain about all that oxygen polluting the air and causing global cooling.

Anyway.

Having LaptopGirl and HatGirl in the same place at the same time - pretty cool, right?

Except for one little tiny thing.

I wasn't there. So that sucked.

HatGirl was so lucky that she got to see LaptopGirl. LaptopGirl was so lucky that she got to see HatGirl. All those people at that Subway were so lucky that they got to see both of them.

Me, I didn't see shit. I sat here at work like a chump.

In a way, I suppose that the entire universe got lucky as well. Because there was a very real chance that, by having LaptopGirl and HatGirl in such close proximity to each other, there was a chance that a singularity might have formed. A black-hole of loveliness that could have devoured everything that existed.

So whew!

Maybe I was lucky that the universe didn't get destroyed in an inescapable infinite well of awesomeness, but I don't feel very lucky, because I wasn't at that fucking Subway.

Sunday, August 3, 2008
posted by dave at 5:20 PM in category daily

1. Sleep 10 hours.
2. Play Crysis for a while.
3. Go to Polly's Freeze for lunch.
4. Drive around for a couple of hours.
5. Sit in garage.
6. Shoot pool.
7. Sit on swing.
8. Glare at phone.

Saturday, August 2, 2008
posted by dave at 6:12 PM in category daily, drink

Plans quickly changed, as they are so often wont to do.

Instead of HatGirl and I going to look at diamonds then having lunch, It ended up being HatGirl and LuckyFucker going to look at diamonds, then joining me for lunch. I was still invited to go to the diamond thing, but I didn't want to feel like a third wheel all day long.

So, suddenly finding myself with an extra hour to kill, I went to Sportstime. It had been a week since I'd been to the NABC complex, and I was hopeful that Marzen might finally be back on tap.

But nooooooo!

So instead I had myself a nice Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (2554) and I talked to MisunderstoodGirl as she scurried between the kitchen and her assigned tables.

Then I went over to Buckhead in Jeffersonville. Actually, first I poked my head into the Hooters there to see if my cousin Jeff was there. He wasn't, so I went to Buckhead then.

HatGirl and LuckyFucker were, of course, late in arriving. I guess I'm used to that, and this time it wasn't their fault. A diamond emergency made them late.

Once they arrived, we sat out on the deck and ordered lunch. For some reason, even though there were about 10 open tables out there, the hostess sat us right next to the only other occupied table. It was really strange. It was also quite annoying, and HatGirl especially didn't like it. So we ended up picking up our shit and moving inside.

That HatGirl is so anti-social sometimes. That's why we get along so well I guess.

And one of the waitresses kept giving me the stink-eye. Probably one of MixedSignalGirl's friends. (About your height, Miss. Maybe about 32 years old. With long dark hair in a pony tail. She kinda looked familiar.)

Oh yeah, with my lunch I had a Franziskaner Hefe-Weissbier (24). I would have had a Paulaner, but they were out, the fuckers.

Then once lunch was over I stuck my head back into Hooters. Jeff was there this time, but he was surrounded by a bunch of high-fiving white guys, so I quickly said hello and then came home.

posted by dave at 12:14 PM in category daily

I get to go see HatGirl now and look at diamonds and maybe have lunch!

Yay!

Friday, August 1, 2008
posted by dave at 11:42 PM in category daily

It doesn't make any sense that I'm as exhausted as I am right now. I mean, I took a four-hour nap that ended only four hours ago.

So I slept too long, and when I woke up, I didn't feel like going to my stupid high school reunion. So, I didn't go. What I did instead was sit on my swing and drink a couple beers and watch some lightning. I think I made the right decision, though I imagine that I'll probably regret skipping the reunion at some point.

It ended up being a nice quiet Friday night. Just what I needed and wanted.

There was a bit of potential excitement for a while, when HatGirl pondered joining me for a drink or two. But then she and/or LuckyFucker pussed out, and those plans dissolved before they had fully formed.

So, to summarize, I slept for four hours, then I sat on my ass for four more hours, and now I'm exhausted.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008
posted by dave at 1:49 PM in category daily

Nope, not talking about me. Though that's certainly an understandable mistake.

I'm talking about my brother-in-law, Chris.

So Sunday evening we're all sitting on Dina's deck, mostly watching the kids splash each other in the pool, and all of a sudden I hear Dina shout out, "Chris, be careful!"

I glanced over toward Chris, and caught a glimpse of him falling off the deck. Then about a half-second later, I saw the extremely heavy wooden bench fall off the edge of the deck right after Chris. There were several loud thuds and maybe even a crack.

I think that, for a second or two, every single one of us figured Chris has just been killed right in front of us.

Dina, being younger, was faster than I was in getting up and running to where Chris had fallen. I was about a second behind. Chris's wife (my sister Neisha) was in the pool, as were all the kids.

But before anyone (except Dina) could really start to freak out, Chris announced, "I'm fine."

And, apparently, he was. Despite falling several feet at an odd angle and then having an 800-lb bench fall on top of him, Chris stood up, did a quick count of limbs and digits, and again announced that he was fine.

In fact, he was in much better shape than Dina was, what with the fifteen simultaneous heart attacks she was having. But all ended well.

So, whew! right?

The theory I came up with is that Chris is indestructible. Seeing several rocks, sticks, and other assorted improvisational weapons scattered about Dina's yard, I suggested that we should test my theory.

It would have been fun, I thought. But nobody else wanted to do it, so I left and went to Red Lobster for dinner instead.

Sunday, July 27, 2008
posted by dave at 7:58 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

I wake up underwater. I'm asleep one second, then the next second I'm disoriented and drowning. Struggling to survive, wondering if I have the strength, wondering if it's worth it.

So, that's not a lot of fun.

---

I've mentioned before how I can't stand to be away from my phone, for fear that I might miss a call or an email or a text from someone important. As this past week has been especially dramatic, I've taken to having my phone shoved up my ass when I shower, just so I'm sure that I won't miss anything.

Then, yesterday afternoon, I went to get my empty trash can from the end of my driveway. I'd been sitting in my garage, contemplating shit, and I left my phone where it was. I even remember telling myself, "Self, you idiot. Now just watch you'll get a call while you're getting your precious trash can."

So then I walked to the end of my driveway and back, and looked at my phone, and the fucking thing was blinking.

I only dropped it twice, fumbling to enter the password, so I'm getting better at that.

---

I did get another call later on. MixedSignalGirl called to check on me and say hello. We talked for an hour or so. I really screwed up with her, but she's happy now, and that's all that matters.

---

Then I got to go on a Super Top Secret Mission of Mystery, fraught with peril. It was fun, and there were no hitches. It was all very sneaky and clandestine. I wish we'd have worn ninja costumes, though. That would have been cool.

---

When I got back home, I sat on my swing and had about a bottle and a half of Left Hand Goosinator (115) and thought about the past and the future.

Not the present, though.

Fuck the present.

---

Friday night I rated my 496th beer. I've been thinking a lot about my 500th rating, which will probably happen this week. I want it to be something crappy, just because I think it would be funnier that way.

Because LaptopGirl is my official swill consultant, I have charged her with selecting the beer that will be my 500th. She suggested Lone Star. That's a good choice, though I'm not sure if I can get it around here. Her backup suggestion is Sapporo.

(Update: Her emergency fallback selection is MGD.)

(Update again: Or Mad Dog. I see her evil plan now. She's trying to drown me in swill. One way to get rid of me, I suppose, but there are more humane methods. I bet the Geneva Convention strictly prohibits drowning-by-swill.)

Anyway, I guess that's it.

Friday, July 25, 2008
posted by dave at 1:35 PM in category daily

So last night I reposted an old entry about blindness. Then, this morning, I awoke to find myself blind in my left eye.

Pretty crappy coincidence, right?

Right.

I guess a few days ago, maybe Sunday or Monday, I either got something in my eye or I scratched my eye. Something happened, because it started to feel a little uncomfortable when I'd blink or whatever.

Over the past couple of days, It's gotten a little worse, as I'd poke and prod and just generally fuck with it. I checked it out thoroughly. I also washed it out under the kitchen faucet. I neither saw nor obviously dislodged any debris, so I figured I must have scratched it.

Anyway, last night I reposted that stuff about blindness, then this morning my left eye was almost completely swollen shut.

I looked like I'd just gone ten rounds in the boxing ring. Or I guess I looked like Will Smith did in that Hitch movie.

I couldn't see out of my left eye, because of the swelling and the mucous and whatnot, so I did the next best thing. I poked and prodded and fucked with it all morning. As RockGirl pointed out, I have a spare eye for when I ruin one.

Then today at lunch, I was having AlliGirl check out my eye. She said it looked "a little bad." Since this morning it had looked "really fucking bad," I went to the restroom, braced myself, and looked in the mirror.

It's a lot better now. I'm not nearly as hideous as I was this morning. Hideousness being totally relative, of course.

And it doesn't hurt as much when I fuck with it.

So I've cancelled my appointment to have my glass eye fitted. At least for now, I'm binocular again.

Update: I had the nurse at work flush it out with some battery acid. That hurt a lot, but now my eye is almost back to normal. Yay!

posted by dave at 1:10 AM in category daily, ramblings

Please don't do it.

I wish I had some magic words, but I've already said too much. Way too much, and it still wasn't enough.

---

Got a nice black leather sofa from BadPickleGirl today. It's in my basement, where it will displace this one ugly chair, after I move the shelves away from that wall.

My cat Nugget is scared of the new sofa, of course. I'm hopeful that his fear will keep him from shredding it to bits. At least for a couple of weeks, until he figures out that it's leather and therefore edible.

---

Dammit, this is supposed to be my fucking journal. My fucking outlet. It's not supposed to be some stage where I perform for my audience's amusement. And there's definitely no fucking script.

---

One of the ways that I know I'm in a very weird mood is when I start thinking in metaphors. Like tonight, I started thinking about how I jumped out of a perfectly good lifeboat because I thought I saw the glimmer of a lighthouse on the horizon.

The lifeboat moved away, and the glimmer proved false, and now my lungs fill with water.

Sometimes metaphors are fun. And sometimes they're useful.

And sometimes they're nothing but stupid.

---

I pretty much have to accept that people lied to me for years. I wonder why they did that. Was it to make me feel better? Was it to get me to shut the fuck up?

Or maybe, just maybe, they didn't know they were lying at all.

---

I've been on-call all week. It blows.

---

Speaking of glimmers, I like this entry, from 2005:

When you live your life in total darkness, it doesn't take much.

The smallest spark, the slightest flash of light, can capture your full attention. Even after it's gone, the memory of that flash lives on.

Sometimes that flash is welcomed, but most times, most times it's only reminding you of what's missing.

A man gone blind does not always wish for sight, for there can be comfort in the dark.

Acceptance. Tranquility. Peace. All erased by a spark, a glimmer, a splash of light that does nothing but burn the retinas and leave ghost images floating and intruding.

A flash is nothing by itself. It's over in an instant. But the memory of it lingers, and the blind man sometimes wishes he could forget.

I think I need to consult a thesaurus more often.

---

I should try to sleep now. I hope I don't dream.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008
posted by dave at 1:38 PM in category daily, drink

So today was probably the last AlliDay ever. Though I guess there may be one more, next week. AlliGirl is changing shifts and won't be working Wednesday day-shift anymore.

Wednesday. What a boring word that is. And, from now on, it will probably be a boring day.

My Newcastle (10200), by the way, was yummy.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008
posted by dave at 6:48 PM in category daily

Went to Rich O's today, after work. And, for the first time in a long time, I saw absolutely nothing appealing on the board. I'd been kinda craving a Weihenstephaner, but that keg had blown. I'd kinda been craving a draft Marzen, but that keg hasn't arrived yet. Yesterday I had an NABC Flat Tyre (1009), but I didn't feel like having another one today.

The beer board looked so uninteresting to me that I actually considered having an Arrogant Bastard. But then I remembered that I don't like Arrogant Bastard all that much.

So I ended up just driving home.

At least tomorrow is AlliDay, so I'll get to have a yummy Newcastle.

Monday, July 21, 2008
posted by dave at 10:35 AM in category daily

Okay, so I've lost all motivation for this journal. For a lot of things. I need to step back for a while.

Sunday, July 13, 2008
posted by dave at 10:22 PM in category daily, drink

Crap crapity crap!

So there I was, sitting on my swing and enjoying a lovely Malheur 10 (96). Counting lightning bugs, glaring at my phone, whistling for the neighbor's dog.

I was having a nice night, but then something horrible happened.

My fancy Gulden Draak glass, still almost full of yummy beer, suddenly leapt from its position between my thighs and flung itself onto the bricks at my feet.

Shattered, into a hundred pieces. The beer draining into the spaces between the bricks before I could even think of getting my tongue down there.

It all happened so fast.

Why? Why did my glass take its own life like that?

*sniff* I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

I wish I'd known that something was wrong.

I wish I'd known what danger signs to look for.

And I definitely fucking wish it had waited until it was empty, instead of taking ten ounces of yummy Malheur 10 with it.

Such a waste.

Saturday, July 12, 2008
posted by dave at 5:48 PM in category daily, travel

You ever find yourself at an airport with some time to kill, so you just sit around watching people?

Yeah, me too.

You ever see a guy in purple parachute-pants, a yellow wife-beater shirt, and the name "Adrian" tattooed on his arm, and say to yourself, "Self, there goes the gayest guy on Earth?"

Yeah, me too.

Then did you ever turn your head at a squishy/slurpy sound, and see a guy walking down through the airport with four dicks in his mouth? And then did you say to yourself, "Self, you were totally wrong before. That's the gayest guy on Earth, right there."

Yeah, me too.

---

Anyway, I'm back home now.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008
posted by dave at 2:16 PM in category daily, drink, travel

I was up to Saturday night with these ramblings, and then I stopped. I don't know why I stopped. Because, after all, absolutely nothing happened Saturday night. I myself stayed home and made gift baskets for orphans all night long.

If you think that anything happened Saturday night, then you're clearly smoking crack and you should seek professional help.

---

So then Sunday I ended up going to Don Pablo's for dinner. I got to see NotHideousGirl for the first time in a million years, and I got to eat yummy food. So there.

Then I went across the street to Hooters and had some Newcastles (10008) and talked to this one dude I went to school with.

You may notice that I passed 10,000 ounces of Newcastle. This doesn't count, though, because I was supposed to save that occasion for AlliDay. I screwed up, and it was only because AlliGirl is so nice that I was given a do-over.

---

Let's see, Monday night I had one of the new beers that I'd bought Saturday at Barley Island.

Barley Island Bourbon Barrel-Aged Oatmeal Stout

(bottle) Black with thin tan head. Mild aroma of bourbon. Medium mouthfeel. Flavor more intense and bourbony that the aroma had hinted. As an oatmeal stout, there isn't much flavor except for the bourbon. Pretty good, though gimmicky.
So that was pretty good.

Then yesterday after work I had another new beer for me.

Victory Golden Monkey

(draft) Pours clear and golden with a large long-lasting head. Nice aroma of apple peels and malts. Smooth and creamy mouthfeel. Flavor more malty than most tripels, maybe some caramel in there that coats the mouth. Quite damn good.
One of the most pleasant surprises I've had in a long time, beer-wise.

---

And then today, for AlliDay, I had my official 10,000th ounce of Newcastle (10028). There was a big party with balloons and dancing girls. It was fantastic.

Okay, what really happened was that AlliGirl bought my beer for me and gave me a hug. Still pretty damn cool, though.

---

The dude I talked to Sunday reminded me that my high school reunion is approaching in less than three weeks. I guess I don't care. I had originally planned to go, but I don't want to go by myself.

So, basically, waaaaah!

---

Tomorrow I go to Atlanta. It might be fun, but I doubt that I'll find myself in Atlanta, either.

Monday, July 7, 2008
posted by dave at 10:07 AM in category daily, drink, pictures, travel

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, at the stupid depressing park.

I'd gone there, as I'd gone to Polly's Freeze earlier, looking for myself.

I wasn't at either place. I remember running into myself once a long time ago. At Rich O's of all places. That was nice, but that was also the last time.

Anyway, by the time I'd returned home from the floodwall park, it was clear to me that there was a 0% chance that anything good would happen Friday night. Understandable, but of course disappointing. Because of this, I saw no reason to bother leaving my house at all. So that's precisely what I didn't do at all. Instead, I sat on my swing and I glared at my phone and I had three yummy bottles of Delirium Nocturnum (157), and that was it.

Then by Saturday at around noon, I'd once again gleaned that there was a 0% chance of anything good happening. Still understandable, still disappointing. But whereas on Friday that 0% had caused me to lose all motivation, on Saturday I couldn't run out the door and jump into my truck fast enough.

Luckily, I always carry a spare pair of pants in my truck, for times such as that. When I don't want to waste time putting on pants before I leave my house.

What I did, and this really was a spur of the moment decision, was I drove up to Noblesville, Indiana. To the Barley Island brewpub, specifically. Just something to do, really. I might just as well have picked Oaken Barrel, as it's slightly closer to home, but I had Barley Island on my mind because LaptopGirl had been raving about their Barfly IPA.

The drive up took a couple of hours. It was uneventful, though I felt bad because I kept getting emails but I was driving and couldn't type my responses very well. I managed to survive the drive* though. I even managed to respond to some of the emails, when the traffic and the rain let up enough.

The first thing I noticed, upon entering the brewpub, was that it was really dark. Like being inside a cave at midnight with my eyes closed and a bag over my head. But then my eyes started to adjust, and I was able to grope and stumble my way, around a bunch of empty tables and up an unfortunately-placed step, to the bar area.

I only took one picture, and it's a pretty crappy picture, even by my standards.

Barley Island

The first thing I did, after seating myself, was order a trio of small samples, of the three available draft selections that I hadn't had before.

Barley Island Sheet Metal Blonde

(draft) Color of hazy grapefruit juice. Light citrus aroma. Very light citrus flavor, with a bit of sourness, like grapefruit juice. Good, not great.
Okay, a Belgian-style wheat. Always welcome.

Barley Island Blind Tiger Pale Ale

(draft) Clear light brown. No detectable aroma or flavor. There was a slightly bitter hoppy finish, but not enough to be completely disgusting. A waste of my time.
I only had about one ounce of that crap.

Barley Island Barfly IPA

(draft) The color of clear weak tea. Light aroma of floral hops. Medium mouthfeel. Flavor decent but mild. The slightly bitter finish went away after a few sips. Maybe a good session beer.
Yet another IPA, but this one was with the floral kind of hops that I like sometimes. This was the beer that LaptopGirl had been raving about since she'd discovered it at the beer date thingy last weekend.

I went ahead and ordered a full glass of the Barfly (20), and enjoyed that with my yummy burger and fries. I traded a bunch more emails with LaptopGirl, and a few with RockGirl.

I relaxed fairly well I suppose, but I could already tell that I wouldn't be staying. I guess I'd been hoping to find myself, up there away from all of the distractions of home. But I wasn't there, either. I'm still a slippery bastard I guess.

So next I had a Dirty Helen (400), which is one of my favorite brown ales. And then I had something I wasn't expecting. The place had a couple of guest beers available, and one of those guest beers was an all-time favorite of mine. So my last beer was an incredibly yummy Two Brothers Domaine DuPage French Style Country Ale (310).

Before I left, I bought a couple of bottles to have at home sometime. I also picked up a growler of the Barfly for LaptopGirl.

The drive home was uneventful.

* - Poet and don't know it.

Sunday, July 6, 2008
posted by dave at 11:49 PM in category daily, pictures

Then, after I visited the creepy zombie clubhouse, I continued the short distance down the road to the park.

I'm pretty sure that the park has a name, but I can't remember what that name is. Probably named after some dipshit with money.

Back when I was a teenager, right after the last ice age, I'd come down to the floodwall fairly often. Note that it was the floodwall then, not a park. At least once every weekend we'd go down there. Lots of kids my age went down there. We'd shoot the shit. Drink our illegally-obtained beer, smoke cigarettes like chimneys. Make out, have sex sometimes. We were kids - we did kid stuff.

But then, shortly after I left home to join the Air Force, a lot of crap happened down at the floodwall.

Some assholes decided to make it into a park.

And not only that, they decided to make it into the worst park ever.

It closes at dusk now. Before, the fun didn't even start until hours later. Now, I think they're allowed to shoot you if you go there after dark.

They constructed all this new shit. Seating and a bandstand and shit like that. Before, it was just a bunch of concrete pillars you could climb on.

Anyway, here are some pictures I took.

Sherman Minton Bridge

This is the Sherman Minton Bridge. It's how I-64 connects Indiana and Kentucky. Everyone takes pictures of this bridge, when they're down at the floodwall park. I think it's a rule or something. I drive across this bridge every day going to and coming from work.

Other Bridge

Looking upriver, once can see another bridge. I think this is the K&I bridge, used for trains only. Though I think I've heard mumblings about maybe opening the old car lanes up to pedestrians and bicyclists. I have very dim memories of riding across that bridge with my parents when I was very young. I remember that you could see right through the road into the water, as the road surface consisted only of metal grating.

By far the most noticeable "improvement" they've made down here is this monstrosity.

Ugly

Ugly

Again, there used to be nothing here but pillars you could climb on. It was a gazillion times better then.

At the very top of the earthen floodwall, there's a platform thingy. I climbed to the top and took this next picture.

Ugly

Dedicated stalkers will, of course, recognize my truck parked way down there on the road.

The top of the floodwall used to be reserved for starry-eyed couples. Now they've gone and made it accessible for everyone.

Pbbbbt

But hey, it's not all bad I guess. That playground looks kinda fun.

Wheeee!

---

The whole thing was just very depressing to me. Yet another part of my adolescence that's gone for good.

There was an old man. He was sitting on a bench near where I parked my truck, just sitting and watching the river flow by.

I imagined him as a future version of myself. Just sitting and watching the water pass him by, and remembering everything else that had passed him by over the years.

The old man glared at me when I parked my truck, for intruding into his world like that. I think he just wanted to be left alone, so that's what I did.

When I climbed to the top of the platform thingy, he was gone. Maybe he jumped into the river, or maybe one of his girlfriends came and picked him up. I'll never know. Either way, I'll never see that old man again, nor he I. And that makes me sad. I bet it'd be cool to have a beer with him.

posted by dave at 3:32 PM in category daily, pictures

Okay, so Friday sucked, Saturday sucked, and Sunday isn't looking too good, either.

Is that enough? Does that count as an entry?

No?

Okay, fine.

I already mentioned that I went to the river Friday. Specifically, I went to this depressing little park that they've built on the river-side of the floodwall.

But before I got to the park, I stopped at this creepy little building and took some pictures. See, RockGirl has been sending me pictures of all these neat scary old buildings where she lives. So I figured I'd reciprocate a little.

creepy building

That's a little building next to the river, on the same road that the park is on. I must have passed it a zillion times in my youth, but I'd never taken a good look at it before.

nice brick work

I like the way they did masonry back in the olden days. Even for a crappy little building like this, they added some class and took pride in their work.

potty chair

One very weird thing was that I saw an old potty chair through the partly-open door.

zombie clubhouse

Whereas the old abandoned buildings in RockGirl's area are huge zombie fortresses, she said this building looked more like a zombie clubhouse. But I guess it's actually just an old pumping station. A zombie clubhouse would be cool, though.

I think I'll put the stuff about the actual park in another entry.

Thursday, July 3, 2008
posted by dave at 5:48 PM in category daily

I've recently been told that, as a blogger, I'm actually expected to write stuff.

So okay fine. I'll write something. Plus, I'm waiting for some clothes to dry.

I wasn't going to write about this at all, but my hand has now been forced, and I'll look like a wimp if I don't write about it. So, like I said, I'll write something.

The other night I was out on my swing. I love my swing on the warm Summer nights. I can sit out there with a nice beer and I can play fetch with the neighbor's dog and I can contemplate the universe.

I can also have nice little email conversations and occasional phone conversations, though the latter are fairly rare these days.

So the other night I was having a nice little email conversation with LaptopGirl. I think I must have bored her because she disappeared on me. Then, the next day, she said she'd fallen asleep. I've heard of this sleep thing. I even seem to have some vague memories of doing it myself, but I can't be sure. Those may be false memories implanted by aliens, or the media, or maybe the alien media.

Anyway, after I'd bored LaptopGirl into Snoozytown (pop: everyone but me) my phone rang. A number that I don't have in my phone's memory. Instead, a number that's burned into my brain.

MixedSignalGirl.

Yay?

We had the world's shortest phone conversation. And that was probably a good thing because I was having a hard time holding onto the phone anyway. Because our last conversation hadn't gone very well. This one was better, and shorter.

Me: Hello?

MSG: Are you at home?

Me: I'm out on my swing.

MSG: Save me a seat.

Me: Don't come here.

MSG: I'm on my way. (click)

Eeek!

So I figured that I had some choices.

First, I could spontaneously burst into flames. I tried that for a few seconds, but I must have been doing it wrong because all that happened was that I peed my pants a little.

Second, I could run into my house and turn off all the lights and hide. I didn't really consider this, once I remembered that MixedSignalGirl probably still has a key to my house and she knows the alarm code.

Third, I could be a man and just sit and wait for her. That's what I decided to do. I mean, what was the worst thing that could happen?

The next day I emailed RockGirl about the visit. Here's an edited version of that email.

Well, she came over. Just like she still did it all the time. Just like she still had every right to come over whenever she felt like it.

I didn't know what to expect. I thought maybe she was going to throw herself at me and say she was moving back here. I thought that maybe she was going to show up with her boyfriend and force me to meet him. (deleted)

It wasn't nearly as dramatic as any of that. It was a lot like the olden days. She pulled in the driveway and parked in front of the detached garage. She waved at me on my swing. She got out of her car and plopped down next to me and said , "Hi!"

Just like it hadn't been a million years, since she'd sat on that swing with me.

We had a couple beers. She stayed until a little before 3:00. Nothing happened. We just sat and talked about the olden days and what had gone wrong and what had been happening with her and with me. (deleted) She told me about how wonderful her boyfriend is, and I managed to be happy for her about that. Even though I don't believe it, not really. We talked about my nephew Cory and how Dina is still struggling to deal with that loss.

All she really wanted to do was see me and make sure I didn't hate her for moving away and for finding someone new. And her boyfriend is arriving in town today, so last night was the only opportunity she had to see me. I told her that of course I didn't hate her. But I also didn't tell her that I love her. (deleted)

I gave her a hug when she left. I think she was feeling better. I'm not sure that I was, but at least I wasn't feeling any worse.

So anyway, that was interesting.

And now I've written something.

Sunday, June 29, 2008
posted by dave at 10:17 PM in category daily, dreams, drink

First, I had got to do some stuff for work. There were three things to do, and I got two of them done. The third thing showed some potential problems during final testing, so I decided to put it off until I can research it some more. Because I'm all about quality control and shit.

Then, I took a nap. I dreamed about LaptopGirl, probably because she emailed me and woke me up right at that precise moment when I was about to drift off to sleep. Anyway, it wasn't a very good dream, because LaptopGirl was mean to me in the dream, and in the dream I got angry at her. Then when I woke up I was still angry at her for a while. Stupid, I know.

Then HatGirl and LuckyFucker came over for a while.

HatGirl!

Yay!

I took about 800 pictures of them. Standing in front of a tree. Sitting on my swing. Standing in front of another tree. I have no idea why HatGirl chose me to take the pictures. But it was still fun to pretend that I had a clue about what I was doing.

(Deleted)

Then, I went to Hooters and had a couple glasses of Newcastle (9910) and watched some baseball on TV.

Then, I came home.

There's still a chance that HatGirl and I will test my video chat capabilities tonight, but it's getting pretty late so probably not.

Saturday, June 28, 2008
posted by dave at 2:27 PM in category daily, drink

Friday night, LaptopGirl and I went to this Bier Prost 2008 thingy at our local riverboat casino complex. I insisted on calling this a date. LaptopGirl insisted that it was merely a thingy. But then I guess her mom said it was a date. So there. Majority rules.

I don't think that either of us was at all sure what to expect there. The flyer said something like, "Beer and food from around the world." So that sounded cool. right? I guess I was expecting it to be more beery than it was. I mean, they had a bunch of tubs with bottles of beer in them. We got cute little ceramic sample cups that would hold about two ounces of beer. Then we'd walk around and ask the bored people working the tubs for whatever we wanted.

None of those people knew about or cared about beer. The only brewery representatives there were from NABC.

It was like the people running the event just went out to a liquor store and bought a bunch of bottles and then put them in tubs full of ice. Even the other attendees seemed to be there just for the charity aspect.

But most disappointing to me was the food. It was just like they called some caterer and said we want some various stuff, and that's all they got.

But the point of the thing, for the people running it, wasn't beer and it wasn't food. It was some charity thing that I never heard of before. So they obviously wanted to save costs wherever they could.

The point of the thing for me, of course, wasn't beer or food either. It was to get to spend some time with LaptopGirl away from Rich O's. And that goal was very well satisfied.

Anyway, I did have some beers. Most of these were just 2-ounce samples. Here are the ones that were new to me:

Barley Island Flat Top Wheat

(bottle) Fizzy, with a nice aroma and a pretty good taste. Very light. More like a Belgian wheat than an American or German wheat. Pretty good. I'll look for this.
Grimbergen Dubbel
(bottle) Dark brown with a nice head. Aroma of dark fruits and maybe some chocolate. The flavor was surprisingly good to me. I will definitely look for this again. Probably today.
Grimbergen Blonde
(bottle) Usually I know to steer clear of any beer calling itself a blonde, but this was listed as a Belgian Triple in the flyer, so I tried it. I liked it. There was nothing outstanding about it, but neither was there anything wrong with it. Maybe a watered-down Delirium tremens. Good.
Singha
(bottle) Straw and other dead weeds, in both the aroma and the flavor. Not very hoppy. Not very much of anything. Disgusting.
Hansa Pils
(can) Pretty metallic. Quite gross. I don't think that even people who like lagers would like this.
KEO
(can) Just gross. Smelled of rotten hops, and tasted very metallic. It tasted to me like it was skunked. Suprisingly bad.
Okocim Porter
(bottle) I know I'd had this before, but I'd never reviewed it. As a Baltic Porter, it of course reminds me of my beloved Baltika 6. Dark and roasty and chocolatey. Just a touch of alcohol burn at the finish makes me want more right away. Good.
After the thingy was over, we walked down to the actual riverboat casino and looked around for a couple of minutes. Then we went to the Legends bar to sit and talk some more. We each had another beer, in a full-sized glass this time.

Then we came back to New Albany, and LaptopGirl got this sudden intense craving to stop and eat at this one place I'd never been to before called Waffle House. Anxious to prolong the evening as much as I could, I readily agreed. So we sat and talked some more while she got something to eat, then I took her home and then I came home myself.

It was a really fun night for me. Kinda surreal, but really fun.

Friday, June 27, 2008
duh
posted by dave at 9:35 AM in category daily

Of course I'm excited.

I just don't want to jinx it.

Thursday, June 26, 2008
posted by dave at 9:45 PM in category daily, pictures

What a disappointment.

They weren't lingerie photos after all. Just bikinis.

Come to think of it, I might have been told that, when they first started flooding in. I just forgot when I saw all the Victoria's Secret URLs.

I'm supposed to help HatGirl pick something for a cruise, I guess.

I like the one in the lower right.

bikinis

posted by dave at 7:33 PM in category daily

So, not the best day for me, but I'll get over it I suppose.

Had the world's longest and most pointless meeting this morning. The eventual outcome of the meeting was, "We don't know anything, let's schedule another meeting and maybe we'll know something by then."

During the meeting, about a million fire trucks showed up and nearly surrounded our building. This struck me as strange, mainly because none of us were on fire at the time. As it turned out, there was an alarm at a nearby building. Luckily it turned out to be a false alarm.

The rest of the work day was okay, I guess. I've got so much crap to do. I think I'm going to have to burn a day of vacation tomorrow so I'll have time to do some of the crap. I think this is how workaholics are born.

Speaking of being retarded, I left a sleeping bag out on my deck, and now it's soaking wet because it stormed a little while ago.

Also, my stupid cats are acting like they're starving to death, but their food bowls are full. Because I fed them this morning, disrupting their usual schedule. I doubt that they've even bothered to look to see if they have any food.

Also, I sometimes I really miss working for myself. Stupid internet bubble bursting...

Grrrr.

I think that's it for now. I've got lingerie pictures in my email that I'm supposed to look at.

Sunday, June 22, 2008
posted by dave at 7:24 PM in category daily, drink, pictures, weather

So today I went to Jeffersonville.

First time in a couple of years, I think, that I've graced that town with my presence. At least on my own - I seem to recall going to Buckhead for lunch with some coworkers more recently.

Buckhead is where I went today, of course. I like the food there. I like the memories that resurface there. And they usually have good beer, too.

I sat out on the deck, oddly optimistic that it wouldn't rain while I was eating, and I enjoyed a yummy Cajun burger and a Paulaner Hefeweissbier (551) in a plastic cup.

It was very nice out today, as long as it was cloudy. As soon as the Sun would come out from behind the clouds - as happened several times - I'd almost immediately start being roasted alive.

But, it was usually cloudy, and so I survived.

Then, I went across the street to Hooters to see my cousin Jeff. I haven't seen him since my nephew's funeral, but that's not entirely my fault. He has agreed to share a lot of the blame.

Anyway, here's a picture of the potential storm that rolled in right after I got to Hooters.

maybe stormy

All that storm really did was dump rain. It cooled things off, though, so that was nice.

While I was at Hooters, I had a couple glasses of Newcastle (9808) while I talked with Jeff. Then I went to Sluttopia to meet up with some old guy who was going to loan me a guitar, but he was a no-show. Damn old people. They can't be trusted for shit.

And that was it. Now I'm back home, wondering what happened to my weekend.

Friday, June 20, 2008
posted by dave at 4:51 PM in category daily, drink

Please sit down before reading this.

I'll wait.

Okay.

Today, get this, I actually left my house on a day off work!

I know, unbelievable. But true nevertheless.

After spending the first half of the day thinking up creative ways to kill myself*, I suddenly found myself energized this afternoon. This was a good thing, because I had important and pressing shit I needed to do:

1. Buy a toilet thingy, because my old thingy broke.

2. Buy some water-softener salt.

3. See what new DVDs were at Wal-mart.

So I did the first thing, then I skipped the second thing and went to Wal-mart. While I was buying some new movies, and contemplating going back home to preheat my head at about 400 degrees*, my phone rang.

HatGirl!

Yay!

So instead of offing myself*, I ended up going to Louisville to have lunch with HatGirl. It was, of course, very nice. though this is now twice in less than a week that I've had lunch with HatGirl. I may be becoming spoiled. I may just start showing up at her house to demand, "What are we eating?"

Anyway, I didn't eat anything today. I had a Breckenridge Porter (146) though. It was good. And the company was so good that I didn't need to eat.

And AlliGirl got to meet HatGirl, and vice-versa.

Then we went upstairs to check out some bar prospects for HatGirl's bachelorette party. Because AlliGirl might be able to get HatGirl and her friends in for free.

HatGirl begged and cried*, but I had to put my foot down and tell her that I wasn't available to be the stripper at her party.

Then I went and took care of item number two from above, then I came home.

Fun!

* - Not really.

Thursday, June 19, 2008
posted by dave at 4:18 PM in category daily

So I'm off work tomorrow, for at least the first half of the day, so I've got to decide what to do tonight.

I could go to Rich O's for a while, or I could stay home and work on some performance appraisal stuff for work.

Let's see, I'll flip a coin.

Heads I'll go to Rich O's, and tails I won't stay home and do performance appraisal stuff.

Here goes...

flip flip flip flip flip catch reveal

It's heads!

Looks like I'm going to Rich O's tonight.

Sunday, June 15, 2008
posted by dave at 9:33 PM in category daily

I don't know if this is going to be one entry or two or three. I'm not sure that it really matters what it's going to be, but it seems like it should matter. So I can pace myself properly, or something like that.

'Cause there were three Saturdays. And if I seem to skimp on any of them, somebody somewhere is going to think I'm a dick.

Well, I'm not a dick, just so you know. I only portray one from time to time. If I seem to skimp, it's only because my priorities are what they are.

Actually, maybe there were four Saturdays, but I'm not going to count the first one because it was just me sitting at home, glaring at the clock on my computer, waiting for the time when I could go see HatGirl.

---

I ended up leaving home an hour early. I was just too excited. So to kill some of that extra time, I went to this computer store, right next to Famous Dave's, and I bought some cooling fans for my computer.

So, that was pretty exciting.

Then I went into Famous Dave's and grabbed a table. I drank Diet Coke and I watched a boring soccer game (redundant, I know) and a couple of text messages from HatGirl came in.

HatGirl!

Yay!

She was going to be late.

Boo!

This was weird, because I'm pretty sure it was the first time in the history of the universe that any woman has ever been late for anything.

But she did eventually show up, and we got to have lunch and go shopping. It was a really nice time, and HatGirl is pretty and charming, even when she's as clearly stressed-out as she was. I could see it in her face, in her body language, and hear it in her voice. Poor HatGirl!

When I'm in charge of the universe, I will have a rule that HatGirl will feel no stress.

Next, I went to my sister Dina's house for her husband's birthday party. I think he's 308 now. Something like that. I don't ever seem to quite fit in with those huge crowds at Dina's. So I pretty much kept to myself. I talked to SpoonsGirl for a bit. I talked to BadPickleGirl for a bit. I talked to various other people, always for just a bit.

Oh, and I petted Dina's kitties. Two of them, anyway. The other one is scared of me.

So then, because I had to work at 6:00 this morning, I left Dina's at 6:30 or so and came home to try to take a nap.

That didn't work for shit. It was weird - I was completely exhausted until about two seconds after I laid down on my couch. After that, I was wide awake.

And now I think I'm going to split this into at least two entries.

posted by dave at 12:52 AM in category daily

This will get me into trouble.

The things I do write for you people.

Anyway.

I remember when I couldn't take a fucking piss without hitting a Mexican.

But tonight, when I really needed them, were they around?

Fuck, no.

Not a single Mexican to be seen.

Anywhere.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008
posted by dave at 12:28 AM in category daily

I don't care what weather.gov says, it's cold tonight. Too cold to comfortably enjoy sitting on my swing with this Marzen (3779), that's for sure.

Maybe it would have been better if I'd put some more clothes on, but it's June. I will not get all layered-up in June in Southern Indiana.

But the cold isn't why I came back in to the house. Nope, I came back into the house because there are fucking stobor outside.

The first one, I thought maybe it was a cat. It was way too dark to see anything more than an indistinct blob of darkness of indeterminate size. Like the last time, I asked the hopeful, "Kitty kitty?" But, like the last time, it wasn't no kitty. It was clearly a stobor which ran into my garage and started tearing into the crap piled therein.

I sat and listened to it, trying to gauge its size from the racket it was making. I was estimating somewhere between a racoon and a Tyrannosaurus Rex, when I heard another stobor. Out in the front yard, as near as I could tell.

Imagine that you take an animal that almost never makes a sound. A rabbit perhaps, or maybe an opposum. Now, imagine doing something horrible to that animal. Step on it. Skin it alive. Fuck it up the ass. Something painful enough to cause that normally quiet animal to make the most terrible sound in the universe.

That's what that second stobor sounded like.

But seriously, if you really thought about fucking that poor animal up the ass, then please seek professional help. Because that's just sick.

Anyway, it must have been a mating call or a challenge or something, because the stobor in my garage answered almost immediately with that same awful wailing sound. And then I saw it, or rather its accompanying blob of darkness of indeterminite size, exit my garage and zoom into my front yard.

You know what's worse than the most terrible sound in the universe? Well, I'll tell you. It's two sources of that sound, joined together in an unholy harmony.

And that's the next sound that invaded my ears, as the two stobor began to mate or fight with each other.

Whatever it was they were doing, I didn't care. I took that opportunity to retreat into my house.

I'm actually shaking now.

Friday, June 6, 2008
posted by dave at 1:33 AM in category daily, drink

So the other day I was asked to provide an example of my weirdness. I provided an example at that time, and I wrote about it here.

And now, at great risk to my already fragile reputation, I will now give another example of my weirdness.

This was Wednesday night. I got this really stupid fantasy in my head. I was sitting out on my swing, enjoying a lovely Marzen (3579), and I thought that my phone might ring. Never mind that it was very late at night - it was my really stupid fantasy, and so the time was pretty much irrelevant.

Anyway, my phone never rang. So I got more and more antsy about it, and I did something stupid.

I sent an email.

Surely, I thought, Surely now my phone will ring to either indicate an incoming email or a text message or a phone call.

But alas, my phone sat silent beside me on my swing. Mocking me with its silence. My phone is so mean sometimes.

Then, at about 2:30 in the morning, I began to feel tired. I needed to go into my house and get some sleep, but I still had that really stupid fantasy in my head. And in that really stupid fantasy, see, I was outside when my phone rang. So, I figured, if I went inside my house, I'd be giving up on my really stupid fantasy.

Well, I didn't want to give up on the thing. It was a nice really stupid fantasy. I didn't want to go into my house and go to bed and give up on it.

So, brilliant tactician that I am, I went and got my tent and my sleeping bag and my pillow. I set up camp in my backyard, and I slept out there.

Weird, right?

But I never gave up on my really stupid fantasy. Because I'm all stubborn and shit.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008
posted by dave at 12:42 AM in category daily

I suppose I'm not exactly feeling my best right now.

Physically, I'm still weak from this stupid sinus infection. Mentally, I'm feeling just a little bit lost. Like I'm not sure what to do for the next several days.

It's not that I won't be able to find some way to pass the time, perhaps even enjoy the time, but I don't think I'll really be able to look forward to anything. So even simple planning seems like a waste of effort.

I suppose I could just hole-up here at home. Shoot some pool, watch some movies. Things like that used to be enough for me, but that was a long time ago. Another life ago.

---

Oh yeah, I had a big-ass fucking tree limb fall this morning. This one grazed the side of my detached garage, and may have damaged my fence. The big problem with this limb is that it's still partly attached to the tree - about 30 feet up. So I don't know what I'm going to do. I already tried closing my eyes and counting to ten, but the damn thing was still there when I looked again.

Stupid non-imaginary limb.

I'll take some pictures of it tomorrow, if I remember, and it's not raining.

If I can get the limb on the ground, then I can cut it up or maybe just drag it into the woods. I think I'll try to attach a rope to it, then pull it free with my truck. It might work.

---

I was wondering about something today. Wondering if something cool might happen. Well, it didn't happen, but that's okay. It was a long shot.

It would have been really cool, though.

Monday, May 26, 2008
posted by dave at 11:50 PM in category daily, drink

I think today was kinda boring. It must have been because I can't remember any of it.

Hold on a second while I scour my brain...

Okay, found some things.

First, my guilt-induced insomnia really played havoc with me Sunday night and into Monday morning. I bet I got three whopping hours of sleep. So that sucked.

Then some crap exciting and challenging activities I was doing for work finally finished, so I was able to stop checking my computer every 10 minutes. So that was cool.

All day long I was starving, yet totally unmotivated to get dressed and leave my house. I just saw no point in it. I see no point in much these days. At about 5:00, however, I noticed that I was almost out of Diet Coke, so I showered, grudgingly put on some clothes, and exited the premises. Because there's no way I'd be able to get up in the morning without my caffeine.

I drove my Monte Carlo (the day's predicted tornado stampede never materialized) to Red Lobster for dinner. My phone rang when I was on the way. It was StupidGirl! Yay! She's so nice. She wanted to wish me a happy Memorial Day because I'm a veteran. Of course, I'm not a dead veteran, but it was the thought that counted.

At Red Lobster, I had my usual yummy food. So that was cool. And I texted OddlyFamiliarGirl in case she was working, but I guess she wasn't.

Then I went to Hooters and had a couple glasses of Newcastle (9618). I traded a few million emails with RockGirl. Then I came home.

I've been watching a bunch of tivoed episodes of The Alaska Experiment.

Now I want to move back to Alaska. I liked it there, except for it being a nonstop statewide sausage festival. It was pretty, except for all the sausages.

Sunday, May 25, 2008
posted by dave at 8:38 PM in category daily, drink

Okay, so after my last entry, I remembered that I was bored, so I left my house.

I went to Polly's Freeze for dinner. Some dipshits had my table, but I got over it.

When I was waiting for my food, there was this old woman standing nearby, also waiting for her food. She kinda looked like the mother of a childhood friend of mine, except much older.

"Excuse me Ma'am, are you Brian's great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, by any chance?" I asked.

"I'm his mother," she conceded.

So I told her who I was, and that it was good to see her. I'm pretty sure that she even remembered me. Weird how she's managed to age a quarter-century since I last saw her, a quarter-century ago. I'm sure it's my fault somehow.

But seriously, it was cool to see her. I always worry about people dying. I'm glad she didn't.

Interestingly enough, her son Brian was the model for one of my youngest sister's imaginary childhood friends. For about six months after this one day when Brian came down to our house to play, my sister Neisha was always, "Brian this," and "Brian that." it was quite cute, actually. Her other imaginary friend was named Rakis and I always figured that she'd heard the word rapist on TV or something.

After I left Polly's, I went down to Sluttopia for a Newcastle (9578). I might have stayed for another one but this one drunk kept mumbling to me about the race that was on TV. He kept saying, "Aaarg yuuurg blarr farrrrrrrr uttttt," which I think translates as, "Look at them make all those fucking left turns."

I soon realized that I was just as bored at Sluttopia as I'd be at my house. I also realized that there weren't any mumbling drunk NASCAR fans at my house. So I came home.

posted by dave at 5:17 PM in category daily

My fun day started at about 7:00 in the morning, when I woke up and remembered that everything is my fault. After that, I couldn't get back to sleep, because of all the guilt, so I just stayed up and shot some pool for a while.

Then, I went to NotHideousGirl's house to help move some of her shit into storage. We'd agreed to meet at 1:00, and NotHideousGirl was considerate enough to call me at 12:59, when I was about 30 seconds from her house, to tell me that the time would be 3:00 instead of 1:00.

I ended up waiting on her porch for an hour or so, listening to the neighbors having a full blown white-trash throw-down. I suspected that one of them was going to murder the other, then murder me for being a witness. So I shot off a couple of quick emails, to RockGirl and LaptopGirl. You know, to say a proper goodbye and stuff.

But I guess the neighbors must have ended up killing each other, as the racket suddenly stopped after about an hour, and I'm still alive, so whew! My lucky day.

Then we loaded my truck up and took NotHideousGirl's stuff to storage, five or six times. It's not quite as bad as it sounds, though, because my truck has the carrying capacity of a gnat's rectum. Plus, MusicalYuppieDude was there to help, and TremensGirl and UPSDude showed up as well. The whole thing only took a couple of hours.

Now I'm back home trying to decide what to do with the rest of my Sunday. It'll be pretty hard to top what's already happened, so I may just stay home. Quit while I'm ahead and all that.

posted by dave at 12:48 AM in category daily, ramblings

I think that, to carry a metaphor way too far, I think that the arches of my feet are simply getting too sore to bear.

All this fucking tiptoeing around. Like I'm all sneaky and shit.

New flash: I'm not sneaky. Everyone sees me. Everyone knows what I'm doing. Everyone is laughing at my fumbling attempts to pretend that things are normal. That I'm normal.

I'm just getting sick and tired of it. My tiptoeing is not fooling anyone, and so it serves no purpose except to spotlight a failed attempt at deception.

I hate doing this, I did it, for a long time, because I thought it was necessary. The right thing to do. And maybe it was the right thing to do, for a while. But that time has passed.

A lie of omission is still a lie.

---

Also, because I don't want to forget this, and also because I thought it was funny, I had myself a gay cheeseburger tonight.

What's that you say? You didn't know there was such a thing as a gay cheesburger?

Well, I didn't know it either, but I was wrong. As were you.

So I went to Wendy's and, as usual, I ordered the #2 meal plain with a Diet Coke. Then I stepped aside to wait for my order to be prepared.

I guess the burger guy was a trainee or something, because the manager chick had to explain to him what "plain" meant. She said that it should have just cheese on it. He didn't understand, so she said it more clearly. "A plain cheeseburger should have meat, cheese, bread, and nothing else on it," she said.

"Well that's gay," the burger guy replied.

For the record, my gay cheeseburger was very good.

It was weird, though. I had the strangest urge to go dancing after I'd eaten it.

Sunday, May 18, 2008
posted by dave at 12:37 AM in category daily

Not cool, dude.

Not fucking cool at all.

Saturday, May 17, 2008
posted by dave at 1:02 AM in category daily, drink

Thursday was okay. I went to Rich O's, because I was taking Friday off. All the regular Thursday weirdoes were there encamped in the living room, plus there was an art show, so there were art show weirdoes scampering about as well. I ended up having two pints of NABC Cone Smoker (3833) while I talked with OddlyFamiliarGirl. She distracted me from all the weirdoes, so that was cool.

Then today I developed this overwhelming feeling that something terrible is either happening or about to happen. Even now, several hours later, I can't shake this feeling. I remind myself that I'm not psychic, and that helps a little, but there's still a very strong urge to go hole-up in my basement for a couple of years.

Tonight was my niece's 21st birthday party thingy. We started out at Hard Rock, and then AlliGirl did a fantastic job of hooking everyone up at Rock Bar. They got full V.I.P. treatment, and my niece totally deserved it.

Also, AlliGirl totally disappeared at around 11:00.

Weird.

Oh yeah, I had a Newcastle (9516) in a plastic cup from the Pub.

Thursday, May 15, 2008
posted by dave at 2:21 AM in category daily

It was a good day.

A little weird and surreal, but still good.

And now I've got insomnia for some reason.

Sunday, May 11, 2008
posted by dave at 3:17 PM in category daily, drink, pictures

You don't have to tell me that it's kinda silly for me to be here now. And by here I mean the red room at Rich O's, and by now I mean 3:30 on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. You don't have to tell me, because I sort of already know it. But what I also know is that I've got a damn good reason for being here. Now.

I'm supposed to meet LaptopGirl here at 5:00, to tell her something which she already knows. Not that one thing which she already knows, silly. Another thing. I need to tell her that her computer is probably on its last legs.

Anyway, I got bored at home and I didn't want to start anything new at 3:00, so I came down here instead. And now I'm sitting and writing and enjoying a Barley Island Dirty Helen (262). But mostly, I'm waiting. I do that a lot, it seems.

So this morning, after I took care of some bullshit exciting challenges for work, I took my Monte Carlo to get its oil changed. That wasn't particularly interesting except that this one dude kept bugging me to sell my car to him. Not gonna happen, OilChangeDude, so back the fuck off.

After that, I drove around for a while. I checked out the new NABC brewery location. Not much to see except for this one temporary banner thingy. I took a picture:

NABC Banner Thingy

Then I went down to the other side of the floodwall and looked at the river for a while. That place used to seem so isolated when I was a teenager. Now it's some kind of stupid park. They've got fucking bandstands and bleachers and shit. Plus, it's closed at night. Much slaking used to take place there at night. I wonder where people go now, when they want to slake.

Then I went to Polly's Freeze for lunch. And I got to sit at my favorite table, so that was cool.

Next I drove to Lanesville. I'd decided that I was apparently retracing my childhood in reverse-order. I mean with the floodwall and Polly's. With the oil-change place and the brewery, not so much. So I went to this park in Lanesville where I used to play until I was six and we moved away. It used to be a pretty shitty (hey, poet and don't know it) park. And I suppose it's still shitty. But they keep adding new buildings to the place. They're all locked, though. Maybe that's where they keep all the cool stuff.

bane of my youth

I took pictures of this slide. I can't believe it's still here after all these years. I'd have thought it would have rusted into a heap by now. This slide was always scary as fuck to me, when I'd climb up those shaky chains and then pull and contort myself between the bars to the platform. It was worth it, though, because the sliding-down part was really cool.

the fun part

Next I drove to my old house there in Lanesville. I keep hoping to see somebody in the yard, but I never have, and today was no different.

Next I went home for a bit, but I got bored and came here to Rich O's.

Oh yeah, now I'm having my second Dirty Helen (282) and it's yummy.

So there.

Thursday, May 8, 2008
posted by dave at 12:03 AM in category daily, drink, travel

First, I do want to. And I think it's time. But I can't. I was asked to never do it, remember?

---

Monday I finally had the water pump replaced in the Monte Carlo. So now I can actually drive it again. This is beyond cool to me. I even drove it to work today, risking door-dings in the parking garage. Once I get the exhaust repaired (it's a little LOUD) then there'll be nothing wrong with the car except that its owner still won't really be cool enough for it.

---

One of these years I should probably fix the gutter that was torn loose in January.

---

I think I want to go back to Covington this weekend. I seriously doubt that I'll do any such thing, because last time I checked, Covington wasn't located inside Rich O's.

---

On Monday I got to hang out with NormalGirl and RahRahGirl for a while after work. They were dressed to the nines (whatever that means) in sexy slinky black dresses. I don't think I did a very good job of averting my gaze, especially regarding NormalGirl.

---

I've felt myself starting to lose faith in one of my friends. Not that I ever really had any reason to think that I could trust him completely. But lately I've become a little convinced that he'd betray me in a heartbeat. So, I'm getting a little preemptively angry at him. I'm being stupid, I know.

---

Oh yeah, I managed to poke myself in the eye or something last night while I was sleeping. It's been hurting me all day, and it's a lovely shade of red. I hope it doesn't rot and fall out, but if it does then I'm going to get a glass eye that's brown. That way I can walk around with two differently-colored eyes and see if anyone notices.

---

It's midnight and I still have 3/4 of this Marzen (3591) left in my glass. I'd better get to drinking it.

---

I still have better topics that I want to write about. I still can't motivate myself to write, though, so crap like this is all you get for now.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008
posted by dave at 12:13 AM in category daily

I'm in a weird mood.

Normally this type of mood would mean that I was about to start spouting drivel, but tonight I don't think it's going to happen.

See, I'm not allowed to write about feeling sad, which I'm not, because then people go, WTF happened this time? And I'm certainly not allowed to write about being happy, which I am, because then people go, OMG Dave is off his rocker again!

I could write about generic and/or hilarious things, like tonight's Indiana (preliminary) election results, but my heart's really not in it.

So I think I'll just go to bed. And maybe I'll dream something good that I won't be able to write about.

Sunday, May 4, 2008
posted by dave at 11:51 PM in category daily

I have about a million things I want to write about today. But I think I'm just going to start with the one that's a happy thing.

I had a good day today.

First, it was beautiful outside. A little chilly, but that only matters when I'm outside, and I didn't go outside until it had warmed up to a semi-respectable 60 degrees.

Anyway, my day started, predictably enough, checking email and MySpace and Facebook, looking for some clue as to what the fuck happened Saturday night. Well I found no clues, and I started to get a little sad. But then, then I got the nicest distraction ever when HatGirl called me.

HatGirl!

Yay!

I talked to HatGirl for what seemed like a million years of bliss and, by the time our conversation was over, I was no longer in any danger of being sad. At least not for today.

Guess what I did next!

Guess!

Damn, you guys suck at guessing. Fine I'll just tell you. You'd better sit down.

I replaced the window switch in my Monte Carlo!

Yay!

This is the first time in 23,000 years that the windows in my Monte Carlo have actually been controllable from the driver's door. And, it also the first time in 22,000 years that the door panel has been on said door.

Yay!

Oh yeah, after I went to the parts store to buy a switch, but before I went back home, I went to Polly's Freeze for lunch. All of the food was yummy as always. It kinda sucked that some asshole had my favorite table, though. I guess they haven't gotten around to chiseling Reserved for Dave on the table's concrete surface yet.

After I'd returned home, and replaced the window switch (yay!) I realized a couple of things. Thing the first was that it was a really nice day, weather-wise. Thing the second was that I didn't want to go back into my house on such a nice day.

So, I didn't.

I sat in my garage for several hours, totally kicked-back on my el-cheapo white plastic furniture, and I listened to the radio and I drank a couple of yummy beers and I glared at my phone and I thought about someone something wonderful and I smiled and I laughed.

It was a perfect day.

Then the Sun went down, and the temperature dropped 50,000 degrees, and I came back into my stupid house and watched stupid TV.

posted by dave at 12:54 AM in category daily

Today, I might have killed a horse. Or at least helped to kill the poor thing.

I went to my friend Eric's Derby party. I hadn't been planning to make any bets beyond the pseudo-bet of paying $5 and drawing a horse out of an envelope. I got Anak Kara or something like that. I think it's still running.

But then LaptopGirl and I made an arrangement. I would bet her favorite horses and then split any winnings with her.

This betting frenzy, apparently, spurred BadPickleGirl's interest, and so she ended up placing her own bet.

She bet the filly. The only filly in the thing. The filly that came in second. The filly that, immediately after the race, broke both its front ankles, collapsed on the track, and was euthanized.

That filly.

Anyway, while I mostly rooted for LaptopGirl's (and therefore my) horses, I also found myself silently rooting for BadPickleGirl's horse.

Maybe, I think, if I hadn't rooted for the filly, maybe it wouldn't have run so hard. And then, maybe, it wouldn't have broken its ankles and had to be put down.

I'm not saying its all my fault. That would be silly. But I bet it's at least partly my fault.

Also, there seems to be a pattern lately of horses breaking their legs while running. Maybe it's a conspiracy. Somebody should look into this.

I'd look into it myself, but I'm too busy right now trying to figure out why I just wasted 120 minutes of my life.

Saturday, May 3, 2008
posted by dave at 11:33 AM in category daily

I still need to put in a Thursday and Friday beer report. I haven't forgotten.

But now I've got to start getting ready to go to my friend Eric's derby party. I may be accompanied, I may not be accompanied. I may have a second party to go to later, and I may not.

I have a feeling that, by the end of the day, I'll know what it feels like to juggle cats while having a nervous breakdown.

Saturday, April 26, 2008
posted by dave at 10:56 AM in category daily, drink

First, I need to get Wednesday out of the way. Besides it being AlliDay, which is always nice, I went to Rich O's after work to see BadPickleGirl for the first time since right after my Nephew was killed. I had booze for her and that was enough to lure her to see me. So we talked and split a pizza. I had two NABC Cone Smokers (3357) and then she followed me so I could drop my truck off to get its alignment fixed.

One weird thing was that, while I was filling out the little card so I could drop my key in the slot, a little black car pulled into the parking lot. I thought to myself, That looks kinda like Dina's car.

As it turned out, it was exactly like Dina's car, because it was Dina's car. She'd seen my truck and pulled in to say hello. So that was cool.

The next day I don't think anything remotely interesting happened except that I got my truck back.

By Friday night, I'd decided that I wasn't going to go to Rich O's. So of course I went to Rich O's. This has become a very annoying pattern for me. I decide that I'm not going, that I'm going to go someplace different, but then I go because I'm afraid of missing you know who anyone anything. Then, I get in there, and too often lately I find that I'm miserable because of the weirdoes and the fucking loud music and the increasingly belligerent political discussions. But I stay and I watch the door for hours and, more often than not, I leave disappointed. And I vow that, next time, I'll do something different.

But last night was pretty decent. For one thing, it wasn't very crowded at all. Certainly not like a usual Friday night. It was mostly regulars, and we mostly just sat around and babbled about random things.

I'd started out at the kiddie table, where I had two glasses of yummy Delirium Tremens (1209), then when TallLady left I moved to the throne. Most of the night the living room area held myself, MusicalYuppieDude, PlantDude, and PillowDude. At one point PearlGirl came in. She had apparently time-traveled back to the 1960s to buy a dress before coming to Rich O's.

My next beer was a Paulaner Hefeweissbier (484). Then I switched to Diet Coke for a while. I was considering going over to Louisville. AlliGirl had invited me to come see some band I never heard of. I asked MusicalYuppieDude about the band, and he said they're supposed to be pretty good. Plus it would have been nice to see AlliGirl again.

But then LaptopGirl came in and I forgot about wanting to leave. I forget about a lot of things when LaptopGirl is in the room.

I most certainly will not apologize for that.

I babbled a lot. I blame the Tremens I'd had earlier. Plus, she kept asking me questions that seemed to necessitate babbling answers.

Oh yeah, we ended up splitting a glass of Browning's Bourbon Imperial Stout. I already knew that it was yummy, but I think this was LaptopGirl's first time to have it. She said she liked it too.

Once LaptopGirl went home, I briefly thought about heading over to see AlliGirl and the band after all, but in the end I just came home and sat on my swing and did some navel gazing.

Sunday, April 20, 2008
posted by dave at 10:33 AM in category daily, pictures

Google comes in really handy

Okay, at the top of the picture is the exit ramp from I-265 to Grant Line Road in New Albany. It's a one-lane ramp, but people are in the habit of driving on the right shoulder if they're going to turn right. The people who are going straight or turning left usually get backed up at the stoplight when traffic is heavy, so people use the shoulder to get around those assholes.

I do this myself all the time, usually when I'm going to Rich O's after work. I was doing it last night on the way to Rich O's after Tumbleweed.

So I looked in my rearview mirror and there were two trucks behind me, at about where the 1 is on the picture. There was a newer truck directly behind me, and a shitty truck passing the newer truck on the shoulder.

Problem was, the dillhole in the newer truck was also moving onto the shoulder.

I don't think he actually hit the shitty truck, but he at least nearly ran him off into the ditch. Then both trucks swerved back onto the pavement. Then both trucks swerved in the other direction. Like ShittyTruckDude had decided to repay the favor, and was trying to run the DillHoleDude off the road.

I watched all this in my rearview mirror, then I turned right at the intersection. Both of the other trucks turned right as well. I guess they were about 50 yards behind me, at about where the 2 is, when they both stopped their trucks right in the middle of the road. ShittyTruckDude opened his door and, I'm assuming, loudly told DillHoleDude to have a nice day or something.

By the time I got to the intersection at the bottom of the picture, Both trucks had started moving again. DillHoleDude pulled into the gas station at where the 3 is. I was stuck at a red light, so I turned my head to watch. ShittyTruckDude went by me, turning right at the intersection, then he turned right again into the gas station parking lot.

This was getting good!

By this time, I could see that ShittyTruckDude had a business placard on the door of his truck. Larry's something or other. So I'll call him Larry from now on.

Larry parked his truck directly behind the dillhole, blocking him in. Then they both got out of their trucks and started yelling at each other. It only took a second for them to come to blows. I really couldn't tell who threw the first punch, and I couldn't tell how the fight ended because my light turned green and I had to start moving lest I cause my own road rage incident.

I'm sure that somebody called the cops. They were in an extremely public place.

Also, readers may have been wondering whether that's the haunted Burger King at the bottom of the picture.

Indeed it is.

posted by dave at 9:58 AM in category daily, drink

Remember back when the supercontinent Pangea split, and the flora and fauna of Africa and South America were left to develop and evolve independently?

Well, That's about the same time that my sister Neisha last came into Rich O's. Until last night.

I'd been told, earlier in the week, that both of my sisters were coming to Rich O's, but I very nearly forgot. I guess it was just so unlikely that my brain refused to waste valuable memory space with it. So, I nearly forgot and took off for Nashville Saturday morning.

I'd been thinking about going to Nashville because it's fairly close and I wanted to get away from Rich O's for a night. LaptopGirl had said she wasn't going to be there Saturday night, so it seemed like a perfect opportunity.

But I was late for my truck appointment, so I didn't get its alignment fixed. And then on the way home I remembered about my sisters.

What I ended up doing was talking them to Tumbleweed. This was the first time I'd been in there in a very long time. It will probably be a very long time before I go back. The food just wasn't that good.

After that we went to Rich O's. My sisters got to put several names and nicknames with faces. It was fun. I had an NABC Cone Smoker (3517) and tried to decide what I was going to do after my sisters left. I didn't see any point in staying at Rich O's if LaptopGirl wasn't going to show up.

But what happened was, MusicalYuppieDude and I split a bottle of yummy Malheur 10 (65), and it was so damn yummy that we split another bottle (78). By the time that second bottle was gone, I needed to stick around for a while to sober up. So I had some Diet Cokes and talked with various people about various crap.

Then LaptopGirl emailed me to ask about what she was missing. I asked her to please come. And so that's what she did. Yay!

We sat on the sofa and talked about how she made the front page of a local alternative newspaper. So now she's all famous and shit. I hope it doesn't go to her head.

We split a Guinness, and then she ended up pouring most of her half into my glass (1851).

After LaptopGirtl left, I came home.

Oh yeah! There was a fight when I was on my way to Rich O's!

Let me see if I remember clearly. Just in case I'm ever called as a witness or something. I'll put that in another entry, because I want to have a picture.

Saturday, April 19, 2008
posted by dave at 2:02 PM in category daily, drink, weather

I know, I suck. You don't have to remind me. I need to update this thing more often. Even if I only have boring things to write about, I still need to do it.

Thursday was another virtual Friday for me, so I went to Rich O's for some stupid reason. The fucking Thursday weirdoes were there, of course, and they made my life miserable with their existence, of course.

I sat at the kiddie table and had three yummy glasses of Delirium Tremens (1187) and they were yummy. I didn't really talk to anyone except WomanRepellant, and even that was just for a while.

I got really really bored and left once I'd realized that nobody interesting was going to show up. Also, now there are three of the Thursday weirdoes wearing those stupid hats. Before, it had been just the one uberweirdo. But now there are three of them doing it.

So then Friday morning we had us some earthquakes.

When the first one hit, all three of my cats jumped off the bed and hauled ass down the hallway. I woke up and wondered for a second if my cats were really fat enough to cause the house to shake like that. When my mind cleared a little, I thought that a tornado must be barreling toward my house. But when I turned my head and looked out my window, I saw stars in the sky. That's when I figured that it was either an earthquake or a plane crash or something.

The thing about earthquakes is that you don't know how long they're going to last or how strong they're going to get. So I put on some pants in case I had to run outside.

The other thing about earthquakes is that you don't know anything. I mean, it could have been a .01 earthquake right under my house, or it could have been an 11.5 earthquake in St. Louis. I didn't know, and I wanted to know, so once the shaking had stopped I went and checked the USGS site. I was very impressed that they already had information about the quake - it had only been a couple of minutes.

The second earthquake that I felt was at 11:15 or so. I was in my kitchen, and all of my bottles started rattling together, or I might not have even noticed it.

Anyway.

Friday afternoon was fun. I went to Polly's Freeze for lunch. There were 18 million high school kids there, but they arrived right after I did, so I didn't have to wait for my order. So, haha stupid high school kids. Then I got an email from LaptopGirl. Then I went and had the oil changed in my truck, then I bought new tires for my truck. The old tires were 9 years old, so I got my money's worth.

Friday night I got a couple of text messages from TremensGirl. She seemed to want me to be at Rich O's, for some reason. But of course by the time I finally arrived there were people more interesting than me there. Hard to believe, I know. But that's okay, I have enough to worry about, and I'm sure it's all my fault anyway.

I sat at the island and watched the door all night. The place was pretty packed, mostly I think because some dude nobody ever heard of was playing music in the special people section, and so anyone who didn't feel like paying the cover charge had to use whatever space they could find and/or manufacture in the remainder of Rich O's.

So I sat at the island and I had a couple pints of NABC Cone Smoker (3497) and then after LaptopGirl arrived (yay!) we split a Smithwick's (1688) and talked mostly about babies and murder-mystery stuff. I had a brilliant idea for a Rich O's murder-mystery. Maybe someday it will actually happen, but I'll have to write it myself because LaptopGirl doesn't like my idea.

Then when I came home I sat in my garage and had a bottle of Schlenkerla Marzen (3431). It had been raining earlier, or I'd have sat on my swing.

Then today I was supposed to have the wheels realigned on my truck, but I got there too late. Oh well.

Okay, I'm all caught up with this blog thingy now.

Friday, April 18, 2008
posted by dave at 11:15 AM in category daily

Another fucking earthquake!

enough already

EVERYBODY PANIC!

This is starting to remind me of my days in Alaska. We'd have two or three of these things a week. I once heard a little kid tell his sister that, "The ground was shivering."

You know, because it was Alaska, and it was cold. I thought it was cute.

Hmmm, this looks to be the fifth one this morning, though only two have been strong enough for me to feel.

Maybe, if this keeps up, I'll get to fullfil my dream of owning beachfront property.

posted by dave at 5:39 AM in category daily

Did anyone else feel that?

It certainly woke my ass up.

shaken not stirred

Clicking the image takes you to the USGS page.

Saturday, April 5, 2008
posted by dave at 6:03 PM in category daily, drink

It's been a fun day so far.

First, I woke up at 5:30 in the flipping morning. Now, on a lot of Saturdays, I'll just go ahead and get out of bed at times like that. Because I know that I'll be able to take a nap later. But today, today I knew that I'd be spending a good chunk of the afternoon with HatGirl, so I forced myself to go back to sleep.

I almost overslept and missed my lunch date altogether.

But, I did manage to wake up with enough time to spare. I even arrived early to The Olive Garden. HatGirl, of course, was late. But at least she'd texted me that she would be late.

Lunch was good. I don't think I've been to Olive Garden since MixedSignalGirl and I were together, and I'd definitely never been to this particular one. I ate about half my ravioli and got stuffed. I'm still stuffed even though it's been almost five hours.

After lunch, we went booze shopping. I managed to get everything on my list except for this one wine that MrPopular had requested. Apparently you can't get that particular wine in this country.

But everything else, I got. Even the supposedly hard-to-find wines that LaptopGirl had requested.

It was fun. Food was good. Shopping was fun. HatGirl is charming company. She had this hole in the thigh of her jeans. I used my psychic powers to try to widen the hole, but by then she'd become self-conscious and was covering the hole with her hand.

Speaking of LaptopGirl, on the way to Rich O's to deliver booze to MusicalYuppieDude and MrPopular, I spied LaptopGirl and her son out in front of her house. I stopped and asked if she wanted her wine then and there. She said she'd get it later. A part of me is now wondering if she is now desperately making plans to move, now that it's obvious that I know where she lives.

I stopped at Rich O's and, surprise, both MusicalYuppieDude and MrPopular were there. So I gave the former his booze, and the latter his wine. Then I sat at the island and screwed up:

Paulaner Salvatore

(draft) I ordered this by mistake, as I'd thought I was ordering their hefeweissbier. I could not have been more wrong. I did have a few sips of this, to see if it was as disgusting as all dopplebocks are to me. It was. I only had those few sips.
To wash that disgusting taste out of my mouth, I ordered an NABC Cone Smoker (3357). It was yummy.

I also waved at ArtGirl, who was busy doing something artsy in the red room, and then TremensGirl once again graced the state of Indiana with her presence. So I talked to her for a bit before I came home and wrote this entry.

Sunday, March 16, 2008
posted by dave at 11:53 PM in category daily

I had this brilliant idea today. I was going to do something and make someone smile. Not just anyone, mind you, but one certain person.

I drove around and looked around and asked around for what seemed like years, and I couldn't find what I was looking for.

I don't know if, as the saying goes, it's really the thought that counts. I certainly don't know if, in this particular case, learning the tale of my valiant yet ultimately unsuccessful quest was enough to bring a smile to a certain face. But, I like to think that it might have done just that. Just maybe.

That would be cool, if I brought a smile to that face.

Friday, February 22, 2008
posted by dave at 7:46 PM in category daily

I just wanted to jump on here real quick and predict that tonight is going to be the worst night I've had in years.

I'd like to be wrong about this, of course.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
posted by dave at 11:15 PM in category daily

The following people forgot my birthday, and now I'm devastated, and I fucking better get a hug to make up for it:

HatGirl

The following people ignored my birthday, even after a reminder, and now I'm devastated, and I fucking wish things were different between us:

LaptopGirl

Neither of these lists should be considered all-inclusive, except maybe the second list, because I don't think I reminded anyone else.

Monday, February 18, 2008
posted by dave at 6:41 PM in category daily, drink

This damn flu has taken things to a very personal level, now. Twice.

The first time was Friday night, when LaptopGirl invited me to Rich O's and I had to decline. Yes, that sucked giant donkey dicks. First time in a million asstillion years that LaptopGirl has invited me to Rich O's, and I had to decline. Woe is me, indeed.

The second time this fucking flu got personal was about an hour ago. I'd forced myself into going to Rich O's, because I'm a stubborn asshole and also because it's Pizza Night. I saw, to my great surprise, that NABC Cone Smoker was back on tap.

Yay! My first beer in a week was going to be one of my all-time favorites!

But not so fast there, Speedy. The Cone Smoker (3177) tasted like shit. Not because there was anything wrong with it, but instead because there's something wrong with me. This damn flu has wreaked havoc on my taste buds. And so now even one of my favorite beers is unenjoyable.

And then my pizza tasted like crap, but I was expecting it by that point. Everything has tasted like crap since last Tuesday. I keep feeling like there's some magical combination of herbs and spices that will wake my mouth back up, and make things taste good again, but I just haven't found it yet.

I've been given the green light to return to work tomorrow, at least for a while. I've been sleeping between 18 and 22 hours a day for a week, and so I don't know if I'll be able to stay up long enough to put in a full day of work, but I'll give it a shot.

Thursday, February 14, 2008
posted by dave at 10:02 AM in category daily

So, I'm sick again.

That's my excuse. It's weird. It's almost like there's something wrong with it being 70 degrees one day, and then being 9 degrees a few days later. It's like the human body doesn't like that or something. At least my human body doesn't like it.

My body is, apparently, all pussy.

I've begun to doubt that I will ever feel any better. This has been dragging on for 48 hours. Usually I feel better by this time, but today I actually feel worse than I did before. I was thinking about getting a ride to the hospital or something, but I fear that my sister would take one look at me and take me to the funeral home instead. Cut out the middleman and all that.

Anyway, that's what's been up with me. Happy Valentine's Day, if you're into that sort of thing.

Sunday, February 10, 2008
posted by dave at 7:17 AM in category daily

1. Get up at 6:00.
2. There is no step 2.

posted by dave at 12:44 AM in category daily, ramblings

Dedicated stalkers readers may recall that I was supposed to have a date tonight. ArtGirl and I were supposed to go to see some band at some place.

Well, that didn't happen. The band wasn't going to start until midnight, and that was way too late for me, since I have to work in the morning. Plus, I never could get ahold of ArtGirl.

---

Tonight, I went to Rich O's and I held my breath for three hours. Then, at about 10:00, I breathed sweet refreshing air for about ten seconds. Then, I held my breath again.

For what it's worth, I will not apologize for things I cannot change. I've already done enough of that, and it's never done anyone a bit of good.

---

So my mood held fairly steady at content for most of the night. Maybe, there at the end, it might have jumped up a notch. Maybe.

But there was a brief period earlier when, for about ten seconds, I was filled with joy. That struck me as patently unfair, that something so trivial could affect me that much. I mean, I'm getting way more than I'm giving. The same thing happened last night. I got to be deliriously happy, and the best anyone else got was to have to put up with me.

It just doesn't seem right. I've felt guilty about it, a lot, over the past twenty-four hours or so.

You know what it's like?

It's like I'm a closeted gay guy in a men's locker room. Or a pedophile working as a janitor at an elementary school.

I'm enjoying my life way too much, and nobody is the wiser. I feel like I'm taking advantage of things. Taking too much advantage.

I do not like it, and I do feel guilty about it. But I will not apologize for things I cannot change.

Friday, February 8, 2008
posted by dave at 12:08 AM in category daily

I just realized that she didn't even tell me the date of the wedding. I don't know if they've even set a date. Probably my birthday or something fucked-up like that.

It probably shouldn't matter. But dates are important to me, for some reason.

I want to know the date, so I can plan to be sad, and to have a legitimate reason for my sadness.

That will be pretty rare, I think.

I get to be sane, on that day.

Whenever it is.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008
posted by dave at 2:51 AM in category daily, dreams, weather

I feel all deep and contemplative tonight. Like I could really grab hold of something and make it important through thinking about it and writing about it. I'm not really sure what that something might be, but I'll be up for a while longer, so maybe it'll come to me.

---

I had the strangest dream earlier. It was all bits and flashes. I was married to some famous chick, and the dream was a bunch of snapshots of our life together. But it wasn't sequential at all. We'd be old and retired on a beach, and then we'd be young and just meeting for the first time. It was kinda like a documentary or something, but really weird. Like this one time I was in bed, and I opened my eyes to see this thing coming toward me. You know those inflatable boxing dudes that you punch and they keep standing back up? It was one of those things. It was coming towards me from the far end of the room, holding a shotgun. But then my wife came in and popped it with a knitting needle. That was nice of her.

In another, much later scene, we were at some fancy party, and my wife was crying because she was supposed to sing (I think that's why she was famous, for her singing) but some whore had just sang the exact song she was going to sing. So my wife was very upset and crying. She was so upset, in fact, that she dove into this trash barrel to vomit and hide. I ended up rolling her back to our suite (I think we were at The Rio in Las Vegas) and the police were there asking questions about the popped boxing dude.

---

ArtGirl and I are supposed to go see some band Saturday. I never heard of the band before - it's called Rufus Huff - but MusicalYuppieDude highly recommends them. I'm kind of excited about it. I haven't been to see a band for a song time. Plus, I like ArtGirl. It should be fun.

---

Tonight there were all kinds of storms around here. The tornado siren went off for about two hours straight. All I got was some hard rain, though. Enough to get some water in my basement. I hate it when that happens.

---

My sleep schedule is seriously hosed.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008
posted by dave at 2:10 AM in category daily, drink, pictures, ramblings

Sunday night, the pizzeria side of the NABC complex was open for some sporting event. Usually, they're closed on Sundays, so it was a special occasion, and I usually go. Just because it's such a rarity. I really couldn't care less about the sporting event.

Anyway, while I was on the way there, OddlyFamiliarGirl called. I'd texted her Friday night because I had a question about astrology. She's into that stuff, she's just not into returning text messages in a timely manner.

While I was talking, and driving, I happened to glance down at my odometer. I quickly said goodbye to OddlyFamiliarGirl and pulled off the road at the earliest opportunity.

The earliest opportunity, it turned out, wasn't quite early enough.

darn

That there, even though it's really hard to see, is the odometer on my truck showing 100001 miles. I think it would have been cool to get a picture of it at exactly 100000 miles, but it wasn't meant to be.

Here's a close-up. Still hard to see, though.

so close

Once at Sportstime The NABC Pizzeria, I had myself a couple pints of their Old Lightning Rod (490). The place was really dead. I guess nobody cared about the sporting event. Or maybe they were all at some cool party to which I wasn't invited.

So they closed the place down at 7:30 or so. I went over to Tucker's and had some cheesesticks and a glass of Guinness (1783). I'd been thinking about having a steak, but I changed my mind for some reason.

And that was Sunday. Pretty exciting, huh?

Monday wasn't anything special except that while I was at Rich O's The NABC Public House, waiting for my pizza and having a yummy NABC Old Lightning Rod (510), OddlyFamiliarGirl and NotHideousGirl came in for a bit. It had been a million jillion gazillion years since I'd seen OddlyFamiliarGirl. It had only been a couple of days since I'd last seen NotHideousGirl, but it always seems longer when it's her. I just thought I'd better mention seeing them, lest I get into trouble for some reason.

Then tonight it was really warm, so I sat out on my swing and enjoyed a Schlenkerla Urbock (286) and smiled a lot. I thought about all of the times I'd sat out there and thought about sad things, and about how much happier I am now. It really doesn't take much to make me happy. Even the tiniest things can do it, especially when the tiniest things are so incredibly huge to me.

Sunday, February 3, 2008
posted by dave at 1:13 AM in category daily

No entiendo.

Algo pasó, sin embargo.

Tal vez habría sido bueno.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008
posted by dave at 1:17 AM in category daily, weather

You know what a tree sounds like, when it falls onto your house?

Well, I'll tell you. I'm an expert on the subject, now.

It sounds like a very loud clap of thunder, except that it doesn't rumble on and trail off the way that thunder does. Nope, it's pretty much a loud BOOM! and that's it. Or, in the case of a tree hitting my house, it's a loud BOOM! followed by the sound of three cats hauling ass to the basement.

When it happened, I was trying to take a nap on my couch. I'd just about managed to fall asleep, and the house lost power. Then, the hail started. Itty-bitty little balls of ice, maybe a quarter of an inch in diameter. They were adorable, bouncing across the wood of my deck like spilled Skittles or something.

Then, the BOOM!

I still haven't really gotten a good look at the tree. Or of the damage it surely caused. It's pretty fucking dark outside. It's a big fucking tree, though. One of the tall skinny variety that populates the Northwest corner of my yard.

I'll take pictures tomorrow sometime. And I'll need to get somebody up here to give me an estimate on repairs. I know there'll be some repairs. I could see that much, even in the dark. But, there's no damage visible from inside my house, so it could certainly be worse.

Monday, January 28, 2008
posted by dave at 12:37 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

This entry, such as it is, brought to you by:

Bluegrass Russian Imperial Porter

(bottle) Pours black, with a minimal tan head that faded quickly. Light aroma of roasted malts and chocolate. Flavor was pretty much the same - roasted malt and chocolate. The finish was a little drying, but otherwise the 11% ABV is hidden very well. A very good beer.
It ended up being a pretty boring day. One which constantly hinted at the possibility of distraction, but one which failed to live up to those tokens. So, it could have been worse.

WeirdGirl and I slept until after 10:00. We probably would have slept even later, except my sister called with some disconcerting news. Everything, in the end, so to speak, seems to have turned out well. So that's cool, but it did make for several hours of at least slight trepidation.

After WeirdGirl left, I settled into what's become my normal Sunday routine. Doing laundry. Shooting pool. Watching movies. Glaring at my phone.

But that last thing, I think I did more out of habit than out of any real sense of anticipation. I certainly never expected it to make it's little woo-hoo noise. And, of course, it never did. I was oddly okay with its silence, though. Just like I was oddly okay with the silence than ran through my head all day today.

The silence from my phone was familiar. The silence in my head? Not so much, but still, okay.

See, I don't know what happened, but I have to assume that there must have been a good reason for it. I stated my case, for whatever that might be worth. Nothing changed. So I jumped into my time machine. I was right, it's not so bad.

Anyway, some things are funny to me. They have to be funny, lest they be tragic. And I've got enough tragedy, thank you very much.

The thought that a pretty face, or a sexy body, or a friendly personality - the thought that any or all of these things might be enough for me - that thought borders on hilarious.

There's always something missing, it seems. That thing which is intangible and all-important. That's the thing for which the need permeates me. I've found something to fill that need once, twice, maybe three times. I may never find it again. That would be sad, I think.

Desire is more important than satisfaction. Because you can never really have the latter without the former. If you try, it inevitably feels hollow and empty. It feels like a lie, and for good reason.

WeirdGirl and I talked about this stuff for a while, our breathing still synchronized, in the late hours before sleep took us. We've discussed it before, and it's starting to sink in, the things that I say. She's finally starting to understand me, and her understanding will probably signal the end of this. Whatever this is.

Sunday, January 27, 2008
posted by dave at 1:56 AM in category daily

Some of the time, a lot of the time, I imagine that people will read my drivel and figure that I've been drinking. A lot. And on those occasions, I imagine that people will blame alcohol for my drivel.

Perfectly understandable. Usually wrong, but understandable.

Tonight, less than an hour ago, I wrote some drivel. I have been drinking tonight, but I haven't drank very much.

Nope, tonight was a tame night, alcohol-wise.

Now, I'm sitting here waiting for my doorbell to ring. After it rings, I will be able to forget the last several hours, and I will live in the present for a while. Until we awaken in the morning, physically refreshed and emotionally numbed. After some caffeine and nicotine, reality will set back in for both of us.

It will be nice, while it lasts. But, in so many ways, too many ways, it will be a lie.

That's pretty good timing. She's here, and just when I was about to spout some more drivel.

Saturday, January 26, 2008
posted by dave at 1:14 AM in category daily

I would say that, if you think you know me at all - even if it's only from what you've read in this journal - then you would be fully justified in being proud of me right now.

Me? I'm not quite so sure. But then, I know more about the situation than you do. I alone, I think, really know what's at stake.

After tonight, I'm certainly not disgusted with myself, as has so often been the case lately. I did a tiny thing, which I felt needed to be done, and so I got to come home with a slight feeling of accomplishment. Instead of that feeling of cowardice to which I'd become so accustomed.

I await any ramifications with a little bit of fear, and a little bit of anticipation. Odds are, there will be no discernable ramifications at all. But I'm the only one who suspects that it was all a waste of time and effort. Others silently applauded me tonight, after only a little bit of encouragement from me.

I'm not sure if I did something good, and I'm not sure if I did something bad. What I'm sure of is that, finally, I did something.

Finally.

Thursday, January 24, 2008
posted by dave at 1:13 AM in category daily, ramblings

I deny this new reality, and it slams into me.

---

Today was, of course, AlliDay.It wasn't too bad at The Pub. A little more crowded than I'd have preferred, and one shithead took my seat while I was outside making a phone call. But I got to talk to AlliGirl in little snippets, and her sunny disposition helped to brighten my mood a little. Also, it was freaking cold today.

---

I refuse this new reality, and it slams into me.

---

I also found out something pretty interesting and a little intriguing. Some little gestures, which I never really paid any attention to at all, back when they were happening. I've always admitted that I have a problem taking hints. This may have just been more of that, but I really think that it was more of a timing problem. Like, six hours earlier, and everything might have turned out quite differently. But, by the time the gestures started happening, it was too late. I was utterly distracted by then. Oh well. I'd have only given us about a week, anyway.

---

I ignore this new reality, and it slams into me.

---

After work, I stopped at Rich O's for a beer and a pizza. I had several insane minutes when I first arrived, but it really wasn't that big of a deal. Just me, being weird. Plus, I had PearlGirl look, and she verified what I'd been babbling about.

The resemblance was really uncanny.

---

I reject this new reality, and it slams into me.

---

I might get to see HatGirl this weekend. It's been a million gazillion years. Seems that way, anyway. I hope hope hope I get to see her.

---

I doubt this new reality, and it slams into me.

---

Tomorrow is Thursday. VacuumLady will come and clean my house and terrorize my cats for a while. I'll come home and immediately start slobbing the place up again. It's the kitchen that I can't seem to keep up with. And my bedroom. Those damn piles of laundry are back with a vengeance.

---

I am riddled with holes, yet I still stand. It's not that I'm particularly strong, I don't think. That's not why I'm, successfully so far, refusing to let myself fall. Again. Over this. It's just that I know that my falling would serve no purpose except to make things worse than they already are. And it would also prove Everyone On Earth right. I refuse to fall and, by refusing, I laugh in the face of Everyone On Earth. The fuckers.

---

I've been having a problem with sleep lately, and I think I've figured out why. Because, waking up to this new reality, that's the worst time for me. This is something that's certainly different, this time around.

My mind still clouded by the fading fog of sleep, only the most powerful thoughts shine through. And I feel myself falling, sliding, de-evolving into that past version of myself that nobody liked very much. That I didn't like very much. So I fight with everything that I have, and it always seems touch and go for those first few minutes while the fog fades away. Then, somehow, so far anyway, I emerge triumphant.

So, I don't think it's really sleep that's the problem. It's the fear of waking up that's getting to me.

---

I accept this new reality, and still, it keeps fucking relentlessly slamming into me.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008
posted by dave at 10:32 PM in category daily

Today was, as the entry title suggests, kinda boring.

I managed to impress myself by staying awake all day, despite having only three hours of sleep since Sunday at 7:00. I just got wrapped up in this work bullshit opportunity and, before I knew it, it was time to come home. So, yay for me!

Then I took a short nap, being very careful to keep it short, so that I could have a reasonable chance at getting to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight. We'll see how that plan works. I had really terrible dreams about Everyone On Earth turning Everyone Else On Earth against me.

Also tonight, I spent a couple of hours talking with StupidGirl. She hasn't made up her mind about coming here. I haven't made up my mind about whether I want her to come here. So, basically, nothing has changed.

It would, however, be nice to see her right now. I could certainly use the distraction. But I want her, or any girl, to be more than a distraction for me. It was completely unfair to MixedSignalGirl. It's been completely unfair to WeirdGirl, though she doesn't seem to mind as much as I do. I'm just trying to keep from repeating that same mistake yet again.

Not until I'm ready. And, if I'm never ready, then so be it.

Anyway, maybe by May I won't need the distraction any more. Or maybe by May I'll be dating someone local, and then StupidGirl sleeping over would be awkward at best.

Haha. Dating someone local. Having a real relationship with a real possibility for a future.

Hahaha. I kill me.

posted by dave at 12:30 AM in category daily, ramblings

Every now and then I have a dangerous kind of thought. I don't like it, not even a little bit, but the same theme keeps resurfacing.

My stupid heart tries to convince my brain that maybe I should just strap one on, so to speak.

Be a man!

That's always the underlying charge.

I think that it's a good thing that my brain isn't quite as stupid as my heart.

---

I can't believe that I have to go back to work tomorrow. Furthermore, I can't believe that I'm still awake right now. I forced myself out of bed, after about three hours of sleep, at 7:00 this morning. I'd thought that this would make me sufficiently tired tonight, so that I might get to sleep at a decent hour.

Ha!

It's been a rough last few days off of work. Tomorrow will bring a totally different kind of turmoil.

I hate change.

---

Oh yeah, before I forget. I wrote an entry late Sunday night. In that entry, I made a couple of cryptic references to a couple of girls. Neither of the girls referenced are people I saw over the weekend. I guess there was confusion. I hope I just cleared it up.

---

I guess that's it for now.

Friday, January 18, 2008
posted by dave at 9:14 PM in category daily

oops

Thursday, January 17, 2008
posted by dave at 12:20 AM in category daily

Hit the snooze, hit the snooze, hit the snooze.

Okay, fine. Get up, take a shower. Check email. Nothing.

Go to work.

Boring, boring boring, boring, Hey, it's AlliDay!

Boring, boring.

Lunch time, finally. Hi, AlliGirl!

Lunch is over.

Bye, AlliGirl!

Boring, boring, boring, boring.

Yay! I'm off work until Tuesday! Yay!

Nap time.

Hit the snooze, hit the snooze.

Okay, fine. Get up, take a shower. Check email. Nothing.

Go to Rich O's.

Boring, boring.

LaptopGirl is here!

Yay!

She smiled at me!

Yay!

LaptopGirl is gone now.

Boo!

Boring, boring, boring, boring.

TremensGirl is hot.

Boring, boring, boring.

Go home.

Check email. Hey, there's one from HatGirl!

Yay!

Compose a drunken reponse to HatGirl.

Is it too much?

Nope, it's safe. Send it.

Write a stupid entry.

posted by dave at 12:08 AM in category daily

Happy Birthday to RockGirl!

If her stupid work phone had voicemail, I was going to leave a happy birthday song there.

But, noooooooo, it's a phone from the 1950s or something - before voicemail was invented.

Anyway, Happy Birthday!

Yay for RockGirl!

Saturday, January 12, 2008
posted by dave at 1:32 AM in category daily

The first question tonight was asked by me.

It was a stupid question.

The answer was, "Wednesday, for a while."

I suppose that a small part of me must have expected such an answer. Otherwise I don't think I'd have ever asked.

But, I did ask.

Because I am a dumbass.

---

The second question tonight was asked to me, in response to a question I'd asked.

I paraphrase slightly.

"Where is she? Is she okay?" I'd asked.

"I don't care," she answered. "I'm mortified," she answered. "What was I supposed to do," she asked, "just leave the bill and the mess behind?"

"Fuck yes," is what I should have answered. "The bill will still be here tomorrow, and the mess will be taken care of. Go make sure she's okay."

Everyone on Earth knew the answer to her question. Everyone except her, apparently. I myself was too shocked to answer at all.

---

The third question tonight was also asked of me, as part of a discussion I was having.

The answer is, "The plugs are exactly the same, but I get no sound whatsoever. I guess you need some kind of power source. It was a good idea, though."

Thursday, January 10, 2008
posted by dave at 12:32 AM in category daily, ramblings

I feel like people are starting to assume things about me.

This does not necessarily mean that I'm being paranoid. It might mean that, but it's not a rule or anything. It could be that I'm just having regular thoughts, and I just happen to have a lot of similar thoughts at the same time.

Kind of like, or so I've heard, all of the air molecules in a room, bouncing around the way they do, I've heard that it's at least possible that they'll all find themselves crammed into one corner at the same time.

And then anyone unfortunate enough to be in an other corner would explode or something, because nature abhors a vacuum.

The thing is, I've pretty much got one thing on my mind. Or at the forefront of my mind at least. There are other things. Really, there are. Seriously.

Okay, fuck you if you don't believe me when I say that I think about other things. There's no rule for that either.

When I'm in charge of things, there'll be a fucking rule. It'll be right after the "No pain for HatGirl, ever" rule.

Anyway, I try pretty hard to not write about this one thing that's on my mind. Sometimes my abstention is easy, sometimes it's pretty much the opposite of easy.

The opposite of easy would be hard, for those of you having a tough time keeping up.

It bugs me, though, when I don't feel like I'm in control of myself. See, there's all this stuff that happens, all this stuff that I do and think and say, and I hardly ever write about any of it. Because, I fear, once my fingers start their little tappy-dance on my keyboard, I'm liable to type just about anything.

Anything could, by definition, be bad.

---

There was a dude at Rich O's, Tuesday night. I'm pretty sure I never spoke to him before in my life. He told me, "Dave, for what it's worth, I enjoy reading your blog."

So, "Hi, DudeINeverTalkedToBeforeInMyLife! I'm glad you enjoy the blog!"

---

Also present, Tuesday night, was the girl who, as near as I can figure, was my third crush ever. I'm pretty sure that, in some strange subliminal subconscious way, I'm pretty sure that I've had a crush on this particular girl since the second grade.

So, basically, Pangea split into separate continents, and right after that I got a crush on this girl.

I do not believe that those two events were related.

---

Today was, of course, AlliDay. So I went to The Pub for lunch and I talked to AlliGirl for the first time since the New Year's Eve fiasco. She's just so damn cute, no way can I stay mad at her.

---

And now, I can feel my self-control slipping away. So I'm going to stop typing now before I start typing about how much I...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008
posted by dave at 1:42 AM in category daily

The last couple of nights have been nice. It's been so warm that I've been able to sit out on my swing, enjoy a tasty beverage, and contemplate things for a while. Life and love and the lack of both, mostly.

Things might become interesting here in a few months, around Derby time, as StupidGirl has hinted at making a trip here. But a lot can happen between now and then. I certainly don't want to be pinning too many hopes - or fears - on something that's still in such early stages of planning.

Not even planning, really.

More like thinking about.

Which is totally fair, because that's pretty much all I've been doing for the last couple of hours.

Should I look at this as an opportunity to be saved from this quagmire I'm in, or as more of a temporary distraction? Perhaps I should see it as a giant turd, and my life would be a fan.

