Just a quick update for anyone planning to stalk me in Las Vegas.

I arrive at 3:49 tomorrow afternoon on Continental flight 697 from Houston. After landing, I will of course head to the baggage claim area, but at first I'll be outside the doors having a smoke or two.

If any of my stalkers want to give me a ride to The Luxor, just hold up a big sign with my name on it. I'll be on the lookout.

If there's more than one person holding a sign, I'll use a double-blind squeeze test and go with the person with the nicest breasts.

After I check in at The Luxor I'll have some free time for a while, but I need to get over to The Rio at some point so I can go to The Tilted Kilt. I may be meeting my friend Gene from Seattle there. I don't know because I haven't called him yet.

For those of you planning some late-night stalking, please keep in mind that whenever I go to Las Vegas the time change usually wipes me out by midnight on that first night.

I really feel like I should be more excited about this trip than I am. I feel like I'm going in the wrong direction. Probably because I am. Fucking timing is everything.

8:40
Very crowded, but the sofa and the throne are open. I of course grab the throne. I order a bottle of Rogue Chocolate Stout (820) and wave at my friends sitting with some weirdoes at the island.

8:45
That one slut and a couple of her friends have taken over the sofa.

8:50
I've had a bad feeling about tonight. I still have a bad feeling about tonight. I may end up wishing that I'd just stayed home.

8:56
That one slut's friend keeps trying to talk to me. Doesn't she realize that I'm trying to compose myself here? And that I'm failing?

9:09
She just gave me her card. Subtle.

9:10
She keeps telling me her name. Like I care.

9:20
The weirdoes have left the island, so I'm moving up there to sit with MusicalHippyDude and GlassesGirl. That one slut's friend is devastated.

9:30
Just talked to SassyGirl on the phone. She is weird.

9:40
Piss time.

9:42
Another Rogue (842). Yummy.

10:12
I'm bored.

10:14
I'm also a lightweight.

10:20
Piss time.

10:22
GlassesGirl may be developing an unhealthy fascination with my bodily functions.

10:24
Some woohoos have taken over one of the red room tables.

---

After that I didn't take any more notes.

SassyGirl and JauntyGirl came in for a while. I switched to Diet Coke and we all just sat around and bullshitted.

I came home at around midnight and thought for a while about what a huge fucking mistake I've made.

My muteness has a motive, my restraint a reason, my caution a cause.

All will eventually be revealed. Or not. We'll see.

I stand at the edge of this abyss and I wish for a gust of wind to send me tumbling. Just a tiny push. That's all the justification that I'd need.

My patience has a purpose, my resolve a reward, my determination a destination.

All will eventually be revealed.

Or not.

We'll see.

...but sometimes, no matter how strange a realization it may be and no matter how stupid you may feel when you admit it to yourself, sometimes The Beatles will turn out to have been right all along.

Stolen from gogo.

Generate your own at The Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" generator page.

I've been working on embedding videos, and I guess it's time to test it in public.

I don't sing, and I don't dance. What I do is shoot pool and drink beer. Since a video of me drinking beer would be quite boring except to my most devout stalkers, here is a video of me shooting pool and almost accomplishing something.

Please let me know if it displays okay. This requires Flash 8 I guess. And probably a broadband connection.

10:30
I'm supposed to be writing something now.

At least that's the excuse I gave the PBDs when I left their little group and moved up here to the island. I've got my notebook open, my pen in hand. Just in case they look, I need to appear to be writing something so they're not offended because I left.

Truth is, though, that I've got nothing.

My mind is so full of shit tonight that it seems to have seized up. Like the proverbial wrench in the works, a certain thought has entered my head and totally jammed everything.

All of my emotions are pitted against each other.

It's a stalemate, so far.

I am so sad that I could sing and dance. I am so happy that I could slit my wrists. I am overflowing with nothingness. I am upside-down, inside-out.

I am Opposite Man.

I curse my blessings while I relish my failings. The silence deafens me and the darkness blinds me. I am dizzy from the stillness. I am calmed by the chaos.

This gray place has erupted in colors, and I am repulsed by the beauty that suddenly surrounds me.

The die has been cast, and its flight is my world. When it lands, when it stops, then so do I.

It will be horribly wonderful.

I will love it.

And I will hate that I love it.

Anyway, tonight Rich O's was only about half-full. This was fantastic, especially after last night. I sat on the loveseat and enjoyed my Piraat (175) and talked with some dude that claimed to know me although I didn't have the foggiest idea who he might be. It sucks getting old.

After a bit, the stranger in the throne left so I moved there. A bunch of PBDs joined me and we spent the next couple of hours talking about nothing much.

My second beer was an NABC Community Dark (220). I had to pace myself, see, after the 10.5% Piraat.

I talked to the PBDs, and I talked to SassyGirl on the phone for a bit. It was a nice and calm and relaxing night.

I hated it.

My third beer was supposed to be a Hoegaarden, but they were out, so I had a yummy Weihenstephaner (1451) instead.

They closed up early. Before 11:00 even. So I went to White Castle and then came home.

Actually, London is not calling, but that wouldn't nearly as clever a subject.

London is not even leaving any comments.

C'mon, London!

I don't bite.