posted by dave on Saturday, April 9, 2005 at 5:03 PM in category ramblings

A while ago I wrote about how anxious I was to become whole again.

I'd completely evaporated in the Fall, and I was finally starting to see some semblance of a personality develop in me. No more would I be a walking, talking, collection of symptoms. I'd be an actual person.

Well, that coalescence has finally happened. I finally feel whole again.

That's the good news.

The bad new is: I think I might be kind of a dick.

Allow me to 'splain.

I'm finding everything funny. Even things that are decidedly not funny. And it's not just that I'm laughing on the inside all the time, it's the kind of laughing that I'm doing. It's like inside my head are those guys from Mystery Science Theater. Everything I do and say is accompanied by this running internal commentary of sarcasm and dark humor.

Another thing is that I'm very quick to irritation. I seem to be unable to keep anything bottled up at all. People piss me off without even trying, and I take the most innocent actions and words as personal attacks. And the guys in my head crack jokes about them, their shortcomings, their heritage, whatever.

This irritation, this mocking attitude - these are not attributes that I thought I'd end up with.

My God, I've turned into my grandfather after all! My sister was right!

When I start calling my nieces and nephews "damn brat" and wearing coveralls every single day of my life then I'll know for sure.

Oh well, from what I understand PaPaw got a lot of action. So I guess I have that to look forward to. Plus, I get to keep accumulating old electronic junk and never ever get rid of anything.

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