Meanwhile, I can't even believe that it's almost 2:00 in the flipping morning. I need to learn how to sleep.

Sunday, January 6, 2008
posted by dave at 3:32 PM in category daily

My recent absence hasn't been caused by any great drama or anything like that. I've just been busy doing boring stuff. There's this pool tournament that started on Friday. I usually play in the thing, but this year all I did was go watch for a while. On Friday, and on Saturday, and on Sunday.

It's cool to be around pool players for a change.

Anyway, I've gone to the tournament, and then I've gone to Rich O's, and then I've come home. That's been my life for the past three days and nights. Like I said, boring.

Oh yeah, last night after Rich O's I went to this Mac's place that I don't like. I wanted to listen to some karaoke for a while. It was fun I guess. Nobody was any good, though. Also, I think I'm going to stop calling that place Mac's and start calling it Sluttopia. Or maybe Whoreapolis. I haven't decided.

I never said this would be an exciting entry. Or maybe I did, in the title of the thing. Oops.

Friday, January 4, 2008
posted by dave at 1:09 AM in category daily

...will actually not be complete until tomorrow.

But, that's okay.

It's still a good deed.

So there.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008
posted by dave at 5:49 PM in category daily

In the year 2008, I resolve to...

...drink more beer than is probably healthy for me, but it will only be good beer, so my snobbish ways can continue.

...not lose even an ounce of weight. And, even if I do manage to lower the scale because of illness or some such, I resolve to immediately gain it all back, and then add a few extra pounds just to teach myself a lesson.

...blow minor things way out of proportion, lose sight of what's really important, and just generally make a ass out of myself over trivial bullshit.

...ignore anything that might be considered encouraging. Not that I expect anything encouraging to ever happen, but I resolve to ignore such things, just in case. It's preemptive and stuff.

...automatically assume that most people are idiots or assholes or whores or sluts until they prove otherwise. And, furthermore, I resolve to immediately revert to my initial assessment the first time anyone does something I don't like.

posted by dave at 2:14 AM in category daily

I was about 40 minutes late, but I did have my little year-end ceremony séance tonight. It took place in my garage, because standing outside in that damn wind would have been suicide.

This year, I wasn't nearly as eloquent as I've been in the past. This year, it was too fucking cold, and I was too fucking pissed.

So I basically griped for eight minutes or so before I finally got to the good stuff. The relevant stuff. And, by then, my adrenaline was flowing too strongly for me to speak coherently. So I quit.

Oh, well. Maybe next year.

Thursday, December 27, 2007
posted by dave at 12:14 AM in category daily, drink

I've been trying to decide if tonight was a good night or not. You be the judge.

Good: I feel much better, health-wise, than I've felt for days.

Bad: I didn't get to see LaptopGirl, so now it's been two weeks since I was so blessed.

Good: PearlGirl gave me a little card that said I was Hott with two Ts.

Bad: There were a bunch of weirdoes who scared me away from the living room area.

Good: I got a boner.

Bad: I texted the girl about my boner.

Good: There was a girl who I thought might have been a blast from my past.

Bad: She turned out to be the underage daughter of FirstGirl - and I'd never seen her before. She just looked like that other girl.

Good: I had a yummy NABC Cone Smoker (3051) and a glass and a half of yummy Rogue Chocolate Stout (2370).

Bad: I couldn't finish that second glass of Rogue, because I'm a lightweight.

Good: The place was full of random hot girls.

Bad: The place was full of random hot girls.

Good: My pizza was yummy.

Bad: I'd been hoping to split a pizza with LaptopGirl.

Bad: I'm a shithead.

Good: I'm an honest shithead.

Bad: Tonight I missed, in no particular order; HatGirl, MixedSignalGirl, LaptopGirl, SassyGirl, and NotHideousGirl.

Good: I'm excited that I'll get to see AlliGirl tomorrow.

Bad: When I left, I saw LaptopGirl's car in the parking lot, so I should have stayed until she came back.

All in all, I guess the night was a wash.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007
posted by dave at 11:39 PM in category daily

I guess I'm going to live. Whether it was the nasal spray that my sister brought me, or merely the passage of enough time, or the two-hour hot bath I took, I'm feeling much better now.

Just in time to go back to work tomorrow.

My head feels like it's got hardened cement in it, and my chest hurts from all the coughing and sneezing I've done, but my fever is gone. And the fever is what really knocked me out. Even though it gave me several cool dreams, including one about an orgy that I will never forget.

Tomorrow is supposed to be AlliDay, but either The Pub is closed or AlliGirl just has the day off work. So that sucks, but Thursday will make a fine substitute.

I expect to be the only person at work for the next three days. They gave us the choice between the three days after Christmas or the three days after New Year's Day off, and I took the latter. I don't know why. Probably so I can get some work done this week, since there won't be any distractions. Everyone else picked the days after Christmas.

I've been given token invites to a few things next Monday. I don't want it to seem like I'm holding out for a better offer, but that's exactly what I'm doing.

Monday, December 24, 2007
posted by dave at 3:35 PM in category daily, dreams

This entry is not meant to be used as a timetable of my last several days. I can pretty much guarantee that I've got the order of some things mixed-up - especially for Friday and Saturday. So, unless I specifically say that a certain thing happened on a certain day/night, it's just a guess. You have been warned.

---

Thursday for lunch I went back to The Pub for AlliDay, take two. It was much better - they weren't nearly as crowded and I got to talk to AlliGirl several times. Note that I've switched to calling her AlliGirl instead of BikerGirl. I doubt that I was really fooling anyone.

---

Either Friday or Saturday, I got to see TeamHotness for a bit. They'd been hiding out over at the Sportstime side of things, but I caught them in the parking lot as they were leaving. So that was cool.

---

Oh yeah, Friday night my sisters and I had our Christmas thingy. One of the things I got was a six-pack of bottles of Harpoon Winter Warmer, and I'm told that it can be purchased in Louisville.

Yay!

Neisha's husband Chris and I had a bottle each. It was as good as I remembered. Now I've got four bottles calling to me from my fridge, and if I ever get over this damn death-flu I'm going to drink them.

---

Saturday night this one fucker who I hate decided to sit with me and HatGirl and LuckyFucker. He then decided to try to talk to us. As if. What a shithead.

---

This morning I had a sex dream. It was more of an orgy dream, actually. And a lot of girls I know were in it. I wrote a draft entry about the dream, then sent it to RockGirl for her opinion on whether I should post it or not. Her advice was to change all of the girls' names. I've decided not to post it at all, because changing the names would render the dream meaningless.

---

I've been sneezing today, and sometimes I've sneezed out my eye. I don't mean that my eye has popped out - just some of the snot comes out of the corner of my eye when I sneeze. Gross, right?

---

Dina just came by and got the shrimp tray for tonight's festivities. She also bought me a thingy of nasal spray. I hope it works. And I hope I don't sneeze the stuff through my eye, because I bet that would really burn.

---

I'm going back to sleep now.

Sunday, December 23, 2007
posted by dave at 11:58 PM in category daily

You know what's attractive?

When you've been getting more and more sick for three days, and then you get to the point where your sinuses are draining so quickly and so relentlessly that you're forced to sleep with tissues stuffed into your nostrils.

That's what's attractive.

Yeah, so I'm sick. Some kind of stupid death-flu, combined with that never-fully-awake feeling that comes from getting way too much sleep. I myself have slept for almost twenty-four hours straight. I emerged only long enough to drive to the store and buy a bunch of tissues and a shrimp tray. And today's sleep followed the eighteen or nineteen hours from Saturday.

So I'm pretty well fucking rested, I think.

I don't know what's going to happen with the holiday obligations. I really only have one left. I'm supposed to go to my grandmother's house tomorrow night. It's a long tradition, that we all go there and pose for pictures and stuff. Plus, that's what the shrimp tray is for. But I'm not going to go and risk infecting anyone - especially not my grandmother. She's got enough problems.

I have nothing else planned for the next two days. There's a wrapped and labeled present, for a child I've never met - it's sitting in my car. I guess I won't be allowed to give that gift after all. That's okay, though. I think I understand that it would be weird. Besides, now I'm all sick and stuff, so any gift handoff would be too risky.

I'm going back to bed now.

Buy stock in Puffs plus tissues.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007
posted by dave at 1:40 AM in category daily

Today, not much of anything happened.

I worked. I went to Rich O's after work, and got a pizza. I came home, ate some of my pizza, and took a nap. I watched some DVDs. That's pretty much it.

I have this thing I want to write about, but I can't for the life of me figure out how to write the thing without making it seem like I'm being judgmental. So I'm not writing about it, yet. Problem is, it's got my brain so clogged up that I can't think of anything else to write.

Tomorrow is AlliDay. Maybe that will unclog my brain a little.

Sunday, December 16, 2007
posted by dave at 9:12 AM in category comics, daily, drink, weather

Yesterday we had snow and sleet and freezing rain here, pretty much all day. This was strange, because Al Gore keeps saying that won't happen.

I spent my day at home. Messing with a web page design for LaptopGirl in between power outages. I'd planned to do my Christmas shopping, but I didn't feel like dealing with the idiots on the roads. They're bad enough even when the weather's good.

Anyway, a few times in the past, when it's snowed, people have been known to puss out and cower in their homes instead of going out. And, when Rich O's is really dead, they'll close up early. I was a little fearful that they'd be closing early last night, so I went there very early. Like at 6:00 or so. I figured that if it was dead in there I could at least buy a growler to take home.

But it was okay. The place was fairly full. A bunch of people I know were in the living room area, and for some reason they saved the throne for me. So that was nice of them.

I had myself a pint of NABC Cone Smoker, and enjoyed that immensely while I talked with TremensGirl and MusicalYuppieDude and NotHideousGirl. NotHideousGirl and I have agreed that we will each pretend that we share fault for our crumbling friendship. This is a good compromise, I think.

At about 8:00, I remembered that it was the Ides of December, so I got myself into a bad mood. I briefly toyed with the idea of just going home. Actually, I obsessed over that idea for quite a while. But eventually I decided to just have another Cone Smoker (2881) and stop being a baby.

At one point during the night, I observed this conversation:

women are strange

I will never understand women.

I had the brilliant idea to text BikerGirl and invite her to Rich O's. I'd thought that maybe having NotHideousGirl and me both there might be enough to entice her. This thought helped to slow the descent of my mood, and I ordered another Cone Smoker.

But then I remembered that BikerGirl was working.

I drank about 2/3 (2895) of my beer, but I saw no point in staying any longer, so I came home at 10:00 or so.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007
posted by dave at 3:43 PM in category daily

Found out today that BikerGirl will not be leaving The Pub and, by extension, my life.

This is great news. Frankly, I was getting pretty sick of people leaving my life.

posted by dave at 12:03 AM in category daily, drink, general, ramblings

I'm feeling much better, thanks for wondering. It's always like this with me. I get all worked up over something and then, well I suppose I get it out of my system. Or maybe I just get used to it.

I guess I'll just go back to what I've always done. I'll wait. I'm good at waiting, and I'm pretty sure that my wait won't be in vain. Eventually, something good will happen.

---

A guy at work shot himself this morning. It's in the paper, so I guess I'm allowed to mention it here. I didn't know the guy. I just knew who he was. I imagine that a lot of people would say exactly the same thing. Maybe that was part of his problem.

I fully support a person's right to end their own life. To choose when their life will end. We get so few real choices as it is. But I don't support shooting yourself at work, where someone will have to find your body, and where someone will have to clean up the mess, and where someone will be traumatized. It would be much better, I think, to just disappear and never come back.

---

The other day I had this totally brilliant idea for an entry. For an article, actually. If I ever get around to writing the thing, and if I do as good of a job with it as I'd like, it may end up being my main contribution to mankind. That would be cool.

---

It's hard to stop counting days. I count the days until something good, or I count the days after something good. Because, right now, I have nothing specific to look forward to, I'm mostly counting the latter. Then, when that number gets high enough, I get to freak out a little. So maybe I do have something to look forward to.

---

Yesterday it took, I shit you not, an hour and a half for my pizza to arrive. And then, when I finally got it, it was ice cold. So much for enjoying Pizza Night.

So today I went back to Rich O's after work for another attempt. Rogue Chocolate Stout is back on tap finally, so I had one of those (2196). Right before I finished that glass, I got a little reckless.

Dave's Smoked Chocolate

(mixture) I mixed Rogue Chocolate Stout and NABC Cone Smoker in a 1:1 ratio. I'd been expecting these two very different flavors to elevate each other to new heights. But that's not what happened. They pretty much cancelled each other out. Good thing I didn't waste too much beer with this experiment.
Then, I had the rest of the glass of Cone Smoker I'd bought for the experiment (2789). It was kinda funny, how horrified PearlGirl was when she saw me mix my beers like that. It almost made my disappointment worth it.

Today's pizza arrived in about ten minutes, and it was yummy.

---

One of the things that keeps tempting me is the fact that, with about fifteen minutes, I could end all of this confusion. I could correct all of these misinterpretations. I could answer all questions. Now, knowing myself as I do, I realize that I'd try to stretch that fifteen minutes out to like a thousand years, but I think fifteen minutes is all I'd really need.

---

I just thought of something else, but it's worth an entry all on its own.

Saturday, December 8, 2007
posted by dave at 10:25 AM in category daily

The odds were certainly low, but they've released the names of the Omaha shooting victims, and I didn't know any of them. So that's good, for me at least. I wonder what I'd have done if my ex-wife or one of the kids had been on that list. Probably nothing. I'm good at doing nothing.

Sunday, December 2, 2007
posted by dave at 5:15 PM in category daily, travel

So, I'm back. Got back yesterday evening.

I've been struggling for a week now. Trying to decide what I was going to write about my trip. Besides the usual stuff, I mean. Like the yummy beer I drank, and the boring conference I endured, and the video poker I played.

But there were other things. Things which I haven't quite figured out. What happened? Why did it happen? What will happen next? Will anything happen next? Do I want anything to happen next?

And then, then there was some crap that happened back here, while I was gone. And I ask myself the same five questions.

I don't want to lie, here, in this blog. But neither do I think that telling the whole truth would be a good thing. And I don't particularly want to guess.

Hence, my struggling.

---

Anyway, last night was much more normal for me. I went to Rich O's, that decision having been made for me by the simple fact that LaptopGirl was thinking about maybe going to Rich O's.

It was a nice night. I took it easy on the beer, though.

Saturday, November 24, 2007
posted by dave at 12:00 AM in category daily

Happy Birthday to LaptopGirl!

Take that, universe!

This year, I got to say it without any hesitation whatsoever!

Thursday, November 15, 2007
posted by dave at 1:02 AM in category daily, drink

Took too long of a nap tonight. Might have slept all night except my phone Woo Hooed at me at about 11:30.

A message from LaptopGirl!

Woo Hoo!

Anyway, this morning I was in a bit of a pickle. As far as I knew, I had about 83 cents to my name, and I was nearly out of gas. So I had the brilliant idea to actually check my bank balance instead of just assuming that I was broke.

Almost $94 in there, on the day before payday. I've been eating dirt for the past week for nothing, it seems.

So I was able to gas up my truck and make it to work. Later, with my newfound wealth, I was able to go and observe AlliDay at The Pub. BikerGirl got her hair cut off and dyed slightly red. She looks hot. I told her that it was like I'd discovered that she had a hot twin sister.

I ended up having a pint and a half of Newcastle (8139), and a dude from work paid for it.

Then, after work, I went to Rich O's and had a Cone Smoker (2128). While I was there, Bubbles came in, and she'd messed with her hair as well. Went from blonde to completely black. A huge difference.

I was talking with NotHideousGirl's ex-husband, and this one chick I never saw before. The subject of hitting a deer on the road came up, and I mentioned that I'd met MixedSignalGirl when she'd hit a deer while driving in front of me. The chick I never saw before said that she'd hit a deer once, too. Turns out that the chick and MixedSignalGirl have the same name.

Weird.

Now, after my nap that ran on for way too long, I'm wide awake at 1:00 AM. I'm having a glass of Cone Smoker (2146) in lieu of anything with caffeine, so I hope I'll be able to grab some sleep in a couple of hours.

Sunday, November 11, 2007
posted by dave at 5:10 PM in category daily

Have you ever noticed how cats, if they're caught doing something clumsy, quite often their first reaction is to lick their ass?

I wonder if that's supposed to distract us, possibly make us forget the clumsiness we've just witnessed, or if it's somehow intended to enhance our viewing experience.

---

I think I've figured out why things went so horribly awry. It wasn't my fault, and it wasn't directly her fault. This realization makes me feel a little better about the whole situation. It still sucks though.

---

It makes me sad when pretty girls are sad. I know that I shouldn't care whether they're pretty or not, but I do.

---

Last night I bought a half-gallon growler of NABC Cone Smoker. I plan to drink some of it tonight, but first I have to go to the store and get some food. I'm starving over here.

---

Tomorrow is November 12th, so I plan to go to my dad's old hangout and have a Falls City in his honor. Except that I'm not sure they make Falls City anymore, so I might have to drink a toast to Dad with something else. He can, however, rest assured that it will be something equally horrible.

---

I've been in this giant gaping financial hole since August. Finally, this Thursday, I hope to be able to climb out of it. This will be thanks to my holiday bonus, which always comes in the middle of November.

---

Tomorrow I start another week of being on-call for work. I am so not looking forward to it.

---

I guess that's it. I'm going to the store now. Maybe I'll drink a lot of beer and write some drivel later.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007
posted by dave at 10:45 PM in category daily, dreams, drink

Today was Wednesday, otherwise known as AlliDay. One of the highlights of my week, when I can sneak away from work and go have lunch at The Pub and talk to BikerGirl for a bit. Work has been crazy lately, but today I did manage to spare an hour. I had a nice Newcastle (8109) for lunch, and talked to BikerGirl for a bit.

At the end of the day I got my hairs cut, then I stopped at Rich O's for a quick Schlenkerla Marzen (2056). I don't think that my spiffy new good mood quite fits in with going to Rich O's after work anymore. I haven't felt happy there after work for a long time.

Anyway, I had a dream tonight. I think I can remember enough about it to describe it. I'll try.

I was at Rich O's. But it wasn't the real Rich O's. It was the same one from this dream. Instead of there being a single living room area, with couches and stuff, there were dozens of them scattered about. I was sitting in one such area when she came in.

Some hot blonde girl. I never saw her before in my life, but she seemed to know me. She certainly acted like she did. Within about 10 seconds after her arrival, we were making out like teenagers. So, pretty much exactly like my waking life. Not.

The blonde girl and I went outside for some reason. I asked her what her name was. "Zwanka," she said.

So that was weird.

When we came back inside, there was a huge crowd waiting to hear some band play, and Zwanka and I got separated. I was looking around for her and I saw a baby sitting on the floor all by itself.

I somehow knew that this was LaptopGirl's baby. But I hadn't seen her anywhere around, and nobody seemed to be paying any attention to the baby. I was afraid that somebody might step on it or abduct it or something. So I scooped it up and started walking around looking for LaptopGirl.

The baby and I talked as we walked around. He was about a year old, but quite a good little talker. He helped me look for his mother, but it seemed that just about every girl in the place had dark hair and glasses, so we kept going on little wild goose chases. It was fun though. I remembered thinking that I hadn't held a baby in a very long time.

Then I saw that Dan was bartending, so I asked him to put the baby up on this shelf behind the bar. That way, if LaptopGirl came in, she'd be sure to see her baby up there. I asked the baby if he wanted to go play with Uncle Dan for a while, and he agreed. So Dan put the baby up on the shelf, and I went looking for Zwanka some more.

I never did find Zwanka, but the next time I glanced at the bar, the baby was gone, and Dan gave me a thumbs-up.

I think that I can understand most of this dream. Random hot girls are, of course, a staple. As is Rich O's, even this super-expanded version. The part about wanting to help LaptopGirl's baby wasn't too much of a stretch either.

But, Zwanka?

Where did that come from?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007
posted by dave at 6:22 PM in category daily, drink

Okay, so I was in the restroom at work when it happened. By it, I of course mean that my building burst into flames.

Well, maybe not really. But I couldn't really know that, could I? I was in the restroom, busily doing restroom stuff. There were storms in the area, and there was a very loud crack, and then the fire alarm went off.

I have some questions. If you're taking a shit, and you fear that your building has just burst into flames, what actions should you take before you run screaming from the restroom?

Should you wipe? Pull your pants back up?

Should you wash your hands?

These questions, they haunt me now.

Anyway, it turns out that lightning had struck our building in such as way as to set off the fire alarm, but we didn't find that out for a while. Because it was raining pretty hard, we only mostly evacuated. We went to the bottom floor, near the door but not quite outside the door.

Then all the firemen (I actually do think it was all of them) came and started checking everything out. I texted NormalGirl that I might be late for our date, because my building might be on fire.

Then one of the firemen told us about how our building wasn't on fire, so we went back to work, and I texted NormalGirl back that I'd be on time after all.

---

Later, as I was leaving work, I got a message from NormalGirl that she was on the Sportstime side. So, that's where I went. It's weird on that side.

I'd been hoping that NormalGirl wouldn't wear anything cute, so that I might be able to get to know her better without all the distractions, but alas, she was wearing a cute hoodie and had cute sunglasses on top of her head. But I persevered. We had a nice time, I think. I poured on all of the charm I could muster, and I think we were each genuinely interested in what the other had to say.

It was fun.

Let's see, to start off the evening, I had a Delirium Tremens (1053). NormalGirl was having an Upland Wheat. We shared a pizza and some conversation. For the next beer, we split a bottle of Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (2279) on my recommendation. She seemed to like it okay.

As the conversation continued, I had a bottle of Schlenkerla Marzen (2022). I had NormalGirl try a small sample of that. She didn't gag, so that was cool.

We have agreed that, since I chose the time and the venue for this date, she will be in charge of the next one. I hope that the next one happens. I like what I've seen and heard so far.

---

After NormalGirl left, I went over to Rich O's and talked to MusicalYuppieDude while I had another Marzen (2039).

Sunday, November 4, 2007
posted by dave at 2:04 AM in category daily, drink

I'm a little bit torn right now. There are several things that I'd like to write about. But it's late, and I'm tired. So I have to be very brief.

---

I got to see HatGirl - Yay! - tonight, for the first time in a million zillion gazillion years. It was very nice to see her.

---

There was about a 40/60 ratio of girls to guys at Rich O's tonight. That would be strange enough, but what made it even more strange was that the entire 40% consisted of hot girls. There wasn't a bowser in the bunch.

---

I had four bottles of Schlenkerla Marzen (2006) tonight. All were yummy.

---

There were a lot of weirdoes tonight. Many more than usual. The presence of all the hot girls somehow turned all of the guys into weirdoes. Wouldn't be the first time, but I've rarely seen such outbreaks at Rich O's.

---

Toward the very end of the night, I began to feel some of my recent resolve deteriorate. Luckily, they declared last call before I did or said anything stupid.

---

It was a nice night. I was in a good mood even before I got to see HatGirl, and after that I was in a fantastic mood. A couple of people and events tried to spoil it, but tonight my mood was invincible. I don't expect this invincibility to last very long. The good things never last.

---

Okay, that's it. I'm tired.

Saturday, November 3, 2007
posted by dave at 7:17 PM in category daily, drink, general

I'm dewrinkling some clothes now, so I have a little bit of time to kill. This one stupid shirt probably won't get dewrinkled, and I'll have to iron it. I hate it when that happens.

Yesterday I had a dentist appointment. It was routine, except for the girl who did most of the work. She was far from routine. She was gorgeous. Way too pretty to be working in a dentist's office. I mean, I generally like for any girls sticking their fingers in my mouth to be of reasonable appearance. I wouldn't want some old hag doing it, neither would I want a super-model doing it. At least not in that context, super-models should all feel free to stick fingers in my mouth at other times. And this chick was as pretty as any super-model I've ever seen. Especially when she had her cute little mask on, and all I could see were her incredible eyes.

So I spent all of my time in that chair thinking about baseball, so I wouldn't spring an erection and distract the poor girl as she worked inside my mouth with sharp metal utensils.

The greatest moment that I ever personally witnessed in baseball was several years ago. The Mariners were playing the Indians, and Kenny Lofton had spent about a week calling Randy Johnson a headhunter. When the game started, Lofton was the lead-off batter, and for the first pitch Randy threw a fastball straight at Kenny's head.

A big to-do ensued. There was no fight, but there was a lot of arguing. The umpire gave Randy a warning not to do that again, ever, young man.

Things settled back down, and the game resumed. For the second pitch of the game, Randy threw another fastball straight at Lofton's head, then he walked off the field. Classic.

Anyway.

Last night I went to Rich O's. I hadn't been planning to go, but LaptopGirl wanted me to take a look at her computer. That's not a euphemism. Her computer has been acting up.

So I had a nice pleasant evening talking with LaptopGirl. It didn't seem as surreal as it has lately, so I guess maybe I'm getting used to this new reality. I hope so.

Her computer is running Vista, and it's got some crap wrong with it. I managed to correct one glaring problem, but the rest will have to wait until we can scan the thing for spyware. I'm fairly convinced that's what's causing most of her computer woes. Also, the damn thing bluescreened on us three or four times. I didn't think Vista was ever supposed to bluescreen, and I'd definitely thought that Microsoft would have done away with that particular anachronism by now.

Like I said, it was a nice night. I had most of two bottles of yummy Koningshoeven Quad (722), and I had most of three bottles of yummy Schlenkerla Marzen (1938). LaptopGirl had the rest.

Later, the place turned back into a sausagefest. I stayed around for a little while, though. Talking to MusicalYuppieDude and a couple of other guys. I left just before they started kicking every out.

Saturday, October 27, 2007
posted by dave at 1:18 AM in category daily

One of the cops who'd approached me took my wrists, one at a time, pulled them down to my lower back, and handcuffed me. I didn't resist at all. My total cooperation didn't deter Officer Bullhorn, who by this was time was out of his car and therefore just Officer Loudmouth, from repeating, "Do not resist the officer, Do not resist the officer."

The thought crossed my mind, to scream out that I wasn't resisting shit, but I didn't. I was in serious trouble for some reason, and I was actually fearing for my life a little bit. I remembered that a lot of police cars have video cameras in them, and I resolved to make sure that any recording of what I suspected was my impending murder would show that I'd cooperated completely.

These cops were going to fry. Not that it would do me much good by that time.

Once I was cuffed, they pulled me to my feet that leaned me over against the hood of my car. They frisked me and found nothing. Officer Loudmouth said something about how they were going to search my car because of a felony or something. By this time I wasn't paying attention at all. I was mentally preparing my will, and wondering how my sisters and my dad would take the news of my death.

While one of the cops was searching my car, the radios in the cop cars crackled to life. "Blah blah robbery suspect in custody blah blah," they said. Even though I couldn't see anything, what with my face pressed against the hood of my car and all, I could sense the cops looking at each other with surprise and confusion.

The cop who still had his gun drawn, at least I think it was him, pulled out his microphone thing and talked into it.

The radios cracked some more. I couldn't make out anything, this time. But a lot of amazing things happened right away.

The cops all whispered to each other for a minute or two.

My handcuffs were removed.

Two of the policemen got into their cars and drove away.

I was still afraid to move, so I stayed as I was. Leaning over my car with my face pressed against the wet hood.

Officer Loudmouth and the last remaining backup cop talked for a bit, then the backup cop got into his car and left.

"Please stand up, sir," Officer Loudmouth said to me.

I stood up, and I turned to face him.

"The reason I pulled you over tonight, sir," he said, "was because your driving sucked."

He said it with such a straight face that I couldn't help but contrast his expression with a smile.

"I didn't think that cops were allowed to use language like that with civilians, " I said.

Officer Loudmouth managed to grin without cracking his face in half.

"Only when it's true," he said.

I was starting to decompress.

"Well, sorry about that. I was just having a really hard time seeing in the rain. The glare from the road was blinding me, so I slowed down. Better safe than sorry."

"Right," he said. "Better safe than sorry. You're free to go, sir. Sorry for the inconvenience, and be careful."

As I moved to get back into my car, I had to ask, "What was that all about? The handcuffing and the drawn weapons and stuff?"

"Sir," he said, "Your car matched the description of a car used in an armed robbery in Bellevue earlier tonight."

"So that's why you pulled me over?" I asked.

"No sir," he replied. "As I said, I pulled you over because your driving sucked. It was when I was running your plates that I was told about the robbery and the suspect vehicle."

"Okay," I said. "You thought I was dangerous."

"Yes, sir," he said. "Armed and dangerous."

"Well, I'm pretty much the opposite of armed and dangerous."

"That's good to hear, sir. You have a good evening, and be careful."

"You, too."

And I got back into my piece of shit Thunderbird and drove away.

A couple of weeks later, I finally stopped shaking.

Friday, October 26, 2007
posted by dave at 5:45 PM in category daily

After I drove my Lebaron off that cliff, saving all those lives, I found myself without a car. This sucked, as you might imagine, because I needed my car to work.

Problem was, besides not having any insurance on the Lebaron, I had very little money with which to buy another car. Luckily for me, unluckily for him, a friend of mine had recently gotten a DUI, not his first, and so he wouldn't be driving for a while. Or maybe forever.

I bought his Thunderbird for like $100. I may have been ripped-off.

But the thing ran. It was ugly as sin, but it got me around for work. And other fun things.

One rainy night I was driving home from some bar. Back then, I ran a pool league, so I spent a lot of time driving between bars. I didn't really drink back then, though, because I hadn't discovered any beer that I liked yet.

So I was driving home from a bar on a rainy night, and I was having a very tough time seeing the road. I bet I was going about 25 MPH on a road designed for twice that speed.

I saw flashing lights behind me. One of Washington's finest.

I pulled over to the side of the road, and I clasped my hands together behind my head. So the cop could see my hands and so wouldn't just preemptively shoot me. I saw a guy do that on the show Cops once, and I thought it was a good idea. I mean the clasping the hands thing, not the preemptive shooting thing.

Anyway.

This guy got on his bullhorn and told me not to move. That was fine with me. I wasn't planning on moving. But after I sat like that for about 15 minutes, I got a little fidgety. I'd thought the cop was just running my plates or something. Or maybe he was waiting for the rain to let up a little.

Nope.

He was waiting for backup.

Not one, not two, but three police cars arrived at pretty much the same time, lights flaring and sirens blaring, and they parked so as to surround me.

I got a little nervous at that point.

I got really nervous when Officer Bullhorn instructed me to (a) use my left hand to roll down my window, (b) use my left hand to throw my car keys outside the car, and (c) place my left hand back behind my head.

I nearly pissed my pants when, while I was following Officer Bullhorn's advice to the letter, the backup cops all got out of their cars, crouched behind their doors, and pointed their weapons at me.

It was probably stupid of me, but I had to say something. "I don't want any trouble," I shouted into the rain.

"Shut up right now!" Officer Bullhorn replied.

So, I shut up.

Next I was instructed to use my left hand to open my door and get out of the car with my hands behind my head.

I did so.

Next I was instructed to lie face-down on the sopping wet pavement, facing away from my car, and to place my hands back behind my head.

I did that too. It was cold, but I don't think that's the only reason I was shaking.

All of the cops then stood up. Two of the backup guys holstered their guns and approached me slowly, while the third backup guy kept his weapon pointed straight at me.

I heard Officer Bullhorn open his door and get out of his car.

(to be continued)

Monday, October 8, 2007
posted by dave at 6:51 PM in category daily

At 5:30 or so this evening, I said, "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Things are much better now, but all the stress has wiped me out.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007
posted by dave at 11:57 PM in category daily

It was brought to my attention, earlier this evening, that I haven't written anything in a few days. Almost exactly three days, to be precise.

Well, that's not quite right. I've written a shitload of drivel since Sunday night. I just haven't posted any of it anywhere. And I've written one entry that I kinda like, but I haven't posted it here.

So I am writing stuff. But mostly I've been trying to keep this chicken ranch of mine running somewhat smoothly.

Just cleaning up their shit takes hours every day. I don't know why I talked myself into this.

Monday, September 24, 2007
posted by dave at 8:18 PM in category daily

These damn chickens are really trying my patience, such as it is.

With a bok ba-gok here, and a bok ba-gok there. Here a bok, there a ba-gok. Everywhere a bok ba-gok.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

They're so freaking fucking loud!

But I'm okay. Really.

Chickens I can handle. Or, at the very least, I can let my cats handle them for me. If it comes to that. They'd love it.

Muhaha.

And besides, these chickens are about a gazillion times better than that damn fucking gorilla ever was.

Sunday, September 23, 2007
posted by dave at 6:34 PM in category daily, pictures

I have a doghouse, out behind my detached garage. It came with the house. I haven't had a dog in a million years; certainly not since I bought this place. But that doghouse is out of the way. So I've just left it there. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say.

I was outside messing around today, and I took a good look at that doghouse. It's bigger than I'd remembered. And in a lot better shape. It's actually useable as long as you're a dog.

The last time I thought about that doghouse was back in July. I took NotHideousGirl to a pet store so she could buy a doghouse. I told her that I had one behind my garage, but I was pretty sure that it was too small for even her medium-sized dog. And besides, it must be a really crappy doghouse after sitting there behind my garage for all these years.

See? Not that bad at all.

I don't remember what NotHideousGirl paid for the doghouse she ended up buying, but it was certainly more than free would have been. So now I figure I screwed her out of whatever she spent, because I was too lazy to walk behind my garage until today.

Monday, September 17, 2007
posted by dave at 12:44 AM in category daily, drink

I spent the first half of Sunday not doing a damn thing worth noting. That's my privilege, and I don't regret it.

Then I spent an hour or so out messing with my Monte Carlo. The engine wouldn't turn over, so I had to hook the battery charger up before it would start. I guess maybe my battery has gone bad after all. Oh well, that's not a big deal compared to the water pump that I still hope to have replaced before I die of old age, or even compared to the window switch that continues to vex me.

I picked up the half-dozen or so pieces of the broken switch that I could find, and sometime this week I'll return them to the person I bought the switch from. I've been promised a replacement, but I'm not feeling very optimistic. For now, I've gone ahead and put the original switch back in, because at least it works, even if it is a pain in the ass to use.

After I'd let the Monte Carlo run for a half and hour or so, just to keep things lubricated, I put it back into the garage and went into the house.

That's when something good happened.

I got to spend almost two hours talking to MixedSignalGirl. Until the battery on her phone died. It was just incredibly good to talk to her. It was exactly what I needed.

(By the way, Dina. Remember that girl who was afraid to ever even meet you? She sends all her love and condolences to you. Trust me, that's a really big deal.)

So I spent a fantastic couple of hours on the phone, then I spent a horrible couple of hours as, once again, the truth of the (lack of a) situation between us ripped fresh wounds into me. But it was, overall, pretty fucking wonderful to talk to her.

Then, at about 6:00, I went to this Mac's bar to meet up with SassyGirl and JauntyGirl and EuropeanDude. We had a very nice and pleasant time together. I had some Newcastles (7605) and we all got to see The World's Craziest Guy in action. That guy is probably worth an entry all on his own. Maybe I'll do that some other time.

Sunday, September 16, 2007
posted by dave at 2:06 PM in category daily, drink

Okay, fine. I'll write something. Don't particularly feel like it though. Plus it's mostly irrelevant. And boring. You've been warned.

---

Friday, I took a day of vacation, as I had a bunch of shit to do. I guess I did the mandatory things, such as re-register my cars and have lunch with NotHideousGirl. The car thing went much more smoothly than I'd expected because I found out that they've discontinued the emissions tests here. So that was cool. Lunch was fairly smooth as well, though there's still something wrong between us. Something that's not quite definable but still noticeable and disconcerting and irritating.

Anyway, at lunch I had a couple pints of Newcastle (7521) and then a Diet Coke while NotHideousGirl and I talked and pretended that nothing was wrong. Oh yeah, I also got to see BikerGirl for the first time in a couple of weeks. So that was nice.

While we were sitting at The Pub, my phone rang. Vibrated, actually, but whatever.

It was SassyGirl! Yay! But I sent her to voicemail because I didn't want the first time I'd seen NotHideousGirl in two weeks to be interrupted.

So, after lunch, I went and took care of some more shit, then I stopped at Rich O's. I ordered a Spezial (1712) and called to check my voicemail.

SassyGirl is in town! Yay and yay!

I called her and she said that they'd come to Rich O's and meet me. The "they" ended up being SassyGirl, JauntyGirl, and some European dude who I never saw before. So I gave SassyGirl a huge hug, and I gave JauntyGirl a medium-sized hug, and I shook EuropeanDude's hand. It was all quite touching and moving.

SassyGirl and I got to talking about some of the changes that had taken place at Rich O's since her last visit. The most noticeable being the new pint glasses with the NABC logo on them, and the sampler trays with their miniature NABC glasses. She hadn't seen the sampler trays, so I asked FutureDude to show us one.

I guess I wasn't clear enough, or FutureDude didn't hear well enough, but instead of just bring a tray for us to ooh and aww over, he bought a full sampler tray. Complete with six beer samples.

Oh well, right? Beer is beer. Couldn't let it go to waste.

I ended up drinking the samples of NABC's Croupier (8), Bob's 15B Porter (124), and Community Dark(224). And I didn't hate any of them. The Bob's especially seemed to have undergone yet another transformation since I'd had it last. It was quite good.

I ended up having another Spezial (1732) before SassyGirl and team left to go to some HickFest in my hometown. Then I came home and took a nap.

---

Friday night I was, not surprisingly, hung-over. It wasn't so much the quantity of beer I'd had earlier, it was the mixing of all those different styles. So I went to Rich O's and sat on the throne and had a few Diet Cokes. Once I felt better I had a Spezial (1752) and then a Paulaner (409).

There were people there and stuff, but I never really felt like talking to anyone, so I didn't.

---

On Saturday I went to The Pub to see BikerGirl. I had lunch and a Newcastle (7541) and then a BBC Jefferson's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout (521). I also bought the DVD set of Heroes season one, and I'm pretty excited about that.

---

Saturday night, Rich O's was about half full. That was the good news. The bad news was that the crowd that was there was about 90% weirdoes. Luckily, the island was unoccupied so I sat there. I had a Spezial (1772). After a while, the weirdoes ran TremensGirl off the sofa so she came and joined me. We talked a couple of minutes before WomanRepellant came in and joined us. Sure enough, TremensGirl moved back to the sofa at the first opportunity.

(I just left out a very relevant thing that I did.)

So I talked to WomanRepellant for a while and had another Spezial (1792). Once he'd gone, and once The Weirdo King had vacated the throne, I moved over there and sat. Mostly I just listened to TremensGirl and this one blonde girl talk about how they think various celebrities are smoking hot. How they managed to think about other hot celebrities with me sitting right there in their midst, I'll never know.

At some point I had another Spezial (1812) and then I switched to Diet Coke for the rest of the night.

After last-call, TremensGirl and the blonde girl and her boyfriend wanted to go over to this Jack's bar. I wasn't planning to go, but then about 10 seconds after they'd left MusicalYuppieDude came in and he also invited me over there. So I went. I had a couple more Diet Cokes and mostly just listened to everyone else talk.

The blonde girl guessed my age at 30. I gave her another guess, and she guessed 34. So I told her that I loved her, but really I just like her a a friend.

(I just left out several more incredibly relevant things that happened.)

Then I came home and ate some catfish tenders from Famous Dave's that I'd bought earlier and watched the unaired pilot of Heroes from my new DVD set.

---

I told you it was boring.

When I can't and/or won't bring myself to write about anything important, all that left is the unimportant stuff.

Saturday, September 15, 2007
posted by dave at 1:40 AM in category daily, ramblings

I did some things. I saw some people, drank some beer, ate some food, took a nap, saw some more people, and drank some more beer.

But it was all, just, irrelevant. Completely out of context with my life. Just tiny little inconsequential things, keeping the clock company as it ticks and ticks and ticks.

Meanwhile, I'm starting to get a little excited. I definitely need to stop that feeling. For excitement only leads to disappointment. Still, both of those things are at least relevant.

I'm in such a good mood. That's relevant, too.

Thursday, September 13, 2007
posted by dave at 8:02 PM in category daily

Hot.

European.

Lesbians.

Monday, September 10, 2007
posted by dave at 6:57 PM in category daily

Dammit!

There's a fucking corn maze less than a mile from my house!

And here I am, fresh out of friends to go to the corn maze with me.

I've never been to a corn maze. I bet it would be cool. And probably scary if we did it at night.

Waaaaaaah!

Sunday, September 9, 2007
posted by dave at 2:42 PM in category daily, drink

My weekend started out nicely enough, Friday after work, when HatGirl's dog bit me. And it was one of the nice dogs. Okay, I guess they're all nice dogs, but two of them are regular nice and the other is super-spazzoid nice to the point of being mean.

It was one of the regular nice dogs that bit me. Didn't break the skin though, it just bruised my palm.

Anyway, then I went home and took a nap. I didn't set my alarm because I wasn't really planning to go out. I just figured that if I woke up in time, I'd go out, and if not, I wouldn't. But I did wake up, and while I was getting dressed and stuff TremensGirl texted me to let me know that the requisite band of Friday weirdoes had just left Rich O's.

That was pretty good timing, I think.

I went to Rich O's and had a couple Schlenkerla Marzens (1249) and talked to TremensGirl and MusicalYuppieDude until they started kicking everyone out. Then I came home and sat on my swing and had another Marzen (1266) and drunk-emailed NotHideousGirl.

So that was Friday.

On Saturday, I spent an hour or so out working on my Monte Carlo. I'd bought a new power window switch for the driver's door (the thingy on the old one had snapped off) and so I took my door apart, put the new switch in, and put the door back together. Imagine my dismay when, upon testing the new switch, I found that it didn't work for shit. It wouldn't control the driver's window at all, and it would only open the passenger's window but not close it.

So that sucked.

What sucked even more was that, when I started taking my door back apart to, I dunno, check the electrical connection or something, the entire new switch assembly exploded into about a dozen pieces of deadly shrapnel.

I spent the bulk of my Saturday, after that, either shooting pool downstairs or watching the rest of my Lost season two DVDs. I was going to take a nap but, as usual, my cats started fighting so I couldn't sleep.

Then, at 6:30 or so, I went over to this O'Sheas place in Louisville to meet up with my sisters and their families. Later, we were all going to a tribute gig being put on by my nephew's friends. The O'Sheas part was just to have a couple beers and eat something.

I had a couple small classes of Newcastle (7439) and about three bites of some disgusting chicken tenders that were about 90% breading. Then, we all went over to this Tailgater's place to listen to Cory's friends play and sing. They're all really talented. At Tailgater's, I was very pleasantly surprised to see BBC Nut Brown Ale on tap, so I had three small glasses of that (100). It was yummy and malty, just like I remembered it.

Once I got bored, I came home and sat on my swing and had a Marzen (1283) and drunk-texted TremensGirl for a while. Oh yeah, I drunk-emailed StalkerGirl too.

Friday, September 7, 2007
posted by dave at 12:27 AM in category daily, pictures

I'm in a better mood now. Not that it was a great feat or anything, as there was nowhere to go except up. But still, it's something.

Today I was treated like shit. By someone who is, ostensibly at least, a friend of mine. I may have deserved it. I almost always deserve it.

And you know what?

It was okay.

I got over it.

Also, maybe to make up for being treated like shit, I made a brand-new friend today. Here's a picture:

Dilly

This is Dilly. He's an Armadillo. I never saw him before today. He stands on a shelf at Rich O's, and he moves his head up and down and side to side, following the whim of the air currents in the room.

He's fucking awesome, and I may steal him.

Also, I'm feeding these dogs while my friend is on vacation. One of the dogs is a major pain in the ass. It won't let me even think about petting either of the other dogs. If I try, it starts growling and biting. It's an asshole.

Also, my friend's cat is still afraid of me. But for the last two days I've given it kitty treats, and it's at least eating them. After I've left the room, of course. Maybe, in a zillion years or so, I'll be able to actually pet that cat. This has become my new goal in life.

Also, I'm pretty sure that, after a week of taking care of this 8,000,000 gallon aquarium with its $8,000,000 worth of exotic fish, I'll qualify for a commercial pilot's license. That will be cool, I think. Chicks dig pilots.

Also, I really need to take a break for lunch tomorrow. I hope I can spare the time away from work. I want to see BikerGirl and NotHideousGirl. And I really should talk to NotHideousGirl before it's too late to talk. If it's not too late already.

Also, they're having a sex clinic or something across the street from my work tomorrow. I don't know much more than that, but the information is here.

I guess that's it.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007
posted by dave at 1:26 AM in category daily, drink, pictures

the compound

Dedicated stalkers will, of course, recognize that this is where I live.

Between my house and my detached garage? That little structure is my swing. One of my favorite things to do on the warm nights is sit on my swing and contemplate various things. So, Saturday night, hoping to somewhat salvage my mood, I got myself a Left Hand Smoke Jumper (100) and went out to my swing to do some contemplating.

Right behind my swing is a tree. You can probably see it in the picture. Anyway, As I sat down, I heard this rustling from under the tree. My eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark yet, so I couldn't see anything. Then I heard the rustling again. Closer this time.

"Kitty kitty?" I asked hopefully.

Then there was more rustling, and something, some thing ran under the swing and across my driveway to the front of the house.

And it wasn't no damn kitty.

From what little I could see about its size and the way it moved, I'm guessing it was a big raccoon. Or a small grizzly bear.

Yes, it freaked me out a little. Rabies probably wouldn't be a fun way to die. Being mauled and/or eaten probably wouldn't be that great either.

Sunday, September 2, 2007
posted by dave at 9:21 PM in category daily

As I write this, I'm sitting at Hooter's in Clarksville, notebook in hand. Or notebook on bar actually. It's my pen that's in my hand. I bet it would be a lot harder to write if those positions were reversed.

The perverts next to me keep hitting on the pretty bartenders and scaring them away. This really sucks for me, because I'd kinda like to surreptitiously drool look at the pretty bartenders, but I can't when they keep getting scared away to the other end of the bar.

Anyway, I'm here with my notebook because I'm thinking that a change of scenery might do me some good. Inspire me or something, maybe. I probably could have written something last night after I became superfluous and moved from the living room area to the bar. But I didn't have my notebook with me. Oh well. Probably for the best. I was in such a crappy mood, and I bet that anything I'd have written would have reflected that mood. Unlike the light and breezy stuff I ended up writing after I got home last night.

You can all thank me later, if you'd like.

So I'm in Clarksville at this Hooter's because it's kinda on the way home. Kinda. A couple of hours ago, I was at a friend's house watering dogs and feeding fish and (inadvertently) scaring a cat. Poor kitty.

Then, I went to Famous Dave's for some dinner. And now I'm here. Like I said, kinda on the way home.

Pretty exciting stuff, huh?

And now I'm going to stop writing because BadPickleGirl has called me to see if I want to go hang out by a swimming pool with her.

Duh.

---

Well, that was fun. False (inferred only) advertising though, as she was fully-clothed at all times. So no bikini action. There were also two dogs there, so between my friend's three dogs earlier and these two dogs tonight, I'm pretty much dogged-out.

Plus, my cats are all afraid of me now because I smell like dogs.

Saturday, September 1, 2007
posted by dave at 10:10 AM in category daily, drink

My day started after about three hours of sleep, at the unholy hour of 7:00, when I got up to do some last minute pre-cleaning because VacuumLady was going to be there in the morning. Of course, after I'd showered and done that pre-cleaning, I saw the email telling me that she wouldn't be there until the afternoon.

But by that time I was already committed, and it was too late to try to get any more sleep. So I left. I paid my water bill and got a haircut and dicked around Louisville for a while. Then, at 11:00 I went to The Pub and talked to BikerGirl and waited for NotHideousGirl. I'd promised to buy lunch for the latter. Because I'm nice.

Had a Newcastle (7295) and then another one during lunch. I wasn't very hungry yet, so I didn't eat. Accordingly, I was only going to have a half glass of Newcastle next. But BikerGirl challenged my manhood - or maybe she just wanted to get me drunk - and so I ended up having a second full glass (7315).

After NotHideousGirl went back to work, I went to Red Star to wait for BikerGirl to get off. I'd bought some books at Borders, and so I sat at one of Red Star's outside tables and read part of my new Orson Scott Card book and had a yummy Paulaner Hefeweissbier (392). By this time, I was getting a little hungry, but I figured I'd wait for BikerGirl.

BikerGirl arrived at 1:45 or so, and we had a pleasant little talk and late lunch. I still didn't eat anything, because they fucked my quesadilla order up. But it's not like I was starving. I was more tired than anything else. Once this, my second lunch of the say without eating, was over, I went back to The Pub and had a Diet Coke. Then I came home and took a short nap.

Friday, August 31, 2007
posted by dave at 8:45 AM in category daily, drink

All day yesterday I was craving these catfish fingers from a place called Famous Dave's BBQ in Clarksville. I'm not sure who this Dave guy is, but I'm pretty sure he's never had his own DaveFest. So I'm clearly the real Famous Dave.

So at 6:00 or so I went to said BBQ place and had me some yummy catfish fingers. I had a bottle of Newcastle (7275) with them, and I bought a couple more orders of fish to take home.

Rich O's was packed with strangers. Or fucktards, as I kept calling them. I tried for a while to sit at the island with some weirdoes, but most of the night I stood at the end of the bar (called the g-spot for some reason) and glared at the people in the living room area. Turned out that they were all from the New Albany High School class of 1971. Whoopee.

Anyway, I stood at the end of the bar and had a couple pints of Rogue Dead Guy (486) and glared at people. Then after a while NotHideousGirl's sister, OddlyFamiliarGirl, came in and stood with me. I talked to her for a while, and I traded text messages with NotHideousGirl.

Then, because I'm nice, I took some cigarettes and a gluten-free beer to NotHideousGirl. We talked for a while, then I came home and ate the rest of my catfish fingers.

To finish the night, I sat on my swing and almost managed to finish a pint of Dead Guy (504) from a growler I'd bought the other day and then forgotten about.

Thursday, August 30, 2007
posted by dave at 12:48 PM in category daily

There were about a million things I wanted to do today. I think that I will fall somewhat short of that number, since it's almost 1:00 and I've managed one thing so far. Two if you count putting clothes on.

What I did was take the Monte Carlo over to the garage. It actually started right up, so that was a bit of a surprise. I'd thought that the battery might be completely shot, because last Sunday after I'd let it run for a while, I shut it off and it wouldn't even turn over. But today it started up without any problems, and the check engine light never did come on. So that was cool.

But it's still got that pesky coolant leak. So I filled the radiator from my hose and drove the car over to my usual mechanic to have them check it out. I knew that it was either the lower radiator hose or the water pump. Of course, it's the water pump. I say of course because that's obviously the most expensive option, and the one that I would never dream of attempting myself. I've changed a few water pumps in my life, and it's just not any fun at all.

So I'll have to wait until my next payday to get the thing fixed. And then, the Monte Carlo will be pretty much back where it was a couple of years ago. Running fine, but still in need of a new exhaust system.

Monday, August 27, 2007
posted by dave at 12:15 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

There was drinking, certainly. And conversation, absolutely. I got the crap flattered out of me by a girl who wasn't completely drunk off her ass. I got to see my sister, Dina, smile for the first time in two weeks. I got to see HatGirl and NotHideousGirl at the same time in the same place. I got to see a dog wearing sunglasses. MusicalHippieDudeMusicalYuppieDude and I split a bottle of yummy Malheur 10 (41). I learned something bad about myself, and I began to suspect something bad about a friend.

I don't want to say that none of that stuff mattered to me. Because it all mattered. But I don't think that any of it mattered as much as it could have. Or, perhaps, should have.

Because through it all, I was waiting. Not anticipating. Certainly not dreading. Simply waiting. Because waiting is the context of my life now. And, not coincidentally, it's also the title of this entry.

On Sunday I spend almost the entire day in my detached garage, working on my dad's old Monte Carlo. When, at 7:00, it finally roared to life, well that was one of the most welcome sounds I've heard in a long time. I let it run for a half-hour or so. I watched the white smoke fade to gray and finally to nothingness. I listened to the motor transition from a very rough idle to a smooth, albeit loud, purr. I watched coolant drip from a small hole in the lower radiator hose and form a spreading green puddle on my driveway.

I did those things and more but, mostly, I waited. After I put the Monte Carlo back in the garage, I took a shower, and I waited. I went to the store to buy cigarettes and Diet Vanilla Cokes, and I waited. I bought dinner at McDonald's, and I waited.

For almost the last three years, I mourned. And that was the context behind everything in my life, every word of every entry in this journal. Behind every word I said and every thought I had and every action I undertook, I mourned.

Now, I don't do that anymore. Instead, I wait.

This is better, I think. Definitely easier.

I think I could wait forever. Sometimes I think that it might be best if I did wait forever.

Because, I know that if the waiting ever ends, then the real work begins.

Context doesn't add background to a life. Context defines a life.

Thursday, August 23, 2007
posted by dave at 12:27 AM in category daily

My experience with tests has always been like that of most people, I imagine.

I'll answer all of the questions, and there'll be a certain percentage that I know I've answered correctly. The rest of the questions I'll either think I got right, or hope I got right.

In most cases, because I'm not particularly stupid, the number which I know I've answered correctly is pretty high. Then anything else is just icing on the cake.

Even on those tests that have been especially hard, I might know for sure that I've answered, say, fifty percent of the questions correctly. In those cases, I can use simple math to keep my optimism up.

Like, say it's a multiple-choice test with four options per question. I get fifty percent right because I know the answers. Pure blind random luck should ensure that I answer twenty-five percent of the remaining questions correctly. So that's sixty-two and a half percent, and that's still not great. But because I'm usually not a total idiot, let's say I can narrow my choices down to two out of the four. Then random luck should get me fifty percent of those remaining answers. That's seventy-five percent, and I can certainly live with that. And of course the fact that I'm not really relying on random luck makes my actual score even higher.

So I took this practice test last night. It consisted of forty multiple-choice questions with four options for each question. I took the test, and I counted the number of questions which I knew, without a doubt, that I'd answered correctly.

The counting didn't take very long.

Two.

There were two questions out of forty that I knew I'd nailed.

The answers were in the back of the test. I got thirty-four correct. A passing score was twenty-six.

So apparently my knowledge of the subject is decent, but my confidence in that knowledge sucks big ones.

Today was the real test. It was also forty questions, with four options per question.

I know that I nailed a whopping ten of the answers.

Pure blind random luck would get me to seventeen and a half correct. Narrowing my choices down to two would get me to twenty-five. The fact that I'm not really relying on luck should get me over twenty-six so I pass.

This was a hard class, and it was a hard test. I'm not especially worried, but I'm not especially confident either. And I'm definitely glad that it's over.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007
posted by dave at 12:44 AM in category daily

I've been in a training class this week. A pretty tough class, made even more tough because most of us there feel like it's a waste of time. One more day of class tomorrow, then a test that we all figure we have to pass or we'll get fired and/or shot and/or publicly flogged. That's never been explicitly stated, but it's the general impression.

Yesterday and today they gave us practice tests to bring home. The purpose of these tests, as far as I can figure it, is to make us want to kill ourselves.

My sister has complained that this blog of mine is difficult to follow because I'm often too cryptic. After two days of this class, I know exactly how my sister feels.

Sunday, August 19, 2007
posted by dave at 10:00 PM in category daily, drink, pictures

so very true

I stole this from somebody at fark.com the other day. I wasn't going to post it because of copyright concerns, but it's just so damn fitting and accurate that I couldn't resist.

Just like I couldn't resist going to Dina's today to see her new kitten.

A new kitten!

Yay!

It is, of course, a comfort kitty, which is one of the best kinds of kitties. It's a Siamese, and it's about the size of my hand, and it likes to meow and climb and sit on people.

I could have stayed and petted that kitten for weeks, but I think that it might have become awkward for my sister's family after a week or so. So I tore myself away, and I tore the kitten from my lap, and I went to Hooter's in Clarksville.

While there, I had some yummy mozzarella sticks and three yummy glasses of Newcastle (7107), then I bought some crab legs and brought them home.

I never said that this would be an interesting entry.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007
posted by dave at 2:48 AM in category daily

By the time I'd posted my overlap entry late Friday night, it had already happened. But nobody knew it yet besides the dozens of kids who'd started calling each other within minutes.

My sister didn't find out until after 5:00 Saturday morning. I didn't find out until after 6:00.

At 6:21, my phone rang. I looked at the screen. It was my sister, Dina. I answered. She was crying.

Now my grandmother has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks, and not in the best of health. So I steeled myself for the news that my grandmother had died.

But that's not what had happened. That's not why Dina was crying.

I can never remember the exact words at times like this.

"Cory...(blah)...accident...(blah)...killed...died," she told me.

My mind went off-track. I hadn't steeled myself for this. Not at all.

Wait a second, I thought. Cory is her son's name. My nephew's name. And he was killed AND he died? That's just too much.

It's still too much. It will be too much for a very long time.

---

I've been at Dina's all day. Everyone has gathered around her. Doing what we can, which isn't much, but it's something. Making phone calls so family and friends don't hear about it on the news. Screening calls to Dina's house. Making sure that someone is always at her side, offering comforting touches.

My family is destroyed.

---

I suppose it's ironic or something that all of the thoughts I used to suppress so that I could sleep, those are the thoughts I call upon now to let me sleep. I call upon these fantasies from the past to distract me from the horrors of the present.

---

I went to work Monday. Dina had gone to the visitation for another boy killed in the accident. I needed to keep busy. So I sat at work and configured some software while my nephew lay on a slab at the funeral home.

---

I'm so worried about my sister. About everyone in my family, but mostly about Dina.

This is the hardest thing she will ever do. She will get through it though. Not because she wants to, because there will certainly be times when she doesn't want to. But she'll get through it because she has to. Because she's the strongest person I know, and because she has a daughter and another son. She will get through this and while she'll never get over this pain, she will get to the point where she can at least live with it.

---

Tomorrow is Cory's visitation. The funeral is Wednesday.

So fucking surreal.

---

One of many news stories about the accident.

Sunday, August 5, 2007
posted by dave at 4:55 PM in category daily, drink

I can't for the life of me remember enough about Thursday and Friday to write about. So maybe I'll write about last night and that will jog my memory or something.

Got to Rich O's very early because I'd thought that NotHideousGirl was having car trouble again and I was going to ride her around give her a ride around town. So by the time I was ready to leave, and I found that she was already at Rich O's having dinner, it was too late to turn back.

Oh, yeah. I spent all day Saturday alternating between reinstalling XP on my home computer, and hacking away at this sludge-filled pipe under my kitchen. The XP install went okay, though I had a pretty big scare at one point when it looked like I'd lost two disk drives. The plumbing work went okay too. My kitchen sink now drains normally. But, at about 4:00 Saturday I found myself covered in nasty gray sludge that smelled like sewage. Between sawing through the pipe, and then carrying the pipe outside, and then banging the pipe on the ground to loosen the sludge, I basically showered myself with that nasty crap for two hours.

And two hours is about how long I spent in the real shower, later, before I began to feel clean again. While showering, I wondered if the sludge would either (a) kill me, or (b) bestow upon me some super powers. More on that later.

Anyway.

I got to Rich O's a little after 7:00, and had a Wostyntje (308) and talked to NotHideousGirl for a while. She was in a shitty mood though, and she left pretty quickly. I moved to the sofa and vegged out for a while. I had a couple more Wostyntjes (328) and then I had a beer that was new to me.

Avery Karma Ale

(draft) Clear copperish amber. Average head that dissipated quickly. Aroma almost undetectable, but of apple peels and spices. Flavor started out very weak, but as my tongue became accustomed to it, I ended up like this beer a lot. A 5.2% Belgian session beer. Pretty damn cool.
I liked that enough to have another one, but remember how I was wondering about maybe gaining super powers? Well, the only super power I seem to have gained was that of invisibility to bartenders. After I spent about 25 minutes trying to get one of them to at least make eye contact with me, I gave up and came home a little before 10:00.

Then I sat on my swing and had a Schlenkerla Marzen (705). Then I went to bed.

---

Let's see, Friday night. Hmmm.

Okay, here's something. My sister Dina and her husband Kenny came in for a while. I had three glasses of Paulaner Hefeweissbier (307) and sat at the island and talked to them for a couple of hours. After that I don't remember what I did. I think I texted some people but they were all being mean and not replying. That would explain my Friday night entry I suppose.

---

Because I had Friday off work, I went in to Rich O's on Thursday too. I think it was boring there, except that at one point my friend Eric came in. Also, there were a lot of hot girls around. I don't remember much about Thursday.

Oh, yeah. I had a new beer Thursday night.

Three Floyds Gumballhead

(draft) Had a sample, and was intrigued enough to have a half-pint next. Hazy yellow in color. Good head and great lacing. Aroma was mostly floral, with a touch of the bubble gum scent that was expected because of the beer's name. Flavor was pretty damn good. Intense, but it never quite got to the point where it was overpowering. Not bitter at all. A little weird. I liked it.
I was going to have more of that Friday night but it was gone.

---

Okay, I'm all caught up now.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007
posted by dave at 9:51 PM in category daily

You ever want a rewind button for your life?

I want one right now.

I want the last hour of my back.

So, I think that I've mentioned before that my spiffy new kitchen sink doesn't drain very quickly. In fact, it's pretty much a race between draining and evaporating. I've gone to bed at midnight, with a full sink, and gotten up at 9:00 with an almost drained sink.

My plan was to get a plumber over here this Friday to fix the thing. But my recent computer woes caused me to change those plans. I didn't want to spend a zillion dollars on a plumber and then not have any money left over to fix the computer.

So, like I said, I changed my plans.

I went to the hardware store and bought one of those drain snake thingies. Never before have I felt so masculine. Except maybe that one time when I managed to shit out half my body weight.

Then, when I got home, I dismantled the pipes under my sink and, after much trial and error, figured out how to use the snake thingy without somehow burning my house down. Problem was, I extended all 25 feet of that thing into my pipe, and when I retracted it and reassembled the pipes my sink still wouldn't drain.

Luckily for me, my sister's husband Kenny is a Mr. Fixit. I talked to him, and he gave me a couple of ideas for things to try next. First among those ideas was to climb up onto my roof and see if the vent pipe might be clogged. Second among those ideas was to go into my basement and start cutting into pipes.

I chose the easier idea. I climbed up onto my roof with a flashlight and the aforementioned drain snake thingy.

Shining the light into the vent pipe revealed nothing, so I started snaking the, um, snake thingy down into the vent.

Oh, I guess I should say how to use the thing.

1. You loosen this thumbscrew at the thingamabob end and start cramming the coil/wire into the pipe.

2. When you feel an obstruction, you tighten the thingamabob-end thumbscrew and start cranking the handle on the housing doohickey while applying gentle pressure on the coil/wire.

3. When you feel the coil/wire going further into the pipe, go back to step 1.

At least, that's the way it's supposed to happen.

That is not, however, the way I chose to do it.

Nope, what I did was complete step two, loosen the thumbscrew, and then watch in awe as the entire 25 feet of coil/wire slid completely out of the housing doohickey and disappeared down my vent pipe.

Oops.

To review:

1. My kitchen sink still will not drain, so whatever has been clogging its drain line is still clogging its drain line.

2. Also clogging its drain line is a 25-foot length of coil/wire.

3. I suck.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007
posted by dave at 11:52 PM in category daily, technology

My home computer has died. At least some part of it has died.

So, until I get it repaired and/or replaced, I will be a little harder to reach. Especially to those of you accustomed to IMing me.

*coughStalkerGirlcough*

I'll still have access to my email via my work computer and my blackberry though, so all is not lost.

Depending on how much this crap ends up costing, it could be as long as two weeks before I have a real computer at home again.

I feel like a caveman.

Monday, July 30, 2007
posted by dave at 10:49 PM in category comics, daily

plus, he was ugly

This was a shithead at Pizza Hut today. Harassing all the customers about buying something or signing up for something. I don't know what he wanted, and I didn't care. I just wanted to pick up my pizza and leave without being harassed.

Sunday, July 29, 2007
posted by dave at 1:01 AM in category daily

I suppose that I was just - what's a good word? - flabbergasted by the opinion expressed to me tonight.

Not defensive, though it might have come to that before too long. Certainly not angry.

Flabbergasted.

I cannot think of any time in my life when I've been confronted with a more inaccurate series of statements.

Luckily, HatGirl came in and distracted me before I made a complete ass out of myself.

Monday, July 23, 2007
posted by dave at 12:39 AM in category daily, dreams, drink

All day, I looked forward to drinking the last Schlenkerla Marzen in my fridge. It was a nice feeling, knowing that, no matter how boring the rest of my day was, I'd be able to end it with something special.

But noooooooooooo!

Apparently, I drank my last Marzen last night, while Eric was here. So tonight I had a new (for me) Belgian instead:

Chimay Rogue (Red)

(bottle) Cloudy dark amber. Smallish head. Faint aroma of dark fruits and malt. Flavor fairly mild, consisting mostly of apples and plums. A little drying at the finish. Pretty good.
It wasn't the Marzen I'd been hoping for, but it was still a nice way to end the day.

Anyway.

I don't know that I have enough material on any single subject to make an entry about it, so I suppose I'll just list some random crap.

---

At the hotel in Philly, there was some kind of showbiz-people convention going on. I know that television news was represented, because one of the guys I talked to a lot had been a TV news reporter in Chicago for like 38 years. And at least one guy I talked to was some kind of theatre performer or director or something like that.

Wednesday night, I was sitting at the hotel bar. I glanced over at the big TV, and they had The Larry King Show playing. I didn't think too much about it until I looked at the table directly in front of the TV and saw Larry King sitting there.

At least I'm pretty sure that it was Larry King. People always look older in person than on a screen. So it might have been Larry's great-great grandfather instead. Either way, it was kind of interesting.

---

I had a dream this evening about one of my female friends. The dream was disturbing to me. Not, as one might expect, because it was a sex dream. I'm actually used to having sex dreams about some of my female friends. This particular dream was disturbing because it wasn't a sex dream. Instead, it was one of those touchy-feely hugs and soft kisses dreams. And it was very nice and sweet. So, shit!

---

Today I bought a new George Foreman grill and a deep fryer. Then I grilled a couple of hamburgers and cooked some fries. I don't know why I do these strange things. I hate cooking for myself, and I'm perfectly happy going out to eat. So now I've got two new appliances that I'll never use again.

---

Some things in my life are starting to turn around. So I don't have much grief these days. This whole being in a good mood thing is something I might have to learn to accept. No matter how boring it makes the stuff I write.

---

But still, I find myself wanting more. All the time. That desire will probably keep my creative fires burning for a while longer. I hope so, anyway. A life without desire wouldn't be much of a life, I don't think.

---

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I've got to leave extra early because of the construction traffic, then I've got to stay extra late to give NotHideousGirl a ride home. I'm sure I'll be pretty exhausted by the time I get home tomorrow night.

---

I should try to sleep now.

Saturday, July 21, 2007
posted by dave at 1:03 PM in category daily, travel

The stewardess for the flight to Philadelphia provided not just one, but two sources of amusement concern for me.

First, there had been a bit of confusion behind me. People were sitting in other peoples' seats. These things happen, but I guess they got a little loud.

Then the guy with the window seat next to my aisle seat showed up. I moved to stand up and get out of his way, and the stewardess came running up to us. Not walking quickly, professionally, and with purpose. Fucking running.

So I've got the dude who needs the seat, standing in the aisle next to my seat. And I've got the stewardess standing about an inch in front of him. There was nowhere for me to go. The stewardess locked eyes with me and asked, "Do we have a problem here?"

"I was going to stand up and get out of this guy's way so he could sit down," I replied. "But you're totally blocking me from doing so."

For about 6 hours, absolutely nothing happened except that the stewardess kept her eyes locked onto mine. It was probably the creepiest six hours of my entire life. I fully expected her to call security and have them remove me from the plane and stick fingers into my ass. Then, finally, her meds kicked in or something. She said, "Foin" and turned around and walked back to the front of the plane.

Foin?

Yep, that's what she said. And that leads me to the second item of concern.

The chick was some kind of a freak. Or maybe a pod person. Or maybe a robot with a faulty language module.

At first I thought that it was just my imagination. But I've since talked with some of my coworkers, who shared the same flight, and they all noticed it.

The stewardess had a strong cockney accent, but only some of the time.

What's up with that?

Like, she'd say things like, "Ploise stoi yoi troi toibles to their loicked poisition, and ensure that your seatbacks are fully upright." And, when we had to sit on the tarmac for a half an hour for some stupid reason, she said, "Ladies and gentleman, I'll be doing a quick beverage service in a couple of minutes. Beer and woine are foive doillars. Soida and woiter and joices are coimplimentoiry."

Just freaking weird.

Sunday, July 15, 2007
posted by dave at 8:55 AM in category daily

I forgot about this. When I got home I had an email from NotHideousGirl in which she said that I'd called her several times, but not said anything when she answered. I was pretty sure that I'd remember something like that, but I checked my phone anyway.

Sure enough, right after midnight I'd called her five times. All of the calls were less than a minute. See, I seem to have misplaced the holster thingy for my phone, so my phone was in my front pocket. Those calls went out at about the time I was driving home, so the pressure from the seatbelt must have caused the calls. Either that, or my dick really wanted to talk to NotHideousGirl. But that wouldn't make any sense, because they've never met. Maybe my dick was trying to call WeirdGirl and kept misdialing. Stupid dick.

Saturday, July 14, 2007
posted by dave at 7:44 PM in category daily

I suppose this makes it official. I've lost my mind.

It started the second I woke up this morning. It continued throughout the day. Through taking a shower and shooting pool and reading and watching The Black Knight and emailing RockGirl and NotHideousGirl. It mercifully stopped during my nap, but now it's started up again.

I'm singing to my cat, Nugget.

And, as if that wasn't strange enough, I'm singing the same stupid verse over and over and over and over.

Lord, I was born a ramblin' man, Nugget,
Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I can, Nugget.
And when it's time for leavin, I hope you'll understand, Nugget,
That I was born a ramblin' man, Nugget.
Nugget does seem to like the attention, but he's making sure to stay out of arm's reach, just in case I decide to make him dance with me.

Friday, July 13, 2007
posted by dave at 6:44 AM in category daily

Yesterday, after NotHideousGirl's ass finally got off work, I took her to buy a doghouse for her dog, Harry.

The place we went is this SuperPet Warehouse, or something like that, on State Street in New Albany. I used to go there to buy canned food for my own cats, but I haven't been there in a couple of years because they started having actual cats for sale and I couldn't stand the temptation.

So we went in yesterday, and of course I went straight to the big cage at the front of the store to look at and pet the kitties. There were three of them, and they were all adult cats. Not kittens. As in not so cute anymore. As in nobody will ever love them and take them home.

The poor things.

Well I somehow managed to leave the store sans three new kitties. All I bought was a foam bed thing for my own cats. I bought it mostly for its comedic potential - there's no way that any of my cats could ever fit into that thing. Maybe just their ass. When I set it out on the floor, Happy and Buddy spent about an hour smelling it. Once they'd decided that it wasn't edible, they left it alone.

Nugget, of course, was immediately terrified of that scary white thing so he hauled ass into the basement as soon as he saw it.

But I digress.

I wish I could honestly say that I don't have room for any more cats. But I can't. My house has plenty of room.

I wish I could honestly say that I can't afford any more cats. But I can't. I make good money, and I could afford it fairly easily.

So why didn't I buy those three cats yesterday, especially when it became clear that they were too old, and that, if I didn't take them home, then nobody ever would?

I don't have a good reason, so it must just be because I'm an asshole.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007
posted by dave at 6:06 PM in category daily

...and yay and yay and yay and yay and yay and yay!

Two wonderful things in as many days!

Problem is, now my smile may spread, out of control, and end up ripping my head apart. Like that one apparatus with the hot girl at the beginning of Saw.

I think I'll chance it.

*smile*

Monday, July 9, 2007
posted by dave at 11:05 PM in category daily

Today, I was given a girl.

"She's all yours, Dave," this dude told me. "You can have her."

We'd both been interested in her, but now the dude was seeing someong else. So he gave her to me.

Pretty sweet gift, huh?

I can't wait to tell her. I think I'll have her wear a big bow, tied around her waist, and nothing else.

Sunday, July 8, 2007
posted by dave at 1:48 PM in category daily

I do have thoughts, sometimes. Really, I do. Serious and deep thoughts. Problem is that, lately, I don't have them very often. And, when I do, it's almost always at the most inopportune moments.

Like when I'm driving. I'm always coming up with good shit to write about when I'm driving. But then, when I reach whatever destination I was driving to, it's all gone. Vanished in the proverbial puff of smoke. At those times, I can remember what I was going to write about, but it seems pointless. Because whatever clever turn of phrase or humorous metaphor it was that first put the idea into my head - it's gone.

So I end up not writing about whatever my brilliant idea was. Instead, instead I write drivel about nothing.

I don't think I've written anything worth reading in several days. Since last Tuesday. And even that entry was more of a reflexive brain fart than something I put any actual effort into.

Anyway, it's 1:39 Sunday afternoon, and I'm bored. I'm alternating shooting pool with watching a movie. A Simple Plan. I've seen it before. It's okay.

I'm thinking about maybe going to get something to eat, but frankly it just seems like too much trouble. I'd have to take a shower, then put on clothes, then figure out exactly what I was hungry for. All tasks too daunting for me right now.

I never said this would be interesting.

Saturday, July 7, 2007
posted by dave at 11:07 AM in category daily, drink

There's not really a whole lot to say about Friday. Though I guess I issue disclaimers like that a lot, and then I ramble on for hundreds of words anyway. I'll try to restrain myself.

Because I had to burn a day of vacation for some stupid thing, I spent a very long lunch at The Pub. Had a couple Newcastles (6439). I was going to eat something. I was going to order fish and chips, eat the fish, and give the chips to NotHideousGirl, but she didn't have time for lunch. So we just met outside for a while. Then I went back in and talked to BikerGirl. Then I went and did the stupid thing.

Later, at Rich O's, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't too crowded. The throne was empty, so I sat there and talked to a couple of regulars about various crap. I'd thought that maybe Rogue Chocolate Stout would be back, but it wasn't. I had a bottle of Avery The Reverend (476) which was quite good.

HatGirl texted me a couple of times. She's out of town, so that sucks. NotHideousGirl texted me that she didn't didn't feel like coming to Rich O's, so that sucked. Really, the only thing notable about last night was that there was a moderate infestation of hippies in the red room, and they provided some amusement for me. Other than that, it was a pretty boring night. I ordered a Paulaner Hefeweissbier next, but I only drank a little bit of it (152) because The Reverend had pretty much used up my alcohol intake quota for the night.

I came home at 10:30 or so and IMed StalkerGirl for a couple of hours. Then I emailed RockGirl, then I went to bed.

See? I just used 290 words to pretty much say nothing.

Thursday, July 5, 2007
posted by dave at 9:45 AM in category daily

Today was the first day of the latest phase of this construction project they have going on here. They're closing a stretch of Interstate 64 in Louisville. It'll be closed for a month and, if this morning was any indication, it'll be a pretty shitty month for commuters like me.

I'm hopeful that, after a couple of days, people will start to settle in to their new routes. If traffic stays this bad, I'll have to start leaving a couple of hours early. It'll be like living in Seattle all over again.

Anyway, this morning the Interstate leading up to the closure zone consisted of stopped traffic. Not stop and go traffic. Stopped traffic. For at least five miles. So I took an alternate route. Me and about a gazillion other people. Including the girl who decided to crash into the back of my truck while I sat at a red light.

She didn't really hit me that hard. Didn't even spill my soda. Her hood got crunched a little, and one of her turn signals broke, but my truck emerged unscathed. Because the girl was cute, and also because nobody got hurt and because my truck was okay, I told her that it was up to her if she wanted to bother with filing an insurance claim. I doubt that she will.

Monday, July 2, 2007
posted by dave at 7:36 AM in category daily

This morning I've got a slight twinge in my back. Last time this happened, the twinge turned into pain turned into agony by the end of the day.

So now I'm afraid to move.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007
posted by dave at 5:33 PM in category daily, drink

This morning, at a meeting, they had breakfast for us. Not that it did me any good. I'd already had breakfast.

But it did provide a bit of comic relief, because everyone was eating strawberries with a knife and fork. One person started it, and before long everyone was doing the same weird thing.

It was a very Seinfeldian experience.

Eating strawberries with a knife and fork is just wrong. They should either be eaten with the fingers, or as I prefer it, smashed onto the belly of a beautiful woman and then licked off.

---

NotHideousGirl and I had lunch again today. I had a Newcastle and a half (6233) and a piece of fish. She had fries.

We've been working on a new code to use between us. Those things that she says all the time, she can just save her breath and just hold up one through five fingers. For example, one finger means that she's sleepy. If we ever progress beyond five common phrases, she'll have to switch to gang signs or something.

---

I completely forgot to give NotHideousGirl shit about her MySpace survey thingy. It's totally full of trick questions.

---

WeirdGirl has decided to give her ex-boyfriend another go. I wish them well, but I'm not particularly optimistic for them. I've heard too many bad stories about him.

Also, I guess now I get to start keeping track of the last time I got to have sex, and hope that the last time wasn't the last time.

---

The new big thing at work is scheduling meetings that include lunch. I've tried to tell these people that I have a standing hot date at lunch, but I don't think they care.

---

That's it for now.

Monday, June 25, 2007
posted by dave at 11:52 PM in category daily, drink, entertainment

Sunday night:

Aecht Schlenkerla Helles Lagerbier (3)

(bottle) Golden color, minimal head. Aroma of stale hops. Flavor of a citrusy stale lager tamed just a bit by smoke. The flavor wasn't too bad, but the damn aroma was disgusting. I poured most of the bottle out.
Monday evening. Actually, Friday night and then again Monday evening:

Barley Island Dirty Helen Brown (22)

(draft) Dark copper, with huge head and good lacing. Malty flavor with caramel and toffee in there too. Mouthfeel a little thin, but a great-tasting beer. I will look for this again.
I'm up to 384 beers now. Wild.

Today was pretty boring, as Mondays usually are. Had Lunch with NotHideousGirl and got to listen to some dude in a groovy shirt try valiantly and lamely to pick her up. Talked to WeirdGirl for a minute or two on the phone - she's still not feeling well. Worked on a bunch of disaster recovery plans for work. Talked to my sister Dina on the phone. Went to Rich O's. Had the aforementioned Dirty Helen beer. Bought a pizza. Came home. Watched 10 Things I Hate About You.

I continue to be in a strange mood. I feel like I'm being hit from all sides by things which I don't understand and for which I'm woefully unprepared. So I'm a little bit jumpy. On edge, as I said in my last entry. But not just about the timing thing. I'm on edge about everything. I kind of feel like I'm living a pre-apocalyptic phase of my life, and I need to do something to prevent something terrible from happening.

Weird, I know.

Sunday, June 24, 2007
posted by dave at 10:23 AM in category daily, drink, weather

I don't really feel like writing anything, but I guess I will or I'll be annoyed with myself.

This edition of Saturday Beer Report is a little different than others. This one is about Saturday afternoon. There will be nothing about Saturday night because I just stayed home.

Anyway, my first stop was Buffalo Wild Wings for Naked Tenders and Spicy Garlic sauce. I had a Newcastle (6003) of course, but there was something a little off about it. I think that place needs to clean their lines or something. There was a huge storm that tore through the area. Customers and employees were freaking out a little. But all that really happened was the lights flickered a few times. We all survived.

Next I went over to The Pub to see BikerGirl. I had a Newcastle (6023) there, and it was yummy as usual. Also yummy was BikerGirl, but she wasn't feeling well and she left as soon as she got off work, and some dude took over the bar. I spent quite a bit of time talking to this heart surgeon and this older couple about beer. I drew everyone maps to Rich O's. The heart surgeon guy wanted one for himself, and the older couple wanted one for their beer-snob son. I am the unofficial Rich O's ambassador to the world. I should get diplomatic immunity or something.

Next I went to Lucky Strike to see if this one cute-as-a-bug girl was working, but there was some dude instead. So I went to Hard Rock to see if CoolHairGirl was working, but the dude there said she'd called in sick. So I went down to Red Star to see if this one chick was working but it was, once again, some fucking dude. I had a Newcastle (6043) and contemplated the serious lack of female bartenders on Fourth Street.

Every time I go to Red Star they play this John Waite song that makes me miss a certain person, so I sent some emails to RockGirl complaining about my lonely life. I'd been thinking for a week that it was a Bryan Adams song, but it's John Waite who I hate. Hey, that rhymes.

I also tried a few times to call NotHideousGirl. I ended up leaving a message, asking if she wanted to go do karaoke later. Specifically, she would sing and I would listen.

On the way back to The Pub, I popped into Sully's, just to confirm that the bartender there was a dude too. At The Pub, I had yet another Newcastle (6063) and talked to the older couple some more. Then I came home and slept.

NotHideousGirl never did call me back about the karaoke. That's probably a good thing, as my mood has been quite strange for the past couple of days. So I stayed home and watched the American Pie movies after I woke up from my nap.

Pretty damn exciting.

Saturday, June 23, 2007
posted by dave at 1:29 AM in category daily

Tonight, I kept having urges.

Almost every girl I talked to, I wanted to kiss for hours.

Almost every girl I talked to.

All but one, actually.

That is all.

Friday, June 22, 2007
posted by dave at 6:41 PM in category daily

My plan was brilliant in its simplicity. It would have been staggering in its effectiveness. If it had been effective at all.

Step One: Take a nap.

Step Two: Wake up refreshed.

Step Three: Go out and enjoy my Friday night.

But noooooooooooooooooooo!

At approximately T-Plus five minutes into Step One, my cat Buddy walked into the bedroom and loudly announced, "MEEEEEEOOOOORRRRROOOOWWWW!!!"

For those of you who don't have cats, and therefore don't understand their language, this translates as, "Hey you! I think I saw a lizard outside! Fetch!"

The sound of Buddy's wail cut right into my soul. It woke me up at the worst possible time. That few seconds when I was almost asleep, but not quite. And now my brain has been fooled into thinking I took a nap. My body is arguing vehemently with my brain, but my brain is being stubborn.

So tonight I get to go out and attempt to have an enjoyable Friday night even though I haven't slept since 11:30 last night.

And I bet there was no goddamn lizard, either.

posted by dave at 1:05 AM in category comics, daily, drink

There's some shit going on that I'm not going to write about, but unfortunately it's all I can think about, so I'm kinda stuck with writing random snippets of crap.

---

Rich O's has Rogue Chocolate Stout (1606) on tap again, so yay!

When I went in after work, FutureDude asked me what I wanted to drink. I said, "Let's see how well you know me. What do you think I want to drink?"

My question stumped him. But, to be fair, he didn't know there was going to be a quiz today.

---

There was also a hot girl and her boyfriend there. They didn't know what to drink, and I recommended Weihenstephaner. They liked it, because it's one of the world's greatest beers.

The hot girl looked really familiar to me. I think there's an actress that she reminded me of. Some Asian chick, and it's weird that I was attracted to her, because I have a pretty strong phobia about Asian women.

---

This entire week has sucked at work, but it should start getting better now that an arbitrary deadline has been met.

---

Today, I had to go make an addition to the police report I made the other day, as that bullshit is continuing.

---

My niece messed-up one of my Rubik's Cubes today, and I cried and cried for hours.

---

Not really, I just thought it would be funny to write that.

I solved it in about 20 seconds. It was only a 2x2x2 cube.

---

I've been on a search for a new hosting company for barenada.com. I thought I'd found one, but I cancelled that account this morning because they wouldn't give me access to the web server's error logs.

---

At lunch today, NotHideousGirl was dressed up as a Catholic schoolgirl, and lamenting about how guys keep telling her that she's cute. Well, duh. My grandmother would look cute in that outfit.

There's a dude at The Pub that always wears a kilt. The last part of this conversation didn't really happen because NotHideousGirl didn't think of it fast enough.

And flowers would be nice

---

I can't think of anything else to write.

Thursday, June 14, 2007
posted by dave at 8:52 PM in category daily, general

First, a public service announcement:

The hosting company that hosts the barenada.com domain has apparently chosen this week to practice sucking dead donkey cocks. Most notably, this has affected all email addressed to or coming from that domain. I estimate that I have three day's worth of incoming and outgoing email jammed-up on the hosting company's servers. Until my hosting company stops practicing sucking dead donkey cocks, email contact with me will be sporadic at best, and nonexistent at worst.
Today I learned a couple of things.

First, I learned that cellphones are banned in the race and sports book areas of casinos not, as I'd thought, because of some tape-delay thing, but because casinos don't want people using the casino's calculated odds and then calling their bookies and placing personal bets.

Second, I learned how to open a beer bottle with a lighter. This is a valuable skill, and quite frankly I'm not sure how I survived to such an advanced age without that skill.

Friday, June 8, 2007
posted by dave at 7:42 AM in category daily, pictures

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that StoreGirl and I had been photographed and interviewed by a dude from one of the local free newspapers. Well some of the fruits of that session made it into this week's issue.

Apparently, space was an issue, because none of the stuff about how awesome I am made into the final article. I guess they decided to cut out the obvious stuff first.

click to go to the site

But still, pretty cool.

And I've thought about it, and I've decided that I will continue to associate with the little people in my life. I won't let this new fame go to my head.

I will, however, still accept groupies.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007
posted by dave at 12:28 AM in category daily, drink, travel, weather

Today I was presented with the possibility of something which just might be the most terrible, mind-wrenching thing that could ever possibly happen. I described the horrific scenario in an email to RockGirl.

Now, you have to realize, RockGirl knows me and my frailties better than just about anyone on Earth. There was no doubt in my mind that she would instantly realize the implications and understand the true horrors of this scenario.

So what was her response?

"I think that would be awesome."

Clearly, RockGirl has been abducted by aliens and replaced by some kind of pod-person. I will be writing her local congressman and urging him to start an immediate investigation. Hopefully the real RockGirl's whereabouts can be determined before it's too late.

---

I'm not really sure why, but today I had HairCutLady use clippers on me instead of just scissors like she normally does. My hair hasn't been this short since I got out of the Air Force in 1992. Plus, now I look like I'm about twelve years old.

---

NotHideousGirl wore a skirt today. Of course I checked out her legs. But because I'm a gentleman I told her, before she even stood up, that I'd be checking out her legs. I didn't even try to be sneaky about it. They're nice, by the way.

---

MisunderstoodGirl is writing a screenplay as a Summer project. People she knows are being asked to contribute character ideas to represent themselves. I can't think of a good character for myself. I thought "freelance gynecologist" was a pretty good one, but FutureDude already got dibs on that character. I'm thinking that "professional beer snob" might be the best I can come up with.

---

NotHideousGirl is also considering a screenplay, but all of her characters are girls.

---

Five days from right now I'll be in Las Vegas! Woooohoooo!

---

I have less than five days to either find my testicles, or grow a new pair.

---

I saw a pretty fucking impressive wall cloud today after work. I got really excited about the potential severe weather, but all it did was rain for a while. At least at my house that's all it did. I haven't watched any TV tonight, so maybe there's been death and destruction all around me. That would be just my luck.

---

There was a chick at work today who looked very familiar to me. I think she might have been a girl I had a crush on back in junior high. If I see her again I'll have to ask her.

---

Schlenkerla Marzen (219) is yummy.

---

I kinda think I want to move back to Alaska. Not forever, but for a year or so. I would live in a secluded cabin and be a recluse. It would be cool.

Friday, June 1, 2007
posted by dave at 3:57 AM in category daily

Eight or nine months ago, I attempted to predict the future.

I was waaaaaaaaay off, or so it would seem at first.

But, aside from some timing discrepancies, lately I've been thinking that maybe I just got some roles switched around, and that maybe I'll end up not being the injured party.

That would be weird, I think. And not in a good way.

---

It's almost 4:00 AM here, and I still cannot sleep. But this is the fun kind of insomnia. The hopeful kind.

---

Today I sent my weekly text message to HatGirl. This time I said, "Guess what... Hi HatGirl!"

She responded with a, "Hiya." And so now my life is complete for another week or so. Like I keep saying, it really doesn't take much.

---

WeirdGirl is mad at me. I think we've broken up again. Not that there was officially anything to break.

---

Today I had to write a bunch of crap for my annual performance review at work. NotHideousGirl offered to dress it up with legalese, but the truth is that it doesn't really matter what I write.

---

I have several irrelevant topics that I kinda want to write about, but I can't seem to be able to get into the writing mood.

---

I had this crazy stupid idea of not going to Rich O's this weekend. I kill me sometimes. Of course I'm going.

---

I guess that's it. Pretty exciting stuff, I know.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007
posted by dave at 12:13 AM in category daily

Had a pretty boring day, which was fine. Watched some movies, shot some pool, played with my cats.

Tonight I got a call from SassyGirl, so that was very cool. I've made plans to go see her in early July. I really hope things work out so that I can make it. I didn't like the way she disappeared a few weeks ago, and I liked even less how I just let it happen without protest.

Tomorrow it's back to work for me. I'm not looking forward to it at all, but maybe I'll have lunch with NotHideousGirl and I'll get to find out why she blew me off Sunday night.

I also want to talk to MixedSignalGirl about something. I'd just call her, but I kinda promised that I wouldn't. So I'm hoping that she'll read this and call me. Hint hint.

Saturday, May 26, 2007
posted by dave at 4:16 PM in category daily, drink

As I write this, I'm sitting at Buffalo Wild Wings on Bardstown Road in Louisville, having a yummy Newcastle (5270) and waiting for my yummy naked tenders with spicy garlic sauce to arrive.

I brought my notebook with me. I was going to try to write a long-overdue update for my anonymous journal, but this cutie bartender keeps distracting me with her various feminine attributes. And talking to me. A lot.

Damn these good looks of mine!

To be fair, however, it's probably more than that. Or maybe even something completely different than that.

See, what's happening, I think, is that people, such as this little cutie-patootie bartender with the perky and shapely breasts, people see me smiling. Smiling like I'm smiling today. Smiling like there's no tomorrow. And they assume, because of the smiling, that I'm a friendly and maybe even *gasp* a sociable person.

They don't know the story of why I'm smiling. They don't know how rare it is. How could they possibly know?

So they see me smiling, and maybe they hear me laugh out loud for no discernable reason. And I seem like a nice enough person. And they talk with me and sometimes they flirt with me.

And I don't have the heart to tell them that this smile, and this laugh, they're not for them. And that I kinda wish they'd leave me alone for a while.

Thursday, May 24, 2007
posted by dave at 12:38 AM in category daily, drink, entertainment, ramblings

I think that, to a lot of my friends, I'm quite handy. I'm a flashlight in the bottom of a cluttered kitchen drawer. Used briefly, and then put away and forgotten. Until the next time I'm needed. It's a lonely existence most of the time, but it's still nice to be useful.

---

I went and bought some bottles of Spezial Rauchbier today. I had two of them tonight (1504). It's pretty damn good. I want more.

---

Tomorrow is virtual Friday for me. Then it's a four-day weekend. What will I do during this four-day weekend? I'll wait and hope, of course. What else would I do?

---

Just about every day, when it's warm, I walk to The Pub for lunch. Google says it's seven-tenths of a mile. It seems longer than that.

---

In two and a half weeks I'll be in Las Vegas again. I should really start trying to get excited about the trip. I could certainly use the distraction.

---

HarpO wrote an entry yesterday which contained this sentence:

"Sometimes people do every thing to lead you on then if you make the effort to respond they pretend you acted without stimulus."

I'm think that this just might be the truest statement ever written. Also, HarpO and I are apparently living parallel lives.

---

I opened my present from yesterday, and it was exactly what I thought it was. It made me smile for about an hour.

---

Today I spent a lot of money on something that I'll probably never use.

---

I'm very confused about tonight's Lost finale. If the thing with Jack was supposed to be in the future, then why was his dad still alive?

---

There are two people, ostensibly among my best friends for my entire life, and I haven't seen one of them in seven months, and I haven't seen the other one in almost a year. This is not completely my fault.

---

I'm in a weird mood.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
posted by dave at 6:58 PM in category daily

...but only because it might do something do drag me out of this funk. Even if it's only for a couple of hours, it would still be pretty nice to feel good again, or at least not feel miserable for a while.

It's the thought that counts, right?

Well, maybe for some people, but usually not for me. I'm not a mind-reader, after all. Sometimes the thought isn't enough. Sometimes it's the action caused by those thoughts that really counts, and that really makes a difference.

Somebody gave me a present today.

I don't know what it is, and I haven't opened it. I haven't opened it because (a) I think I know what it is, and (b) if I'm wrong then that'll just be another thing to disappoint me.

So, for now, it stays wrapped. For now, it has the potential to make me smile. And it will stay that way until I can't stand the suspense anymore, until I rip it open and see for sure what it is.

Monday, May 21, 2007
posted by dave at 6:53 PM in category daily

Today I got to see NotHideousGirl briefly at lunch, and I got to meet her father, NotHideousDad.

Sunday, May 20, 2007
posted by dave at 7:31 PM in category daily, ramblings

I'm pretty sure that nothing relevant happened Friday night.

Ditto for Saturday night except that this one girl told me that I was hot before she got too drunk to be believable. So that was cool.

Then today my graphics card died on me, and I had to go to Best Buy to get a new one. There was a hot rod show across the street from Best Buy, and I was going to stop and look at the cool cars, but then I remembered that (a) I'm unfit for human company and (b) I couldn't guarantee that nobody would try to talk to me. So I just came home instead.

I was going to just stop writing in this blog until this current mood levels off, but the fact is that I need this outlet.

Don't expect much though.

I know I'm not.

Saturday, May 19, 2007
posted by dave at 11:08 PM in category daily

What a fucking waste of a life few months weekend that was.

That is all.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
ugh
posted by dave at 5:20 AM in category daily

At first I thought that maybe NotNideousGirl's sleepiness was rubbing off on me. She was pretty tired at lunch, and then after lunch I started feeling exhausted. But her sleepiness couldn't have rubbed off on me because there was no rubbing.

Then I thought that maybe my sleep deprivation from the weekend was just hitting me harder than it usually does. I mean, I was so tired by 5:00 that I declined a dinner invitation from BadPickleGirl. After work I went to Rich O's to pick up the painting I'd bought the other day, then I came home and went to sleep for ten hours.

And now I think that maybe I slept too much, because I feel like shit. I hope it's just from too much sleep, and not because I'm coming down with some new Springtime variant of the Kentuckiana Death Flu.

Sunday, May 13, 2007
posted by dave at 6:13 PM in category daily, general

I have a problem with toes. Whenever I see bare toes, I become very concerned that I'm going to accidentally step on them and crush them. I don't know if this fear is because of some tragic and long-repressed event from my childhood or what. I just know that I have a real fear of stepping on bare toes. Shoes, and even socks - they don't bother me at all. This is especially an issue at Rich O's because (a) a lot of the people there are hippies who wear sandals even in the Winter, and (b) There isn't much space between the coffee table and the sofa and loveseat.

Speaking of Coffee, if CoffeeDude decides that it's once again time to lecture LaptopGirl on the realities and hardships of life and make her cry, well I might have to think of something to make CoffeeDude cry. Like maybe I'll buy a big expensive bag of coffee and then flush it down the toilet or something.

An excited girl is not a problem that must be solved. It's not a plague upon the land which must be eradicated. It's not a boil that must be lanced. It's not a fire that must be drowned. It's a good thing, even a great thing when it makes the girl's eyes light up like LaptopGirl's were lit up last night.

Speaking of drowning, I don't know how much water plants are supposed to get. My sister is on vacation and yesterday and today were my days to feed the cats and water the plants. I was really hoping for rain so I could skip the latter task, but nooooooooo! It's been beautiful all weekend. Damn my luck.

So I probably gave the plants too much water, and they'll die soon. Or I might not have given them enough, and they'll die soon. Either way, I'm sure they're going to die soon. But at least the cats are okay. I can deal with cats. I know cats. Plants, not so much. Or not at all.

Speaking of plants, today while I was driving home from Dina's, my pretty girl radar went off. I looked to my right, and there was BadPickleGirl, browsing around this plant stand in front of a convenience store. So that was cool. I stopped and talked to her for a bit. She's nice.

Speaking of nice, BigWheelGirl was actually nice to me last night. This was noticeable because she usually tries to disintegrate me with the laser beams she shoots out of her eyes. Shit, last night, I actually made her laugh and grin. One of each, I think.

Speaking of laughing and grinning, that's what I did all night long on my swing. I laughed out loud at the universe which had tried so hard to destroy me. I grinned so big and so much that I half-expected an attorney from Lewis Carroll's estate to show up with an injunction.

You can get cramps in your facial muscles. I didn't know that before. It hurts.

Speaking of learning something new, I also learned that it's a lot more fun for me stay awake for 38 hours because I'm happy than to accomplish the same feat because I'm sad. It's still not that much fun though.

posted by dave at 1:28 AM in category daily

My face hurts so much right now.

Friday, May 11, 2007
posted by dave at 7:31 PM in category daily, general

NotHideousGirl and I spent an inordinate time, at lunch today, discussing funerals and funeral parlors.

This is probably my fault. I broached the subject by mentioning that I was going to visitation for a former coworker of mine.

I may have started the discussion, but NotHideousGirl is the one who took it and ran with it. So for about an hour we talked about these happy subjects. I tried a couple of times to talk about something else, such as how weird and/or cute her hair was today, but she'd have none of that.

At one point we played the fun little game of counting how many times we'd been to funeral homes. Maybe you can use this the next time you host a kids' birthday party. Here's my list:

My paternal great-grandfather
My maternal grandfather
My mother
My friend Gary from Omaha
My paternal grandfather
My maternal grandmother
My father
My aunt Carol's sister (visitation only)
My aunt Helen (visitation only)
My former coworker Scott (visitation only)

Not too bad of a list, for someone my age. NotHideousGirl used the word "dozens" as she counted. So she won that game.

But there have also been some who've died and I didn't make it to the funeral home:

My girlfriend Jackie
My maternal grandfather
My cousin Chris
My uncle Tommy
My aunt Elaine
My parents' friend Marie

And probably some others, of varying degrees of closeness.

The point I was going to make here is that for the ten people listed first, my last memory of each and every one of them is of them lying in their caskets. And, for the six people in the second list? My last memory of them is when they were alive, talking, laughing, smiling.

I, personally, very much prefer the latter choice.

I don't like the fact that I cannot think of my mother without my brain fast-forwarding to the sight of her dead in the funeral home, with her hair done all weird and wearing makeup and a dress I'd never seen before.

My last memory of my cousin Chris was the two of us sitting in his kitchen, catching up on old times. Laughing and bullshitting about how absurd our lives had become. How grown-up the world expected us to be, when all we wanted to do was go hiking and climbing trees in the woods.

Yes, I definitely prefer the latter choice.

I've thought about this before, and I think that I've even talked with at least one of my sisters about it. The thing is, I don't want an open casket funeral. I don't want that to be the last time people see me. I'd rather just have pictures posted around the place, and maybe some home movies playing. Stuff like that.

Not my corpse, in a suit, in a box.

NotHideousGirl tells me that I'm weird. And I probably am. But this would probably count as my last wish, right?

Cremate me. Scatter my ashes somewhere pretty. And let the sound of my voice and my laugh, let them be part of your last memory of me.

posted by dave at 12:08 AM in category daily, pictures

This is what happens when I'm in a weird mood.

I can't focus on any thoughts long enough to coax a decent entry out of them.

So you get this crap.

---

A former coworker of mine died yesterday. He was 35, and he was a cool guy. So on Friday I'll go to the visitation, even though I didn't really know him that well.

---

Rogue Smoke is finally available at Rich O's. Yay!

---

I forgot to mention that, the other night, HatGirl graduated from college. In addition, she surprised absolutely nobody by making the dean's list.

Yay for HatGirl!

---

For the next two days there's an art show at Rich O's. I already bought one of NotHideousGirl's paintings:

RedDanceBlue

We've talked about this painting over lunch several times. I just had to have it. But this time I'm going to pay her in person, because she still hasn't got her money from the last one I bought, when I paid the guy running the art show.

---

Oh yeah, at the art show tonight it was movie night. I didn't stay for it, but I read about it. One of the films is about Darfur, so that's probably the feel-good movie of the year. Not.

---

You know how to piss off a stray cat?

Well, I'll tell you.

Go outside at night, and watch said stray run and hide underneath a pine tree with low-hanging branches. Then, walk right up to the tree and call out, "Hi there kitty! It's so nice to see you!"

See, it pisses the strays off because they think they're being so sneaky and feral.

---

I have no idea what happened to SassyGirl and JauntyGirl. They're probably off on another one of their adventures.

---

TremensGirl showed up at Rich O's this evening with red hair. She then claimed that it's always been red. I'm not fooled though.

---

I have to pee.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007
posted by dave at 11:52 PM in category daily, entertainment, ramblings

I think I like it best when I'm in a weird mood. Like tonight. It just seems that these are the times when I'm able to think the most clearly. About life's possibilities and shit like that.

I mean, when I'm sad, then all I can think about is whatever is making me sad. And, if I'm happy, I'm usually in shock, so I don't think much at all. I'm too busy smiling.

Tonight I watched an entire HDTV broadcast for the first time, despite the fact that I've had an HD-capable TV for three years. I bought a new antenna from Radio Shack a couple of months ago. Tonight, I hooked it up and watched Lost in high-def. Pretty cool, but I missed my Tivo's ability to fast-forward through the commercials.

I think that the Spring of 2004 was a pretty good time in my life. Sometimes I wish that I'd have been able to more fully appreciate it when it was happening. But then I remember that uncertainty principle thing. I remember that, if I'd fully seen and understood what was happening, what was about to happen, well then I'd almost certainly have changed it simply by knowing about it.

In the Spring of 2004, I was rapidly becoming a beer snob. I hung out at Rich O's with LaptopGirl, and I tried dozens and dozens of new beers. Some I liked, and some I didn't like. But all were possessed of the same potential right up until that moment when I took that first sip.

That's why I like being in a weird mood like I'm in right now. Because at times like this, life seems to have potential. I don't feel the need to fix anything, and I don't feel the urge to relish in anything, and I don't feel the urge to simply give up, or stand my ground, or fight for anything.

It's nice.

Sunday, May 6, 2007
posted by dave at 11:20 PM in category daily, drink

Like I wrote yesterday, everything seems like a bad idea to me lately

This entry right here is a perfect example. I should not be writing this. There is no good that can come from writing this. It's not only a no-win situation, it's a lose-lose situation. Writing this entry will only make things worse than they already are.

Anyway.

Friday night sucked. I got this damn wild hair up my ass to go over to Louisville and check out this big Derby party they were having at Fourth Street Live.

That was a stupid idea.

As near as I could tell, there was exactly one seat in the entire complex. That seat was, fortunately, at the bar at the Hard Rock. So I sat there and had a BBC Alt (362) and talked very briefly to CoolHairGirl. But she was busy, so I didn't stick around. Nobody I knew was at The Pub, plus there were no seats available there, so I left and went to Rich O's.

I was in a shitty mood. I should have just stayed home.

But what I did instead was sit on the sofa for about ten seconds. Then people tried to talk to me so I moved to the island. I had a couple pints of a new beer:

Brooklyn Brown Ale (40)

(draft) Almost black with a decent tan head. Aroma of malts, and not much else. Same for the flavor. No bitterness. I liked it.
So that was okay I guess. WomanRepellant joined me for a bit, and he was in a shitty mood too, so we got along okay.

Saturday sucked. I spent the entire day feeling worse than I'd felt in months. Like the absence which had been my constant companion, like it had suddenly decided to turn on me. It became a giant hand which closed around my throat and squeezed as hard as it could.

Then I walked into Rich O's. I'd planned to just sit at the bar and be a hermit for a while. I was looking forward to it actually. So I walked straight through the door and straight to the bar. I ordered a Delirium Tremens (940).

Then I heard a voice.

Her voice.

I turned around, and there was LaptopGirl. Sitting with her friends BigWheelGirl and WeatherGirl.

I waved.

She waved back. I heard her say the word awkward to her friends.

And that was it. I wasn't invited over to join them, and I certainly wasn't going to impose myself on them.

So I sat at the fucking bar like a weirdo and watched my hands shake away every bit of progress I've made since last Summer.

Then I had another Tremens (957).

Then I went home (waved goodbye, got a wave back) and sat on my swing, and had a couple bottles of O'Fallon Smoked Porter (72).

Then I went to bed and stared at my ceiling until this afternoon when it was time to get ready for this family reunion thingy at my sister's house.

While there, I had four yummy bottles of Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Weizen (171). Then I came home and wrote this crap of an entry.

Saturday, May 5, 2007
posted by dave at 11:18 PM in category daily

Sometimes the stupidest little things strike me as hilarious.

Such as, for example, when I send a text message referring to myself as a creepy old fat fucker, and I get a response back saying that I'm not creepy.

Thanks, MusicalYuppieDude, I really needed the laugh tonight.

posted by dave at 10:54 PM in category daily

Sometimes I really hate it when I'm right.

posted by dave at 6:54 PM in category daily

I'm having a shitty day.

I don't feel like doing anything at all, and I haven't done much of anything. Shot some pool and played with my cats. Caught up on Survivor. Ate a bowl of cereal. Clipped my toenails.

Usually, when I get like this, it's because I feel like it's all a waste of time. But today it's a little different. Today everything seems like a really really bad idea.

Like anything I might do would only end up being a big fat disappointment.

Or, perhaps, I'd manage to screw up a good thing by doing or saying something stupid.

To have something turn out to be nothing more than a waste of time, that would be a welcome relief right about now.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007
posted by dave at 8:16 PM in category daily, entertainment

Hmmmm, Wednesday already. Seems like I haven't posted anything in days. And it's only been since late Monday. Or just a few hours, if you count the shaved pussies entry.

My cats Buddy and Happy seem to have taken their groomings in stride. But Nugget, my other cat, is catatonic. He doesn't recognize his friends at all, and he's done nothing but cower in the basement since yesterday. I feel bad, and he's going to feel really stupid when he figures out that he's been so freaked-out and it was Happy and Buddy all along.

Anyway, SassyGirl is back in town! Yay!

She called me yesterday after work, and so of course I went down to meet her and JauntyGirl at Rich O's. The reunion wasn't as poignant as the one in March had been, but why should it have been? It's only been a few weeks this time. Still, it's always very cool to see her.

Oh yeah, she told me that her parents have admitted to reading this journal. So, Hi, SassyGirl's parents! You raised one hell of a good daughter there. I hope you're proud.

Other than seeing SassyGirl, and having two of my cats shaved, not much going on around here. At least nothing much that I can think of at the moment.

Anybody watch Heroes Monday night? That Parkman guy turned into a real dick, didn't he?

I guess that's it for now.

Sunday, April 29, 2007
posted by dave at 1:26 PM in category daily, drink, pictures, ramblings

So why do I keep spouting the same drivel over and over, even long after it's become perfectly clear that it does more harm than good?

Because it feels right in my head. Because it fits onto my heart like a glove fits onto my hand. Because it belongs.

Because one night I leaned against a railing, and I looked at her as she sat and cried on this little wall...

boo

and I broke through the clouds, and I saw how far I was going to fall. And I knew, right then and right there that my life would never be the same again.

That's why I keep writing crap like this.

Because I was right. Everything changed then.

Anyway.

My next stop, after Buffalo Wild Wings, wasn't the BBC after all. It was the Haunted Highland Tap Room. I had a couple Newcastles (4682) and had a little séance. Funny, we only came here once, but this place seems as haunted as any other. Maybe even more than Rich O's, because there are fewer memories competing for attention.

Next, I went over to The Pub. Actually I went to Hard Rock first, but CoolHairGirl wasn't working, so I went to The Pub and had yet another Newcastle (4702) and talked to BikerGirl for a while.

My sister Dina called to see if I was going to Rich O's later. I hadn't really made any plans to go there, but I told her that I'd meet her in about an hour. I invited BikerGirl to come to Rich O's when she got off work at 8:00. I wrote down directions for her, just in case. I think going to Indiana was about tenth on her list of possibilities for the evening.

But at least she didn't laugh when I invited her. So that was cool.

Got to Rich O's a little after 7:00. I sat at the kiddie table with Dina and had another Diet Coke. Her husband Kenny came in after a while. BadPickleGirl came in with some dude, but I think it was just a coincidence that they came in. Unless she's stalking me.

Eventually, I had a bottle of yummy Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (1805). Once everyone else had left, I waited until about 9:30 to see if BikerGirl was going to show up.

Then, some fucked-up shit happened.

Then, I stopped at White Castle on the way home.

posted by dave at 12:55 PM in category daily, drink, ramblings

Yesterday I was all excited to take a trip somewhere. Or maybe not excited exactly. But at least not ambivalent. And that's pretty good for me lately.

I was going to go to either Indianapolis or Nashville. I was going to drink some good beer, eat a good meal or two. Spend the night in a hotel, then come back this afternoon all refreshed.

But nooooooooooo!

About ten seconds before I walked out the door, I remembered that I had to work this morning.

So my trip was cancelled before it started. I decided to play tourist right here close to home.

My first stop was this Buffalo Wild Wings place in Louisville. I'd been craving their naked tenders and spicy garlic sauce since I'd first discovered that combination in Indianapolis a few weeks ago. There are, as it turns out, several million of these places in Louisville. I picked the one closest to the BBC because I thought that I might go there next.

I had a heterosexual Blue Moon (490) and six naked tenders with spicy garlic sauce. I also tried the parmesan sauce. It was all very yummy.

During this time, I also traded a couple of emails with RockGirl. Told her about my aborted trip. She said that she sometimes envied my ability to just up and take off. I replied with this lump of drivel:

Don't envy my travels too much. It's really nothing more than running around in circles, arms flailing, trying to escape this existence.
Some people may wonder why I continue to write crap like that. Why I don't just shut the fuck up already. I suppose, to some people, I might seem to have a pretty decent life. I make pretty good money doing something I mostly enjoy. I shoot a good game of pool, and I get a lot of pleasure from playing. I'm at times surrounded by beautiful women who actually like me, as long as I don't get any ideas. I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone and end up with a new friend.

So what if it's all superficial?

So what if I end up dying alone and unloved?

There are some who would argue that I deserve that particular fate.

Friday, April 27, 2007
posted by dave at 12:26 AM in category daily

Got in the elevator today, after lunch. Heading back up to my luxurious penthouse cubicle.

The elevator was empty. Except for me.

So imagine my surprise when a voice spoke to me.

"Hello?" The voice asked.

That was weird, I couldn't help but notice.

"Um, hello to you as well," I answered. To the empty elevator.

"Hello, can you hear me?" the voice asked.

"I can hear you," I answered.

"Is this God?" I had to ask.

If the voice had answered yes, I realized with alarm, I was going to have a lot of explaining to do. But I also vowed to ask some rather pointed questions myself.

"No," The voice said. "This is Mr. Smith from XYZ Corporation. Who is this?"

"I'm Dave of course," I told the voice. "Are you invisible? How'd you do that?"

"I'm looking for Ms. Jones from ABC Corporation," the voice, er, Mr Smith answered.

Turns out that it was the emergency phone in the elevator. This Mr. Smith guy had called my company's main operator, and been accidentally transferred to the elevator in my building.

Mr. Smith and I had a nice laugh over the situation.

But now I can't help but wonder. If it had been God, or some invisible man, then wouldn't that whole Mr. Smith on the elevator phone thing, wouldn't that have been the perfect cover-up?

So, just in case, no more picking my nose in the elevator.

Thursday, April 26, 2007
posted by dave at 6:40 PM in category daily

More tidbits, because I'm feeling lazy.

---

WeirdGirl finally came back from her trip. She said that I should have gone with her. Well, duh, I already knew that.

---

There are a couple of new bars opening at Louisville's Fourth Street Live this weekend. I'll have to check them out.

---

The only smoked beer that Rich O's currently has is Stone Smoked Porter. They're out of everything else. This sucks, because the Stone just isn't all that great compared to what's missing.

---

I have a hard time imagining her at all these days, but all I have to do it sit down at Rich O's and her ghost plops down beside me. It's a magic place.

---

I wonder if RockGirl is concerned that I'm jealous. Well, I'm really not. Really. She probably already knows that.

---

Tomorrow is a jeans day at work, plus it's a half-day for me. I can't decide which I'm the most excited about. Probably the half-day.

---

Today I texted something silly to HatGirl, and she texted back that she'd email me "later."

So now I can never ever sleep until I get that email.

It's nice to have a purpose in life though.

---

Women are weird.

---

I'm actually working right now. Installing six Solaris zones to get ready for some stuff I have scheduled for tomorrow.

---

It's supposed to maybe storm tonight. There's a tornado watch. I'm excited. I like to sit out on my swing and watch the storms roll in.

---

I should eat something.

posted by dave at 1:52 AM in category daily

Yes, I know it's not Monday. But that song has been stuck in my head for an hour for some reason.

---

Close, but no cigar.

As they say.

I think I need a pause button. Because everything was good for a few seconds, but I knew that it wouldn't last, and I was right.

A pause button would have been a handy thing to have. And a mute button would have been cool, too.

---

Lunch was nice. NotHideousGirl surprised me by showing up. I'd figured she was still sick. WeirdGirl was nowhere to be seen though. Neither was that one chick I went all gah-gah over on Monday.

---

I had fun at work today. I solved a couple of mysteries.

---

After work I went to Rich O's and talked to some dude from PA. His first time at Rich O's. I tried to be a good ambassador.

Also, something strange was going on there with the regulars and the bartenders. Like they all know something that I don't know. Something bad, I imagine.

---

I think I'm sort of taking advantage of a couple of people. One as a distraction from the cruelties of life, the other as a reminder of those same cruelties. Both are much more than that, and I feel a little bad for using them this way.

---

Remember that thing? That thing which, if I'd done, NotHideousGirl would have beaten the shit out of me? Well, I guess Calculon did do that very thing, and he didn't even get smacked. Kind of puts me in my place, doesn't it?

---

I got to see Kelly Clarkson on my TV tonight! Yay!

---

Next week two of my cats are getting shaved. The matted hair has become ridiculous, and my sisters have volunteered to take them to the groomer.

---

NotHideousGirl needs to work on her French accent. Because a Scottish accent makes me think of Willy from The Simpsons. Not sexy.

---

We've recently had a bunch of people from Mexico around work. I've met a few of them. They're all so damn nice! I hope they don't get corrupted too badly.

---

Oh, shit! I almost forgot. I almost died this morning. There was a wreck right beside me on the expressway. I'm still not sure how I managed to keep from being involved. A car cut in front of a truck, and the car got knocked right at me. When I saw the car, it was within a foot of hitting me. So I jerk the steering week and went onto the shoulder. I don't know how that car missed me. A couple of hours later my heartbeat returned to normal.

---

A little nagging part of my brain keeps telling me that I should call her. But I won't, because nothing has really changed.

---

Man, it's late. I should sleep.

Sunday, April 22, 2007
posted by dave at 11:23 PM in category daily, drink

Today was kinda cool, I suppose.

I had lunch at Polly's Freeze again, and it was good, but this was the second day in a row in which I had to sit in the old people section because kids were at my favorite table. That scenario is all a little too leading and obvious and ominous for my tastes.

Heh, I originally wrote testes instead of tastes. I must be channeling Beavis or Butthead.

I was getting ready for my sister's cookout, and I didn't have enough appealing beer at home. Just one bottle of Spezial, and a bunch of strong Belgians. So I went to this stupid liquor store in Louisville (Indiana liquor stores are closed on Sundays) and looked for some smoked beer. I didn't find any, so I just bought some Hoegaarden White.

Dina's thingy was fun, as those things go. I never quite feel right. Like, I know I'm not a stranger to those people, but I feel like I'm one. So I did my best to stay out of everyone's way. And I really enjoyed the Spezial (1470) I'd brought from home.

I got to see BadPickleGirl. That was cool. And I got to see my friend Eric's wife Teri. Eric himself was a no-show. Something about some cousin from Detroit that I never heard of.

I had one of the Hoegaardens (44), but it just didn't taste very good. I'd really had my heart set on smoked beer. Oh well.

Then the guys all went to pitch horseshoes and, lacking a partner, I stayed with the women folk. If Eric had been there we'd have pitched some games, but again, there was that cousin from Detroit thing.

There have been times when Teri has completely saved me, by giving me someone to talk to for hours. Today was not one of those times. She and the kids left fairly early. BadPickleGirl left shortly afterwards, and I suddenly found myself surrounded by people who've no doubt been bombarded with endless stories of what an asshole I am.

So, I left as well.

On the way home, I stopped by BadPickleGirl's house and watched some TV. And I got my beer glasses back. So that was cool. She's very pretty, and her daughter's very charming and precocious, and it would probably be funny if I wrote some gushing love diatribe about BadPickleGirl, but it just seems like too much trouble. And it wouldn't be that funny anyway.

And now I'm very tired, but I don't want to go to sleep because, when I wake up, I have to go back to work.

posted by dave at 10:57 AM in category daily, drink

6:45
I'm feeling a little uneasy right now. Maybe I'm simply dreading the after-thunder crowd I'm sure to encounter later. Or maybe it's just the 24 ounces of industrial swill sitting in my stomach. Whatever the reason, I just don't feel quite right.

I'm sitting at Tucker's, waiting for my steak and baked potato and mushrooms. Come to think of it, maybe this place is why I feel uneasy. We used to come here, every so often.

6:50
I'm going to need another Diet Coke soon. 'Cause it takes a million years to cook steak the way I like it. "Burnt," most would say.

6:56
They're showing the airshow on TV, of course. Looks really crowded. Later, they'll show the fireworks, and they'll be sure to waste a lot of airtime showing the faces of people as they watch the fireworks. I think they do that just to annoy people.

---

After that I didn't take any more notes. My steak was good. It was a bad cut, with a big line of fat running through the middle, but it tasted really good. Baked potato was good. Mushrooms were good. My second Diet Coke arrived just in time. Thanks for your concern.

I got to Rich O's at 8:00 or so. The parking lot was completely full. I hadn't been expecting that. Everybody was supposed to be at the airshow. But when I went in I saw that it really was kind of dead inside. Except for a birthday party going on in the special people section. So that explained the parking lot.

By this time my unease from earlier had gotten a little worse. Because I'd eaten way too much. I should have passed on the mushrooms, I think.

I sat on the throne and ordered a bottle of Delirium Tremens (891). A nice light Belgian will often calm down an upset stomach. LaptopGirl taught me that. But by the time I'd finished the bottle, I wasn't really feeling any better. I almost went home, but instead I just moved up to the bar. I think that the way I was sitting on the throne may have been contributing to my discomfort.

So I moved to the bar, and I had another Tremens (902). And I warned the bartenders that I might let out a 15-minute belch at any moment.

Talked to the bartenders, and then a couple I know moved up from the living room to the bar and I talked to them.

By the time I'd finished my third Tremens (913) I was feeling a lot better. I'd never had that 15-minute belch, but I'd had about a million little burps. I know, thanks for sharing.

FutureDude had told me earlier that NotHideousGirl would be singing karaoke at that Mac's place that I don't like. I already knew that because I'd read it in her blog. I wasn't planning to go because I'd been sure all week that NotHideousGirl had been avoiding me. It's this persecution complex that I have. Runs in my family.

But NotHideousGirl came into Rich O's to get something to eat before she went to Mac's. She sat at the bar with me and so I figured that maybe she hadn't been avoiding me after all. Or, if she had been, she'd gotten over it. In any event, after NotHideousGirl had picked at her food for a while, we left Rich O's. I went straight to Mac's, and she went home because she'd forgotten her glasses.

I feel like I'm really starting to ramble now, so I'll finish this entry later.

posted by dave at 3:27 AM in category daily

...I just wanted to say that that was the most fucked-up and surreal conversation I've ever had.

And I've had some real doozies.

But that takes the proverbial cake.

Saturday, April 21, 2007
posted by dave at 5:36 PM in category daily, drink, travel

Lunch at Polly's.
        It's comfort food for me.
        Had to sit in the old people section,
                Some kids were at my usual table.

Continued Westward.

Took the scenic route as opposed to the non-scenic route.
        Consists of a ten-mile speedtrap.
                Known as Highway 37.
        HatGirl called me, so that was cool.
                Except that I almost died until I pulled off the road.
                HatGirl!
                        Yay!

Arrived in Derby.
        Also known as where?
        And never heard of it.

River was up pretty high.
        Probably as high as I've seen it down there.
        They had a signpost showing old flood levels.
                So it wasn't really that high at all.
        I should have taken a picture.

Ramsey's Tavern hadn't changed at all.
        Same generic old man at the bar.
        Same generic interchangeble bikers at the tables.
        Same stuffed deer heads on the walls.

They don't have Falls City anymore.
        I guess some things do change.
        The bartender remembered Dad.
                I think she's the one who had a major crush on him.
        Had two Bud Lights.
                Not as gross as I was expecting.
        Had a moment of panic when I saw that I had no phone signal there.
                What if HatGirl had tried to call again?
                        Ahhhhhhhhh!
        So I left.

Took the non-scenic, with-speedtrap route back home.
        Brought back memories of the day I met MixedSignalGirl.
                Which I think was the last time I went to Derby.
        Seeing the disabled car really brought back memories.
        It was a hot girl.
                Scantily-clad.
                With two kids hiding in the shade at the treeline.
                And a husband crouching in the driver's seat.
                        Oh, well.
        They didn't need anymore help.
                Somebody was already going to get some gas for them.
                i wish I'd had some cold sodas for the kids though.
                        They looked miserable.

Thursday, April 19, 2007
posted by dave at 6:13 PM in category daily

Waiting for my shirt to dewrinkle again. Always an exciting time. Time in which to ponder the vast mysteries of the universe.

Such as, I know this one girl who usually pees every ten minutes or so. What's up with that?

Her boyfriend, on the other hand, seems to go for weeks at a time without relieving himself. It's actually a little scary, waiting for him to explode in a cloud of urine. Wondering if I'll be caught in the blast.

I, contrary to popular belief, am not a freak. As least not in this particular area. I pee exactly as often as a normal person should pee.

But I think it might be a good thing to have my guy friend's bladder power. I mean, it always feels good to pee. And it always feels even better the worse I have to go, and the more volume I put out. So, I reason, if I could go for even a few days between urinations, then how good would it feel when I finally did go?

Pretty damn fantastic, I bet.

I know I'd trade my few measly ten-second pees every day for a ten-minute pee every few days. Especially one that felt so good I might not need women any more.

Some braniac should look into this. It should be possible.

Monday, April 16, 2007
posted by dave at 6:27 PM in category daily, drink, ramblings

This entry brought to you by:

New Albanian Jasmine the Mastiff (10)

(draft) Black with a decent tan head. Strong aroma of roasted malt and a touch of chocolate. Flavor is like the aroma. Mostly roasted malt with a touch of chocolate. And no hop bitterness! Yay! I really like this beer, so I'll probably never see it again once this batch is gone. I'd better drink up while I can.
I would have had more, but this was after work and my stomach was empty.

Today, StalkerGirl completed my game of 20-questions. She got it right at number 20. So, yay for StalkerGirl!

Meanwhile, RockGirl continues to toil. I lost track of the number of questions she's had after 8,000,000 or so. Actually, I'm pretty sure she's just been fucking with me.

Anyway, now I have to get cryptic.

One of my more self-destructive habits, mentally destructive I mean, is that I tend to obsess over whatever I figure is the worst thing that could possibly happen. And then I start playing some horrible scenario over and over in my head until, in theory at least, I become immune to it. Or at least less susceptible to its harmful effects.

That's the theory.

It even worked. Once.

I used to obsess about this one terrible thing. I'd write about it and I'd talk about it and I'd even joke about it sometimes, and then, when it actually happened, I was surprisingly okay with it. Not really okay per se, but I never did implode or explode the way I'd have thought I would. I think my biggest problem was wondering when and/or if I would realize the horror of the situation and then collapse into a spreading pool of misery and self-pity.

But it never happened. So that was cool, I guess. Though sometimes I think that it might have been nice to have felt something.

Now, now I've found myself a new obsession. Once that's admittedly even less likely than the last one. Less likely, perhaps, but a million times more terrible should it ever happen.

And this scenario, I can't talk about it. I certainly can't fucking joke about it. I did try writing about it. Once, in an email. It was completely ignored.

A while back I wrote an entry about something terrible. For a few days I was sure that this would be the worst thing that could happen. But I realized that I was wrong. It wouldn't even be close to the worst thing. Nope, the worst thing is something that I can't even bring myself to imagine with any semblance of detail.

So, in the unlikely event that it ever does happen, I'll be woefully unprepared.

Great, now I'm in a shitty mood. Way to go, Dave. You dipshit.

Sunday, April 15, 2007
posted by dave at 1:46 PM in category daily, drink

And so another long Saturday leads to another long Saturday Beer Report. One in which I'm certain to leave out several interesting tidbits as I strive to keep from rambling on and on and on and on. And on.

My day started when I went to see WeirdGirl for a bit. She's starting a new job and wanted me to check the place out. It's not my kind of place. There's no good beer there, and the stage was an ominous presence. Loud music and crappy beer make Dave something something.

So then I went over to Borders and bought a book and a notebook and a pen. Then I went to The Pub and had a couple pints of Newcastle (4352) with my fish and chips. It was kinda boring there, plus this one bartender wouldn't leave me alone, so I went over to Hard Rock to see if CoolHairGirl was working.

She was, so I stayed.

I had a couple glasses of BBC Alt (330) and talked to CoolHairGirl whenever she'd get a little break. One cool thing was that we were talking about gluten intolerance for some reason, and she mentioned that she'd met a girl at this Third Street Dive place who suffered from it. From the description I was pretty sure that she was talking about NotHideousGirl. So I whipped out my blackberry and pulled up a picture of NotHideousGirl.

It was her! Small world, as they say.

At about 5:30 or so, I got bored so I left Hard Rock. I'd thought that maybe I'd just go straight to Rich O's, but (a) HatGirl was sick, and (b) I wasn't really in the mood for another sausage-fest. So I did something different.

I went down to our local Caesar's casino.

That place was really packed, as I'd been expecting. I'd wanted to play some blackjack, but there wasn't a single blackjack seat open anywhere. So instead I spent about three hours playing pai gow poker and losing about $22.

Then I left the boat and went to this Legends bar there in the Caesar's complex. They always have decent beer there. I sat at the bar and ordered a BBC Jefferson's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout (432).

I'd only been sitting for about ten seconds when my phone started vibrating. It was, of course, HatGirl. No longer sick, and sitting at Rich O's wondering where I was. I somehow fought the urge to skip and turn cartwheels all the way to Rich O's. Instead, I texted back that I was down at the boat.

So then HatGirl texted for me to stay where I was, and that she and LuckyFucker would come down there.

Never has an hour passed so slowly.

I spent most of that hour talking to this hooker who was sitting next to me. She and her girlfriend were having a two-for-one special going on, and there weren't any takers. At least up until that point. I reminded her that the night was still young. I also ordered some nuclear hot potato skins and managed to get one of them down without melting holes in my cheeks.

HatGirl texted me again when they left Rich O's, and I started to get even more excited. It was really going to happen. I was going to get to see HatGirl. My heart threatened to leap from my chest.

I nearly gave myself whiplash for the next several minutes, jerking my head to the left every two seconds to see if they'd arrived.

And then, they did!

HatGirl!

Yay!

So HatGirl and LuckyFucker and I spent a couple of hours talking and drinking beer. I had a couple glasses of Newcastle (4364). HatGirl had her usual Guinness. LuckyFucker had the BBC bourbon barrel stout I'd been drinking earlier. A good time was had by all. Especially me. Because, HatGirl! Yay!

Once the happy couple left I moved back to the bar. The hooker was gone, so maybe she found a customer after all. I had a couple Diet Cokes while I unwound, then I came home.

Saturday, April 14, 2007
posted by dave at 12:16 AM in category daily

Tonight is was totally crowded as fuck. There was no good beer on tap. So I stuck to girlie beers.

The highlight of the night, by far, was ThatOneHotGirl.

I wish I'd learned her name. So I'd know what to scream later as I totally ravished her in my dreams.

After ThatOneHotGirl left, Rich O's went back to its regular sausage-fest mode. I became bored very quickly.

I texted HatGirl, but she's sick. I texted NotHideousGirl, but she's totally too smart to get trapped in my web. I emailed RockGirl, but she's 712 miles away.

So I just came home.

It was either that, or do something totally stupid involving someone who's totally better off without me.

Luckily the girlie beers I drank tonight prevented total stupidity.

Friday, April 13, 2007
posted by dave at 12:36 AM in category daily

I'm sitting here working, at 11:54. I only point this out so people will feel sorry for me. Because nobody ever had to work this late before.

I'm installing Solaris on a new server, and doing other crap to get it ready for the Oracle people. Like right now I'm putting on the latest recommended patch cluster. Type and wait, type and wait. It's not like I've been working nonstop since this morning, but it feels that way sometimes.

And I find myself, once again, several days late on journal entries. Oh well.

On Saturday during lunch, BikerGirl told me that something was wrong with the Newcastle. She was right. It just tasted a little strange. Not really bad, but not like the Newcastle I've become used to in The Pub.

Then, on Monday, the Newcastle was still a little off. I didn't really care for it that much. I figured that it might be a bad keg, and I vowed that I'd switch to Young's Double Chocolate Stout until it was changed.

Well, they changed it. Not only did they change it from an old, empty keg to a new, full keg - they also changed it from some other beer back to Newcastle. I'm not really sure what I'd been drinking. I thought maybe Tetley's, BikerGirl thought maybe Fuller's ESB. Whatever. The Newcastle is back now. So, yay!

Now I'm installing all of the companion software. This step sucks, because at the end there's a bunch of network traffic, and my wireless router always dies and has to be rebooted.

Let's see, today NotHideousGirl was a no-show at lunch. That's okay though. I talked to BikerGirl, and I emailed RockGirl, and I texted HatGirl. Tomorrow I'll be a no-show myself, as I've got a dental appointment in the afternoon so I'll be taking the last half of the day off.

Speaking of HatGirl, if I don't see her this weekend, that will make it at least eleven billion years since I've enjoyed that privilege. This is about the point where I start to freak out. So the text messages today helped my mood immensely. The time limit before I'd freak out from lack of HatGirl used to be about thirty seconds, so I have been getting better.

Or caring less, I'm not sure. I can feel myself wanting to pull away before she moves away. I don't like this childish desire, but I like the cause even less. Consciously I'm still in denial over the whole thing, but I guess that my subconscious is starting to get a clue. It's going to happen.

Great, now I'm sad.

Anyway, the other day I was talking to a PBD at Rich O's who's just as disgusted with the current state of affairs as I am. So it's good to know that I'm not the only one. I've actually caught myself wondering if the brewer there even likes beer.

And, now the companion software is done installing, so I'll hit the "Exit" button on the little installer GUI, and my network will die...

...and it's back. I had to power-cycle my router.

So now it's back to work.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007
posted by dave at 8:32 PM in category daily

A typical day at work for me:

Coworker #1: Dave, you're fucking awesome.

Coworker #2: You just saved my project again, Dave. Thank you so much.

Coworker #3: Dave, whatever they're paying you, it's not enough. You're irreplaceable.

A typical performance review day at work for me:

Boss #1: You suck, Dave. I'd kill you right now if I wasn't worried about staining my clothes.

Boss #2: What was your name again? Are you sure you work here?

Boss #3: I think I stepped in some dog shit. Oh, wait, it's just you.

Sunday, April 8, 2007
posted by dave at 1:48 AM in category daily

When I left my house today, when I was driving to the mall, there was a red car coming the other way.

I think that the girl driving the red car waved at me, but it happened too quickly for me to be sure.

I think it might have been VigilanteGirl!

That would be cool. It would be even more cool if I'd get to talk to her again. I miss her.

Saturday, April 7, 2007
posted by dave at 2:16 AM in category daily, drink, weather

Anyway, today I went shopping at the mall for a while. My tax refund had finally come in, so I had to buy something or risk going more insane. I kept my spending somewhat in-check, so that was good. Some of this money is supposed to go towards my Las Vegas trip in June.

When I left the mall, it was snowing like a mother fucker. In April. Pretty damn weird.

I went to Hooters and had a couple Newcastles (4212) and a quesadilla. All were yummy. The bartender said that she liked my Pink Floyd shirt, and I returned the compliment for her skimpy Hooters top. Then I stopped by Rich O's and had a Mad Bitch (284). It was also quite good.

After a quick nap, I went back to Rich O's at 9:00 or so. It was really packed, and I stood around for a half-hour or so drinking a Fastenbier (77). It was pretty boring, but then three really great things happened.

First, TeamHotness came in. Second, some old people left the kiddie table. Third, some weirdoes left the bar.

So I sat at the kiddie table and TeamHotness sat at the end of the bar and I got to talk to them for a couple of hours.

There may have been other people at Rich O's, and in fact I'm pretty sure that there were other people there, but I didn't care because TeamHotness had my undivided attention.

Oh yeah, I had another Fastenbier at some point (94).

In case I've never explained this before, TeamHotness consists of two girls. I've never seen either of them without the other. One I call ImprobablyHotMarriedGirl and the other I call UnbearablyHotSingleGirl. I think I've used other, less descriptive, nicknames in the past, but I'm not sure. It doesn't matter anyway. They are TeamHotness, and I'm totally smitten with them.

Also, I've been trying to get some people to play 20 Questions with me. To guess what I bought at the mall. RockGirl isn't playing right, and I doubt she'll ever get it. StalkerGirl didn't respond to me until late. But NotHideousGirl played along via text-messaging and guessed correctly in thirteen questions.

Once TeamHotness left, it got boring really quickly. I ordered another Fastenbier, but I only drank a little bit of it (98). Then I talked to this one PBD about various crap. Some of the crap we talked about was LaptopGirl, and I got sad for a while, but I got over it quickly enough I suppose.

Near the end of the night I had an unexpectedly powerful urge to make out with NotHideousGirl. But I didn't. Partly because she wasn't there, but mostly for other reasons beyond my control. Such as, apparently, my hair color. So instead I just came home and petted my cats.

Not the same thing at all.

It was still a good night, though.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007
posted by dave at 7:49 PM in category daily, drink

That's right, a rare Wednesday Beer Report. Mainly because I had a couple of new beers and I've been slacking off on describing new beers lately.

Anyway.

For lunch, I had a yummy Newcastle (2180) at The Pub. NotHideousGirl was a no-show today, but that was okay. I talked to this BikerGirl bartender. She's nice. And smoldering hot. And about twenty years too young for me. I found out what the Japanese characters on her tattoo mean. I'd been hoping for, I secretly lust after Dave, but alas, they mean something totally different.

At least, she says they mean something totally different.

After work I went to Rich O's to see what new beers Gravity Head had in store for me. I saw a couple of beers that looked interesting, and chose my first one via a mental coin flip.

Clipper City Heavy Seas Holy Sheet (10)

(draft) Dark clear copper. Good head. Smelled like a barleywine, and pretty much tasted like one too. That weird flavor of beets or prunes or whatever it is - I don't like it. This beer did grow on me a little as the glass got more empty, but I still can't really say that I liked it.
When I was about halfway finished with that beer, BadPickleGirl's hot cousin came in. So that was cool. She was dressed all sparkly, especially this one scarf thingy that I'm sure my cats would love to get their paws on.

HotGirlsHotCousin casually mentioned that her cousin was coming in. So I had a little anxiety attack which wasn't allowed to develop into a full-fledged panic attack because, when her "cousin" came in, it wasn't BadPickleGirl at all. Nope, it was some other cousin who I remember meeting briefly a couple of months ago.

My next, and last beer, was another new one for me.

Aecht Schlenkerla Fastenbier (20)

(draft) Cloudy dark brown. Medium head. Delicious smoke aroma. Flavor was pretty good. Much more subdued than other Schlenkerla offerings. Maybe a little bacony, but this was surprisingly good.
By the time I'd finished this beer, I found that I was starting to ramble a little. So, instead of rambling out loud to the people at Rich O's, I came home and sent off a rambling email to BadPickleGirl.

Thursday, March 29, 2007
posted by dave at 11:26 PM in category daily

...having a bad case of the munchies, and then remembering that you have a brand-new bag of potato chips in your kitchen.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007
posted by dave at 10:43 PM in category daily

This is just a short story about Saturday night. I'm only writing it because I'm waiting for Lost to get tivoed.

Anyway, I was driving from Louisville over to Rich O's. I was on I-265, going maybe 60 or so, and a black Trans Am flew by me. He must have been going at least 90.

He also had a taillight out.

So, to quickly review: He was going at least 90, on a Saturday night, in a Trans Am, with a taillight out.

Brilliant, right? I mean, except for the burned-out taillight, which wasn't brilliant at all.

At the exit for Grant Line road, TransAmDude and I both got stuck at the light. I was in the right turn lane, he was in the other lane.

I looked over at his car. The window was down. It was a warm night.

So I rolled down my own window, and I hollered over at him, "Hey! You've got a taillight out!"

'Cause I'm a good Samaritan and shit.

The guy looked over at me and kinda shook his head or something, like maybe he couldn't hear me.

So I hollered even louder, "YOU'VE GOT A TAILLIGHT OUT!"

The light turned green, and TransAmDude gave me the finger and yelled, "Fuck off!" and drove away.

Wouldn't giving someone the finger and telling them to fuck off, wouldn't that be redundant?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007
posted by dave at 5:08 PM in category daily

Brown. Her eyes are brown.

That wouldn't have been my guess.

I'd have guessed hazel.

Sunday, March 25, 2007
posted by dave at 11:00 AM in category daily

I completely forgot!

But then I just now remembered!

Friday, I was sitting in the HR Block office waiting for my tax appointment, and SassyGirl called!

Yay!

She and JauntyGirl are doing fine. They're somewhere down South. Maybe Georgia? And they're walking The Appalachian Trail.

Also SassyGirl told me that she'd shaved her head and that, since her nickname was born because of her hair, that I should come up with a new nickname for her.

I told her that I'd think about it.

It was good to hear from her.

posted by dave at 10:48 AM in category daily, drink, entertainment

I hate how I've been putting off my beer reports lately. I've been putting them off for so long that I never get around to writing them. And then if I do decide to write them, they end up being a gazillion lines long.

Like this one will probably be. Oh well, can't be helped. I need these things to keep track of my own comings and goings. Like I don't have a fucking clue what I did last Saturday night.

Let's see. Friday night I went to this stupid Mac's place again to listen to NotHideousGirl sing karaoke. I had a couple Newcastles (3944) and a couple Blue Moons (448). All were good, but they were about the only things good about the night. I couldn't hear NotHideousGirl sing at all. I don't know if it was her, or if it was the noise in the place, or if it was the karaoke sound system being messed-up. I could hear the other singers, the ones who sucked, just fine though. So it was probably that NotHideousGirl sang too softly.

Then the entire night started to take on a sour note because women are weird and often mean. Plus, WeirdGirl started drunk-dialing me. The calls started out angry and, over the course of about a half-dozen calls, ended up being sad. Since the situation at Mac's had been rapidly deteriorating for an hour or so anyway, I left there and went to talk to WeirdGirl. I think we're okay now. She'd been hearing rumors and making assumptions. I straightened her out. The truth didn't exactly make her happy, but it wasn't nearly as bad as what she'd been thinking.

Anyway.

Saturday evening my friend Eric called to see what I was doing. It was his birthday, and he figured he'd be out later. So that was cool. It promised to distract me from the panic attack I was having, wondering if MixedSignalGirl was going to call about her CD.

I left home at about 6:00, and went over to Louisville. I went to The Pub and had a Newcastle (3964) and some cold fries and nuclear-hot chicken tenders. The place was really packed, and I got claustrophobic, so I didn't stay. I stopped by Hard Rock and talked to CoolHairGirl for a few seconds, but that place was packed with kids, so I went to Rich O's at 8:00 or so.

I was in a pretty shitty mood until I got to Rich O's. My mood got a lot better when I saw that TeamHotness was sitting out front. They always make a big deal out of seeing me because I'm so awesome.

Rich O's proper was full of mostly strangers, but the throne was open so I sat there and ordered an Urthel Samaranth Quadrium (56). I love that beer. Tried to talk to some of the weird people around me, but I didn't really have any luck until this one hot girl came in and sat on the arm of the loveseat. Our proximity pretty much required that we talk, so we did. I'll call her BBCGirl. She's nice.

At about the time I started my third Quadrium (76) things started happening at a rapid pace. OddlyFamiliarGirl came in and I talked to her for a bit. I also, as promised, put in a good word for Roger to her. I think my exact words were, "Roger says to put in a good word for him if I see you so, Yay Roger!"

I made sure to raise my hands in the air to add emphasis.

OddlyFamiliarGirl confessed to reading my journal, so that was weird. Hi, OddlyFamiliarGirl!

Then TeamHotness came into Rich O's proper and crammed in next to me and, for half of the team, on top of me. I really like those two, and I wish they'd come in more often.

Then, surprise!

HatGirl!

Yay!

She was a little grouchy because of the crowd I guess, but grouchy HatGirl is still a zillion times better than no HatGirl. LuckyFucker was with her of course, and this time he seemed to be the one in a decent mood. Wonders never cease. We three stood in the middle of the room for a bit, but when a couple of strangers finally left the sofa we moved back to that area. Then TeamHotness came in again and reminded me that I'm awesome.

Then my friend Eric showed up, and I made everyone sing Happy Birthday to him. I don't think he cried, but I'm sure he thought it was a nice thing to do.

There were no more seats available in the living room area, so Eric and I went up and sat at the island. HatGirl joined us there, and we just talked about various fluff for the next hour or so. Once HatGirl and LuckyFucker left, WomanRepellant joined us for a while.

I ended up drinking the rest of HatGirl's Quadrium (82). I think it was too strong for her. But, Yay for free beer!

Eventually, WomanRepellant left. Everyone left actually. Eric and I stayed and talked until the bartender kicked us out. Then I went to White Castle and then came home.

When I got home, I was still excited that I'd got to see HatGirl, so that's what the previous entry was for. Just letting off some extra steam.

posted by dave at 2:01 AM in category daily

Yay!

Saturday, March 24, 2007
posted by dave at 6:14 PM in category daily

Didn't want to call you or text you or email you. Didn't want to freak you out, not even for a second.

But I know you'll read this.

It turns out that I've got your 25 Romantic Classics CD here. Just the CD - I couldn't find the box for it.

Please let me know how and when you'd like it returned. Feel free to call if you want. I won't freak out.

Thursday, March 22, 2007
posted by dave at 5:30 PM in category daily

...most of the emails being sent to be are bouncing.

In fact, RockGirl tried to send me an email and it bounced back to her saying I didn't even exist.

Well I'm pretty sure that I exist, so I called my hosting company.

They grudgingly admitted that I might be having possible problems with email. Maybe.

They have also agreed to look into it.

UPDATE: Looks like I exist again. Whew!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007
posted by dave at 7:36 PM in category daily

So I bought NotHideousGirl a t-shirt from the Hard Rock in Indianapolis on Sunday night.

I then lugged that thing all the way home.

I then lugged it to work yesterday, then to The Pub during lunch.

NotHideousGirl didn't show yesterday, so I lugged it back to work and then back home.

Today I lugged it back to work, then back to The Pub at lunch.

At 12:20 or so, I figured that NotHideousGirl was going to be a no-show again.

It is, believe or not, quite difficult to look cool and carry a bright pink shirt around at the same time. So I came up with a new plan.

Instead of continuing to lug that t-shirt all over the place for a girl who, according to all available evidence, I was never going to see again as long as I lived, I decided that I'd carry the t-shirt another way.

Specifically, I'd wad it up and stuff it into the front of my pants.

That way, see, I could have my arms free for whatever random arm-requiring opportunities might arise. Plus, the new bulge in my pants would be sure to garner some long-overdue attention from the women of Louisville.

I figured that I'd change tactics. I'd make the t-shirt available to the first attractive woman who wanted it, but - and this is the fun part - I'd make her dive in and get it herself.

It was a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself. And I do.

But noooooooooooooooo!

Just about when the grin spreading across my face had reached its maximum evilness, NotHideousGirl showed up.

It was good to see her. Even though it meant the end of my evil/brilliant plan. I'm sure that I'll come up with other plans. Someday. Maybe.

Anyway, I gave NotHideousGirl her t-shirt, and we both laughed at the thought of her wearing pink, like an actual girl.

Then I moved on to more serious business.

You may remember that I tried, Sunday night during the drunk-dialing/drunk-answering fiasco, to apologize to NotHideousGirl for something I'd failed to do Friday night.

Well, today at lunch I apologized again.

And she said that, had I done that thing which I was apologizing for not doing, then she would have beaten the shit out of me.

So, anyway, whew!

posted by dave at 12:28 AM in category daily

So Sunday night, when I was about three beers deep into my evening, I drunk-dialed NotHideousGirl from the Hard Rock.

It was mostly just to see if she was feeling better than she'd been feeling Friday night.

Mostly.

I talked to her briefly. Asked her if she was feeling better. Asked her for her t-shirt size because I was about to buy her a pink Hard Rock t-shirt.

Pink!

That's hilarious, if you know NotHideousGirl.

I also apologized to her for something I didn't do on Friday. I kinda feel like I dropped the ball then. She took my apology with the grace and confusion that were to be expected.

Okay, then tonight I talked to her for a bit. Told her that I had her shirt, and that I was holding it hostage until she agreed to have lunch with me and not be freaked out over my semi-drunken apology.

She didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.

See, I'd drunk-dialed her Sunday night, but she'd drunk-answered me.

So now, I've got to go through the whole apology again.

I'll do it during lunch, when I know she's sober.

posted by dave at 12:07 AM in category daily

I've got so much to catch up on here. It's too much to try to tackle it all in one entry. For me to write it, and certainly for anyone to read the thing.

So I'll just do one subject at a time.

Back in the Fall, BadPickleGirl stole two of my favorite beer glasses. My Delirium Tremens glass, which had great sentimental value because its mate is with LaptopGirl, and my Gulden Draak glass, which was just a cool glass. Or maybe it was a Corsendonk Christmas Ale glass. Either way, cool glass.

Okay, so maybe saying she stole the things is stretching the truth a bit. How about if I say she used her feminine wiles to distract and hypnotize me, and thus caused me to leave those glasses at her house?

That's a little better. And, if you add the fact that she then dumped me so brutally that I became afraid to speak to her, let alone ask for my property back, well maybe that's a little more realistic.

Okay, so maybe she didn't brutally dump me. Maybe there was nothing to dump. Maybe I don't know what the fuck happened with her and/or us. What I do know is that (a) She stopped all contact with me, and (b) She still has my beer glasses.

Well, I'm nothing if not a problem solver.

My first, and most obvious choice, would be to be a man. To call BadPickleGirl and ask, nay, demand, that she return my beer glasses. And maybe that she sleep with me to make up for some of my pain and suffering.

I went in a different direction.

I bought some new glasses to replace the old ones.

I bought a new Delirium Tremens glass a couple of weeks ago, and I bought a new Gulden Draak glass this evening.

So, ha ha! That'll teach her. Or not.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007
posted by dave at 6:59 PM in category daily

When I came in, WeirdGirl was at the other end of the room. But of course I saw her right away.

I stuck my hand up and smiled at her. If, I figured, things were going to be weird between us, now would be the time to find out.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

So I did the exaggerated pouty lower lip thing.

She did it back to me.

Then after I sat at the bar she came and said "Hi" and asked how I was.

I said I was fine.

She said she was too.

So that was exciting I guess.

Monday, March 19, 2007
posted by dave at 11:00 PM in category daily, ramblings

One of the more obvious requirements for any person calling themselves a writer is also, at times, one of the most vexing. And, to be clear, blogging is writing. It just writing without any of those pesky assumptions of accuracy, or that annoying expectation of eloquence.

To be a writer, one must write.

Even if there seems to be nothing worth writing about, bloggers still have to come up with something, anything, on a fairly regular basis. Even if it's stupid.

Even if privacy concerns would demand complete silence, bloggers too often feel compelled to at least touch upon whatever, um, touchy subject is currently foremost in their head. So they'll often resort to crypticism and metaphors and little inside-jokes and innuendos. Or maybe they'll write about stupid and boring things and just pretend that the real topic doesn't even exist.

Such as I'm about to do right now.

See, there is something on my mind right now. A herd of related somethings, actually. And that herd has certainly beaten a path through my brain these past few days.

But, for now, I'm going to pretend that nothing unusual is happening. Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away.

Anyway, I am incredibly, inexplicably, still hung-over from Sunday night.

It's not that I drank a lot of beer Sunday night. Certainly no more than what is normal for me on any decent weekend night. I may be wrong, but I'd even guess that I had quite a bit less than normal.

Usually this is about where I'd start to list the beers that I had, but right now it seems too daunting a task. To actually open my notebook and transcribe my beer reviews. Ugh, the sound of rustling paper just might kill me. And I might like it.

I'm pretty sure that what I'd find in my notebook would be that I didn't drink a lot of beer. Nope, what I did was drink a little bit of a lot of different beers.

And that, apparently, was bad.

I'm sure I'll get to the specifics in a later entry.

If I live through this hangover.

Sunday, March 18, 2007
posted by dave at 11:44 AM in category daily, travel

I was just about going to write something about the last few nights, but I changed my mind.

Anything I might write would be either too boring or too cryptic.

Anyway, now I'm driving up to Indianapolis. Just for the night. I'll be coming home tomorrow.

Maybe the unfamiliar surroundings will stir my creative juices.

Saturday, March 17, 2007
posted by dave at 1:35 PM in category daily

So I'm back on the market now. Not that I was ever really off the market. Not officially. I just kinda sorta felt like being exclusive. You know, just in case.

This morning I went and met WeirdGirl at work, and told her that I didn't think we should see each other anymore.

She looked surprised for a second, then smiled and said, "That's fine."

I think that those two words pretty much sum up her entire personality. The girl's never been hurt, never had to climb her way out of anything, especially not a pit of despair. And she certainly wasn't about to fall into one over me.

I asked her if she wanted to know why, and she said, "Not really. It doesn't matter. It's not like we were going to get married or anything."

So that was painless.

Now all I've got to deal with is the possibility that I've turned into an asshole. I've been dealing with that possibility for years. You'd think I'd be better at it by now.

posted by dave at 3:08 AM in category daily, ramblings

"Perfectly understandable," people would say.

"Absolutely normal," they might add.

"Almost to be expected, even," some would chime in.

"Well, fuck that," I'd answer.

Not understandable for me. Not normal for me. And certainly not fucking expected of me, by me.

Now, tomorrow I've got to go do something. Not a big deal really. I mean, the doing of the thing won't be a big deal. But the reason for it, the reason for it pisses me off.

I piss me off.

She'll be fine. She will probably tell me that it's understandable. That I'm normal. She might even say that she expected this.

She'll let me off easy. But I won't.

I'd kick my own ass, if only I could bend that way.

Thursday, March 15, 2007
posted by dave at 6:59 PM in category daily

So now I'm off until Monday, so yay!

I put the word "so" in that sentence twice, didn't I?

I'm not going back and change it though. I mean, it's all the way up there.

Today was a decent day. Especially if you like cold horizontal rain first thing in the morning. And don't we all?

Apparently, some local college team participated in some kind of sporting event this afternoon. So everyone at work disappeared for three hours. Slackers. I guess the home team won, because there was much hooting and hollering. I hope they lose soon so everyone can get back to work.

Let's see, what else? Had lunch with NotHideousGirl. Spent a lot of my company's money. Paid my satelite and cable bills. Fed my cats. Took a shit.

I didn't say this would be an exciting entry.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007
posted by dave at 11:42 PM in category daily

Work really dragged today. Spent most of the day waiting for input from any of several directions. Input that never arrived. To make things worse, all day I had the sneaking suspicion that it was really Thursday, and that the universe had somehow managed to stick an extra Wednesday into the week just to fuck with me.

Lunch was okay. I talked to WeirdGirl for a bit, but not too much, as she was working. I'm not quite sure what's the deal with her/me/us, and I'm not going to ask. I'm thinking that maybe she should ask me. Also, I'd thought that NotHideousGirl was going to join me, She'd emailed me to say she was on her way, but then about 15 minutes later she reneged. Something about a heretofore unknown meeting where she works. Oh, well.

It was fucking stormy this afternoon. I hated having to be at work during that. I'd much rather have been at my house with a good beer watching the lightning. It would have been a nice way to spend a sneaky extra Wednesday.

Monday I have to be in Indianapolis first thing. So I'm thinking about driving up there Sunday and just spending the night. Actually I'm thinking about driving up there Saturday. But don't tell anyone.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007
posted by dave at 7:00 PM in category daily

Just got back from the store, where I purchased the following:

- Two pounds of ground chuck
- Two boxes of taco shells
- Two packs of finely shredded cheese
- Two packets of taco seasoning mix
- One bottle of shampoo

Okay, so the young cutie running the checkout scanned all this stuff through and, in a leap of deductive reasoning that would have made Arthur Conan Doyle proud, asked, "Are you making tacos?"

Now, as blown away by her intelligence as by her beauty, I nonetheless managed to regain some of my composure. She was a real treasure, this girl. And one I couldn't let get away.

"Wow," I stammered. "Beuty and brains? Where have yo bee all my life?"

Yes, I actually spoke with typos. I was that unsettled.

The beautiful genius blushed and said, "I've been right here since 5:00. You're not going to put the shampoo in the tacos, are you? I never heard of that."

Wednesday, March 7, 2007
posted by dave at 10:41 PM in category daily, general

A couple of days ago I read on The Dilbert Blog that Scott Adams used the Google Alerts service to keep tabs on what people are writing about him.

I'm familiar with the service. I use it myself. Basically, you tell Google what text to watch for, then when the service finds that text, it emails you with a link.

I use it to looks for my own name, my domain name, and the names of some people who are important to me. Scott Adams uses it to look for the words "Scott Adams Dilbert."

The cool thing is, that by typing that last sentence, I've triggered an email to be sent to Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert. Rich and famous Scott Adams.

That's the cool thing. The fucking cool thing is that, as Scott admits in his own blog, he carries his Blackberry in his pocket.

So, by typing that sentence up there a couple of paragraphs ago, there's a good chance that I've startled Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, and caused him to derail from whatever train of thought he might have been on.

Maybe he was thinking up his next comic. Maybe I messed that up. Maybe, because of me, it won't be nearly as funny as it would have been.

Or maybe, maybe I jolted him from an idea that was sort of funny to one that's absolutely fucking hilarious.

Maybe he'll be so grateful that he'll start paying me to derail his thought train every now and then.

So what if that lottery thing hasn't worked out? I've got a new retirement plan now.

posted by dave at 10:22 PM in category daily

So I suppose there's a chance that the next time you hear from me, I'll be dead.

Anyone, of course, can say that at any time. Nothing in life is guaranteed, not even life itself. Especially not life itself.

I have managed to royally fuck something up. Physically I mean. Something is not only not right, it's downright wrong.

But I don't know what it is. Maybe it's, as I thought this morning, just a pulled muscle in my back. Maybe I slept weird or something. But if that's all it is, well then it's the worst such case of soreness I've ever felt.

Now don't freak out (especially if you're one of my sisters) but today I fell to the floor in pain. Fucking twice. That brings the number of times I've done that in my life to two.

In other words, it fucking hurts.

In more words, a fucking lot.

Specifically, the pain is about halfway down the left side of my back. It hurts like a motherfucker right now, even as I sit here typing this sentence. Ouch.

So I can't help but wonder if maybe it's not just a pulled muscle caused by sleeping weird. I can't help but wonder if it's something worse. Maybe something that will kill me tonight after I (hopefully) drift off to an aspirin-induced slumber. Aspirin and Rogue Smoke (658), I mean.

Earlier tonight, I took a long hot bath. Even though I was at least a little bit afraid and/or certain that I wouldn't be able to get out of the tub when I was finished, it seemed to be worth the risk. The hot water did seem to help, for a while at least.

And it's not like I didn't take any precautions.

I made sure that the phone numbers for my friend Eric and my cousin Jeff were on speed-dial, and that my phone was right next to the tub. So if I couldn't get out of the tub I could call one of them for assistance. Because while I'm sure that my sisters love me and that they would drag my naked carcass out of the tub if necessary, that activity probably wasn't on their wish-list when they started their day.

But the hot water did make me feel a little better, and I did make it out of the tub my myself. I'm fucking Superman, apparently. Wait, that doesn't read right. I am most certainly not fucking Superman. How about I am Superman, apparently. Yeah, that's better.

(SCRIBBLERESQUE PARENTHETICAL ASIDE: I wonder if Supergirl's hymen is as indestructible as the rest of her. That would suck for her, and for any of her boyfriends. Better, I think, would be if she were like that chick on Heroes, where her hymen would just automagically repair itself whenever the need arose.)

Anyway, I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's just another sign of old age. All I know for sure is that it fucking hurts to be me right now.

Monday, February 26, 2007
posted by dave at 4:14 AM in category daily, pictures

Now this is exactly the kind of thing for which I wanted a camera in my phone!

thud

Sunday I was sitting at a red light, minding my own business, and there was suddenly a loud crash to my left.

The sign says "No left turn" and it seems a lot bigger when it's lying on the ground than it does when it's 20 feet in the air.

I bet it's a heavy fucker too.

I wish I'd been thinking more clearly. I could have jumped out of my truck and grabbed the sign. Then I could have mounted it in my basement or something.

There are way too many people making left turns in my basement.

Sunday, February 25, 2007
posted by dave at 9:53 PM in category daily, entertainment, ramblings

I sat down here a few minutes ago, thinking that I should probably do a weekend recap or some shit like that.

So here goes.

Saturday night I had a 1950s date with a nice girl I met Friday at lunch. After lunch actually. We did the 1950s dinner (Red Lobster) and a movie (Children of Men) thing. It was quite nice, and I think we actually like each other, but it's a bit too soon for me, and we both realized it at about the same time. I mean, I met her about two minutes after MixedSignalGirl ended our lunch date so abruptly.

Sunday I worked all damn day, then I took a five-hour nap.

Okay, that's my weekend recap. I never said it would be interesting.

Plus, I want to write about something else. Something that I started thinking and wondering about right after my nap.

Emotionally, I am about halfway shut down, I think. But realistically I should be much much worse. I want to be much worse.

I don't know if the events of the past couple of years have numbed me, or if maybe I just don't care about these new things as much as I'd have thought, or if maybe I'm still in denial.

I kinda hope it's only the denial thing.

Because I don't want to be numb. I paid too high a price to get my emotions back to have them come back neutered.

I don't want to be apathetic either.

I hope it's just denial, and I hope that someday soon reality will trample its way into my head and my heart and destroy me.

I don't want to be sort of sad. I want to be devastated and obliterated.

Weird, I know.

You know what? This subject is worthy of more creative ability than I can muster right now.

Maybe some other time.

Saturday, February 24, 2007
posted by dave at 9:55 AM in category daily, drink

I got ready to leave at 6:00 last night. I didn't know where I might be going, but I wanted to be ready. For when she called. Just in case she'd changed her mind.

Well, at about 9:30 I got tired of doing nothing but glare at my phone, so I went to Rich O's.

It wasn't too packed there. A bunch of regulars were sitting in the living room area. Strangers were everywhere else. I sat at the kiddie table and had a Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout (100). This was supposed to have been a Saturnalia beer, but it had arrived quite late. It arrived quite late last year too.

Oh yeah, SpoonsGirl and SirTalksALot were sitting in the red room. I talked to them briefly when I first arrived.

Anyway.

Once a spot opened up on the sofa I moved over there.

It was boring, and when my phone finally vibrated at me I welcomed the diversion.

I went outside to talk to MixedSignalGirl. It was not a fun conversation, but it needed to happen. After all, moving on is what I've been trying to do for months. It's only reasonable for her to want to do the same thing. So, no more lunch dates. No more semi-planned meetings. Only happy accidents will be allowed from now on.

Speaking of moving on, I left Rich O's at 10:30 or so and went over to Hard Rock. I'd met a girl there yesterday, and she'd said that she might be there with her friends later. Well she wasn't there, but that's okay. I'm taking her to the 1950s tonight. At least that's the plan. I'm kinda being a pessimist.

I overslept this morning. I was supposed to be in Louisville at 10:00 to watch EllaGirl and 1000 other weirdoes jump into the Ohio River for some Special Olympics thing. But it's 9:54 as I type this sentence, so I don't think I'm going to make it. I'll go see EllaGirl at work in a couple of hours and see if she's still alive and, if so, what shade of blue she is.

Thursday, February 22, 2007
posted by dave at 7:34 PM in category daily, drink, pictures

I had fun today.

First, I overslept. So that was cool.

Then at lunch - Newcastle (3334) - I ran into NotHideousGirl. First time I've seen her since HatGirl's birthday party in December. So that was way cool.

Then we went to Borders so she could buy some CDs. This was about as useful as taking a blind man to the paint store, but I went anyway.

Oh yeah, I got a new Blackberry yesterday, and guess what.

It's got a camera!

Yay!

First time I've had a camera phone in months.

NotHideousGirl was kind enough to let me test the camera on her, and post the results here.

still not hideous

So that was fun. It was a little strange to leave a bookstore without any books though.

Then, after work, I went to the local hardware store to buy a bunch of PVC shit for my sink. I figured that I'd go ahead and give it a try, and then if I screwed it up Kenny could always come and laugh at me as he corrected my mistakes.

Well, I managed to twist the PVC stuff around enough so that now I have actual drains running from my sink. I also managed to install and wire up the new garbage disposal without killing myself.

Anyway, here's the old ugly sink.

hideous

And here's the new sink. Ta da!

Ohhhh! Ahhhh!

Just so none of you people start to think I'm infallible, here's what's under the new sink.

leaking

Those bowls are because the new drain lines leak. Not very much, but enough to be annoying. So I called Kenny and apparently I need some Plumber's Putty to put between the sink and the traps. Either Kenny or I will get some of that, we'll tear everything apart and reinstall using the putty where appropriate, and then this project will be done!

Except that I think I need Kenny to use one of those snake thingies on the drain line that goes into the wall. Everything still drains pretty slowly.

And the garbage disposal works too! Nugget is scared of it.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007
posted by dave at 3:54 PM in category daily

The bank thing was because they lowered the daily limit from $1000 to $500.

"It's because of identity theft," they said.

"Maybe I need to find a new bank," I said.

Then I wrote out a check for enough cash to buy the sink and stuff.

Then I got a haircut. Then I got my new driver's license. Then I went to Lowe's.

Then I came home and took out the old sink, and did what I could with the new stuff. Which means that I attached the new faucet to the new sink, and I installed the new sink in the counter, and I hooked up the supply lines, and I put the drain thingies in the sink - including the one for the new disposal.

Now I'm waiting for Kenny to come here and (a) tell me what I did wrong, (b) fix the things I did wrong, (c) put all the drain lines in, and (d) do the wiring for the disposal.

I have no idea when I might expect him. I don't even know if it will be today. Until then I'll have to remember not to use that sink.

---

You ever just want to fucking strangle someone? Or knock some sense into them?

Yeah well me too. Metaphorically of course.

---

I'm starving. Nothing sounds good though.

---

It's really warm outside. My heat pump has actually shut off. First time in weeks that it's been this quiet in this house.

posted by dave at 8:19 AM in category daily, drink

I was going to write a Monday beer report, but there's not much to write about, so I'll just cram that stuff at the beginning of this entry.

I had a half a Smithwick's (1454). I'd been planning to have a full pint but the keg blew when it was only halfway poured.

There were some people there. I didn't talk much. Mostly I just listened to everyone else.

Then I had two bottles of Delirium Tremens (858). Then I came home.

Ta da!

---

Today I've got a bunch of shit to do. So I'm taking a day of vacation.

I've got to go to my bank and try to find out why my card was denied twice over the weekend.

If the bank thing gets straightened out, I want to try the whole buy a kitchen sink thing again. Just maybe not at Lowe's. Depends on what the bank says.

I desperately need to get a haircut.

My driver's license expires at midnight, so I need to get a new one. First I have to find out where the BMV moved to. They're not over by Kelsey's anymore.

It seems like there's something that I'm forgetting.

posted by dave at 12:00 AM in category daily

Happy birthday to me!

Yay?

Monday, February 19, 2007
posted by dave at 5:41 PM in category daily, drink

So I chickened out. There was just no way that I could justify the risk versus the reward.

If HatGirl forgot my birthday I'd probably have been devastated and cried for a month. If she didn't forget my birthday, well then I'd have just been relieved.

So the risk of devastation was not worth the reward of relief.

I decided to fuck the risk. I called HatGirl and reminded her ass that tomorrow is my birthday before she'd have a chance to forget.

Then there was some phone juggling and I ended up having lunch with MixedSignalGirl. She's already having lunch with me Friday, so today was a big bonus for me.

Everything was nice and pleasant. Not a whole lot of tension between us anymore. I'd had a mild panic attack about ten minutes before she showed up, but I was fine after that.

Then EllaGirl decided to mess with us. She came over and, right in front of MixedSignalGirl, told me that she thought I'd left my hat in her apartment the other night.

Not cool.

This was, of course, utter bullshit. I only wear hats when I'm in disguise. So I sort of wondered out loud how many other guys it could belong to. Then EllaGirl stomped away.

EllaGirl deserved that for trying to stir up shit.

But MixedSignalGirl is a class act all the way. She didn't even bat an eye. She asked me if that was the famous EllaGirl, I said it was indeed, and that was it.

Oh yeah, during lunch I had a Newcastle (3304).

After MixedSignalGirl went back to work, I stayed and had a half-glass of Newcastle (3314) and talked to EllaGirl for a bit to see what her problem was. She acted like it was perfectly normal to go up and intrude like that. She said she was just being nosey, not possessive. I'm just glad that I wasn't on a first date with someone.

All this female interaction got me to missing BadPickleGirl, so I sent her an email of some cute animals. I'm not really expecting a response, but it would be a nice birthday present.

Sunday, February 18, 2007
posted by dave at 2:18 PM in category daily, pictures

Every now and then I'll get a bug up my butt about my house.

There are about a zillion things that I hate about this house. Cosmetic stuff mostly. But back when I bought the place, I was making a lot more money, so I figured I'd just throw cash at the ugliness and make it all go away.

But no! Once the Internet bubble burst, I had to get a real job, at substantially less pay.

And so the ugliness remains.

Flowery wallpaper.

Yikes!

Gross!

Striped wallpaper.

Barf!

Grotesque light fixtures.

Shit!

Aaaaaah!

Eeeeek!

Brown shag carpeting.

Puke!

Hideous cabinets and countertops.

Hideous!

Ugh. Even all the dark brown doors and trim are ugly and dated.

Ugly!

And I didn't even show you the light fixture in my bedroom, or the floor in my bathroom or bedroom, or the painted wall in my downstairs bathroom. Had I posted pictures of those things, I'd probably have been shut down for running an obscene website. And I didn't want to take that chance.

Anyway.

Friday I got this bug up my butt to do something, anything to reduce the ugliness.

So I decided to replace my kitchen sink and faucet. While I was at it, I figured, I'd get a garbage disposal too.

Yesterday, I had my sister's husband Kenny over to look at my sink area and tell me what I'd need to buy. He's a professional Mr. Fixit.

Then I went to Lowe's and spent an hour or so picking out stuff that (a) looked cool, and (b) wasn't laughably expensive.

Did you know that there are $600 kitchen faucets? That's just ridiculous to me. Who needs a fucking $600 kitchen faucet?

So I piled all the shit in my cart and, when I went to pay for it, they declined my card.

I became a little concerned. There certainly should have been money in my account. I mean, Thursday was payday I hadn't taken any money out for at least a week.

But oh well. I figured that I'd call my bank on Monday and see what the deal was. I apologized to the checkout girl and went home.

Then last night I had the brilliant idea that maybe they'd declined my card because they'd tried to run it through as debit instead of credit. The card can be charged either way, but there's a $200 daily limit on debit transactions.

So I went back to Lowe's today. I picked out all the same shit I'd picked on Saturday.

This time I told them to run it through as credit instead of debit.

It fucking came back declined again.

Fuck!

After I'd apologized to the second checkout girl in as many days, I left scratching my head. What if something was going on with my checking account?

I needed to find out. So I went to my bank, and did a balance inquiry at the ATM thingy.

There's almost $3000 in my account right now. That seems about right to me.

The shit I was trying to buy was $580 or something like that.

Now I'm no math whiz, but I'm pretty sure that $580 is less than $3000. I'm also pretty sure that $580 is less than the $1000 daily limit on credit transactions.

So I don't know what's going on. All I know for sure is that everything in my house is still ugly. Including my kitchen sink.

Thursday, February 15, 2007
posted by dave at 4:00 PM in category daily

Today HatGirl sent me a picture of her ear.

I know what you're thinking.

What a strange thing for HatGirl to do!

Yes, well she had her reasons. But that's not the point I wanted to make with this entry.

The point I wanted to make was that, when you print out a picture and lick it, it doesn't taste very good.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
posted by dave at 6:38 PM in category daily

So my friend RockGirl is stuck smack in the middle of this Winter storm. You know, the one where Mother Nature flipped me the bird with both hands and gave me nothing but rain while she dumped assload after assload of snow everywhere else.

I sent RockGirl an email earlier today, asking if she was dead.

She didn't respond, so I guess she's not dead, so whew!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007
posted by dave at 11:59 PM in category daily

Somebody be my damn valentine!

Before I do something stupid.

Please.

posted by dave at 12:01 AM in category daily

Not that it really matters. I'm just a little surprised. But I found some stuff out today.

You only knew each other for a few months before he joined the Army. And as far as I know, after your fumbling attempts to date, the only times you saw each other were when I was there with you. Shit, I think Eddie was screwing that one chick non-stop for about six months before he left. What was her name? Linda or Lindsey or some shit like that? I can't remember, but she works at my bank now. She did the paperwork for my home loan. She didn't remember me from the old days.

But I digress.

I'm pretty sure that you two never hooked up when I was still around. It must have been after. After I'd left for basic training, Eddie must have come home on leave or something. He must have looked you up, or maybe he just happened to run into you at the floodwall or at some party.

You probably got to talking about the good old days, and something happened between you two. I wonder who made the first move. Probably you, I'm guessing.

And now you've been married for over 20 years, and have two grown children with him.

Pretty weird. But it explains why I never saw either one of you again. Because you were ashamed.

I'm not sad. I'm not even angry. It's not like I just lost a friend and a girlfriend. I lost you both a long time ago. It's just that now I finally know why. So that's good. Mystery solved.

If anything, I'm a little miffed that I didn't get the chance to find out, to be angry, back when it first happened. That's a lesson that, had I learned it a little earlier in my life, that might have sent me on a completely different path.

Plus, I had you first, and that's hilarious to me. I wonder, back in the beginning, when what you did with Eddie could still have been seen as cheating on me, I wonder how many times you called out my name by mistake.

I wonder if you still call out my name, every now and then. You know, just to keep him on his toes.

'Cause he needs to be on his toes. He married a whore, after all.

Sunday, February 11, 2007
posted by dave at 10:01 PM in category daily, ramblings

Did a shitload of driving around today. I just needed to get away from this damn house for a while. Now, I'm thinking that coming back here might have been a mistake, but it's too late now. I'm already here.

Anyway, I know what I want now.

Remember the movie Deep Impact? Near the end, after the small comet fragment hit, there was a huge traffic jam of people who'd been trying to get to high ground. The tsunami was rushing up to engulf them, and Lt. Yar and Attendant Mavek knew that they were going to die. Soon. They faced each other, and they gazed into each others' eyes. So that the last sight that either of them would see would be the adoring eyes of the person that they loved.

That's what I fucking want.

I want to find someone who will love me as I love her, someone who'd choose to spend her last moments gazing into my eyes while I gazed into hers. Hands intertwined. Breathing synchronized. Existing together as one heart, one soul. The world irrelevant.

And, if the world doesn't happen to end when such a perfect moment arrives, well that would be even better.

Saturday, February 10, 2007
posted by dave at 9:50 AM in category daily

I got this book about blogging here, and it says that I should write something first thing in the morning. To get it out of the way.

Problem is, of course, that nothing interesting has happened yet today, and I won't be able to recall with any accuracy the events of last night (such as they were) for several hours.

So I could write about the piss I took when I first stumbled out of bed, or I could write nothing.

I choose the latter. You may thank me if you wish. I accept gratitude in most of the standard forms, though I prefer cash delivered by beautiful naked women.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007
814
posted by dave at 7:46 PM in category daily

That's how many gallons of snot have left my nose since yesterday afternoon.

About 700 of those gallons have, thankfully, left through one or more nostrils. But the rest have drained backwards into my throat and sent me into wild coughing fits.

How can the human body generate this much snot? Well it's a fucking medical miracle, that's what it is.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007
posted by dave at 10:30 PM in category daily

(continued from a couple of entries ago)

After a couple of seconds, I guess a little tiny sense of familiarity crept into my head. I began to feel that I should know who this cocky loud pretty girl was, but I had no real chance to investigate that feeling because that's when her friend finally spoke.

"What are you doing?" she asked the blonde. And then she said her name.

She said her name, and a door inside my head creaked open, and I remembered.

I remembered a party, in Hancock's field, a long time ago. I remembered waking up in the back of my parents' Mercury Comet, wearing only my underwear and a jacket. I remembered digging through the trash on the floorboards, looking for my keys and my shoes and my pants and my shirt. I remembered finding all those things, and I remembered also finding a little blue sock, and one of those hair barrette thingies, and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and an empty condom wrapper.

I remembered going to a basketball game at school a couple of weeks later, and being greeted like an old friend by a cute blonde girl wearing a Providence High School Jacket. Being greeted like more than a friend actually.

I remembered confessing that I didn't remember meeting her, being with her, at all. That I'd woken up in the back of my car alone and confused and unclothed. I remembered how she laughed that off, and how she'd said that she'd have to try harder to be memorable the next time.

I remembered that the next time started about fifteen minutes later, in my cousin Jeff's station wagon.

I remembered countless nights after that, sneaking out of my house with my friend Eddie. I remembered that he'd drop me off at where she worked, or to where she lived. I remembered lying on her bed, holding hands and listening to Pink Floyd. I remembered doing a lot of other things in her bed.

I remembered the night she told me that she loved me, and how I'd echoed those words right back at her. I remembered how we started to tell people that we were engaged. That as soon as my basic training was over, and I was stationed at my first base, we'd get married and raise kids and we'd always laugh about how, on the night we'd met, I was too drunk to even remember her.

I remember how everyone said we were crazy.

I remembered how she'd come to the Air Force induction center to see me off. I remembered holding her close and telling her that I'd see her again in a few short weeks, and that we'd be together from that moment on.

I remembered that I'd never seen her again.

Not for more than 23 years.

Until lunch today.

So once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I just looked at her. I had no idea what to say, what to ask, what to feel. She saved the day by doing all the talking. She's been married for a long time. She has two grown children. She still loves Pink Floyd, and she still has most of The Wall memorized. I stammered out that I do too.

She said that I hadn't changed a bit, which was a beautiful lie. I said that she hadn't changed either, and as proof I offered up the fact that it had taken me so long to remember her.

We didn't discuss what had happened, back in 1983. Why she'd moved. Where she'd gone. There wasn't time for any of that, and there wasn't really a need for any of that. We were each others' distant past, and that was all that we were.

As I gave her a hug and said goodbye, I wondered if it would be another 23 years before I saw her again. I wondered if I'd do a better job of remembering her in 23 years. I wondered if I'd even remember my own name in 23 years.

Anyway, I guess that makes it official. I have officially run out of women. Time to dig out that little black book from high school, and start over.

posted by dave at 6:33 PM in category daily

Stubib code-ass wedder.

posted by dave at 5:41 PM in category daily

This is kinda cool to me.

I was sitting at The Hard Rock in Louisville for lunch. I usually go to The Pub, but it was too crowded today, plus I wanted some potato skins.

Anyway, I was sitting at the bar, and down about four or five seats from me were two hot girls. A short-haired blonde and a long-haired brunette. Both pretty, but in very different ways. One sexy and sultry, the other perky and vivacious.

So I spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out which one was the hotter of the two. I know, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

I kept glancing over there, getting no closer to making up my mind as to which was hotter, and eventually the blonde caught me looking. She kind of smiled. I smiled back, then turned back to my food, 'cause I'm all shy and shit. I could see out of the corner of my eye that both girls were now looking at me, though I couldn't hear what they were saying. Probably arguing over which of them was hotter, I figured.

I'd just about decided to stage a kissing contest between them when the blonde spoke to me.

"You kept looking over here at us for a half-hour, and now you've suddenly stopped. What's up with that?" she asked in a not very nice way.

"Well," I said. "I was trying to decide which of you would be my new girlfriend, but now I've made up my mind and I don't have to look any more."

"Oh really?" the blonde said. She was smiling, so she was at least slightly amused.

"Yep," I said. "You're both very pretty, but I'm thinking that you're not very nice, so I choose your friend."

"You sure know how to hold a grudge," the blonde said.

Hold on a second. That didn't make any sense.

"Huh?" I asked. 'Cause I'm all eloquent and shit.

"Don't you remember me?" the blonde asked. "Look closely. Don't you know who I am?"

She then got up and walked over to me and stuck her face right in front of mine.

(to be continued)

Sunday, February 4, 2007
posted by dave at 11:16 AM in category daily, drink

First, I went down to Rich O's at a little after 3:00. They're having an art show in the special people section, and I wanted to buy one of NotHideousGirl's paintings if there were any still available. The one that I wanted was still for sale, so I snapped it up.

I had myself a Wostyntje (209) and looked at the rest of the art. It was nice to see that MisunderstoodGirl had also sold a painting.

I'd planned on heading straight over to Louisville after I left Rich O's, but like an idiot I'd left my Blackberry at home. This always cause for concern, but yesterday it was especially so because I'm on-call this weekend. So I went back home and dicked around for an hour or so, then I went over to Louisville. With my Blackberry this time.

After a quick meal, I went to The Pub. I had a couple Newcastles (3224) and talked to a couple of the bartenders. The place was pretty dead, but it was still fairly early. next I walked over to The Hard Rock. It was packed as fuck with birthday parties for screaming teenagers. That, plus the fact that CoolHairGirl wasn't working, kept me from staying there.

So I went down to The Red Star, and there were only like three customers. I told the cute bartender that it looked like they'd had a fire drill or something. I didn't stay there.

I walked through the alley to this Third Street Dive place that I'd gone to with EllaGirl last weekend. That place was dead too, but the HotLibrarian bartender assured me that it would pick up by 10:00. I had a glass of BBC Jefferson's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout (390) and looked at some weirdoes.

After a while, EllaGirl came in. She jokingly gave me some shit about ditching her last weekend. I explained my reasons. All was forgiven, and we moved over and sat at a little kiddie table. I had another Stout (406) and we talked and flirted and did various other things until a really loud band started playing. Then EllaGirl suddenly said that she was going to go clean her apartment, and to give her my number so I could come over after it was cleaned. I assured her that I didn't care how messy her place was, but she insisted.

So I gave her my number and she left.

I was pretty sure that she was going to flake on me, so I went back to The Pub. It was much more crowded by then. A bunch of hot girls and a bunch of yuppies trying to pick them up. I had a couple Diet Cokes, and a small sample of something new for me:

Belhaven Twisted Thistle IPA (4)

(draft) I'd never have guessed that this was an IPA. The aroma was mostly of malt and dirt, but good. Flavor was a little peaty and a little smoky. No bitterness. I liked it a lot more than I expected to.
Right at the time I finished my second Diet Coke, EllaGirl called. I went over. Her apartment was clean. We spent the night distracting each other from our lives.

And I don't feel guilty at all. Yet.

Thursday, February 1, 2007
posted by dave at 7:35 PM in category daily, weather

I got an email from SassyGirl this morning. She hinted that she and JauntyGirl may be coming back soon. I don't know if it would be for a visit or to stay for good though.

Either way, yay!

---

Last night we got what I'm sure will go down in history as The Blizzard of '07. I got a whole 3/4" of snow at my house. And, as if nature hadn't already tortured us enough, they're forecasting another inch tonight. Good thing I've got four-wheel-drive on my truck.

---

My kitchen sink is pretty close to being completely clogged. As of about a half-hour ago, I've dumped about 15 gallons of Drano into the thing over the last couple of months. End result: Nothing.

It may be time to get a plumber in here with one of those snake thingies.

---

Last June Rich O's held a beer festival in my honor, called DaveFest. I might have mentioned it here. With that honor, as it turns out, I get some responsibility too. I'm one of three judges deciding who gets to have the next Rich O's customer appreciation festival. So I've got these essays to read through. Then we judges will get together and try to pick a winner.

It would be a lot simpler if they'd just have DaveFest every year.

---

Yesterday I talked to this girl during lunch who looked almost exactly like Sarah Silverman. In other words, hot. In even more words, fucking smoldering hot.

I got her number, but when I called her today she flaked-out on me.

There's a lot of flaking going around lately.

---

Tonight, unless I chicken out, I'm going to eat ground beef. In yummy taco form. This will be the first time I've had ground beef since my explosive illness the second week of January.

---

I guess that's it.

Sunday, January 28, 2007
posted by dave at 10:32 PM in category daily, drink, weather

I don't remember much about Friday night. I'd been deprived of a nap by some unsettling news. I remember that Rich O's was crowded as fuck, and that I had some Wostyntje (149), and that I left early.

---

On Saturday, well at least she called. To tell me that she wouldn't be able to accompany me. Even though it was a negative RSVP, it was still was very nice and considerate of her, and it kept me from thinking that she might be a bitch or something. So that's good. I don't like thinking bad thoughts about people.

---

Plan B was DooRagGirl, but she was, understandably, hesitant to attend a party where she wouldn't know anyone but me. I am, apparently, not good enough on my own. Oh well. Story of my life, right there.

---

I had no real plan C, so I decided that I wouldn't be attending the party at all. Instead I was going to go to Louisville and hang out there for a while. Maybe talk to CoolHairGirl and see if she'd liked the Newcastle she'd finally tried.

But nooooooooooooooo!

I got a text message from HatGirl, leting me know that they were going to Rich O's.

So I went to Rich O's, where I sat with HatGirl (yay!) and LuckyFucker. He was being a dick for some reason. I don't know why. I had myself a couple glasses of Wostyntje (169) and talked to HatGirl about what lousy drivers we used to be.

After the happy couple left, I talked with DooRagGirl for an hour or so. I had another Wostyntje (179). I really like that beer. Plus, it's nice and light. I seem to have some kind of mental block about dark and heavy beers. Ever since my illness. That, and ground beef. Ugh.

Anyway.

Once DooRagGirl left, I became concerned that some weird people were going to try to talk to me, so I left too.

(Note: I have been working on being more sociable. It just doesn't seem to work very well at Rich O's.)

----

So I went over to Louisville. CoolHairGirl wasn't working, so I didn't get to see her. I went over to the pub and got to talking with EllaGirl. She actually remembered my name this time, so that was cool. After a while, we all went to this little dive bar so everybody could unwind. It was okay I suppose, but I'd cut myself off hours ago, so I could only sit and watch while EllaGirl and her friends got shitfaced while I drank Diet Cokes.

At 3:30 or so, I came home alone. By choice.

---

On Sunday, I didn't do much except play pool and watch a couple of movies. I watched Sleepy Hollow. HatGirl had told me before that she looks like Christina Ricci, but she's wrong. Christina Ricci fucking wishes that, on her best day, she looked a gazillionth as pretty as HatGirl looks on her worst day.

---

Sunday night I had one of the beers that I purchased the other day.

Unibroue Trois Pistoles (25)

(bottle) Black, revealing amber only when strongly backlit. Huge creamy head. Aroma of oak and malty apples and cherries. Flavor is like the aroma, only better. There's something else there, maybe grapes of all things. Pretty damn yummy.
---

Oh yeah, it's freaking cold here. It's supposed to get down to single digits tonight, with a wind chill of minus 8,000,000 or some crap like that. Also, it snowed all morning, but there's not even a light dusting. What a waste of cold weather. I hate Winter.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007
posted by dave at 11:40 PM in category daily

Today I was eating lunch, and these two hot girls came in to The Pub. Because I'm trying to work on my friendliness, plus I like to meet women, I waved at them from across the bar. Even though I'd never seen them before. Hey, you never know, right?

The more exotic girl didn't even see me, but the girl with the flowing dark hair, that girl gave me a weird look and kind of stuck her hand up at me in a semi-acknowledgement. A pseudowave.

I watched them eat together. The girl who'd pseudowaved at me was just so lively, and so pretty, and so expressive, and so happy. I developed a ginormous crush on her. She was just fascinating to look at, even though she was sitting at least twenty yards away from me, and I had to squint a little.

Every now and then she'd catch me looking at her, and then she'd either give me another pseudowave or she'd smile or something.

After about a half-hour, she went to the bathroom and then when she came out she walked right up to me and said, "Hi. Do I know you from somewhere?"

What I was supposed to say was the truth. That I'd only waved at her because she was pretty and I wanted to meet her. That meeting her had become my goal for the day. That I'd have loved a chance to talk to her and get to know her.

But that's not what I said.

What I said was, "I'm sorry, when you first came in I thought you were someone else. My mistake."

Why would I say such a thing? A beautiful girl smiles at me, and waves at me, and then walks up and talks to me, and I blow her off?!?

What kind of pickup artist am I, anyway?

Well, I'd been thinking, as I watched her eat with her friend. Thinking is, of course, always a bad idea. But I'd been doing it anyway.

I'd been thinking about how much she reminded me of MixedSignalGirl when we'd first started going out. And of MixedSignalGirl the last few times I'd seen her. And how starkly those beginning and end times had contrasted with all the times in between. I'd been thinking about how I'd made MixedSignalGirl so sad, and I'd been thinking about how the last thing I'd ever want to do would be to do the same thing to this pretty girl with the incredible smile and the flowing dark hair. Turn her into some brooding and sulking thing.

It would have been an unforgivable sin.

I'd been thinking that I couldn't do it. That I'd gotten lucky once. MixedSignalGirl had recovered. I had no way of knowing what harm I'd cause this new girl, if I were given that opportunity. How permanent that harm might be.

So, I blew her off.

And she accepted my explanation. And she walked away smiling. I hope that her life keeps her smiling for a very long time.

Friday, January 19, 2007
posted by dave at 2:08 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

Wednesday was a pretty good day. Thursday wasn't so great. A couple of people in my life got some disturbing news, and I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do. Or say. Or feel. Please note that these instances are completely unrelated to my previous entry. In that case, I know exactly what I should do, which is nothing.

After work, I went by Rich O's to have their Old Lightning Rod beer (170). They only have this available in January. It's some kind of tribute to Ben Franklin. I wish they'd have it on all the time because it's one of the best beer they've ever made there.

When I got home, I was supposed to just take a nap, but I slept right through my alarm. My two-hour nap ended up being a six-hour sleep. So now it's almost 2:00 and I'm wide awake.

I kept a schedule like this on purpose for a while. I actually liked it. The solitude I got from just being at home always seemed to be magnified in the middle of the night, and I liked it.

Now, not so much. I don't know what's changed. I guess there's a fine line between solitude and loneliness, and at some point over the past few months I've crossed that line.

Oh, well.

Maybe I'll read a book. One of the Heinlein juveniles. They're nice quick reads.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007
posted by dave at 6:59 PM in category daily

Today was a good day!

It's RockGirl's birthday! Happy Birthday, RockGirl!

Yay!

I got an email from SassyGirl! I hadn't heard shit from her since she fled the country in September, but today I got an email!

Yay!

I got an email from BadPickleGirl! And then later I got to talk to her!

Yay!

Saturday, January 13, 2007
posted by dave at 1:58 PM in category daily

...I totally forgot to write about the other cool thing that happened last Friday night.

The first, and coolest by far, thing was getting to see MixedSignalGirl again. But the second thing was kinda neat too.

I got to the parking garage for Louisville's Fourth Street Live at 7:00 or so. I got there early because (a) I was hungry, and (b) I was bored at the tournament.

So I took the stairs down to ground level and just when I walked by the elevator some lazy people got out of it.

One of the girls was very hot and, more than that, she looked really familiar to me. I mean really familiar, if you know what I mean. Hint hint. Nudge nudge.

Anyway, I ended up behind the people at the ID-checking line, and then I walked around them to go to The Red Star Tavern. All along the way I wracked my brain trying to figure out who the hot girl had been.

Then, I was sitting at the bar at The Red Star, and she came in with her group.

Since I had a few minutes to kill while I waited for my food to arrive, I stared at the hot girl and tried to remember who she was and how many times I'd boinked her.

Finally, I figured it out.

I'd never boinked her. She was one of my cousins!

My third-cousin, actually. At least I think that's the way it works. Her mom and my dad were first-cousins, so her mom would be my second-cousin, and that would make the hot girl my third cousin. I think.

So, when she walked into my general vicinity, I asked her if she was who I thought she was.

She was indeed. Took her a second to recognize me though. She probably thought I was just some creep trying to hit on her. Well, I wasn't. I was some third-cousin trying to hit on her.

Plus, she'd never seen me all evil and shit before. Plus, I hadn't seen her since my grandfather's funeral back in 1991. The reason that I'd remembered her so easily was that she was hot, and I'd had a crush on her back in school.

We'd graduated the same year. She's aged even better than I have, if you can believe that.

We chatted for a minute or two, then she went back to her group. One of them is probably her husband. I hate him.

It's okay to lust after third-cousins, right?

Friday, January 12, 2007
posted by dave at 6:21 PM in category daily

Hopefully this is the saddest news I'll hear today.

I've written before, here and here, about Dino, my neighbor's dog. The last time I mentioned him was last month. I'd been talking to my neighbor's daughter, and she'd told me that Dino was feeling his age quite a bit, and that he'd probably be gone soon.

I told myself then that, the next time I saw lounging in his yard, I'd walk over to see him.

I never did see him, so I never took that walk.

And now it's too late.

My neighbor told me this morning that she'd had poor Dino put down. His arthritis had progressed to the point where he couldn't even walk anymore, and he was in constant pain. And now his pain is over.

I'm sad. He was the first living creature to greet me after I moved into this house. I'd been out shoveling snow and he came running across the street at me. I remember thinking for a second that he was going to attack me or something, but all he wanted to do was try to catch the flung snow before it hit the ground.

To anyone driving by that day, I must have looked like a real asshole, throwing shovelful after shovelful of snow at that dog. But I couldn't have missed him if I'd tried, and he had fun, and so did I.

He was a good boy.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007
posted by dave at 8:36 PM in category daily

...I'm still alive.

I even felt good enough to go to work today. But then people started talking about food, and one guy even *gasp* started eating food right in front of me.

I got sick again, and came home.

Supposedly there was something in the paper this morning about this stomach flu that's going around. I guess some people are vomiting up to twenty times a day. Well I don't think I quite hit that mark on Sunday, but I wasn't really counting.

And right now, right now I feel fine.

I'm actually hungry. I found some crackers, and the thought of actually eating them isn't making me queasy. I might just get brave and try a couple.

Meanwhile, I've lost almost two belt notches since this started Saturday night.

Sunday, January 7, 2007
posted by dave at 10:38 AM in category daily

Did you know that guys can have an Aunt Flo too?

Well, they can. And do. She just doesn't visit guys with the regularity that she imposes on women.

Think about it.

My Aunt Flo and my Uncle Ralph paid me a surprise visit last night.

I don't know if I've got food poisoning, or if there's some stomach flu going around that I haven't heard about, or what. I think that just about the only thing I know for sure, right now, is that Pepto Bismol doesn't work if you can't keep it down for more than ten seconds.

I feel like crap. I feel like puke.

And speaking of... I gotta end this entry.

Saturday, January 6, 2007
posted by dave at 11:08 AM in category daily

She and three of her friends came in together. I saw her immediately, mainly because I was watching the door. I always watch the door in that place. I don't think she saw me.

They went straight to the bathroom to fix their hair or check their makeup or whatever girls do in there together. I like to think that they practice kissing on each other, like in the movie Cruel Intentions. That was hot.

I hadn't seen or even talked to MixedSignalGirl in months. I had no idea what to expect. The last time I'd talked to her, we hadn't been on very good terms. She'd pretty much freaked out on me. For good reason.

I then spent a few minutes trying to decide whether I should leave before they came out. I also thought about being sneaky and calling her from someplace where I could see the reaction on her face. Or maybe I'd buy the girls a round of drinks from "the gentleman at the bar" so I could see her reaction when she saw that it was me and not really a gentleman.

But what happened instead was that she tried to sneak around behind me when she left the bathroom. I pretended that I didn't see her. She came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and put her lips up against my ear and whispered, "Guess who."

"Grandma?" I ventured.

"Wrong," was the whispered response. She licked my ear.

"Definitely Marilyn," I said with certainty. Marilyn is MixedSignalGirl's mom.

"Wrong, but funny," she answered.

"Miss, I saw you come in," I said. "But I'll keep making wrong guesses if you promise to keep licking my ear."

She removed her hands. I saw uninterrupted soft skin on all ten fingers. Whew!

I turned around and gave her a long hug and a quick kiss. Man, it was good to see her! She looked fantastic, and I told her as much.

By this time, her friends were looking at us in horror from their booth.

She asked me if I wanted to come over and join them, but she knew that I wouldn't do it. Crowds aren't my thing. Crowds are even less my thing when most of the people in it would just as soon slap me as look at me. So I declined. She didn't insist.

So I stayed at the bar and she went to join her friends. I did end up buying them a round of drinks. Some foo-foo things for $9.00 each. I had another beer myself and managed to enjoy it.

A while ago I remember being a little freaked out because LaptopGirl was sitting thirty yards away from me, with only two walls separating us at Rich O's. Well last night, last night MixedSignalGirl was thirty feet away from me, and I could see her, and I could hear her laughing, and I could still smell her perfume on my shirt.

It was surreal.

When I paid my tab and stood up to leave, our eyes met. I mouthed the words Hard Rock and she nodded. I'd meant it as an invitation, but she might have taken it as a warning, because I sat at The Hard Rock for an hour or so, and she didn't come in.

Later, while I was at Rich O's, I got a text message: Thanks for being nice tonight.

So I sent back: I came very close to asking you to come home with me.

After a half-hour that somehow lasted a million years, I got a response.

I'd have come. But thanks for not asking. You're still my hero. Later.

Later?

I hope so.

Thursday, January 4, 2007
posted by dave at 4:40 PM in category daily

I'm off work until Tuesday!

Tomorrow is the start of the Bank Pool division of the Derby City Classic, which I play in every year. I'm actually looking forward to it this year. Unlike last year when I was sorta dreading the thing, and it showed up in my play. Or lack thereof.

This year my mental state is much better than it's been for a long time. Problem is, my actual game is pretty shitty.

My practice sessions have lately taken one of two distinct flavors. Either I don't miss a ball for several hours, or I don't make a ball for several hours. Unfortunately, the latter outnumber the former by a fairly wide margin.

Oh well though. It should still be fun. And it will almost certainly be better than going in to work. I will miss going to the bar and seeing my friends *coughHatGirlcough* though.

Sunday, December 24, 2006
posted by dave at 10:14 AM in category daily

Every year my sisters and I have our Christmas thingy early. This year we did it last night.

I always do pretty well with gifts. I think this is because my sisters know that they're the only ones getting me anything, so they take it seriously.

Let me see if I can list what I got without having to go look:

  • Two old framed pictures - one of me and my mom, and the other of my Grandfather's old propane business.

  • Five cans of various nuts.

  • Some crystals to put in a fireplace to make the flames burn with pretty colors.

  • A set of beer glasses from various microbreweries.

  • A Bad Cats wall calendar. I'd actually bought it for Dina, and she'd bought me the desktop model of the same calendar, but we ended up trading.

  • Bottles of Baltika 6, Delirium Tremens, Weihenstephaner, The Reverend, Erdinger, and Rogue Chocolate Stout beers.
I think that's it. A pretty good haul.

Saturday, December 23, 2006
posted by dave at 11:44 AM in category daily

So the first three hours were a waste of time. Some might argue that it's all a waste of time. Maybe they're right.

It was crowded as fuck. I stood at the end of the bar and had myself a Spezial Rauchbier (1282). Then a dude left from the bar so I grabbed that seat.

I watched pint after pint after pint of Rogue Chocolate Stout get poured, and I became fearful that it would be going away soon, so I had a pint of that next (1392).

At one point, this chick sitting on the sofa called out to me that some "redhead" had just come in looking for me. I have no idea who that might have been. Actually, that's wrong. When I'd first arrived, one half of TeamHotness had been sitting out front. So it might have been her, except that she's not really a redhead.

Once a seat opened up on the sofa I moved over there, but then I went to the restroom and when I came back Roger had stolen my seat. Nothing I could do about that - it is literally his bar.

So I fucking stood.

You know how 65 million years ago, that asteroid came and killed all the dinosaurs? Well, a few minutes after that happened, these people sitting on the loveseat and the throne paid for their drinks. They then sat for the next 65 million years, staring at their feet, while I stood and glared at them.

Once they finally left I moved to the throne and ordered a Pyramid Snow Cap Ale (60). I'd had this before, but I went ahead and updated my review anyway:

Pyramid Snow Cap Ale

(draft) Dark cola in color. decent head and lacing. Nice and smooth. More complex than the first few sips indicate. Spices and hops and nutmeg and molasses are what I think I detected. A good beer.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

Before Roger stole my seat I got a phone call. The screen said BadPickleGirl. So I immediately assumed that someone had stolen BadPickleGirl's phone. I mean, that seemed much more likely than her actually calling me after a month would be, right?

But it wasn't a thief, it was really her. She just wanted some info about the Las Vegas airport.

So that was exciting.

Anyway, after my Pyramid was gone I had a Diet Coke. I was getting pretty bored and I was thinking about maybe considering going home but then my friend Eric and his wife Teri came in.

Yay!

So we sat and talked for an hour or so. They told me a story that helped to renew my faith in the court system, so that was good.

At 12:30 or so they started kicking everyone out so I came home.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006
posted by dave at 6:32 AM in category daily, general

Just two more days of work, then a five-day weekend! Then two days of work next week, followed by a four-day weekend!

Yay and yay!

But wait! I'm on-call next week.

Boo!

---

Looks like my little diatribe about HatGirl's birthday did some good. People have recognized her spectacularity and have agreed to attend her party. HatGirl at first wanted me to bring cut up tomatoes, but I told her that's way outside my culinary abilities. Now I'm bringing taco shells and shredded cheese. Those things I can handle.

---

I get irritated when people jump right out of one relationship and into another. This is probably just a jealousy thing.

---

I slept for ten hours last night. I needed it.

---

There was a brief period when I thought that there was an actual chance that I might have a girlfriend this holiday season. I think that would have been nice. Especially on New Year's Eve.

---

This dude at work was on the phone yesterday morning. He hung up the phone and announced that he had to go to Mexico. We all thought he was kidding. Then the guy flew to Mexico, and so now we're not so sure.

Monday, December 18, 2006
posted by dave at 5:52 PM in category daily

So today I had to go over to our main campus to work for a while. This is relevant for a couple of reasons.

Reason the first, the "building" I was working in is actually a merging of three buildings. The floors don't quite match up, and neither do the structural supports. So there are lots of little stairways and twisty halls in the places where the buildings connect.

Reason the second, it's the main headquarters of a multi-national corporation. So there are people there. Important people.

Anyway, I'd finally finished up the work that had required my presence there, and I was making my way back to the exit. Specifically, I was making my way between two of these old buildings. Through a little twisty hallway with stairs in it.

I wasn't really running but neither do I fuck around when I walk. So I was moving pretty quickly.

As I rounded a corner, and went down some stairs, I gave very close to having a head-on collision with a man who was coming in the other direction. He, apparently, does not fuck around when he walks either.

We came within a few inches of killing each other.

No big loss, you might say.

And, in my case you'd be correct. But the man that I almost killed was the fucking CEO. Of the entire corporation. Where I work.

I bet he'd have been really embarrassed if he was killed by a peon like me. I bet I'd have gotten a posthumous promotion to Senior Vice President or something, just so it would look better in the newspaper.

Saturday, December 16, 2006
posted by dave at 12:03 PM in category daily

Last night SassyBoy came in to Rich O's, and I guess he's in contact with SassyGirl!

Yay!

So I gave him my email address so he could email me and let me know how to contact SassyGirl.

I miss SassyGirl. It seems like a million years since she moved away.

posted by dave at 11:05 AM in category daily

I just took a break from doing a happy dance to write this.

My cats are concerned about me. I guess they don't appreciate my dancing.

Now back to the happy dance!

Yay!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006
posted by dave at 9:59 PM in category daily

Anyway.

Today I got an email from HatGirl.

An email inviting me, and several others, to a birthday celebration.

I immediately accepted, and everyone else immediately declined.

Too close to Christmas, the negative RSVPs claimed.

What's wrong with these people?!?

It's HatGirl!

Who's birthday is more important? That of some dude from 2000 years ago, a dude who 3/4 of the world don't even believe existed? Or of a living and breathing and nice and pretty girl who everyone adores?

It's no fucking contest.

I don't know why I'm the only one to realize and admit it.

Monday, December 11, 2006
posted by dave at 1:58 AM in category daily, drink

Sunday night was pretty fun. Surreal, but fun.

After I'd finished vomiting words into my notebook - see the previous entry - I found myself talking to a girl that I've seen before. Both at Rich O's and there at The Pub. A girl who looks almost exactly like Ella.

A hot girl. A girl who's way out of my league. But somebody forgot to tell her that, and it somehow slipped my mind as well.

Oops.

So EllaGirl and I went over to The Hard Rock to eat. And drink. And talk. And even flirt a little. Surreal.

Let's see, I'd been planning to just have a Guinness, but CoolHairGirl informed me that they were out, so I had a Blue Moon (336). I had some chicken tenders too.

We stayed there for a couple of hours. She's a very neat girl, and I somehow managed to keep her entertained. We each had a sample of a new beer from Anheuser-Busch. I liked it enough to order a full glass.

Winter's Bourbon Cask Ale (20)

(draft) Clear bronze. A very interesting vanilla and smoke aroma. Despite the name, there wasn't even the tiniest hint of bourbon. A nice medium mouthfeel, with vanilla and light smoke in the flavor as well. Pretty fucking good. I don't care who makes it.
So that was a nice surprise.

A friend of mine told me earlier in the evening that she needed a distraction from her distraction. I guess I needed the same thing. I guess maybe EllaGirl did too.

It was fun.

Thursday, December 7, 2006
posted by dave at 7:20 PM in category daily

Dammit.

Dammit.

Dammit.

Dammit.

Dammit.

Dammit.

Dammit.

Dammit.

I overestimated the progress that we'd made.

Dammit.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006
posted by dave at 6:19 AM in category comics, daily

Some of you may recall a conversation I wrote about a while ago. A conversation between my lovely self and Roger, the owner of Rich O's.

That conversation went something like this:

yay!

So for a while there my life was pretty good. It had meaning. I had something to look forward to.

Not anymore.

Yesterday, I found this on Roger's blog.

Harpoon Winter Warmer has been scratched from the Saturnalia line-up.

Because of bean counters.

I fucking hate bean counters.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006
posted by dave at 11:44 PM in category daily, travel

Today after lunch I stopped at this little bar thingy in The Rio, at a video poker machine.

Just to have something to do before the afternoon sessions started.

I'd already used up all my luck the other day, so I figured that I'd lose my $20 daily allocation pretty quickly.

I was playing 3-play deuces wild, a five quarter bet on each hand. If you've never played 3-play before (I hadn't) what is does is it deals you five cards like normal, but your hold cards get duplicated to two other hands. Then you draw for all three hands. It's kinda cool.

So I was about $10 into my $20, and the thing dealt me four deuces. Before the draw, not that that matters. You can't improve on four deuces.

So I won 1000 quarters. $250.

I hit the hold button for the four deuces and watched them duplicate for the other two hands. Then I hit the draw button because you still have to do that.

Well the machine didn't pick that moment to malfunction, to my mild surprise.

I won $750.

Ka-Ching, right?

Well that was my first thought.

My seconds thought was, fuck!

See, if I'd been a man instead of a mouse, I'd have been playing dollar bets instead of quarter bets. If I'd been a man instead of a mouse, I'd have won $3,000.

But wait!

There's more!

That machine also offered 5-play and 10-play modes.

So, if I'd been a man instead of a mouse, and if I'd been a man with big giant barbed-wire balls instead of a regular man, I'd have been playing dollar bets in 10-play mode.

I'd have won $10,000.

Like I said, fuck!

I don't expect much pity here.

Friday, November 24, 2006
posted by dave at 1:23 PM in category daily

Yesterday I was talking to BadPickleGirl about how I had to go shopping today for luggage and jeans.

Being a woman, BadPickleGirl has all of the shopping places in the area mapped out and locked in to her brain. I think that, for this purpose, women use the same area of the brain that I use to keep track of all the bars and poolhalls.

Anyway, she told me that I should go to this place called Tuesday Morning for my luggage.

So that's where I went.

Man, am I whipped or what?

They did indeed have luggage. Pretty nice stuff and very good prices. One-offs I think. I picked out a large suitcase and a matching smaller case for carry-on. Retail price was like $400, but I was only going to have to pay $75. Hell of a deal, I think.

I got to the checkout counter and I had to wait - I shit you not - 25 minutes for some old lady in front of me to fill out her check and find her driver's license. So that sucked.

The hag finally got out of my way so I put the two suitcases on the counter to be scanned.

The guy started opening up the small suitcase. I guess this is because I look like a thief or something.

Inside the small suitcase was a soft-sided carry-on bag!

I didn't put it there!

Really!

So I told the guy that I didn't want the soft-sided bag, that I hadn't put it there, and that maybe he should check the large suitcase to see what might be stashed hidden in there.

"Gee, ya think?" the guy's eyes said to me.

Inside the large suitcase was, of course, a smaller suitcase.

I didn't put that there either!

I swear!

The guy took it pretty well I suppose. I don't think it was the first time it had happened. They stuff shit inside other shit to save shelf space. The guy did, however, seem a little surprised and maybe even a little disappointed that I hadn't decided to buy the extra items. Maybe some people would have done so out of embarrassment or something.

So that was fun. And now I've got decent luggage for my Las Vegas trip.

BadPickleGirl had also told me to go to some place that sells dead peoples' clothes. She'd said that I could get cheap jeans there.

I passed on that, and went to the mall like a regular person.

Sunday, November 19, 2006
posted by dave at 10:18 PM in category daily, drink

Didn't do a whole lot today. Worked for a few hours on a server that a coworker put into a coma yesterday. It's still nonresponsive.

I also went to the store and bought a turkey. Then I cooked it. This is something I usually do on the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

I figure there are two main goals to strive for when preparing and eating turkey:

1: Do not burn the house down.

2: Do not die from food poisoning.

So far so good. My house still stands. The food poisoning thing, well I guess I'll know by this time tomorrow.

I also got to talk to BadPickleGirl for an hour or so tonight. That was a very pleasant surprise. I have no idea why she calls my home number though. That ringer has been turned off for years. It was only because I happened to see the phone light up that I even knew that I had an incoming call.

BadPickleGirl is nice. I'll miss her when I'm in Las Vegas next week. I hope that doesn't freak her out.

Also, tonight I had myself an Avery The Beast (24). It was yummy.

Tomorrow I start another on-call rotation. That will suck I'm sure. This year I'm on-call for Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years Eve. I was actually on-call for July Fourth too, but I got a coworker to trade with me for that day because I was in Cleveland.

Anyway, it was nice to end my Sunday on a good note.

Saturday, November 11, 2006
posted by dave at 3:17 PM in category daily, drink

I arrived at BadPickleGirl's house promptly at 8:45. This was quite an amazing feat because I was sure I was lost. I'd written down directions, and at one point I'd written one-tenth mile. This was clearly an error as the actual distance was a thousaand million bazillion miles.

I did my best to look casual as I walked up to the door. I guess I did okay because she waved me in.

After a few niceties, we got down to business.

Unibroue La Terrible

(bottle) Very dark, almost black. A smallish head that faded almost instantly. It had a very dry aroma and flavor. More like wood than the fruit I'd been expecting. A very good beer though. It certainly didn't taste like it was 10.5% ABV.
BadPickleGirl had chosen that bottle to be first because of the bottle. That's the same reason I'd bought the beer in the first place. It's a very attractive bottle which has defied all attempts to be photographed.

The next bottle was another new one for me:

Duinen Tripel

(bottle) Slightly hazy orange. Quite fizzy in both aroma and flavor. Hints of apples, expected for the style, but the fizz was the predominate characteristic. Reminiscent of champagne. Good, but not great.
Of the four bottles I'd brought with me, three were strangers. I had, however, brought one ringer. A beer that I discovered a few weeks ago but one that I hadn't gotten around to reviewing yet. I think that, by the time the Duinen was gone, BadPickleGirl and I both knew that the third bottle would be the last. So I chose the one that I knew was yummy.

Koningshoeven Quadrupel Trappist Ale

(bottle) Cloudy dark red. An intense fruit aroma, with a mixture of dark cherries and apples and citrus. Easily one of the best beers I've ever had. Fucking yummy.
As it turned out, we didn't finish that bottle. We got about halfway through it and BadPickleGirl moved over to her other couch and stretched out. I believe that her exact words were, "That last beer sent me into Led Zeppelin oblivion."

Well, seeing her stretched out on the couch threatened to sent me into another sort of oblivion. So there.

But I'm a gentleman, so instead of sitting and staring, I spent some time trying to cram the cork back into that last bottle, then I put it in her fridge. Then I gave BadPickleGirl a hug, thanked her for the lovely evening, and came home at about 1:00.

This morning, RockGirl put bait on her breath and sent me an How was the date? email. My response, in part, was as follows:

There was no slaking. We just sat and talked and drank some bottles of Belgian beers. I got to know her a little better, which is what I really wanted to do. She's nice.

posted by dave at 11:17 AM in category daily

I told BadPickleGirl that I probably wouldn't write about what we were doing. That this damned ever-increasing respect for privacy would, most likely, cause me to censor myself to the point where there might not even be an entry about what we did.

I told her about how I'd gotten HotRedHead in trouble with my writing, and that I didn't want to risk anything like that happening with BadPickleGirl.

But she would hear none of that. She insisted that I could write whatever I wanted. That I should write what happened. She said some crap about journalistic responsibility I think.

So, last night, BadPickleGirl and I gave our tongues and our lips a real workout. On her new leather couch, with candlelight flickering and music playing softly, we tasted things we had longed to taste for a long time.

To be continued.

Ha ha.

Friday, November 10, 2006
posted by dave at 1:37 PM in category daily

The world can breathe a collective sigh of relief.

My gutters are now clean.

Not clean enough to eat off of, but what kind of a sick fuck would want to do that anyway?

Thursday, November 9, 2006
posted by dave at 8:25 PM in category daily

Today we had to do a bunch of team-building crap for work.

First, we did a hole of miniature gold. I got it in two shots, which was as well as could be expected. I got three points for that.

Next, we did this stupid bean bag toss thing. I got a zero because all four of my tosses slid right over the fucking hole and off the board.

Next, we shot free throws. Now I can shoot free throws pretty well. I bet I can make them about 90% of the time. But not without some practice throws first. So I got another zero as both of my shots bounced off the front of the rim.

Next, we did this stupid pumpkin bowling thing. We had to bowl a pumpkin and knock over some two-liter bottles. My first roll knocked six bottles down, and my second roll veered to the right and hit a wall. I got six points.

Finally, the last event was horseshoes. I'm pretty good at that too, but again, not without some practice. I think both of my shots hit the peg, but they both ended up too far away, so I got another zero.

For those of you keeping score at home, I had nine points out of a possible forty-four.

My team ended up winning the overall championship, no thanks to me.

I suck.

Sunday, October 29, 2006
posted by dave at 4:23 PM in category daily, drink

Yesterday, I went driving.

First, I went to get my oil changed in my truck.

Then I went out to my sister's house to see her new kitten.

Then I hit the road.

After about six hours of driving, I ended up in downtown Louisville. A mere five miles from my home. I obviously took the scenic route.

So at a little after 7:00 I was sitting in this place called The Dark Star and I was eating a yummy cheeseburger and drinking a yummy BBC Jefferson's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout (314), and the cast of all the Batman movies walked in.

There was Batman, and Catwoman, and The Joker, and Two-Face, and some harlequin chick that I guess was one of the Joker's henchmen.

Catwoman and the harlequin chick were hot. All of the costumes were great.

After I'd finished my meal and my beer I walked up the street to The Pub and had a couple of Newcastles (2626) and I wrote down all of the costumes that I saw. You should be aware that some of these might not have been actual costumes. Those characters marked with an * are the ones that might have been real:

  • The Blues Brothers

  • Pirate

  • Stupid Hairstyle Guy *

  • Active Herpes Outbreak Girl *

  • Joe Dirt

  • Kermit (or, Green Tights Dude with Frog-Shaped Tumor On His Head)

  • Terrorist (had a bomb in his turban, how original)

  • Hot Rasta Girl

  • Security Guard *

  • Prostitute *

  • Fireman

  • Hot Pirate Girl

  • Fat Bumblebee Girl

  • Assorted Zombies

  • Living Crocodile Hunter

  • Dead Crocodile Hunter

  • Nacho Libre

  • Assorted Faeries

  • Stick Up Her Ass Girl *

  • Cute Devil Girl (my waitress)

  • Rambette (like Rambo but a girl)

  • Green Dude In A Suit (maybe an alien?)

  • Vampire Couple

  • World's Gayest Guy *

  • Assorted Sexy Nurses

  • World's Ugliest Cheerleader

  • Goth Girl

  • Orange Pants Faggot *

  • Joe Dirt (another one)

  • Fatass Ex-Jock Guy *

  • Assorted Evil Clowns

  • Assorted Non-Evil Clowns

  • Striped Shirt Girl

  • Skinhead Punks *

  • Gay Black Uncle Sam (his description)

  • Really Tall Skull Dude

  • Little Miss Muffet

  • Bloody Surgeon

  • Hot Navy Girl

  • Hot Army Girl

  • Hot Burkha Girl

  • Assorted Cute Princesses

At 10:00 or so, my phone vibrated.

HatGirl!

Yay!

They were at Rich O's.

So I went there. Out on the street there were a gazillion more people in costumes, but I didn't stop to write any of them down or I'd still be writing.

Oh yeah, I'd talked to this one zombie at The Pub and he gave me a beer shirt and a free glass to give to HatGirl. I had to lie and say that they were for my girlfriend, but the sheer joy in HatGirl's eyes when I gave her those gifts - well it was certainly worth a little fib.

When I got to Rich O's I got to sit on the throne because TallLady had just left. I knew this because I'd talked to her in the parking lot. There were some girls I didn't recognize scattered around the living room. They might have been cute but I wouldn't know because HatGirl was at the kiddie table.

Yay!

I had myself a Diet Coke and talked to HatGirl and LuckyFucker for a while. I got NotHideousGirl's phone number from HatGirl, but it might have been a fake number because I sent a test text message and I've recieved no response.

Then after HatGirl and LuckyFucker left I talked to WomanRepellant for a while.

Then I came home.

Friday, October 27, 2006
posted by dave at 1:04 PM in category daily

Today I got to take a half day off. This is my reward for putting up with being on-call last week.

So, yay!

Also, I got the pictures from BadPickleGirl. One of the pictures features flab oozing out of my shirt. And not in an attractive away.

So, boo!

Friday, October 20, 2006
posted by dave at 5:55 PM in category daily

I was just walking down the street, minding my own business, and two random hot girls stopped me.

"Excuse me," one of the random hot girls said in broken English. "Please where is Louiville Slugger?"

"Just start at my feet and work your way up," I said. "You can't miss it."

No I did not really say that. Years of experience have told me that random hot girls have no sense of humor, and I can only assume that random hot foreign girls are no different. So I gave them real directions to the place.

Sunday, October 15, 2006
posted by dave at 2:59 PM in category daily

Happy birthday to my sister Neisha!

Saturday, October 14, 2006
posted by dave at 12:31 AM in category daily

I remember reading somewhere that it's 90% mental.

That sounds about right to me.

The body, it just dances in the background. The mind is the real star of this show.

It's not even a very good show. Full of deceit and trickery. Empty promises and false praise. It drags on for far too long, and there's not really an ending. The lights just fade, ever so slowly, until you realize that the show is over.

It's not a very good show, but it can still mesmerize you and suck you in, if your amenable to that sort of thing. If you're not careful. If you're weak.

But, as they say, The show must go on.

They're right.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006
posted by dave at 10:30 PM in category daily, drink

After work today I stopped by Rich O's. Mainly to get a pizza, but then they had a new beer for me on tap:

t Smisje Halloween (10)

(draft) Cloudy yellow/orange. A nice head that faded quickly. This is a very citrusy Belgian when it first enters the mouth, but then the pumpkin takes over and coats the mouth with sweetness, then there were some nice spices in the finish. Just yummy. It seemed like it had a high ABV, but its 10.5% still surprised me.
So that was a nice surprise.

Then, then as I was walking out the door Roger (the owner) called out to me.

"What?" I asked.

"I can get Harpoon now," he answered.

My head immediately started swimming. And here's why:

Harpoon Winter Warmer (100)

The web page says cinnamon and nutmeg. I got none of that. What I got was ambrosia. The most unusual beer I've ever had, and it took me a while to pin down what I was experiencing. Copper colored, good lacing, and an actual flower aroma. The flavor was incredibly indescribable, but I'll try anyway. Take a beautiful woman, have her bathe in lilacs and Mr. Bubble. Now perform oral sex on her. That's how good this beer was.
That's the review I wrote of Harpoon Winter Warmer during my trip to Portland Maine in the Spring of 2005.

Then Roger said something about how he's getting Harpoon IPA for this hop festival thingy they're having. It starts this Friday. But I don't care about that. All I could think about was that their Winter beer festival (Saturnalia) is coming up in December. I always look forward to it, but this year it goes beyond that. This year it gives me something to live for, because Harpoon Winter Warmer could be there.

Friday, October 6, 2006
posted by dave at 7:30 AM in category daily

Tonight, I get to go to a thing at a place with some people.

I'm looking forward to it, which means that I'll be disappointed.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006
posted by dave at 11:54 PM in category daily, drink

Found out yesterday morning that I'm on-call this week. This sucks extra hard because (a) SassyGirl's going away party is Friday night, and (b) My sister is having a party on Saturday.

I absolutely will not miss SassyGirl's party, and my sister may kill me if I miss yet another one of her parties, so I've pleaded with my coworkers to trade some on-call days and cover for me from Friday evening until Sunday morning. No response yet.

There is absolutely nothing else going on. There probably should be, but there isn't.

I went to Rich O's after work yesterday, and had an NABC Artemsia (300). I also managed to put myself into one of the best moods I've felt in a very long time. I was able, for a half hour or so, to forget that the last two years ever happened. It was nice.

Then today I went after work to see SassyGirl. I had a Smithwick's (1152).

This is boring.

Friday, July 28, 2006
posted by dave at 7:32 AM in category daily

Absolutely nothing of note happened on Thursday.

I slept, then I worked, then I slept again.

Hence the complete lack of entries yesterday.

Monday, July 17, 2006
posted by dave at 10:52 PM in category daily

This goes much deeper than I'd dared to imagine.

It wasn't the work of just one practical joker, it was a collaborative effort spanning uncountable miles and untold months.

I found my keys.

I found them almost where I'd left them.

I drove my truck back to work tonight. My non-air-conditioning-having truck. Yes, it was hot. Yes, I roasted. I drove back to work and I talked to the guard about whether there was a lost and found box I could rummage through. He said that there was, over in the admin building. He'd buzz me in. I said that I wanted to check my cubicle and my laptop case one more time.

So I went back to my cubicle and pretty much turned it inside-out.

No keys.

But I'd already known that. I had a distinct memory of dropping my keys into my laptop case in the morning. Either they were still there, or they'd somehow fallen out, or someone had taken them.

I opened every pocket in that bag. I emptied out every paper and pen and loose coin from that bag. I picked that bag up and I turned it upside-down and I shook it.

No keys.

I reached my hand deep inside the bag, and my hand somehow found a pocket that I hadn't known was there. A deep pocket. So deep, in fact, that my arm wasn't long enough to let me probe its depths. So I placed the bag on the floor, and I climbed inside. There, I found the entrance to, I dunno, another universe is the only way I can describe it. A separate time and place, with neither light nor sound nor texture. Only emptiness. Nothingness.

I steeled myself, then I ventured inside ever further, and then I lost all connection with time and place and even self.

I drifted through that emptiness for what might have been a few seconds or what might have been a million years. I drifted through the darkness until I saw something. The faintest glimmer. The kind of glimmer that only small shiny metal things can make. By sheer force of will, I steered my drifting body toward the source of the glimmer, and then, after another few seconds or another million years, I heard a clink. The kind of clink that only small shiny metal things can make.

I'd found my keys.

Somehow, maybe through luck, or maybe because that dark and silent and empty place knew that I didn't belong there and forced me out, I made my way back into my universe, into my cubicle. Standing there and pondering the journey I'd just made, I was suddenly struck as to just how deep this conspiracy went.

It wasn't one person hiding my keys on a lark. It was a planned thing. That laptop bag is several years old, made God only knows where, yet that portal waited inside it until today. Someone, some evil genius, designed that bag with today in mind. To make me feel like a dumbass, someone went to an awful lot of trouble. I can't even begin to imagine the kind of planning and patience this took. I know that I could never pull it off.

Whoever it was that did this, that set this up, I applaud them.

Like I said before, Ha ha. That's a good one.

posted by dave at 5:44 PM in category daily

Okay, which one of you fuckers took my keys?

I thought for a while, when I was trying to leave work and couldn't find them, I thought that I'd locked them in my car. They were not in my laptop case where they were supposed to be, and they were not anywhere else in my cubicle. So I realized that in my Monday morning fugue state, I must have locked them in my car.

This realization sucked, but I hadn't done it in over fifteen years, so I figured that I was due.

I walked out and peered into my windows for a good five or ten minutes.

They're not in my car.

You sure had me going though. Ha ha. That's a good one.

But now the joke has run its course. I've already bummed a ride home from a coworker, so there are no more laughs for you to have at my expense.

So, can I please have my fucking keys back?

Monday, July 10, 2006
posted by dave at 11:52 PM in category daily

Today, I got my oil changed in my Intrepid, so I can drive it to Chicago on Wednesday. Should be more comfortable than my truck. Less bouncy anyway. I also had them fix the air conditioning.

Then I took a nap.

Saturday, June 24, 2006
posted by dave at 10:00 AM in category daily, drink, pictures

First things first. Yesterday I had the first half of the day off work, but at noon I had to go to Churchill Downs for a work thing.

I guess I'm kind of anti-horseracing. It just seems a little cruel to me, especially when they use the whips. Maybe that makes me a pansy. I dunno.

Here's a picture I took:

Go Baby Go!

Anyway, that's how I spent the day Friday.

Friday night I was on my way to Rich O's, and I ran into VigilanteGirl in the parking lot at the GasNStuff. So I talked to her for a half-hour or so. This was quite disconcerting because she was looking very sexy. I displayed willpower that I didn't know I possessed by keeping my eyes locked on her own. Mostly. Drift was inevitable, and understandable, I think. Damn she's hot.

She bought a DaveFest shirt. That was nice of her.

So by the time I left GasNStuff, I was running late, but I still needed to eat something, so I stopped at the haunted Burger King for a quick meal.

While I was waiting for my food, my cousin Jeff called to let me know that he'd be coming by Rich O's later to get his DaveFest shirt.

When I finally arrived at the bar, it was crowded as fuck. A couple of PBDs were on the loveseat. ActualGeorge was at the kiddie table, and strangers and assholes were everywhere else. How could I tell the difference between strangers and assholes? I'm glad you asked. The assholes were the ones sitting on the sofa, eating, and drinking fucking water.

Water.

What a bunch of assholes.

Anyway, I stood at the end of the bar and had myself a yummy Rogue Chocolate Stout (576) and glared at the assholes. At one point I went and sat with ActualGeorge for a while but then WomanRepellant came in so I went back and stood with him.

It was pretty boring, but I didn't mind too much.

After a while the strangers left the island so WomanRepellant and I and some PBDs went and sat there.

My second beer was a half-pint of Rogue Smoke (100). I like that beer (another DaveFest selection) a lot, but I wanted to save room for more Chocolate Stout.

At about the time Jeff arrived, The PBDs were leaving the loveseat, so we went and sat there. Then the assholes left the sofa and the throne.

Yay!

I guess that was pretty much it. I gave Jeff his DaveFest shirt, and we sat and talked for the rest of the night. A couple of times somebody would come in and interrogate me about DaveFest, and I did my best to sound humble about the thing. But it's hard to be humble when you're me, I suppose. At least when you're me and people are wearing shirts with your likeness on the front.

Oh yeah, that one girl that looks like Ella came in and sat out front. With her was, I shit you not, the hottest girl who has ever sat foot in Rich O's. You could hear straining zippers all over the place as erections formed on every man there.

So the night was pretty tame. WomanRepellant joined Jeff and me in the living room, and I had a couple more Rogue Chocolate Stouts (616) before they started kicking everybody out of the place.

Thursday, May 4, 2006
posted by dave at 4:59 PM in category daily

I'm off work tomorrow, so my work week just finished.

I'm so happy that, once again, I could shit.

An added bonus to having the day off is that I won't have to deal with the riots scheduled for Louisville.

Thursday, April 27, 2006
posted by dave at 8:26 PM in category daily, drink, ramblings

The bartender just dug a pen out of her purse for me. She must want it up the ass. Not the pen though. Or maybe the pen. I dunno, but I bet she wants something up the ass.

I'm sitting at the Hooter's in Clarksville, having just dropped my truck off at the nearby Toyota dealer. They're having a recall so they can replace some steering doohickey. Apparently, these doohickeys are prone to breakage and causing hilarity on the highways. Yikes! I'm also going to get my A/C fixed in the thing.

Oh yeah, I'm having a yummy Newcastle (1848) and it's yummy. So take that, Roger!

I was sitting here thinking about, wondering about actually, what would have happened if I'd taken the advice of so many people and just went for it. Or, "Whipped it out," as it was more often suggested.

I don't know why I was wondering about this. I already know what would have happened. I've known all along. Even when it was still easy to know, even then I knew there was no future for us.

A couple of weeks. Maybe a month. Maybe a little longer because I'm stubborn and because she's so incredibly fucking beautiful and wonderful, but that would be all.

I'm having another Newcastle (1860) now.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Nowhere.

I'm just killing time here.

I continue to be astonished by the fact that I'm still alive. That this news didn't kill me. In many ways, I'm more perplexed and surprised now that I was back when all this shit started. Oh, back then that took me by surprise, sure, but since then I'd begun to think that I'd gotten to know myself fairly well. Well enough to know the difference between that which would completely devastate me and that which I'd simply shrug off.

Well, I was wrong. Again.

I'm thinking about having that engraved on my tombstone. Like this:

tombstone

Anyway, to jump back to the beginning of this sorry excuse for an entry, there was never any real possibility for a future between us. My brain has always known this, but it took time for my heart to finally shut the fuck up long enough that my brain could be heard.

You know what I wish?

Of course you do. You have my entire journal memorized. Plus, you can read my mind.

(to be continued)

Wednesday, April 26, 2006
posted by dave at 6:16 PM in category daily

...should be Thursday.

That is all.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006
posted by dave at 8:04 AM in category daily

This morning on the way to work I passed a car on the side of the road. The hood was up, and the elderly black lady standing beside was it doing the phone signal to the cars passing her. You know, with her thumb and her pinkie extended?

Genius that I am, I figured that she was wanting to know if anyone had a phone to she could call for help with her car.

Nice guy that I am, I pulled over at the first opportunity.

I walked back to the lady.

"Ma'am," I asked. "Would you like to use my phone?"

The lady looked at me, sneered a little, and said, "I'll get my own phone, Whitey."

As I walked back to my truck, I directed some thoughts at the lady. The most relevant was probably this one:

Please die, you racist bitch. The world will be better off when you, and people like you, are no longer a part of it.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006
posted by dave at 4:41 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

What a boring person I've become.

Whether it's shock or denial or a combination of the two, my mind seems to have shut itself down.

This is a good thing if I want to sleep, and it's certainly allowing me to do that lately. This is also a good thing for my readers if they want to sleep, for if there is anything more likely to cause drowsiness than reading about another person's boring life and mundane thoughts - I don't know what it would be.

I feel like there must be something here inside my head that, if I could only get a good enough grip on it, I could force it to generate some passion within me. Then I could let some of that passion spill out onto this keyboard.

There must must be something in here.

Today, I went shopping for booze. This is an annual event in which I spend a lot of money, on things that I will never drink, simply because my company expects it of me. So now I've got even more wine and whisky and whiskey and vodka to place alongside all of the bottles that I've bought in previous years. My liquor cabinet overflowed last year - bottles are now starting to crowd onto my kitchen counter. My freezer is filling up with flavored vodka.

I try to give it away to friends and family, but I don't have a lot of either, and most of the people I know are beer drinkers anyway.

I could throw the fuck all of parties, but since I don't like people that much, I doubt that I'll be doing that anytime soon. Or ever.

My fridge is also filling up with beer. Like today I bought myself a six-pack each of Bell's Kalamazoo Stout and Upland Chocolate Stout. Six months ago I never drank at home, but I've picked up that habit lately I suppose. Mostly in an attempt to stir my creative juices. I gotta watch that shit though. I gotta remember where I came from. What my parents were.

After the booze shopping I stopped by Rich O's and had myself a glass of Spezial Rauchbier Lager (1130) which started being promised in January I think but only just now showed up on tap. It was yummy.

Once I got home I went to sleep and slept for nine hours.

I dreamed that I missed a certain person, and I was so happy to be feeling anything again, but then I remembered that I'm not allowed to miss that person anymore. So I dreamed that I missed someone else until the same realization put an end to that as well.

So, apparently, I'm not allowing myself to feel anything at all, not even in my dreams.

How messed up is that?

Saturday, March 25, 2006
posted by dave at 2:41 PM in category comics, daily, drink

Last night, I did not go to Rich O's. I did not, in fact, go to any bar at all.

Weird, huh?

That's what I thought.

What I did was I went to a surprise birthday party for my friend Eric. Though I'm not sure how much of a surprise it was, what with all of the cars in the driveway. Maybe seeing all of those cars was the surprise.

First things first, though. I went to the liquor store. I was planning to pick up a six-pack of Weihehstephaner, but they were out. So instead I bought a six-pack of Upland Chocolate Stout, then came back home and constructed my own little party pack consisting of two bottles of the Upland (286), two bottles of Winterkoninkske Winter King (136), and two bottles of Weihenstephaner (701) that I'd forgotten were in my fridge.

Thusly armed, I went to the house of this dude that graduated with Eric for the party.

i might have had a stroke as well

It was a nice quiet affair. We talked. We played some euchre. My brother-in-law Chris and I won about 800 games in a row I think.

she had a bud light

I actually managed to drink all of the beer I'd brought with me. And I didn't die.

That's simply amazing to me, mostly because that Winterkoninkske is some pretty strong stuff.

muhaha

One other thing that was nice was that my phone kept ringing. People wanted to know where I was, why I wasn't at Rich O's, when I was coming to Rich O's, how they were supposed to keep on living if I wasn't at Rich O's. I assured them all that I'd be there on Saturday night.

What I didn't tell them was that I have to work Sunday morning so I may not stay for very long.

Saturday, March 18, 2006
posted by dave at 9:07 PM in category daily

Resync in progress: 58 % done
Resync in progress: 59 % done
Resync in progress: 60 % done
Resync in progress: 61 % done
Resync in progress: 62 % done
Resync in progress: 63 % done
Resync in progress: 64 % done
Resync in progress: 66 % done
Resync in progress: 67 % done
Resync in progress: 68 % done
Resync in progress: 69 % done
Resync in progress: 70 % done

When this is finished, I get to go out.

Saturday, March 11, 2006
posted by dave at 3:08 PM in category daily, drink

Yesterday we had to go to our local Caesar's for this work thing. I really don't get the purpose of these things. It's like there's this perception that nobody likes each other, but that would all change if we could somehow be forced to spend time together away from work.

Brilliant.

Not.

The people that I like I still like, and the people that are assholes are still assholes.

Actually, I think I like most of the people that went yesterday, so if there was an asshole among us it was probably me.

Anyway, I turned my $10 into $110 playing blackjack. It was quite boring though. My dealer's name was Chance I shit you not. What a stupid name, but if you're going to be a casino dealer I guess it's not too bad.

I'd considered just staying at the casino Friday night, because Rich O's has been so full of idiots lately, but by the time we got released from our team-building stuff I was just too tired. So I called SassyGirl and let her know that I'd be at Rich O's later if she got off work and wanted to come by.

Then, then I got home and I had an email that put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night.

I got to Rich O's a little after 8:00. It was of course standing-room-only. So I stood at the end of the bar and ordered my first beer. I had a sip or two of this a long time ago, but this was my first official tasting:

Urthel Samaranth Quadrium (12)

(draft) This beer is evil. Pure evil. To taste the way it does, which is actually fairly mild, but to pack that much alcohol - well like I said it's evil. As I said, a fairly mild (and fairly standard) Belgian taste. A slight alcohol finish is the only thing that hints at the wolf underneath this sheep's clothing.
When I was about halfway through my glass, this fuckwad at the bar that I never saw before noticed the Guinness tap in front of him. He took this opportunity to be a dick.

"That Guinness, it's only for little girls and pregnant women. I can't stand that stuff," he said to his posse of fuckwads. They all chuckled of course, and I decided that I hated them all.

So, of course, I ordered myself a Guinness. I looked all the fuckwads in the eyes and waited for one of them to say something. They didn't though, because they're all fuckwads.

I drank my Guinness (1117) fairly quickly, and I was considering ordering another one just to push the fuckwads over the edge, but some strangers left the loveseat so I picked up my shit and went over there.

That was, in retrospect, a stupid thing to do, but I guess it was at least better than standing. Maybe.

I finished my Samaranth, and ordered another Gravity Head beer:

Founder's Blushing Monk Belgian Razz (5)

This really sucked.
After I'd managed to somehow choke down about half of the glass, I gave up and ordered a Young's Double Chocolate Stout (351).

Some other shit happened. There were idiots all over the place. I did my best to keep to myself, and I came home fairly early.

Monday, March 6, 2006
posted by dave at 4:39 AM in category daily

I've already mentioned that I hadn't wanted to go out Saturday night. I've already mentioned that I'd tried to go somewhere Saturday afternoon, and failed.

That's just the tip of the iceberg, as they say.

No less than five times, on Saturday - starting at about 10:00 and ending at about 1:00 - I tried to go out. The first several times I only got as far as my kitchen. I'd put my jacket on, and I'd pick up my keys, and then I'd just stand there.

After a while, I'd take my jacket off and go back to my office or to my basement or to my living room.

Eventually, I did leave my house. I got about halfway to Louisville, then I turned around and came back home.

I was in such a strange mood. I was very much aware of the futility of pretending to be a part of a world that I just didn't belong to. Not on Saturday. On Saturday night, if it hadn't been for the admittedly slim chances of (a) seeing HatGirl, and (b) being normal for a while, I would not have left my couch.

But that was Saturday.

By Sunday morning, I was more or less back to normal. Normal, as always, is a relative term. I mean normal for me.

For the most part. I thought so, anyway.

Except that I put my jacket on about ten times, and for eight of the first nine of those times I ended up just standing in my kitchen for a while before taking my jacket back off. One time I made it to the end of my driveway before I threw my truck into reverse and pulled back into my garage.

The tenth time I went and bought some groceries, which had been my plan all along.

This isn't really social anxiety, I don't think. When I'm standing in my kitchen, I'm not nervous or anxious about leaving my house.

I just don't see the point. There's nothing out there.

So I guess my strange mood hasn't left me completely.

Monday, February 27, 2006
posted by dave at 12:45 PM in category daily

This chick at work has gotten into the habit of bringing me the daily Jumble puzzle to try and stump me. I don't know why.

This morning, I took a look at the first set of letters, endom, and for some reason the first word that popped into my head was monde. The second set of letters, snifi, looked like finis.

I told the chick that I didn't think both words were correct (The first one turned out to be demon.) because both were more or less foreign words. I said that she might have accidentally bought the wrong paper.

She then asked me, "Are you Catholic?"

I answered that I wasn't.

That was the end of the conversation.

Where the fuck did that come from?

Women are strange.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006
posted by dave at 5:47 AM in category daily

I'd normally just blame EwokGirl for this, but I'm sure that the fire drill we had at work yesterday morning had something to do with it.

Sunday, February 19, 2006
posted by dave at 6:07 PM in category daily, drink

Weird.

The house two houses down from me is burning.

At least that's what we all assume. The six fire trucks and the four police cars are sort of a dead giveaway. They've blocked off the street at my driveway, and again about a mile down the road, so you can't actually see any fire. A couple of hours ago the smoke was impressive though.

So I went down to Buckhead's for my birthday dinner. I was alone, but I kinda had a point to make, so I did.

With my meal I had some Newcastle (1854).

I came home to find nothing changed except that there's no more smoke. All of the fire trucks are still there, and the road is still blocked off. I walked out and asked the cop in front of my driveway if everyone got out okay, and he said that they did, so that's good. I don't know those people but their cat used to come and eat some of Spook's food back when Spook was alive.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006
posted by dave at 12:39 AM in category daily

Tonight I'm trying something new to get through this insomnia bout.

Everybody at work keeps telling me all of these drugs I should take, but I really don't want to become reliant on pills to sleep. I came very close to becoming addicted to sleeping pills back when I was going through my divorce, and I don't want to do it again.

EwokGirl, who knows me pretty well for a coworker, had the only sensible suggestion: Beer.

But that won't work either, because (a) It carries the same risk of addiction, and (b) Alcohol has never really made me sleepy because I'm too much of a lightweight to drink enough of it.

So tonight, like I said, I'm trying something different.

I came straight home after work, and I went to bed.

I slept for six hours. That's the most I've had in any one day since last Tuesday morning.

Now I'll just stay up until after work tomorrow, and see what happens.

Thursday, February 9, 2006
ugh
posted by dave at 4:48 PM in category daily

I don't really have much to say. I just kinda want to write something while I wait for my shirt to dewrinkle in the dryer.

Insomnia has taken over my life. It's cost me a day and a half of vacation since yesterday afternoon, and I'm pissed about that because they're my last vacation days until May. Now all I've got left is a half day, and what am I supposed to do with that?

This morning I went in to see my doctor about my inability to sleep. He of course prescribed me some pills that will supposedly help me to relax. I don't think I'm going to bother getting the prescription filled though. I don't want to medicate my problems away.

That's beer's job.

Anyway, I managed to solve one of the mysteries that's been plaguing me for a couple of days. One of my friends had the audacity to (a) live in Phoenix and (b) send me an anonymous message. So I freaked out a little, but that mystery has, like I said, been solved.

The other mystery may remain unsolved for a while, but you never know. Once my shirt dewrinkles I'm going to go do a little sleuthing.

Saturday, January 28, 2006
posted by dave at 7:37 PM in category daily

This sucks.

I was supposed to go somewhere today. Another city perhaps. But all I did was shoot pool and watch TV and read and take a nap.

Now I've got to go to Rich O's and try to fool people into thinking that I'm worthy of human companionship.

If I was in Indianapolis, or St. Louis, and I got text messages asking if I was going to Rich O's, I could have responded, "I can't come tonight. I'm in Indianapolis, or St. Louis."

But nooooooooooooooooo!

I have to be a lazy fuck that doesn't even leave his house all day, forget about actually going somewhere interesting.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006
posted by dave at 4:56 PM in category daily

My nose has been whistling all fucking day long.

I've blown about a ton of crap out of it, and it still whistles.

Luckily, I'm the only one that can hear it. I think. EwokGirl has been giving me funny looks, but of course she always does that.

posted by dave at 7:05 AM in category daily

I guess UnfortunatelyNamedWorkGirl is involved in some hot project, so all day Monday all I heard was UnfortunatelyNamedWorkGirl this, UnfortunatelyNamedWorkGirl that.

When I called LensCrafters yesterday afternoon, the chick answered the phone with, "Thanks for calling LensCrafters, this is UnfortunatelyNamedLensCraftersGirl, how may I help you?"

These events did little to prepare me for last night, when HornDog decided to start poking around in areas that I thought had been settled a long time ago.

"So Dave," he asked. "You and LaptopGirl used to go out, right?"

*sigh*

So of course I told him that no, we'd never been a couple, but that everybody had always assumed that we were. This is old hat to me.

Then the guy had to be a dick.

"Well," he said, "She went out with everyone else, so I guess it's an understandable mistake."

What a fuckwad.

Then, to make matters worse, he proceeded to badmouth her some more, so her name became the most-uttered word at Rich O's for a while.

I bit my tongue. I wanted to leap to her defense, like I've done several times in the past, but I didn't. Not this time.

I'm not sure why. I think it's because I didn't want to hear her name any more. It's funny how I can go weeks without hearing that name, then all of a sudden I can't seem to hear anything else.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006
posted by dave at 10:02 PM in category daily, drink, pictures

I don't know where to start this entry.

At the beginning seems like the logical place, but it just doesn't read correctly in my head.

Oh well, I'm going to start at the beginning anyway.

I took the day off work today. One hour of sleep just wasn't going to cut it. I had some comp time coming to me from having to work all day Sunday. I'd planned to use that to have my birthday off, but there was no way I could have gone into work today, so I used my comp time a month early.

Anyway, I didn't do fuck all day long, really. I slept until 11:30 or so, then dicked around on the computer and downstairs on the pool table.

At 2:30 or so, SassyGirl invited me to meet her at Rich O's after work.

Little did she know, I wasn't even at work. Muhaha.

Since I had laundry going, I agreed to meet her at 4:00.

Once there, I had myself a half an Upland Winter Warmer (120). Why just the half-glass? Because I'd decided that I'd go ahead and buy myself some new glasses. So I'd called in to LensCrafters ahead of time to make sure that they had everything in stock, and I figured I'd go there and pick up my glasses after Rich O's.

Since LensCrafters has glasses in about an hour, I had an hour to kill between the time I got my pupils measured and the time I'd be able to pick up my new glasses. To kill that time, I invited SassyGirl to go to Red Lobster with me (it's right across the street from the mall) and she agreed.

Let's see, during dinner SassyGirl's phone rang, and she saw that it was TrainGirl, so she handed me the phone so I could answer. TrainGirl didn't recognize my voice, not that I can fault her for that.

Also, with my dinner, I had a glass of Blue Moon (210). I'd remembered to asked for an unchilled glass, but I forgot about the fruit garnish so they put a fucking orange wedge in the thing. I guess I got it out before it completely ruined the beer, because it tasted okay.

After we left Red Lobster we went back to get my glasses. Here they are:

new glasses

And here are the old ones:

old glasses

After that we went back to Rich O's.

While there, I had myself an NABC Old Lightning Rod (110), and later a half-glass of Guinness (1040). DooRagGirl came in and sat at the kiddie table and talked to me for a while. She kindof noticed my new glasses, but only because I'd taken them off and was waving them in her face.

Tonight didn't feel at all like a Tuesday night, but it was. I do have to work tomorrow, so I came home early.

posted by dave at 11:28 AM in category daily

I guess I'll just come right out and say it.

She's going back to her ex-boyfriend. The one I call AssholeDave. The one she used to call AssholeDave.

I am, of course, a little sad. That one thing that I've never been able to say to her - he says it so often that it's lost all meaning. If it ever had any.

This feels like about the millionth time we've broken up, even though there was really just the one time almost a year ago.

This time it doesn't really feel real, so this time it probably is.

Sunday, January 22, 2006
posted by dave at 10:09 PM in category daily, drink

This morning I faced an eight hour work day, and I dreaded it.

Right now, I face a long entry, and I dread it just as much.

Not because it's anything bad, but just because it's a little bit boring to everyone but me.

So I don't think I'll write a long entry or two about last night. I'll just hit the highlights.

After I left Lenscrafters, I went over to the Bluegrass brewpub and had some dinner. With my burger and fries I had a BBC Dark Star Porter (174) and a BBC Alt (220). Both were quite yummy.

I text-messaged SassyGirl to see if she was working or not.

At about the time I left the brewpub, MixedSignalGirl called me.

I didn't call her, she called me.

I just want to make that clear to those readers that have been giving me shit for leading the poor girl on.

Anyway, she was just wanting some company and she wanted it to be me. As it turned out, she's been having a problem with her ex-boyfriend (also named Dave) and she figured that my truck parked in her driveway would do some good.

We talked for a while and ended up going to Red Lobster where I managed to eat some cheesesticks despite already being full from eating at the brewpub.

That was it. We talked about nothing much, and we ate. It was nice though. There was no massive drama bubbling away beneath the surface of either of us.

After I left her house, at around 9:30. I went to send her a text-message thanking her for the company, and I saw that I'd missed about 46 phone calls from SassyGirl. I'd had my stupid phone turned to "completely silent" instead of "vibrate" as I usually do.

Duh.

SassyGirl was at Rich O's, and I went there. While I was on my way, HatGirl text-messaged me asking me where I was. I hadn't expected HatGirl to be there last night, so that was a nice surprise.

The place wasn't too crowded at all, but that was at least partly because I arrived at around 10:00.

To drink, I had a couple glasses of Piraat (155) and a glass of Gulden Draak (140). All were quite yummy.

I think that's all I want to say now.

Told you it was boring.

posted by dave at 12:55 AM in category daily

I mentioned to DooRagGirl Friday night that I was going to buy new glasses. She asked me if I was going to buy evil glasses. I don't know what that means. I picture either a monocle or one of those glasses-on-a-stick thingies. I think I'll stay with regular non-evil glasses. Just some that are a little more fashionable than the ones I've had for five years. Maybe some thin rectangular ones.

---

So Saturday afternoon, determined to (a) get off my ass, and (b) leave my house, and (c) actually do something, I went over to Lenscrafters to get some new glasses.

I went in, and looked around at some frames that kinda looked like what I was looking for. A saleslady approached me, and after a bit she told me that I couldn't buy glasses because my prescription was too old. I told her that my vision hadn't changed since the last time I'd bought glasses, but she said that I was in no place to make that determination - her computer said that my prescription had expired.

*sigh*

So I went over to the doctor's counter and filled out the sheet with all of my personal information, then waited for about a half-hour, then got my vision checked. Guess what?

My fucking prescription hasn't changed.

Armed with this new information, I went back to the same saleslady as before. I picked out a frame that I liked - not really rectangular, but moreso than my current pair, and definitely thinner.

This is when the bitch decided to tell me that they were so backed up that anything I ordered today wouldn't be available for pickup until Sunday.

*sigh*

So I told her to suck my dick*, and I left and went to another Lenscrafters, over in Louisville this time.

After about 15 minutes of standing in that store, and being completely ignored, I overheard some people talking. It turns out that you can't get a salesperson to even look at you, let alone help you at this particular store, unless you sign in first.

So I fucking signed in.

About 8 million years later, a salesguy called out my name.

I took him back to the display that had a couple of frames that I liked. I told him that I was hoping that his vast experience would be able to help me choose between them. One frame was more rectangular, and one was more oval. Both were a lot thinner than the glasses I currently wear.

The guy reaches deep inside himself, and calls upon his years of experience and deep knowledge of what frames look good on which people, and said, "Your face is oval, you could go with either frame."

Gee, thanks. Asshole.

Now, this is the part where I started to get pissed. Well, maybe not, but the groundwork for getting pissed was definitely laid at this point.

I picked the more rectangular frames. The guy said that, "With these frames, you have several options."

I swear he used the words "with these frames."

So he started rattling off options about featherweight lenses and scratch-resistance and anti-glare coatings. Eventually he said that I could get the featherweight scratch-resistant anti-glare for $280 with those frames.

I swear that's what he said.

with those frames.

After about another hour, which the salesguy spent typing my information into his computer, he suggested that he should go check and see if the frames that I wanted were in stock.

No shit, Sherlock.

I agreed that he should check, otherwise he was wasting my time.

So the guy comes back and they do have those frames in stock. He starts keying in numbers and eventually announces the total.

Eight zillion dollars.

It turned out that, despite what the fucker had said to me several times, that the cost of the frames was completely separate from the cost of the lenses. So my $149 frames, plus his lenses, added up to eight zillion dollars.

Or it might as well have.

I was not prepared to spend that much. Not so much because of the price, but because of the principle of the thing. It's a pair of glasses, not a new heart or set of lungs.

I told the guy that he'd mislead me, and that eight zillion dollars for some lenses was ridiculous, and that I'd rather stick with my boring old 1990-vintage glasses.

Then I left.

* - I didn't really tell her that, but I thought it.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006
posted by dave at 7:10 AM in category comics, daily

Last night saw a bit of an historic happening for SassyGirl and I. When I'd first arrived at Rich O's, there was a hot girl there.

it was worth a shot

She ended up sitting out front and waiting for this Bill asshole.

When SassyGirl arrived, I asked her if the hot girl was still sitting out front. She said, "Yes, and she really is hot."

That, dear readers, was the first time in the two years that I've known SassyGirl when she's actually agreed with me about a girl's hotness. She usually doesn't like anyone that I find attractive.

I've always found this odd. Knowing me, and my own impossibly high standards, it always seemed to me that it should be the other way around. I mean, I should be the one dismissing her picks. But I don't. Usually if she thinks a girl is pretty then so do I.

Weird.

Not very interesting, perhaps, but weird.

Monday, January 16, 2006
posted by dave at 11:23 PM in category daily, drink

Today, after work, I went and bought myself a new doorknob, then I went to meet SassyGirl at Rich O's.

Lately I only get to see SassyGirl once a week, on Mondays. I'd already decided that I wasn't going to be at the bar this evening for their Gay Night experiment, but stopping by immediately after work was certainly doable.

So we talked for a while about her new girlfriend and I had myself a Robert the Bruce (160).

Tonight I watched 24. I love this show. While I watched I had one of the beers that's been sitting in my fridge since before Christmas:

Winterkoninkske Winter King (11)

(bottle) Wow. I wasn't expecting a beer this special. The label says "Belgian Ale Brewed with Juniper Berries." There's not a whole lot that I can add to that description, but I owe it more. Flat-out yummy. I want more.
Now I'm thinking that I should have gone to Gay Night, but if I had, then I wouldn't have had this beer while watching 24, so I wouldn't have known how yummy it was, so I wouldn't have known to order one.

It's a conundrum, all right.

posted by dave at 12:22 PM in category daily

I don't really have much to post right now, but I don't want that last whiny entry to be the first thing people see, so I'll write about my wonderful morning.

On the way out of my driveway, I saw that the dog's body was still there. I suppose it'll stay there until tomorrow as whatever county agency is responsible for such things probably has the day off for the holiday.

I got about halfway to work - not quite to the river - and realized that I'd left my laptop at home. Shit! So I called and left a voicemail telling my boss that I'd be a little late, then I turned around and headed back up the hill.

You know that feeling you get when you think there's an extra step at the top of the stairs? Your foot just keeps going down, and you freak out for just an instant?

I went back into my house, petted the cats for a couple of seconds, grabbed my laptop case, closed the door leading to my garage, and

Shit!

I'd locked my keys inside my house. So I called and left another voicemail, this time telling my boss that I was going to be even later.

I've been locked out of my house before. One day last Summer I came home from Las Vegas and couldn't get into my house because my sister had locked that same door. At the time there was no key for that door, so I never ever locked it, but Dina didn't know that. On that day, I took a drill and drilled out the lock to gain entry. Then, of course, I went and bought a new doorknob set.

This morning, I once again went for the drill, but there was no chuck key and the bit wasn't set tightly enough. It kept getting stuck. I was getting a little pissed, and I looked around and saw the perfect tool for when I'm pissed.

A 15-pound sledge hammer.

It only took a few whacks to break the doorknob off. After that it was easy to get into the house. My cats may never recover though.

So today I get to go and buy another doorknob set from the hardware store.

This time I'm getting a half-dozen extra keys made.

Sunday, January 15, 2006
posted by dave at 6:37 PM in category daily

I've mentioned before that my neighbor across the street has a dumb dog named Dino.

Another neighbor has a younger, more annoying Black Lab named Molson.

I don't have any dogs myself. These two, plus a three-legged dog named Ice (Get it, Molson Ice) are the next best thing. I can't set foot outside my house without one or more of them running up to play fetch or something. Plus, Molson always brings me free dog shit.

So tonight, about twenty minutes ago, my doorbell rang.

I can see out my door from the couch where I was sitting. I looked out and saw a young brunette wearing glasses.

After I finished having my heart attack, I took a closer look.

Not her. Just some other brunette wearing glasses. An imposter.

Probably a Jehovah's Witness or something, I figure, so I grudgingly get up.

It's more of a girl than a woman, really. She's crying. She asked me if I had a dog.

I told her that I didn't, but that I knew most of the dogs in the area.

She told me that she'd just ran over a Black Lab.

Mother fucking shit!

As I walked with the girl over to the other side of the road, she tried to describe the dog, but all Black Labs look alike. Especially at night when you don't know them.

I asked her if the dog was dead, and she said she thought it was, because it had stopped screaming.

Her boyfriend had taken off to canvas some other houses.

I went to see the dog. To see which of my friends it was. To see if my friend was dead.

My first thought, upon getting close to the dog, was that I didn't know it. None of the Black Labs I know have white paws. I will admit to breathing a sigh of relief at that point.

I checked its neck for any sign of a pulse, and I put my hand on its chest and felt for a heartbeat. There was nothing. It was dead.

This dog obviously belonged to somebody - it was very well-fed. But it didn't have a collar. A neighbor lady that was driving by said that she'd never seen the dog before either.

So it's a mystery I guess. One that probably won't be solved until somebody puts up a flyer at Gas N Stuff about their missing dog. Then somebody will have to call the number that's written on it and break the news.

Breaking that news will suck, but not as much as it will suck for the person on the other end of the phone.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006
posted by dave at 7:07 AM in category daily, drink

As I've mentioned before, some of my friends are trying to turn Mondays into Gay Night at Rich O's, and I've been named an Honorary Gay for these occasions.

That's honorary only, so you girls just go ahead and breathe those sighs of relief.

Monday was my last day of vacation. I normally don't like to go out when I have to work the next day, but I figured that since I was technically still on vacation, what the fuck.

It was a pretty quiet night. I think that Gay Night might be a bust - most of them have been quite sparsely attended. I drank three bottles of yummy Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (413) and talked with SassyGirl, SassyBoy, TacoBell, and LibraryGirl.

I guess SassyGirl's brother is getting married in February. I may go to that, even though I don't know the guy. It would give me something to do, plus it'd be nice to meet some of SassyGirl's relatives. The wedding will be in Eastern Kentucky, right next to West Virginia, so it'll probably be full of redneck clichés and stuff.

Let's see, what else?

SassyGirl took this lovely picture of me.

aaaaaaaaaah!

SassyBoy saw a guy out in front of Rich O's that he said looked like me, but I didn't see any resemblance at all, except that we were both wearing glasses. I guess all straight men look alike to SassyBoy.

This one bull dyke came in, but it was just a coincidence- she didn't know about Gay Night. Her girlfriend was a very hot brunette though. I thought about asking her to put on my glasses, but I was afraid that the bull dyke would beat the shit out of me.

On a completely unrelated note, I've deleted VigilanteGirl's information from my cell phone's memory.

On another unrelated note, HatGirl was a no-show (she's another Honorary Gay) so that sucked.

Sunday, January 8, 2006
posted by dave at 1:24 PM in category daily

I have this nearly overpowering urge to do something to break this silence, to see what's going on. But I won't.

I don't know what I'd say anyway.

So I guess I'll go to the tournament and watch for a while.

Saturday, January 7, 2006
posted by dave at 1:44 AM in category daily

Okay, so I'm home again.

Today was a giant disappointment.

I didn't want to be there, and that lack of interest eventually showed up in my game.

I need to write more about this, but now right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

Monday, January 2, 2006
posted by dave at 1:10 PM in category daily, drink

After reading this, you may decide that I'm an asshole.

If you do, then you're in good company, because I agree with you.

I can tell you what happened, but I cannot tell you what I said to make it happen. This stupid discretion thing is such a pain.

So I can tell you that I made MixedSignalGirl cry last night, and that's about it. Even if I tell you that I was being completely honest, even if I tell you that we've always been brutally honest with each other, even if I tell you that I'm as bothered by what I had to say as she was, none of that matters because I can't tell you what I said. I can't tell you because, because...

Fuck! I can't even tell you why I can't tell you.

So feel free to let your imagination run away with you, if that's what you want to do. I made the girl who's probably the only person to love me in over a decade - maybe ever for all I know - cry. I deserve whatever ire your imagination can generate, because I knew before I said anything what the outcome was going to be, and I still said it.

SCRIBBLERESQUE PARENTHETICAL THOUGHT: This is completely unrelated, but I'm looking at the comic at davethepa's journal as I write this, and I really wish I could draw. I should work on that I think.

Anyway, there are two slightly mitigating factors. First, everything I said was the truth, even though it made zero sense, not even to me. Second, we've had a couple of talks since, and we're okay again. Until next time I suppose. Perhaps she'll learn to not ask questions of me unless she's sure that she wants to know the answer.

Not that I'm blaming her. Not at all. It's my stupid heart's fault. Again.

All of this drama took place at Buckhead's. I'd gone there to pass the time last night, rather than just sit around the house waiting for Nat to show up in my visitor list. Plus, I did need to talk to MixedSignalGirl. Plus they still have Upland Chocolate Stout on tap.

I called her from the Hooter's parking lot, and I made a quick run into that place to talk with my cousin Jeff for a few minutes, then I went across the street to Buckhead's.

As I said, I can't get into the conversation too much. Or at all.

To drink, I had a couple pints of Upland Chocolate Stout (262) and, after MixedSignalGirl had left in tears, I had a Weihenstephaner (311). Then I remembered to order some fried green tomatoes for VigilanteGirl.

I wrote recently that sometimes shit just happens. Well, shit is definitely happening. I wish I could explain it. I wish I could have explained it to MixedSignalGirl, and I wish I could explain it to my readers, and I wish I could explain it to myself.

But I can't, so I must be an asshole.

And that's right back where I started with this entry.

Sunday, January 1, 2006
posted by dave at 11:22 AM in category daily, drink

Anyone who's been sitting on the edge of their seat, waiting for my tale of drunken debauchery, is going to be very disappointed.

It was just not that exciting of a night. It most certainly was not the kind of party that RockGirl suggested.

I went to this very nice house that belongs to a friend of my sister, Dina. I spent the night talking with Dina and her fiancé Kenny and SpoonsGirl and her husband. I didn't know anyone else, and I really didn't see the point of getting to know anyone else. I'm kind of a jerk sometimes, I guess.

So we played some darts. SpoonsGirl's husband and I won two out of three games.

We played some Euchre. I think that Dina and I won 2 out of three games, then later Kenny and I lost two out of three.

To drink I had a couple bottles of Weihenstephaner (295) and a couple bottles of Alaskan Smoked Porter (286).

The highlight of the night, for me, was going outside at about 11:45 and doing my little yearly rehash thingy. Just like last year, I ended up talking with a ghost. But it was okay. I got through it, and came back into the house at about 12:15.

It's 2006. Yay.

Friday, December 30, 2005
posted by dave at 2:37 PM in category daily

Since I'm not going to let myself write about what I want to write about, I'm going to take my frustration out by making the Internet a little bit more boring than it was before.

My to do list for today:

  1. Put on clothes.

  2. Leave house.

  3. Get haircut.

  4. Replace taillight bulb in truck.

  5. Drop Monte Carlo off at garage.

  6. Replace battery in ADT keychain thingy.

  7. Buy cat food.
Okay, I've managed items 1, 2, 4, and 7. I really wanted to do item 3, but she's closed. I also wanted to do item 5, but the guy I need to talk to is off until Tuesday.

That's enough for today I think. I'm going to go downstairs and shoot some pool.

Thursday, December 29, 2005
posted by dave at 12:52 PM in category daily, pictures

Well my initial plan was to try this evil thing for a month and see if it worked out.

My own opinion is that it isn't working. My hair is just so damn fair you can hardly tell it's there. And there are still some gaps around the edges that I'm not convinced are ever going to fill in. There's also a bit of a symmetry problem.

But my sister Neisha says she'll kill me if I don't give it at least another month, and MixedSignalGirl gave me a grooming kit for Christmas, so I'll be sticking with it for a while longer.

Forgive me for this. I'm having one of those bad face days. Plus the phone always does this fisheye thing with close-up pictures. My nose really doesn't take up half my face.

EvilDave

It is kind of neat though. To look at more or less the same face in the mirror for forty years gets a little old. I only wish this face I still see didn't look so old sometimes.

I was also expecting some gray in my facial hair, but there's none. My dad had very little gray when he died at age 56, so I guess I get that from him.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005
posted by dave at 2:56 PM in category daily

For those of you with severe ADD, I wrote way back yesterday about the possibility of DaveFest 2006 at Rich O's.

Well now today I've seen this on Roger's 'blog.

Yay!

Saturday, December 24, 2005
posted by dave at 9:54 AM in category daily

Every year I say I'm going to stop giving out gift certificates, and go back to legitimate gifts. Then, every year when I ask my sisters for a wish-list, they tell me that they want gift certificates because they love shopping so much and they never get to shop for themselves and please don't stop the gift certificates.

So, every year, I end up giving out gift certificates again.

This year my laziness expanded. I gave gift certificates to both of my sisters, my niece Bethany, my nephew Cory, my sister's Neisha's husband Chris, and my sister Dina's fiancé Kenny. This is what everybody wanted, but it really does seem very lazy to me.

I always give money to Neisha so she can shop for "my" gifts for her kids. So I'm always just as surprised as they are by what I give them. Like that one year when I gave Devynne a bunch of panties. Not creepy at all.

I always get my grandmother the same thing every year - some Red Door perfume - so that's no effort.

The only person who gets any effort from me at all is the youngest - my nephew Gehrid. For him I actually went and bought toys.

Anyway, last night was Christmas for the Siltz siblings and their kids.

Since my sisters are the only ones that buy me anything, I usually do pretty well. I got a book I'd specifically asked for, and some other pool and/or beer related things that are quite cool.

All of Dina's gifts made her cry. Except the gift certificate of course. I think next year we're just going to hold Dina down and pinch her since she likes crying so much.

Tonight is the annual Christmas Eve At Grandma's House, where what's left of my father's side of the family gets together and takes pictures of each other. I'm sure that my grandmother will cry a lot when she opens her gifts. Even the perfume which she always knows she's getting. My dad used to get it for her.

Tomorrow I get to sleep in.

Sunday, December 18, 2005
posted by dave at 10:23 PM in category daily, drink

What's this? A beer report on a Sunday?!?

It didn't start out that way, but not many things in my life live up to the promises made at the beginning, so what the fuck.

After I spent all day Saturday working in the prison hospital with that girl, I was feeling a little ripped off. No beer make Dave something something. Or something like that.

Today, after I slept off the 20 hours of work from Saturday, I awoke at about 11:30, just raring to go. Go where, you ask? Back to bed actually. But I didn't.

Instead I went and got part of my Christmas shopping out of the way. A couple of things about that:

  1. Remember when Toys R Us used to have actual toys? Now it's a damn clothing store.

  2. This store called Hobby Lobby was closed. On the Sunday before Christmas. A sign in their door proclaimed This store is closed on Sunday to allow our employees the opportunity to worship with their families. As an agnostic that lives alone, I'm offended by this shoving of the so-called Sabbath into my life, not to mention the rubbing into my face the fact that I have no family to spend my Sunday with. Plus, I really needed to pick some shit up there for Christmas, and now I'll have to go back on a weekday. Fuckers.

So I got about half my shopping done, and because it was still a little bit early, I went to Buckhead's in Jeffersonville to get something to eat.

This was either a brilliant idea or a huge mistake. I haven't decided yet.

As is typical for me, I first checked out the taps. Did my eyes deceive me? No! That's Upland Chocolate Stout! Yay!

I sat at a table and ordered a beer, remembering to get an unchilled glass.

I tried to divert this nagging impulse that had taken over my brain. I really did try.

I relished my Upland Chocolate Stout (44) and I perused the food menu.

I called my cousin Jeff, but he was busy doing some shopping of his own. He said he'd be at the Hooter's across the street from Buckhead's in a couple of hours though.

I called SpikeBoy, but he was on his way to work.

Once the waitress, who recognized me from before, asked me if "that blonde girl" would be joining me, my resolve was all gone.

I called MixedSignalGirl.

So much for that compassionate disassociation thing that I've been trying.

She made the quick drive over to join me for lunch, and we did a bit of catching up. I told her about my Las Vegas trip. Everything about that trip. She told me about her new job, and that her car (the one that she hit the deer with) had finally died so she was driving a new one.

I'd like to say that it was just like old times, but it wasn't. Something was definitely missing. We both noticed it, but neither of us would say it. Not to each other anyway. I'll say it here.

Whatever it was that she felt for me during the Summer, it's gone now. I looked into her eyes and I saw nothing. Serves me right I suppose.

I had another Upland (60). I'd really like to have a beer-off between the chocolate stouts from Upland and Rogue. It just may be possible, since Rich O's is slated to get the Rogue sometime during Saturnalia.

After we'd eaten I walked her out to her new car. It's pretty nice. We exchanged a hug and a quick kiss, and said goodbye. Perhaps for the last time, I dunno.

Kind of sad.

On the way back to my truck, I stuck my head into Hooter's to see if Jeff had arrived yet. I wasn't sure if I'd even recognize him since it's been about nine months. He was there, and I did recognize him.

I sat and talked with Jeff for an hour or so and had a couple glasses of Newcastle (1760). Yummy as always.

I guess that's it.

Friday, December 16, 2005
posted by dave at 6:00 PM in category daily

Cat hair. The bane of my existence.

Cat hair exists in a gaseous form in my house. Cat hair drifts through the air until it comes into contact with a solid substance - usually some dark fabric that I'm wearing - at which point it clings with a tenacity that would make even my Chinese stalker proud.

That strand then acts as a sort of a beacon for other cat hair still floating around, and it all begins to swarm, like moths to a flame, towards its brother.

If I stay really quiet I can almost hear the tiny whump! whump! whump! of all that cat hair slamming into me every second of every minute of every day.

Today the repairman vacuumed approximately a gazillion cubic meters of cat hair from beneath my refrigerator. Enough hair that, if I were so inclined, and if I were an expert in such dark arts, I could conjure up a new cat for every man, woman, and child on Earth, and still have plenty left over for festive holiday decorations.

The repairman couldn't find anything else wrong. "You just had no air flow down there," he told me. "That meant that it took the ice forever to form, if it ever formed at all. You should vacuum under here about every three months."

So that's just great. More work for me, unless I can talk the girl that cleans my house into vacuuming under there for me.

Of course I won't know for sure that everything has been fixed until I see actual ice accumulating in the hopper.

Thursday, December 15, 2005
posted by dave at 11:01 PM in category daily

So what are you supposed to write about when you have nothing worth writing about?

Some people would make up some gripping fiction. Some might write poetry, letting their fingers type what their heart feels. Still others will simply not write anything, and await their muse's reawakening.

What about me? Well I, apparently, write about my refrigerator.

I noticed a couple of days ago that I was low on ice.

I confirmed that the wire shutoff thingy was free to move.

I noticed later that day that I was even lower on ice. I go through a lot of ice in a day.

I checked the icemaker and there was indeed ice in there, just waiting for the roto-doohickey to dump it into the hopper. I took a piece of ice from the hopper and placed in atop the doohickey.

The next morning, to my dismay, I saw that the ice was still there. The roto-doohickey hadn't dumped that perfectly good ice into the hopper all night long.

So yesterday I went and shelled out $129 for a new icemaker and an extra $50 or so for a new water filter since I was at the parts store anyway.

I managed to install these without drowning or electrocuting myself. This was cause for mild surprise and minor celebration.

By the time I went to bed last night, however, the icemaker hadn't filled with water. I figured that something besides the icemaker had been broken all along.

This morning there was ice in the icemaker, but the hopper didn't seem to have any new ice. I repeated my experiment from Tuesday - I put a piece of ice on top of the roto-doohickey and then I went to work.

When I got home from work, the fucking ice was still there, taunting me from the top of the doohickey.

I was back to exactly where I'd started. The thing was making ice, but it wasn't dumping it into the hopper.

But wait! There's more!

This is a side-by-side fridge. While checking the icemaker today I touched the panel that separates the freezer part from the refrigerator part.

Ouch!

The damn thing is too hot to touch!

So something is seriously wrong with my fridge, and now I'll probably have to shell out another zillion dollars to get it fixed or replaced.

Meanwhile, I have no ice. I feel like a fucking caveman or something. But not one from the Ice Age. They had plenty of ice back then, the lucky bastards.

posted by dave at 7:08 AM in category daily

The high point of my day yesterday was replacing the broken ice maker in my refrigerator.

Then I really pushed the envelope by replacing the water filter on the same refrigerator.

I am a wild man.

Friday, December 2, 2005
posted by dave at 9:02 PM in category daily, travel

Standing at a little bar at the Cincinnati airport, I heard a voice, or felt a presence, or smelled a perfume. I don't remember what it was, but something happened. Something that made me turn around.

It ended as quickly as it had begun. It might be her it's her no it's not her. Same hair, similar body, but completely different gait and, once I ran out of the bar and caught up with her, a completely different face.

But the damage was already done.

My first public anxiety attack, right there in terminal B. I could barely walk, I couldn't have spoken if the need had arisen. I stumbled my way from the scene of my disappointment to the seats outside my gate, and I shook. I shook until I remembered my rock. I took my rock out of its pocket and rubbed it with my thumb for about ten minutes, and finally I felt better.

---

The plane was completely full. I had the aisle seat, 29D, and there was a hot girl in the center seat. She kept dozing off and leaning against me. Then she'd wake up and apologize, embarrassed for her transgression. I didn't tell her that it was okay for her to touch me, okay not only because she was hot, but also because it felt good to be useful to someone. If my purpose today was merely to be someone to lean against, to be someone who, by my very presence, helped another person get through a tedious journey, well that was fine with me. Better than nothing, which is what I've been lately.

---

Back when I was much younger and much more afraid of flying, I'd catch myself looking around whatever plane I was on, checking out all of the different people, and wondering are these the people I'm going to die with?

We're all such completely different people. Not just the outward differences though those are the most obvious, but the internal differences, formed from our experiences as we go through life. We are all, by definition and by necessity, different.

But put 200 people on a plane, and no matter what they look like or what their backgrounds are, they're all , for a while at least, sharing the same experience. Perceiving it differently, assigning more or less importance to it, paying more or less attention to it, but for that period while they're all sitting in the same tin can hurtling through the same air towards the same distant destination, their experiences - their life paths if you prefer - they merge.

Of course this happens all the time. You people reading this entry, for example, are all sharing the experience. Every day we encounter other people, other completely autonomous beings, and our lives merge for a bit.

I dunno, maybe I'm drunk.

Sunday, November 13, 2005
posted by dave at 8:55 PM in category daily, dreams

You know what the highlight of my day was?

I went to Target and bought some clothes hangers. Twenty-six regular ones and four of the clippy kind for hanging pants.

I also bought The Fog on DVD, just so it wouldn't look like I'd made a special trip to Target just to buy hangers.

Then to rest up from that adventure, I took a nap and had this dream:

I was in Chicago or New York or some other big city for some boring work thing. I decided to sneak out and do some exploring.

For some reason I didn't have any socks on, and my shoes were hurting my feet, so I figured I'd try to buy myself some socks if I saw any stores.

I got into this elevator and tried to push the top button (floor 101) but it wasn't working. Then some Hispanic guy came in and slid his card into the elevator control panel and the 101 button worked for him. I guess he was special or something.

The elevator, when it got to the top, turned into a sort of slow-motion roller coaster or something. It wound around the top of the city for quite a while. All of the walls were glass and I could see that there was all kinds of touristy shit up at the top of whatever city this was. The Hispanic guy kept pointing out all of the good stores and bars that I should check out. I thought it was nice that he was so down to Earth even though he was special enough to carry the magic elevator card.

Once the elevator/ride stopped, I got off and saw this building that looked like it was from the Flintstones cartoon up the hill. The building and its landscaping was molded out of some yellowish plasticy stuff that felt like it had a five o'clock shadow, plus it was pretty greasy feeling.

I climbed the very steep hill to the Flintstones building, but once I got there they were charging admission to go in and I didn't want to spend my sock money so I just sat with some lady and her kids and we watched the goings-on there at the top of the city.

Saturday, November 12, 2005
posted by dave at 6:59 PM in category daily

I feel like I should write something before I go out tonight, but what I was planning to write about didn't happen.

Maybe I'll write about it not happening.

I didn't go to the cemetery today. I'd been kinda sorta planning to, but I ended up not going.

It's not like it's a big tradition of mine or anything. I haven't been since last October, when I went to a wedding across the street from their graves. I stopped by after the ceremony and sat and told them about all of the bullshit that was going on with me. I told them, even though I don't think I really knew what was going on yet.

I've written here several times, and anyone who knows me at all knows this already, but I'm not comfortable in crowds. Give me one person to talk to and I'm golden. Add a third person and I'll start to let myself fade into the background. Add any more people and I may as well not be there at all.

That cemetery is too crowded.

My parents' graves are, of course, right next to each other. Then, about 20 feet away, lie the graves of my maternal grandparents.

There all right there.

So I can't just go visit Mom, because Dad's there too. I can't talk to just one of them. I have to visit them both. Then, I have to go visit my grandmother. And by the time I'm ready to leave what was supposed to have been a cleansing experience has instead left me emotionally exhausted.

The thing is - there are things that I'd like to discuss privately with each of them, but there's no way. Forget the fact that they're all dead and they can't hear me anyway. I mean if one of them could hear me then they all could. I can't tell my dad about the latest hot sex I had because my mom's right there and I can't talk to Mom about how much I miss LaptopGirl because Dad would call me a pansy, and I certainly can't talk about any of that stuff with my grandmother listening in anyway.

It's all pretty silly, and I know it is. Those bodies in the ground, they stopped being the people I loved the moment they died. Whatever was left of them, if there was anything left at all, it didn't go into the ground. So why does this culture of mine place such significance on rest in peace and why do we visit graves and leave notes and flowers?

I guess it gives us someplace to go, when we miss them and we want to be near them. I guess a gravesite is as good a place as any. Until it gets too crowded.

Thursday, November 10, 2005
posted by dave at 11:41 PM in category daily

101.2F

38.44C

311.59K

That's how hot I am.

Fevers always knock me on my ass.

posted by dave at 5:18 PM in category daily

EwokGirl has been coughing and sneezing in the next cubicle all week long, proudly announcing to everyone how she still comes in to work when she's sick.

What she doesn't seem to realize, what I have been trying to tell her, is that sick days are provided for the coworkers as much as they are for the person that's sick. So they don't get contaminated.

Oops.

Not having a thermometer at work, I'm forced to rely on the feel of my eyelids against my eyes to judge my temperature.

I have a fever.

Thanks a lot, EwokGirl.

Sunday, November 6, 2005
posted by dave at 12:10 AM in category daily

On the way home tonight I stopped to see this girl I know. She has recently been diagnosed with a thyroid disorder, and apparently the medication is causing her to gain some weight.

So far, all that the weight gain has done is (a) Make her look human, and (b) Give her really nice tits.

Friday, November 4, 2005
posted by dave at 8:15 PM in category daily

I'm just going to go ahead and predict that tonight will suck.

I'm not in the mood for going out, but I know that if I stay home then Rich O's will have The Most Exciting Night Ever and I'll feel worse for missing it.

My fucking toe hurts today. I stepped on Happy's stupid slipper that he stole from me, and it bent my toe back about a half inch. That may not seem like much, but it was plenty.

What I should do is stay home, drink this lovely bottle of Rogue Imperial Stout that I bought the other day, and write my entry to close out the year. That's what I should do.

Well, my shirt is dewrinkled so off I go.

Yay.

Wednesday, November 2, 2005
posted by dave at 7:33 PM in category daily

Okay, this is a little embarrassing.

Since my electric company finally joined the 21st century last year, I can pay all of my bills via the Internet.

All of my bills but one.

My damn water company, with its miniscule monthly bill, still clings to the antiquated, dilapidated, and outdated bill-paying system of having to write an actual check and mail it to them.

This is beyond annoying. It's barely worth the effort - and the cost of the stamp - to make the stupid payment. So what I do is I send them a check for $100 every few months. Then I'll have several months in a row with a positive balance so I don't have to bother with them.

Every once in a while though, as in twice in the past six years, I procrastinate to the point where I get my water cut off.

The first time this happened was May 2003.

The second time was today.

Grrrrr.

I dug through my pile of mail, and the bill is for $14.66, and the due date was October 15th. Yes, my water company has cut me off for being three weeks late on a $14.66 bill.

So tomorrow I get to go to my sister's house and use her no-water-pressure-having shower, then go pay my water bill (I should pay in pennies, but I won't) before I go to work.

posted by dave at 8:14 AM in category daily

On the bridge, on the way to work this morning, I saw something funny.

Eight cars in a little mini-pileup. The first guy had been rear-ended, then the guy that did the rear-ending had been rear-ended himself, and so on until there were eight cars occupying the space of what five cars should take.

I thought this was funny because (a) even though no police or ambuli had arrived yet, everyone was out of their cars, meaning nobody got hurt seriously, and (b) I'm sure they all deserved it because THEY WERE FOLLOWING TOO FUCKING CLOSE! and (c) it just looked funny because each car had its nose buried under the ass of the car in front of it and (d) because I was in the right lane so I didn't get inconvenienced very much.

Sunday, October 30, 2005
posted by dave at 7:13 PM in category daily, travel

At one point under the bridge, there was this little "creek" that had to be crossed by hopping/walking across some strategically-placed rocks.

There was this kid, maybe fifteen or so, who would step onto the first rock, causing it to wobble, then he would get scared and jump back to dry land.

After watching this four or five times I told the kid to get out of my way and let an old man with a broken toe show him how it's done.

After that first wobbly rock everything else was steady, and I made it across easily.

The kid was still scared, still standing there afraid of the six-inch deep water. So I did what had to be done. I called him a pussy and left him in my wake.

posted by dave at 6:44 PM in category daily, pictures, travel

I always wanted us to go, but she kept putting it off. "One of these days," she'd always say. She was never much of an outdoorsy person.

Well, today I realized that there was no point in waiting for that magical day any longer. We weren't going to be going anywhere anymore.

So I went to the damn place by myself.

Going with a broken toe? Maybe not so brilliant. But I had a fucking point to make.

Since I'd never been there before, I just parked at the first parking lot I saw. How was I supposed to know that there was a real visitor area just down the road? Anyway, here's the view from where I parked.

Ohio River Falls

For some reason when I got here I had to pee.

Ohio River Falls

Looking up at the old bridge. I think they're talking about making this a pedestrian walkway, but it may be a completly different bridge for all I know.

Ohio River Falls

My cellphone camera couldn't handle the contrast apparently.

Ohio River Falls

I was surprised, for some reason, to see sand on the river's bank.

Ohio River Falls

Waaaay over there is Kentucky.

Ohio River Falls

At one point I found that I'd left the beaten path, so I beat my own.

Ohio River Falls

These rocks were pretty cool. I wish my toe had allowed pain-free jumping around on them.

Ohio River Falls

Just a bunch of logs that the river has deposited over the years.

Ohio River Falls

The tree was pretty much growing out of solid rock.

Ohio River Falls

A view back toward the bridge from the real visitor center.

Ohio River Falls

---

After I left the park, I went over to The Pub and had a Newcastle (1704) and then a Young's Double Chocolate Stout (243) with my lunch.

That Young's is a beautiful beer in draft form. Yummy.

Friday, October 28, 2005
posted by dave at 7:06 AM in category daily

Several years ago, one of my cousins missed three days of work because he threw out his back.

I'm pretty sure he told the people he worked with that he'd injured himself doing something manly. Bullriding, perhaps. Or maybe anvil juggling.

Not the truth, though. Certainly not the truth, that he'd taken a mighty swing while playing wiffleball and that's how he'd hurt his back.

He'd have never lived that down.

At least his injury was a real one. Back problems can be truly incapacitating, as my cousin has pointed out to us at every opportunity for the past several years.

Nobody's going to make fun of you for having an injured back. So, as long as you have a good story about how you got injured, you're safe from teasing.

Not quite the same situation as the one I'm in.

My injury is quite possibly the most pathetic one possible.

I bwoke my widdlest piggy.

It's amazing how such a tiny appendage can cause so much pain. Why do we even need our pinkie toes? I think that, if the doctor had offered, I'd have allowed him to snip the thing off yesterday.

So I'm working from home today. I'm doing this because my toe is taped up and I cannot put a shoe on over it. Actually, maybe I could, but it would hurt. A lot. So I'm not going to chance it.

This is the most pansified reason for staying home that I've ever heard of.

Thursday, October 27, 2005
posted by dave at 5:44 AM in category daily

Apparently I've broken my pinkie toe and the one next to it. Either that or I've just jammed the fuck out of them.

They are both a lovely brown-purple-black color.

So, ouch!

Sunday, October 16, 2005
posted by dave at 10:12 AM in category daily

First thing I did last night was deal with the situation. I called MixedSignalGirl up. I told her that I wasn't angry anymore. That I just wanted to hear her side of the story.

That was a lie. I was still angry, but the longer I waited the worse it got, so I just wanted to get it over with, and see what kind of damage control was needed.

So we agreed to meet at Buckhead's. I got there early, she got there late. This was always one of our trademarks. When she arrived, she just happened to be wearing the top that's always been my favorite on her. She said that she was going out with some friends later, and had already picked that outfit before I'd called.

That was a lie. She never really liked that top, but she'd wear it because I'd bought it for her.

The tension between us was just incredible. I couldn't believe that I was having this conversation with her. That it had come to this. To my having to smile and say that it was okay. To her saying that she was sorry.

Two lies, one from each of us.

In the end, I guess it wasn't as bad as I'd first been told. I guess I understand why she did it. I sure as fuck wish that she hadn't, but I've done one or two or a gazillion stupid things myself.

She said that she did it to try to make me happy. To give me that little push and force me to cross that line that I'd been afraid to cross.

That was a lie.

The real reason she did it was so that she and I would be having that conversation. She wanted to see me, but she didn't want to just call me up and say she missed me. She couldn't do that, not after she'd so efficiently and coldly left me at Sully's three nights earlier. So, in her drunken state, she did something that was sure to get my attention. Something that would result in me calling her.

Well it obviously worked. There we sat.

After a while, the tension decreased a little bit. We tried to talk about other things, but no words would come out. We spent most of an hour just picking at our food. In the past we'd joked that it's felt like we'd been breaking up for months, and we should just get it over with. Last night, it didn't feel that way. Last night, the breakup was an immutable part of our past, and it loomed behind us like a shadowy figure in a dark alley.

I knew what was coming. It was inevitable. The question.

You wanna fuck?
She always has such a way with words.

I turned down her eloquent offer. Told her that I had plans.

That was a lie. I had no plans other than going to Rich O's. Going home with her instead just seemed pointless. We've had more sex since we broke up in the Winter than we ever had when we were an actual couple. I never wanted a fuckbuddy. Like I said, pointless.

Saturday, October 8, 2005
posted by dave at 6:59 PM in category daily

I'm supposed to be in New Albany in three minutes.

Seeing as how I'm still sitting here with wet hair, I don't think I'm going to make it.

I woke up from a nap, and I thought it was 5:30, so I've been dicking around for an hour and a half.

Oops.

One of my nephews is playing in a band or something. They're not supposed to start until 7:30, but supposedly they could start early. I hope not, or I'll miss it.

Me so stoopid!

Saturday, October 1, 2005
posted by dave at 10:48 AM in category daily

*wakes up*

*takes a piss*

"Wow, that was kind of fucked up."

*picks up keys*

*gets on with life*

Tuesday, September 27, 2005
posted by dave at 12:34 AM in category daily

I'm bored, and I'm lonely, and I'm wide awake.

Nothing good can come from this.

Saturday, September 17, 2005
posted by dave at 12:53 PM in category daily

I was afraid this might happen.

I've got nothing for you people.

Maybe later.

Friday, September 16, 2005
posted by dave at 4:41 AM in category daily

So I was talking with this girl today and she started babbling about something or another.

I don't know this girl's name. She's only been here for a few weeks. I haven't quite decided if she's pretty or not, but she does wear glasses and have brown hair, so that's a big plus. Like I said, I don't know her name, and we've never talked before. She probably knows who I am because I'm like famous and shit.

Anyway.

She's talking about some crap and how she was supposed to go out drinking last night with her friends but she didn't feel like it because she had to work today and because she's still upset about the situation with dad and her dog and...

Huh?

Filthy-minded degenerate that I am, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she'd caught her dad and her dog in a compromising position.

I really think something like that would pretty much guarantee that I'd go out drinking.

Thursday, September 15, 2005
posted by dave at 11:20 PM in category daily

Well, everyone can relax and get on with their lives now.

I found my book.

Where was it?

Why in my Intrepid of course, buried under some mail that I took out of the mailbox last week but never bothered to bring into the house.

How did it get there?

This is clearly the work of the liberal media. Or maybe it was part of some vast right-wing conspiracy. I guess it could be gnomes that sneak into my house every night to hide stuff.

It's most certainly not because I'm going senile..

posted by dave at 12:46 AM in category daily, drink

Well, that was exciting.

Stopped by to see VigilanteGirl on the way to the bar. She wanted me to stay but I'm afraid of getting her into trouble at work again, so I didn't stick around very long.

Rich O's was pretty dead. I sat on the sofa and a couple of strangers, who came in at the same time I did, sat on the loveseat. I didn't talk to them because I'm pretty sure that they were idiots. The girl drank coffee and the guy asked for something lighter than Upland Wheat. What a pussy.

Rich O's is out of Baltika 6 Porter. Waaaaaaaaaaaah! Why does everything I love go away? Waaaaaaaah!

So I had a Spezial Rauchbier (710) and then a Young's Double Chocolate Stout (166).

It was pretty boring there, so I left after the two beers and went to Wal-Mart to buy The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I also picked up a new computer game and a CD. I can't remember the name of the guy on the CD, and it's all the way in the kitchen so it's too far to go look. It's got that song Beautiful Soul on it. I love that song. If I ever do karaoke again it'll probably be that song.

There was a yellow tabby kitty in the parking lot when I left the store. I followed it around for a few minutes calling "Here kitty kitty kitty!" but it was too timid to let me get too close. I really should carry cat treats in my pockets for occasions like this.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005
posted by dave at 8:35 PM in category daily

Dewrinkling a shirt, letting it run through the dryer, and I have a little bit of time to kill. Figured I'd pass some of this boredom on to you readers.

Anyway.

One of my friends - I call her my lesbian girlfriend actually - seems to think that I'm gay. She seems obsessed with the idea actually. At first I thought she was just trying to break me out of this funk by getting me all riled up. Now I'm not so sure. Perhaps she actually thinks that I am the gay. This is the kind of thing that would have really bothered be back when I was younger and more closed-minded. Now I'd just kind of like to prove her wrong. So I'll be taking volunteers to help me demonstrate my non-gayness at Rich O's this weekend. Please, ladies, no pushing and shoving. Everyone will get their turn.

Tomorrow I get to re-register all of my cars and get them emission tested. As an added bonus, I get to run by the courthouse and pay some of my property tax bill. Woo Hoo!

I'm driving to Cincy Friday for this vendor demo thingy. It would be even better if I didn't have to drive back to Louisville and work afterwards. I could have probably used a night in Cincy.

The people at work are all into this fantasy football stuff, and I have to listen to them yack and yammer about it all day long. One of the few things I hate worse than actual football is fantasy football.

I had this incredibly stupid idea for an entry this morning. I actually wrote quite a bit of it before I realized just how stupid it was. Then I came up with slightly less stupid idea, and started writing it out, until I realized that it was mostly about the shit that I'm supposed to be bottling up. Now I kind of have this idea for a new series of entries, but I haven't gotten passed the initial idea stage yet.

They seem to have stopped making Diet Vanilla Coke. This makes me very sad. Now I have to choke down Diet Vanilla Pepsi or *gasp* regular non-vanilla Diet Coke.

It's almost Fall. I've got several anniversaries coming up. People dying. People leaving. A few birthdays too, but mostly sad stuff.

*ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* *ding*

Well, that's my dryer signaling the end of its cycle. Time to take my wrinkle-free self to the bar.

Sunday, September 11, 2005
posted by dave at 1:34 AM in category daily

My sleep schedule was all messed up, so I didn't even get to Rich O's until after 10:00. Accordingly, I only had two beers; a Delirium Tremens (347) and then a Guinness (841).

The place was pretty empty, at least of people that I felt like talking to, so I just sat at the bar and pretended that I was happy.

Since this is such a short entry, I'll add some shit.

1. I didn't go to the Lanesville Heritage thingy again this year. My sleep schedule was just too messed up, so I ended up napping during the time I'd planned to go.

2. The new Applebee's in New Albany sucks donkey dicks. Maybe they all do. I wouldn't know - this is the first one I've ever been to. They did have bottles of Guinness (821) though, so I had two.

3. I drove the Monte Carlo around today. With Fall and Winter approaching, I won't have as many opportunities to drive it. So I'm taking advantage of what I've got.

4. Today, VigilanteGirl was wearing one of the Hard Rock shirts I bought her. She looks quite fetching in it. Dare I say yummy? Yes I do dare it. Yummy!

5. VigilanteGirl has tentatively agreed to go see that exorcism movie with me next weekend. I'll believe it when I see it.

6. I think that the hot girl from last weekend may have been an Internet stalker. That would be cool I think.

7. MixedSignalGirl used the "L" word with me today, then quickly retracted it and denied ever saying it. This is the type of thing from which nicknames are born.

8. RealTrainGirl is trying to expand the holes in her ears. I expect that in a year or so she'll have dinner plates instead of earrings.

9. My barenada.com readers seem to be pissed at me. Since I started duplicating everything at journalspace.com the number of daily messages I've received at my original site has dropped by about half.

10. I was going to make this an even 10, but I can't think of anything right now.

Saturday, September 10, 2005
posted by dave at 8:45 AM in category daily

I don't think I mentioned ButterFace and Nerdlinger the other day. They were at Rich O's again last night. ButterFace reminds me of someone but I don't know who. With the body she's got, she could definitely do better than Nerdlinger.

Anyway, when I got to Rich O's, the place only had a half-dozen people in it. I mean in Rich O's proper - there were a bunch of people out front and in the loser area.

The problem was, the half-dozen people were so scattered about the place. Nowhere were there three seats where my friends and I could sit without invading somebody's territory.

So that's what we did. We grabbed some seats at the island next to some people that I don't know.

It was quite cool to see MisunderstoodGirl again. She was her usual bubbly and outgoing self. Not. Still cool though.

Let's see, I started off with a Spezial Rauchbier (680), and I pretty much had that finished by the time the girls arrived. Next I had a Baltika "6" (158) so I could continue my ongoing love affair with that lovely beer.

Oh yeah, I did buy the girls their first beers as payment for being so good at pretending.

RealTrainGirl keeps bugging me to go to this Oktoberfest thingy. When I hear the word Oktoberfest I figure it's all about lagers, and since I don't like lagers I don't want to go.

Lanesville, my first hometown, is having this heritage festival this weekend. Every year I tell myself that I should go and check it out, and every year I end up not going. I imagine that this year will be no different, but as of this writing I'm still planning to head down there later today. We'll see.

Once my Baltika was gone I had a half-glass of Spezial (690).

It was one of those nice and pleasant evening that I've come to loathe, but it was much better than the last few boring nights at Rich O's have been. I enjoyed myself.

On the way home I was feeling nostalgic so I went into this bar near my home that had been my Dad's old hangout. I was going to have a Falls City in his honor but they no longer carry it. That fact, more than anything else, told me that times have indeed changed. I was, however, pleasantly surprised to see Newcastle so I had a bottle of that (1632).

Then when I got home I was going to read some 'blogs but InsightBB decided to crap out again so I just went to bed.

Friday, September 9, 2005
posted by dave at 7:56 PM in category daily

Got off work a couple of hours ago. At least I got off my day job.

The real work begins in about an hour.

I just got out of the shower. My clothes for the night are dewrinkling in the dryer. My hair is still damp but I don't have much so it'll dry soon enough.

Before too long, it'll be time to really go to work.

Don't try to tell me that pretending to be a person all night isn't work, 'cause it is. Hard work.

Now I know why all those actors and actresses in the movies get paid so much. They get paid for pretending to be somebody they're not, and they do it well.

Now me, I don't usually do such a good job. I don't fool many people, I don't think. My performances are just too wooden - too obviously choreographed.

Because of my lackluster performances, I don't get paid all that much. Every now and then somebody will buy me a beer or something, but that's about it.

RealTrainGirl called me this evening to see if I wanted to meet her and MisunderstoodGirl at Rich O's. Duh. Of course I do. Those two are good at pretending that I'm giving a realistic portrayal of a person. Actually, they're better at pretending than I am. Maybe I should buy them beers.

You know how every time you run water you start thinking that the phone's ringing?

:cricket chirping:

Okay, fellow crazy people only: You know how every time you run water you start thinking that the phone's ringing?

:pin dropping, coyote howling:

Well maybe it's just me. Every time I get in the shower I start imagining that the phone's ringing. So I turn off the faucet and it's nothing. Then when I stand at the sink shaving I start imagining that the phone's ringing. So I, once again, turn off the faucet and it's, once again, nothing.

Except for tonight. Tonight when I was shaving, and I imagined that the phone was ringing, it really was ringing. It was my friend Eric.

So I guess I'm only crazy 99% of the time.

The moral of this story is that I'm bored, and I don't really want to go to work tonight.

Wednesday, September 7, 2005
posted by dave at 9:57 PM in category daily

The voicemail message was not encouraging. There was no real news, but this was one of those situations where no news wasn't necessarily a good thing.

Something bad was happening. Something terrible was potentially happening - may have already happened during the time between when the message was left and when I finally noticed my blinking phone.

Before I returned the call, I took a few minutes to start preparing for the worst. Planning my reaction. Rehearsing my lines. The show must go on and all that crap.

It was, as it turned out, a false alarm. As false as it could have been I suppose. I felt myself exhale, finally, mercifully.

I would not have to feign humanity tonight.

Saturday, September 3, 2005
posted by dave at 12:23 PM in category daily, drink

You know, I'm sitting here, beginning another double-venue entry, and I just don't see the point. This will be very brief and it will still be too long.

Yesterday afternoon we had lunch at The Red Star. I had a Goose Island Honker's Ale (84). Seemed a little more bitter than it was in Chicago, but that may have just been my mood.

Next I had a draft Bluegrass Dark Star Porter (110). Pretty good I guess, but I'm starting to think that this beer is nothing but burnt malt, with a little burnt chocolate in it.

Last night, Rich O's was completely full of idiots. I grabbed a seat on the sofa where I was treated to some words of wisdom from this old lady who was there with her grandkids or great great great grandkids or something.

I bet that 90% of the people that stayed in New Orleans only stayed so they could rob the houses of the people that had evacuated.
You racist bitch.

I almost spit out some of my precious Delirium Tremens (337) when I heard that one.

The next vomit to leave this woman's mouth was this, about 'blogging:

What happens is, these 'bloggers get a consensus about some current event, then they write about it, and there's a discussion about it.
You utter moron.

This is pretty much the exact opposite of what 'bloggers do.

At about this time I got shit from one of my friends for not wanting to drive eleven zillion miles to sit around and do nothing but drink. I can sit around and do nothing but drink at Rich O's (much closer to my home) and there's always a chance that somebody that's not retarded may come in and make an interesting evening of it.

Also at about this time I ordered a Baltika "6" Porter (142). Yummy.

But my favorite idiocy of the night came from one of the great great great great grandkids. He was sitting on the loveseat, reading a food menu, and he stopped the bartender and asked:

Hey, Chief, can we get food here?
I so wanted the bartender to tell him that sorry, the menus are for decoration only. But he didn't.

When these people finally left (off to a Mensa meeting no doubt) the old lady dug out some Mardi Gras necklaces for me. That was nice of her, but she's still not getting any. I gave the red necklace to TallLady, and after a while Bubbles came in so she got the purple necklace. I'm saving the green one for VigilanteGirl.

The Tremens had, as I'd known it would, screwed up my drinking schedule, so I only had the two beers. I got home a little after 10:00 and watched The Blues Brothers.

Wow, this entry turned out to be a lot longer than I'd expected. Still boring though.

Monday, August 22, 2005
posted by dave at 5:20 AM in category comics, daily

I dumped 43 5-gallon buckets of dirt into my hole yesterday.

So, for the moment anyway, it looks a lot less like a hole and more like a patch of dirt.

But let's hold off on the celebrations for a bit, okay?

Even though I piled dirt up to ground level, I didn't even come close to actually filling the hole. Here is a highly accurate (and to scale, and beautiful) view of what I'm talking about:

hole view

See, there's an awful lot of empty space that the dirt didn't get to. I'll have to wait for a good hard rain to cause the dirt to settle some more, then I can dump more dirt into the hole.

Gives me something to look forward to.

Saturday, August 20, 2005
posted by dave at 12:54 PM in category comics, daily, drink

I very nearly stayed home all night last night.

I wanted to go have a beer, but going to the dentist messed up my jaw. I was just in terrible pain, and could hardly move my mouth at all. That'll teach me to get a cavity in a back tooth. It's just too hard for the dentist to reach back there without nearly breaking my jaw to do it.

So by the time the Novocain wore off my tooth wasn't hurting at all, but my jaw was just killing me. I still wanted to go out, but first I had to eat something. I nuked some cheese bread and somehow managed to get it down by taking small bites and only using the right side of my mouth. It was still excruciating though.

I got to Rich O's a little bit before 10:00 and grabbed a seat in the living room area next to some people I don't know.

To drink, I had myself a Baltika "6" Porter. I cannot stress enough how much I like this beer. I may just marry it.

The people in the living room area kept trying to suck me into their conversation. I was in no mood for it, so I moved to the bar and began trying to decide what my next beer would be. I was leaning toward another Baltika but something even stronger might have helped ease the pain in my jaw, so I was considering some Belgians.

impact

What was left of me didn't even think. I got the hell out of there as quickly as I could.

Some people are just good. Some people will always be there for you when you need them. No matter how much pain you've caused them in the past. No matter how much pain you promise for the future. When you need them, they come through for you , no questions asked, and no expectations.

I'm not one of those people. I wish I was, and I'm closer to it than most people I know, but I'm not one of them.

Last night, when I left Rich O's, I went to see one of these good people.

I didn't have to say a word. MixedSignalGirl could see it in my face. She knew that I wouldn't just show up like that unannounced. She knew what had happened, and she pulled me to her.

Driving home this morning, I found myself wondering just what we'd done to deserve each other.

I must have done something really wonderful.

She must have done something terrible.

I will never understand what she sees in me. I will never be able to give her what she deserves. But I will also never forget last night, and I will be her friend for as long as she'll let me.

Friday, August 19, 2005
posted by dave at 7:58 AM in category daily

Well here it is. Friday again.

Another weekend staring me in the face. Challenging me to do something.

I'm a little hesitant. I'm in this mood after all. No longer a bad mood but not quite a good one either. I guess you could call me content. But I'm sure this is only temporary. I think I could tip in either direction, and I'm not sure that I want to.

If I become depressed or sad, that'll be yet another setback in a seemingly endless stream of setbacks.

If I develop an actual good mood then I'm afraid that my face will crack and fall apart from the smiling, and that would probably gross everybody out.

I kind of want to go over to Fourth Street Live tonight. Eat some dinner, drink some Young's Double Chocolate Stout at The Pub. That could be fun.

We'll see. I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and sometimes it takes hours and hours for the numbness in my mouth to go away. No sense eating a good meal and drinking good beer if I can't taste any of it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005
posted by dave at 7:20 AM in category daily

Slept all night last night, so I'm caught up for the first time in a long time. Odd to actually be alert in the morning.

Today I'm having a bunch of dirt delivered so I can try to do something about this damn hole in my back yard. This thing has so far eluded every attempt to fill it. It's becoming hourglassed so filling it isn't as easy as just dumping dirt in. If I knew for sure just how deep this old cistern was I'd be tempted to just drive my truck over the area a few times to cave it in. I guess it's good that I don't drink at home.

Wow, this was an exciting entry.

Maybe I'll spice it up a bit...with pictures!!!

hole

This is the hole. Doesn't look like much but it opens up very quickly and may go all the way to Hell.

dirt

Here's the dirt I bought to hopefully fill the hole. I half-expect that I'll be ordering more dirt.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005
posted by dave at 8:18 PM in category daily

Something has happened.

I'm not really sure why it happened, but I do know when. It happened yesterday evening while I was at Rich O's listening to yet another asshole badmouth someone who wasn't there to defend herself.

Instead of becoming angry, as I have recently, this time I just listened. A bunch of shitheads that I hardly know at all making fun of someone who's more wonderful than all of them put together.

How, I found myself wondering, could the entire world be so wrong about her? How come I, and a few of our mutual friends, are the only ones able to see beyond the actions of the past, beyond the quirky and misunderstood exterior, and see what's really there, what's really important?

So I was thinking about how wrong the world was, and something happened.

Something inside me shifted gears. Something inside me switched itself off. Something inside me fell out of love and went back to simply missing a friend.

I know, and anyone who's read anything here in the past year knows, that my moods are ever-changing. Nothing lasts forever, and in my case, nothing seems to last for more than a few days at the most. I expect my mood to change again before too much time has passed.

But for now, but for now at least, I'm a normal person. No longer a person that fears that he's met, and lost, the love of his life. Just a person that's lost a friend.

Every feeling I've tried so hard to suppress is dormant. All that remains is kindness. Affection. Fondness. That annoying habit I'd developed of objectifying her? Gone. Those countless hours spent agonizing over past indecision? No longer needed. The drifting I've been doing for weeks? I'm grounded now.

I'm just a guy that misses his friend, and nothing more. All is as it should be.

At least for now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Thursday, August 11, 2005
posted by dave at 8:17 PM in category daily, drink

I'm still quite wiped out. I don't understand how I can still be so tired.

So after work I went to Rich O's to meet up with RealTrainGirl. I needed to tell her what happened Tuesday night, plus it's always good to see her.

To drink, I had a Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier Dunkel (91) and then a Guinness (712).

RealTainGirl and I plan to go to the Cumberland Brewpub Friday night. I hate plans, but I've really been needing something to do besides visiting the ghost at Rich O's every weekend.

Oh yeah, I was also supposed to take a look at VigilanteGirl's computer tonight, but I've been stood up. For something she asked me to do. Women. Typical. Hmmph.

So now it's not even 8:30 and I'm going to try to get some sleep. Maybe I'll actually catch up and not be exhausted all day tomorrow.

posted by dave at 6:55 AM in category daily

This will finish up my Boston Monday story, started here and continued here.

When I first went into Boston Beer Works and ordered my first beers, I grabbed a seat at the bar next to this chick. Didn't really pay too much attention to her when I sat down, because that would have been rude. I just made sure that the seat wasn't taken already, then sat down.

Well the damn beers came with fruit in them and I just had to make sarcastic comments to somebody, so I chose the girl next to me. We got to talking about various crap like where we're from and what we're doing in Boston. My story is boring: I'm from Southern Indiana and I'm in Boston for work. Her story is fascinating: She's from England and she's in Boston because she's traveling the world.

Not since MaineGirl have I ever met anyone that was so friendly and outgoing and charming with a complete stranger. EnglishGirl and I spent the entire night talking, mostly about her adventure.

She's traveling the world alone, staying in youth hostels, and having the adventure of a lifetime. She has a twin sister who, if she can get over her fear of flying, will be meeting her soon in Washington DC. She's seen nobody in her family for four months. So far she's been to (if I recall correctly) New Zealand, Australia, Los Angeles, and Boston.

The girl was just nice and friendly and endearing- everything that someone her age (23) is not supposed to be, especially toward a complete stranger 17 years older than her. She was also (surprise!) a cute brunette with glasses.

One of the guys I was traveling with asked me the next day if anything had happened between me and EnglishGirl. I told him that nothing had, and it was the truth. I've stated here before that I'm not a one-night-stand type of guy, and I couldn't very well say something like that and then proceed to have two of them in less than 3 months. I don't know if it was even possible. What I do know is that, at a fairly late point in the evening, I became concerned that it could be possible. I also became concerned that, if anything were to happen, EnglishGirl would start to think that I'd just been talking to her all night so I could get into her pants.

The thought of this, of her lumping me into the same category as every other fucking guy on the planet, didn't appeal to me at all, so I actually disappeared right when the bar kicked us out. Just grabbed a cab and left.

Now I've been kicking myself ever since.

Not because I should have tried to get into her pants. Not that at all. I'm kicking myself because I should have at least given her my e-mail address. I became very wrapped up in her story. I'm really excited that she'll get to see her sister again soon. I want to, maybe not keep in touch with this girl, but at least have the chance to let her know how fun my evening was because of her.

So I'd wanted to return to the Beer Works on Tuesday, but I was just too damn tired. I didn't get a chance to tell her what I wanted to. I don't know her last name, and she doesn't know mine. I figure I'll never see or hear from her again, and I think that really sucks.

I have a few readers (that I know of) in England. I know that even though it's a fairly small country, you don't all know each other. But I do think that there's at least a small chance that somebody out there knows this girl.

If she sounds familiar to you at all, please use the Say Something Dammit form to let me know. Tell me her first name and that should confirm it. I also know her sister's name. If you know her, and can give her my e-mail address, I will owe you about a zillion beers if we should ever meet.

I just don't like the way I tore out of there, and I'd like another chance to properly thank her for such a wonderful evening.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005
posted by dave at 2:38 PM in category daily

Okay, I'm back from Boston.

I had a lot of fun on Monday night. I have at least two entries to write up. For now I'm too tired though.

How do you get jet lag when you don't change time zones?

Saturday, August 6, 2005
posted by dave at 1:32 PM in category daily

Last night I saw a friend's car in a store parking lot, so I wrote a quick little note and left it under her windshield wiper.

I guess she drove all the way home with this note - never noticing it - and then saw it this morning.

So she calls me up wondering how I knew where she lived.

She must have been imagining me skulking around her house in the middle of the night, with my pants around my ankles no doubt, peering into her windows, only pausing long enough to leave my note.

Wednesday, August 3, 2005
posted by dave at 8:02 PM in category daily

I still owe an entry for Tuesday night, but for now I just wanted to say that I'm back home.

I came back a day early due to a family emergency. Or maybe it's just a family thing. Yes, I think that's it, a thing. Next week's Boston trip may be in jeopardy as well, or everything may be fine by then.

Tuesday, August 2, 2005
posted by dave at 7:15 AM in category daily, travel

Just a couple of things.

There has not been enough free time to go to any of the places on my list, so now I've added Chicago to my short list of places to visit some upcoming weekend.

I've been drinking Goose Island Honkers Ale and Guinness almost exclusively.

There's a waitress at McCormick and Schmick's that I cannot take my eyes off of. Guess what her hair color is, and then guess how good her eyesight is.

Tonight we're going to a White Sox game. I remain cautiously hopeful that it will actually be fun.

Saturday, July 30, 2005
posted by dave at 10:07 AM in category daily, drink

When I last went to my old Kent, Washington hangout back in '03, I'd been hoping to see it exactly as I'd left it. Even though I'd been gone for three years. Well, they hadn't just mothballed the place and wrapped it in plastic to wait for my return. Time had continued to march forward, the fucker.

There were an awful lot of people there that I had never seen before. In MY bar. It was a little disconcerting having to look around for people that I knew. I used to know everyone.

That disconcerting feeling is the same one I've been having when I enter Rich O's lately. Last night, as is typical for Fridays, the place was full of strangers. I spent the first part of the night either talking with MusicalHippeeDude and TallLady at the bar, or sitting on the sofa trying not to interact with some retarded people.

When I first went in, I saw that NABC had brought one of their old beers back. I couldn't remember if I'd liked it or not, so I ordered one:

New Albanian Kaiser 2nd Reising

(draft) I'd never call myself a pilsner fan, so I didn't have great expectations for this beer. Having said that, this just wasn't very good. A little citrusy, and a little bit of some odd flavor that I cannot pin down. Must be the corn. Hey, at least I tried it.

I guess I drank about two inches, which was more than enough, and then I switched back to beers I know I like. Specifically, a Smithwick's and then a Bell's Porter.

The retarded people apparently know this guy named Dave, and he is apparently the center of their universe. It was Dave this and Dave that all night long. I was trying hard not to eavesdrop, and trying equally hard not to stare at the retarded girl's breasts - easier said than done, they were right there - but I wasn't especially successful at either endeavor.

Eventually these girls (more strangers) left the island so I moved up there and was quickly joined by CuteBlonde and this dude that I didn't remember but that seemed to remember me.

For my last beer I held a gun to the bartender's head and forced him to sell me a 2004 Alaskan Smoked Porter. Man I miss that beer.

Today I really wanted to go to Indianapolis for this microbrew thingy, but I've got to harvest my lawn (it's way past mowing) and then do some laundry. I'm going to Chicago in the morning and I guess clean clothes would be useful.

Early in the night I sent off a text message to my friend Eric, inviting him and his wife to Rich O's. I guess they were busy. Kids can do that to you.

Oh yeah, I talked with VigilanteGirl for a while on the phone. I apologized for being unavailable lately, and assured her that it's not just her that's become an innocent victim of my mood.

Speaking of my mood, I was actually able to depress myself a little bit last night. This news I got Thursday has irritated me just enough that my mind has started looking for something else to occupy it. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised at what it found.

Thursday, July 28, 2005
posted by dave at 11:18 PM in category daily

Got some rather unsettling and surprising news today. I promised that I'd give it some time to sink in before I reacted. So I'll wait for the whole picture to emerge and I'll try to avoid jumping to any conclusions.

It'll be difficult though, to avoid thinking about the ramifications. It's not like I've got anything else to occupy my mind.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
posted by dave at 7:28 PM in category daily

Today after work I met up with RealTrainGirl at Rich O's. It was very nice to see her - it's been a couple of weeks.

Normally after work I'll have an NABC Cone Smoker but this evening I knew I'd be staying a little longer than usual so I had a Smithwick's and then a Guinness.

Ordered a pizza from Pizza Hut and left at around 6:30. Stopped and said "hey" to VigilanteGirl on the way home.

It's days like this that make me wonder if I should bother posting at all. I do try to care about stuff enough to write something interesting, but I'm just not capable of giving a flying fuck about anything right now. Even if I try to stir up old pains, they just don't hurt, and so I just don't care.

Sunday, July 24, 2005
posted by dave at 10:36 PM in category daily

I guess things are pretty much back to normal at work. I certainly hope so anyway.

Time for me to start easing that real life thing back into my existence. Not really sure what that means anymore though. I've completely lost focus.

Something will ground me I guess. I can't drift along forever, no matter how pleasant these past couple of weeks have been. Hard to believe that's all it's been. Seems like an eternity. Who was that guy, anyway? What a loser.

So I just drift. I muddle through. I have nothing for long for, and now I have nothing to fight against. I go to that haunted place and I sense no presence. My phone rings and I simply pick it up. I pull into the parking lot and all I look for is a place to park. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I live completely in the present. The present is fucking boring.

Meanwhile, there are fleas in my house. I find this odd because none of the cats seem to be carrying any.

Okay, this is strange. I'm having a fucking panic attack. My hands are shaking like crazy. Prescience, perhaps, or just too much caffiene?

Either way, it's an awful lot like having an actual feeling, so I'm going to enjoy it for a while.

Saturday, July 23, 2005
posted by dave at 9:07 PM in category daily

Today I was presented with a nice little conundrum.

I got the following text-message:

Are you avoiding me?

This coming from a person (who does not read this 'blog) that I am, in fact, avoiding. This is a rather simple yes/no question, but it's one that I cannot answer.

If I answer "no" then I'm lying, and I'm not going to lie just to make this person feel better.

If I answer "yes" then I'm telling the truth, but the mere fact that I'm answering is ending my avoidance, which makes me a liar again.

So my choice is to not respond at all. Not the most grownup way to deal with this, but I never said I was a grownup.

Monday, July 18, 2005
posted by dave at 6:38 PM in category daily

Okay, I have 872 things on my mind right now, and I'd just love to write a lengthy entry about each of them, but alas, I am a lazy fuck. So I'll just cover the first 2 or 3 things that pop into my head.

After my nap.

Maybe.

Sunday, July 17, 2005
posted by dave at 8:21 PM in category daily

This girl at Border's today was totally stalking me. I'd talked to her briefly when I first went in, about the writer Connie Willis, then she followed me around the store for a half-hour, almost keeping out of sight, but not quite.

Then she "just happened" to show up at Sully's where I was eating lunch. I was getting a little bit freaked out. Luckily I know the bartender and he let me sneak out the back door.

She was pretty enough, but I really don't need any more drama. Got plenty, thanks anyway.

posted by dave at 11:06 AM in category daily, drink

So, like I already said, I was in a pretty strange mood last night. Untethered, unfettered, and a little bit disengaged.

Started out the night going to check out this new place in Georgetown that Dina and Kenny wanted to go to. I needed to get there early to see if they had any good beer.

They not only didn't have any good beer, they didn't have any beer at all. The place was like a Burger King, except with pool tables.

So I left there and got to Rich O's way earlier than normal. The place was crowded as fuck, with the prerequisite infestation of strangers taking up all of the seats at the bar and in the living room area. I just hate those people so much.

Because I'd arrived so early, and because I didn't plan on leaving early, I knew that I'd have to make an adjustment to my drinking regimen. I decided that I'd just stick to Guinness.

You know, I'm really bored sitting here writing this, so I'm going to stop fairly abruptly.

I ended up having three Guinnii and then a Stone Imperial Stout. Dina and Kenny came in for a while. It was a nice night.

Thursday, July 14, 2005
posted by dave at 7:14 AM in category daily

I have decided to be evil today, or at least for part of today. This picture even creeps me out.

click for full-sized image

So what does my being evil mean to you, my reader?

Not much, really.

I'm going to let my anger for some things get a little bit closer to the surface, but not close enough that I'll be doing any venting here. I just need to explore a little, see how much anger I'm keeping bottled up here. Don't want to get an ulcer or anything.

The objects of my wrath will not deserve my wrath, so I'll just keep it to myself and be evil on the inside.

(update: Well that was a bust. No matter how hard I tried, the best I could manage was irritated. Angry was beyond me today.)

Wednesday, July 13, 2005
posted by dave at 9:40 PM in category daily

So I'm a little annoyed today with the female species. Actually, not the entire species, just a few subspecies. Namely flirticus vaginus and exus girlfriendus and sluttus major.

As long as I'm playing with lists today, here's one directed at these women:

  • No means no.
  • Breakup sex is supposed to be just that, not an ongoing justification.
  • Don't say it if you're not going to back it up. I remember everything you say.
  • Sometimes it's just not convenient to play your little games. Especially when I know I can never win that prize.
  • My mood is not always about you. You can, however, make it about you if you whine enough.
  • Put up or shut up.
  • You have always known exactly how I felt. Hell, you knew it before I did most of the time. Don't try this guilt trip shit with me.
  • If I'm ignored long enough, I will stop trying. You're not allowed to get mad when that happens.
  • Yeah, right. Like that's going to work.
  • Try looking in a mirror sometime.
  • Cover that shit up. Nobody wants to see it.

Besides the annoyance, I'm a little bored today. Waiting for that new Rock Star: INXS show to get tivoed so I can rock out for a while.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005
posted by dave at 6:54 PM in category daily

Just updated the FAQ page after an e-mail exchange I had today. I'd have to say that this FAQ entry was long overdue, because I get asked these questions a lot - usually the questions are followed by accusations of retardation and/or drunkenness, but this particular person was quite nice about it.

Meanwhile, I've actually had a couple of pretty good days at work. This is quite rare, and it kinda makes me a little paranoid.

Also, I have an idea for an entry, but I'm unsure if it should be posted or not. I'm going to sleep on it for a while.

Monday, July 11, 2005
posted by dave at 8:58 PM in category daily

You know, I don't think I'm going to write anything today.

Except this, that is.

I'm in a pretty good mood, and want to stay that way.

Monday, July 4, 2005
posted by dave at 1:43 PM in category daily, pictures

Polly's Freeze

Took this picture while eating lunch at Polly's Freeze today.

I didn't say it would be an interesting entry.

Sunday, July 3, 2005
posted by dave at 1:52 PM in category comics, daily, drink

ouch"

So I went to this thing yesterday.

There was a lot of running. That's all I really want to say. I left at 6:00 and went to Polly's to eat something for the first time in 24 hours, then went home and slept.

After my nap I went down to Rich O's, successfully avoided the scene depicted above, and ended up sitting with PipeGuy and GrammarLady for a while. I hadn't seen these two in a while, and PipeGuy in particular seemed quite insistent on talking about you know what. I changed the subject as quickly as I could, but not before making sure that they knew that all of the things that they had imagined happening between her and me were just that - their imagination. Actually, theirs and about a million other people's.

After they left, DooRagGirl and FutureDude showed up.

I got the name FutureDude from an old Seinfeld episode, by the way.

I didn't drink anything worth noting last night. I think I was still reeling a little from the night before. Smithwick's and Spezial. Nice and tame.

FutureDude told me that my Monte Carlo doesn't really seem like a Dave kind of car. I'm not really sure how to take that.

I'm starting to feel another implosion coming on.

Saturday, July 2, 2005
posted by dave at 12:55 PM in category daily

DooRagGirl and FutureDude just came over and took my old washer/dryer unit.

Nice to finally get that thing out of my garage. The place seems positively cavernous now.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005
posted by dave at 11:39 PM in category daily, drink

Kind of a fucked up day for me.

I wasted yet another day of vacation because the repair guy (supposed to show up at noon) didn't get here until 7:00.

I watched Rob and Amber Get Married, tivoed when it originally aired but never watched. Brilliant move, that was. Watching people in love starting a new life together. Just fucking brilliant.

So eventually my A/C got fixed, and I went to Rich O's to celebrate.

The place was crowded as fuck. It was more like a Friday than a Tuesday. I text-messaged RealTrainGirl about the crowd but I guess she's joined the legion of women that are pissed at me after all. This made the third message in as many days that she's ignored. Or maybe she just hasn't been getting them. A lot of that going around lately. Fortunately for me there's currently only one woman on Earth that is capable of truly hurting my feelings, and it's not RealTrainGirl. I'm mostly invincible.

So I hadn't been in Rich O's for more than ten seconds when TallLady started in on me about smiling and why I wasn't doing it. I'm afraid I got a little gruff with her. I don't smile on command, and I told her so.

She apologized for offending me, but I told her that she hadn't offended me, she had annoyed me. If she had said "Smile, you pumpkinheaded fuck," then that would have offended me.

To drink, I had a Spezial Rauchbier. Very good as always.

Next I did some experimenting.

Dave's Double Chocolate Cherry Ale

(mixture) I mixed Bell's Cherry Ale and Young's Double Chocolate Stout in a 1-to-1 ratio. Just a fantastic combination. A nice deep red color. Chocolate flavor that's followed by a slightly sour finish. I'd definitely buy this if it was available commercially. Yummy.

Next I had the rest of the Young's, straight this time.

Next I had a pint of Guinness, for no reason other than its low ABV.

I stopped and saw VigilanteGirl on the way home. Her normal voice has returned. Oh well.

Tonight I missed her more than usual. I blame the television I watched earlier. Unfortunately, whenever I let my thoughts stray to topics like love, marriage, happiness, whatever, my imagination always reveals the same person standing next to me. This sucks, but I guess I'm getting used to it.

One interesting thing about tonight: I was talking with this dude about this girl that obviously had the hots for him. He didn't know it. Didn't want to believe it. My advice to him was to just go for it. To just grow a pair and take a fucking chance.

See, I can advocate bravery as long as it's not my own heart on the line.

omg
posted by dave at 11:39 AM in category daily

I guess VigilanteGirl's ear infection has spread to her sinuses.

I certainly hope she feels better soon, but for now, WOW!

Her voice, softened and sultrified (yes, that's a word, now - I just made it up) by her condition, is now so sexy it makes me weak in the knees.

She doesn't think it sounds that great, but I assured her that no matter how bad it might sound inside her head, it sounds fantastic everywhere else.

I suggested that she record a new voice mail greeting to take full advantage of her sexy new voice. Her current greeting sounds nothing like her - more like her mom or her grandmother.

Of course, if she does change her greeting, it still won't sound anything like her once her normal voice returns. It will instead sound like one of those phone sex girls that advertise on late-night TV:

Please call me. I'll be waiting for you.

Her greeting could say:

Please leave me a message. I'll be sure and call you back. You sexy thing.
posted by dave at 8:14 AM in category daily

One of the most common traits of just about any personal 'blog is that nobody cares about 90% of the crap that gets posted. People may enjoy reading for the humor, or for the drama, but the actual content is actually unimportant to almost everyone except the actual 'blogger.

This entry is an example of something nobody cares about. Except me.

Yesterday I dug out an old pair of shorts, shorts with a 32-inch waistband.

I haven't been able to wear 32s in years. I've been wearing 34s and even some 35s.

But now, because of all this weight that's been mysteriously disappearing, I can wear 32s again. They actually fit, which is a lot more that I can say for the shorts I had been wearing. They kept threatening to fall right off my skinny ass.

I'd been looking like one of those damn kids I see all over, with my pants halfway down my ass. Hey, maybe all those kids haven't been showing stupid fashion sense after all! Maybe they all just lost a lot of weight!

So the good news for me (and for the ladies) is that I'm not a lardo anymore.

The bad news for me is that I only own one pair of pants that fit me. I threw all my other 32-inch pants away years ago. Then my sister dug them all out of the trash and put them in the garage for the mice to build condos in, but that's another story.

So now I've either got to go do some clothes shopping, or just start eating ice cream and cheetos again.

Monday, June 27, 2005
posted by dave at 8:38 PM in category daily

Was literally on my way out the door and the repair guy finally called to tell me that he's on his way.

I certainly don't expect any actual repairs to take place tonight, but at least now he'll be able to tell me how stupid I am and how much my stupidity is going to cost me.

posted by dave at 8:28 PM in category daily

Just to make a long boring story short and somewhat less boring, the repair guy didn't show up today.

He was supposed to be here between 10:00 and 2:00, so I took a day of vacation to wait.

At 2:30, I called to make sure that he was really coming. They assured me that he was.

At 5:00 I called again to make sure that he was really coming. They again assured me that he was.

At 6:00 they called me to tell me that it would be at least another hour.

At 8:20 I gave up and decided to go to Rich O's to get some air conditioning.

So tomorrow I get to do it all over again. Except that this time I hope the guy actually shows up.

Oh yeah, my thermometer has been pegged at 90 degrees since about noon. It's still slightly cooler in the basement though.

Sunday, June 26, 2005
posted by dave at 10:23 PM in category daily

I've already discussed the problem I had with my air conditioning.

I thought it was over, but nooooooooooooooooooo!

I've still been getting a lot of ice buildup. Not nearly as bad as before but still enough to annoy me, and enough to get the floor wet when it melted.

So today I went to Plan B: Cleaning the outside unit.

I removed the fan and sprayed the shit out of the thing with a hose. With all of the old grass and dirt gone it looked almost new. I reinstalled the fan and turned the A/C back on.

After about an hour, I saw that I had no ice at all. This was a good thing, and I once again figured that I'd fixed it.

But nooooooooooooooooooooo!

After another hour, I looked at the thermometer and saw that it was 87 degrees in the house. This just couldn't be. The A/C had been running nonstop for two hours.

At least the inside fan was running.

I went out to check the outside unit and saw, much to my dismay, that the fan blade had managed to neatly slice one of the wires. I'd failed to properly secure them, the fan cut the wire, and the outside unit had promptly blown a circuit breaker.

No wonder it was still hot in the house.

Desperate, apparently, to make a bad situation worse, I decided that I'd just repair the wire.

Found some electrical tape, a pair of wire strippers, and even a wire nut. I repaired the shit out of that wire.

But when I put the fan back in the wire bundle was still to close to the blades. There was this little plastic clippy thing that had broken, so there was nothing to keep the wires safely against the sides of the unit.

At about this time I got stung by a wasp.

Once I made sure that I wasn't going to die (which I'll admit would have been slightly worse), I tackled the problem of keeping the wires safe without the little plastic clippy thing. I found several garbage bag ties and used them to fasten the wires to whatever I could find inside the unit.

Better, but still not completely safe.

The very top section of wires just kept flopping out towards the fan blades, and there was nothing in that area to fasten them to. The slack that I was using so that I could remove the fan and get to the wires was also the slack that was causing all the trouble.

This is when I got my brilliant idea.

Not.

I found a very stiff piece of wire and decided that if I only had a small hole through the sheet metal at a certain point I could use the stiff wire to reach in through the hole and pull the bundle to safety and really secure the hell out of it.

I figured that I was home free.

But nooooooooooooooo!

What I did instead, despite very careful measuring and checking and double-checking, was drill a tiny hole in the damn A/C coil. Just nicked it, really.

Here's something I didn't know: Freon escaping from a tiny hole in a coil sounds exactly like a jet engine. Only louder.

Needless to say, my home repair skills (highly questionable by this point anyway) do not extend to repairing A/C coils and conjuring up new freon out of thin air. Ha ha. Freon. Thin air. Get it?

So now I get to burn a day of vacation tomorrow so the repair guys can come out to (a)tell me that I'm an idiot, and (b)repair or replace my outside coils.

So far the basement is still pretty cool. My cats have retreated there, and I may just join them tonight.

Sunday, June 19, 2005
posted by dave at 3:04 PM in category daily

I are so smart!

It turns out that I had two problems that were causing water to get all over my basement floor.

The first problem I already wrote about. That seems to have been taken care of by a simple filter cleaning.

The second problem was much more sneaky. And when I say that it was sneaky what I really mean is that I'm retarded.

Even though I had no more water around my air handler, the water in the restroom seemed, if anything, to be getting worse.

In the closet off the restroom is where my water heater and water softener are located. It's also where the drain is for the entire basement. It's one of those little holey things in the floor that I guess ties in with some pipe that goes to the septic tank or something. I'd take a picture but it's kind of gross.

Well to make an incredibly boring story mercifully short I have drain lines from my air handler and from my water softener that I keep crammed into these holes.

The lines from the water softener had somehow been pulled loose, and were just laying on the floor.

So I've reinserted these lines into their holes and now hopefully my wetness problem is cured.

Friday, June 17, 2005
posted by dave at 11:58 PM in category daily, drink

What a fucked up night.

As far as I've been able to determine, every heterosexual woman on Earth that is not a sister of mine is pissed at me.

That's quite an accomplishment, especially since I have no idea what the hell I've managed to screw up this time.

At first, I thought it was every woman in the world, but then I remembered that I'd talked to each of my sisters and they didn't seem pissed. Then I got a call from RealTrainGirl, so the lesbian community didn't seem to have a problem with me.

I don't know what the hell was going on, but I got evil text messages or dirty looks from every other woman I interacted with tonight. LibertyGirl and DooRagGirl tried to pretend that they weren't in on whatever it was, but I wasn't fooled.

To start the night, I had a Spezial Rauchbier. Very good, as always.

Next, I had a sample of this Bells Cherry Ale stuff. My first impression wasn't too good, but it grew on me very quickly.

Bells Cherry Ale

(draft) No aroma whatsoever. The first couple of sips reminded me more of cranberries than cherries. About halfway through the glass I decided that it wasn't too bad and ordered another pint. A little sour, a little sweet. Really quite drinkable though.

After that I felt a little reckless so I did an experiment:

Dave's Cherry Porter

(mixture) I mixed 1/2 Bells Cherry Ale with 1/2 BBC Dark Star Porter, and ended up with something greater than the sum of its parts. The too bitter porter balanced very nicely with the too sweet/sour Bells, and it was just excellent. I, apparently, am a frickin' genius.

Now I'm back at home. I think I should probably shoot a text message off to a couple of girls that are pissed at me, but I'm not going to until/unless I find out what it is I'm supposed to be sorry for.

I don't understand the female species at all.

posted by dave at 12:30 PM in category daily

I'm back home now.

I have nothing else to say.

Maybe later.

Saturday, June 11, 2005
posted by dave at 5:22 PM in category daily

I'm sitting in my office. It's about 80 degrees in the house, and my vents are spewing hot air.

Why are they spewing hot air?

Because I've turned my thermostat up to 95 degrees, that's why.

Why would I do such a stupid thing?

Because my air conditioner has been running nearly non-stop for a couple of weeks now, and the air handler is encrusted with ice, as are the lines running to the outside unit.

This ice manages to melt a little bit every now and then, and so now my basement has large areas of wetness.

I hope this ice building was caused by the fact that I haven't cleaned my filter in a thousand years. It was pretty filthy.

So I took the filter outside and hosed it off to make it nice and clean, and now I'm running my heat pump in heat mode to hopefully melt this ice buildup.

My thinking is that, since I run it in cool mode during the Winter to remove ice buildup on the outside unit, maybe running it in heat mode in the Summer will remove ice buildup on the inside parts.

We'll see. This would suck anyway, but it sucks even more because I'm leaving town in the morning. I don't think I can bring myself to leave the air conditioning off while I'm gone - my cats would melt.

So I'll have to call the guys while I'm in Orlando and make arrangements for somebody to be here when they come out to inspect and/or repair my system.

Thursday, June 9, 2005
posted by dave at 8:52 PM in category daily, pictures

Today we had a work meeting at Churchill Downs.

Even though I grew up here in Indiana, and have spent 24 years living here, I've never bothered to go to this track.

I wouldn't even have gone today if they hadn't made me.

Being around horses reminds me of things I'd rather not be reminded of.

Anyway, I took some pics.

Churchill Crystals

This was display stand, made up to look like the track and stands, just filled with hundreds and hundreds of little crystal figurines. It was very cool, and it looked very fucking expensive.

Churchill Spires

We had our meeting in the new "luxury box" addition to the place. I guess a lot of people are mad that the spires no longer stand out above everything else anymore. I guess I can understand their feelings.

Churchill Downs

Churchill Downs

Churchill Downs

I ended up staying to watch one race, then I went to work and caught up on some stuff.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005
posted by dave at 7:48 PM in category daily, drink

Man I'm tired.

Today we had a working lunch meeting at the Hard Rock. Probably only the third or fourth time that I've eaten lunch at work in the past 10 years..

This is not because I'm an anti-social asshole, as conventional theory holds. It's because when I eat I get tired, and when I eat in the middle of the day it just wipes me out and pretty much makes me useless for the rest of the day.

The food at the Hard Rock was okay. Just basic stuff I guess. I had a cheeseburger that was underdone and it came with like a dozen fries. I also sampled some potato skins and this pineapple-chicken-bbq quesadilla thingy that wasn't too bad. Potato skins with cheese and bacon are perhaps the 20th century's greatest contribution to mankind.

Or maybe not. I still like them.

My drink choices at the Hard Rock were, as expected, pretty limited, so I had a couple Guinnii. Pretty damn good stuff, that Guinness.

After work I stopped by Rich O's to meet up with RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl. While I was waiting I had an NABC Blonde Abbey.

While I was waiting some more I had a couple more Guinnii. Yummy.

Anyway, the girls finally showed up and MisunderstoodGirl and I got a kick out of listening to all of the train lingo that was being slung by RealTrainGirl and ChefDude.

I've been helping MisunderstoodGirl set up her own 'blog so we talked about that for a bit, and I offered to host her pictures because the free account she has at JournalSpace doesn't allow pictures.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now. Big day tomorrow. Going to the track.

Also, I missed her today. It was probably because of the Guinness.

Sunday, June 5, 2005
posted by dave at 11:09 AM in category daily, drink, family, friends

Proverbs - The Brewing Art

This poster hangs at Rich O's. I really like it. It's just so busy. Everywhere you look there's something going on, people having fun. Each little section is its own scene, unencumbered and uninfluenced by the goings-on of the scenes elsewhere.

This is kind of like the scene at my niece's graduation party yesterday.

Except that there wasn't quite as much beer. And instead of people making beer, there were people swimming and talking and pitching horseshoes and playing volleyball. And instead of workers and pagan characters and smiling buildings and royalty, there were a bunch of people that I hadn't seen in several years. And instead of hops growing all over, there were eighteen year old girls hopping all over the volleyball court.

Just to briefly list the relatives that I hadn't seen in a long time (or ever) that showed up yesterday:

  • My cousin Durenda and her husband Kevin (two or three years)
  • My cousin Lynette and her husband Bill (maybe a year, maybe two)
  • My aunt Susie (about 6 years!)
  • My second cousin Taylor (never in her twelve years of life)
  • My cousin Michelle and her husband Barry (13 years!!!)
  • Three more second cousins - Michelle's kids (never seen before)

Most of the regulars were also there, with the exception of my cousin Jeff who wasn't returning any calls, and Dan "Holy Shit" Kruer and his wife Chris who had other plans.

So I guess my sister has been holding out on me. She does have hot friends. At least one anyway, and I'm now hopeful that she'll "remember" some others. Some that aren't married.

I spent about the first hour on the deck by the pool talking with my sisters and my cousins and my aunt. At one point I realized that I was completely surrounded by estrogen and decided to escape before, as Neisha warned, I started getting cramps and developing uncontrollable urges to ask people for directions.

I pitched a dozen or so games of horseshoes. The first game I lost with my cousin Mike. The next ten games I won with a coworker of Kenny's or with my friend Eric, then I lost the last game with Kenny.

By then it was dark, and I sat for a bit talking with Eric's wife Terri while the guys tried to pitch one final game of horseshoes by sense of smell or something. I don't think that worked out very well for them, but no paramedics were called so it could have been worse.

Let's see, to drink I had a half-gallon of NABC Blonde Abbey. That's a lot of 7% beer to drink but it was spread out over several hours so I was okay.

Once I left Dina's I drove down to Rich O's (even though I was filthy) and had a diet coke while talking with RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl, and some dude that looks like Buddy Rich, and DooRagGirl.

I guess I'm a little sunburned. I don't look that red by I can definitely feel it in my face. It will probably start to peel, further increasing my already undeniable sex appeal. Today I get to mow my lawn so I'll probably look like a tomato by this evening.

Friday, June 3, 2005
posted by dave at 11:42 PM in category daily, drink

Just in case this was legit, though I really doubt that it was:

I miss you too, but only sometimes.

Like now.

And now.

And when I breathe.

But those are the only times.

Except for now.

---

(Now the subject changes completely.)

Anyway, tonight I was supposed to go out to the BBC and help usher CanadianGirl out from Louisville. She's moving to Omaha, one of my all-time favorite places, and a bunch of people from work were supposed to meet there tonight to get her drunk and maybe talk her into dancing on the bar or something equally embarrassing.

Well I did make the longish drive out to Shelbyville Road, and I did (eventually) find my way to the BBC brewpub. What I didn't do was stay there for more than about five minutes.

I looked around for anyone I knew and didn't see anyone, so I left. I probably could have done a more thorough search, but there was this asswipe playing a guitar and if there's one thing I really wasn't in the mood for tonight it was live music.

So I left Louisville's East end and went to Rich O's.

The place was really crowded, and I ended up sitting at the bar all night. All I had to drink were a couple pints of Smithwick's and then I came home. I'm pretty fucking tired still from last night's supernap and the resulting sleep deprivation.

So now my plan is to go to sleep and get up before 10:00 so I can buy Kelly Clarkson tickets.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
posted by dave at 4:49 AM in category daily, family

Well, not really. But when I saw all of the rice in the parking lot at my old high school Sunday I did get a little sad for the future.

My niece Bethany graduated Sunday. This strikes me as odd because she's only eight or nine as far as I'm concerned. And she'll stay that way dammit!

That's her looking at the camera.

The graduation festivities were, as I pretty much expected, quite boring except for those brief seconds when (a) Bethany came in with all the other Seniors, (b) Bethany got her diploma, and (c) Some particularly hot girl passed by.

That last point does not mean that I'm a pervert. It means that I'm a dirty old man.

Huge difference. Dirty old men have the same fantasies that men throughout time have had. Perverts risk getting sent to Federal Pound Me In The Ass prison.

So the nice thing about attending a high school graduation is this: If they're graduating, it's a pretty damn safe bet that they're 18 years old and therefore not jailbait. This is important to me because I've often had a hard time deciding who is stare-worthy and who is just a cute kid.

Like every time I go to Polly's Freeze.

Bethany was the first of any of my sisters' kids to graduate. In two years Dina's son Cory will follow his sister into adulthood, then my sister Neisha's kids Devynne and Logan, then finally Dina's youngest son Gehrid.

By the time Gehrid graduates I expect I'll be too old to ogle the pretty girls.

Monday, May 30, 2005
posted by dave at 1:51 AM in category daily, drink, pictures, travel

(I'm putting this in the travel category because I kind of felt like a tourist.)

Saturday night I was irritated. The girl at the Gas'N'Stuff had put me in a bad mood, and I never really got a chance to improve my mood because my fucking phone kept vibrating.

That's how my Saturday night went. Pleasant conversations at Rich O's interrupted every half-hour by MixedSignalGirl calling or texting me about how pissed she was at me for what happened in Las Vegas.

Because I'm such a selfish asshole, I didn't return any of the calls until this morning.

Because I'm not a complete selfish asshole, I called her right after I woke up.

To make a very long story short, we agreed to meet up at this place called Sully's for dinner so we could, once again, hash things out and, once again, decide that we are completely wrong for each other and/or our timing sucks.

Fourth Street Live

Fourth Street Live

LaptopGirl used to call this place Fourth Street Dive but I actually kind of like it. It reminds me a little bit of Fremont Street in Las Vegas. There are good bars and lots of neon. Pretty damn cool for Louisville if you ask me.

I arrived at Sully's about five minutes late, and had myself a Smithwick's. I'm really really starting to like this beer. It just goes down smooth. I feel like I could drink it all night.

I like the layout of this Sully's place. A long and narrow room with a bar running the length of one wall and tables and booths for eating scattered about. The entire wall opposite the bar was glass so we could see out into the street.

Sully's

MixedSignalGirl arrived about a half-hour late, and I suppose I should say that if she was late because she was busy making herself up, then it was worth it. I've never seen her look so pretty.

Sully's

So despite the near-frantic calls Saturday night, she decided tonight to completely ignore the burning issue of her being pissed and we proceeded to have a fairly standard date. I had a burger and fries that were very good and she had some chicken fingers and fries. We mostly just talked about how cool the bar and Fourth Street Live was, and how it'd be nice if they did something like it in New Albany.

Eventually our conversation became more serious and I'm not going to get into it here except to reiterate what I told her, more or less:

I'm very sorry that you were hurt. I've never meant to cause you any pain at all. I really didn't think you'd care. We broke up months ago, and you told me you were doing fine. I told you that I wasn't ready for a relationship, and that's still true. What happened in Las Vegas was a simple one night stand. I don't even have her number, and I don't expect to hear from her again. It was not about you, or because of you, or in spite of you. I wasn't about anyone. Just two people that happened to hit it off and decided to enjoy each other with no strings or baggage to worry about.

During all this I had myself another Smithwick's. MixedSignalGirl was drinking some foofoo thing that was green and brown.

Once we left Sully's we went briefly to the Red Star Saloon and then into the Hard Rock where I bought us t-shirts, then we went to this place called The Pub.

The Pub - Louisville

This was another very nice bar. They also had a pretty impressive draft beer selection. I had myself a four-beer sampler:

Whitbread English Ale

(draft) No head at all, but somehow managed to have very good lacing. A hint of caramel in the flavor. A slightly lagerish finish but not too fizzy. Not bad at all.

Young's Double Chocolate Stout

(draft) Good head, good lacing. Subtle chocolate aroma and more subtle chocolate flavor. Nothing else to distinguish it at all. It did kind of grow on me though.

Black Sheep Monty Python's Holy Grail

(draft) No head. No aroma, No flavor. A very dry and fizzy mouthfeel. Probably good for an upset stomach but little else.

Tetley's English Ale

(draft) Good lacing. No detectable aroma, flavor, or aftertaste. There was just a hint of bitterness that faded before swallowing was complete. Not bad, but very boring.

So the beer, while new to me, turned out to be pretty boring. I'd like to try the Young's again someday though. It was intriguing. This place had at least a half-dozen other beers that I've never seen on tap at Rich O's, but I think most of them were IPAs so I wasn't interested.

The Pub - Louisville

At The Pub I bought another t-shirt. The staff was all wearing shirts with the bar's logo on the front and different bits of English culture on the back:

  • Bollocks!
  • Abbey Road
  • Another pint, love? (Something like that anyway)
  • Piss off! (I really wanted this one)
  • Wanker! (MixedSignalGirl made me get this one)

We ended up having a pretty good night together, getting along great. That was never our problem when we were together. Our problem was that at different times one or both of us would have our minds someplace else or with someone else. We were always just using each other as placeholders, as safe havens against the unknown, as crutches to help us get through the tough times.

Tonight, we said goodbye and once again went our separate ways. I hope I managed to smooth things over a little. I think I did. She's very sweet, and her feelings are important to me. It's just that, like I've said before, those things she sees in me are not meant for her. In the end, I have to be true to myself. I cannot lie my way through a relationship. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.

I will, however, admit that I've often caught myself imagining a deeper relationship with MixedSignalGirl. Hell, I caught myself doing it tonight. I see in her eyes something I haven't seen in many others - genuine affection. For me of all people. But I also see something else. My own eyes reflected within hers. That's what gives me pause and reminds me that there's a reason we're not together.

My own eyes remain focused a million miles away.

(I'm going to update this to say that there are real reasons that things would never work out for us. It's not all because I'm insane. We both know what those reasons are, and I'm not going to get into them here. Hell, I wouldn't have even written about tonight if she hadn't asked me to.)

Sunday, May 29, 2005
posted by dave at 1:28 AM in category daily, drink

Tonight I wrote down my URL for this chick at Rich O's. We'd been talking about writing and somebody had told her that I have a 'blog.

Even though I told her that everything except some entries in the ramblings and the peril categories is boring and stupid, I'm now feeling a little bit of pressure to write something halfway decent.

That way it will at least look like I'm still capable of a coherent thought every now and then.

The problem is, I've got nothing. So I'll just write about my day, such as it was.

After I washed my car Koko and I went over to Polly's for lunch.

After that I went down to my cousin Mike's new house to check it out. Not exactly a castle, but it's not like he needs anything special. It's certainly got to be better than living with his parents has been these past few months.

After my late afternoon nap I stopped to see VigilanteGirl. Now it looks like she won't be changing jobs. I have mixed emotions about this. I mean I'm glad that I'll still be able to see her on a regular basis, but I know I should feel bad because I know she was looking forward to making more money and having her weekends off. This is just another example of me being a selfish bastard I guess.

This one chick at the Gas'N'Stuff gave me shit about being in there three times today. I have no idea what that was all about. For one thing, I was only in there twice. For another thing, it's a fucking convenience store. You're supposed to go there when it's convenient for you, not when it's convenient for the people working there. For another thing, it's none of her fucking business how many times I go in there. So now I'm afraid that I may have another person to avoid at that store. The first one I don't think works there anymore.

I got to Rich O's and for a few minutes I was literally the only customer there. In the bar proper I mean I think there were a couple of people out in the front room. I talked briefly with NotGeorge on the phone and basically told him to hurry up if he was coming because it looked like the place would be closing soon.

Let's see, I took it easy on the beer tonight. All I had were some Smithwick's and some Guinnesses (Guinni?). Spent some time talking with NotGeorge, ClownGirl, Bubbles, DisgustingMakeoutCouple, and the aforementioned chick.

At one point everyone else had gone and I found myself talking with AforementionedGirl about my 'blog and how 99% of it is crap, and 99% of the semi-good stuff is about you know who and how fucked up I am and/or was about her. I ended up writing my URL down for some reason.

I'm going to stop writing this entry now. I've got an idea for a new entry though. Maybe tomorrow I'll write about signals if I can figure out a way to keep it fairly generic.

Saturday, May 28, 2005
posted by dave at 1:19 PM in category daily

Drove my Monte Carlo to work the other day and birds used it for shit target practice.

So this morning, instead of taking it to the brushless car wash like I usually do, I decided to really baby the thing and do a complete hand washing.

So now it's completely clean - no bugs, dirt, or bird shit - but it looks like crap because of all the water spots left on it.

This is what I get for having a black car, but I thought the water softener I bought last year was supposed to reduce or eliminate the water spots.

Guess not. Once it gets dark the car will look great though.

(update: While the car was parked at my cousin Mike's new house birds used it as a toilet again.)

Thursday, May 26, 2005
posted by dave at 11:27 PM in category daily, drink, work

We had this work thing today at Louisville's Fourth Street Live. Specifically at the Lucky Strike bowling lanes and the poolhall Felt.

I suppose that, as these offsite meetings go, this one was okay. I can always think of about a zillion real things I could be working on instead of attending these day-long meetings.

During the lunch break several people grabbed a pool table and started playing 8-ball amongst themselves. I got my own table and started banking balls in. Even with the crappy house cue, the dismal lighting, the large stains on the cloth consisting of I don't want to know what, and the fact that the entire table leaned heavily to one side, I found that it's surprisingly difficult to miss a bank shot on an eight foot table.

Most of the people that know me at work know that I'm a pool player, and that I'm a pretty good one. I'm not sure that they grasp just how good compared to them, or that if there was any money in it at all for a player at my level I'd hang up my keyboard and make my living doing something I love instead of something I merely enjoy.

I heard some people talking today, making little comments about how I was playing by myself and wondering if everyone was just too scared to play me. These comments were all made jokingly and everybody got a good laugh out of it, including me. But nobody came over to my table.

If all they're wanting is a chance to win, then they did well to stay away. If winning is what's most important to them, they shouldn't get within ten feet of me and a pool table.

I understand the desire to win. I've seen it often enough, felt it often enough. I just never let it take away from the simple enjoyment of playing. Those times when I found myself outmatched and I lost, I still enjoyed every minute of it. Those times when I knew going in that I wasn't likely to win - I still played. To avoid the competition because of a fear of losing - what's the fun in that?

Maybe part of the reason for my ability to enjoy myself is that I've generally been pretty good at whatever I do. Better than average I guess you could say.

Darts. Horseshoes. Shooting baskets. Bowling.

Bowling was the team-building portion of the offsite meeting. We split up into teams and bowled all these crazy frames; opposite handed, granny style, backwards granny style, blindfolded, etc.

Those were the odd-numbered frames. The even-numbered frames were real bowling.

Back when I was in the Air Force, we'd take a Friday off each month and just go bowl together. We always had a lot of fun, even without all of the goofy-assed odd-numbered frame restrictions. I wish we'd done that today. Just bowled.

So I scored a 91. My even-numbered frames probably made up 75 of those points. My odd-numbered frames were fairly useless. If I'm figuring things correctly I'd have bowled a 165 or so if the whole game had been normal bowling. I used to average about 185 in my Air Force days, but I'd certainly take a 165 considering how I've bowled about 10 games in the last 13 years.

I mentioned a while back that this Lucky Strike place has Smithwick's on tap. I had two, and they were delicious. Everybody else was using their drink tickets to get drinks made with our company's products, but I paid for my own beer. People told me that I should use my drink tickets - nobody would care - but I would care so I bought my own beers.

Just wanted to write something today. This is a pretty boring entry I guess.

Oh yeah I stopped at Rich O's on the way home and had a Spezial Rauchbier. Tried to text-message RealTrainGirl to see if she was stopping by but got no answer.

Monday, May 23, 2005
posted by dave at 8:10 PM in category daily, drink

This morning, already looking forward to getting off work, I started thinking about the beer I would drink this evening.

I was thinking about the NABC Blonde Abbeys I'd had Saturday, and the Mad Bitch I'd had Friday, and I decided that I wanted something smoky. But not too smoky. Just enough to take the edge off the sweetness still lingering on my palate.

The beer I was thinking about was a Spezial Rauchbier. I got to wondering when Rich O's would have it on tap again.

Many boring hours at work passed, and I walked into Rich O's a little after 5:00 to see, lo and behold, that Spezial Rauchbier was on tap.

Needless to say, this is what I had. Two of them actually. It's kind of neat to imagine that I was able to make a certain beer appear just by thinking about it. Tomorrow I plan to think about beautiful brunettes in glasses.

And winning lottery numbers! Must not forget!

When I first arrived I sat on the sofa and listened to a couple of very hot, very young, girls practicing for a Spanish exam. I was pretty surprised that I actually remembered most of the words that they were practicing, and I was even able to help tutor them a little. Pretty good after twenty-three years. Even better considering how CalienteRoja was posing and contorting herself on the loveseat - quite distracting.

After I'd been there for a few minutes, RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl came in. That's why I had two beers instead of my usual one. We just talked for a while about not much in particular.

I stopped and talked to VigilanteGirl on the way home. She's leaving her job I guess, so that sucks for me, but she'll make more money and she'll have her nights off, so she should be a lot more relaxed.

Sunday, May 22, 2005
duh
posted by dave at 5:24 PM in category daily

This morning on the way home from getting breakfast, I passed a friend going the other direction. She flashed her lights at me and we waved at each other.

About an hour later this same girl called me and asked me when I was getting home from Las Vegas.

I told her that I'd be getting home two days ago.

Another hour passed before she called me back and admitted to being a dingbat.

posted by dave at 12:18 AM in category daily, drink

Tonight was my second annual pilgrimage to the boonies to attend RealTrainGirl's birthday party.

I guess it was a combination party this year as MisunderstoodGirl's birthday wasn't too long ago.

Just to get the beer part out of the way, I took a growler of NABC Blonde Abbey and drank about 2/3 of it before I cut myself off. I have to work in the morning after all.

The crowd consisted of two main groups: people from the railroad, and people from Rich O's. I was of course in the latter group. I'd say that we were outnumbered about 2-1, but everyone was cool so it didn't matter.

It was a nice pleasant evening. I can only think of two things worth writing about.

I met this dude from Rich O's that seemed completely embarrassed to admit that he'd read my 'blog. I tried to tell him that if anyone should be embarrassed it should be me, but I'm not ashamed of what I've written. I haven't gone through anything that millions of people haven't gone through. I just happen to write about it. It's good therapy for me.

The other thing is that when I left, and I was driving home through the sticks, I realized that the last time I'd driven that road, back in August, was perhaps the last truly happy time of my life. After that night, everything started to unravel, and there's still a big mess of shit coiled at my feet.

Now I've got to go to bed because I have to get up at 5:30 for work.

Saturday, May 21, 2005
posted by dave at 2:47 PM in category daily, drink, travel

After I dropped PigtailGirl off and returned my rental car I just dicked around the Luxor for a while and bought some shirts for my nieces at New York New York, then at about 11:00 I took the monorail up to the Riviera.

I walked around the tournament site for quite a while and was just about to leave when I finally ran into Awesome Larry.

We strolled around and bullshitted for an hour or so then he had to get some rest before his team's next match. I took a cab to the Hard Rock, ate lunch at the Pink Taco, and bought some shirts for my nephews that I hope fit.

Then I went to the Nine Fine Irishmen bar at New York New York and had a couple pints of Smithwick's. Two guys from Ireland came and sat next to me at the bar. They were (of course) drinking Guinness and that inspired me to switch. I had a few pints with them.

I think they were a father/son duo. I could understand the son fairly easily but I didn't understand a thing that the father said because of his accent.

By the time I left it was only about 4:00 and I was about half-pissed (that's what the Irish guys call being drunk) so I just went back to my room and finished the book I'd been reading and made a fairly early evening out of it.

posted by dave at 11:27 AM in category daily, drink, travel

Okay, once I got back to Las Vegas I drove over to The Freakin Frog.

I had myself another draft Alaskan Smoked Porter then I had a new beer for me:

Traquair House Ale

(bottle) Dark reddish brown with a complicated aroma that seemed to include cola. Started out bitter but finished very sweet. A very thick mouthfeel and a very nice flavor that made me drink very quickly. Quite yummy, but perhaps not as yummy as the $15 I paid for it would indicate.

Later in the night I took a cab up to Main Street Station to check out their brewpub. A reading of their beer list was not very appealing to me. Only two of the dozen or so beers seemed worth trying. One was a cherry stout and they were out of that.

The other was a porter, and it ended up being the best beer surprise I had all week.

Triple 7 Black Chip Porter

(draft) That first taste nearly overpowered me. I still can't believe that this beer comes from a brewpub catering to the flavor-impaired masses. Very chocolately, very roasty, very delicious. One of the best porters I've ever had.

I ended up having two of the porters, one while I waited for PigtailGirl to arrive and another while we sat and talked. She'd called right after I'd arrived at Main Street Station and wanted to get together without her friends "cramping her style" in her words.

This was of course intriguing.

At a certain point it was pretty obvious how the night was going to end so we actually both relaxed. There was no more pressure to be charming, and we were in no hurry.

We took a cab to the Rio and I talked her into trying a couple of actual beers instead of the foofoo drinks she'd been drinking. I myself had a couple pints of Newcastle and she tried Newcastle and Fat Tire before settling on (yuck) a Stella.

The next morning I drove PigtailGirl (no longer a descriptive name) up to her hotel and then returned my rental car.

A thing about this - I really really really needed it. Being treated like shit for months - whether intentionally or not - can do lots of damage to a person's ego, and my own self-image was never that great to begin with. I've never been a one-night-stand type of person, and I don't expect to become one in the future. Sometimes people and circumstances just merge and combine and it just feels right. I don't know what PigtailGirl's story is, and she doesn't know mine. There was no need to get into any of that.

Do I feel a little guilty? You bet your ass I do.

But it's not the same guilt I felt when I was with MixedSignalGirl. Back then I felt like I was betraying and belittling my feelings for someone else by being with her. This time my guilt is because I was in part just using PigtailGirl and she really deserved my full attention instead of just serving as a placeholder.

Of course the situation may have been reversed. I could have been used as well. If so, that's okay. It was a great night, and I think we helped each other get through some shit, even though we didn't discuss what the actual shit was.

Friday, May 20, 2005
posted by dave at 9:18 PM in category daily

Eleven months ago I returned from a week in Las Vegas so excited that I'm surprised I didn't piss myself. Much.

Five hours ago I returned from another week in Las Vegas and I know that I have nothing to be excited about.

This time around there was nobody who, even in my most alcohol sodden delusions, I could imaging missing me with any thought other than perhaps a passing "Hmm, I wonder where that Dave guy has been."

This time around there's nobody to come home to.

Except my cats.

They're really glad to see me.

I will post some entries about the last couple of days in Las Vegas. Maybe later tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning.

For now, it's off to Rich O's.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005
posted by dave at 7:12 AM in category daily, drink, travel

Yesterday was a long day.

After the last conference session I took a cab to The Freakin Frog out by UNLV. This is a bar touted on the Internet as having the best beer selection in Nevada.

I believe it. Their bottled beer list is the only one I've ever seen that rivals that of Rich O's. On tap, they only had nine or so beers, with no less than three IPAs.

My plan, going in, was to drink some beer that I hadn't had before. This plan was shattered when I saw that they had Alaskan Smoked Porter on tap. Of course I couldn't resist this, one of my favorite beers, in draft form.

While I enjoyed my porter and a cheeseburger and fries I perused the beer list - about twenty pages of beer, sorted by country of origin. I think the same list is available at their website.

My second choice was easy. A beer I hadn't had before but always wanted to try:

Alaskan Winter Ale

(bottle) A nice copper color with a decent head. Starts out a little bitter but has a sweet finish and aftertaste. Works out to be very well-balanced. Another winner from Juneau.

Making a choice, from all the beers available, for my final beer proved to be too tough of a decision for me to make. I asked the bartender (a girl that reminded me a lot of MisunderstoodGirl) to find me a good Belgian that I hadn't had before.

What she came back with, after a couple of suggestions for beer that I'd already had in the past, was a Belgian from Canada that I've seen at Rich O's but never ordered:

Unibroue La Fin Du Monde

(bottle) A very fizzy mouthfeel. Hint of apples - common in Belgians. Quite good, could use more flavor and less fizz.

After I took a cab back to the world, er, the strip, I was supposed to go see Zumanity at New York New York. At least that's what I thought. It turned out that I'd purchased a ticket for the April 24th show, not the May 16th show. Why did I do this? I blame the fact that I bought the ticket on April 12th when I was quite distracted by other events.

So I didn't get to see the show. What I ended up doing was hanging out at The ESPN Zone drinking Newcastles with some girls from Portland Maine who were drinking some foofoo drinks. I was wearing my Great Lost Bear shirt so that's how I was able to infiltrate their little group.

At one point everybody wanted to go up to Fremont Street. Well, everybody except me. I wanted to take one or more of the lovelies back to my room. But of course I'm much too shy too ever actually suggest such a thing, so I went to Fremont Street with them. I switched to Diet Coke while the girls somehow managed to keep drinking. We formed a sort of structural support, where I ended up walking and standing with all three girls putting almost all of their weight on me. I'm sure we were quite a sight, and I'm also sure that I got a few jealous looks from guys in the crowd.

As it turned out, nothing happened except for some nice kisses that I got for being such a sweet guy. I spent the night with them in their room and then came back here to Mandalay Bay this morning.

Now I have to check out of here and go check in to The Luxor.

Sunday, May 15, 2005
posted by dave at 5:51 PM in category daily, drink, pictures, travel

Today I kinda impressed myself.

I walked from The Stratosphere to Mandalay Bay, a distance of approximately 664,323.4 miles.

I'd never been to The Stratosphere before. I was pretty impressed with all the restaurants and shit they have there. I guess because they're so far out of the way that they pretty much have to be able to provide for their guests.

looking up

Walking up to the thing is pretty impressive. I mean, you know it's tall, but you might not know that it's fucking tall. Don't feel bad. It's a fine line between the two.

looking down

Down there somewhere is the place I stood when I took the first picture.

retarded people

Here are some people that may be about to die. Or at least buy some new underwear.

some idiots

The elevator operator was telling me that when they first opened up this ride they had problems with it. I asked if he meant that it was flinging people to their deaths and he said no just with the wind, where the whole thing would shut down and leave people hanging there.

strip view

another strip view

Anyway, once I left The Stratosphere I waked down to The Riviera. The BCA tournament is going on and I thought I'd look to see if anyone I knew was there. I did see a couple of people from Louisville, but nobody from Omaha or Seattle or New Orleans or Memphis. I plan to go back sometime this week, and I also called a couple of people to see if anyone I knew was at the tournament.

waterfalls in from of wynns

After The Rio I walked to Wynn's new place and checked it out. Pretty cool, but so crowded that I didn't stick around for very long.

When I left Wynn's I walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked to New York New York and went into this place called Nine Fine Irishmen for lunch and some beers.

nine fine irishmen

A pretty beautiful place. I took other pictures but they're all shaky and unviewable, like this one:

shaky bar

I've been thinking about putting a bar in my basement. I don't I could pull something like this off though, what with 7-foot ceilings and all.

Kinsale Irish Lager

(draft) Nowhere on the tap did it have the word lager. That's false advertising as far as I'm concerned, but so is the lack of the phrase watery baby bunny piss. This just might give a Stella a run for its money as the weakest non-American lager in the world.

To wash the taste of that stuff out of my mouth I had a Smithwick's with my lunch, then had another beer that was new to me.

Ballingarry Warehouse Stout

(draft) Lacing doesn't even begin to describe the foam that clung to my glass. A very nice stout - reminded me a lot of Murphy's. There was just a hint of chocolate, but nothing overpowering or pretentious at all. Yummy.

One more thing. The other day I saw a living creature draw its last breath and fall over dead. I thought I'd seen everything after that, but I was wrong. Here's how my fish 'n' chips came packaged:

food as art?

The server told me to just dump the contents of this paper cone onto the plate. I did, but I really felt like I was desecrating a work of art when I did it.

The meal was delicious though.

posted by dave at 7:48 AM in category daily, drink, travel

Sometimes I seem to live in my own little world.

It's a lot like the real world except that it's just a little more bearable.

In my little world, I'm the one being stubborn.

In my world, it's kind of nice sometimes to get to be the mean one, even when the target of my meanness does not deserve it. Much.

Meanwhile the real world just keeps turning, oblivious to my hallucinations.

Here are some pics I took of the Fremont Street Experience last night:

Fremont Street Experience

Fremont Street Experience

Fremont Street Experience


Sin City Amber

(draft) A lager by any other name is still a lager, and I still don't like it. Kind of a sickly-sweet taste that I can't really describe and I don't want to drink more of it just to get a better description.

Chimay Blanche

(draft) A nice beer. Not nearly as sweet as other tripels I've have. I got a subtle undertone that reminded me of smoke. There was very little head, though this may have been caused by the filthy glass. I liked it a lot, but there are a zillion better Belgians out there.

Ate dinner last night at a place called Bar Grill Saloon or maybe Grill Saloon Bar. I shit you not. The burger I had was fantastic though.

When I left Fremont Street I took a cab car automobile back to Mandalay Bay and went to this place location establishment called Burger Bar where I had the beers drinks beverages listed above.

By about midnight the time zone change had completely incapacitated me so I went to sleep.

Saturday, May 14, 2005
posted by dave at 5:19 PM in category daily, travel

Heard the following fortune cookie saying on TV this morning:

It is a foolish fish indeed that gets caught twice with the same bait.

If course this is just a variation on the old fool me once... saying, but since I've used a fish metaphor before I thought it was worth mentioning.

I'm sitting in my room at Mandalay Bay debating where to go tonight. So far I've got it narrowed down to Fremont Street, The Luxor, New York New York, and The Tilted Kilt at The Rio.

In other words, I haven't made up my mind at all.

I did find a place here at Mandalay Bay that serves Fat Tire and Newcastle, so I guess I won't be dying of thirst while I'm here.

posted by dave at 7:36 AM in category daily, drink, travel

Last night I had a splitting headache. A headache that overwhelmed all of the pain sensors normally associated with headaches and spilled over into my teeth and my neck.

To try to dull this pain, I went to Rich O's and had some beer. I hadn't been planning to go but then I found/realized that I didn't have to fly out until 10:30 AM.

My first beer was one I know I've had before but I couldn't find any reference to it here, so I went to RateBeer.com and copied my rating from there:

Tripel Karmeliet

(draft) Had a head that lasted forever. Quite a bit blander than other Belgians I've enjoyed - this had a more lagerish taste to it, and no apple taste at all. Despite that I did like it though.

Next I had a couple of the new NABC Blonde Abbey beers that I wrote about the other day.

None of these helped my headache.

I wanted very badly to make a phone call or send a text message, but I didn't. I guess I should be proud of my restraint, but to even need that restraint indicates a bit of a failure on my part.

Here's the current rambling wisdom for me from Free Will Astrology:

One of the world's longest streets is Figueroa Street in Los Angeles. It runs 30 miles. In contrast, Bridge Street, a lane near my house, is about 50 yards long and connects two lengthy roads to each other. The path you're on right now, Pisces, has a metaphorical resemblance to Bridge Street. Your time on it will be brief, and it will serve as a bridge between two phases of your life story. Soon you'll turn onto a longer thoroughfare more like Figueroa. In the meantime, pay maximum attention to the sights and sounds. This leg of your journey will be short, but it will reveal clues that will be essential as you shift gears.

I can't help but wonder about the timing of this horoscope. I mean, I've got this shoe hovering in the air. I'm off to Las Vegas for a week. I don't feel like anything's really going to change with me during this week, but I guess you never know.

Perhaps I'll hit the jackpot somewhere.

Perhaps I'll meet the girl of my dreams, or at least someone to change my current dreams.

Perhaps I'll see The Grand Canyon and become so inspired that I become an artist or a tree hugger or something and move to some hippie commune.

There's lots of shit that could happen, but I doubt that anything really will.

In fact, just about the only prediction I can make with any sort of confidence is this:

I will not allow this trip to be ruined like the last one was. I'm way too irritated to let myself fall into that same bullshit loop again. Plus, it wil be warm enough that I can actually leave the hotel.

So, I'm outta here. I'll update when I can. Probably every day unless I'm on the road or out enjoying the scenery.

Thursday, May 12, 2005
posted by dave at 8:11 PM in category daily

I leave for Las Vegas in two days and I haven't done a damn thing to get ready.

I need to do laundry, I need to go grocery shopping for cat food, I need to balance my checking account, I need to pack, I need to print out my show tickets and my itineraries.

I'm sure there's more that I won't remember until I'm already on the plane.

I was supposed to be doing some of this stuff tonight, but instead I find myself connecting in to work to work on a study I've been tasked with. It's due tomorrow.

My cat dying last night didn't help my motivation then either.

So hopefully I'll be able to get all this shit done tomorrow after work and still have a short evening at Rich O's before I leave Saturday morning.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005
posted by dave at 7:58 PM in category daily

(crossposted to cats' 'blog)

Today, Spook died.

She'd been falling quickly for the fast couple of weeks, not eating as much, only wanting attention. I tried once to pick her up to take her to the vet but she didn't like that one little bit, so I let her be.

This morning when I left for work Spook was laying on the sidewalk. She didn't get up and come to me like she usually did. She just looked at me and gave her pathetic meow. I figured that she would be dead by the time I got home, so I spent a few extra minutes petting her and telling her what a good kitty she was.

When I got home from work, Spook was on the deck and she raised her head to watch me pull into the garage.

I took a can of food out to the deck and poured it into her bowl. She came over and took a bite, purring loudly. She always liked to be petted while she ate, and this always made her purr.

After she took a bite of food, she fell over.

She died with her eyes open, so the last thing she saw was me. The last thing she felt was me petting her. The last sound she made was a purr. The last sound she heard was me saying

You like that food, don't you Spooky? What a good kitty!

I tried to dig a hole for her, but ended up putting her into the hole I'd discovered in my yard the other day.

It's under the Japanese Maple. She always liked it there.

I'm sure this will hit me harder at some point.

I added a small bit about her to my Cats of the Past page.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005
posted by dave at 6:48 PM in category daily, drink, pictures

...the recognition I deserve!

ultimate shirt

Here we see the lovely MisunderstoodGirl modelling the next big thing in fashion.

Also, the NABC surprised us by unveiling a new beer today.

NABC Blonde Abbey

This is what I've been waiting for! A Belgian that won't kill me if I have more than one in a night! Very good, it reminded me of NABC's Tunnel Vision except not quite as sweet. Could use a little more carbonation, and it lacks the appley taste I've become accustomed to from Belgians. I liked it a lot, and I'm looking forward to the next batch to see if they up the carbonation a little.
Sunday, May 8, 2005
posted by dave at 11:38 PM in category daily

Did absolutely nothing today except yard stuff.

Mowed with the rider, then mowed with the walker, then ate weeds with the weedeater, then sprayed vegetation killer where it was needed.

All just to have to do it again in a week.

And I've got this huge hole in my backyard where a groundhog or a bear or something has its burrow. The damn thing is a foot wide and seems to go all the way to Hell. My first thought was to just get a bunch of dirt and/or concrete and fill the hole, but that just seems mean if the creature is down there with a bunch of offspring.

I'm such a fucking softie.

Maybe I'll lower a radio playing heavy metal music down the hole. Isn't that what we did to Noriega?

posted by dave at 9:19 AM in category daily, drink

Yesterday I went to a Derby party at my friend Eric's house.

I really only knew Eric and Terri there, but there were also some people from high school that I at least remembered. There were a lot of kids running and screaming. All of the kids were boys. I thought that was a little strange.

Drank some Blue Moon and threw some horseshoes. I now officially suck at horseshoes. Not that I was ever great but I was always better than that.

I drew two horses in the $5.00 pool. One was the favorite and the other was like a 12-1 shot or something. I think they're both still running.

Left the party at seven-ish to get showered and head down to Rich O's.

Rich O's was moderately dead. I sat alone in the living room area for quite a while, drinking a Founder's Red Rye and feeling a little depressed. I think it was seeing all the happy families at the party and feeling like that life is something I'll never experience again.

There's something you say to only a few people in your lifetime. To feel it in your heart but be unable and/or unwilling to say it is kind of a pain. Plus it'd be kind of nice to think that the other person would at least be listening.

After a while this dude that looks like Buddy Rich sat with me. I had a Newcastle Brown Ale and we just talked about various crap.

I came home at about 11:00 and played pool until 4:00.

So this morning I'm a little irritated with myself for letting my mood slip last night.

Saturday, May 7, 2005
posted by dave at 10:09 AM in category daily, dreams

After I left the bar last night I went up to listen to some karaoke. My uncle Wayne was there, as was my aunt Carol. The place was pretty dead otherwise.

At one point I remembered that National Treasure was out on DVD so I drove back to New Albany to pick up a copy at Walmart then I went to White Castle.

I guess Derby eve is some kind of cruising holiday or something. In Louisville I gather that this means jamming the streets and getting arrested, but in New Albany it means that everybody goes to White Castle and stands around in the parking lot.

It was pretty cool to drive my Monte Carlo in and park it among all those ricers. Nice to remind them what a real car looks like.

Walked into White Castle and, lo and behold, MixedSignalGirl was standing in line with one of her friends. We hadn't seen each other or even talked since things disintegrated back in February. I lied and told her I was doing fine, she lied and told me she was looking for a job. It was just like old times except that we didn't go home together.

Once I did get home I called her up and apologized if I'd seemed a little standoffish. We talked for a while and ended up agreeing that going our separate ways was the right thing to do. Between my baggage and her hangups it was just too much work.

She'd read here about LaptopGirl visiting but she thankfully dropped the subject when I told her I really didn't want to talk about it. I think she always knew she was competing with that ghost - even though I always denied it.

So I guess it was a nice way to end the night. I don't feel nearly as bad about her as I did when we broke up. Partly because I can tell she's doing fine, and partly because I now know for sure why I was not able to provide what she was looking for.

I only watched about half of my movie before I fell asleep on the couch.

I dreamed that the UPS guy had dropped off a package all the way out in the middle of my yard, and I had to go get it while I was naked. I don't know why I didn't stop to put clothes on first. I should have at least covered up my morning erection.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005
posted by dave at 11:34 PM in category daily, drink

Tonight, I missed her.

I thought for a while that my good mood was coming to an end, but then I realized that the reason I missed her was that I wanted to share my continuing good mood with her. Never mind how impossible that would be. Kind of like a snowflake wanting to spend a day at the beach with a magnifying glass.

VigilanteGirl got her hair cut. I guess that her boss and I are the only ones who noticed. Bonus points for me!

Today is MisunderstoodGirl's birthday, so I broke a long-standing tradition by going out on a Tuesday night. I also broke a recent vow by going to this Mac & Cheese bar to help her ring in her new year.

To drink, I had a couple of Newcastles. The first one came in a glass that was encrusted with at least 1/8 inch of frost. The second one I had the girl pour into the old glass.

In attendance tonight besides MisunderstoodGirl, RealTrainGirl, and me, were about a half-dozen people that I didn't (and still don't) know. One girl was fairly hot.

MisunderstoodGirl talked me into taking a sip of this Jager Bomb or some such. A sip is all it took for me to know that I wouldn't be finishing it. There's still just one person in the world that I'll drink a shot with, and she's in Washington state, and she's named Holly.

Hi Holly!

Anyway, I figure that since I'm to the point of feeling nostalgic it's about time for me to be shit upon again so I can go back to being irritated.

Now it's 11:30 and I know it'll take me another several hours to unwind enough to sleep. This phone sits here taunting me but I will control myself. There's nothing to say anyway.

Monday, May 2, 2005
posted by dave at 11:31 PM in category daily, drink, ramblings

Man I'm tired.

My early morning excitement has gradually been overtaken and surpassed by the realization that there is virtually no scenario I can imagine wherein all this ends well.

I just noticed that I've used the word wherein three times in two days. I really need to buy a thesaurus.

Anyway, to die in my sleep has always seemed like one of the worst ways to go. A life should be experienced, and that should include the end of a life. To go out in a plane crash, or a fire, or a shooting, to feel something right up to and including the last moments of life - that's how I want to go.

I don't want to go to sleep one night and just never wake up. I want to SCREAM my last breath.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this - it just doesn't seem right to let things fade away. Some things deserve a grand exit. Some things deserve closure. Some things do not deserve to be pushed aside so they can fade over time and eventually be forgotten completely.

Abrupt topic shift here...

After work today I met up with RealTrainGirl at Rich O's. I had an NABC Bourbondaddy. After a while MisunderstoodGirl and GreenBeerDude came in. Tomorrow is MisunderstoodGirl's birthday, and they're going to this Mac & Cheese's bar that I don't really like. I don't know if I'm going or not. I don't like the bar and it's a Tuesday night. It's Amazing Race night, and I have to work Wednesday. We'll see.

Oh yeah, Roger told me that Rich O's will have Newcastle on tap for a while! I'd like to be able to figure out a way to convince him to carry it all the time but he thinks it competes with one of their NABC beers. I think the only similarity is the alcohol content. I'm very much looking forward to being able end my sessions with Newcastle for the next few weekends.

Another abrupt topic shift here...

I'm feeling a little guilty about this past weekend. I have no reason to feel this way, but a lack of reason has never stopped me before. It's not like I'm going to do anything about it - it's just an observation.

Man I'm tired.

Sunday, May 1, 2005
posted by dave at 7:52 PM in category daily

This morning I got Burger King breakfast for me and VigilanteGirl. I ordered the same thing I've always ordered - two Croissanwhatevers with sausage egg and cheese, and an order of hash browns.

I didn't even finish the first Croissanwhatever. I think my stomach is shrinking or something.

Early in the afternoon I tried to mow my yard. It's dried out enough but the temperature outside was about 60 and I'd guess that the wind chill was about minus 342. I only got the front yard mowed before I gave up.

Got a call from TrainGirl!

She had, as I'd figured, already heard about MiddleNameGuy's passing. We just did a little bit of catching up. She says she's happy where she's at, and she sounded happy, but then again she always sounded happy to me. She also asked that question I hate but it didn't bother me, coming from her.

I complained a little to her that Rich O's has lost a lot of its appeal to me. Most of the women that used to frequent the place have either moved out of state or are going to other bars. There are a few leftovers from the old days, like TallLady and Bubbles, but for the most part the women that have been coming into Rich O's lately are so LOUD that they get irritating very quickly. At least my old female friends could hold their alcohol.

The only other thing I've done today is play pool.

Saturday, April 30, 2005
posted by dave at 11:21 AM in category daily, drink

Last night, I didn't even leave my house until nearly 10:00 because a half-hour process for work turned into a two-hour one. The person that had made the error is also the person that caught it, and found the solution for it, so that was cool. Eventually.

I'd been planning to meet up with RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl, but by the time I left home they had already migrated to another bar - one that I didn't want to go to - so I told them I was just going to Rich O's.

I probably would have been better off at the other bar.

Rich O's is, as I'd feared, out of Noble Smoker. I ended up having an NABC Bourbondaddy and after that the place was SO LOUD that I couldn't even hear myself think so I left at about 11:30 and went to wait for OutOfTheBlueGirl to get off work.

We ended up going down to Caesars and hanging out there for a while. It was pretty good to see her again.

This morning I overslept and I had two funerals I was supposed to go to and I'm not going to make it to either of them.

Thursday, April 28, 2005
posted by dave at 7:52 PM in category daily

Yet another exciting day. Not.

This morning I awakened with the very vivid, very disturbing, memory of a dream I'd been having. Without getting too specific I'll just say "ewwww" and hope I don't have that dream again.

Today was the last day I have to wear a tie to work until September. I'm very excited about going to business casual dress for the Summer.

My intentions for VigilanteGirl remain less than honorable. As do her's for me, I hope. Too much drama otherwise.

My niece Bethany is graduating from high school next month. I'm mildly freaked out about it.

The problem with the Spring in Southern Indiana is that it's almost impossible to mow your lawn every week. Between last weekend's near-freezing weather and this weekend's rain my own lawn looks like it will go at least three weeks without a mowing.

Got a fairly firm estimate on my car repairs today. To fix everything it will cost $2160 plus tax. Ouch.

Today was rugrat day at work.

I think I know who was sending all the hateful messages to me last Fall. If I'm right, I have decided to forgive the person.

Man I'm bored.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005
posted by dave at 8:31 PM in category daily, drink, work

Just some stuff about my day. I'm killing time until Lost gets tivoed enough that I can watch it and skip all the commercials.

By the way, if you're not watching Lost, then you're missing out on a great show.

Scratch that - if you're not watching Lost then you suck.

Anyway, today for work we had to do some bullshit.

I've often said that while I don't consider myself especially smart, I do think that a lot of other people are idiots.

After today, I see no reason to revise that assertion.

One good thing about work today was that I got to have a Newcastle Brown Ale during lunch. Yummy and anyone *cough* Roger *cough* that thinks otherwise is obviously so far up the ladder of beer snobbery that there is little hope for common ground between us.

After work I went to Rich O's and had one of the last NABC Noble Smokers, maybe forever. No, I haven't sworn off beer, it's just that they're on their last keg and I remain pessimistic about this fine smoked beer ever coming back.

As I was getting ready to leave Rich O's I saw, lo and behold, that RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl had come in with GreenBeerDude. I had myself a Diet Coke and did some catching up. The girls are having a party the day after I return from Las Vegas (but that's not the reason, silly) so I'll need to stretch my good-mood goal out one extra day to the 21st.

I think I can do it.

Got home and checked out my new garage door opener. No more hernias for me from opening the door on my detached garage. Yay!

I guess that's it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
posted by dave at 7:55 AM in category daily, pictures

Got a call from the mechanic about my Monte Carlo today.

So far, they've determined that:

  • I need a new battery (no surprise there)
  • The gas in the car went bad over the Winter.
  • The carburator is probably fucked up because of the bad gas.
  • There is a mouse nest in the insulation on the hood.
  • A part of the exhaust system is getting red hot, probably due to a blockage.
  • This same blockage is probably what caused the split I mentioned before.
  • The aforementioned mice have chewed several wires.

So far I know I'll be paying $70 for a new battery. After that it gets a little muddy.

If my entire exhaust system needs to be replaced I'm looking at about $1000.

The carburator work is mostly labor and is estimated at $200 to rebuild, or maybe $400 to replace.

For the wiring, he can't really give me an estimate until he surveys the damage done.

Then there's draining the fuel system to get rid of all the bad gas, and there's also the regular tune-up stuff I want done.

I'm starting to think that my initial $2000 estimate is going to be pretty close.

This of course sucks, but it sucks even more right now because I've got two bills I'd really been planning to use my tax refund to catch up on, and my property taxes are due on May 10th.

I need to figure out a way to keep the damn mice out of that car during the Winters. I've thought about installing a cat door but then I imagine I'd have all sorts of woodland creatures in there. Creatures even more destructive than mice.

I miss the days when I was rich.

field and garage

Above is a picture of my childhood neighborhood. The buildings on the right are where my car is getting worked on. The empty field to the left is where my house used to be. This is why I trust these people - I grew up across the street from them. At least I did after the dog beater and his family moved away and their house burned down and the mechanic built his business.

Monday, April 25, 2005
posted by dave at 6:43 PM in category daily

Out of the blue I got voicemails from two people I haven't heard from in a long time.

First, TrainGirl proved that MiddleNameGuy is full of shit by not only remembering me, but actually calling me.

Second, a flame from over seven years ago somehow got my cell phone number. I'm trying to ignore the stalkerish implications of this and am actively rehearsing the conversation that will take place when I call her back.

Sunday, April 24, 2005
posted by dave at 2:04 PM in category daily

My Monte Carlo is sick.

It rarely gets driven in the Winter, and this past winter it didn't get driven at all because of a "check engine" light that came on in November.

So it's either sick or pouting.

My battery is shot, or maybe my alternator. One of my exhaust pipes has a split in it. My cousin says he smells something that indicates the catalytic convertor may be bad.

I took it to the garage and dropped it off with a note that I'd call about it in the morning.

I'll be happy if I end up spending less than two thousand getting it back in tiptop shape. I don't really have a choice. I promised myself when my dad died that I'd either take proper care of the Monte Carlo or I'd sell it to someone who would take care of it.

And I don't want to sell it.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
posted by dave at 4:50 AM in category daily, drink

Well I'm told that I have to write something.

I don't feel like it, but I will comply. I'll write about Saturday night.

Yippee.

Rich O's was almost empty for most of the night. NotGeorge and I sat in the living room area and bullshitted for a while.

I had two pints of NABC Noble Smoker.

At one point some stupid people came and sat with us so I got irritated.

Right when they were getting ready to close up my friend Eric called - he was in the parking lot. Since Rich O's was closing Eric and I went to the bar next door and shot some pool for a while.

Monday, April 11, 2005
posted by dave at 7:35 AM in category daily

(A follow-up to this entry from last week.)

This entry will be a lot shorter than I originally planned. I must have written 10,000 words over the last week. Most of them are now obsolete, and many more I wrote without ever intending to publish them. I'm just going to provide some excerpts.

-----------------------------------------------------------

(Monday, April 4th @ 10:22 PM)

Wow. Just...wow.

That may be it, folks. It may not get any more eloquent than that.

Sometime during the next several days, I'm not sure exactly when but sometime this week, she is coming back to visit.

...

Something will happen. It may last just a second. She may walk into the bar, spit in my face, and walk out. She may walk in and then ignore me. She may be the same sweet and innocent person she's always been. It doesn't matter, because regardless of what happens next, there will be that single moment, when I see her for the first time since all this shit started - there will be at least that single moment when everything is possible. When every terrible possibility and every wonderful possibility and every imaginable and unimaginable possibility in between come together...

Since this all started, I've been groping about in the dark. Sometime during the next few days that will change.

Sometime, during the next few days, I'll find either a light switch or an exit.

Sometime, during the next few days, there will be light.

(Tuesday, April 5th @ 7:19 PM)

...

I'm excited because when I see her and don't completely freak out or piss myself or have a heart attack or drop to one knee, that's when I'll know with certainty that I've managed to pull myself out of this Black Pit Of Despair And Fucking Woe Is Me Life Is So Unfair that I fell into when she left.

I want to see her, absolutely. I miss my friend dearly. But - and this is vastly more important - I want to be a person again. To myself and to everyone else I want to be a person instead of a collection of symptoms.

...

(Wednesday, April 6th @ 10:34 PM)

...

So today has been a little tough. I want to get this over with.

My heart is just trying to do what it thinks is right. It's trying to prepare itself. It's just jumping the gun a little, and if it gets all worked up and sad and angry over not seeing her, it will find itself woefully unprepared for the still-likely event that I do get to see her.

I want to document this entire week. It's important. Perhaps the most important few days of my life. If I don't succeed in making myself whole this week, well, I don't have a plan B. If I don't resolve things this week, I may never do it. I may spend the rest of my life not just alone, but feeling alone. I may spend the rest of my life missing something that I never wanted in the first place.

...

(Thursday, April 7th @ 6:30 PM)


I've been getting text messages. I'll see her tonight.

I'm actually not nervous at all. That's weird.

(Friday, April 8th @ 12:24 AM)

I am at a complete loss for words.

She's so fucking beautiful.

I did not freak out. I did not piss myself, or have a heart attack. I did not drop to one knee.

No, it was much worse than that.

(Saturday, April 9th @ 10:30 PM)

Well that was an exciting day of disappointment piled upon bullshit.

Seems just like old times.

(Sunday, April 10th @ 10:30 PM)

I started this period hoping, expecting really, to have a lot of my questions answered.

Didn't work out that way.

Oh, I got the one big question answered, and that answer was very surprising to me, but I'm still wondering about some other things.

(Monday, April 11th @ 7:30 AM)

Well I'm sure she'll be gone by the time I get off work.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So, that's it. The end of an era.

Didn't get the closure I was hoping for. Kind of hard to get closure when there was never an opening I guess.

This will be the last entry on this subject. I have a promise to keep.

Sunday, April 10, 2005
posted by dave at 3:00 PM in category daily

I wonder if I can get Floyd County to put this sign up in front of my house:

dumb dog area

I've written before about Dino, my neighbor's dog that helps me mow my lawn.

Well today I mowed my lawn for the first time this Spring, and of course Dino came running (hobbling actually - he's got arthritis) to help and ran right in front of a car.

He didn't get hit, just maybe startled a little.

After a while, Dino decided to go swimming so he went back across the street, and walked right in front of another car.

Once again, he didn't get hit.

Are you sensing a pattern yet?

No less than five times total did Dino tempt fate by walking straight across the road without even thinking about checking for traffic first.

Eventually I suppose he'll get hit and killed. I hope I'm not there when it happens.

He's a good boy, just a little dumb.

Monday, April 4, 2005
posted by dave at 7:48 PM in category daily

You know how you're driving in the snow at night and the flakes all seem to be flying towards you in the illumination from your headlights and it's kind of chaotic and hypnotic at the same time?

Well, it's not a very accurate metaphor for what's going on with me right now, but I still thinks it's cool.

I'm taking a break.

Not a break from posting.

Just a break from posting anything interesting.

It won't be a long break - maybe a week at the most. And the good news (for me at least) is that I'll still be writing, and I'll probably post everything I've written once this break is over.

My reasons for this break are numerous:

1. Things are unraveling and reweaving at a pretty strong pace in my head and in my life right now. I don't want to post something only to have it made obsolete by the next thought I have or the next thing that happens. I need to have some time to edit and check for some semblance of continuity before I publish anything.

2. Right now, I'm the happiest I've been since November. I don't want to spoil this mood by ruminating on the various possibilities of what could happen this week.

3. Yay!

4. What's going to happen is, frankly, what's supposed to happen. I don't want to influence anything by making predictions or posting reactions until it's all over.

5. Some things are not anybody's business.

6. This will, one way or another, be the end of an era. I want anything I write about it to be both good and accurate. I'll need to take my time with these writings, and having a self-imposed daily deadline just won't do.

7. See number 4 above.

8. Yay!

9. I'm not the same person I was 6 months ago. I'm not even the same person I was 24 hours ago. I need to finish solidifying and then let the new me decide what should, and what should not be posted.

In the time between now and when things have settled down, I'll probably still be posting to this 'blog. I'll just be posting bullshit that, according to the latest polls, nobody cares about.

So, loyal readers, don't fret that I've become boring again, just hours after I'd finally posted something interesting. My life promises to be quite interesting for the next several days, and you'll be able to read about it later.

Just not right now. I've got a nervous breakdown to attend.

Sunday, April 3, 2005
posted by dave at 10:05 AM in category daily, drink, pictures

It seems that there was a sporting event of some kind last night. People stayed home to watch, then when it was over, I guess they all went and threw themselves off the Sherman Minton bridge. Whatever people were doing, they weren't at Rich O's.

Here's Rich O's at 8:45 on a Saturday night:

where is everybody

man is it dead or what

LaptopGirl and I used to say, on those nights when Rich O's was dead, that all of the cool people must be at some fantastic party. A party to which we weren't invited. Last night was like I was the one having the party, but nobody felt like coming.

Anyway, the place was dead. I caught a glimpse of CoffeeDude, and DisgustingMakeoutCouple showed up after a while, but other than that it was me and the bartenders. By the time I left at midnight a whopping dozen or so strangers had managed to push aside their grief over some guys scoring more points than some other guys, so the place was only quiet, no longer dead.

To drink, I had (surprise!) an NABC Noble Smoker. DayShiftDude recommended a Schlenkerla Fastenbier so I had a half-pint of that.

Schlenkerla Fastenbier

Supposedly lighter in smoke than Schlenkerla's other rauchbiers, and I guess that's right because I didn't feel like I was eating a charcoal briquette. I'd say it was pretty good for one glass. By the time I finished my second glass I was pretty much smoked out.

I drank my beers in a silence interrupted only by the occasional interloper to the living room area. I had some news on my mind that I was trying to come to grips with. Not sure that I really made any progress, and any that I did make was overshadowed later, so I guess the night was pretty much a wash for me.

Oh, yeah. I stopped and protected VigilanteGirl from some mumbling crazy guy. He was really creepy so I stayed for a while to make sure he didn't come back.

I'm such a stud.

Saturday, April 2, 2005
posted by dave at 3:16 PM in category daily, drink, family

Last night I went to Rich O's.

I'll give you a few seconds to recover from that shocking news.

...

...

...

Okay, now breathe. It'll be okay. The Sun'll come out tomorrow.

Actually, the night started out with other plans. My sister Dina had called me to say that she and SpoonsGirl would be at a bar called O'Shea's in Louisville, and I figured that I'd go there and hang out with them.

Right after I left home, however, Dina called me to tell me that O'Shea's had been boring and that they were now at a place on Market called Farmer Brown's or some such.

A few relayed questions to the bartender confirmed that this Buster Brown's or wherever had only piss on tap, and I told Dina that I'd be going to Rich O's after all.

They joined me, and we spent a few hours in the red room talking about various stuff.

At one point this guy (one of those fucking pretty boys that always gets his way that I hate) tried to pick up one or both of the girls with the classic line, "I'm going to the store, do either of you need anything?"

My sister rattled off a shopping list consisting of feminine hygiene products and various ointments and creams. It was quite funny.

To drink, I had (of course) a couple pints of of NABC Noble Smoker. Dina had two "peachy things" which I guess were Lindemann's, and SpoonsGirl had something so boring I can't remember. Probably Spaten Lager.

After I left I went to listen to some karaoke with my cousin. There was a girl there that I went to school with but didn't really know. I will say that BigHairGirl is aging quite well.

Once I got home I played pool, pausing every minute or so to glare at my cell phone, until about 4:00 then went to bed.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005
posted by dave at 9:24 PM in category daily, weather

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

It's hard to think of things to write when I'm in a good mood.

It's supposed to storm tonight. Maybe that will bring a little interest to my life.

I used to really like stormy weather. I still do I guess. I mean I still look forward to the Spring storm season. I've noticed, however, that since I stopped renting and actually bought a house, I'm no longer quite as excited over the prospect of having a tornado tear down my street.

The dreadicipation over the upcoming weekend is starting to make itself known. Not really suffering from surprisaphobia right now - I'm just not quite comfortable with things as they are. And I feel like things will be changing soon.

Last night, I had a beer that a friend of mine had made - his first homebrewing effort. I liked it okay. There was no carbonation to speak of, and I know that'll disappoint him. It was also very sweet, almost like sweetened iced tea. A hell of a lot better than any first attempt of mine would ever be, that's a safe bet.

Let's see, Friday I'm having my taxes done. I'm expecting a big drop in my refund amount over what it was the last few years. I dropped a couple of percentage points on my mortgage interest when I refinanced last Spring. Hopefully I'll still have enough left to blow in Las Vegas or Orlando over the next couple of months.

Gee, pretty exciting entry, wasn't it?

Tuesday, March 29, 2005
posted by dave at 10:03 PM in category daily

Last night I killed seven wasps in my house.

Tonight I've killed four so far.

I hope they're not coming from my attic. I'm afraid that I'll stick my head up there and find a five-foot nest or something.

Then I'll have to move.

posted by dave at 10:00 PM in category daily

One of the more interesting things that MaineGirl and I did the other night was this game she does with her friends. After we'd talked for a couple of hours, we each wrote down twenty questions for the other. We answered each question on a separate piece of paper, then traded answers. We had to try to match our questions with their answers.

Of course, it was all just a way to keep the conversation stimulated. I don't see how it could work if the people playing actually knew each other and ever planned to see them again. The questions asked of me were way too personal.

Anyway, here are my answers, changed slightly to protect privacy. Don't bother asking what the questions were:

1. Short answer: Yes. Long answer: It's like that [transitory period] when you wish you didn't but you do anyway. I know it's stupid, but for now I just have to accept it.

2. Absolutely, right away. And want is the operative word there. It used to be need and that terrified me.

3. No, though I came close once. I showed great willpower. It's just not my place to ask that.

4. I'm actually counting on that. If that's not the case then I've got a whole new set of problems.

5. You know, I really don't. I have to force myself to even picture that situation, and the picture I come up with is not a good one. Sometimes I wish that was what I wanted, because then at least all of this would make sense.

6. I suppose I'd get used to it like I've gotten used to everything else. No choice really.

7. Oh, I wouldn't say that it wouldn't affect me. It would affect the hell out of me. But even that would be better than the alternatives.

8. How about hate? How about pity? How about mockery? How about fear? How about nothingness? I'd say that any of those would be much worse.

9. I think I pretty much forfeited those privileges a long time ago. I don't know for sure but I figure better safe than sorry.

10. If that's the case then I owe yet another apology. I hope it's not the case.

11. Well of course it would. I'm not a robot. Not completely anyway. Not anymore. But not just good. More like bittersweet.

12. I wouldn't be surprised at all. I think I would be if the situation were reversed.

13. Maybe. I guess anything's possible, but that would really surprise me. I've never seen any potential for those kinds of feelings.

14. I think that would crush me.

15. I think because that would be proof of nothingness.

16. Nope. I was going to, when it first started, but I ran out of time.

17. Because then it was the right thing to do, but now I don't think it would solve any problems. Probably just make more.

18. I used to. Now, I'm not so sure.

19. Easy. Exactly where it started. Nothing more, nothing less.

20. I don't, but I can hope, right?

Thursday, March 24, 2005
posted by dave at 12:47 AM in category daily

Spent tonight balancing my checking account in preparation for my Maine trip.

I really need to do it more often. The last time I even bothered was in December, so I had three bank statements and three months of debit card receipts to go through.

Back in my poorer days, I'd live payday to payday, and keeping track of my account was an absolute necessity. These days I know I'm not going to bounce anything so I get lazy.

NotGeorge called me tonight to tell me how exciting it was at Rich O's. I had a hard time caring. I've had a hard time caring about a lot of stuff lately.

I am fairly excited about my trip though. This weekend will not just be a break from my normal life here in Indiana, it will also be a test. A test to see if I can enjoy my own company again.

I have my doubts, but I've been wrong before.

Oh, yeah. I fucking slept for a whopping 2 hours last night.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
posted by dave at 12:29 AM in category daily

One of my neighbors mowed his fucking lawn today.

Well, not really his lawn I guess, more like his pasture, but it's still too damn early to be doing that shit.

This is one of the few things about Spring that I dread. Mowing my lawn and the requisite weedeating that follows.

When I get rich again, I'll pay somebody to do this for me.

posted by dave at 12:25 AM in category daily, ramblings

I guess I've been using the wrong word to describe my state.

The word I was using was paranoia. It just doesn't fit. I don't think people are conspiring against me.

Some alternatives I considered were nervousness and anxiousness. Those words don't quite fit either. They, to me at least, imply that there is something specific to be nervous or anxious about. An actor, for example, may get nervous before a performance.

Another contender was jumpy, but that seems to imply a vulnerability to a very broad range of occurrences, mostly resulting in a negative reaction.

I began to suspect that the word to describe me doesn't exist. Tonight I asked a friend of mine from Rich O's, who is a mental health professional, if he could think of anything that would properly label me. Besides asshole. Ha ha.

He couldn't think of a good diagnosis on the phone, but he promised to look into it further and let me know.

For now, lacking a better term, I'm going to go with surprisaphobia.

A bartender asked me today if I'd been in Monday night. I answered "No" but I was thinking "Why? What did I miss? What happened? Why are you asking? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Tonight, NotGeorge calls me out of the blue to see if I'm going to Rich O's. I never go to Rich O's when I have to work the next day, but I'm thinking "He's never called me before. What's going on that he's trying to get me to come down there for? What would I find there if I went? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Surprisaphobic definitely describes my mood as I drove to the bar. I just wanted to get whatever it was over with. I didn't want to have to wait another night to find out what it was.

It was nothing.

There was nothing unusual about the night at all.

So now I feel silly, but at least I've got a new term to describe myself.

Surprisaphobia: The fear of being surprised.

Sunday, March 20, 2005
posted by dave at 9:14 AM in category daily, drink, entertainment

I don't think it would have been that bad.

I mean, I knew it was a bad idea, but it wouldn't have been the end of the world or anything. I wouldn't have said anything that hadn't already been implied (or at least inferred) a zillion times.

I knew it was a bad idea though. Kind of like breaking a taboo. There are some things that you just don't do. No matter how strong, or how persistent, the urge is.

So last night, sitting at Rich O's enjoying my two pints of Noble Smoker, I kept reaching for my phone. I'd take a drink from my beer, take a drag from my cigarette, and reach for my phone. Then sanity would kick in for a second and I'd jerk my hand away from the cursed thing.

This cycle repeated for the entire two hours I was there.

It would have crossed a line, and I've crossed way too many of those already. This one I need to honor. I know this, but as my brain becomes soddened my heart becomes bolder, and I think we all know that my heart cares little for right, or for propriety, or even for common sense.

So here's what I did: I gave my phone to CoffeeDude and asked him to hold on to it until this morning.

Most weekends it's just something I notice and laugh off. This pressure. Last night I found myself doubting my ability to resist the urge to use that phone.

It was a pretty uneasy feeling. Most of the time I'm possessed of fairly strong willpower (except for the smoking thing) but lately it's been tougher and tougher to keep myself reeled in. Last night, I was afraid that the line would break.

Last night, I found that I didn't trust myself to do the right thing. Or to not do the wrong thing. Whatever.

After I'd entrusted my phone to CoffeeDude, I went over to another bar. A friend from Rich O's is in a band, and they were playing a gig at this place just around the corner.

I had a good time. The place had Newcastle on tap, and that was a pleasant surprise. Of course I could only have one as I'd already had two pints of the 7.5% Noble Smoker.

Came home a little after 1:00 and dreamed of what might have happened if I'd hung onto my phone.

Thursday, March 17, 2005
posted by dave at 9:33 PM in category daily, ramblings

Yesterday my thoughts were all about excuses and justification.

Today they're all about trepidation and apprehension.

I think it's a Thursday thing. The weekend is approaching and, chances are, the weekend is when the shit will hit the fan.

Probably not this weekend, maybe not ever, but that doesn't stop me from obsessing over the horrible possibility each and every week as Friday approaches.

I've got one hurdle left to cross. One potential obstacle standing between me and my goal of being a sane person again.

This scenario is, fortunately, not very likely. I could actually go so far as to call it unlikely. But I still can't stop worrying about it. Obsessing over it.

No matter how much I try, no matter how often I envision myself crossing that barrier, I just don't think I'd be able to do it.

I think I'd turn around and walk the other way.

I think I'd fling shit into the fan.

I've gotten to know myself and my own capabilities (or lack thereof) pretty well over the last several months. I've learned to handle a lot. A lot more than I thought I could. I also discovered some fragility that I didn't know existed.

I'm pretty sure that I couldn't handle this.

This would trip me up. This would shatter my sanity. Like a waiter that drops an overloaded tray of dishes, I'd lose the grip I hold on my own mind, and drop it. Watch it fall and shatter into a million pieces.

If I could see it coming first, before I was forced to try yet doomed to fail, I don't think I'd even try.

I think I'd turn around and walk the other way.

Watch out for flying shit.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005
posted by dave at 10:41 PM in category daily, ramblings

I guess I do some of my best, or worst, thinking after work, sitting at Rich O's while I drink a beer and wait for my food.

Best because I finally get some time to myself, away from the paperwork and politicking at work. I can start thinking about things that are relevant to my life instead of those things that are only relevant to my job.

Worst because once I let my mind start to wander it jumps on a thought and develops inertia quickly, and getting it to veer away from an uncomfortable subject has become increasingly difficult. If not impossible.

Sometimes I actually long for the crazy days when my mind couldn't hold a single thought for more than a few minutes.

But those days are gone, and my mind will ruminate and ponder and obsess over whatever it wants. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it except let it go and wait for the thought to play itself out.

Case in point: Today at 5:30 I was thinking about justification and excuses. Now it's 10:26 and I'm still thinking about them.

I want justification. I crave it, need it, perhaps even deserve it.

But not that way.

People tell me stuff. Either directly or through hints, they tell me things that they think will dissipate this cloud that they perceive around me. They tell me things that they think will excuse and explain.

They think they're helping me, but what they're actually doing is scaring the shit out of me.

If I have to face one of my darkest fears to justify some of my deepest pains, then no thanks.

Sunday, March 13, 2005
posted by dave at 6:20 PM in category daily, ramblings

...like just now when I was sorting my laundry and glanced out the window to see a veritable blizzard.

I certainly wasn't expecting that. I'd figured that the time for snow was in the past.

Still, it's very pretty.

Saturday, March 12, 2005
posted by dave at 6:06 PM in category daily, entertainment

Today I went down to our local Caesar's, ostensibly to have a pint of Newcastle, but I knew I'd also do at least a little gambling.

Well I did have my Newcastle, and I also did quite a lot of people watching while I was at it. There are some real freaks in Southern Indiana, and I'm grateful that I'm not one of them.

I'm not, right?

After my beer I went into the casino and, after much searching, finally found a blackjack table with an empty seat. I got $100 worth of chips, vowing that once that was gone I'd be done for the day.

I then proceeded to win forty of the next fifty hands I played. At $10 per hand, and with some blackjacks thrown in, I more than quadrupled my money in about an hour.

I like blackjack, and I certainly like winning, but it can be a very hectic and confusing game sometimes. Yes, I'll admit it. I get confused when I have a 12 or a 13 showing and the dealer's showing crap. I also get confused with an ace sometimes.

So anyway, despite my winning, I was becoming a little overwhelmed with all of the nonstop decisions that had to be made, so I picked up my chips and went to another favorite game - pai gow poker.

It's a relaxing game that usually only requires one or two decisions per minute. There are also a lot more pushes than there are in blackjack, so even if I don't win a hand I have a 66% chance of at least not losing anything.

After about an hour of pai gow poker, the place started getting even more crowded, so I cashed in.

I left with my original $100, plus $513 of the casino's money that I will use to help finance my upcoming trip to Maine.

What was really cool about winning some money, aside of course from it being money was that it was the first time I'd won at our local Caesar's in several years. I normally have pretty good luck in Las Vegas, but the local casino has not been friendly to me since 2001 when I pretty much lived off my winnings for two months.

Oh, yeah. I saw a couple of my sister Dina's friends while I was there. I waved at them and the girl just sheepishly waved back. She had no clue who I was at first, but after a while they came over to my pai gow table and said hello.

Wednesday, March 9, 2005
posted by dave at 11:23 PM in category daily, ramblings

Lately people keep asking me what my plans are.

What am I doing Saturday? Will I be at Rich O's Friday?

Here's a little secret: I have no plans.

What I have are impulses. Some idea or opportunity presents itself, and I go with it. I get invited to a concert to hear a band I never heard of, and I go. I hear about a cool bar in Maine, so I buy plane tickets. I sit in Las Vegas and realize that Death Valley is only a few hours away, so I rent a car. I just go and do it.

I also have habits. I do things because they're what I've done before. They're what I've become accustomed to doing.

Every now and then, however, an inkling or a desire or even a habit will turn into a plan. It will turn into a plan because I just had to go and tell someone about it.

This causes two problems with me.

First, it's just a lot of pressure, knowing a day or a week in advance what I'll be doing. What I have to be doing, because I planned it. I tell people that I'll be in a certain place at a certain time and, by God, I better be there. To do otherwise would be irresponsible.

The second problem with telling people my plans is that, once I tell them, they'll know about them. They can then begin to scheme and plot, because they know my plans.

This happened last month when, on the Monday before my birthday, my sister called me up to "casually" ask what my plans were for Saturday night. Her fiancé ";just happened" to be going out of town and so she "just wondered" if I'd be going to Rich O's.

All kinds of alarms started going off in my head, for I know my sister, and I was pretty sure that she wasn't going to let my 40th birthday go by without some fanfare.

These paranoid feelings were pretty much confirmed when, that Friday, she called me again to see what time I planned to be at Rich O's Saturday night.

As it turned out, the celebration my sister put together was suitably muted and not at all the circus I'd been fearing.

So the first problem with plans is pressure, and the second, in my case, is paranoia.

The paranoia I felt yesterday when a bartender at Rich O's asked me if I'd be there Friday night. He'd never bothered to ask my plans before.

That paranoia doubled when today another bartender asked me the same question. "Are you coming in Friday, Dave?"

What the fuck?

Here's another secret: I don't like surprises.

The good surprises (like the aforementioned birthday observance) mean you have to be all giddy and shit and act like you're having a heart attack and just generally be a jolly fellow while congratulating everyone on how surprised you are.

Secret number three: I'm not a jolly fellow.

And the bad surprises, well they're a different thing altogether, aren't they? Those are the surprises that nobody wants to tell you about. They don't want to tell you but they sure as shit want to be there when you do find out.

The third kind of surprise is neither good nor bad, at least on paper. Nobody knows exactly what will happen, but it's sure to be interesting and dramatic.

I do, and have, paid good money to avoid that kind of surprise. The only thing worse than having to deal with the unexpected is having to deal with it unexpectedly.

So now I'm sitting here paranoid, for no good reason whatsoever, simply because at least two people know my plans for Friday night.

Sunday, March 6, 2005
posted by dave at 12:17 PM in category daily, drink

Last night I told NotGeorge that I really needed to look up my horoscope. It didn't say what I expected:

The more you do to participate in group activities, the better. An opportunity to make personal changes should be taken advantage of. Don't let anyone cost you money.

This is what it should have said:

Last night, your sleep was interrupted by thunder. Similarly, your good mood of the afternoon will be broken by a series of evening encounters that may leave you wishing you'd just stayed in bed. Hang in there, Pisces, for the approaching calm will provide time to reflect, and you will realize that those who appreciate you far outnumber those who mistreat you.

Last night, I had to deal with three bitches before I could even have my first beer. The first, I ignored. The second, I walked away from. The third, well the third I reflected her bitchiness right back at her until she left in a huff. Never to return I hope.

Don't talk shit about my friends when (a) you know nothing about them and (b) they're not around to defend themselves.

Anyway, by the time I ordered my first beer, a Piraat, I was in a pretty shitty mood. NotGeorge showed up and kept asking me stupid questions for which I had no answers, and I pretty much told him as much. He threatened to "jack slap" me if I didn't snap out of it.

We were standing in the annex area and we stayed there until the couple in the living room area left. Neither of us had wanted to interrupt the guy's valiant efforts to get whatever he was hoping for. Don't know if he was successful but the two of them did leave together.

At about this time I had myself an NABC Community Dark.

So NotGeorge and I went to the living room area and sat with OddlyFamiliarGirl and talked for quite a while. At one point it was revealed that OddlyFamilarGirl knew my sister Neisha, a fact that I eventually confirmed by calling my sister and finding out when she'd graduated.

The coincidences piled up even higher when DooRagGirl came in and it turned out that she was OddlyFamiliarGirl's sister, and that she also knew my sister from school.

Oh yeah, there was this professor dude there too, but the circle was broken when it turned out that he didn't remember my other sister's ex-husband James, despite being at IUS at the same time.

Anyway, at one point I had a bottle of Alaskan Smoked Porter, which was quite yummy, then I had a couple glasses of Diet Coke while we all waited for the evening to come to a close.

I would have liked to have talked with DooRagGirl some more, as she was looking as beautiful as ever and I've always thought she was an interesting conversation partner, but TheProfessor pretty much monopolized her time.

Saturday, February 26, 2005
posted by dave at 6:13 PM in category daily, pictures, travel

Today I went on a little trek.

I went to this little town (and using the word town here is quite a stretch) named New Boston.

RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl had told me about this place and I was bored today so I decided to check it out.

Just driving around and exploring is one of the few things that my ex-wife and I enjoyed together, but the women in my life since my divorce have always found it too boring. As a result I haven't really done a lot of exploring lately.

This little town (there's that word again) is easy to find. Just go like you're going to Caesar's and then keep going another 167 bazillion miles until you get to this:

end of the line

That spot marks where Indiana 111 ends, and if you're sitting where I was as I took this picture, New Boston is behind you and to the left. Right behind the barking dog.

To get home I took some backroads. I know it's actually pretty hard to get lost, but I gave it a hell of a try. I knew I'd eventually hit Hwy 11 or 131 so I basically just kept pointing my truck North as much as the winding roads would allow.

I had fun.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005
posted by dave at 12:25 PM in category daily

Ran across this picture today in one of the 'blogs I read.

cactus

I know a girl that moved to Arizona. This may explain why. Even the cacti are hung.

Monday, February 21, 2005
posted by dave at 7:25 PM in category daily

I walked into Rich O's this evening after work and, sitting in the red room, was a brunette typing away at a laptop computer.

That was very weird.

Sunday, February 20, 2005
posted by dave at 10:06 PM in category daily, drink, family, pictures

Okay, so this will be quick because I don't really feel like writing anything right now. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow and add some stuff. Or maybe not.

Friday I had one of those fucking nice and pleasant evenings at Rich O's. Boring boring boring. I'm pretty sure I had a Corsendonk Christmas Ale and a couple pints of Guinness.

On Saturday my sister Dina had arranged for several family and friends to meet up at Rich O's to help usher me into my forties. It was supposed to be a surprise but I ruined it by showing up early, plus I'd already had my suspicions when Dina called me a week before to ask what my Saturday night plans were. I ended up leaving and then coming back in so I could let them surprise me.

surprise

From left to right: Dina, my old friend Eric, Dina's fiancé Kenny, Eric's wife Terri, my sister Neisha, and her husband Chris.

Making later appearances were Dan "Holy Shit" Kruer and his lovely wife Kris. CoffeeDude also came in but I don't think Dina had a hand in that.

My first beer was a Piraat, back on tap after a long absence. After Dan and Kris had arrived, and Eric left the kiddie table, I moved over there and spent a while talking with Terri about books and the intriguing fact that she has single sisters.

CoffeeDude had been recommending a Goose Island Honkers Ale so I had one of those.

Goose Island Honkers Ale

(draft) A great beer for starting out an evening, yet interesting enough to make an entire session out of it. Smooth and malty. Tastes like it should have a higher ABV.

Once Terri had relinquished the throne I moved there and had a Guinness in honor of LaptopGirl, who was of course still absent physically but was nevertheless present in my thoughts.

Also in my thoughts were TrainGirl, gone for months now, and MisundersoodGirl and RealTrainGirl. MisunderstoodGirl is not working there anymore so I fear that I won't see either her or RealTrainGirl very often. Oh yeah, NotGeorge was supposed to be there but was a no-show. He'll be pretty bummed when I tell him that Dina was there.

For my final ceremonial beer of the night I had an Alaskan Smoked Porter and, once everyone else had gone home, I found myself sitting nearly alone with CoffeeDude as the big and little hands met at the top of the clock behind the bar.

So I began this new year in my life as I'd spent most of the previous one - sitting at Rich O's talking with a good friend and enjoying a good beer.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
posted by dave at 11:46 AM in category daily

The other day (Saturday) I was talking with my cousin Jeff. He told me that he'd just watched some movie that I never heard of, and that some girl I never heard of was in it.

So the girl he was talking about was the girl in Joe Dirt.

This got me thinking that I hadn't watched that movie in several years, so I decided to find it and watch it. I know I own it on at least VHS, and probably on DVD, but I couldn't find my copy. Oh, well, right?

Just about when I gave up looking for my copy, Comedy Central started an airing of, you guessed it, Joe Dirt.

So I watched it, then I went to Rich O's where, to my great surprise, sitting right there at the kiddie table was, you guessed it, Joe Fucking Dirt!

Mullet and all.

Where's Rod Serling when you need him?

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
posted by dave at 7:14 PM in category daily

(This entry is in no way related to the previous one. Seriously.)

I decided today that I needed to get myself an enemy.

My life has been sorely lacking in enemies for as long as I can remember. Sure, I've had my little spats and my occasional tiffs, but true enemies have been very few and very far apart.

I'm not talking about my shit-list here, wherein people are added and subtracted, elevated and demoted, depending on my mood and my current level of pissedoffedness. I'm talking about actual tried and true enemies. People that have managed to prove to me that they're beyond mere dislike, beyond the point where I can simply ignore them. These are the people that I actually wish would drop from the face of the Earth. And land on a bunch of shit-covered spikes.

The sooner the better.

Today, I picked myself an enemy. It really wasn't that difficult of a choice. This asshole has been nothing but a thorn in my side since the day I met him. This asshole has such a high opinion of himself that it makes everyone around him sick just talking to him. This asshole has had so many things in life just handed to him that he's come to believe that he has a God-given right to everything he wants. And to everything anyone else wants. It's all his.

This asshole thinks he won, but he didn't win shit. He twisted, he corrupted, he rewrote reality into something wherein he gets to be the best.

Someday his facade will be torn away, and he will be revealed as the small-minded little-dicked waste of flesh that he really is.

On that day I will laugh my ass off. I hope I'm there to see it.

posted by dave at 6:51 PM in category daily

I suppose you'll read this and the gist of my words will somehow make through that thick layer of fat and dead cells you have in place of a brain, and you'll think, "Damn, I'm sure glad that's not directed at me!"

Well guess what, asshole, it is directed squarely at you.

I ask for one fucking thing in the entire time I've known you - hell, maybe one thing in your entire miserable life, and what do you do?

You use it to further your own fucked up drug-induced self-propagandizing agenda.

You use it as ammumnition in your ongoing battle to annoy and belittle and ostracize every person you meet. You take my request and twist it around and use it to make me look like the bad guy. Like I'm the one with the problem.

I decided a while ago that if you fucked this up for me I'd never speak to you again. Now you've managed to fuck it up royally, and I find myself unable to avoid you. Some things are unfortunately more important than that which you've corrupted, and I'll continue to honor those obligations.

But know this, you incredibly immature fuckwad of a human being: You will not be trusted by me again. Not with anything.

I can hold a grudge a looooooooong time. Just watch. Asshole.

Sunday, February 13, 2005
posted by dave at 9:58 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

Saint Fucking Valentine's Day is tomorrow.

I think that some people, usually the people with vaginas, must have a kind of secondary internal clock - sort of like circadian rhythm but an annual one - that kicks in each February.

An alarm goes off around February 10th and these people start scrambling like mad to make sure they're not alone on the 14th.

I have a different kind of goal for Valentine's Day. The goal of not doing anything so stupid I'll regret it for a very long time.

Twenty years ago tomorrow I proposed to my ex-wife. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but that one action, fueled in part by the timing of the holiday, proved to be disastrous.

Last night I did my best to enjoy myself despite feeling like a complete asshole. I managed to do okay. I had a CorsenDonk Christmas Ale while talking with CoffeeDude, and after a while NotGeorge came in and I had a Robert The Bruce and a Tunnel Vision.

The Valentine Effect was very evident last night. Rich O's was the site of a nearly constant stream of attractive single women, all looking for whatever it is they're looking for when they get desperate. NotGeorge is a good person to share nights like last night with - his radar for pretty girls is highly accurate and useful.

So I ended up having a good, but not great, night at Rich O's. The lack of sleep begun the night before, combined with the necessity of again having to run the emotional gauntlet that is MixedSignalGirl, had put me in an irritated mood. Then the parade of lovelies and the good conversations picked me back up to normal.

posted by dave at 12:32 AM in category daily

Hey,

The restraint I displayed tonight surprised even me.

Some day I hope you'll appreciate the effort I put forth.

It was for your own good, after all.

Friday, February 11, 2005
posted by dave at 6:36 PM in category daily, work

Yesterday for work we went to the zoo.

It was the first time I'd been there in a while. I guess I've become a little uneasy about the whole idea of keeping all these animals on display for our amusement.

I know, I know, we also get to study them, learn to appreciate them, and in many cases, help to save them from extinction.

Extinction that we're causing.

It's the apes that make me the saddest. Their faces are capable of showing all these emotions, and the only emotion to see at the zoo is sadness. Sadness at being trapped. Sadness at being stared at, pointed at. Even the ones born and raised in captivity are sad - they just don't know why because they don't know anything different.

At least on a conscious level - or whatever passes for a conscious level in apes - they don't know what they're missing but they know they're missing something.

I don't know, I guess I think that by taking these animals from where they belong, we're taking a lot more than just their freedom. We get to look at them, and study them, but we're only seeing their physical being. The rest of them, their wildness, their spirit, their soul if you will, is long gone.

If it ever had a chance to exist at all.

Now, after writing this, I feel like a hypocrite because I've got three cats that never get to leave the house.

It's for their own good, I keep telling myself.

posted by dave at 2:02 PM in category daily

Different for me, anyway.

All day yesterday I was working, in my head, on this entry about 'blogging and how it's not only about opening up, it can also be about showing off.

Then last night I got this other idea to write about the creative implications of living near natural wonders like Mt. Rainier or The Grand Canyon.

Well, these two ideas ended up cancelling each other out in my head, so I didn't write a damn thing yesterday.

Monday, February 7, 2005
posted by dave at 12:33 PM in category daily, drink

I didn't plan to do anything last night except just have the game on in the basement while I shot some pool.

That way I could say I'd watched the stupid thing without being a complete liar.

At one point, however, I went to the store to gas up my truck (so I wouldn't have to do it this morning) and when I left the gas station I just reflexively headed to Rich O's.

Actually Rich O's was closed, it being Sunday and all, but its sister-business Sportstime Pizza was open so I went there.

Football really pisses me off. It preempts my regularly scheduled programming. It always runs late. It's boring.

And it makes otherwise normal people into obnoxious drunken idiots.

I ended up sitting at Sportstime with NotGeorge while I had a Gulden Draak and a Tunnel Vision. Every time somebody on TV would do something people would start jumping up and high-fiving (fiveing?) each other like they were the ones that had just done whatever it was.

Only NotGeorge, red-blooded male that he is, was able to pull his attention away from the TV long enough to pay proper homage to SmolderingHotGirl who was sitting a few tables away. She was with people we were assuming were her parents and her daughter, but now I realize that it could have been her parents and her sister, in which case NotGeorge and I might both be going to hell.

I bet it's all Bud and Miller there.

Sunday, February 6, 2005
posted by dave at 1:28 AM in category daily, drink

I guess the theme of tonight - at least the theme of the conversations we had tonight - was what the fuck does/did she see in him?

Not very original, I know. This question has been pondered since the dawn of time, and will continue to be pondered at least until the Sun expands 93,000,000 miles and turns our little planet into charcoal.

Original or not, there it was. The Big Question.

What the fuck does ExtremelyHotGirl see in ShavedHeadFatFucker? What the fuck does KindaCuteGirl see in ClearlyGayGuy?
What the fuck did you-know-who see in FullOfHimselfDude, or in NaiveAndCluelessGuy?

These questions will probably never be answered.

Tonight was a fairly typical night at Rich O's, highlighted only by a little paranoia on my part that proved to be unfounded.

To drink, I had a Rogue Smoke, a Delirium Tremens, and an NABC Tunnel Vision. Nothing new for me, thanks anyway. All are excellent beers. The Tremens, in particular, is just fantastic.

The first half of the night I spent talking with MusicalHippyDude and the guy who I think is the singer in their band. The second half of the night I spent talking with one of LaptopGirl's ex-boyfriends. The cool one, for those keeping score at home.

ElPresidente is turning 40 this Monday. This revelation only served to remind me of my own impending birthday, just two weeks away. I'm not depressed about this milestone at all, but I am irritated by it. There was a lot of stuff that was supposed to have happened by now that, I fear, will never happen as I slide down the other side of this hill I'm about to crest.

I have more to say, but I'm going to hold off. It's this new "restraint" thing I've been working on.

(PS, 020805: I fucking hate typos. I just corrected one in this entry that had sat for nearly three days. If you hate typos as much as I do, please point them out to me so I can correct them as soon as possible.)

Wednesday, February 2, 2005
posted by dave at 10:59 PM in category daily

The cats have been following me around the house all night.

I've been trying to figure out what they want.

Litterbox Clean: Check.

Food and Fresh Water: Check.

All Inside Doors Open: Check.

That's about all I can think of.

As I type this, Happy is laying on the floor right behind my chair, Buddy is on the bookshelf, and Nugget has stationed himself at the door to my office. All three are watching me type, like they're waiting for something.

Or plotting something.

I suppose they could be sensing my mood, the way Happy did, years ago, when I learned of my grandmother's death and he jumped into my lap before I could even hang the phone up, but neither of my other cats have ever behaved this way before, so I don't know what's going on.

It's actually creeping me out a little. Maybe we're going to have an earthquake or something. Maybe I'm about to drop dead.

Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Sunday, January 30, 2005
posted by dave at 10:23 AM in category daily, drink

Started out the night by journeying to Hooter's in Jeffersonville for some Newcastles. More and more I'm finding it to be a real shame that my regular bar, one of the best beer bars anywhere, pulled this fine beer from its draft rotation two years ago in favor of a much blander substitute that just happens to be more profitable for them. Per glass, anyway.

It's just sad, really.

But I digress.

There was this unbearably annoying guy working the kitchen at Hooter's. I don't know if he was some kind of manager or what. Whatever his official title, his job last night, as he saw it anyway, was to ring this loudass bell and scream at the top of his lungs, "WE'VE GOT FOOD AT THE WINDOW, LADIES!!! AMANDA! TIFFANY! JESSICA! AMBER!"

This happened approximately every 2.5 seconds from the time I walked in until...

At one point this dipshit decided that he wasn't getting the respect he deserved, so, instead of ringing his fucking bell, be took an empty tray and slapped it against the bar with great force. "LADIES, WE'VE GOT FOOD AT THE WINDOW!!! JULIE! BRIDGETTE! AMY! CARRIE!"

It's been estimated by scientists that when Mount Mazama exploded about 7,000 years ago, forming what is now Crater Lake in Oregon, it was the loudest noise ever heard by humans.

This guy slapping his fucking tray on the counter is probably in second place. A close second. It sounded like someone had fired off a cannon into an ammo dump in my head.

Half the place jumped, the other half had mild heart attacks. One of the former, a customer sitting about five feet from this jerk, rose to his feet and quite calmly said, "If you ever do that again, you're going to have that tray shoved up your ass, then we'll see how loud you can really be."

So now this guy is my fucking hero. And that of a lot of others I suspect, because loudass guy was much quieter after that.

Once that little drama was over I headed to Rich O's and sat at the bar talking with MusicalHippyDude while I enjoyed a Rogue Smoke Ale.

Rich O's was about two-thirds crowded. There were a bunch of strangers in the living room, and a bunch of PBDs at the island. Nobody I knew very well.

My next beer was an Orval, sort of recommended by a friend the other night.

Orval

(bottle) Huge head, bordering on the ridiculous. Taste, as I expected, was that of a fairly mild Belgian. A little less sweet and a little more hoppy than I'd generally prefer, but a very good beer anyway.

Bubbles came in and she and MusicalHippyDude went over to the island to talk with the PBDs. I ended up talking with some guy that I'm sure has a name, but I could not (can not) remember it, and I had myself an NABC Haggisdaddy Stout.

NABC Haggisdaddy Stout

(draft) First time drinking the non-bourbonized version of this stout. I got an almost overpowering sense of chocolate - both in the aroma and the flavor. Pretty good, but would probably be too much for me to wrap an evening around. I was pleased to detect no coffee or licorice at all.

After talking with MisunderstoodGirl for a few minutes I left Rich O's and listened to some karaoke with my cousin Mike for a while before heading home.

Friday, January 28, 2005
posted by dave at 2:47 PM in category daily

So the other day I'm talking with this girl and she tells me that she had endured a mutual acquaintance for hours that day. These two had met once, when we ran into him at a bar. This apparently gave my friend all the opening he (felt he) needed. He stopped by her work and spent a couple of hours doing whatever it his he does when he's trying to be "on."

One of the more interesting things that she told me about her ordeal was he had asked her out on a date.

On a date!

Now, my friend knows that this girl and I are not a couple, but he also knows that there is something going on. Exactly what - that's not the point. The point is that he knows I'm interested in her and still decided to ask her out.

She declined the invitation, to my great relief.

Once I got home I found myself calling the guy about it. "You asked her out?" I asked him. "What planet are you from where you're allowed to do that? You know I'm interested, but what, you don't care? You've known me for decades and you think I won't mind something like this?"

I got several semi-apologies and several excuses. My favorite excuse was this one:

I was actually just testing her out for you. Just to see what she'd say.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sunday, January 23, 2005
posted by dave at 1:01 AM in category daily, drink, entertainment, pictures

A little bit different tonight.

Rich O's was my second stop. My first stop will remain private.

Anyway, at Rich O's I had an NABC Tunnel Vision, a Hitachino ricey beer (can't remember the name, but I find it oddly appealing) and finally a Gulden Draak.

Rich O's was moderately crowded but I was able to grab a seat at the bar before my second beer.

One of my friends is in a band, and they were playing a gig at this dive down by the river so I went there. MisunderstoodGirl and OddlyPrettyGirl came in a little after I did and joined me.

charm school dropout

One of my friends being all dainty and ladylike and shit.

OTTO

My friend Tim rockin' away.

While there, I tried my very first Blue Moon Belgian Ale. I actually liked it a lot, but my taste buds were a little overworked from my earlier beers so I'll hold off on doing an official review until another day.

I'm home fairly early because the place where I've been going to listen to karaoke was mysteriously closed.

Saturday, January 22, 2005
posted by dave at 11:56 AM in category daily, drink

Friday night Bob and I spent an hour or so at the hotel bar doing some final reminiscing before he returns to Arizona. I had a couple of the BBC porters and Bob drank MGD for some reason.

I want to state again, for the record, that it was very cool to see my old friend again. We'd kind of drifted apart a little during his last days in Omaha, and of course there'd been no contact for 14 years after that, but Bob was a big part of what may very well turn out to have been the best years of my life, and that little blast from the past that seeing him brought was very refreshing.

After I left the hotel, and took care of a little drama that's been developing nearer to home, I went to Rich O's and had myself an Upland Winter Warmer. Rich O's was only about half full at that late hour. I waved at GlassesGirl and sat on the throne, then talked with GrammarLady and her husband for a while.

GrammarLady told me that she'd never seen me looking so worn down and with such dark circles under my eyes. Gee thanks, GrammarLady. Just the pick-me-up I wanted.

Once my companions left I spent a few fruitless minutes trying to make eye contact with RealTrainGirl or MisunderstoodGirl, but they were, shall we say, busy.

Stopped at the karaoke bar on the way home. I'm finding it to be a nice way to end out an evening.

Friday, January 21, 2005
posted by dave at 11:06 AM in category daily, drink
Please come see me. I need to talk to you.

That's what the text message said. No contact from MixedSignalGirl for a week and now this. A little ominous if you ask me.

So I left the tournament site (I was a little bored anyway) and drove back to Indiana where, of course, she was nowhere to be found. Two attempted phone calls only got me a recording saying that her voicemail was full. So I sent a text message and went to Rich O's.

I walked in and immediately turned around and walked back to my truck. The crowd was unbearable, and since the tournament site has been so crowded I really felt the need for some space around me.

Once I got back to my truck, though, I realized what a baby I was being so I went back in and ordered a Delirium Tremens. The strangers sitting at the island left and I grabbed a perch.

I spent a good part of the night sitting there checking out the various cute brunettes in glasses - there must be a convention in town somewhere, and after a while CoffeeDude showed up and joined me and some dude I don't know.

I had an Upland Winter Warmer and asked the bartender to put an Alaskan Smoked Porter on ice for me.

Yawn. After a while we grabbed seats in the living room area and I got to talking with some guy about computer storage. Very exciting stuff.

Once I had finished my porter (yummy) I tried MixedSignalGirl one more time (still full voicemail) and came home.

Thursday was sort of the last night of my vacation. Tonight it reverts to just a regular weekend. Man it will suck to have to put a suit on again.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005
posted by dave at 11:42 AM in category daily, drink

Sunday night, still at The Executive West for the tournament, I went to the hotel bar with my friend Bob and his friend Mike. I had a couple BBC Porters. Last year I had this (it's the only decent beer the hotel bar carries) and didn't care for it too much, but this year it is excellent. I don't know if it's because my tastes have changed or because last year it was simply a bad keg.

Anyway, Bob and I caught up with each other a little and talked about the olden days in Nebraska. It was all very nice and pleasant.

Monday night I had a beer with my friend Fred and then sat around the bar having a couple more porters while I did some people-watching. It was also very nice and pleasant.

Life's too nice and pleasant lately.

I need some drama dammit.

Thursday, January 13, 2005
posted by dave at 12:15 AM in category daily, drink

Off tomorrow (yay!) so I went to Rich O's and celebrated virtual Friday.

Well, maybe celebrated is the wrong word. Perhaps observed would be better.

Rich O's was fairly empty and I sat at the island by myself all night. A few of the professional beer drinkers were scattered around, and three semi-cute girls were sitting in the red room, but that's it. Nobody I cared to talk to was present.

Determined to try new beers, and only new beers, tonight, my first selection was a Ridgeway Santa's Butt Porter. Here's what I said about it at ratebeer.com:

(draft) Probably the blandest selection that Rich O's Saturnalia has to offer. A bit of a chocolate smell and taste that's followed up by a very watery finish. Decent but not memorable at all.

Next I had a Hitachino Nest Red Rice Ale.

(draft) Tastes like a pilsner until you swallow, that's when the funkiness takes over. I guess the funkiness was due to the sake yeasts used on the rice. My enjoyment of this beer grew with each sip, but by the time the glass was gone I still didn't like it enough to order another pint.

Finally, I had a XX Bitter De Ranke, a beer with a scary (to me) name.

(draft) The hop aroma was very evident and I was surprised to find such a tame flavor behind it. This is a beer I could drink all night, but I wouldn't want to because it's pretty boring.

So I had a very pleasant and relaxing night, disturbed only by VigilanteGirl's continuing perkiness. My castle walls have been completely rebuilt so she's wasting her time trying to get in. My loss, really.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
posted by dave at 12:51 PM in category daily

Just a quick note to say that my vacation starts tomorrow and I'm starting to get pretty pumped about it.

It's not so much the time off work, though that's certainly a big deal.

What I look forward to most is the opportunity to be around pool players again. To be around hundreds of other people that understand, and share, my obsession with poking balls around with a stick.

I'll try to keep up with my messages, and I'll try to even post a new entry every now and then, but I'll make no promises. Especially Friday through Monday, when the Banks tournament is going on, I'll be spending almost all of my non-sleep time at the tournament site.

Those of you who just need to read something here every day should head on over to my pool 'blog as I'll be updating that more regularly with tournament updates, observations, and such.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
posted by dave at 9:24 AM in category daily

I went to the Gas-N-Stuff this morning, as I do every work morning, and while I'm paying for my soft drink this dingbat (a past, and so far only, Dumbass of the Day recipient in this 'blog) asks me, "Are you in a good mood today?"

I frowned and answered that I was, and she countered with, "Well you sure don't look like it?"

"Well, maybe I was in a good mood before you asked me that stupid question. At any rate, my mood is actually none of your business."

"Man, maybe you should go home and get up on the other side of the bed."

"Maybe you should go fuck yourself."

Having my mental state questioned by a perfect stranger first thing in the morning, while annoying enough in itself, reveals a bigger problem. It seems that VigilanteGirl has been making my mood a topic of conversation at work.

I may need to give her a spanking or something. That would certainly cheer me up.

posted by dave at 1:20 AM in category daily

After work today I went and ordered myself a pizza and had an NABC Tunnel Vision - which is back after a brief absence.

I was sitting and talking with CuteAsFuckGirl about her growing up in Washington County when, lo and behold, UnfortunatelyNamedGirl came in and joined us.

Now neither of these girls has the slightest interest in me. I know it, and they know it.

So why, I ask, did they both begin competing for my attention?

I took a picture of CuteAsFuckGirl so I could send it to her phone, and UnfortunatelyNamedGirl told me she'd lost my number. Losing it would have been a little hard because she never had it in the first place - she was just trying to establish that she'd seen me first.

I ended up taking a picture for UnfortunatelyNamedGirl as well, and shortly after that CuteAsFuckGirl just happened to find some pictures in her purse she wanted to show me so she had me move over next to her.

Then UnfortunatelyNamedGirl dug my sister's name out of her memory and further established her deep relationship with me by asking me how Dina was doing.

Then CuteAsFuckGirl countered by talking about how where she grew up was near where my other sister lives.

At about this point all of the dirty looks passing back and forth between these girls was really starting to freak me out a little.

Two psychos in the same evening is a stretch even for me.

Sunday, January 9, 2005
posted by dave at 2:40 AM in category daily

Spent the first part of tonight listening to MixedSignalGirl spew forth some of the most screwed up logic I've ever heard.

As near as I can figure it, and my translation skills are a little rusty, I've been the victim of preemptive pout.

Also fired was a preemptive guilt trip bomb but that had no effect on me as my immunity for such things remains strong.

I guess she and I have things back to normal though. Whatever that means.

posted by dave at 1:04 AM in category daily, drink, family, pictures

Actually more of a Saturday beer report as Friday I stuck to Diet Coke, but let's not get too picky, okay?

Friday night I arrived late, mainly to get some food for my flu-ravaged body. The place was incredibly crowded.

pandemonium

Even after 10:00 it was mostly standing room only.

At one point, however, I did grab a quick seat on the loveseat and I and some people I didn't know got to comparing cell phones.

blondie

I took this picture of the cute blonde sitting on the sofa and sent it to her phone eventually. My first attempt went to some random number and some guy called me back and asked "Who's the blonde? She's hot!"

coffeedude and musicalhippydude

This picture was not from Friday night - it was just in my phone from the week before or something. These are a couple of my Rich O's friends.

oddlyprettygirl

OddlyPrettyGirl paused long enough to smile for the camera.

After I'd left Rich O's and eaten some food I felt a lot better so I went to where my Uncle Wayne does karaoke.

wayne and carol

This is my Uncle Wayne and my Aunt Carol and some Hispanic guy that I don't know.

On Saturday I felt pretty much back to normal so I went to Rich O's and had some half-pints of several beers.

Some other stuff happened but I'm keeping it to myself.

Thursday, January 6, 2005
posted by dave at 5:15 PM in category daily

Well I don't have mono. I went to the doctor this morning and I just have a regular flu.

This one features a fever that's lasted longer, and been higher, than anything I've been afflicted with in the past decade. Not fun. I can put up with a lot, but a high temperature is one thing that really knocks me out. It's amazing what a difference a few degrees can make.

If my temp goes back down to normal I will force myself to get to work tomorrow. It's been a pretty bad time for me to be away - as evidenced by the fact that I've had 2,356 phone calls over the last two days, while a normal two-day period would yield a total of less then a thousand.

Being sick just sucks.

posted by dave at 1:38 AM in category daily

Went to the store tonight and, as I pulled into the lot, I saw her car.

So I avoided the situation and went to a different store.

I'm still a little irritated over the mixed signals, plus I might have mono now and I really didn't want to have that discussion with her.

I stayed home from work Wednesday with a fever. It eased up somewhat tonight (that's when I went to the store) but last time I checked I was back to 101 so I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow. I just saw the guy Tuesday about my wrist, and I guess I could have caught something from someone in the waiting area.

Two doctor visits, for two different problems, in a three-day period.

I'm falling apart at the seams here.

Sunday, January 2, 2005
posted by dave at 7:04 PM in category daily, drink

Just a quick entry about Saturday night.

Rich O's was closed again, so I ventured to Jeffersonville in search of some good beer. They almost always have Newcastle on tap at Hooters.

I'd been hoping to meet up with my cousin Jeff (one of my resolutions is to see more of people from my childhood) but alas, he was trying to load up on as much college football as possible in preparation for the upcoming dry season.

While I sat and drank my Newcastles (I remembered to ask for an unfrosted glass), I had ample opportunity to check out the local talent. I came to the following three conclusions:

I am an old fart fast on his way to becoming a dirty old man.
Somebody in the area is making a very good living supplying breast implants to girls that undoubtedly looked a lot better without them.
Even though it's Hooters policy that their waitresses wear those skimpy outfits, some girls really should at least lose the baby fat before dressing up like that.

Each of these conclusions mangaged to get me in an irritated mood so I decided against my earlier plan to finally try a Blue Moon ale and left at around 10:00.

While I was contemplating my irritation I got a call from MixedSignalGirl who, as usual, promptly decided to attribute my irritation to her own actions of the night before.

I let her have her little fantasy.

Saturday, January 1, 2005
posted by dave at 11:41 AM in category daily

plan
n.
1. A proposed course of action or sequence of events.

I guess there's a reason we usually refer to our plans for the evening instead of something more concrete like agenda or schedule.

We do this because while we may know what we'd like or expect to do, we really don't know what's actually going to happen.

Last night, as I'd planned, I went to the home of the FirstCouple for their annual New Year's party.

I'm not really sure why I chose that venue instead of the party a friend of my sister was having. I just sort of decided sometime during the day which one I'd attend.

I drank most of a bottle of Delirium Noel while I mingled with the two dozen or so people in attendance. It was a nice time, but I still don't feel like I really know any of those people, so I didn't feel too bad when I left at around 10:00.

The second half of the night didn't exactly go as I'd planned, but I was pleasantly surprised and I enjoyed myself. It turned out to be exactly what I needed to close out 2004 and say hello to 2005.

Now I get to see what the aftermath is. The nice thing is that I'm invincible, at least for a while.

Thursday, December 30, 2004
posted by dave at 1:17 AM in category daily, drink

Actually not much to say about tonight's Rich O's trip. I had a Delirium Noel and a Fantome Saison. I've had both before and liked them both.

Rich O's was moderately crowded, though not as much so as I was expecting. I was able to grab a seat on the sofa right away where I talked with a few people I don't know.

After a while CoffeeDude and ElPresidente joined me and we bullshitted for an hour or so.

Oh yeah, DooRagGirl came in at one point. CoffeeDude seems to know her better than I do. She was looking very pretty, but I didn't talk to her as CoffeeDude was pretty much monopolizing her time.

I left fairly early so I could catch VigilanteGirl before she left work.

Monday, December 27, 2004
posted by dave at 11:09 PM in category daily, drink

Today, Rich O's was finally open again, so I stopped by after work and sampled a Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Christmas Porter. Here's my ratebeer.com review:

(draft) Of all the beers at Rich O's, this one is perhaps the one that's been recommended to me most often. Frankly, I don't understand all the hype. It is a good beer, but not a great one. I think my main problem was the gritty feeling I got in my mouth while drinking it. It almost seemed like there was something that hadn't quite dissolved all the way. By the end of the glass it was better. Other than the gritty mouthfeel, this beer smelled and looked fantastic, and it had a really good flavor - one that wasn't nearly as sweet as I was expecting. A very drinkable beer, but any place that has this probably has something better as well.

While at the bar, I spent a little time talking with the owner about 'blogging, and I got an idea for a post in my head. The title for the post would be If you don't like it, stop reading it and it would contain an awful lot of venting.

We also talked about something that's been on my mind for a while - the importing of old (in my case paper) journals into 'blog form. Roger's concern seemed mainly about how to deal with grammar and euphuism, while my main concern would be whether to import the things at all.

Anyway, I guess that's it. I had a nice end to a very boring day at work.

Sunday, December 26, 2004
posted by dave at 6:58 PM in category daily, ramblings

I think VigilanteGirl is psychic or something.

I hadn't got two feet inside the door before she was all "What's wrong with you? You're such a grouch."

I never thought of myself as a person that wears their mood on their sleeve. I used to be told that my eyes would change color depending on my current state of anger, arousal, boredom, or whatever, but I was nowhere near close enough for anyone to tell me what color my eyes were.

So she must be psychic, because she was absolutely right.

I'm in a crappy mood.

There's no particular reason. I guess the bullshit's just been piling up, sort of like the snow, and it doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon, sort of like the snow.

I can feel that I'm closing myself off again, and I don't particularly like it, but I do understand it. I reach out and find nothing, so I stop reaching out. The next logical step is to prevent people from reaching out to me, so I start rebuilding the castle walls.

And if that doesn't work maybe I'll put in a sniper tower or something.

Or maybe I just need a real vacation where I'm not stuck at home listening to the snow pulling my gutters loose.

Saturday, December 25, 2004
posted by dave at 5:53 PM in category daily, family

The weather did its best to wreak havoc on my family's holday plans, but only suceeded in shuffling things around.

Instead of my sisters and I meeting and Dina's house, we went to Neisha's and trudged through their unplowed driveway.

Instead of having my grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins to my house for Christmas Eve, we all ended up at my grandmothers house. The official reasoning for that was to make it so my grandmother wouldn't have to go out in the cold, but I think the unofficial reason was that Christmas Eve has been at my grandmother's house for the last million years - except for last year when it was at my house - and it just somehow feels right to be at her house on that night.

Afterwards, my cousin Mike and I played pool until nearly 4:00 AM, and I'm feeling pretty sluggish from my halfassed attempt to get a decent amount of sleep.

Right now I'm sitting here pretty bored. I want to go out and do something tonight, but I'm not sure what. Rich O's is closed (for the holiday, not because of the street conditions). VigilanteGirl is working. Maybe I'll make the trek to Jeffersonville in search of Newcastle at Hooters.

Oh yeah. Mike and I split a bottle of Delirium Noel last night. A very good beer for such a cold night. After that I had my last bottle of Mad Bitch and Mike tempted fate by drinking some canned Guinness that'd been in my fridge for either months or years.

Thursday, December 23, 2004
posted by dave at 10:30 PM in category daily, pictures, weather

It's supposed to get fucking cold tonight. Of course that's not exactly what the weatherguy said, but I'm sure that's what he was thinking.

Because of the fucking cold and the even more fucking cold (fuckinger?) forecast for tomorrow night, I've made a little bed/house/fort for this stray cat that lives under my deck.

Spooky Kitty

She's just the sweetest thing, but I cannot allow her into the house as I'm afraid that she'll get my cats sick.

Normally I don't worry too much about her, but it's supposed to be so fucking cold for the next two nights that I just had to do something.

I took my cat carrier, stuffed a pillow into it, wrapped it in a beach towel, and put it in my garage. My back garage door I propped open about six inches so Spook (the cat) could enter and leave the garage as she saw fit.

So now Spook is laying in her new little shelter, just purring like crazy when I went to check on her. She's just such a good cat. I wish I could find a home for her.

wow
posted by dave at 10:23 PM in category daily

(This entry brought to you by Delirium Tremens.)

It's been said, mostly by me in this 'blog, that I cannot take a hint.

Or, to be more specific I guess, I do not recognize hints, and when I (rarely) do, I do not take whatever action the hint is urging me toward.

Tonight I recognized a hint. Hell, astronauts in the space station, were they to have trained their spy scopes on Southern Indiana tonight, would have recognized the damn hint.

Well I saw it, and I recognized it. I just thought it was a really bad idea, so I pretended I didn't see it.

I pretended I was incredibly, absurdly dense.

And you know, it really wasn't that tough. I had a really good role model to look to for inspiration. And for justification I suppose.

posted by dave at 7:46 PM in category daily, family, pictures

Well we all ended up driving to my completely snowed-in sister's house for gift exchanges.

oops

Down the road from my house there's this overturned snowplow. Not the best omen.

oops

This is my sister Neisha's road. Actually this is the good part of the road. What doesn't really show up in the picture is that the "plowed" part of the road is still over a foot deep.

An added bonus in this picture is a part of my finger.

posted by dave at 12:03 PM in category daily, pictures, weather

They say Floyd County got 14" of snow. It's really hard to tell with all of the blowing and drifting, but I'd guess that my house got closer to 20".

Just thought I'd put up some pics of what I'm trying to deal with here.

122304snow

This is as far as I got trying to shovel my driveway out from under the multiple layers of snow and ice. Usually one of my neighbors will bring a plow and clear my driveway for me. I'm still hopeful that they'll do it again.

122304snow

I did, however, manage to shovel a path down my walkway. Because of the drifting the snow here was up to 36" deep.

122304snow

The prints I left this morning going to the detached garage to get my snow shovel and look at my useless snowblade mower attachment.

122304snow

My deck always seems to be a magnet for snow.

122304snow

The snow piled up against my basement door - at the North end of the house.

Multiple Christmas activities are being either cancelled or postponed. One that's still on is that I'm supposed to have a lot of people over tomorrow night. If I don't get that driveway cleared visitors should have a real adventure.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
posted by dave at 8:39 PM in category daily, drink, weather

We got about 5" of snow today. Now there's sleet and freezing rain. Supposed to be another 6-10" of snow later tonight.

Pretty damn cool.

We had a brief lull at around 5:00 so I (of course) went to Rich O's and had a beer. Didn't really feel like experimenting so I just had a Great Lakes Christmas Ale.

I guess that's it.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
posted by dave at 10:42 PM in category daily, drink

So Rich O's is having this pagan/christmas beer festival yet, because of the unfortunate holiday timimg, they're closed for the next two weekends. I'm a little afraid that I won't get a chance to sample the 35(!) beers scheduled to be on tap over the next couple of weeks.

Accordingly, I went back after work today to cross another beer off my list.

What I had was a St Feuillien Cuvee de Noel - I'd provide a link but their page seems to be broken.

Here's what I thought:

(draft) One of those beers that takes a long time to pour. Once in a glass, the head faded fairly quickly. I detected a strong oak smell until the head had gone, then lots of malt and alcohol with some fruit. The alcohol-bitter aftertaste reminded me strongly of bourbon. I liked this, but I'd recommend it to close out a session instead of beginning one.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here semi-depressed about the holidays. I've never been one of those people, and I'm pretty sure I won't really become one. I'm just a little more aware this year of things that might have been, and things that used to be, and things that almost were, than I've been in recent years.

I do know what I want for Christmas though. About two feet of snow between now and tomorrow morning so I can skip work.

I don't know if I've been good enough to deserve that present though.

posted by dave at 5:07 PM in category daily

False alarm.

That's good, right?

Of course it is.

posted by dave at 12:21 AM in category daily, drink

Stopped by Rich O's after The Day Of Hell at work. Had a Corsendonk Christmas Ale while talking with DooRagGirl's ex-husband, who I suppose needs a new nickname. One that's not so much of a downer.

(draft) Smelled better than it tasted, but it smelled fantastic. Nice and malty with some spice aroma that I couldn't identify. Taste was very similar to the Great Lakes Christmas Ale - if you like that, you'll like this.

With a name like Corsendonk, it has to be good, right?

VigilanteGirl didn't make it to the doctor today. She's supposed to go tomorrow. I find myself concerned, but I am in a pessimistic phase.

My nap, which was supposed to be one hour, turned into a four hour affair, so now it's after midnight and I'm not even close to tired. I should probably try to sleep anyway as I don't expect tomorrow (today!) to be any better at work.

Sunday, December 19, 2004
posted by dave at 11:06 AM in category daily, weather

Coming home from work this morning was sort of interesting.

We've had a little snow, maybe a half-inch, and the idiots are out in full force.

After successfully avoiding the SUVIdiots who think slick roads are irrelevant to them, and the PussIdiots who reduce their speed to a single-digit number at sight of the first flake, I made it to the bottom of the big hill on my road.

My house sits atop that hill, and between me and my house this morning were an estimated 114 cars and trucks strewn about in varying states of crashedness.

So I turned around and went back to the only alternate route available to me - through Edwardsville.

When I got to within a quarter-mile or so of my house I ran into a different problem.

Georgetown's Finest had, upon noticing the 114 cars and trucks strewn about, had decided to park in front of my driveway and block traffic to the hill.

I was stuck in this backup, but I was able to use the (empty) oncoming traffic side of the road to get home.

Notice that I said the trip home was sort of interesting, nothing more than that.

Monday, December 13, 2004
posted by dave at 11:13 PM in category daily

It's funny how the simplest things can sometimes have the biggest impacts.

Tonight I said something nice to someone, and her response what that it was the nicest thing that anyone had said to her in five years.

While I seriously doubt the time span - the girl is quite hot and probably gets tons of compliments - I still feel pretty good about making her smile like that.

On a completely unrelated topic, I found out this evening that TrainGirl has moved to New York or some other far away place. I will miss talking about books with her.

At least I know I didn't drive her away. I don't have the proper equipment.

Friday, December 10, 2004
posted by dave at 10:01 PM in category daily, drink

I've just astonished myself with my fragility.

First of all, I've lost my glasses somewhere. How I manage to lose things when I live by myself I'll never know. I don't really need my glasses to function but driving without them does make me feel a little out of sorts.

Second of all, there were no less than a half-dozen Jeeps in Rich O's parking lot when I arrived. Each of these must, of course, be checked out for the telltale stickers. All proved themselves to be innocuous, but not until each had taken a second or two to pick me up and then slam me back down.

Third of all, Rich O's was crowded with strangers again. This is really starting to bother me. As I told CoffeeDude last week, if Rich O's turns into a date bar then I'll stop going there and then there'll be no place for the likes of me.

Fourth of all, there was a new batch of one of NABC's beers. I won't say which one because the guy who invented it is a friend of mine. What I will say is that this new batch is absolutely the worst example of its style that I've ever had. I don't even know what style it should be in - bitter horse piss perhaps. I can't believe that someone actually sampled this before unleashing it on the consuming public. I paid and left after about two sips.

Fifth of all, some asshole nearly ran me off the road on the way back home.

Sixth of all, some other asshole in front of me drove fifteen MPH all the way down my road.

I guess that's it for now. I'm sure something else will piss me off before the night is over.

Thursday, December 9, 2004
posted by dave at 10:13 PM in category daily

After sleeping for over ten hours on Tuesday, imagine my surprise when last night, at around 7:00, I felt myself getting tired again.

I slept until about 6:00 AM this morning.

Now I'm the guy that went for nearly two months without getting more than a couple hours sleep per night. Now I sleep twenty-one out of forty-eight.

This week sure has seemed to fly by.

It is nice to not feel tired though. And the mental ramblings have settled down.

I may be going sane.

Wednesday, December 8, 2004
posted by dave at 1:47 PM in category daily

So for the past couple of days the things going on with me have not been worth the effort required to write about them, but I figure I'll try to play catch-up here anyway before people start getting concerned.

My mood is essentially back to normal, and I suppose I'm a little surprised and/or bothered by that. I feel like I should be feeling worse than I am, if for no other reason than less than two weeks ago was one of the low points of my life.

Lost power Monday night so I went to Rich O's and enjoyed a couple of Gulden Draaks. Nobody I knew was there except one of a certain person's ex-boyfriends and I didn't talk to him. By the time I got home my power was back on.

Last night I became extremely tired at about 8:00 so I went to bed and slept until my alarm went off at 6:30 this morning.

My cousin keeps calling me because I tried to call him the other night for some stupid reason. I haven't bothered to call him back.

My cell phone is broken (it eats batteries in just a few hours) so I'm getting this fancy new one with a camera built in.

As I said, nothing's really been worth the effort it takes to describe it. Pretty boring.

Sunday, December 5, 2004
posted by dave at 2:36 AM in category daily, drink, entertainment

a-dor-a-ble
adj.
1. Delightful, lovable, and charming.

a-bra-sive
adj.
1. Harsh and rough in manner.

cor-nu-co-pi-a
n.
1. An overflowing store; an abundance.

Just to get the beer report over with, I had a Delerium Tremens, which I really like, and followed that up with a couple pints of Guinness. All were good.

I also sampled a little of CoffeeDude's Anchor Porter. I liked it enough to resolve to have a full pint next weekend if Rich O's still has it.

Rich O's tonight was the site of, apparently, a meeting of Southern Indiana Girls that are Hot (S.I.G.H.). This is otherwise known as a bachelorette party. Never before have so many nubile young cuties gathered at Rich O's.

Once they had all left Rich O's became boring, so I went and talked VigilanteGirl into going to a bar where my uncle and my cousin were doing karaoke.

VigilanteGirl is adorable, and it was quite nice to have some time to talk with her away from her work distractions.

I guess that's about it. When I'm in a good mood it's harder to think of things to write about.

Oh yeah, I did tell VigilanteGirl about the tracing and about the jealousy and about LaptopGirl. These were things she needed to hear from me before she read in my 'blog.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004
posted by dave at 8:41 PM in category daily

You know what's weird?

When you're standing at the bar next to a friend, then another friend comes up and starts making out with the first friend.

That's what's weird.

Not in a bad way, just in an unexpected way.

Sunday, November 28, 2004
posted by dave at 12:40 PM in category daily, drink, ramblings, travel

Yesterday was not about beer, though there was a lot of beer consumed.

Yesterday was not about sleep deprivation, though I went about 30 hours without sleep.

Yesterday was not about Las Vegas, though I'm here.

Yesterday was about the fact that I couldn't stop laughing.

This is a new kind of insanity for me. My mood became so much better than it'd been for the past couple of weeks that the whole evening and night was like an extended emotional orgasm or something. I didn't want to go to sleep because I was afraid that the reality of the situation would somehow claw its way back to the surface of my mind.

Well I did sleep eventually, and while I'm no longer laughing, I'm still grinning.

Things are still gloomy, but they no longer threaten to completely obliterate me. Things are actually back to exactly what they were three weeks ago. The cruelty being directed at me was not coming from the person they pretended to be. At least that's the story and I'm sticking to it.

So I've managed to scramble back into the frying pan, and that's what yesterday was about for me.

There was beer involved too.

Most of my day and night consisted of a simple two-step dance:

1. Drink a couple of beers.

2. Try to get some sleep.

This dance repeated a half-dozen times, so I drank a lot of beers. I rotated between Newcastle, Smithwick's, and Guinness, and at one point had a Stella Artois. What crap. Here's my rating:

(draft) I asked for a Belgian and got this awful thing. I don't like lagers, and this was a pretty bad lager. Bland mixed with boring.

Now it's Sunday morning and I'm surprisingly not hung-over.

I'm sitting here second-guessing a decision made a couple of weeks ago, and second-guessing has become second-nature to me, so I'm back to normal I suppose.

As normal as I get anyway.

Thursday, November 25, 2004
posted by dave at 11:47 PM in category daily

After our Thanksgiving meal today we went out to the woods and shot up a car with a machine gun, of all things.

It was very cool, but I now know that I'm much better with the virtual machine gun in Half Life 2 than with a real one.

Rambo I'm definitely not.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
posted by dave at 11:28 AM in category daily

Last night several people came to my house for my sister Dina's pre-birthday party.

My beer selection was pretty straightforward: I had three and a half Mad Bitches and they messed me up. Good thing I didn't have to drive anywhere!

We played a game of Loaded Questions and I thought it'd be fun to post my responses here. Unfortunately I can't find my answer sheet so I'll have to go from memory. I know for a fact that I've forgotten at least two of my answers.

1. Calzone, pizza, garlic bread.

2. Socrates.

3. Steven Wright.

4. Scooby Doo.

5. Piano.

6. Alaskan oil drilling.

7. Garth Brooks.

8. Suburban sprawl fucking up what used to be pristine.

9. Beach Dork.

10. Wrist.

11. Snobby people.

12. F in wood shop.

13. The Fuzzy Wuzzy Kitty Store.

14. Kicking myself in the ass.

15. Don't watch commercials - I have TiVo!

16. Pool cues.

17. Ribbed condoms: for her pleasure.

18. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

19. Jerk off with all ten penises at once.

20. September 11, 2001, 8:00 AM.

21. Chess.

22. VigilanteGirl.

23. Whip it out.

Saturday, November 20, 2004
posted by dave at 11:02 AM in category daily, drink

Three times.

That's how many times VigilanteGirl called me last night while I was at Rich O's. This makes a total of three times that she's ever called me. Our flirting has always been face-to-face, but now I'm wondering if we've graduated to phone flirting.

I spent the first part of the night at Rich O's standing around waiting for a seat to open up somewhere. I'm really starting to develop a selfish concern for the way Rich O's has been on Fridays lately. I mean, if the place becomes too hip and popular, the crowds of Spaten and Heineken and Corona drinkers will drive us regulars away. Or at least drive me away. I really wanted to leave right off the bat but RealTrainGirl and GreenBeerDude arrived and gave me something to do besides stand around and glare at all the strangers.

Finally, some strangers left the island area and we all grabbed seats. MisunderstoodGirl was with us too. The last time I saw her I kind of got a fuck you, asshole vibe from her, a vibe that I thankfully did not detect last night.

I finished my Mad Bitch at about the second time VigilanteGirl called, this time with an update on the goings-on at a really loud bar that I had no interest in going to. She hinted that her entourage might come down to Rich O's later so I decided to pace myself and therefore ordered an NABC Beak's Best.

After a while, my companions left for quieter pursuits and were replaced by ExBartender - not exactly an even trade but still a little better than sitting by myself would have been.

By the third time VigilanteGirl called, this time to tell me she was on her way, I'd switched to root beer.

By the time I'd finished my root beer another hour and a half had passed, and I was alone at the island.

I drove up to the loud bar, and saw nobody I knew there, so I went home and played Half Life 2 for a while.

Friday, November 19, 2004
posted by dave at 12:26 PM in category daily

I'd better start freaking out now. Maybe that way I can avoid a total meltdown later.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Monday, November 15, 2004
posted by dave at 11:19 AM in category daily, family

In my hung-over state I forgot to write about this Saturday occurrence.

When I first arrived at Rich O's, I walked to the bar to order my first beer and talk with CoffeeDude for a bit.

Before I'd got two feet inside the door this girl sitting at the bar just started freaking out.

That's him! That's the guy! He's right there! I can't believe it! Hey Dave, over here! How are you!

Finally, the recognition I deserved. She was waving and bouncing up and down and I wouldn't be surprised if she wet herself a little.

This moderately attractive (I like brunettes in glasses) girl was as happy to see me as anyone has ever been - even more so than WendysLady. The problem was, I didn't have the slightest idea who in the hell she was.

I scanned my memory of my slightly checkered past, and found nothing. She did look familiar but I just couldn't place who she was.

Well as it turned out, this girl was a friend of one of my sisters, and I had actually met her a couple of times before.

What got GlassesGirl so excited was that she had just been talking to someone about my sister, and in particular my sister's Renaissance Faire obsession, when I walked in.

There I was, living proof that my sister existed and, by extension, proof that there really are people in the world that travel around trying to out-geek each other by dressing up in garb and saying aye and huzzah all the time.

Sunday, November 14, 2004
posted by dave at 1:36 PM in category daily, drink

Friday night sucked. The place was full of idiots that refused to move from the living room area. The only place to sit was the kiddie table, so I sat there and glared at the idiots while I drank first an NABC Tunnel Vision and then a Mad Bitch. I suppose the most interesting thing that happened was that one of the idiots ate an entire calzone, then he ate his girlfriend's calzone, then he ordered and ate an entire thing of lasagna.

Saturday night was much better. Rich O's was only moderately crowded and I was able to grab a seat on the couch pretty quickly.

I had a Robert the Bruce. I've had this before and I like it a lot. Next I had an Avery Old Jubilation, which tastes like a spiced ale to me (in a good way) but I'm told there's really no spice in it. Just a mix of hops. A pretty good beer though.

Throughout the night I spent much of my time feeling bad for a very cute, very unfortunately-named girl who was serving as a designated driver for her brother and another guy that may have been her boyfriend. The poor girl had to sit and watch her charges drink beer after beer and eat pretzel after pretzel while she wasn't offered a single thing. I tried to help ease her boredom by carrying on a mostly one-sided conversation.

I thought this was interesting. The boyfriend(?) has the same birthday that I do, and the unfortunately-named girl has the same birthday as my sister Dina.

Anyway, I should have stopped after the Avery, but I wasn't ready to leave, so I ordered a Tunnel Vision and only got about halfway through it before the alcohol timebomb inside me went off. I raced home and nuked some White Castles and then played pool all night.

Saturday, November 13, 2004
posted by dave at 5:18 AM in category daily

Step one: Tell him you'll call him back.

Step two: I don't like this game, and I'm not going to play it anymore.

Monday, November 8, 2004
posted by dave at 5:03 AM in category daily

I did an awful lot of driving around town this weekend.

On Saturday I managed to get myself totally lost twice while trying to retrace a shortcut I was shown a while ago. I had no luck except that I nearly freaked out when I thought I saw a familiar car in a driveway.

On Sunday I found myself back in Lanesville. I usually make it down there every month or so. I'll drive up to the old house at the top of the hill, hoping to see someone out in the yard.

"Hi, I have home movies of your house being built," I'll say. "Let me and my sister come in and snoop around and I'll make you a copy."

In the 25 years the I've been doing this, I've never seen a single person outside.

I've also never got up the nerve to actually knock on the door, though a friend of mine did just that a few months ago to no avail.

Anyway, yesterday there was something very different about the old neighborhood.

The house that had sat behind my old house for nearly 40 years was gone. Only a foundation and a pile of rubble remained.

I saw some sk8er boiz down by the school and I asked them what had happened to the house.

"It burned a few weeks ago," one of the kidz conceded.

Pretty weird to see just a pile of rubble where my best friend Kelly used to live.

Sunday, November 7, 2004
posted by dave at 6:44 PM in category daily

Step one: Say you'll call him later.

Step two: There is no step two.

Saturday, November 6, 2004
posted by dave at 11:14 PM in category daily, drink

Just thought I'd get both Friday and Saturday out of the way with one entry.

Friday night was boring. I had an NABC Tunnel Vision and an NABC Beak's Best. The night was a complete bust as far as conversation went. Nobody I knew was there, and nobody called.

Tonight (Saturday) it was equally boring at Rich O's. The only person I knew was ExBartender and he was in full-blown obnoxious node.

I had a Delerium Nocturnum first. Here's what I thought of it:

(bottle) Very dark, very fruity aroma. Taste reminded me of cherry wine. The second half of my glass - once the head had dissipated - was much better than the first half.

Next I had a Gulden Draak.

(draft) My first tasting of this rather famous Belgian. Not at all what I was expecting. I got a lot of fruit that I'll call raspberry. Too sweet for my taste.

The entire time spent at Rich O's was pretty much a waste of time. I left at around 10:00. This is what happens when you base your happiness on a single possibility, and that possibility doesn't pan out.

I will shut up now.

Thursday, November 4, 2004
posted by dave at 11:50 PM in category daily

Eric and I just finished cutting some wood flooring.

This was the maybe the second time that my new table saw, bought in the Spring, has ever been used.

Apparently there were all of these little adjustments that should have been made before any cutting was done, but to know that I would have had to actually read the owner's manual.

Like I have time for that. It would seriously cut into my busy schedule of watching TV and going to the bar.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004
posted by dave at 9:54 AM in category daily

Just a short entry to say that I'm shocked at how lopsided all of the one man, one woman referendums turned out last night.

I think there's a huge difference between true morality and what I call biblical morality.

To me, two of the most important hallmarks of true morality are tolerance and acceptance, I'm really surprised that, as a nation, we're still so high and mighty when it comes to things like this.

I truly thought people had grown. I know I have.

I guess I just got lucky.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004
posted by dave at 4:52 PM in category daily

(crossposted to the pool 'blog)

To properly experience election night, I've decided to watch the returns in the basement while I play pool.

I will pretend that it's Bush vs. Kerry.

While playing as Kerry, I will alternate between left and right handed play, and I will always choose the most complicated route to the pocket.

While playing as Bush, I will keep my eyes closed and blast everything as hard as I can.

posted by dave at 12:59 PM in category daily

I don't understand what's so fascinating about August, September, and October.

I have over a year's worth of entries yet you only read the last three months.

The interesting stuff started way before then.

Monday, November 1, 2004
posted by dave at 7:33 PM in category daily

wea-ry
adj.
1. Physically or mentally fatigued.

wea-ried
v.
1. To make or become weary.

Thanks for sort of clearing that up.

The word "careful" has been such an unspoken motto of mine that I should probably have it tatooed on my chest.

That motto has kept me safe and sane for several years but I fear it may have lost its power recently.

I'll do the best I can.

(I'm still intrigued about the e-mail though.)

posted by dave at 2:01 PM in category daily

Last night marked the second Halloween in a row in which I had zero trick-or-treat visitors.

Maybe it's the black stray cat that's taken up residence on my porch.

Maybe the kids are afraid of that spooky old man Siltz.

But I really don't think it's either of those reasons.

I think the kids are all in the subdivisions and apartment complexes.

That's fine though. More candy for me.

Moohaha.

posted by dave at 12:33 PM in category daily

One of two things has just happened. Either I've been threatened, or I've been given the most obvious and unnecessary advice ever.

The wording of the message I received is a little ambiguous as to which is the actual case.

The basic gist of the message was Be careful.

I don?t know if the or else was intentionally implied or not.

This little mystery that I've been perplexing over since yesterday certainly seems to have taken an interesting turn.

My question to you, oh anonymous Internet comrade and/or foe, is this: What was the damn e-mail about?

You obviously know me (you used the secret word) yet you don't seem to know me that well - for you're making the same basic assumptions that everyone else that doesn't know me that well has been making.

I've managed to be in a good mood for two days straight and so I'm going to end this a little abruptly.

Feel free to send another message via my form thingy or *gasp* an actual e-mail. Call if you know the number. I welcome discussion on this - it's cheaper than therapy and I just might learn something.

Sunday, October 31, 2004
posted by dave at 2:48 PM in category daily

Today I mowed my lawn for what I hope was the last time this season.

What a stupid tradition. You cover your yard with plants that only look good when they're cut short and yet they grow so fast that they have to be cut every week or two.

Don't even get me started on this whole raking leaves nonsense.

posted by dave at 10:39 AM in category daily, drink

schiz-o-phren-ic
adj.
1. Of, relating to, or characterized by the coexistence of disparate or antagonistic elements.

con-trast
n.
1. A difference, especially a strong dissimilarity, between entities or objects compared.

I've been sitting here, my hands poised over my keyboard, for an hour now. I've managed to copy/paste two dictionary definitions, and write two sentences.

I suppose I'll just try to mow through this block.

This makes four sentences.

Saturday night, Rich O's was pretty dead. When I first arrived there were some people in the red room that I didn't know, ProbableLesbian and CluelessSuitor were in the living room area, and that was it.

I ordered an NABC Tunnel Vision and joined the couple in the living room area. They left shortly afterward, but I've got enough to be paranoid about so I didn't take it personally.

The entire night was tame and relaxing. CoffeeDude came in, followed a short time later by TrainGirl, RealTrainGirl, and GreenBeerDude.

I tried one of the green beers (don't know what the hell it was called) and didn't care for it. I ordered a Stone Smoked Porter.

CoffeeDude and TrainGirl and I got to talking about dreams and lucidity in dreams. TrainGirl seems to have much better control than I do - she can even choose to replay certain scenes if they don't turn out the way she wants.

Anyway, like I said, a pretty boring night. After my Stone I had another Tunnel Vision, and I went home at around 11:30.

I didn't really have a reason, but I started the night expecting something unusual to happen. I don't know what I expected. Perhaps LaptopGirl would call. Perhaps my sister would visit, or my friend Eric. Just something unusual or interesting to go along with the unusual and interesting phenomenon of my good mood.

Nothing at all happened.

I'll now end this entry in a awkward way.

Saturday, October 30, 2004
posted by dave at 8:47 AM in category daily, drink

an-noy-ing
adj.
1. Causing vexation or irritation; troublesome.

mo-ron
n.
1. A person regarded as very stupid.

loud-mouth
n.
1. One given to loud, irritating, or indiscreet talk.

I got to the bar a little before 9:00. The place was extremely crowded, but I was able to grab the only seat at the bar next to a group of Rich O's professional beer drinkers.

Oh yeah, before I sat down I grabbed the latest postcard from LaptopGirl and read it so I could get that task over with. Of course I got sad, and that pretty much set the tone for the next couple of hours.

I had a Mad Bitch and listened to the PBDs play a game of Trivial Pursuit while I checked every ten seconds to see if a spot anywhere else had opened up. The Mad Bitch tasted a little off to me - there was kind of a rotten flavor that I couldn't quite identify. My next beer was an NABC Tunnel Vision that tasted very good.

At one point, shortly after UnbearablyAnnoyingDude started arguing that opossums are not mammals, I had what I thought was the brilliant idea of leaving the bar area and sitting in the dining area. Anything to get away from the throng.

CoffeeDude had appeared and he ended up joining me at a table. I hadn't seen him since LaptopGirl's departure and I felt compelled to spew my guts out. I keep saying that I don't want to talk about it, but once I get started I can't seem to shut up.

CoffeeDude recommended a Bell's Best Brown Ale so I had one of those. Here's my ratebeer.com rating:

(draft) Not too bad, but not all that great either. There was nothing that really stood out at all. Just a decent fairly generic brown ale. I like Newcastle better.

LaptopGirl called for her Rich O's report and her horoscope reading. There seemed to be some kind of interference with the call and it was quite difficult to understand what she was saying. One thing I was able to pick up was that the original plan of LaptopGirl visiting me in Las Vegas next month has been replaced with my driving to visit her instead. To be perfectly honest, both plans scare me, and I told LaptopGirl as much. I'll just have to see what kind of a mood I'm in when the time comes. Perhaps we can just arrange to wave at each other from opposite rims of the Grand Canyon.

After what seemed like an eternity Rich O's proper finally cleared out enough that CoffeeDude and I were able to grab some seats in the living room area. We were joined by ExBartender. I didn't stay too long after that because it seemed that I'd miscalculated my alcohol intake. Got home around 1:00 and watched The Blair Witch Project.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004
posted by dave at 7:07 PM in category daily, drink

Man I'm so ate up.

This evening, fueled I'm sure by the two NABC Tunnel Vision pints I had while waiting for my calzone to arrive, I found myself calling LaptopGirl.

I was stuck in traffic, or at least what passes for traffic in Southern Indiana, and the need to talk to her just overwhelmed me. Just for a couple of seconds, but long enough to scroll to her number in my cell phone's memory and hit talk.

It was very nice to talk to her if for no other reason than the paranoia-easing tone of the conversation.

Beyond that, however, I'm truly happy for how relaxed she sounds on the phone. I'm truly relieved that she didn't simply hang up on me.

I think I just need for her to know that even though she's a zillion miles away there's at least one person back in Indiana that misses her unconditionally. Of course there are undoubtedly several, but none of those people are talking to me anymore. What with everything being my fault and all.

Oops, there's that paranoia again.

Oh yeah - I'm supposed to read this new postcard that she sent to Rich O's, and the thought of that fills me with dread, but I'll read it because she asked me to.

I've decided to pretend that I didn't hear the part about the new job. That just sounds too permanent so I'm going to pretend I didn't hear it, and I won't write about it again.

I'm going to stop writing now because I'm in a good mood and want to stay that way for a while.

Monday, October 25, 2004
posted by dave at 9:43 PM in category daily

Last year at about this time I sprained my wrist.

Last night, because I'm still so wild in bed, I sprained the damn thing again.

I should get someone to kiss it better.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I have nobody.

Now where's that wrist brace?

Sunday, October 24, 2004
posted by dave at 12:11 PM in category daily, entertainment

Saturday I went to a Halloween party at the FirstCouple's house.

My costume? Well I originally planned to go as HipYoungDude from my last Las Vegas trip. I put on the world's loudest shirt and swimtrunks. I put on my sandals and my snazzy shades. I mussed my hair up extra well and let it dry. I looked at myself in the mirror.

It's a funny thing about HipYoungDude - when you take him out of a Las Vegas Summer and plop him into a Southern Indiana Fall he magically transforms into: BeachDork. So my costume was BeachDork and I think I fit that part pretty well.

On the way to the party I stopped to show my outfit to VigilanteGirl. I told her that she should come to the party in a bikini so we could be a somewhat-matched set, but she had to work late. I suppose that's for the best as there were some old (older than me even) people at the party and VigilanteGirl in a bikini would probably have stopped some hearts.

As I expected, I didn't really know many people at the party. I went because I like the FirstCouple and a few of the other people from their circle, but for the most part I didn't know anyone.

To drink I had some Jack's Hard Colas.

It was a pretty tame and relaxing night, soured only by my own inner turmoil. I'd left my cell phone upstairs because when I clipped it to my trunks my trunks kept threatening to come off, so I kept having to run up to see if I'd missed any calls.

I hadn't.

Saturday, October 23, 2004
posted by dave at 11:56 AM in category daily, drink

taunt
v.
1. To reproach in a mocking, insulting, or contemptuous manner.
2. To drive or incite (a person) by taunting.

On Friday I got to Rich O's a little after 9:00. I was in a fairly decent mood for once, I suppose because I'd played okay pool at The Bank Shot.

There was nobody I knew at Rich O's. I sat at the bar and ordered a Corsendonk Pater. I'd tried one of these last week and vowed to try it again with a clean palate. Here's the review I made at ratebeer.com:

(bottle)I thought this beer smelled and looked fantastic. I'm not really sure what I was expecting tastewise - I suppose a combination of a Belgian and a Brown. What I got was a strange-tasting beer that I can't really say I liked all that much. It just tasted like something was wrong with it, but I couldn't point to any one thing.

Oh yeah, before I'd even sat down at the bar the bartender pointed out these postcards from LaptopGirl leaning against a stack of coasters and asked if I'd seen them. Those damn things sat there mocking me for the rest of the night. I told myself that I wasn't going to look at them and ruin my (rapidly plummeting) mood.

After the Corsendonk I had a bottle of Kwak. I've written about this before. I generally like it but this time there was a very strange perfume smell/taste that I could never quite get a handle on. I don't think I've been turned away from this beer for good but if I ever get another bottle like that again it just might drive me away. One other thing is that the bartender tried to give me an official Kwak glass with the bottle but I was afraid I'd break the expensive-looking thing so I had him give me a regular Belgian glass instead.

For my next beer I asked for something a little lighter but said I'd like to stay with the Belgians. I was given a bottle of Hoegaarden. Here's what I thought of it:

(bottle) Recommended to me because I asked for something with a lighter taste. A cloudy yellow color that looked to me like a cross between a wheat and a lager - neither of which I care for. The taste was actually pretty decent though. The bartender was telling me about all of these different flavor components but I didn't really get any of them. Just a fairly plain, safe beer.

During the entire time I drank these three beers I kept checking behind me to see if anyone I knew had come in. They hadn't. Also, those damn postcards kept taunting me from the other end of the bar. I realized that I was sitting there drinking just to be drinking instead of drinking for the enjoyment of it and that really annoyed me, so I ordered a Mad Bitch to close out the night.

While I was drinking my last beer, ExoticGirl and her boyfriend sat at the bar. To my horror, she picked up the postcards and started reading them aloud. I went to the bathroom, but by the time I got back my resolve had evaporated. I picked up the cursed things and actually even read a couple of words on the first one before I got a grip on myself and put them back out of arms reach.

LaptopGirl did call me at some point after I got home. Because I wasn't at the bar I was useless so it was a very short conversation.

My ever-changing mood shifted from sad to irritated, and I found myself hoping that it would stay that way for a while because I'm tired of being sad.

Thursday, October 21, 2004
posted by dave at 12:23 AM in category daily

I was in a pretty good mood and I just couldn't stand it.

I just couldn't leave well enough alone.

I typed the name of a small town in Google's search field, clicked on one of the first returned links, and felt my eyes welling up before the page had even finished loading.

To cheer me back up, here is a joke from one of the 'blogs I read:

A five year old and a four year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the five year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing.

The four year old nods his head in approval.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say "hell" and you say "ass" OK?"

"OK," the four year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the five year old what he wants for breakfast.

"Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the four year old and asked with a stern voice,

"And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."

Wednesday, October 20, 2004
posted by dave at 9:39 PM in category daily

I just had a lovely conversation with LaptopGirl which I will now paraphrase:

Hi Da t is da. W you Vegas? I hours fr the.

And pretty much so on.

It was of course wonderful to hear from her. Helps keep me going.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004
posted by dave at 8:42 PM in category daily, drink

Just a quick note - mostly a follow-up to my Saturday entry.

Way back then I wrote that I wasn't able to give a fair tasting to Traquair Jacobite Ale because my senses had been overpowered by the Stone Smoked Porter I'd started the night with.

Well this evening I was able to correct that injustice.

While waiting for my yummy chicken-sausage-mushroom calzone I sat on the couch at Rich O's and enjoyed a bottle of Jacobite. RealTrainGirl was there and we spent a few minutes talking about my uncle, her girlfriend, and LaptopGirl.

(Just a quick edit to point out that a)those are three different people, and b)I didn't bring up the topic of LaptopGirl and I kinda wish I could go through a single conversation without being reminded of how much I miss her. In the case of RealTrainGirl though, I know she's just concerned and not prying.)

The Jacobite is, as I suspected on Saturday, quite an interesting beer. Very complex, with flavors I don't think I've ever encountered before. The stuff was good, though perhaps just a little too fruity for me to say I really liked it. I will have it again sometime though.

posted by dave at 4:34 PM in category daily

The clock is counting down...

...to calzone time!

I've fallen completely in love with the calzones at Rich O's.

Today wil mark the sixth weekday day out of the last ten that I go to Rich O's after work, order a calzone to go, and have a nice beer while I wait.

Sunday, October 17, 2004
posted by dave at 7:34 PM in category daily, family

Yesterday I went to a wedding. One of my cousins on my dad's side decided to take the plunge and marry a guy that looks, oddly enough, a lot like one of my cousins on my mom's side.

The things I wanted to say about the wedding are these:

1. This was only the second church wedding I've attended. To me there was what seemed to be an awful lot of talk about God and His "One Man, One Woman" plan. I guess you have to expect all of the religious talk in a church wedding, but I actually thought the guy got a little too political.

2. The bride's side of the aisle had about 50 people. The groom's side had maybe 10. I don't know what the story is there but I'm sure it's an interesting one.

3. Neither of the bride's brothers made the trip from TN to attend. These are the same brothers that didn't make the trip a week earlier when their father had emergency bypass surgery. According to an informal poll (I asked some people at Rich O's) it is not unreasonable to drive 600 miles to see your father for what may be the last time before he has major emergency surgery. According to the same poll it is not unreasonable to make that same drive to attend the wedding of your sister.

4. That's all I can think of.

posted by dave at 11:12 AM in category daily, drink

(The previous entry actually stems from a conversation that occurred before Saturday night. I just happened to be intoxicated enough late Saturday night to write that rambling mess. Saturday night itself was a pretty good night, all things considered.)

Saturday night, thankfully, Rich O's wasn't nearly as crowded as it had been on Friday.

There was nobody I recognized at the bar or in the living room area so I sat at the island and pondered what was the first happy mood I'd experienced in several weeks. I ended up having a couple bottles of Stone Smoked Porter while listening to the strangers sitting nearby arguing about whether picking the meat out of chili made it vegetarian or not. (He was right, she was wrong. If you cook it with meat then it's not a vegetarian meal.)

The Stone Smoked Porter is a very good beer, and it's even better when it's the first beer of a session. I ended up having a second bottle while I searched the beer menu and planned out my beer for the rest of the night.

At one point I got sick of the bickering about chili and I went over to the living room area where MisunderstoodGirl and I talked for a few minutes before her break ended.

I ordered a Traquair Jacobite Ale which was something I'd never had before.

I still can't really say that I've had it. I got the impression that it was very good but the Stone had overpowered my senses and so I really cannot give a fair description of the Jacobite.

Anyway, after a while TrainGirl came in and she and I spent the rest of the evening talking. I pretty much told her everything that's been going on inside me. She's a very good listener and I hope a very good keeper of secrets because I told her some things that I'd never told anyone before.

NotGeorge came and joined us at one point but he snuck out later. I think he may have felt left out as I was too busy confessing everything to TrainGirl to pay much attention to anyone else.

My last beer of the night was a Corsendonk Pater and I had the same problem with it that I've already described about the Jacobite. I just couldn't tell what it tasted like because of the Stone I'd had earlier.

I've promised myself to try both the Jacobite and the Corsendonk the next time I'm at Rich O's.

The night ended with me, TrainGirl, MisunderstoodGirl, and OddlyPrettyGirl sitting in the living room area just basically passing the time. It was quite pleasant. LaptopGirl had called briefly but cut the call short, promising to call back, then never did.

Saturday, October 16, 2004
posted by dave at 10:49 AM in category daily, drink

(Everybody gets different nicknames for this entry. Just mixing things up a little.)

I don't know how to start this entry.

The most natural place to start would be at the beginning, but what was the beginning?

Was it when I arrived at Rich O's? Was it when ZodiacGirl called to see if I was going to Rich O's? Perhaps it was sometime during the day when I began imagining all kinds of scenarios, each one worse than the one before, that had me all but convinced that setting foot outside my door would be a very bad idea.

Because even though my life and my mood have taken a turn very much for the worse, there's still a lot of room for things to degrade even more.

If I hadn't already used up the balancing metaphor back in August this would be a perfect time to whip it out. Back then I flailed my arms to stay happy. Now happiness isn't really an option and I need a new metaphor.

Hmmmm.

Oooh! I know! I'm in a frying pan, trying to keep out of the fire! That's a good one!

Yesterday, as I mentioned, I kept thinking up all these ways that Friday night could possibly play out. I wanted to get all of the possibilities in my head so (a)I wouldn't be surprised by any of them, and (b)I would know how to respond. What ended up happening wasn't the worst thing I imagined, but it was far from the best.

I got out of the shower last night and found that ZodiacGirl had left a message. She needed to know if I was going keep my promise to be her eyes and ears at Rich O's while she was away. Being blown off on Monday, having no contact all week, then being called on Friday for this reason - I suppose now we know just who misses who the most.

I win! I am the saddest! Yay for me!

Anyway, I called ZodiacGirl back and promised to call her from the bar and tell her the happenings therein and read her horoscope to her.

On the way, I stopped to see TracingGirl. I had to tell her that she needed to snap me up quickly as I surely wouldn't be on the market for long. Maybe I'd start rebuilding the walls that had crumbled lately, or maybe I'd succumb to the charms of someone like the old lady at Wendy's. I told TracingGirl that for this very brief period I was both vulnerable and unattached so she'd better act quickly.

When I arrived at Rich O's I wanted to turn around and leave. The place was very very crowded and there was no place to sit and there was nobody I knew there. I couldn't leave until I'd made my report to ZodiacGirl though. I called her, got her voicemail, and read her horoscope to her as she'd requested.

I decided to stay for just one beer. I sat at the couch, ordered myself a Kwak, and did my best to ignore the weirdoes sitting all around me.

It's amazing how alone a person can feel in a crowded room.

Perhaps the loathing I was radiating towards the weirdoes actually worked. Perhaps they were leaving anyway. What was important is that they did leave shortly after I'd sat down. I ordered myself another Kwak and talked to ZodiacGirl again on the phone. I told her that there was nobody but a bunch of strangers there and that was pretty much the gist of the three or four more conversations we had last night.

At one point I looked up and was very surprised to see my sister and her fiancé Kenny come in! Dina knew my mood and I guess wanted to help cheer me up. It worked.

The three of us sat around while Dina and I talked about dreams and nightmares and other fluff.

SunburnGirl joined us for a while.

There was a girl that looked like a cross between ZodiacGirl and CannonGirl. And she was cute. So now I know that those two would have cute kids if only biology would allow it.

I had a Mad Bitch.

ZodiacGirl called a couple more times. I told her I missed her and that nobody interesting had appeared at Rich O's.

Once Dina and Kenny and SunburnGirl had left I had myself a Guinness in ZodiacGirl's honor then talked with BusDude for a while about his party next Friday. I will probably go.

Maybe I'll take WendysLady.

Friday, October 15, 2004
posted by dave at 4:40 PM in category daily

So yesterday I was standing at the counter at Wendy's, waiting for my chicken strips to get finished. There were several other customers standing around me as this particular Wendy's is often quite slow.

At one point a black woman, probably between 55 and 60 years old, comes out from the kitchen smiling and waving in my direction.

I should point out that I've never seen this woman before in my life, or if I did, then I've certainly never talked to her.

I turned around to see who she was gesturing to, but there was nobody behind me.

She smiled again and told me that I really looked nice. Nicer than normal was what I inferred.

I told her that I was usually there on Fridays, which is casual dress day, and that she probably hadn't seen me on a Thursday (in a tie) before.

That seemed to satisfy her. She told me it was nice to see me, and again told me how nice I looked.

Then she went back to the rear of the restaurant, perhaps to masturbate.

I suppose it's nice to know I'll still have options even after I scare all the attractive young women away.

Sunday, October 10, 2004
posted by dave at 11:18 AM in category daily, drink

In an attempt to feign some semblance of normalcy I present this entry.

I got to Rich O's at about 8:00, expecting a huge crowd (they're having their hoppy beer festival) but the place was actually only about half-full. CoffeeDude was talking to some lady at the bar, and MisunderStoodGirl was sitting in the living room area with a bunch of guys I never saw before.

I grabbed a seat at the island for two reasons. First, I was still reeling about the news from LaptopGirl, and second, MisunderstoodGirl had a large sign proclaiming "Warning: Live Homosexual Acts Ahead" and if I'd sat on the couch with her I might have had a lot of explaining to do.

So I sat at the island, by myself, and had a Belhaven Ale while I tried to get a grip on myself. After a bit I called my cousin Jeff and promised him some good beer if he'd come down to Rich O's. I had a bottle of Kwak that was quite good, though not as good as I remember the draft version being.

As the night progressed Jeff did show up, as did NotGeorge and PirateGuy. MisunderstoodGirl was joined by TrainGirl and RealTrainGirl. I took the opportunity to update RealTrainGirl on my uncle's condition and promised to tell him that she wished him a speedy and full recovery.

The responsibility of providing good beer to Jeff was not one I took lightly. I started him out with a Mad Bitch. This may have been his first Belgian ale. I'm not sure if he really liked it or not - all I got from him was "It's certainly different." It certainly is, especially when you're used to drinking Newcastle almost exclusively.

It was at about this time that LaptopGirl called from the road. I ended up passing the phone around to the girls so she could talk to all of them. Once I got the phone back I was asked a series of yes-or-no questions. I'm hoping for an explanation as to what this was all about sometime soon.

Once I'd finished my Kwak and Jeff had finished his Mad Bitch I had the bartender bring out a couple of bottles of Alaskan Smoked Porter. Jeff had introduced me to smoked beer years ago and I certainly wanted him to be able to drink one of the best there is.

The girls had heard about Jeff's slight homophobia in the past and they - especially MisunderstoodGirl - all wanted to mess with his head but I guess I talked them out of it because everyone was very civilized.

One other item of note was that Rich O's was nearly overflowing with beautiful women. By overflowing I mean by Rich O's standards - there were three beautiful women there that nobody had seen before. Jeff and I split on who was the prettiest. He was partial to the long-haired brunette sitting on the couch, while I couldn't stop twisting my neck around to check out the mousy-haired girl behind us in the red room. To end this tie-breaker I enlisted RealTrainGirl who seemed quite sure that RedRoomGirl was indeed the hottest girl of the two.

Once Jeff left, and the strangers in the living room area finally left I went over and sat with the girls for a while. They were going out somewhere and they all invited me. MisunderstoodGirl actually tried to lift me from the couch to get me to leave with them. I was able to decline because MisunderstoodGirl, while seemingly quite fit, weighs in at maybe half what I do.

Once I was alone in the living room area LaptopGirl called again. I had this sudden vision of my life becoming a series of random and meaningless events highlighted only by the occasional call from LaptopGirl. I may never be able to sleep soundly again for fear that I'll miss a call. This phone call continued the earlier yes-or-no line of questioning, and I understood it even less this time than I had earlier. LaptopGirl accused me of talking too loudly and allowing everyone in the bar to hear me but that really wasn't the case. The bar was very nearly empty at that point and the people that were there were all in the red room.

Once I got home LaptopGirl called again and updated me on her situation. The bar I'd recommended from the brewspaper had turned out to be a dud. She was off looking for a better place. Kind of the theme of her entire trip I suppose.

When I finally got to sleep I dreamed that LaptopGirl and I were taking a trip to some unnamed place. At one point Jeff joined us and he and LaptopGirl got into an argument over politics. We ended up murdering Jeff and dumping him into the Grand Canyon. Then it was several years later and LaptopGirl's presidential bid was in jeopardy because someone had found Jeff's body and I had to take the fall.

That's what friends do after all.

posted by dave at 9:41 AM in category daily

This entry has replaced an earlier one entitled "voices" because that old entry is now completely irrelevant.

Actually the majority of the last two weeks, and a good part of the last several months, is now irrelevant.

LaptopGirl has gone. She has moved Westward seeking happiness and adventure.

I'm sad. I'm hopeful that she'll find what she's looking for, and I'm grateful for the walls inside me that she unwittingly helped break down, but most of all I'm just sad.

I'm selfish that way.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004
posted by dave at 12:36 PM in category daily

My cell phone is set to vibrate, because I'm at work, and I keep imagining that it's vibrating, but when I check it's doing no such thing.

I'm probably a little oversensitive because my uncle is in the hospital and I know if the phone does vibrate it could be someone calling with bad news.

So I may just be imagining this vibrating.

Or I could have some new hip disease that they'll name after me once it kills me.

This all reminds me of a funny thing I overheard at work.

There was this buzzing/vibrating noise coming from the cubicle of a guy with all kinds of gadgets.

Over the noise that other day I heard a woman's voice:

"Can I borrow that when you're done?"

Well it was funny to me anyway.

Monday, October 4, 2004
posted by dave at 12:12 PM in category daily

Between Friday's distractions, Saturday's mental ramblings, and Sunday's guilty conscience I've managed to get seven hours of sleep since I got up Friday morning. That's a whopping five percent for those of you scoring at home.

I don't particularly expect things to get better tonight.

After all, nothing has really changed. The things racing through my head for the last two nights will still be there tonight. Plus she'll be back from her trip tomorrow and I have no idea what will happen after that.

The thing that pisses me off is that right now, at noon on Monday, I could probably fall asleep for ten hours. Unfortunately they frown upon that kind of thing here at work, and by the time I get home this evening I expect this fatigue to be replaced by something else.

Something that will no doubt keep me awake for yet another night.

Friday, October 1, 2004
posted by dave at 4:11 PM in category daily

This morning I was witness to a three-car pile-up.

Okay, to be fair, it wasn't really a pileup. It was more like a three-car fender bender.

The driver of the car directly in front of me at the light in Edwardsville, upon seeing the light turn green, decided to immediately jump on the gas and speed through the intersection.

There was only one problem with this plan: The car in front of her was stuck behind a long line of cars waiting for the next light. It was only about fifteen feet ahead of the woman driver in front of me.

She smacked the car in front of her without even hitting her brakes. This collision knocked car number two into the back of car number three.

After a couple of minutes while everyone stood around making sure nobody was hurt, I gave a business card to each driver in case they needed a witness, and went to work.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004
posted by dave at 10:35 PM in category daily

Just do me already.

I see you nearly every day, and you get bolder and bolder each time I see you.

Would you please cut the crap and just have your way with me?

I promise I won't struggle. Unless you like that kind of thing.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
posted by dave at 6:45 PM in category daily, work

To leave the parking lot at work in the morning you have to push a button. Once you push the button you have to open a metal gate and then walk across the street.

Because pushing the button and opening the gate is hard or something people are in the habit of checking behind them, and if anyone is following closely, holding the gate open for them.

Notice I said closely.

This morning I was a good 20 yards away from gate (crossing the tracks for those familiar with where I'm talking about) and this lady up ahead decided to stand there, holding the gate open, until I arrived.

Now the lady was obviously trying to be nice and polite, but what she was also inadvertantly doing was asking me to speed up, perhaps jog a little, to get to the gate and be all grateful and shit.

I was 20 yards away. She was being polite to the point of rudeness.

I didn't speed up to grab the gate and thank her. I did the next best thing.

I stopped, bent over, and pretended to tie my shoelace.

This took about 20 seconds, and when I stood back up I was pretty miffed to see that she was still standing there holding the gate!

Great, so now I not only had to run up to the gate and be all grateful, I also had to apologize for "tying" my shoelace.

I didn't do those things either. I patted my pockets, pretended to have left something in my car, turned around and walked the other way.

I was glad to see that she was gone from the gate when I returned with the "forgotten item" or I may have had to kiil her.

After, of course, I thanked her for being so damn polite and patient.

Sunday, September 26, 2004
posted by dave at 8:53 AM in category daily

Not all is doom and gloom with me.

I had a few of my friends smell my Monte Carlo last night to see if they could detect the carcass odor.

NotGeorge said he couldn't smell anything.

ElPresidente and his wife both think the smell is simply the musty smell you'd get from too much moisture. I think they're wrong, but at least it means that the smell isn't as disgusting as it used to be.

CoffeeDude refused to smell my car. What's up with that I wonder.

posted by dave at 12:57 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

dra-ma
n.
1. The quality or condition of being dramatic.

re-al-i-za-tion
n.
1. The act of realizing or the condition of being realized.

vul-ner-a-ble
adj.
1. Susceptible to injury.

out-gun
v.
1. To overwhelm or defeat.

shit
n.
1. Something considered disgusting, or poor quality, foolish, or otherwise totally unacceptable.

re-treat
n.
1. The act or process of withdrawing, especially from something hazardous, formidable, or unpleasant.
2. A place affording peace, quiet, privacy, or security.
3. A period of seclusion, retirement, or solitude.

in-ev-i-ta-ble
adj.
1. Impossible to avoid or prevent.

My beer selection tonight was fairly tame: two Belhaven's and two Piraats.

Other than that I spent some time with LaptopGirl, NotGeorge, CoffeeDude, and MisunderstoodGirl, talking about kites and paper and stuff.

None of that is relevant though.

What is relevant is that drama is inevitable, and I have chosen to do what I can to limit that drama to myself.

Man it sucks that my entries have seemed so tortured lately.

Things are not really as bad as a quick reading of my 'blog would make them seem. I'm actually more shocked than anything else. I really didn't expect to be in this situation ever again.

If I had to pick a single word to describe the last three months: fascinating.

If I had to pick a word to describe the last two days: overwhelming.

All that talk about balance and road trips and serial killers was simply an attempt to solidify my resolve. To remind myself that sometimes the right thing is not the easy thing.

Sometimes it's pretty damn tough.

I've been though this before actually. A long time ago in Omaha I found myself struggling with nearly the same situation. At that time I was able to make a clean break, to get the hell out before things progressed to their inevitable conclusion: Drama and pain.

This time around I cannot simply pack up and move to Seattle. I can, however, still do what's right. I cannot change the past, but I can prevent at least a small part of this particular future.

My friends at Rich O's will either understand or they won't - I can't even explain my actions without making things worse. Not that anyone would believe me anyway.

Everything that was wrong is now right. Everything that was right is now impossible. Nobody is more surprised than I am, because that which I've been fighting and denying, and which everyone else has been assuming and awaiting, is actually coming to pass. Despite my best intentions, I'm human after all.

This really blows.

For the better part of a decade I was content. Not over-the-top happy, but content.

Now that contentedness has given way to this terrible blend of vulnerability and uncertainty and shock, and I don't like it one bit.

I'll say it again, this really blows.

(I've edited the hell out of this entry, trying to make it a litle less gloomy. I've had little success though, because it is a gloomy subject after all.)

Saturday, September 25, 2004
posted by dave at 10:58 AM in category daily

I wrote back in July that something had died in my Monte Carlo.

I tried several times to locate where the odor was coming from but I had no success.

Last night, feeling a little bored with myself and my life, I dedided to start driving the Monte Carlo more often. Sure, I'm trying to keep it as nice as I can, but I also get very little enjoyment out of it since I'm totally paranoid about door-dings and such. So I end up driving it one or twice avery couple of months, and I've put maybe 1000 miles on it since I inherited it.

Anyway, the smell of death is still in the air of my Monte Carlo. I think it's lessened over the past couple of months, but it's still noticeable.

I should probably start saving my money up to have the thing torn apart so the carcass of whatever it is can be removed.

posted by dave at 10:49 AM in category daily, drink

I suppose I could say that last night was pivotal, but as this belief stems from a drunken realization instead of anything substantial, I'll probably just continue to wait and see. Perhaps I still have some common sense in reserve.

I arrived at Rich O's unfashionably early, having failed once again to decipher VigilanteGirl's flirtatious ramblings, and was surprised to see GeneralElectricGuy sitting in the living room area. I grabbed myself a Belhaven (very smooth and creamy on tap) and joined him and what turned out to be one of his coworkers.

I hadn't seen GeneralElectricGuy since the party last month, and I don't know him very well, but he seemed a little subdued. Later I guessed that this was simply because his friend CheeseGuy was doing enough talking for ten people.

The three of us talked about widely varying topics for a couple of hours, interrupted occasionally by TallLady trying to interject controversial topics into the mix. I finished my Belhaven and decided to try a Bell's Amber.

That was a waste of time. It sucked. Watery with orange peel flavoring.

So I went back to one of my favorites - a Piraat. Yummy but I knew it was way too early to be drinking the strong stuff. I'd have to pace myself.

At one point LaptopGirl joined us, and almost immediately declared that she'd be leaving after one beer. This makes twice in a row and so now I'm starting to get a little paranoid. This is also about the time I finished my Piraat and switched to Guinness.

CoffeeDude came in fairly late in the evening. This was quite cool because I hadn't seen him in over a month and I was actually becoming a little concerned. Everything's fine though - our schedules just haven't been overlapping.

Through all of this CheeseGuy kept up a steady stream of words, and once he and GeneralElectricGuy left the place seemed eerily silent. One pretty cool thing was that CheeseGuy paid my tab. I don't think that's ever happened before at Rich O's.

At one point NotGeorge came in and joined CoffeeDude and me in what was basically just sitting around sipping our beers.

I got home at about 11:30, realized that the thing which I've feared most may have come to pass, and spent the rest of the night staring at my ceiling.

Friday, September 24, 2004
posted by dave at 11:25 AM in category daily

When I first moved back to Indiana in 1998 I had a hell of a time finding a barber that wouldn't completely butcher my hair.

After maybe a year and a half of horrible haircuts given by perhaps a dozen different barbers I finally found a lady that cut it the way I wanted.

I told her then that at long as she could keep from butchering me she'd be the only person I would let cut my hair.

For nearly six years I've held to that promise, but lately I'm begun to question my resolve.

I'd guess that since March of this year, at least 50% of the trips I've made to my barber have been a complete waste of time.

She's been closed.

Today it happened again.

It's not like I'm showing up at the crack of dawn or on a holiday or right at closing time. I got there at 11:00 AM on a Friday. Every business in the world - except apparently my barber - is open at 11:00 AM on a Friday.

I really should have called first, but I didn't.

When you feel like you have to start calling businesses to see if they're open at 11:00 AM on a Friday it just may be time to find someone a little more consistent.

Sunday, September 19, 2004
posted by dave at 12:18 AM in category daily, drink

gor-geous
adj.
1. Dazzlingly beautiful or magnificent.
2. Wonderful, delightful.

poof
interj.
1. Used to indicate a sudden vanishing.

After Friday's near-perfect evening I knew that Saturday had its work cut out for it.

As it turned out Saturday was a good night as well, though for different reasons.

My night started out with a quick visit to where VigilanteGirl works to semi-apologize for not calling her the night before as we'd semi-arranged. I think that we also semi-arranged to see each other in the morning but I'm only semi-sure about that.

I arrived at Rich O's right at 8:00, way too early but I keep saying that and it keeps happening.

The played was packed with strangers but I was able to grab a seat at the bar before too much time had passed. I ordered myself an NABC Beaks's Best, remembering how good it had been the night before.

It was still quite good, but I'm thinking that the Beaks's may not be a good choice for the first beer of a session. It was a little bitter.

I'd barely started into my beer when LaptopGirl came in and, not seeing any better prospects, she grabbed a spot at the bar next to me. (LaptopGirl hates sitting at the bar.)

Lately I've been hesitant to write anything complimentary or derogatory about LaptopGirl in this 'blog for fear of unwarranted extrapolations. Tonight I'm still a little hesitant, but I'm also a little tipsy so I'm going to say that she is one very pretty young woman and leave it at that.

Too bad she's got that conjoined-twin thing or whatever going on with her neck. (ha ha inside joke)

While I amused myself with LaptopGirl's attempts to find anyone interesting at Rich O's I enjoyed a Delirium Tremens, a very nice Belgian that I think has less alcohol than the other Belgians I've had lately.

Fairly early in the evening LaptopGirl left for greener pastures and I was left to enjoy a couple pints of Smithwick's. I'm growing more and more fond of this beer each time I drink it, so it will probably be going away soon.

At one point I tried to call VigilanteGirl (who's also waaaaay out of my league) to invite her to Rich O's but I got her voicemail instead. After waiting for a half-hour or so without hearing back from her I went home.

Saturday, September 18, 2004
posted by dave at 11:43 PM in category daily, drink

sur-prise
v.
1. To encounter suddenly or unexpectedly; take or catch unawares.

de-li-cious
adj.
1. Highly pleasing or agreeable to the senses, especially of taste or smell.
2. Very pleasant, delightful.

Because of my computer problems I'm writing this entry late on Saturday night.

On Friday I arrived at Rich O's and did my customary survey of the parking lot for the cars of anyone I know. I saw no familiar vehicles, so I was surprised to see LaptopGirl sitting at the bar. After a short time some people left and some other people (thanks, TallLady) changed seats so I sat at the bar and pretended to be keeping LaptopGirl company while in actuality she was so buried in a map of some hiking trail that it would have taken someone a lot more interesting than I am to get her attention.

Speaking of interesting, while I was drinking my first beer of the night, a Smithwick's, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and was delighted to see my old friend Eric and his lovely wife Terri!

Their company was exactly what I needed - not because I felt that I was lacking in companionship, just because they're good people who I knew would understand me.

Shortly after Eric and Terri arrived LaptopGirl left and sure enough, I was immediately interrogated. The difference between this occasion and every other time I've been questioned about how I'm feeling was that this time my words were taken at face value. What a relief it was to not be pitied!

Anyway, while I talked with my friends we all had some Piraat Belgian Ales. I've already written about how much I like this stuff. I don't think Eric and Terri shared my enthusiasm, for they both switched to much tamer beers (Guinness and NABC Beak's Best) for the next round.

At one point during the evening we were joined by NotGeorge and, after Eric and Terri left, NotGeorge and I spent some time talking about what perverts we both were. I had a Beak's Best myself and it was probably the best glass of that particular beer I've ever had.

Friday was one of the more enjoyable nights I've had lately. Everything was perfect. The company and the beer all flowed and blended together to form a night that relaxed and stimulated me at the same time.

Monday, September 13, 2004
posted by dave at 4:26 PM in category daily

I'm always seeing these cars and trucks with "Mile 0" decoractive plates on them.

Actually, I'm always seeing VigilanteGirl's car and yesterday I saw some dude's truck with "Mile 0" decorative plates.

The plate on the dude's truck cleared up the mystery for me.

Under the "Mile 0" it said in small print "Key West, Florida."

So now I know what these plates mean and I can finally get some sleep.

Sunday, September 12, 2004
posted by dave at 12:24 AM in category daily, drink

claus-tro-pho-bic
adj.
1. Relating to or suffering from claustrophobia; Uncomfortably closed or hemmed in.

potential
n.
1. The inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being.

Tonight wasn't the most comfortable night I've ever had.

Rich O's was fairly empty. I started out sitting in the living room area with some of the regulars, but when more people joined us I felt a little crowded.

I moved over to the island area thinking this would allow me to drink my beer (a Rogue Dead Guy Ale) in peace.

(Belushi) But noooooooooooooooo! (/Belushi)

All of the regulars followed me to the island area and continued to yap amongst themselves.

Somehow I managed to suffer through the evening with my Dead Guy and my Alaskan Smoked Ported (Yum!) and after those two beers I left.

I went to meet MysteryLady in order to decipher the cryptic voice message I'd been left earlier. Instead of clearing things up I'm now afraid that I've managed to blur the situation.

I had to be a little forceful I'm afraid, reminding her that this arrangement (such as it is) was all her idea and that she'd promised to be able to deal with it.

The alternative is simply too risky and now I seem to be the only one who realizes that fact.

Saturday, September 11, 2004
posted by dave at 11:58 AM in category daily, drink

a-dor-a-ble
adj.
1. Delightful, lovable, and charming.

pu-trid
adj.
1. Decomposed and foul-smelling; rotten.
2. Extremely objectinable; vile.

When I got to Rich O's last night I nearly turned around and left immediately. PutridPipeGuy was really stinking up the place with that dogshit or whatever it was in his pipe. Pipe smokers try to act like they're soooo sophisticated and stuff but that effect is ruined when the paint starts peeling off the walls and even the cockroaches start evacuating the premises.

Anyway, I didn't leave. I sat at the bar and started out with a Dead Guy Ale from Rogue. I've had this before and I really like it.

After what seemed like an eternity PutridPipeGuy and his entrourage finally left. This meant that Rich O's was effectively empty becuase everyone smart had already fled the aroma.

As for me, I ended up having a couple of Piraats. This is a very good beer that, as I stated in my RateBeer review, would probably kill me if I ever had more than two in one sitting.

Eventually MisunderstoodGirl appeared in the living room area and I moved over there. We talked for a while about travel and moving while I tried to ignore the idiots holding a political debate at the end of the couch.

At about the time I finished my second Piraat LaptopGirl came in looking, I guess "comfortable" would be the word. I ordered a Smithwicks and after MisunderstoodGirl left I spent a pleasant hour or two talking with LaptopGirl until someone more interesting came over and I realized two things:

1. I had drank too much.
2. I was no longer needed.

I left pretty abruptly because I knew that if I didn't I'd be there closing out the place with LaptopGirl and I'd probably be sleeping in my car if I didn't get home fairly quickly.

Saturday, September 4, 2004
posted by dave at 10:49 PM in category daily, drink, entertainment

First off I need to catch up on what happened Thursday and Friday.

Thursday I broke one of my new resolutions and did something stupid for a stupid reason.

How do you suppose that worked out?

Not very well, that's how.

Friday when I got to Rich O's all of the regulars I know were crowded into the living room section. There was clearly no room for me so I ended up at the bar.

At one point I realized a couple of things:

1. Some seats had opened up near my friends.
2. None of them had even bothered to invite me over.

Now I know I've been a little moody lately, but c'mon. I suppose this should tell me something but I'll probably continue to play dumb.

Tonight (Saturday) I went bowling, of all things, with my sister Dina's family.

This was the first time I'd been in several years and the rust was quite evident. I bowled two games, each of which saw a score that was barely half my old average. I think my 9-year-old nephew beat me the first game.

Back to Rich O's to drown my sorrows, I had a Three Floyd's Pride & Joy English mild ale.

I liked it. It could have used a little more malt to balance it out but I'll definitely have it again.

Friday, September 3, 2004
posted by dave at 12:44 AM in category daily

Tonight I had a feeling.

I just knew that if I went to Rich O's that things would be pushed back into balance.

I was right.

Oh yeah, I have four days off work. That's very cool and I really need the time off because I'm sick of getting up at 6:30AM every damn day.

Monday, August 30, 2004
posted by dave at 4:40 PM in category daily, work

Just when I manage to convince myself that I am indeed losing weight through some mysterious means some guy at work puts up a picture of me looking like a lardass.

Sunday, August 29, 2004
posted by dave at 6:24 PM in category daily, drink

em-pa-thy
n.
1. An identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, or motives.

ram-bunc-tious
adj.
1. Boisterous and disorderly.

boon-ies
slang.
1. Rural country or jungle.

Last night, appearing in the role of BigWheelGirl, was yours truly.

My mission, should I choose to accept it, was to accompany LaptopGirl and her friend GeneralElectricGuy to a party at TrainGirl and RealTrainGirl's house - and, I believe, by my presence dissuade GeneralElectricGuy from getting any ideas.

I did choose to accept the mission as, even though it seemed to be a disaster waiting to happen, it did at least represent a promotion from carpool dummy.

Despite starting out with this, perhaps the worst idea in history, everything turned out very well. There were a lot of people at the party and I got to see and do things that just don't come up in my normal boring life:

1. I got to show LaptopGirl the field in Maplewood where I grew up.

2. I got to see a bunch of women mud-wrestle in various stages of dress and undress.

3. I got to hear LaptopGirl play a guitar and sing karaoke. She's just so damn cute when she's shy like that.

4. I got to spray a bunch of muddy women with a hose to remove mud.

5. Finally, I got to verify a legend of sorts when one of my friends from Rich O's did indeed get naked at a party.

My beer last night was a growler (half-gallon) of Smithwick's. Actually I think I had about half of it. It ended up tasting pretty good but I cut myself off pretty early because I'd need to return LaptopGirl to her car in New Albany.

GeneralElectricGuy seemed to me to be a genuinely nice and smart guy that may just be a victim of bad timing. He went to a party where he only knew one person and seemed to enjoy himself. I actually decided that I liked the guy enough that I wouldn't try to lose him in the Southern Indiana sticks as he followed LaptopGirl and me back to New Albany.

Friday, August 27, 2004
posted by dave at 1:10 PM in category daily, work

stalk
v. tr.
1. To follow or observe (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement.

At 12:25 today I sent out the following message to my co-workers:

I have twelve bottles of one.6 Chardonnay. I'll give a bottle each to the first twelve people to tell me the names of my three cats.

Hint: Google is your friend.

At 12:33 all twelve bottles had been won, and I had another half-dozen or so correct entries that came in too late.

I think a few of the winners may have been a little too fast - like they already had the information memorized or something.

Scary.

Saturday, August 21, 2004
posted by dave at 12:04 PM in category daily, drink

sub-par
adj.
1. Not measuring up to traditional standards of performance, value, or production.

beau-ti-ful
adj.
1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.
2. Excellent; wonderful.

use-less
adj.
1. Being or having no beneficial use; futile or ineffective.
2. Incapable of functioning or assisting; ineffectual.

I started Friday unsure if I was ready for a night drinking at Rich O's or not.

After work I went to shoot some at The Bank Shot and I really stunk up the place. I suppose I'll write about that session in my pool 'blog, but after I finally quit I figured that the night was already going so badly that going out drinking wouldn't be much of a risk.

Rich O's was very crowded, with about 50% strangers and the rest regulars that I kind of know. I sat at the island with TrainGirl and RealTrainGirl who invited me to a party next weekend. I plan to go after I go to this Brew at the Zoo thing that I've been looking forward to.

While I talked with the train girls and later LaptopGirl and some other regulars, I enjoyed my first beer of the night - a Robert the Bruce. I'd had one of these Monday, and while this time it didn't seem quite as refreshing, it still ended up being a good choice. At one point I noticed DeadLady sitting at the little table, and I was glad to see her still hanging in there.

Once a bunch of strangers left the living room area we moved over there so LaptopGirl would feel more comfortable.

On ElPresidente's recommendation I had an Avery "The Reverend" which I thought was a stupid name but the beer was really good. Perhaps not as complex as the Great Lake's Anniversary Ale but with a flavor that's as good as any belgian I've had.

Several people seemed to drift in and out of the area. CoffeeDude boldly went where I feared to tread - he attempted to cheer LaptopGirl up. ExBartender also did whatever it is that he does. I pretty much stayed out of the way since the last time I tried to make things better I ended up getting yelled at.

I decided to stop after just the two beers and switched to a Diet Coke. After another hour or so, spent mostly talking with MisunderstoodGirl and LaptopGirl about how mean MisunderstoodGirl is and whether Lewis and Clark had to fight alligators and ferns before they could even start on their expedition, I left pretty abruptly when nobody wanted to listen to my fascinating story about my Extreme Home Makeover dream.

This morning I don't have a hangover. I'm becoming cautiously optimistic that perhaps my recent problems with alcohol were just a temporary thing.

posted by dave at 1:43 AM in category daily, website

I had this well-written and eloquent entry about Friday night all ready to be posted when I accidentally hit the escape key and wiped it all out.

I'll rewrite the stupid thing tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004
posted by dave at 6:05 PM in category daily

dis-turb-ing
adj.
1. Emotionally or mentally troubling; upsetting.

per-vert-ed
adj.
1. Deviating from what is considered right and correct.
2. Of, relating to, or practicing sexual perversion.

damned
adj.
1. Condemned, especially to eternal punishment in Biblical Hell.

I am, as it turns out, a horrible person.

I didn't plan to end up this way - it just happened.

Hopefully, now that I've identified the problem, I can make efforts to eliminate or at least reduce its impact on myself and others.

The other day I briefly wrote that a friend of VigilanteGirl had been in an accident.

This was a very serious accident as it turns out.

I stopped to see VigilanteGirl after work yesterday, and as I hadn't seen her since Sunday morning, I asked her how her friend was doing.

Her friend is alive, but pretty well fucked up. Probably for life.

VigilanteGirl demonstrated all of the cuts, breaks, internal injuries, etc. that her friend had suffered after being hit by a drunk driver.

VigilanteGirl used her finger to trace, along her own body, long elaborate paths of carnage that had nearly killed her friend in front of her eyes.

(This is the part where I'm a horrible person.)

As VigilanteGirl traced her imaginary cuts and breaks along her arms, down her face, and pretty much everywhere on her body, I actually became strangely aroused.

I actually had to avert my eyes, lest some twinkle in them betray my sickness.

I certainly wasn't glad that the poor girl (who I've never met) had sustained these horrible injuries. I also wasn't at all intrigued by the actual injuries themselves. They sounded truly horrific.

It was the tracing that got me.

Ahh, the tracing.

I've seen lap-dances in movies that were less erotic than VigilanteGirl's little destruction demonstration.

If this doesn't condemn me to eternal damnation I don't know what would.

Monday, August 16, 2004
posted by dave at 9:58 PM in category daily, ramblings

Today I watched a show about a place. A place that a person used to work.

The show reminded me of the person, and I found myself watching the show (taped years ago) for a glimpse of the person.

The person did not appear on the show, though I'm pretty sure the person worked at the place during the filming.

I'm a little pissed that I couldn't watch the show without thinking about the person.

posted by dave at 9:46 PM in category daily, drink

pull
v. tr.
1. To apply force to, so as to cause or tend to cause motion toward the source of the force.

This past Friday and Saturday I could feel my favorite bar calling to me as I drove home from Louisville.

I was able to resist that calling, telling myself that if I couldn't even spend one weekend away from Rich O's then maybe there was indeed a problem.

Today, on the way home from work, I felt the pull again, and this time I relented.

I stopped and got myself a pizza, and while I was waiting I decided - what the hell - I'd have myself a beer.

What I had was a Robert The Bruce scottish ale. I'd never had this before, but I was definitely intrigued by its scottish name. After my experience with the Pyramid Tilted Kilt ale in June I'm not very likely to pass up any scotch or scottish (I forget the difference) ales anytime soon.

This was really good. If it's still there when I next make a weekend trip to Rich O's I'll definitely be having more. I actually noticed three things that really stood out. First was the reddish color that revealed itself when I held the glass up to the light. Second was the slight gritty feeling that continued until the head had dissipated, and third was the slightly bitter aftertaste - something new to me in my limited experience with this style of ale.

Sunday, August 15, 2004
posted by dave at 9:18 AM in category daily

ME: You didn't show up last night. Nine or ten more times and I'll start to take it personally.

VIGILANTEGIRL: My friend got ran over by a car last night. She's still in intensive care and might not live.

ME (THINKING): Wow, this foot sure tastes terrible.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
posted by dave at 9:11 PM in category daily

VigilanteGirl has invited me to this new club this coming weekend.

I've asked around at work, and nobody has heard of the place. Since the people at work are generally the same age as me - maybe a little younger on average, I'm convinced that I'll be the oldest person at the club.

Hopefully there won't be too much staring and pointing.

Or laughing.

Or screaming.

I need to tell VigilanteGirl that she's taking me waaaaay out of my element, and that she's in charge of keeping me entertained and making sure the night doesn't take a Logan's Run type of turn.

Sunday, August 8, 2004
posted by dave at 8:38 AM in category daily

Last night LaptopGirl was talking with her friend about "This old man that seemed nice but would probably hit on her at some point and gross her out" or something like that.

For a second there I thought she was talking about me but she wasn't.

Or was she?

This stuff is funny to me.

This morning I told VigilanteGirl that I was going to Burger King for breakfast. When I offered to pick something up for her she promised to "love me forever" in a jesting tone.

In my imagination I heard her promise to "love me long time" which would actually be a very different promise - and one that would probably be easier to keep.

posted by dave at 12:09 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

un-com-fort-a-ble
adj.
1. Experiencing physical discomfort.
2. Ill at ease; uneasy.
3. Causing anxiety; disquieting

2. doomed
adj.
1. Marked for certain death.
2. In danger of eternal punishment of hell.
3. Marked by or promising bad fortune.

I didn't even want to go out tonight.

My body seems to be rejecting alcohol. Last weekend I got quite a hangover from three beers - this weekend I got quite a hangover from just two beers. Clearly something inside me is telling me to stay away.

Just as clearly, I'm not listening, though I hope to change that.

Tonight Rich O's was about as dead as I've ever seen it. This may be in part due to the incredible boringness of the beer board. IPA this, ESB that, not the best arrangement for someone with my tastes.

My first attempt at a beer was an NABC Beak's Best. Something was incredibly wrong with this beer. The bitterness was almost eye-watering. I could only take a couple of sips before returning it.

While I had a Diet Coke to calm my stomach back down I talked with LaptopGirl and her friend FLAZNCGuy. Actually I sat feeling uncomfortable while they talked. After a little while I got the idea that a Belgian ale might make me feel better so I had a Mad Bitch.

I was right - this helped a lot. By the time it was gone I was feeling like myself again so I ordered an NABC Tunnel Vision.

I think I've had this before, but I didn't remember much about it.

I liked it. The pale color scared me to death but this beer proves that you can't always judge a book by its cover.

Anyway, at one point we were joined by NotGeorge and CoffeeDude. I welcomed them both as they gave me something to do besides stare at my feet.

A bit of comedy was introduced when a bachelor party showed up at Rich O's. The poor groom had a bowling ball chained to his leg to symbolize his impending nuptials. Even though the ball and chain was cleary done in jest, I thought LaptopGirl had a good point when she said she'd never want to marry anyone that thought of her that way.

Anyway.

I've clearly screwed something up, and I feel like I'm under a microscope - everything I say or do is being noted and analyzed. People are making unwarranted assumptions about me, and while I suppose in some ways that's better than being ignored, it's still not welcome.

This, combined with my body's new behaviour of punishing me for every drink I take, has led me to the following decision.

I need to lay off.

I need, for a short while at least, to stop going out to the bar every weekend night.

This drastic measure would hopefully accomplish two things.

First, it would allow my body the time to heal from whatever the hell is causing alcohol to affect it so much.

Second, it would let me prove to myself and others that things I've been saying are true. I'm tired of being looked at with concern and pity.

I'm fine.

I don't believe in this stuff at all, but an old roommate of mine used to swear by his astrology books, and I remember he'd always tell me how August was my opposition month (I'm a Pisces) and how that opposition would tend to throw one obstacle after another at me. It was up to me to overcome these obstacles.

I'm not sure that "avoiding obstacles" would really count as "overcoming obstacles" but it's the best plan I can think of at the moment. This whole situation sucks and I have nobody to blame but myself.

Saturday, August 7, 2004
posted by dave at 12:54 AM in category daily, drink

mis-in-ter-pret
v.
1. To interpret erroneously; to understand or to explain in a wrong sense.

Apparently I've screwed up.

I wish I hadn't, and I hope the misunderstanding can be resolved.

I thought I was being completely honest and that I was doing all I could to avoid this misunderstanding, but I guess I didn't do a good enough job.

Anyway, today after work I went to The Bank Shot to shoot for a while. This was the first time I'd been there in several months, and I guess it was good to see that not much had changed. I suppose I'll post about my play in the pool 'blog.

I got to Rich O's at around 10:00 and, like it's been lately, the place was filled mostly with strangers.

There were a few people I knew, and I spent some time talking with them while I had my boring beers.

NotGeorge explained to me that I had fucked up.

CoffeeDude assured me that he was doing just fine.

MisunderstoodGirl reported that her sunburn was healing nicely.

I had a Fischer's and a Stone Smoked Porter, and that's it. I'd last eaten at around 4:00 and I didn't feel like I was ready for anymore alcohol.

There were several Russian girls at Rich O's. I was semi-interested for a bit until they started talking about how much they all hated cats.

What kind of person hates cats?

Not the kind of person I want to know.

One of the Russian girls had pretty cool hair though, and I urged MisunderstoodGirl to grow her hair out like that. I doubt she will.

Friday, August 6, 2004
posted by dave at 12:06 AM in category daily

This is the tale of two people who happen to inhabit the same body.

The other day I was driving to the doctor to get my dog bite looked at. Sharing the bridge with me and several other vehicles was DrunkOrStonedAsshole in a little black Neon. This guy was driving at about 30 MPH and was weaving across all three lanes, nearly causing a half-dozen accidents. Once I finally got in front of this jerk I felt safe enough that I called 9-1-1 and reported his ass to the police. I gave his license number, vehicle description, and a basic description of the driver. I told the police that he'd taken the first New Albany exit and just when I told them that, the guy sideswiped another car and just kept going. I hope they caught the guy before someone got seriously hurt.

So that was GoodCitizenDave, defender of the roads. I felt pretty good about my little bit of crimefighting, and I made sure to tell VigilanteGirl that she'd inspired me with her earlier adventure.

Now fast-forward to Thursday, and I'm sitting at a red light.

For 10 minutes.

With no cross-traffic in sight.

The light was obviously broken, but I still tried the old backing up/pulling forward trick several times trying to get the light to notice my truck and change to green.

It didn't work, so I ran the thing.

Of course I made quite sure that it was safe to proceed, but for the rest of the way to work I couldn't help but look in my rearview mirror every three seconds for the flashing lights that knew were inevitable.

The lights never appeared. I seem to have gotten away with my little crime spree, but I'm sure that VigilanteGirl would kick me out of the SuperFriends if she got word of my alter-ego, CommonCriminalDave.

Monday, August 2, 2004
posted by dave at 10:54 AM in category daily

ra-bies
n.
1. An acute, infectious, often fatal viral disease of most warm-blooded animals, especially wolves, cats, and dogs, that attacks the central nervous system and is transmitted by the bite of infected animals.

One of my neighbors has this dog named Dino.

Dino is a very friendly Black Lab that always "helps" me mow my lawn.

By "helps" I mean he follows me around and barks at my mower, and whenever he sees a stick he picks it up and places it directly in front of said mower. If he doesn't see any sticks he'll go into the woods and get some.

That way, see, I'll have to stop and throw the stick to keep from running over it, and Dino (a Black Lab, remember) thinks that thrown sticks are The Greatest Things In The Universe.

Sounds like a pretty smart dog, right?

Maybe, and maybe not.

One of Dino's less brillant activities is to wait for small sticks - those not worth being moved out of the mower's path - to be thrown by the mower blades. When this happens Dino recognizes the sound immediately and rushes out to try to catch these fast-moving little missiles.

So yesterday Dino is helping me mow as usual and the mower kicks up a stick that's about 4" long and 1" thick.

After he caught the stick Dino started making gagging motions. I thought he'd managed to catch a stick in his throat so of course I got off the mower to help him.

Well the stick wasn't in his throat, but it was lodged in his mouth pretty well. One end of the stick had been impaled by a tooth, and the other end was lodged against the roof of his mouth.

It looked quite painful, and there was some blood.

I must have tried for 15 minutes to get that damn stick out of his mouth, but all I accomplished was to make it hurt more.

He didn't really bite me.

All he did was reflexively close his mouth while I just happened to have both thumbs jammed in there trying to get the stick out.

I don't blame him a bit. Hell maybe his fuzzy dog brain thought I was trying to jam the stick in even further.

I gave up on trying to get the thing out myself and called my neighbor. While I was inside putting hydrogen peroxide on my thumbs I guess Dino managed to remove the thing on his own, because when I went back outside to finish mowing he was right there to help some more.

Today I have a lovely bandage on each thumb, but they're more precautionary than medical. I probably won't need them beyond maybe Wednesday.

Sunday, August 1, 2004
posted by dave at 12:00 PM in category daily, entertainment, ramblings

im-pro-pri-e-ty
n.
1. An act of undue intimacy.

un-fit-ting
adj.
1. Not in keeping with what is correct or proper.

pa-thet-ic
adj.
1. Arousing or capable of arousing sympathetic sadness and compassion.
2. Arousing or capable of arousing scornful pity.

Wow what a rambling mess that last entry was.

I just had a couple more thoughts that I thought were worth recording.

LaptopGirl, normally a very outgoing and friendly person, suddenly became quite shy when it came time to ask Screech a question about his old show. It was really quite cute when she said that "we" (she motioned to BigWheelGirl and me) had a question "we'd" been dying to ask.

Also, there was a guy in the back of the room that was some kind of lameass heckler. I'm pretty sure this guy has been at the Comedy Caravan every time I've ever been there. I think he must be on staff and they pay him to heckle the performers.

Also, I really don't like it when comedians use politics or other controversial subjects to get cheap applause or boos. I like it even less when people in the audience reflexively react to these obvious ploys.

This is not the WWE where everyone has to be a heel or a face to be successful. Just tell some damn jokes. Entertainers using their position in the spotlight to push their own agendas make me sick.

Also, and this may have just been because I was sitting in the back seat of a fairly large vehicle, BigWheelGirl's driving really made me nervous. I kept wishing she'd just pick a lane and stay inside it.

Finally, LaptopGirl got a call that was a wrong number or something that evolved into a 15-minute conversation during which I don't think she quite told the stranger on the phone her address or Social Security number.

It was a fun night. A little strange to be out without drinking though.

Add awkward ending here.

posted by dave at 3:40 AM in category daily, entertainment, ramblings

LaptopGirl asked me a couple of hours ago, "What are you going to write about tonight, Dave?"

I sit here now completely unable to answer that question.

Total writers-block.

Not that I'm a real writer or anything.

Well maybe I'll just start rambling and it will all make sense.

Or maybe not.

Tonight we went to a comedy club to see the guy that played Screech on TV years ago.

When I say "we" I mean LaptopGirl and I, but this was not a date. LaptopGirl's friend BigWheelGirl came as well, probably to make sure I didn't get any ideas.

It was kind of fun to watch them interact - I usually only get to see LaptopGirl interacting with regulars at the bar.

So anyway, this was the first time I'd gone to the club in a long time. Several years ago it seemed like I went fairly often with family and friends but that all stopped for various reasons.

There were three performers, and all were pretty funny. The second guy did a Barney Fife impression that was hilarious.

The people sitting at the table in front of us were assholes - talking to each other during the entire show. Why do people pay money to see a show then completely ignore it?

Because that's what assholes do.

LaptopGirl seemed quite determined to get one of the comedians to go to Rich O's, but I think they all thought she was a little too SwimFanish or something and they kind of blew her off.

I didn't drink anything but Diet Coke all night - my hangover was still enough of a presence that even the whiff of beer I got at Rich O's waiting for LaptopGirl to arrive made me ill.

I had fun though.

There.

I guess now the question of what I'll write about tonight has been answered.

And the answer is:

Nothing much.

Saturday, July 31, 2004
posted by dave at 12:21 PM in category daily, drink

e-clec-tic
adj.
1. Selecting or employing individual elements from a variety of sources, systems, or styles.
2. Made up of or combining elements from a variety of sources.

ac-cus-tomed
adj.
1. Frequently practiced, used, or experienced; customary.
2. Being in the habit of.
3. Having been adapted to the existing environment and conditions.

form-fit-ting
adj.
1. Snugly fitting the coutours of the body.

Not much to report tonight. It was a regular Friday night. I had a Great Lakes Anniversary Ale, a Fischer's Amber Ale, and an Alaskan Smoked Porter. All were good, and all were beers I've had before...

...Just not in that particular order.

I've decided to call this particular alcohol combination the TimeBomb.

Last night I was fine for most of the night. I was fine at Rich O's talking with LaptopGirl, TrainGirl and RealTrainGirl, and DooRagGirl's husband and ExBartender. I was fine when MysteryLady and I had a surprise phone conversation while I was on the way home. I was fine once I got home. I was even fine when I started making this entry last night.

But at one point - specifically when I typed the words "and all were beers I'd had before" - The room started spinning. Then the house started spinning, followed in quick succession by the Earth and the entire Milky Way.

I did not get sick.

I just wished that I would.

Now today I've got that lovely dehydrated feeling that can only come from too much alcohol.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004
posted by dave at 9:06 PM in category daily, drink

So yesterday I was bored so I decided to sign up at ratebeer.com.

I then went back through all my old 'blog entries and put all of my beer ratings into the ratebeer site.

I was a little surprised to see that I've already got 59 ratings, and I only need 41 more to qualify for their elite premium membership.

That's when things will turn around for me.

I mean, chicks dig guys who drink a lot of beer, right?

Right?

Sunday, July 25, 2004
posted by dave at 1:51 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

na-ive
adj.
1.
a. Simple and guileless; artless.
b. Unsuspecting or credulous.

per-fec-tion-ism
n.
1. A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.

re-al-is-tic
adj.
1. Tending to or expressing an awareness of things as they really are.

bit-ter
adj.
1. Marked by resentment or cynicism.

des-per-ate
adj.
1. having lost all hope; despairing.
2. Marked by, arising from, or showing despair.
3. Reckless or violent because of despair.
4. Undertaken out of extreme urgency or as a last resort.
5. Nearly hopelessl critical.
6. Suffering or driven by great need or distress.
7. Extremely intense.

Set-tle (for)
v.
1. To accept in spite of incomplete satisfaction.

The words listed above are a timeline of a typical woman's romantic imperatives. This list was verified by a lesbian so it must be correct.

The women my own age are divided between the desperation and settling stages, and neither sounds very appealing.

Moving to progressively younger women I pause briefly at the desperate ones, though most of those are already in a doomed relationship, though they don't know it yet.

Next we find the bitter group.

No thanks.

Finally we come the good ones - the realistic ones.

These are the women that have gotten over their innocent theories about life and romance and have also successfully made it through their search for ThePerfectMan.

The realistic ones are the smallest group. They are also the most sought-after.

This sucks for me, but at least I know it.

I'm in a realistic phase myself.

Friday started out as a waste of time.

I wanted to appear less creepy to LaptopGirl - especially afer last night's ramblings - so I decided to spend at least the first half of the night at Hooter's drinking Newcastle with my cousin Jeff.

There were several things wrong with that plan.

First, Jeff wasn't even at Hooter's. He was at home apparently having a fight with his weedeater.

Second, Hooter's was out of Newcastle.

This pissed me off. The only place in the area where I can get Newcastle on tap and they were out. I ended up having a glass of water with my cold french fries and burnt burger and left pretty disgusted with the whole place.

So instead of getting to Rich O's fashionalbly late I got there a little after 8:00. Again.

Getting there that early in the night presents some challenges. I cannot drink my normal allotment of a couple of strong beers and a few weaker ones. I have to pace myself.

Tonight I chose to drink only strong beers, but to sip them and make them last.

Anyway, when I first arrived Rich O's was dead. I saw ExBartender, but didn't really talk to him. I sat at the island with DooRagGirl's husband for a while and had a couple Great Lakes 15th Anniversary Ales.

Yummy.

Oh yeah, I hadn't been there 10 minutes when LaptopGirl called to tell me that she'd be there at 10:30. This was significant because it meant that I could not allow myself to leave no matter how boring it was.

Once DooRagGirl's husband left I moved to the living room area where I was joined by a couple I didn't know. ProbableLesbian and CluelessSuitor turned out to be pretty good people. ProbableLesbian in particular seemed very nice, and she also helped to pass the time while all the whippersnappers talked about transformers and other things I'm too old to remember.

At one point I had a Fischer's Amber Ale. This was the only French item on Rich O's bottled list. I ordered it because I thought it might be similar to the frenchy beer from the Two Brothers Brewery I'd enjoyed so much in the Spring. Well this wasn't anything like the Two Brothers ale but it was still quite delicious. Had I known then what I know now I would have been drinking this all along.

At around 10:00, a half-hour before LaptopGirl was scheduled to arrive, one of her ex-boyfriends joined us in the living room area. I was a little concerned because I couldn't remember if I was supposed to be mad at him or not. As it turned out everything was fine.

LaptopGirl arrived and was very cute and, because of ExBoyfriend's presence, I became invisible. This was okay, though, because ProbableLesbian and I were able to pass the time by talking about how old the rest of the group made us feel.

MisunderstoodGirl joined us after a while, further lowering the average age of the group.

Wow.

All of a sudden I'm very conscious of the fact that I'm rambling. I need to stop now.

But wait!

On the way home I was quite surprised to see VigilanteGirl still working. I talked with her for a few minutes - being careful to not freak her out again. Once I was satisifed that she was no longer scared of me I was able to go home.

Saturday, July 24, 2004
posted by dave at 11:43 AM in category daily

Something has died in my Monte Carlo.

Because of all the rain I haven't driven it for several weeks, but Friday morning I decided to take drive it to work.

Bad Idea.

There's the faint, but unmistakable, odor of rotting meat coming fom somewhere in the car.

My brief inspection couldn't locate the source. The only real clue is a little bit of seat insulation laying on the floor of the trunk.

Today I will perform a much more detailed inspection.

posted by dave at 3:30 AM in category daily, drink, ramblings

ob-sta-cle
n.
1. That which opposes, stands in the way of, or holds up progress.

hin-drance
n.
1.
a. The act of hindering.
b. The condition of being hindered.
2. That which hinders; an impedenance.

Friday was a strange night. All the way home from Rich O's I tried to figure out what made it so different from all the other nights I've spent there.

I figured it out.

I ended the night in a good mood.

It took me a while to figure this out because it was such an unusual feeling for me.

The night was, despite factors that could have caused stress, quite relaxing.

So anyway, first off I got to Rich O's very early. I'd left home at 7:30 hoping to catch VigilanteGirl at work, but alas she wasn't there so I got to Rich O's well before 8:00.

I did no experimentation with beer, prefering to stick with my regular indulgences. I had two NABC Beak's Bests, an Alaskan Smoked Porter, and a Guiness, in that order.

Keeping me company tonight were LaptopGirl, CoffeeDude, TallLady, and GrammarNazi and her husband.

For most of the night LaptopGirl and I talked about various fluff that I'd rather not broadcast to the world.

That brings up a good point.

I write this thing for myself - not for anyone else.

Because I write for myself I think I should write mostly ABOUT myself and what's going on with me and in my head.

At times, just to keep things in context, I need to mention things that are going on with my friends, but lately I've been feeling a little guilty whenever I do that.

I mean, it's not the world's business that one friend of mine is getting a divorce. It's also not anyone's business that another friend is contemplating a move, or is in trouble at work.

As I get to know these people better I get a desire to protect their privacy that I didn't feel before. Making up nicknames for the people I write about can only go so far, and lately I've felt the need to go a little farther - to be less candid and less specific in my entries.

All of this new secrecy can make for some pretty boring entries I know, but since the only intended audience is myself I'll try to deal with it.

Back to Friday, such as it was.

LaptopGirl and I spent most of the night sitting in the living room area with the other aforementioned regulars. I got a strange vibe from LaptopGirl that was difficult to identify. Once I did identify it I was quite pleasantly surprised.

I mattered to her.

It amazes me how much that little realization meant to me - and how much it still does. I've spent so much time these past several months waiting for the inevitable InvisibityFactor to kick in that to realize that tonight it wouldn't come was like a kick in the teeth.

In a good way though.

At some point during the recent past I seem to have been promoted, in LaptopGirl's mind, from mere acqaintance to friend.

That word, "friend," can often be a bummer. Guys get placed into the "friend zone" and there's no escape - no matter what the guy may actually want.

This time I'm actually okay with it. I'd absolutely rather be in the friend zone than the acqaintance zone. Any higher promotions would be fraught with peril and I know it.

Would it be worth the risk? Perhaps.

Do I expect that opportunity? Not at all. And I'm okay with that.

I'm 39 years old. I've been through a spectacularly failed marriage, and a handful of other serious relationships, none of which have worked out.

This is quite weird to be writing this, but nobody in my life - not my ex-wife, any of my old girlfriends, or any of the women I've had crushes on - have ever occupied my thoughts the way LaptopGirl does.

Something about her just fascinates me, and I catch myself thinking about her several times each day.

Not all of these thoughts are good ones. I've become quite perturbed by the InvisibilityFactor several times. Some of her opinions are so different from my own that I think we must be from different planets. Her not recognizing my voice on the phone last weekend bothered me much more than I'd have thought it would.

It's very strange. I've had crushes before, but they've all had at least some element of hope. In this case I've never had any indication whatsoever that there could ever be the slightest interest in me.

But I don't care.

This fascination, not quite a romantic one, not quite a platonic one, has kept my mind more occupied than it's been for a long long time.

I'm writing this entry on a Friday night - actually early Saturday morning - and I've suddenly become timid. I found out tonight that LaptopGirl has indeed checked out my 'blog, so there's a decent chance that she'll read this entry as well.

Perhaps I should delete it.

Don't want to scare her off after all - to make her think I'm some kind of stalker or something.

But that's the thing; there's nothing to be scared off from. I'm really content with the way things are. I'm not scheming for anything more.

That just blows my mind.

How could I meet such a beautiful and intelligent woman and NOT want more?

Perhaps it's because I've been hurt several times in the past. Perhaps it's things like the InvisibilityFactor. Perhaps I just know better than to try to become involved with someone so different from me.

Perhaps I'm just kidding myself and I don't know what I want at all.

I don't know, but I'll keep enjoying the ride while it lasts.

Sunday, July 18, 2004
posted by dave at 10:08 AM in category daily, drink

On Saturday, for whatever reasons, I found my myself in a mood for the apple taste of a Belgian ale.

My initial attempt to satify this craving was a Great Lakes 15th Anniversary Ale. Yummy, but I still wanted more apples.

The second beer I tried was a Mad Bitch - I'm sure it has a real name but everyone just calls it Mad Bitch.

This was as close to drinking hard cider as I think I could stand. I liked this beer, but at a whopping 10% alcohol I know that one will always be my limit.

Once the Mad Bitch as gone I got a little bored with Rich O's Nobody I knew was there except for ExBartender and he was involved in a loud conversation with some tatooed guy.

I ended up leaving and going to Jillian's of all places.

VigilanteGirl had mentioned earlier that she would go there after work, so I went and had a couple of Newcastles while I waited.

I guess we had a misunderstanding as she didn't show up. Actually as it turns out she was there for a bit but her and her friends didn't stay - they had gone by the time I got there.

Once I left Jillian's I went back to Rich O's, got talked into going to a party, got bored at the party, and went home.

Saturday, July 17, 2004
posted by dave at 1:03 AM in category daily, drink

com-pas-sion
n.
1. Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

fu-til-i-ty
n.
1. The quality of having no useful result; uselessness.
2. Lack of importance or purpose; frivolousness.
3. A futile act.

dis-miss
v.
1. To end the employment or service of; discharge.
2. To stop considering; rid one's minds of; dispel.
3. To refuse to accept or recognize; reject.

Tonight was certainly interesting.

I spent the night talking with LaptopGirl, CoffeeDude, and CoffeeDude's brother.

I had a couple of Guiness pints, and an NABC Beak's Best. The only experimentation I did was to have a SkullSplitter.

It was quite disgusting at first, but after an inch or so it started to taste pretty good. I suspect that my initial disgust was caused by the Beak's Best still coating my mouth. At 8.5% it was too strong for me to risk getting a second opinion.

Tonight I basically tried to be a nice person but apparently failed. Not only was I blown off, I was told that I was being blown off as it was happening. People sitting across the room were like, "Dude, you just got DISSED" and I was like "gee like thanks for letting me know as I am like stupid and would never have noticed otherwise."

They say nice guys finish last.

CoffeeDude did try to stick up for me but it was clearly a lost cause at that point.

Also, it was pretty cool that LaptopGirl took one look at this stranger at Rich O's and guessed that he was CoffeeDude's brother, and it turned out she was right.

Sunday, July 11, 2004
posted by dave at 3:16 PM in category daily, drink

group-ie
n. Slang
1. A fan, especially a young woman, who follows a rock group around on tours.

Saturday night was much like Friday. It seems that most of the regulars were in attendance at one time or another and I spent the night in the living room area talking about various topics ranging from my quiet demeanor to the severe lack of attractive, single, straight women at Rich O's.

I had the same beers I had on Friday, in probably the same order.

What a wild-man I am.

As I left I spotted LaptopGirl sitting in her car so I said hello and left before I got drafted into chauferring her and her new boyfriend someplace.

Saturday, July 10, 2004
posted by dave at 3:08 PM in category daily, drink

ex-ot-ic
adj.
1. From another part of the world; foreign.
2. Intriguingly unusual or different; excitingly strange.

I'm having a tough time thinking of anything to write about Friday. Everyone was at Rich O's and there were a lot of interesting conversations, but nothing really sticks in my mind...

...EXCEPT the presence of FilleFrancaiseSexy who was there with CanadianGirl and her entourgage from work.

I heartily recommend that CanadianGirl bring more sexy French girls to Rich O's. They're just what the place has been missing.

For the beer part of this report the only experimenting I did was to order a Great Lakes 15th Anniversary Ale. This is a Belgian Ale, and it had all of the appleness that I've come to expect from Belgians, but this beer had a lot of other characteristics that I cannot even begin to describe. It was one of the most complex beers I've ever had.

I liked it, and so now the Great Lakes Brewery is about 5-for-5 when it comes to making a beer that I like.

Other than that I had a few of my regulars; NABC Beak's Best, Arcadia Scotch Ale, and Alaskan Smoked Porter.

Thursday, July 8, 2004
posted by dave at 5:08 PM in category daily

Got the bill for my truck repairs today.

It cost me four-hundred for a new radiator (which I needed) and another three-hundred for a new timing belt (for which replacement was way overdue) so it was like, eleventy-zillion or so total.

Today's the first time I've been broke since I refinanced my mortgage and got all that lovely money back in the Spring. Being broke sucks.

Monday, July 5, 2004
posted by dave at 10:47 PM in category daily

There's a saying - at least I think there is, maybe I just made it up - that bad things come in threes.

As I type this I'm waiting for the trifecta to complete.

First, I'm relocated to the worst position possible at work. Then on Saturday my truck developed a radiator leak.

Now, as I type this, something in my computer is making an awful racket. I can hope that it's just one of the cooling fans, but I fear that it's one of my disk drives.

If it is a disk I hope it will hold out until I can buy a replacement and transfer all of my files.

Sunday, July 4, 2004
posted by dave at 12:16 AM in category daily, drink

as-i-nine
adj.
1. Utterly stupid or silly; asinine behavior.
2. Of, relating to, or resembling as ass.

First off, Friday night.

I had a pint of the Arcadia Scotch Ale, which I like more and more each time I drink it. What happened next was NOT the beer's fault. About halfway through I started feeling a little queasy. By the time I finished my pint I wasn't feeling very good at all so I left. I have since figured out the reason for my little anxiety attack, and it's nobody's business but mine. So there.

Anyway, once home I felt a little better. I had a bottle of Stone Smoked Porter while I watched a movie. It was pretty good beer actually, not as strong of a smoke flavor as some of the other smoked porters I've had, but enough to be recognizable, and enough to be pretty good.

On Saturday, I resolved to be in a better mood.

The night started out pretty well. VigilanteGirl was very fired up about the adventure she'd just had. She'd chased down some gas thieves and got their license number for the cops. She was VERY fired up, and her enthusiasm was quite contagious. I arrived at Rich O's in a very good mood. Ahhh, youth.

My mood was quickly diminished by what has to have been to most fucked up conversation I've ever heard. Now I want to be clear that I consider these people to be my friends, and that hasn't changed, but when people start talking about how cool Nazi's are and how, even if they're not cool, America is no different than the Nazis, I have to either bite my tongue or go off on someone.

I chose to bite my tongue. People like that are, I've found, not very receptive to conflicting views, and like I said, these people were my friends.

After a while I moved over to the island area and spent a good couple of hours talking with CoffeeDude about a lot of things.

Oh yeah, beer. While all the stupidity was going on I had an Arcadia. Once I'd moved to the island I switched to NABC Beak's Best.

I was able, via my conversation with CoffeeDude, to turn my mood back to a positive one.

Thanks, CoffeeDude.

Sunday, June 27, 2004
posted by dave at 12:21 AM in category daily, drink

wan-ton
adj.
1. Immoral or unchaste; lewd.
2. Gratuitously cruel; merciless.
3. Unrestrainedly excessive: wanton extravagance; wanton depletion of oil reserves.
4. Luxuriant; overabundant: wanton tresses.
5. Frolicsome; playful.
6. Undisciplined; spoiled.

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.

I kind of like this word of the day thing I've been doing in my 'blog. It really cuts down on the creative pressure.

Anyway, tonight several of the regulars were at Rich O's. Let's see, there was CoffeeDude, the dude from last night, LaptopGirl, MisunderstoodGirl, TrainGirl and RealTrainGirl, plus a couple of others that don't warrant special mention - except that one of them had a really hot girl in tow.

I had a pint of the Arcadia Ale, which was quite good. No, really, I liked it a lot. It's just too strong to safely have more than one.

Next I had a pint of SwithWick's (apparently the "W" is silent) and I liked it but after the Arcadia it tasted a little bland.

My next beer was a 2003 Alaskan Smoked Porter, and my last was a half-pint of NABC's Beak's Best ESB.

There were several conversations, but I don't feel like relaying any of them.

Just about the only thing I will point out, to those people reading this for social advice, is that every time a massage is given, at least one of the two people involved is having sexual thoughts about the other person. Perhaps some of you people should remember that the next time you decide to get rubbed down in a public place. For an hour and a half.

Saturday, June 26, 2004
posted by dave at 3:08 AM in category daily, entertainment, ramblings

su-per-flu-ous
adj.
1. Being beyond what is required or sufficient.
2. Extra, spare.

First of all I cheated.

I went to Rich O's on Wednesday to get a pizza and was delighted to see that they had Smithwick's beer on tap. So I had one while I waited for my food to arrive. I didn't make a Wednesday Beer Report because the one is all I had.

Tonight I went back to have some more, and also to try another Scotch Ale they had on tap whose name I can't remember. Arcadia or something similar.

Anyway, I arrived at Rich O's, ordered a pint of Smithwick's, and sat in the living room area with LaptopGirl, some dude I didn't know, and BossyBitch and her husband.

The Smithwick's is a pretty good beer, though the watery/peaty characteristic I detected in Las Vegas seemed to be pretty elusive tonight.

After my first pint, I ordered a half-pint of the Cicada or whatever. I liked this beer, but I could tell immediately that it had at least twice the alcohol content of anything I felt like drinking.

Now this is the part of the report where I need to be careful what I write.

What followed was not the best night of my life.

LaptopGirl had been talking on and on about some band that I'd never heard of that was putting on a free concert in Louisville. Apparently someone had stood her up and now she was looking for someone to go with. She hinted pretty strongly to several people - none seemed interested - and finally asked the dude I didn't know to go with her. He agreed.

At some point - and I really don't know how this happened - it was decided that I'd go and do the driving. Right after agreeing to this I knew it was a bad idea, but I'd already said yes. I took the other guy aside and told him that I had no interest in being a third wheel and that he should feel free to tell me to butt the hell out. He assured me that there was nothing going on and that I was quite welcome to join them. What a dick.

Again, I have to be careful here. I don't know who reads this thing.

We went to see this band and arrived in time to hear two or three songs. The music I could live without but the bass player was fantastic.

Once the mini-concert was over I thought we'd be heading back to Rich O's.

Wrong.

The next four hours were pretty much the opposite of fun for me. I became invisible yet I couldn't leave because I was their ride. I didn't feel like I had a say in any decision as to what to do next. I was at the mercy of these two people who seemed much more interested in being out (and, dare I say, in each other, though I don't believe that interest was a romantic one) than in whether or not I was having a good time.

All I wanted to do was get back to Rich O's and salvage a normal Friday night, or failing that, to just get home.

After several aborted attempts to do something near the concert site we eventually ended up at some bar in Louisville where LaptopGirl and the guy had a couple of beers and I had one because LaptopGirl was buying and I really wanted to at least pretend like I was enjoying myself.

I spent the entire night feeling like I'd gone on a double-date but my own date had stood me up.

Two things kept the night from being a complete waste for me.

First, earlier at Rich O's BossyBitch had decided to try to lord it over LaptopGirl and they got into a little argument. Going to see the band and then to the bar helped LaptopGirl's mood immensely and I'm always glad to see her smile light up her face.

Second, after the concert we were walking with the crowd and I heard my name called out. My friend Eric and his wife had attended the same show. That was pretty cool - I go someplace I'd never normally go and run into one of my oldest friends.

Eventually my passengers decided that it was indeed time to return to New Albany. Rich O's was of course closed by then so I just came home.

On most occasions when I become invisble I can, and will, simply leave. Tonight I couldn't do that. I had to endure it for hours, and I'm quite sure that my displeasure was readily apparent to LaptopGirl and even to the guy I'd just met.

Hell, at one point I almost started babbling about things that I've managed to leave unsaid for months. Due in large part I'm sure to the overall lack of beer I'd had I was able to shut myself up before everyone got as uncomfortable as I was.

They both made several joking comments about how I would never want to hang out with them again. The unspoken part of those comments was the part where it'd be a cold day in hell before they'd ever invite me again.

Oh yeah, Note To Self: Try to not piss LaptopGirl off. She called the friend that had stood her up and pretty much went ballistic on him.

Another Note To Self: Do not, you dumbass, ever discuss anything remotely political with LaptopGirl again. She's too passionate about her beliefs and you'll end up, once again, being treated like you're the cause of all the world's problems simply because you don't share all those beliefs.

Monday, June 21, 2004
posted by dave at 11:02 PM in category daily, entertainment, travel

Owah Tagee Kiyam.

Last week I was in Las Vegas for an IT storage conference. I attended the same conference at the same time last year.

During last year's trip I also did something that I thought was so cool I just had to share it.

The problem was that none of my friends or family would think it was cool at all.

They would think I was a geek.

So instead of telling people in person what I'd done I decided to start a weblog, and make my account of that experience the first entry.

Well one thing led to another and that entry never got made. My 'blog didn't get started until the Fall.

I will correct this injustice now, for that cool thing I did last year, I did it again last Thursday.

The cool thing I did was to shell out $29.95 for the main attraction at the Las Vegas Hilton - The Star Trek Experience.

Yes that's right. The Star Trek Experience.

Actually this year they'd added a second experience so I got to see something new as well as relive what I'd done the year before.

There's only one problem. Besides, I mean, the obvious social conclusions one might draw from reading about a person attending anything with "Star Trek" in the title.

Aside from that 900-pound gorilla named "Nerd" that everyone notices but pretends isn't there.

I was bored. What had been to exciting and new a year ago, this year for me at least, revealed itself to be what I should have known all along.

A geek festival.

The simulated motion parts of the attractions were very cool indeed, but they were so wrapped up in cheesy sets and wooden lines that even the actors couldn't take it seriously.

And forget about us tourists. We all seemed, for those 18 minutes or so, to finally understand how the rest of the world views us Star Trek fans.

Just about the way we ourselves view the Buffy fans.

Actually, "The Buffy Experience" sounds intriguing.

Mmmmm, Sarah Michelle Gellar.

But I ramble.

Sunday, June 20, 2004
posted by dave at 2:37 AM in category daily, drink

I didn't expect much to happen tonight.

I went to Rich O's after my family reunion, and ran into ElPresidente and his wife. We spent a couple of hours talking about the recent storms and just passing the time.

After a while LaptopGirl surprised me by coming in. I'd seen InfatuatedGuy earlier but LaptopGirl had indicated that she wouldn't be in on Saturday.

Anyway, while talking with the FirstCouple I had an NABC Beak's Best and a 2003 Alaskan Smoked Porter. Once they left I moved to the living room with NotGeorge and sat with LaptopGirl and InfatuatedGuy.

Though I had been planning to leave after my smoked porter, LaptopGirl's appearance changed all that. I ended up having a couple half-pint's of Rogue's Dead Guy Ale. I really liked this stuff, which was weird because Rogue's beers are usually too over-the-top for me. This was a mild ale that tasted quite good and didn't seem too high in alcohol.

To close out the night I had one of the Sprecher Cream Sodas.

For the second night in a row I closed out Rich O's with LaptopGirl. Tonight we didn't go to the other bar. This was probably a good thing, as my blood-alcolol content was undoubtedly eating away at my sense of restraint.

posted by dave at 2:01 AM in category daily, family

Today marked my annual family reunion, celebrated in June each year, at least since 2001 or so, and held at my sister Dina's house.

I wish I could sit here and write about how fantastic these get-togethers are, but I can't.

For the most part we all just sat around talking about various fluff. We also played a couple of games of horseshoes.

I'm glad that Dina has started holding these things. I just wish people would take them more seriously. Several of our cousins didn't make it, again, and I can't help but wonder what happend to the old days when family - even extended ones - were important to everyone.

Not that I'm perfect when it comes to family appreciation. Far from it. The annual reunion of my mother's side of the family has become more of a nuisance than an event I look forward to.

Anyway, I'm rambling here, so I'll stop.

Saturday, June 19, 2004
posted by dave at 4:46 AM in category daily, drink

Tonight marked the seventh night in a row that I went out drinking.

This is rare for me, but being in Las Vegas is also rare, so everything works out.

Tonight, back home in Indiana, I of course went to Rich O's. I went even though I was still hungover from the previous night. I went even though the last thing my body needed was more alcohol. I went because it's what I do on the weekends. To stay home would have been to surrender to the forces of boringness that I've been fighting for a decade.

So I went.

And I'm glad I did.

My beer selection last night remained pretty tame. I had a couple of pints of NABC's Community Dark, an ale that's only good when I'm hungover and when it's the first beer of the night.

Near the end of the evening I had one of NABC's Beaks Best ESBs.

The story of last night was not, however, about the beer I had. It was about getting back into my groove and leaving the Las Vegas mindset behind.

It was also about getting to see LaptopGirl, who was a real sight for sore eyes after spending a week in Silicon Valley.

I spent most of the night talking with LaptopGirl and ExBartender about nothing in particular. ExBartender can be a little abrasive when he's been drinking, but LaptopGirl didn't object so I just minded my own business.

Once Rich O's closed LaptopGirl and I went to Jack's where, for the first time ever, I did not become invisible. Hard to believe, but for one night I was the most interesting person around.

Thursday, June 17, 2004
posted by dave at 2:48 AM in category daily, entertainment, travel

Tonight, continuing my quest to eventually see every big show that Las Vegas has to offer, I went to see "Mystere" at Treasure Island.

Wow. How cool can a show be?

Everyone from the clown to the strength guys to especially the "baby girl" was just awesome.

I have to give a nod to "O" for the best show I saw this week, but that's mainly because of the set. For sheer performances and awesome stunts I have to say the "Mystere" is the best I've ever seen.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004
posted by dave at 2:42 AM in category daily, entertainment, travel

Tonight I went to see the Penn & Teller show at the Rio.

I was really looking forward to this show, but I found myself bored to tears.

Part of my boredom was no doubt caused by the stark contrast between the "O" performance I saw last night and this rather tame show, but the main reason I was bored was simply because it was a boring show.

Penn basically told a bunch of stupid jokes, then would continue to ramble on for what seemed like hours, then they would both do a trick.

Repeat five times.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Monday, June 14, 2004
posted by dave at 2:27 AM in category daily, entertainment, travel

Tonight I went to see "O" at the Bellagio.

The show itself was a bit overwhelming, but when I decided to focus on whatever the current main attraction was I really enjoyed it.

I mean it was really really cool.

The contortionists grossed me out a little though.

Also, one of the zebra girls had such a nice ass that it was distracting me from the rest of the show.

posted by dave at 2:24 AM in category daily, travel

This burning question has finally been answered.

I can go to a depth of 282 feet below sea level without getting wet.

Today I rented a car and drove to Death Valley from Las Vegas. I'd planned to also check out the Hoover dam but the Death Valley trip took up way too much time.

I thought being at the lowest point in the Western Hemisphere was very cool, but I like that kind of stuff.

posted by dave at 2:18 AM in category daily, drink, travel

Just a quick report on the beer I've been drinking here in Las Vegas.

My bar of choice is The Tilted Kilt here at the Rio. They have 24 draft beers, and only a half-dozen or so are piss.

My favorite discovery here, by far, is Tilted Kilt Ale by Pyramid. I think the name is just a coincidence. This scottish ale is just flat-out good.

On Saturday I tried a Boddington's. I'd heard some good things about this, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. This was water with a couple of drops of beer flavoring added. It reminded me of the Abita Amber I tried several months ago. I only drank about an inch from the glass.

On Sunday I started out with another Tilted Kilt. I also sampled a John Courage Amber, which had an applely taste that I didn't find disgusting but I didn't like it enought to have a full pint.

I also, on the bartender's recommendation, tried a Smithwick's. This beer was intriguing enough for me to order a full glass. There was a slight watery taste that at first turned me off, but after a few sips I started to imagine, believe it or not, a slight peaty characteristic to the water. I won't go so far as to say that I liked the Smithwick's, but I so think I'll try it again this week before I leave Las Vegas.

Sunday, June 6, 2004
posted by dave at 12:33 AM in category daily, drink

I'm typing this after returning home from Rich O's on Saturday night. For this reason it may be full of spelling errors and/or other problems.

I don't care. I just want to get the thing typed so I can watch a movie.

This weekend started out early as far as beer was concerned.

At lunchtime on Friday we had a little farewell luncheon for my old boss who is leaving for a new job.

We had this luncheon at Brownings in Louisville.

I've never been a big fan of Eileen's brews. I'm sure she's great and everything but I just have never been impressed with anything she's put out.

MysteryLady really liked the Stout, though I found it watery.

Everything at Brownings is either too watery or too bitter for my taste.

On Friday I first had an "Unfiltered Rye" that tasted bad. I then tries an "ESB" that was so bad I could only have an inch out of the glass. Finally I had a "Nut Brown Ale" that was decent. I've had that before and as brown ales go it was watery but at least drinkable.

On Friday night I went to Rich O's and started out with a new beer from NABC who's name escapes me. I didn't like it very much.

I then had a Beak's Best, returned after a several-week absence, and enjoyed that a lot. To end the night I had a couple of Alaskan Smoked Porters.

When I got home I realized that I'd had way too much to drink. It was one of those nights where I wished I'd just get sick but I didn't.

On Saturday all I had were a couple of Beak's Best pints. I spent some time talking with NotGeorge who is at least as much of a pervert as I am so I no longer feel the need to convert to Catholicism just so I can confess my impure thoughts.

I didn't get to see LaptopGirl all weekend. It feels like such a waste.

Plus I'll be in Las Vegas next weekend so I won't get to see her for at least two weeks.

It's a good thing I've gotten over my crush or I'd really miss LaptopGirl.

Monday, May 31, 2004
posted by dave at 8:59 AM in category daily, weather

On Friday and Saturday many people in the Edwardsville area spent their days clearing fallen trees and limbs from the Thursday tornado(es).

On Sunday tornadoes came again, and they hit a lot of the same places. Talk about adding insult to injury.

The church across the street from where I grew up had its driveway completely blocked. Again.

The old house where my grandmother used to live had some serious tree damage. Again. This time a tree split in half and part of it actually hit the house.

The owners of Polly's Freeze, next door to my grandmother's old house, lost trees. Again.

The Sunday storm seemed to pass behind the church, continuing on to the road where my cousin Jeff lives. Many trees were taken out along that road. Again.

Another thing I saw was that the little red shed, the shed I'd built when I lived in the double-wide after I'd first moved back to Edwardsville, had been destroyed by a toppled tree.

My own street was once again pretty much spared. Once again my power stayed on throughout the day and night.

On Sunday evening the "real" storm line was scheduled to pass through the area, and the shit was really supposed to hit the fan.

As far as I can tell somebody forgot to tell the storm about that plan. All it did was rain at my house. My cousin Jeff, feeling a little rattled after tornadoes had passed over his house and tore down his road twice in a four-day period, came over to my house and we sat in my basement watching the weather reports.

After the afternoon's excitement the nighttime storm was a real letdown.

I may be the only person who feels this way though. Normal people were probably relieved.

posted by dave at 8:35 AM in category daily, drink

Just a quick report about Saturday.

I had a Frenchy beer and two Alaskan Smoked Porters while talking with LaptopGirl and some guy that's clearly in the early stages of infatuation with her.

LaptopGirl looked very good. I think the new job has helped her a lot. She smiles more now.

I told you it would be a quick report.

Saturday, May 29, 2004
posted by dave at 2:08 PM in category daily, drink

I actually went to Rich O's twice last night.

The first time was around 8:00. I had just, litterally out of the blue, lost power to my house, and so I went out earlier than is usual for me.

When I got to Rich O's I made a quick survey of the parking lot - LaptopGirl's car was not there. I went in anyway and almost immediately turned around. DisgustingMakeoutCouple had decided to put on one of their little shows on the couch.

So I came back home for a while (power was back on) and then returned to Rich O's at 10:00 PM.

There was nobody there except a couple of the professional beer drinkers. I ended up sitting at the bar where I had a Frenchy beer and an Alaskan Smoked Porter.

A pretty boring night.

Friday, May 28, 2004
posted by dave at 11:18 AM in category daily, weather

For most of my life I've been fascinated by severe weather.

Ever since my father took me out storm watching when I was five years old I've looked forward to the Spring and Summer storm seasons so I could enjoy the thunder and lightning and even hope for a glimpse of a tornado.

In my 39 years of life I've never seen a tornado, but I've come pretty close a couple of times.

Thursday night may have been the closest yet. It was certainly one of the worst storms I've experienced.

My night began when I was awakened from my after-work nap by the rumblings of thunder. It's been pretty stormy here for the last couple of nights, but nothing spectacular has occurred. I turned on the TV to see what the radar looked like.

All hell was breaking loose. A tornado warning was in effect for Washington County, where my sister Neisha lives. A huge blob of red covered most of Southern Indiana and all of the local stations had interrupted their regular programming for what would turn out to be several solid hours of severe weather warnings.

I tried to call Neisha, but there was no answer. I wasn't very concerned because by that point I'd heard that the confirmed tornado had passed several miles south of where she lives. She called me back a little later, as excited about the weather as I was, and told me that they'd be leaving their mobile home to take shelter at a neighbor's house if things got bad again.

I moved to my basement to play some pool and keep an eye and ear on the weather reports. For a while, though I heard lots of rumbling, the radar showed everything to be staying to the north of Floyd County.

All of that changed pretty rapidly though. A new red blob formed in Washington County, and this one was moving to the Southeast, towards Floyd. I called my other sister Dina, who lives in the Northwest corner of Floyd County, to make sure she was aware of the situation. They were keeping an eye on things as well. Dina told me that my grandmother was "freaked out" and that I should be sure to check on her. While I was talking with Dina the hail started hitting her house. I had a few minutes before the edge of the storm would make it to my location so I told Dina I was going out to watch and hung up.

Just as I hung up the weatherman said they'd just had an unconfirmed report of a tornado touching down in Georgetown Indiana. This was interesting to me for a couple of reasons. First, the red blob was still many minutes away from Georgetown, and second, it's where I live. Specifically I live about five miles directly East of that town.

Being the dumbass that I am, I ran upstairs and out my front door to see what I could see. I've always figured that if I'm going to be killed by a tornado I at least want to see the damn thing first.

Anyway, I was standing in the little stone alcove surrounding my front door and wishing that I had a better view to the West. From what I COULD see it looked like a regular storm - the clouds weren't even very scary looking.

The trees were swaying and the thunder was rumbling. I then noticed that the approximately 874,354,468,462 cicadas that had invaded my area lately had gone silent.

That was my first sign that something unusual was going on.

The second sign was this: Every single leaf and twig and branch that was laying in my yard, courtesy of the storms of the previous night, suddenly picked up and flew off to the south. I barely had time to ponder this development when every single one of them came back and dropped onto the ground again.

This Triumphant Return Of The Twigs was accompanied by the strongest winds I've seen in a very long time. I still cannot believe I didn't lose any trees, or that my new roof didn't lose any shingles.

At about this time I had a fairly startling realization. The "thunder rumbling" I'd been hearing was not thunder at all. It was far too steady a sound for that. What I was hearing was the locomotive sound you always hear associated with tornadoes. It hadn't clicked in my mind earlier because it was much softer than I would have expected.

Upon making this leap of logic I became scared of the weather for only the second time in my adult life. Still being a dumbass, however, I did not run back into my basement, stick my thumb in my mouth, and sit rocking back and forth in a corner. Instead I stepped out of my semi-protective alcove and looked to the South - where all the rumbling was coming from.

While the clouds to the west had seemed fairly tame the view to the South revealed a completely different story. It looked as if some painter had gone insane and slung gray and green and black paint across the sky in some fit of artistic rage.

There could have been a tornado hidden in that jumble of clouds. Hell there could have been ten of the things and I wouldn't be surprised at all. Actually a tornado might have been a welcomed sight - it would have helped to infuse some sense into that sky.

By the time this leading edge of the storm had passed things actually calmed down pretty quickly. Very hard rain, strong wind gusts, flickering lights. These things are common during the Spring and Summer.

For some reason I still had power, so I talked to Dina again on the phone. Neisha's phone went unanswered but she'd already told me they were going to a neighbor's house.

I called my grandmother who, as I suspected, was not "freaking out" at all, but was instead relying on her telephone to keep her informed of the weather situation because her power was out.

Based on what I'd seen outside, along with what I'd been hearing on the television, I was now convinced that a tornado had passed just to the south of me. I hopped into my truck and went out to survey the destruction. I also grabbed some candles to deliver my grandmother.

I didn't really see any major damage during my brief expedition. It was just too dark. My street was the only one I saw that still had power. All traffic lights were out. All street lights were out. Everything was dark except for the lightning and the headlights of other cars.

I never did make it to my grandmother's house. I tried four different routes and all were blocked - two by fallen trees, one by a downed power line, and one by a car that had gone into a ditch and then been t-boned by a truck.

At this last scene I called my grandmother again and told her my situation. She was fine. A neighbor had checked on her and she had candles. I also called Dina and let her know I'd be on my cell phone for a while if she needed to contact me.

Once I and several others helped to clear the accident I moved down Yenowine lane further. I was less than a mile from my grandmother's house and I saw that I would get no further. The roadway had become a river, and even in my truck I wasn't going to try to cross that thing.

Still wanting to assess the situation I made my way through the dark and debris-littered streets to my cousin Jeff's house. Actually I made it as far as his driveway and that's it. One and perhaps several large trees were laying across the drive. I parked at his neighbor's house and made my way across the muck to his house. He was fine as well, just pissed about the fallen trees that he'd have to deal with in the morning.

So I went back home. I still had power. I played some more pool and continued to watch the weather alerts on the television. Once the situation had moved to the East I went to sleep.

At about 5:00 AM my power went out for about 10 seconds, then came back.

Sunday, May 23, 2004
posted by dave at 7:59 PM in category daily

With my roof work completed, my painting work nearly completed, and my hallway painting done, I've been thinking about all the other shit I'd like to get done this summer. What will probably actually happen is that I'll do a couple of these things then this JoeHomeowner side of my personality will get tired and leave.

1. Paint foyer. I've already got the paint and the primer, I just need to get off my ass and do it.

2. Landscaping. This will be a huge job if I end up doing what I'm envisioning now.

3. Foyer and Kitchen floors. This is kind of on hold because I need to check out some walls to see if they're load-bearing or not.

4. Kitchen/Dining room paint. I've got to get that hideous wallpaper and paneling down and I need to do it whether number #3 above gets done or not.

5. Replace carpet. This will not get done as I've blown the carpeting budget on important things like my new 65" television.

6. Driveway repair and extension. I've got an estimate of $2300 for getting this done. I haven't decided yet.

7. Bathroom merger. I'd really like to merge two adjacent bathrooms into a single large room, but this project will also involve knocking out a wall and I'm pretty paranoid about that. It would also cost a lot to get new fixtures and shit.

8. Garage work area. All this stuff I've done in the garage lately, along with all the new tools I've bought, has got me to thinking about extending the workbench into a full-fledged woodshop. At least that I could do with cheap materials, a little at a time.

9. More painting. My living room, bedroom, guest room, and the entire basement are currently the worst and/or most boring colors ever put to roller. I need to do something about it, but I don't know what just yet.

10. My guest bathroom. The world's worst wallpaper adorns this small room. I must do something about it, but I've been putting it off because I'd also like to have the toilet moved and put in a shower. Once this is done I can seriously think about item #7 above.

11. More kitchen shit. The cabinets and especially the countertops shout 1980s. The look of the kitchen and dining area needs to be updated. An expensive proposition though.

12. Stonework repairs. I've tried several times to get somebody to the house to give me an estimate on repairing some loose stones. I think I'll have to figure it out for myself.

13. Do something about the deck. My old deck is really clashing with the newly-patined house. I need to clean it then either paint or stain it. There are also some boards that could use replacement.

14. Replace skylight trim that I tore out when I painted the openings.

15. Do something about the leaning basketball goal.

16. Tear down the playhouse. Or maybe just get somebody to come and take it away.

17. Massive cleanup. I have enough empty boxes to build a hobo jungle. Instead I should rent a dumpster and get rid of them along with the broken appliances and the world's ugliest loveseat that I've been keeping around for some stupid reason.

18. Replace the ugly lighting. Each ceiling fixture in my house is competing with all the other fixtures for the title of Ugliest Thing in the Universe. So far the monstrousity in the dining room is the odds-on favorite, but the beast in the foyer isn't far behind, and the flowered shade in the bedroom can't be ignored just because it's out of the public eye.

19. Fix the gutters. Some of them don't slope enough, and there are some seams that are leaking.

20. Move the outside heat pump. This is too close to the house. In the winter dripping water (see #19 above) causes ice to build up and jam the unit's fan.

21. Fix or cover up the demolition work I did in the basement when I got my pool table.

22. A very long-term project. I'd like to put a nice bar area in the basement.

23. A front porch would be nice as long as I'm thinking big.

I'm sure there's more, but this list is already long enough to keep me busy for the next 273 years.

posted by dave at 3:05 PM in category daily

After a week of cussing, pounding, cutting, and lifting I've finally finished my siding project.

Special thanks go to my sister Dina's fiance Kenny and to my old friend Eric. I couldn't have done it without you guys.

Once my friend Dan "Holy Shit" Kruer and his crew prime and paint the new trim I don't think it will look too bad.

posted by dave at 2:56 PM in category daily, drink

Kind of a boring weekend at Rich O's. There were no LaptopGirl sightings, and most of the other people I know there were also missing.

On Friday I just had a couple of the Upland Winter Warmers. This weird guy kept bugging me with inane questions, plus there was a dead old lady sitting across from me. I left after just the two beers.

On Saturday things started out a little more interesting. MisunderstoodGirl actually sat with me at the bar and actually initiated a conversation. Perhaps I was just being paranoid about her being pissed at me for some unknown reason. A more likely scenario is that TallLady, who I talked with at last weekend's party, relayed to MisunderstoodGirl that I was detecting some animosity from her.

Anyway, I wasn't really in the mood for anything heavy when I first got to Rich O's. I'd been working on my siding all day and my sunburned skin needed something a little less drying.

What I had was one of those Frenchy Two Brothers beers, then another one. I cannot stress enough how much I like this beer.

After my second Frenchy beer I was feeling a little cooler so I tried a Belhaven Scottish Ale. This came in a can (with one of those foaming widget thingies) and I liked it a lot too. It was a lot creamier than the Scotch Ale I'd had in Omaha last month. The beer had a lot of shit floating in it. Shit that, by the time I got down to the last inch or so of the glass, was starting to creep me out. Instead of getting a spoon for that last inch I pushed it aside and had myself a Winter Warmer.

One other item of note was that CreepyGuy was there with some of his CreepyPosse. CreepyGuy had a black eye and a Band-Aid on his face. He must have creeped someone out to the point of violence. Whatever happened, I'm sure he deserved it.

Thursday, May 20, 2004
posted by dave at 12:00 PM in category daily, travel

This should probably be in the work category but going to Las Vegas, no matter what the context, is definitely more fun than work as far as I'm concerned.

Yes, I get to spend a week in the Jewel of the Desert in June.

Yippee!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2004
posted by dave at 7:21 PM in category daily, work

At a meeting today that I didn't attend because I had too much real work to do I won an award for my help in a recent server upgrade project.

While I was quite happy to win the award, I nearly creamed when I learned that with the award came an extra $250 in my next paycheck.

Hooray! Now I can fill my truck up with gas! Maybe.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004
posted by dave at 11:49 PM in category daily

Been a little busy the last few days. I'll just post one entry instead of the several that I probably should have posted.

I wasted the last two days of my vacation. There was no painting and no siding work done because of the rain.

Friday night I spent most of the night at Rich O's talking with DooRagGirl's husband. Seems like a pretty cool guy when you consider he's married to a supermodel. LaptopGirl was there but she had one of her interesting friends in tow so she didn't see me.

Saturday night I went to a party at TrainGirl and RealTrainGirl's house. I had fun although I didn't know very many people. I got to meet PrettyHairGirl who filled me with hope by having a geek for a boyfriend.

Sunday I ran into LaptopGirl at a lame beer memorabilia sale. I was in a hurry to leave so I didn't get to meet the loser she was with.

Also on Sunday I started my siding project, and fixed my mailbox door that had been broken for over a year. All it took was a cordless drill and some titanium bits.

Monday and Tuesday the painters started applying primer to the house. I think I'll like the color though it's lighter than I was picturing.

On Monday I found out that my old boss is leaving his job. Kind of weird. This, along with the recent terminations, cannot help but remind me of the sinking ship I stayed with in Seattle until it was nearly too late.

Tuesday night I completed more of the siding but had to stop when I realized that (a) I'm a dumbass that forgot to buy the right nails, and (b) I'm a dumbass that nailed the trim up wrong so it has to be redone.

Over the last few days I've spent about a thousand dollars on various power tools to help with the siding replacement. Hopefully I'll be able to make use of these tools for other projects as well.

The cicadas are getting ridiculous.

Thursday, May 13, 2004
posted by dave at 10:58 AM in category daily, drink

Last night I figured that as long as I was using up my vacation days I'd try to make the most of a bad situation and so I went to Rich O's.

Also, LaptopGirl started her new job today and I wanted to see how that went.

Rich O's was fairly crowded - I'd heard that Wednesdays were popular - but I got a seat at the Island with RealTrainGirl and Matt-Josh-Willy Whatever (turns out one of my guesses is right) and ordered an Upland Winter Warmer. I also had an Alaskan Smoked Porter put on ice for later.

The Upland beer is becoming one of my favorites. This of course means that it wil be going away soon.

After a little while LaptopGirl showed up (HOT!) and she was pretty excited about her new job. I'm hopeful that the stress she felt at her old job is a thing of the past.

RealTrainGirl is having a party this weekend, and I may actually go if I don't have to work Sunday morning. They'll have a keg of NABC Solidarity which is really good, but scary because it's so sneakily strong. I may even take a tent.

MisunderstoodGirl joined us for a while. I'm becoming convinced that I've done something to piss her off - or else maybe she'd just been in a bad mood for a couple of months. What used to be pretty interesting conversations have been reduced to grunts and nods.

Anyway, I drank my Upland beer very quickly and since my Smoked Porter hadn't had a chance to chill I ordered a Domaine DuPage French Style Country Ale. I've actually just been calling it "that frenchy beer" rather than butcher the proper pronounciation. I like it, though after the Upland it seemed a little weak.

At one point LaptopGirl noticed her ex at a nearby table so she zipped over there, leaving a little puff of smoke in her wake. I can say that I've come to expect these occurances and I wasn't really bothered.

After RealTrainGirl left Bubbles and MusicalHippyDude joined us at the island. LaptopGirl came back after her ex left and began bad-mouthing him. I can say that I've also come to expect this and I think it's funny.

My Frenchy beer went down pretty quickly and I had the bartender bring out the Alaskan Smoked Porter (Vintage 2003). It hadn't quite cooled down as much as I would have liked but that was my fault for drinking too fast.

The smoked porter is just a very good beer. Like many of my other favorites I wish it had a little less alcohol so I could drink more of it. This ended up being my last beer of the night, though I did have a root beer while LaptopGirl continued to complain about her ex and MusicalHippyDude continued to be more interesting than me.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004
posted by dave at 6:54 PM in category daily

Had my house pressure-washed today to get it ready for painting.

Unfortunately the pressure proved to be too much for some of my siding.

I have to replace six panels.

This won't be as expensive as I initially feared, but I'm pissed about it anyway. It messes up the painting schedule, and I have to figure out a way to get six panels from the store to my house.

Plus I've got to burn another day of vacation to get this done. If this painting project ends up costing me my vacation for the Derby City Classic next January I will be quite miffed.

Monday, May 10, 2004
posted by dave at 7:39 PM in category daily

I give up.

After a couple of weeks of stuggling to pick a color for my house, I realize that the colors in my head do not exist in the real world, so I give up.

I'm getting the house painted with two different shades of gray.

Woo-hoo.

The garage doors will be painted white.

Double woo-hoo.

I figure I'll get the house painted gray, regret my choice for a year or so, then learn to live with it.

Sunday, May 9, 2004
posted by dave at 2:41 PM in category daily

Today I had fun.

I got to play with my new chainsaw by cutting down two trees and about seven bushes that had been planted way too close to my house.

The front of the house looks a little bare now, but it still looks better than it did with all of the half-dead shrubbery.

In the back of the house I trimmed the hell out of a little Japanese Maple that had also been planted way too close to the house. Getting into my back door past that tree was a little like what I've always imagined the soldiers went through in the jungles of VietNam. Except for the part where people shoot at you.

I'll be surprised if the tree lives. I removed nearly a third of it.

My final project for the day was to get rid of the ugly useless clubhouse in my back yard.

That project failed.

I tried to pull the thing over with my truck and managed to spin all four wheels instead.

posted by dave at 1:00 AM in category daily, drink

The events of Friday night tear at my mind. Once I manage to come to grips I'll post about it. Perhaps. I may decide that it's just too much to process and decide to ignore the whole incident.

But for now, just a beer report.

Friday night I started out with one of NABC's Solidarity porters.

I don't remember if I've had this before (I think I have) but I kindof like it. Nothing special, just a decent porter without any bitterness. I hate bitterness.

My next beer was a Domaine DuPage French Style Country Ale by the Two Brothers Brewery. This beer, oddly enough, is not listed on their website.

I have to say that despite the long-winded name and its French implications, this is one of he best beer I've had in a long time. Smooth, not too strong, not too weak.

I ended up having four of these things, then I had three more on Saturday night. What an excellent session beer! I wish I could describe it more clearly. "Drinkable" is the word that comes to mind most often.

Also, on Saturday, I went to Hooters to see my cousin Jeff and I had a Newcastle Brown Ale. It was a little flat - they had warned me beforehand - but it was still very good. I miss being able to get Newcastle's on tap in New Albany. Jeffersonville is just too far to drive for a beer.

Wednesday, May 5, 2004
posted by dave at 10:37 PM in category daily

I'm going nuts trying to decide on a color for my house.

It should get painted within the next two or three weeks, and I've got the color choice narrowed down to blue, red, gray, and light brown.

In other words, I haven't narrowed it down at all.

There are two obstacles to my making of a choice. First, my new roof went on quite a bit lighter than I'd thought it would from the samples. For some reason I'm loathe to have my house painted any color that appears darker than the gray roof. Second, my house has a lot of stonework that is composed of yellow-brown rocks and reddish mortar. It's actually the mortar that's killing me. Any tint other than a reddish one on the house and I'm afraid that the mortar will really clash. The dark blue color that I saw in a magazine - the color that first got me thinking about getting my house painted - is definitely out of the question. Probably. Maybe.

I had my friend Dan, who'll be doing the painting, send me some digital pictures of the house. I plan to play with the pictures in PhotoShop and hopefully that'll help me to actually make a decision.

Sunday, May 2, 2004
posted by dave at 3:53 PM in category daily

That's the color of my hallway now.

After the Robitussin Red fiasco there was a lengthy period where the hallway was simply primer-gray. A couple of weeks ago I bought two gallons of what I thought would be the watermelon color I was looking for but they turned out to be orange.

(I have orange paint for sale - real cheap.)

When I bought the orange paint I also bought a couple of samples of the paint I was looking at for the foyer and the kitchen. The foyer paint is pretty much what I was looking for, so I bought another gallon to use. The kitchen paint turned out to be quite a bit lighter than the almost Navy Blue I wanted for the kitchen. This lighter blue was, on the other hand, kindof cool so I painted my hallway with it today.

Of course it doesn't look as cool on my walls as it did in the can, but I think I'll be able to live with it.

posted by dave at 1:23 PM in category daily, drink

I'm combining the Friday and Saturday reports for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that I think the stark contrast in the styles of the two nights will provide an interesting example of the ebbs and flows of the life of a single man. The second reason is that I'm just plain lazy.

Rich O's was moderately crowded on Friday, with a few of the regulars I can actually stand to be around. I was able to grab a seat at the island and ordered my first beer - an Upland Winter Warmer.

I actually had this beer a couple of times last weekend - when I was starting my writing drought - and I really like it. It reminds me of the Great Lakes Christmas Ale that I enjoyed so much a few months ago. There was some fruitiness that I will call raspberry and some nutmeg as well. My only real problem with this beer is that it's rather strong and I cannot safely have more than one.

Next, on the advice of one of the regulars I tried an Old Slug Porter and I just can't describe it very well. I'm sure it had some flavor and some characteristics, but I just couldn't detect anything after the Upland beer I'd just had. I'll be sure to try it again when it comes back to Rich O's.

At about the time I was finishing my Old Slug, LaptopGirl arrived and WOW! She was looking sexier than I've ever seen before in her little skirt and top. She looked like she'd come straight from a figure skating competition.

(I should point out that while I'm no longer romantically interested in LaptopGirl, I'm still a straight single man and I still find her physically quite attractive and mentally fascinating.)

Once her interesting friends left, LaptopGirl joined me at the island and I spent a good couple of hours striving to make eye contact instead of looking down her top.

Once my Old Slug was gone I ordered an Avery Czar. At 10% alcohol I knew this would be the only one of these I'd have. I liked the taste of this a lot. I detected a definite bourbon odor, and I asked if it was aged in an old bourbon barrel but the bartenders didn't think so. There wasn't really any bourbon to the taste so I may be insane.

After a while the living room area cleared out so LaptopGirl and I moved over there. I was enjoying the conversation (and the scenery) so I ordered an NABC Beak's Best and that ended up being my last beer of the night - though I did have a draft root beer while LaptopGirl finished her NABC BourbonDaddy.

As we've done several times in the past, LaptopGirl and I closed out Rich O's. As we've also done a few times, we went over to Jack's where I had a Diet Coke and wondered how long it would be before the InvisibilityFactor took effect.

It didn't take long. We were sitting with a couple of other Rich O's regulars and MusicalHippyDude is certainly more interesting than I am. Once I was fully invisible to LaptopGirl I was able to finish my drink and leave unnoticed.

Saturday night, as I think I hinted way back at the beginning of this entry, was completely different than Friday.

Rich O's only had a dozen or so people, all in the bar area. A couple of people there I recognized, but I wouldn't say I knew any of them, so I just stood at my spot at the bar and talked with the bartenders.

Wanting something fairly weak after the previous night's strong brews, I first ordered an NABC Beak's Best. They were out. I then ordered a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale. They were out of that too. Starting to feel desperate, I ordered my old old OLD standby, Pete's Wicked Ale. They actually had that and I had a couple more during the night. I won't say too much about the Pete's because it makes me sad that it used to be one of the best but now it's simply passable.

I was also able, thanks to the bartenders, to sample a couple of beers that I really liked. Unfortunately I was sworn to secrecy and I cannot break that trust. I'll just say that I liked them and I wish they were more readily available.

After a relaxing couple of hours I left Rich O's at 11:00 PM and went home.

Thursday, April 29, 2004
posted by dave at 11:08 PM in category daily, ramblings

For several years I kept a little journal.

I still have three or four notepads lying around somewhere, and every now and then I'll read through them.

I always enjoy seeing what I though about life back in the olden days, and I always wish I'd written in them more often.

The fun I have reading those old notebooks is the main reason I write in this 'blog now. I imagine myself in the distant future, reading about stuff like how I ruined my first-ever painting project, and laughing at what a dork I was.

Lately though, it seems that I'm falling back into that old habit where I stop my journaling for no reason whatsoever.

I mean, in the past week I've had my roof completely replaced and I've made the arrangement to have my house painted. I've become completely unenamored with LaptopGirl, I've had my lawn mower fixed for free, I've had my heat pump fixed for big bucks, and I've got HDTV now.

It's not like it's hard to write this stuff. I guess I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm writing this for myself. If anyone else bothers to read it that's fine, but I've got to stop wondering if I'm too boring and just write. So that old version of me in the future will have something to do while he listens to his bones creak and his arteries harden.

Or maybe I'll be Supreme Galactic Emperor and this thing will be worth a lot of money.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004
posted by dave at 10:20 PM in category daily

Remember that pillar of willpower from last week?

It's proving to be a pretty fragile thing.

Friday night I caved and went and bought a new TV. I also bought a new satelite receiver and dish. I also bought a new Pronto remote control. Oh yea I also bought a big giant entertainment center.

I think I'm done. Luckily my budgets for house painting and roof replacement remain intact. The flooring budget has taken a small hit but I hope to still be able to get everything I wanted done.

I waited until tonight to post about the new TV and stuff because I wanted to surprise my sister who was supposed to come over today.

But Nooooooooooooooo! Her plans changed and I didn't want to have to wait another week before affirming my complete lack of backbone to the world.

Saturday, April 17, 2004
posted by dave at 12:12 PM in category daily, drink

Not much beer - and actually not much report - for this entry.

I went to Rich O's as usual, though I was pretty tired from all the shopping after work.

The place was fairly crowded - standing room only, but I stood at the bar with my Beak's Best and listened to LaptopGirl and her ex talk about farts for a while. How fascinating that was!

After a while CreepyGuy started hitting on me or whatever it is he's doing so I left.

I'm pretty surprised by the display of idiocy that LaptopGirl put on. It's like she dumbed herself down so her ex wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

I'm not jealous. Much.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004
posted by dave at 9:28 PM in category daily

Just to list the things I've spent money on since I got my refinance money. Keep in mind that I'm supposed to be spending all this on home improvements and repairs.

1. Trip to Omaha. Airfare, Hotel, Car Rental, etc. adding up to about $700.

2. A new cue to use when I was in Omaha. $400.

3. A 7-foot pool table. Probably the stupidest purchase I've ever made in my life. $900.

And now today I found myself checking out the bigscreen TVs on the Internet. I'm glad that there's not an Ovation on the way home from work or I'd probably have spent another couple of thousand dollars.

Well, the week is still young.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004
posted by dave at 10:18 AM in category daily, travel

Last week I went to Omaha.

Despite what my family and some people at work were thinking, the trip had nothing to do with my ex-wife. Nor were there any job interviews involved.

I went up there just to visit people I hadn't seen in years.

Well, I did have one specific reason for going. I need to keep that one a secret from this public forum.

It was very nice to see some of the people from the old days. I wish I could have seen more of them, but a lot of my old friends are/were in the Air Force and have moved on. Also the old Shanty bar burned down (Sad!) and the regulars from there seem to have all disappeared.

I did get to see a lot of my old roommate Mike and on Thursday I was pleasantly surprised to see Awesome Larry.

On Saturday night I managed to - well never mind.

One thing about this trip that I wasn't too happy about. I couldn't really give anyone much advance warning. I certainly couldn't post anything here about the trip before it happened. I don't know who reads this thing, and there's at least one person in the Omaha area that I absolutely didn't want to see.

I was actually pretty paranoid a couple of times that said person would show up at the hotel or at the bar. This would have certainly made me very unhappy, and may have even caused a nervous breakdown or something. What a pussy I am.

As it turned out the trip was worth it. It was not nearly as rejuvenating as my Seattle trip was last Fall. How could it be? Most of my friends from Omaha are gone. My 8-ball game sucks. The Shanty is gone.

I could list more problems with the trip, but I don't want to make it seem that I didn't enjoy myself.

Omaha is still, as I tell people frequently, The Best-Kept Secret in the United States. Just the right size, all kinds of restaurants, a great zoo, little traffic, blah blah blah.

I hope it doesn't take me another five years to visit there again.

Monday, April 12, 2004
posted by dave at 12:09 PM in category daily

I've been out of town and am behind on several posts.

Maybe I'll catch up, and maybe I won't bother.

Saturday, April 10, 2004
posted by dave at 3:21 PM in category daily, drink, travel

This morning I found myself at a very cool brewpub/restaurant in Omaha.

The Upstream Brewery is one I haven't even heard of before. It turns out that they don't sell outside of the Omaha area and they weren't there a decade ago when I lived there.

Anyway, this was a really nice place, and I wish there was something like it in Louisville.

My first beer was their Dundee 90 Shilling Scotch Ale. This was my first scotch ale, and I guess it was a little blander than I expected. I did really like it though. Before I left I talked to one of the brewers who told me that this particular batch was indeed a little bland and the next batch would be more flavorful.

My next beer was their Firehouse ESB. This was another really good beer, and I don't even like ESBs that much generally.

Since it was still before noon and I hadn't even had lunch yet I decided that two semi-strong beers would be enough.

Thursday, April 1, 2004
posted by dave at 1:01 AM in category daily

Tjsssj dli kst dif!!

Euvidet kust kness endmi drosta dpo ela fea, elev inmi ibony ficui
ketentic fidn mbe fibidnef obbatok ocl fec refeni.

Tajtu, iti mospod anonrad sum!

Tuesday, March 30, 2004
posted by dave at 9:06 PM in category daily

I found out today that my refinance loan was approved!

The funny thing is; I was quite worried that the appraisal I had to have done would reflect a lower value for my house because of the repairs that were needed. What actually happened is that my home's value went UP 25% in the four years since I bought it.

I'm getting a new mortgage, with the same payments as before, the payments end at the same time as before, and I'm able get some money for some much-needed repairs and redecorations.

Monday, March 29, 2004
posted by dave at 10:19 PM in category daily

I'd guess that I've ordered about a gazillion pizzas over the past twenty years.

My ex-wife worked at a couple of pizza places. I've often been too lazy to cook anything after work. I like pizza. Etc.

Tonight, after all those years and all those pizzas, I experienced a first.

My pizza wasn't cut. There were no slices. There were no sqaures. There was just a big circle.

I called Domino's and suggested to the manager that perhaps they were working just a little too fast.

The pizza ended up being inedible - even after I cut it into slices. The grease and stuff had no escape route because there were no slices. All that grease just soaked into the crust and made it a soggy mess. Yuck.

Sunday, March 28, 2004
posted by dave at 9:53 AM in category daily, drink

I went out way to early last night.

Because I'd gone to the liquor store to spend my product promotion allowance I ended up at Rich O's at around 8:00 PM.

It wasn't very crowded, but it seemed that all of the people there were (a) annoying, and (b) likely to be glued to their seats all night.

I ended up standing for the whole time I was there.

The first beer I had was a Kiuchi Hitachino New Year's Celebration Eisbock. I've decided that "eisbock" must be some foreign word for "tastes like shit" because this is the third or fourth variation I've had over the past several months and I haven't cared for a single one. Rotten molasses is how I wil describe it, though I don't really know what rotten molasses tastes like.

Next I tried the second Gravity Head beer from the Fantome Brewery, the Fantôme d Été.

At least that's what I thought. It turns out that this may have actually been the Fantome Saison, and that I had the Fantôme d Été last weekend. They were switching things up to confuse me apparently.

At any rate, the Fantome Whatever I had last night was much more cider-like that the Fantome Whatchamacallit I had last weekend. This one was actually too applely for my taste.

By the time I'd spent an hour choking down the eisbock, and then another hour choking down the Fantome, I was ready to leave. All of the people at Rich O's were still there glued to their seats, and they were still annoying.

I got home just after 10:00 and went to sleep.

Saturday, March 27, 2004
posted by dave at 3:20 PM in category daily, drink

I had such high hopes for last night.

First off, both of the beers I'd been most looking forward to sampling were on tap at the same time. To make things even better LaptopGirl had reappeared a week earlier from wherever she'd been. Finally, I was just in a good mood - something that's been a little rare since I started my ill-executed painting project.

When I arrived at Rich O's the first beer I tried was Uerige "Secret" Sticke Altbier. I actually got the very last half-glass from the cask.

I should have left it in the cask. I didn't like it at all, and I don't think I can properly describe the displeasure I had while drinking it, so I won't try.

After that disaster, I had the other beer I'd really been looking forward to. The Rocky River Kohlminator Smoked Bock was a beer I'd been hoping would (a) help me to get over the loss of my beloved Cone Smoker, and (b) cost less than the Alaskan Smoked Porter I'd been getting my smoke fix from recently.

I didn't like this beer either. There wasn't very much smoke, and what there was was the "grapey" kind of smoke that I don't really care for. To make matters worse, there was no bitterness, only sweetness behind the smoke, and those two flavors clashed quite a bit.

Well so much for that. I went back to the bland, but safe, Community Dark for the rest of the evening.

I'd started out the night at the bar, from where I'd occasionally glance to the sitting area to see if a space near LaptopGirl had opened up. Eventually one did so I moved over and sat in the chair.

LaptopGirl was looking quite pretty, and beyond that she was in a much better mood than she'd been in when I'd last seen her. She was optimistic about her writing and was happily telling anyone who'd listen about the BIG director who was reading one of her screenplays.

After a while, for reasons I cannot fathom, CoffeeDude decided to start lecturing LaptopGirl on the realities of life, and of The Arts in particular. He kept telling her how hard it was to break into show business, and how she shouldn't be disappointed if this particular opportunity fell through.

I'm sure that CoffeeDude meant well, and he was certainly telling the truth, but I didn't think that LaptopGirl needed to hear it. Especially on this particular night. I asked him to ease up, and to let LaptopGirl enjoy her optimism. LaptopGirl herself asked him to be quiet several times.

Eventually whatever evil plan CoffeeDude had came to fruition. LaptopGirl fell into a funk even worse than I'd seen the previous weekend. Then she left. I tried to apologize on behalf of men everywhere (and especially CoffeeDude) but she never stopped moving as she walked out the door.

I'd started the night with fairly high expectations, and by the time I went home I'd had two beers that I didn't like at all, plus as an added bonus I'd got to see LaptopGirl cry and there was nothing I could do about it.

That'll teach me to be an optimist.

Monday, March 22, 2004
posted by dave at 5:27 PM in category daily

Do not freak out.

I am fine.

There is nothing wrong with me, and I have proof.

So the other night I was sitting at the bar at Rich O's talking with LaptopGirl. At one point during the night I leaned back from the bar and noticed that my left hand had fallen asleep.

This kind of thing happens to me all the time - especially on my left arm and hand since I screwed up that arm so badly years ago.

Usually the numb/tingling sensation goes away pretty quickly.

This time it didn't.

I woke up this morning still feeling numb in my left ring and pinkie fingers.

Once I got to work I noticed how difficult it had become to type anything. It's amazing how much those two fingers get used when typing.

I decided to call my regular doctor so he could make sure I hadn't caused any type of permanent injury to the nerves in my arm.

What happened next was my fault. I told my doctor's receptionist that I wanted to schedule an appointment for numb fingers. The receptionist asked if I was feeling any pain. Without thinking I mentioned that my left arm was hurting a little.

My left arm always hurts a little. It's done so for years.

But the receptionist didn't know that.

What she heard was "numbness" plus "arm pain" and she pretty much freaked out. She told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to get to the hospital NOW NOW NOW!

I could practically hear the gears in her head turning as she tried to decide whether to call life-flight for me.

So anyway, just to humor the poor thing, I went to the hospital.

After about four hours, most of which was spent waiting around either in the main lobby or in a little room they gave me, I was told to go home.

They had, just to satisfy their procedures, taken a blood test and did and EKG on me.

Everything came out fine.

I am not dying, at least not today.

It turns out that the type of nerve damage I've done to my arm can cause numbness that lasts for days or even weeks. It's not likely to get any worse as long as I'm careful about leaning on the nerve.

I was advised that if my fingers don't return to normal within a few days I should meet with my regular doctor so he can amputate my left arm.

Just kidding. Ha Ha.

I'm just supposed to check with my regular doctor so he can make sure that things are healing.

Sunday, March 21, 2004
posted by dave at 11:19 AM in category daily, drink

Last night Rich O's was actually pretty dead. Perhaps the novelty of their Gravity Head festival, now a couple of weeks old, has begun to wear off.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was SuperHotYoungGirl sitting with her friends in the front area. She actually made eye-contact with me and I nearly professed my love and adoration for her right then and there.

Somehow I resisted that urge and went into Rich O's proper. Things in there did not look good. DisgustingMakeoutCouple had stationed themselves on the couch and were doing their best to make everyone in the room feel uncomfortable by sucking and groping at each other. Seriously, get a room.

Beyond that display, right in "my" spot, stood CreepyGuy. He gave me his customary grin/leer. The guy either wants to pound me in the ass or chop me up and feed me to his pet ferrets. Neither option sounds particularly appealing so I try to steer clear.

Luckily a spot opened up at the bar so I was able to grab a seat. I ordered a Community Dark and had the bartender put an Alaskan Smoked Porter on ice for later.

As I drank my beer I'd occasionally look around the room to see if SuperHotYoungGirl had entered Rich O's proper. She hadn't but at one point I saw someone even better. LaptopGirl had managed to sneak in and was sitting there reading a book.

It had been at least a month since LaptopGirl and I had seen each other, and I swear she seemed as glad to see me as I was to see her. She moved her stuff over to the bar so we could talk.

While I talked with LaptopGirl about things ranging from her artistic endeavors to the National Park Service I finished my Community Dark and had the bartender bring me the Smoked Porter I had put on ice earlier.

This was the 2002 vintage Alaskan Smoked Porter. I usually have the 2003, and according to the Rich O's beer experts there is supposed to be a substantial difference.

I couldn't really detect a difference. I liked the 2002 exactly as much as I like the 2003. That is to say I liked it a lot, and I wished I could drink more than one in a night.

While I'd originally planned to leave Rich O's fairly early since I had to work the next morning, the appearance of LaptopGirl changed all that. I ended up having a couple of NABC's Beaks Best pints while she sampled a couple of the Gravity Head beers.

At one point we also sampled a Fantome Saison that I really liked and LaptopGirl didn't seem to care for all that much. It had the apple taste that I've come to expect and enjoy from Belgians.

As Rich O's closed LaptopGirl made a couple of references to going over to a nearby bar. I somehow remembered that I had to work in the morning and told her so. I also managed to stop myself from babbling on about the invisibility factor and the fact that Jack's Tavern seems to be a catalyst for that phenomenon.

Saturday, March 20, 2004
posted by dave at 6:30 PM in category daily, pictures

Today I went to Home Depot to check out flooring materials and left with a hundred dollars worth of paint and painting supplies.

I've had this bug up my butt for months about the walls in my house - specifically my hallway. The off-white color just seemed too bland.

A couple of years ago there was a wall where I worked that was painted a pretty cool watermelon color, and I'd always told myself that I should paint some wall in my house with that color.

Well I tried. The paint, which looked very cool on the little "Ruby Ring" sample card I chose has ended up looking very very very red on my walls.

I mean, it really looks like crap, and I don't think that's solely due to the fact that I need to put another coat on.

yuck

I'll put that second coat on tomorrow and cross my fingers.

posted by dave at 10:41 AM in category daily, drink

Last night was supposed to be a change of pace. I'd been invited by a friend from work to go to a Louisville bar with the unlikely name "The Backdoor" to shoot some pool. I was also told that this bar had Newcastle on tap, so the trip seemed like it would be a worthwhile diversion from the Gravity Head crowding at Rich O's.

I found the place easily enough and I was happy to confirm that despite its name, The Backdoor is not one of "those" places. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, my friend wasn't there and I ordered a Newcastle and waited.

There was something wrong with the beer. Maybe it had been in the keg for years - The Backdoor didn't seem like the type of place to go through a lot of imports. Maybe the glass was just dirty. For whatever reason I couldn't even finish the glass. My friend never did show up so I left.

Rich O's wasn't nearly as crowded as I'd feared. Maybe everyone was off watching Louisville choke its way out of the NCAA tournament.

I had one of NABC's Solidarity Baltic porters. I remember having this before - about a year ago, and liking it, but I didn't remember much else about it.

What a scary beer! It tastes very good, with no bitternes at all, and just the right amount of carbonation. The scary part is that it's over 8% alcohol. I ended up having two of them then I had to switch to root beer to make sure I'd be able to find my truck, let alone drive home in it.

The only regulars I saw were Bubbles, who was looking all tropical, and CreepyGuy. CreepyGuy kept looking at me and grinning (leering?) so I kept as far from him as I could and made sure nobody followed me home.

Thursday, March 18, 2004
posted by dave at 10:37 PM in category daily

Senility is really setting in.

While proofreading my 'blog entry about last Friday night (typos have a way of showing up hours or even days after I type them) I realized that I'd forgotten to mention the presence of SuperHotYoungGirl, there apparently for Gravity Head.

It took all of my will power to keep from simply staring at her for the entire night.

posted by dave at 8:37 AM in category daily

BWAAK! BWAAK! BWAAK! BWAAK!

That's the closest text approximation I can make of the sound that my smoke alarm makes when it wakes me up. It did so last night because my blower motor on my HVAC system seized up and started releasing large amounts of smoke into my ductwork.

Besides the fun of being jolted awake by that lovely noise, I also got to enjoy the unique smell of burning electrical parts.

Well my house didn't burn down. I hit the circuit breaker and tore the cover off my air handler to make sure that there was no actual fire, then cancelled Fire Dept visit that ADT had dispatched.

I sit here now, after a pretty cold night with no heat, waiting for the repair guys to show up and tell me how much it will cost to get my blower moter replaced.

In about fifteen years I also expect my heartrate to return to its normal pace.

Maybe by then Nugget will come out of hiding.

Monday, March 15, 2004
posted by dave at 11:49 PM in category daily, drink

I've combined my Friday and Saturday reports for this past weekend for a couple of reasons. First, It's now Monday and I just want to get the thing typed. Second, Saturday was pretty much a bust, as I'll explain later.

Rich O's is having their annual "Gravity Head" festival, where they feature the strongest beers in the world, so I went in on Friday to sample some of these deadly concoctions.

Before I got three feet into the door I was accosted by CanadianGirl from work. She was upset that I hadn't been visiting her at the sample tasting lab lately. She was also drunk. (Yes, I'm talking about you. You're a very cute and friendly drunk though.) I spent a good deal of time reassuring her that my absence had nothing to do with her or the lab - I'd just been either sick or very busy for over two months. I promised to make every effort to start going to the lab again.

Also representing my work at Rich O's on Friday were CanadianGirl's hot boss(can I say that?) and CheerfulGirl, who for some reason didn't seem very cheerful at all.

Anyway, I first ordered a "Hercules" from Louisville's Browning's Brewery, and I drank it while talking with CanadianGirl's boyfriend and CheerfulGirl's husband. I also finally got to see if CanadianGirl's hot boss (can I say that?) was wearing a ring or not. She isn't.

I didn't like the Hercules. It was just too bitter.

Once the crew from work left I had a new beer from Rich O's own NABC. The 5B Brown Porter I also did not particulary like. I know the guy who invented this recipe, and I know he'll understand that just because I don't like his beer that doesn't mean that it isn't any good. More on that later.

Oh yeah, during all this time while I was choking down my first two beer I also had an Alaskan Smoked Porter on ice. It became my last, and only good, beer of the night.

I ended up in the "Living Room " area of Rich O's talking with MisunderstoodGirl, TrainGirl, and RealTrainGirl. It was pretty cool to have some of the women regulars there, as it had been a while.

On to Saturday. I've been completely swamped with work so I wasn't really sure that I'd go out at all, but the glamour and glitz of Gravity Head called to me so I went back to Rich O's.

The crowd was unbelievable. It was also unbearable.

I'd been thinking about the 5B Brown Porter that I'd tried the night before. I wondered if I'd given it a fair test, what with my taste buds still being all shot to hell from the Hercules I'd had just before it. I decided that, to be fair to my friend who'd invented the recipe, I'd have another pint and see how it stood on its own.

Unfortunately, I still didn't like it. Just too bitter. It took me over an hour to drink the thing, and that hour was spent walking from section to section trying to find a place to simply stand. There was no hope whatsoever of being able to sit down because the crowd was so thick.

I ended up going home after that one beer, and working until the wee hours of the morning.

Thursday, March 11, 2004
posted by dave at 6:08 PM in category daily

Got a call from the bank today and was told that my refinance loan had been approved...

BUT

...the last appraisal on my house was over three years ago so I have to get a new one.

For whatever reason I'm now paranoid about the appraisal. I mean, a lot of what I'm planning to spend the money on will directly affect the home's value. Things like a new roof and new paint.

I also wonder how the appraisal person will like the demolition work I did in the basement when I got my new pool table? And how about my lovely storage room and detached garage?

Tuesday, March 9, 2004
posted by dave at 9:55 PM in category daily

Today I'm enduring what millions of others have endured over the years.

I applied for a mortgage refinance, and I'm waiting for word from the bank.

If I get the loan, the money will go to much needed things like a new roof and new exterior paint on my house.

I'm actually pretty nervous because I'm making a lot less money now than I was when I got my original mortgage four years ago.

I will also say that the loan officer at my bank is pretty cute.

Sunday, March 7, 2004
posted by dave at 11:43 AM in category daily, drink

When I first walked in to Rich O's last night I already knew what my last beer of the night would be. I asked the bartender to put a bottle of Alaskan Smoked Porter on ice for me, since they usually keep it at room temperature.

While waiting for my real beer to chill I had a couple of NABC's Community Dark pints. There was some weird guy playing what I suppose could be called music and doing what I guess some would call singing, but my musical tastes are not nearly broad enough to appreciate the poor bastard.

Once again there were none of the women I know at Rich O's so I spent most of the night talking with CoffeeDude about things neither important nor interesting.

Once CoffeeDude left my Smoked Porter was ready so I moved to the bar and tasted that beer for the first time in several years.

Definately more smoky than I remember, but more complex also, I liked it a lot. I'm not sure if I like it as much as the Alaska Brewing Company's Alaskan Amber, but I'd have to put Smoked Porter in my top five beers. I'll definitely be having more of it, at least util Rich O's decides to stop selling it.

Not that I'm bitter about Cone Smoker being discontinued or anything.

Nope, not me.

Saturday, March 6, 2004
posted by dave at 11:22 AM in category daily, drink

Last night I was in the mood for some Newcastle so I went to Hooters and met up with my cousin Jeff. This time I even remembered to ask the Hooters girl to give me my beer in a non-frosted glass.

Newcastle remains one of my favorite beers, and I enjoyed a couple while catching up with Jeff and admiring the Hooters scenery.

Next I moved on to Rich O's and had a Beak's Best. It wasn't too bad - better than the last time I had it. This beer is not fluctuating. It's just that my enjoyment of it depends greatly on what I've had to drink earlier. It tastes pretty good when following Newcastle Brown Ale.

Last night Rich O's for some reason was severly short on female presence. LaptopGirl was nowhere to be found, and MisunderstoodGirl only made a brief appearance. I spent the time talking with one of the regulars about his homebrewing and his plans for some bourbon char we'd picked up at my work earlier in the day.

At one point the guy went out to his truck and came back with some homebrewing sample bottles and several of us got to try his latest brews.

I don't remember much about what happened after that - except that I didn't like the cider, and all of the samples were very strong on alcohol content.

I woke up this morning pretty dehydrated as is usual when I drink stronger brews.

posted by dave at 10:46 AM in category daily

Last night they had this IQ test show on TV. I Tivoed it and took the test this morning.

I don't consider myself particularly smart - the smart people are the ones who fly through tests like this - I'm usually more likely to label others as stupid than to call myself intelligent.

The test was a struggle for me for two reasons. One was the time limit they gave for each question. I know I could have answered that memory question correctly if only they'd given me another hour or two to memorize that stupid yearbook information. The second excuse I'll use is that I'm a bit hungover from last night's experiments.

Wednesday, March 3, 2004
posted by dave at 10:13 PM in category daily

Tonight, when I answered the door for the pizza guy, the neighbor's dog ran up to my door, picked up a bowl full of water, swung it around, and got the pizza guy right in the face.

It was really quite funny, and I doubled the guy's tip.

Sunday, February 29, 2004
posted by dave at 1:57 PM in category daily

Today I did my part to keep the economy moving by taking my Christmas lights down.

This helps the economy because my sister Dina had a bet that the lights would still be up next Christmas.

posted by dave at 1:55 PM in category daily, drink

I'm combining the Friday and Saturday reports in an effort to get enough information to make this post worth posting.

No such luck.

I had boring beers, all of which I've had before, and Rich O's itself seemed pretty boring.

I really miss Cone Smoker.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004
posted by dave at 9:19 PM in category daily

Today I took the day off work to get some stuff done. This is in stark contrast to most of my off-days when I usually just play pool and watch TV.

Today I had a plumber come by to install my new water heater and water softener. I had an electrician here to wire up an unused switch in my basement to some overhead lights, and I had two different painting company people here to give me an estimate on painting my house.

I was also supposed to get an estimate on repairing the stonework in the basement - from the demolition I did to make room for the pool table - but that guy never showed up.

Once the stonework repairs are done that will take care of the little things I wanted to do this year. The big stuff like painting the house and getting my roof recovered will have to wait until I see if I can refinance my mortgage and take advantage of these low interest rates.

Monday, February 23, 2004
posted by dave at 11:14 PM in category daily

Since I'm off tomorrow, and feeling a little better, I thought I might go to Rich O's. I haven't been there in over a week, what with being sick and all.

This Death Flu II is really annoying. I'm having pretty serious coughing fits whenever my sinuses drain into my throat, and I'm often struck with some pretty disconcerting bouts of lightheadedness.

Perhaps it's not just the flu that I have. Maybe I have a brain cloud or something.

Anyway, I ended up deciding to pass on Rich O's for tonight.

Friday, February 20, 2004
posted by dave at 3:01 PM in category daily, work

At a meeting today at work, I noticed this handwritten entry in my notebook:

I have no idea what this means.

posted by dave at 8:55 AM in category daily

Happy Birthday to me!

I start my 39th year enduring the initial stages of the Kentuckiana Death Flu Part II, this time with added congestion!

I probably won't even make it out to celebrate tonight.

Sunday, February 15, 2004
posted by dave at 11:51 PM in category daily

Water at my home has recently become an issue.

On Christmas Eve, my sister's fiance pointed out that my water heater was starting to leak and would need to be replaced soon. I crossed my fingers and hoped that it would hold out until I got my tax refund and that wish was granted.

Another thing about my water - it's the hardest water I've ever seen. I've been wanting to get a water softener for years, and this year I decided that since Dina's fiance is a real Mr. Fixit I'd go ahead and get one, then try to get him to help me with the installation.

So today I went back to the mall and bought a new water heater and a new water softener. I even thought for a while that I'd be able to pick them both up today, but alas, the water heater was apparently missing from the warehouse so I'll have to wait until Wednesday.

I spent a couple of hours tonight doing as much assembly on the water softener as I could. I had to stop when I got to the part about joining copper pipes together because (a) I don't have a blowtorch, and (b) It's a good thing I don't have a blowtorch.

I'll try to get Kenny to help me out with this stuff after I get the water heater.

posted by dave at 11:42 PM in category daily, drink

These beer reports are going to have a lot less beer and proportionally more report for a while. At least until Rich O's gets something interesting to drink I'll be limiting myself to the boring old Beaks Best, Community Dark, and Guiness.

Tonight my mood was a lot better. I arrived at Rich O's at the same time as LaptopGirl (who was looking quite hot) and there were seats available in the "living room" at Rich O's. I spent a few enjoyable hours talking with LaptopGirl, MisunderstoodGirl, CoffeeDude, and some lesbian who's name I can never remember.

Several times in the past I've joked that I only feel normal if I'm pining away for someone that, for whatever reasons, is unavailable or otherwise inappropriate for me. Currently I'd say that LaptopGirl is filling that niche. She's pretty and smart and interesting. She also, at times, seems shallow and transparent and completely wrong for an old fart like me. It is kind of nice to have someone I look forward to seeing though.

After a while one of the Rich O's regulars, who I will call PillowGuy, joined us in the living room and, as he is apparently more interesting than I am, I became invisible to LaptopGirl. She did ask me to join PillowGuy and her at Jack's Bar after Rich O's closed, but it was clear even before we got there that I was no longer needed and so I left after only a few minutes.

I don't think anyone noticed.

Saturday, February 14, 2004
posted by dave at 10:43 AM in category daily, drink

Whores and Sluts.

I'm sure that one of my old friends will recognize that old mantra, that oft-repeated phrase we used during that time in our lives when all women seemed to be evil, manipulative, and just plain repulsive.

My friend got lucky and found himself a good one. I remained unlucky and wasted a couple more years trying to work things out with my ex-wife.

He's still married, I'm still single, and I think we're both pretty happy.

I found myself thinking of those old days while I sat at Rich O's Friday night. There was a group of women who, to me and my already foul mood, seemed to be the perfect poster children for loose and bitchy women.

Anyway, they reminded me of that old slogan. My mood was foul for a completely different reason. My favorite Rich O's beer, Cone Smoker, has been pulled from the rotation, and I was forced to drink some lesser brews.

What I had was a Beak's Best and a couple of Community Darks, both decent beers, but neither is substantial enough to wrap an evening around. I found myself drinking beer just to drink it, not to enjoy it as I've been able to do lately.

Most of the regulars were there. MisunderstoodGirl and LaptopGirl seemed to notice my foul mood and left me to myself. Other's weren't quite so understanding and I was probably a little surly towards them.

When I left, much earlier than I usually do, I simply paid my bill and walked out. If anyone noticed my departure they were probably relieved.

Sunday, February 8, 2004
posted by dave at 8:45 PM in category daily, drink

That's right, a very rare Sunday report. This will probably be my last Sunday report also.

LaptopGirl called me this evening to see if I was going to this beer club meeting in Louisville. I hadn't been able to make up my mind about going, as is typical for me, but I was unable to say no to LaptopGirl.

Even though I knew I was probably being jerked around I went to the meeting, arriving fashionably late at about a half hour past the scheduled start time. Well, after about an hour of sitting around I got bored and left. LaptopGirl did not make an appearance. There were a lot of people from Rich O's there but there didn't seem to be much discussion going on. Everyone seemed content to just sit around and stare at their feet while they waited for the meeting to start.

One guy told me that these things usually last until between 10:00 and Midnight. That's just too late for me on any work night - especially on a Sunday night when my insomnia is sure to be a factor anyway.

For the Beer Report part of this Beer Report I'll note that I had one of BBC's Alt beers. I'm convinced that this beer has changed since the big BBC split that occured last year. I don't think the change was for the better either. I've got to take BBC Alt off my list of favorites, and that's kind of sad.

posted by dave at 1:34 PM in category daily, drink

Last night was pretty tame for me. I had some Cone Smoker at Steve's party, then went to Rich O's and had a couple of Community Dark pints.

One item of particularly bad news - Rich O's is out of Cone Smoker, and they're not expecting anymore for at least a couple of months. This seems to happen a lot to me. I find something I really like and then it goes away. I don't know if beer is mimicking life or vice-versa.

I also spent the first few minutes at Rich O's talking with LaptopGirl about various things until someone more interesting came in and I became invisible.

Last night also saw another appearance by DooRagGirl and her husband, though I didn't get a chance to talk with them much.

posted by dave at 1:29 PM in category daily

A happy 40th birthday to my old (no really - old) friend Steve. Last night we had a small surprise party for him and it was a lot of fun.

I took a half-gallon of Cone Smoker, drank about half of it, and enjoyed a few games of darts. I won every game I played which was stange because I never throw steel-tips and I haven't thrown anything in years.

It's definitely strange that many of my friends, and now even Steve, have now celebrated their 40th birthdays. These occasions also serve as a reminder to me that I'll be 39 in a couple of weeks.

I'll also take this opportunity to wish a belated 40th to my cousin Jeff who has been way too busy with his Hooters friends for anyone else lately.

posted by dave at 1:22 PM in category daily

One of the reasons for my lack of posting recently had been that the Kentuckiana Death Flu finally got me in its grasp.

I haven't been that sick for over fifteen years, and I hope it's at least another fifteen before I get that sick again.

So anyway, I'm back to normal now, and I have some catching up to do.

I'll back-date some posts and then it'll look like I was never gone.

Saturday, February 7, 2004
posted by dave at 1:43 PM in category daily, drink

Last week's sickness has made me a little paranoid, so I stuck with some pretty tame beer tonight. Tame to me means Guiness and Community Dark and I had a couple of each.

Rich O's also has a new pre-prohibition style beer that I tried and didn't like at all. There was a very strange smell that I just couldn't get past. The smell was horrible, the taste was okay, and the aftertaste was horrible. Chalk one up to experience, and I won't be having any more of that.

Sunday, February 1, 2004
posted by dave at 1:48 PM in category daily, drink

The last two nights I haven't been myself. I've just gotten over this horrible flu and it's probably stupid of me to be going out at all. But a guy's got to eat, and I found myself at Rich O's ordering pizza to go.

While my pizza was being cooked I had a little to drink - I think I had a Community Dark on Friday and that's about it.

Last night I was feeling a little better physically but was in a bad mood otherwise. I had a Cone Smoker and then tried a Bell's Two-Hearted Ale. Nasty nasty nasty. That damn smell was just too much.

I'm sure there were other people at Rich O's and I'm sure I talked to some of them but I'm pretty sure nothing interesting was discussed.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004
posted by dave at 1:06 PM in category daily

Today I came home from work early. I'm just not feeling very well. At about 11:00 I started feeling light-headed and feverish and as I type this I'm starting to get chills. I guess this stupid flu that's been jumping around at work has finally landed on me.

I'm going to bed.

Sunday, January 25, 2004
posted by dave at 12:21 PM in category daily, work

I haven't been to work for nine days but it's all over now. This is just a regular Sunday where I have to make sure that I get my laundry done in time for tomorrow.

I find myself sitting here, listening to the little ice pellets hitting my office window, and hoping against hope that we'll get a foot or so of ice accumulation so I can take an extra day off.

My sleep schedule is almost completely upside-down after the past week. If I can get through today without taking a nap I may be able to get back on track. Otherwise I'll be really suffering at work.

posted by dave at 12:13 PM in category daily, drink, family

Last night was a special night at Rich O's. For one thing I actually got my sister Dina to come by for a while. This rare event was then surpassed by the arrival of Dan "Holy Shit" Kruer, a friend from 20 years ago, and his wife Chris, a childhood friend of Dina's.

First things first though. When I arrived I knew that I'd need to find a suitably weak beer for my sister to drink. I asked some regulars what was the wimpiest beer at Rich O's and was told it was Spaten Lager. I had one of these to field-test it for Dina and it was indeed wimpy.

I sat for a while, drinking my wimpy beer and talking to RealTrainGirl and her friend Matt-Josh-Willy-Whatever about various things like would I be able to recognize Dan and Chris when they arrived.

Dina arrived and immediately wanted to know where LaptopGirl was. I guess she's read about my fascination with her in my 'blog. Unfortunately LaptopGirl didn't arrive until after Dina had gone but she did get to meet RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl before Dan and Chris arrived.

While the girls drank their wimpy Spaten Lagers I tried to make recommendations for Dan. I think he tried the Beak's Best, then sampled the Cone Smoker and Community Dark before settling on the Dark as a beer he liked.

I ended up having a few half-pints of Cone Smoker and then a couple of Community Darks. The Cone Smoker is style#1 and the Community Dark remains unchanged.

After a while my sister and then my friends left in search of some industrial swill and I sat and talked to LaptopGirl and a couple of Rich O's professional beer drinkers until they closed the place up and kicked us out.

Saturday, January 24, 2004
posted by dave at 1:52 PM in category daily, drink

Being on vacation all last week, I ended up at Rich O's every night before going back to the Executive West to watch more pool.

For the most part I stuck to my regular NABC brews - Cone Smoker and Community Dark. I did, however, have a couple more of the Beak's Best beers. Knowing I'd be driving back to Louisville I definitely watched my alcohol intake even more than I normally do.

Other than that, I spent the time talking to some of the various regulars I've gotten to know. LaptopGirl and MisunderstoodGirl remain my favorite conversation partners, though TrainGirl and RealTrainGirl are also pretty fun to be around.

On Friday it was standing-room-only until quite late. I got so claustrophobic a couple of times that I went out and sat in the (empty) non-smoking section.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004
posted by dave at 2:18 AM in category daily, drink

A rare Tuesday report - courtesy of my company and their vacation benefit - starts out like any other - with a Cone Smoker. It's back to style #1, which is very good, especially after having to endure the BBC porter I've had for the past few days.

After my Cone Smoker I tried one of NABC's Beaks Best ESB beers. For a beer with the word "bitter" in the name it wasn't bad at all. A lot darker and more complex than I expected.

One interesing thing (to me at least) was that MisunderstoodGirl plays both the guitar and the bass guitar, and speaks Arabic. She also painted the numerous new pieces of artwork adorning the walls at Rich O's. This girl has more sides to here than a D&D dice set. Sigh. If only she wasn't so far out there in weirdo land.

Next I had a Community Dark just to have something to drink. I detected some roast malt character this time that I hadn't noticed before. Still pretty good and still pretty bland.

After Rich O's closed I went to another bar with LaptopGirl and a couple of other Rich O's regulars.

For some odd reason that I cannot recall I decided to have a PBR. It, like the Falls City I had a couple of months ago, wasn't nearly as bad as I remember. Not a lot to describe about it. It was just good and mellow.

Meanwhile, I find LaptopGirl to be more and more fascinating every time I talk to her. She has shown some really shallow sides to her personality but at other times, like tonight, she has shown some depth beyond her years. Her extreme intelligence, along with her dorky cuteness, makes her the official hottie of Rich O's and the woman that most makes me wish I were ten years younger. I get the impression that age is an issue with her, though I can't imagine too many guys her age being able to keep up with her mentally.

Saturday, January 17, 2004
posted by dave at 12:04 AM in category daily, drink

I didn't expect to have a beer report tonight. For one thing, I'm playing in a pool tournament (see the pool blog), and for another, I didn't expect the hotel bar to have anything worth drinking.

Well I finished my only match of the day before 7:00 PM, and the hotel bar had BBC Dark Star Porter.

I've had this before, a long time ago. It's not my favorite. A little too bitter for my taste, and the roasted malt was a little weird tasting.

Still, it was a lot better than anything else in the hotel bar. Just not quite as good as the Bad Elmer's I had a few weeks ago.

Monday, January 12, 2004
posted by dave at 9:10 PM in category daily, drink

This entry is a day late for a simple reason. My Internet provider sucks. I was offline for about 8 hours total yesterday, and during those brief periods when I was online I had to use the time for some real work.

Saturday I was in the mood for a little experimenting. I first had a beer that's been recommended to me several times by MisunderstoodGirl, Delerium Tremens. I guess I liked it, but I can't really explain why. There was nothing remarkable about it except its smoothness.

Next I had a little Chouffe Nice. Again, this was okay, but I think a little too fruity (tasting) for me to ever have another.

Next I ended my experimenting by having a Cone Smoker and an Anchor Christmas Ale.

One particular item of interest was LaptopGirl, dressed like a homeless person as usual, is proving to have quite a hot little body under all those rags and hippie clothes she wears. CoffeeDude agreed with me on this, as did some other guy that I don't know.

Saturday, January 10, 2004
posted by dave at 4:01 PM in category daily

The humidity in my house is 26%. That would be ridiculous under any circumstances, but it's even more ridiculous since I have a fancy humidifer doohickey as part of my heating system.

Looks like I'll need to get the guys that installed the system out here to see why it's so dry.

posted by dave at 3:58 PM in category daily, drink

Last night was perhaps the most crowded that I've ever seen Rich O's. It was standing-room only for most of the night.

To start off I had an Anchor Christmas Ale. I wanted to make sure I had at least one more before they ran out.

While drinking that first pint, I overheard the owner of Rich O's tell someone that they'd just tapped a new keg of Cone Smoker. I found this very interesting as it was the first time that I was definitely aware of a change. Of course I had to have one.

It was good, style #1 I'd say. I'm very curious to see how this new keg ages over the next couple of weekends - or however long it lasts.

Sunday, January 4, 2004
posted by dave at 7:33 PM in category daily

I've been told that I write too much about beer - that it seems like all I do is drink. Apparently this is a problem, though I don't know why. Hic.

Let's see, non-beer stuff. Hmmmm. Oh yeah, today I went to Home Depot to buy some new flourescent lights for my pool table. I wanted 8' 60-watt lights to match the two that weren't burned out. This idiot at Home Depot started an actual argument with me about what length lights I wanted. He said that pool table lights are 48" and not 8' and he knows this because he's some kind of pool god apparently. I guess he just works at Home Depot between big-time gambling sessions. The fucker was actually snickering when I walked away with my box of 8' lights.

On a completely unrelated note, what's up with all this damn rain we're having here? It's January godamned 4th and all it's done for the past week is rain. If it was thirty degrees colder, like it's supposed to be on January goddamned 4th, we'd have a foot of snow covering the other few feet of snow we'd have already had if it had been colder last week. If I wanted rain in December and January I would have stayed in Seattle.

Apparently in my pre-Christmas cleaning I managed to lose my November bank statement. So tonight I'm sitting here with December's, all ready to balance my checking account, but I can't because November's statement is gone. I suppose I can get a copy from my bank tomorrow. This just pushes me even further into the "Bah, Humbug" camp of Christmas observers.

posted by dave at 6:50 PM in category daily, drink

Started out simple tonight by having one of NABC's Community Dark pints. In the recent past this beer has been treated unfairly because I've been drinking it after much stronger beers - it always pales in comparison.

Well tonight it got in the first shots at my taste buds and I remembered why I liked it in the first place. It's full of malty sweetness (or sweet maltiness) and not much else. It has a low enough alcohol content to make it a very good session beer.

Next I had an Anchor Brewing 2003 Christmas Ale. I spent the entire pint trying to decide (a) if I liked it or not, and (b) what the hell I was drinking. Apparently Anchor changes the recipe for their Christmas Ale each year, and they keep that recipe pretty secret. If I had to guess I'd say the best way to describe this year's version would be "smoky nutmeg" but I could be way off base about the nutmeg part. There was definitely some smoky something in there. At the end I decided I did like it, but more than one in a given session would probably be too much.

Lastly I had a Cone Smoker, partly to verify that it was indeed smoke I'd been tasting in the Anchor Ale. It was, though it was more like the smoke in Schlenkerla Urbock Smokebeer than the smoke in Cone Smoker. Grapier.

About halfway through the Cone Smoker MisunderstoodGirl and TrumpetDude started talking about jazz. Every damn third word for over an hour was jazz. Blah blah jazz? Blah blah jazz. Blah blah jazz! If I ever hear the word jazz again in my life I may kill myself. Or maybe I'll just kill whoever says the word jazz instead.

Saturday, January 3, 2004
posted by dave at 3:51 PM in category daily, drink

As the Kentuckiana Death Flu is still trying to drag me down I wasn't even sure if I'd make it out last night, but after a long nap I started feeling better and went to Rich O's.

I'd been hoping to get another pint of Great Lakes Christmas Ale but alas, they had run out. I had a Cone Smoker and I'm still happy to report (knock on wood) that style #2 is still on tap.

My second "beer" was something called "Bad Elf" that I'm not going to even bother looking up because it's not worth the effort. Tasted like fermented Mazola Corn Oil, and not in a good way. Blech.

In a rare show of non-competiveness, Rich O's was also offering BBC Alt on tap so I had a couple of those followed by another Cone Smoker. The Alt, nestled as it was between Cone Smokers, was not as good as it's been in the past. It's also still the only beer I know of that tastes better in bottled form than draft form. That still didn't stop me from having two of them.

In attendance at Rich O's were several people from the New Year's party. I think I got most of their names right - though I continued to use nicknames in my head. MisunderstoodGirl showed up later and I was mysteriously glad to see her. She gave me an excuse to stop mingling with all the other regulars that were looking down at my BBC Alt.

Thursday, January 1, 2004
posted by dave at 3:40 PM in category daily

For the first time in a long time I actually went out for New Year's Eve.

I got hopelessly lost on the way there, and hopelessly lost when I left, but the time in-between was quite enjoyable.

Also enjoyable was finding MysteryLady at home and ringing in the new year again.

posted by dave at 3:35 PM in category daily, drink

First off, I'm a dumbass.

For those readers that may doubt that statement and require more proof I submit the following:

I've known for a month that I'd be going to a New Year's party. I've known for a month that I wanted to take a couple of growlers of beer from Rich O's to the party. I've known for a month that Rich O's would be closed all day on December 31st.

So what did I do with all this knowledge? I forgot to get beer from Rich O's on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.

Like I said, I'm a dumbass.

Anyway, what I ended up taking to the party was a six-pack each of BBC Alt and Great Lakes Porter. They're both good beers, and the porter especially was well-received, but compared to the Cone Smoker and Great Lakes Christmas Ale that I'd been planning to take, they were a little dull.

The porter was, however, the best porter I can remember having. The Great Lakes Brewery is now one of my favorites.

Sunday, December 28, 2003
posted by dave at 5:52 PM in category daily, drink, friends

Last night was a special occasion for a few reasons.

First, I was very pleased to see that my favorite style of Cone Smoker is still hanging in there at Rich O's. This is the longest that this beer has stayed drinkable yet.

Another high note last night was the appearance of my friend Eric, who I hardly ever get to see anymore. But that's as much my fault as his.

After my first Cone Smoker I tried a Bell's Winter White and did not like it even a little bit. Oh well, live and learn.

While I was choking down the Bell's Eric was enjoying a Great Lakes Christmas Ale. I had one as well, and I really liked it. No, really. Even though about 90% of the beers I try at Rich O's are, IMHO, crap, every now and then something good comes along. I will definitely have more of this when it's available.

I closed out the evening with another Cone Smoker, something I knew would finally wash the taste of the Bell's out of my mouth.

Let's see, also in attendance were DooRagGirl and DooRagGirl's husband. DooRagGirl I almost didn't recognize as she was without her trademark bandana.

Saturday, December 27, 2003
posted by dave at 7:31 PM in category daily, drink

Last night Rich O's was very crowded, probably because they were closed on Christmas.

Anyway, I broke my new rule right off the bat by having a Cone Smoker. It's still style #2, but it may be turning a little. I'll probably know tomorrow night.

Next I tried a Rogue Santa's Private Reserve, one of the Christmas beers currently being featured at Rich O's. I've never been a huge fan of any of the Rogue beers, with the exception of their rauchbier, and one again, Rogue proved to me to be a little too much frosting and too little cake. I tasted malt, malt, and more malt. It wasn't particularly bad, it just wasn't particularly good either.

Next, on MisunderstoodGirl's recommendation, I had a Mahr's Christmas Bock (Reviewer's Site).

I've never been a big fan of bock beers. I'm still not.

I spent quite a bit of time trying to come up with a way to describe this beer. MisunderstoodGirl was no help at all. I detected coffee, chocolate, malt, and hops, all in miniscule amounts. There were no citrus components to the taste and for that I was grateful.

All in all, it was an enjoyable evening. MisunderstoodGirl, TrainGirl, and Bubbles proved to be pretty good company, though I usually prefer more one-to-one interaction than the group interactions we had.

Sunday, December 21, 2003
posted by dave at 3:51 AM in category daily, drink

Tonight I arrived at Rich O's early, determined to sample their new Silent Oath and their Bourbondaddy, which I've had before, before they ran out.

The Bourbondaddy is a stout aged in a used bourbon barrel. I had this last year at about this time, and I remember liking it, but I don't remember much else about it. This time around I actually paid attention to what I was drinking. It's a little bitter at first, but after that it's very good. Nothing extremely special, it tastes the way it should - a medium stout with a little bourbon flavor added.

Next I tried the NABC's newest brew, Silent Oath. They're calling it a "Belgian Brown Ale" but I don't really know what that means so I'll call it "Newcastle with Apples in it." It was okay, and the apple undertones weren't that strong. I liked it.

Lastly, I had a Goose Island Christmas Ale, and I honestly couldn't tell the difference between it and their regular Nut Brown Ale. Perhaps this was because I'd already had a couple of pretty strong beers. I liked it, but I didn't see anything special about it.

I was contemplating trying another Christmas Ale but then MysteryLady surprised me by showing up so I had sex instead.

Saturday, December 20, 2003
posted by dave at 10:55 AM in category daily, drink

After I left my sister's house I went to Rich O's, partly to be around some adults, and partly to try their new belgian ale. Well I got my dates mixed up and the new ale won't be out until Saturday so I ended up just having a couple of Cone Smokers. Still style #2, and I'm still quite happy about that.

While we enjoyed our drinks, LaptopGirl, MisunderstoodGirl, and I hashed out some ideas for a cinematic masterpiece.

The girls are thinking more of an indy-film type of documentary, and while I think that it would be great for the 15 or so people that would actually see it, I think the idea would work much better as a weekly TV reality show.

Also, I think that LaptopGirl needs to drop the whole "obsessed with shoes" angle altogether unless she's wanting to make a fetish film.

posted by dave at 10:46 AM in category daily, family

Exchanged presents with my sisters' families last night. It definitely seems odd to be having Christmas on December 19, but everyone is so busy busy busy that last night ended up being the best time to do it I guess.

I got two of the things I'd specifically asked for (a Skewb Diamond puzzle and Robert Byrne's new book) as well as a cool cat calendar, a DVD, and a couple of cans of nuts.

Next on the festivities calendar is Christmas Eve, which will be at my house this year. That will be very strange, since it's been at my Grandma's house for my entire life.

Sunday, December 14, 2003
posted by dave at 10:42 AM in category daily, weather

Four inches of snow fell last night, and I'm sorry to admit that that's a lot of snow for this area these days.

This could end up being the biggest snowfall we get this season and that really sucks.

Winters were a lot more interesting when I was a kid.

Saturday, December 6, 2003
posted by dave at 11:41 PM in category daily, drink

Tonights tastings are bound to be slanted by two factors: the lack of sleep caused by last night's supernap, and the fact that I'm coming down with the Kentuckiana Death Flu or something.

Anyway, I went into Rich O's and actually followed my own advice by not making Cone Smoker my first beer of the night.

My first beer was, in fact, a Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar. It wasn't the worst beer I've ever tasted (that would be skunked Beck's Dark) and it wasn't the best (Alaskan Amber Ale) either but it was quite drinkable. It also solved a little mini-mystery of mine when I realized that the undefinable taste and smell could be attributed to hazelnuts, of all things.

My second experiment of the night was Spezial Rauchbeir Lager. Though this is supposedly a rauchbier, I could detect no smoke whatsoever. Perhaps someone working at the brewery is a chain-smoker, and that's how they feel justified in calling this a rauchbier.

Anyway, it was pretty good, for a lager. If I had to pick a single word to describe it, that word would be "thick" and that description would help no one.

Lastly, I had a Cone Smoker, and it was the best thing I had tonight. Its ever-changing flavor had landed back on style #1, which is really quite good. Smoke, malt, a slight hop background. Yummy.

posted by dave at 1:42 AM in category daily

Came home after work, laid(lied? lay? layed?) on the couch, and woke up seven hours later.

Perhaps it's time to start thinking about maybe considering going to bed earlier on weeknights.

Nah.

Monday, December 1, 2003
posted by dave at 7:04 PM in category daily

Went out yesterday with the sole purpose of buying some clothes hangers. About halfway to Target I remembered that Simon Cowell had a book out, so I detoured 20 miles to the closest Barnes & Noble to pick up a copy.

Well the book doesn't come out until tomorrow but did I let that stop me? Nooooooo! I went ahead and bought $150 worth of other books that I thought looked good.

If it's possible, I read too much. I'm currently reading "Darwin's Children" to closeout the story began in "Darwin's Radio." I'm also reading the Jessica Lynch book and trying to reread "Timeline" before I see the movie. My reading of the trilogy of "Hominids," "Humans," and "Hybrids" has been stalled for a month now - I'm still stuck in the first book.

When those are done I've got about a dozen books that I've been meaning to get to, and you can throw in a few more after yesterday's buying spree.

And oh yeah, I still have to go out tomorrow and buy Cowell's book because he might mention Kelly Clarkson in it.

Sunday, November 30, 2003
posted by dave at 11:44 AM in category daily, drink

After last week's fiasco I'm still feeling a little less than adventurous.

Last night I had some Newcastle at Hooter's, then went to Rich O's and had a couple pints of Upland's Bad Elmer's Porter.

This beer was a very refreshing surprise after the flavor overkill I've seen with stouts and porters lately. There was no chocolate, coffee, or dog shit taste. Just roasted malt, and not too much of that. I'd definitely drink it again.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003
posted by dave at 3:49 PM in category daily

I've noticed that the turkey I bought doesn't have one of those popup doohickeys to tell me when it's done.

I have zero confidence in my ability to place a meat thermometer correctly, so I'll probably either burn the house down or give myself food poisoning.

Happy Thanksgiving, one day early, just in case.

Saturday, November 22, 2003
posted by dave at 9:50 AM in category daily, drink

I hardly ever get a hangover. This is mostly because I'm such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol that I don't drink that much. It is possible, however, for a new beer to sneak up on me and whack me in the head repeatedly before I know what's coming.

My first beer at Rich O's last night was, as usual, a Cone Smoker. I'm tempted to call last night's glass a sample of yet another version of this Sybil of beers, but it was actually very close to version #5, with a slightly less bland background behind the smoke.

Next I was on to the experimentation phase of the night. The NABC has released a new Belgian-style pale ale called Merckx, and I had a small pint of that. The only word I can think of to describe it is "cloying." There didn't seem to be much of a distinct flavor, but what there was lingered for quite a while.

I next tried to order an Alaskan Smoked Porter, but they were out. The bartender then tried to kill me. She selected a bottle of Schlenkerla Urbock Smokebeer, reasoning that since I like smoky beer I should try what is perhaps the strongest entry in that field.

Well, the smoke was indeed very powerful. It was also quite a different type of smoky flavor than the Cone Smoker, Rogue Smoke Ale, or any other Rauchbier I've tried. I got a definite grapey taste from the smoke. I don't know if I would call it a good taste, but it certainly did the job of concealing the alcohol behind it.

After just two or three drinks I began to suspect that this would have to be my last beer of the night. After a couple more I started wondering if I would even finish the bottle.

I did manage to finish it and raced home before the alcohol still in my stomach could join its brethren in my bloodstream.

Now this morning I feel like shit and probably look worse.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003
posted by dave at 3:10 PM in category daily

Last week I sprained my wrist in bed.

Now, if you're smart, you'll stop reading right there. The facts of what happened will pale before whatever filthy scenario your mind is imagining now.

A glutton for punishment, huh? Okay, you asked for it.

I'm going to the effort of writing this account because I've told this story to about 351 people since this morning. In the future, when someone asks me about my wrist brace, I plan to just refer them to this site and go on with my life.

What happened is this - and really, this is very boring, so stop reading now - is that I was sleeping. I was alone. There were no handcuffs involved. Heck, even my cats had long since tired of my constant tossing and turning and escaped to more comfortable bedding, like the floor, or in Happy's case, the bathroom sink.

Anyway, I was sleeping. Sleeping on my left side, to be exact. My left hand was hanging over the edge of the mattress.

Here comes the exciting part.

I turned over.

Because of my sleeping condition I didn't remove my hand from the edge of the mattress before I turned over. I gave my wrist a pretty good jerk, and woke up saying a pretty bad word.

Two days later it still hurt so I went to the doctor. He told me to stop turning over and to wear this wrist brace.

Now, don't you wish you'd stopped reading back when your filthy mind thought I'd hurt my wrist during some orgy of depravity?

posted by dave at 12:28 PM in category daily, work

I can't believe that Cutie Pie* would do this to me.

She door dinged me. I had just arrived at work, and was still in my car getting my things together, when she pulled in next to me and opened her driver's door right into my passenger door! It was really a pretty good thumping, and when I turned to look, Cutie Pie just smiled at me, closed her door, and took off across the parking lot.

This is certainly not the first door ding on my Intrepid, but it's the first one I've witnessed while it happened.

Because that door already had several dings It's not like I'd want her to pay for the damages or anything. One thing I would have liked, however, would have been an "I'm sorry" or even an "Oops." I guess she figures that, because she is so cute, she can get away with this rude behaviour.

And the fact is that she can, at least with me and my Intrepid. Had it been my Monte Carlo I'd have asked for some type of immediate payment. Perhaps I'd have let her "work it off" if you know what I mean.

* - not her real name

Sunday, November 16, 2003
posted by dave at 2:05 AM in category daily, drink

Tonight I reacquainted myself with one of my favorite beers, Newcastle Brown Ale.

I had three glasses at Hooters with my cousin Jeff while waiting for MysteryLady to call. Hooters is one of the few places in the area with Newcastle on tap, and the half-naked women aren't bad either.

Newcastle Brown Ale

Newcastle is one of those beers that tastes good from the first sip of the first glass to the last drop of the third glass. It's as steady as a rock. Not as flavorful as some of the beers I've been drinking recently, but it's extremely well-balanced, and with only 5% or so ABV, it makes a very good session beer.

Later in the night MysteryLady and I went to Rich O's. This was a risk but our fears proved to be unfounded as nobody there knows her.

I had my obligatory Cone Smoker (Still style #1) and she had some Lindemann's Peche.

After my Cone Smoker I decided to try a little experiment.

I ordered a 10oz Guiness and a 10oz Rogue Shakespeare Stout and did a side-by-side comparison.

The Guiness, which I've had several hundred times before, is the standard by which I judge all other stouts. That said, the Rogue was pretty good.

Rogue Shakespeare Stout

Less bitter than the Guiness, and with more of a chocolate/coffee aftertaste. Definitely drinkable, but given a choice between Rogue and Guiness I'll always pick Guiness.

I also had a sip of Lindemann's Peche and, as I expected, it tasted like beer with peach juice in it. While I can understand its appeal to some, it's just not something I can see myself ever buying again.

Saturday, November 15, 2003
posted by dave at 9:02 PM in category daily, drink

Last night was certainly an interesting one.

The Good: My sister has gotten engaged, and we all met her and her boyfriend (fiance!) to congratulate them and share in the joy and all that mushy stuff.

The Bad: The bar where all the festivites took place carries no beer worthy of human consumption, so I settled for a couple of Diet Cokes and waited for an appropriate time to sneak out.

Seeing so many of my family members together at once got me thinking about my dad, and I decided to have a Falls City in his honor.

It wasn't the battery acid that I remember from the occasional sips I took as a kid. As lagers go, it's probably better than most American ones. That's not saying much though. Hoppy, with a little bit of a citrus tang that didn't make me want to vomit. Not after just one at least. I didn't risk another.

The Ugly: Apparently that's me. I was at Rich O's, drinking some Cone Smoker (Style #1 again) to remind myself why I drink, and having a very lively discussion with LaptopGirl about things ranging from England to beer to her ex-boyfriend.

LaptopGirl is quite cute, in a dorky way. Since I'm quite dorky in a cute way, we were clicking right along. Or so I thought. Right in the middle of a sentence LaptopGirl stopped and loudly told her girlfriend how cute she thought the guy standing next to me was. The guy overheard that and promptly moved to the head of the line for LaptopGirl's attention. They ended up leaving together shortly afterwards.

Thursday, November 13, 2003
posted by dave at 6:30 PM in category daily

Today I finally bit the bullet and went to the doctor about my wrist.

Tuesday, for about the zillionth time, I strained it during sleep and was awakened by the pain.

The doctor didn't really fix anything, he just told me to be more careful while I was sleeping. I still haven't figured out how to do that.

I also get to wear this incredibly sexy wrist brace for a while.

Interestingly, my regular doctor has mysteriously disappeared, and his office will only say that he's not going to be returning to the practice. So this doctor today was a new one for me. On the plus side, his receptionist is quite hot.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003
posted by dave at 6:10 PM in category daily, drink

During lunch in Cincinnatti today I looked over the sparse beer selection and chose to try Abita Amber since I'd never had it before.

I chose poorly.

Water with beer-flavoring added. The tap water taste overpowered the beer taste. Very unsatisfactory.

Sunday, November 9, 2003
posted by dave at 1:55 AM in category daily, drink

Last night's Friday Beer Report was preempted by a five hour nap, so I didn't go out last night at all.

Tonight, after the play, I went to Rich O's and sampled three beers.

First, the ever-changing Cone Smoker. I say ever-changing, although it's actually been pretty stable for the past few weeks. Not tonight.

Tonight it was a watered down Brady Bunch version of itself. Very little smoke, very little anything in fact. It kind of seemed like they'd mixed Cone Smoker with their Community Dark and ended up with a beer that would appeal to no one except old women and twelve year old boys.

For those keeping score at home:

Version #1: Good, well balanced, with a good smoky taste.
Version #2: Very strong smoke flavor, a little too strong at first but by the end of the glass the smoke seems just right. Very good batch. My favorite of all.
Version #3: No smoke at all. Hoppy taste predominates. If I wanted high gravity and hoppy taste I'd just order an Arrogant Bastard.
Version #4: See version #1.
Version #5: Smoky, but otherwise more bland than any other version so far.

And now, version #6: Combines the smokeless taste of version #3 with the blandness of version #5.

Next on the menu tonight was Kostritzer Black Beer. I was expecting a stout, and it did look like one, but the taste was more like a lager. There was, however, a bit of chocolate and roasted malt taste that seemed pretty well balanced. Overall a bit bland.

Speaking of bland, the next beer I tried was Rogue's American Amber. This beer reminded me a lot of Community Dark except it was a little less sweet. And what, you may ask, is Community Dark without the sweetness? Iced tea, that's what.

I finished off the night with a draft root beer, and that was the best drink I had tonight.

Saturday, November 1, 2003
posted by dave at 10:12 AM in category daily, drink

Not much to report in the way of new beers for last night. I had two Cone Smokers, still style "A" so I think they've got the recipe down pat now.

After those I tried to drink a pint of Anchor Liberty Ale. I say tried because I just couldn't stomach the shit. I don't know if it was just clashing with the Cone Smoker or if it would suck just fine on its own. I'm pretty sure it didn't need any help to suck.

Anchor Liberty Ale

(draft) The citrusy smell and taste reminded me of the Pilsner Urquel from a couple of weeks ago, except that Libery Ale was even worse. It tasted like beer and orange juice mixed. Blech.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
posted by dave at 8:23 PM in category daily, drink, travel

While in Seattle the last few days I drank Alaskan Amber every chance I got, since I didn't (and still don't) know when I'll get another chance. There were a couple of places that for some insane reason didn't carry it though, so I got to add a couple new beers to my "tried" list.

First was at a little pub in Issaquah where Gene, my boss Tom, and I went after having dinner across the street. The place had a dozen or so Rogue beers, and for some goofy reason, Bud Light and Coors Light. That's it. Nothing else.

After searching the taps and the list of bottled beers I found "Rogue Smoke Ale (AKA: Rauchbier)" and that sounded intriguing. It came in a pretty cool bottle that I was going to keep but the bartender took it.

Rogue Smoke

(draft) It was a good beer, not nearly as smoky as I'd been hoping, but the smoke flavor and aroma was still pretty apparent. It had a less wide-ranging and complex flavor than the Cone Smoker I get when I'm back home.

On Monday I met one of my former bosses for a couple of beers near where I used to work (it was quite strange to be taking that exit off hwy 520 again) and once again, they didn't carry Alaskan Amber.

What they did carry, and I've had this before, this:

Mac & Jack's African Amber

This beer is quite simply excellent. Brewed and sold only in the Northwest, it's exemplifying a level of quality and taste that all microbreweries should strive to meet instead of just churning out random recipies with unusual labels.
Monday, October 27, 2003
posted by dave at 4:20 PM in category daily, drink, travel

I can hardly describe how much these past two days have helped my mood. I'm more relaxed and happy than I've been in months. Seeing all of my friends in the Seattle area was just the therapy I needed - even though I didn't know I needed therapy.

And not just my friends. Even those people who I'd only count as "friendly acquaintances" were all a welcomed sight. People who I barely remember have been coming up to me, shaking my hand, and reliving moments from the old days with me. Man, I sure got to know a lot of people while living here.

Yesterday Gene and I played pool for several hours during the day, and I'll post about that in the pool 'blog. Last night I went back to The Sports Pub in Kent, mainly to see Holly. It was league night there and I got to see even more people and catch up on even more old times.

Holly was of course happy to see me, though perhaps not as happy as I was to see her still doing well. She made me drink a couple of shots and that's something I would only do for her. After a shot of Jagermeister and a shot of peppermint schnapps, plus four Alaskan Ambers, I ended up staying until after midnight drinking Diet Cokes and waiting for the alcohol to wear off.

During another late breakfast at Shari's I began to dread the impending end of my vacation. My boss will be arriving tomorrow and then it's back to work.

Still, coming on this trip, and especially coming up here early, may have been the best two ideas I've had in years. The knowledge that I touched so many people when I lived here, most of them positively, really makes me feel good about myself and my ability to make friends wherever I go.

Now if I can just figure out a way to get to Omaha to see all my friends there.

Sunday, October 26, 2003
posted by dave at 1:37 PM in category daily, drink, travel

I'm back!

In Seattle, that is. Landed yesterday evening after a day of flying and was pretty tired until I left the airport. That's when the old familiar sights got me quite excited. Even the long drive from the airport to Bellevue, then from Bellevue to Kent, seemed like an old friend welcoming me back. You drive a stretch of freeway at 5 mph for three years, as I did when I lived here, and you get to know that stretch pretty well.

So like I said, I went from the airport to Bellevue to check into my hotel. I just threw my luggage in the room and left immediately for Kent.

My excitement level had reached a peak by the time I arrived at my old hangout, The Sports Pub. I was greeted by my friend Gene as soon as I went in, then I walked around and said hello to everyone else I knew from the old days. I was a little surprised that there were so many people there that remembered me, and that I remembered as well.

Another thing I did pretty much right away was order myself an Alaskan Amber. Wow, still as fantastic as ever. Absense makes the heart grow fonder they say, and I was as fond of that beer, and the three others I had, as any I can remember. Even the frosted glass (I'd forgotten about that) couldn't kill the perfect balance of that Juneau treasure.

Alaskan Amber

(draft) My favorite session beer. Perfectly balanced sweetness, bitterness, and maltiness. Too bad I have to fly 2000 miles to get it.

The place was pretty crowded, more than I remember, so Gene and I ended up playing scotch doubles against a couple of other guys. I'll post about the pool itself in the pool blog, but to summarize: we should have won every game and we won most of them.

I was a little disappointed that Holly wasn't working last night. I'll definitely need to catch her there on Sunday. One pleasant surprise was the appearance of Reeny, an bartender from the old days who remains the most beautiful woman I've ever known in person.

Bars in Washington close at 2:00, so Gene and I had a long breakfast at Shari's (another big deja vu!) and I made my way back to the hotel at around 3:30.

Saturday, October 18, 2003
posted by dave at 10:01 PM in category daily

Tonight my sister Dina, her boyfriend Kenny, my cousin Jeff and I traveled to Henryville to check out the haunted house where my nephew Cory is working.

It's been several years since we went to any Halloween attractions. I don't think we really outgrew them we just lost our patience for the lines. And, in my case at least, for the kids that typically form those lines.

Well there were no lines at this place tonight, mainly because it's in Henryville but also because it's pretty stupid when compared to the higher priced attractions closer to Louisville.

The place is set inside an old farmhouse, but before we got to that part we got to take "the adult path" through some trees. The scariest thing about the trees for me was the fear that I'd trip on a root and sprain my ankle. The aura of doom was not helped by the miniature amusement park these people had set in their front yard.

After leaving the trees we were greeted by Cory who informed us that the place wasn't quite open yet, and that he would be playing a dead guy and that he was supposed to be wearing a tux but they couldn't find it and several people were late for work and blah blah blah you know how kids tend to ramble don't you well if you didn't before you do now after reading this sentence.

We eventually made our way past some portable toilets and a very bored-looking policeman to the house itself. Shortly thereafter we were met by a lovely young girl with impossibly large tits. I think her costume was "Jail Bait" or possibly "Elvira, The Early Years". Anyway, she pretty much cleared up the mystery of why my nephew was working there every weekend until 3am.

Titella gave us a little speech about how if we didn't touch the actors inside they wouldn't touch us. She seemed quite bored and I'm sure her back was giving her trouble.

Inside the house were several rooms and passages, each with its own little scary theme. People jumping out at you and shit like that. For me the scariest moment was about ten feet in where they had this 500 year old woman "sleeping" in front of a piano. I was convinced that Methusula's grandma there was going to shriek and start banging out some tune. Well, she didn't do a damn thing but the fear was still there for me.

The entire house was fairly tame and predictable. There were a couple of highlights though. At the top of the stairs a young lass was tied up and pleading for help. While I was thinking about what a good little actress she was a guy came in and sliced her up with a razor.

A little further along we came upon the scene where Cory lay in all his gory glory. He was indeed, a dead guy, a Dead Groom in fact, and he'd apparently been killed (or it was a really huge coincidence) by The Vampire Bride laying on top of him. Now I knew without a doubt why he was working there. Even with all the vampire makeup on I could tell that this was a little cutie, and Cory's "job" was to lay under her all night. Titella, I knew, would have to get in line behind The Vampire Bride to have a shot at my nephew's affection.

Let's see, there was also an amputation scene where The Nurse waved A Severed Leg around while The Victim did her best to shatter every eardrum in Scott County.

I suppose that's about it, except that there seems to be a rule that Michael Myers is required to harass my sister since the same character did the same "get up close and stare" routine with her five years ago at Nightmare Forest.

posted by dave at 12:28 AM in category daily, drink

After a long after-work nap I went to Rich O's tonight. The first beer I had was my local favorite Cone Smoker. I've already said that this beer fluctuates quite a bit, and tonight it had done it again. I've gotten to where I always order a small sampling of Cone Smoker before I commit to a 20oz. pint. Tonight's version was very drinkable, though not my favorite. To review:

Version #1: Good, well balanced, with a good smoky taste.
Version #2: Very strong smoke flavor, a little too strong at first but by the end of the glass the smoke seems just right. Very good batch. My favorite of all.
Version #3: No smoke at all. Hoppy taste predominates. If I wanted high gravity and hoppy taste I'd just order an Arrogant Bastard.
Version #4: See version #1.
Version #5: Smoky, but otherwise more bland than any other version so far.

Also on the menu tonight was Rockies Brewing Company's Hazed and Infused, part of Rich O's Hops festival.

Hazed and Infused

(draft) Much blander than I was expecting. Just a beer, neither great nor horrible. I'm starting to think I've got the wrong idea that hoppy must mean bitter.

The Hazed and Infused reminded me of a pretty famous beer, Pilsner Urquel from the Czech Republic. I decided to have a Pilsner to see if the similarity was just in my head.

It kindof was in my head. I've had Pilsner Urquell before and enjoyed it, but tonight I couldn't even drink half the glass. There was a strong orange peel sensation that I just couldn't stomach. As I said, I've enjoyed this beer before, so I think tonight it just clashed too much with the Cone Smoker I'd had earlier.

Pislner Urquell

(draft) Citrusy piss. I recall having this a long time ago and somewhat enjoying it, but my last attempt caused me to swear that I'll never let this touch my lips again.
posted by dave at 12:07 AM in category daily, travel

I found out today that I get to go to Seattle for four days starting next weekend!

I'm going there ostensibly for work reasons, but since that part will only take one day and I'm leaving two days early I'll have Saturday night, Sunday, and most of Monday to catch up with my friends in the area.

I called Gene, one of my best frends anywhere and certainly my best friend in Seattle, to let him know the news. I put him in charge of social coordination for my stay. All I asked is that I get to a place that serves Alaskan Amber Ale, a brew that I've really missed since leaving Seattle in '98.

Saturday, October 11, 2003
posted by dave at 11:25 PM in category daily, drink

Tonight I met up with my sister and her boyfriend at Rich O's for a couple of beers. It was very nice indeed to see my sister who's become quite a stranger to me this past year. Also nice was to get another chance to get to know her boyfriend who my sister seems crazy about.

There were a couple of other highlights to the evening. For one, LaptopGirl made an appearance. She's still very cute in a dorky way - quite intriguing. Also making an appearance tonight were DooRagGirl and her husband. DooRagGirl may be pretty much the perfect woman for me - back when I was in my late 20s. We spent a while talking while her husband talked to CoffeeDude.

Besides my usual Cone Smoker, I had another beer with the word "Thumper" in the name. For a beer featured during a hop festival this wasn't bad at all. Very close to the "lipshitz Goze" or whatever it was I had a couple of weeks ago.

Monday, October 6, 2003
posted by dave at 9:37 PM in category daily

Two times in three weeks our local NBC affiliate WAVE has changed cable channels. My TiVos caught the first change after a couple of days. The second change has gone unnoticed by TiVo for a week now.

I tried to call TiVo today to complain about this, but they wouldn't even talk to me without my TiVo serial number. Since I called from work I didn't exactly have that number handy. I decided to go to their web page to send them a complaining e-mail, and wouldn't you know it, you can't even send them an e-mail without your serial number.

Had to wait until I got home to call. They blame my cable company for not notifying them of the second lineup change, so I called Insight to ask them to do so.

My question is, "Am I the only Insight customer in the Louisville area with a Tivo?" I can't believe nobody else has called to complain about the lineup error before me.

Saturday, October 4, 2003
posted by dave at 10:32 PM in category daily, drink

...there's good beer.

Cone Smoker is back! After a couple of weeks of suckiness Rich O's has moved onto a new batch of Cone Smoker and it's got the smoke once again.

What a delicious brew! My only complaint and this is only because I'm such a lightweight, is that at 7.3% ABV the Cone Smoker beer is a little too strong for me to build an evening around it. Two 20oz. glasses and I'm done.

Despite the high gravity, I'm still delighted to see Cone Smoker back in its enjoyable form. I've now tasted four distinct batches, and experienced three distinct tastes. To review:

Batch #1: Good, well balanced, with a good smoky taste.
Batch #2: Very strong smoke flavor, a little too strong at first but by the end of the glass the smoke seems just right. Very good batch. My favorite of all.
Batch #3: No smoke at all. Hoppy taste predominates. If I wanted high gravity and hoppy taste I'd just order an Arrogant Bastard.
Batch #4: See batch #1.

This beer is rapidly becoming one of my favorites. Once they pick a style and stick with it it may even surpass Alaskan Amber as my all-time favorite beer.

Tonight, in between glasses of Cone Smoker, I also tried a pint of BBC's Bearded Pat's Barleywine Ale.

This was my first taste of a barleywine, and I suppose it was okay. Just imagine regular wine without any grapey taste, and add a hint of hops. That's what tasted like. It was okay, but I cannot imagine having more than one in an evening. This has been described to me as a "World-class Barleywine" and I trust the source of that recommendation. I'll just add barleywine to the list of beer styles that I've tries and found acceptable but not great.

posted by dave at 9:36 AM in category daily, drink

As a frequent traveler to Alaska during the 1990s, I grew to love one particular Alaska product even more that its spectacular scenery. Alaskan Amber beer was first thrust upon me in a small bar in Juneau and I've loved it ever since. when I can get it.

The problem with living in Indiana is that even the best source for beer (Rich 0's) cannot get me this fine brew, so I've managed to find several other beers that I like almost as much as Alaskan Amber.

Usually my substitute was Newcastle Brown Ale, an excellent beer in its own right. But recently, and for some reason that I cannot fathom even though they tried to explain it to me, Rich O's pulled Newcastle draft from its rotation.

It was about then that I recalled the little tag at the bottom of Alaskan Amber's bottles - "Alt Style Beer" - and something clicked. "Alt" is a class of beer, not just a marketing gimmick. I quickly remember that Louisville's own Bluegrass Brewing Co. has its own beer called BBC Alt.

Well Rich O's didn't have this on tap but they do carry it bottled so I ordered one. Wow. This stuff is so close to the Alaskan Amber that I've been missing that I've been kicking myself for not discovering it sooner. Since then I've made it a point to go to the BBC BrewPub once a month or so to enjoy some real Alt beer on tap.

BBC Alt

(draft) That nice copper color was a welcome sight to an old altbier drinker. This beer has a pretty good balance - maybe a little on the bitter side. I also think it's changed a little for the worse since the brewery split apart several months ago.

Last weekend I heard two things about the BBC. They've got a second location in downtown Louisville - much closer to both my home and to my favorite pool hall - and they're experiencing some kind of split within their company. Last night I went to the closer location and enjoyed some BBC Alt on tap. It was as good as ever. The bartender wasn't clear (or wouldn't tell me) which BBC faction would end up with the Alt after the split. It's probably their biggest seller and I'm sure both sides want it.

Saturday, February 20, 1965
posted by dave at 1:41 AM in category daily

I was just born.

It was not boring.

And who is that lady doing all the screaming?

mysterious gray box mysterious blue box mysterious red box mysterious green box mysterious gold box

search main 'blog

Year

Month

Category

Author

Search word(s)
   help me!

blog favorites

searching
awakening
the convenience of grief
apology
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
paradise
nothing personal
the one
dream sweet dreams for me
the willow bends and so do i
on bloodied ground
r.i.p.
lack of inertia
gray
thinning the herd
or maybe not
here's looking at you
what i miss
peril
who wants to play?
feverish thoughts
the devil inside?
perseverance
my cat ate my homework
don't say i didn't warn you
forgiveness
my god, it's full of stars
hold on a second, koko, i'm writing something
you know?
apples and oranges
happy new year
pissing on the inside
ramblings
remembering dad


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.