Found this in my inbox this morning.

Hey,

Don't know if this is going to work or not.

I'm aiming at the middle of 2005, but they tell me that there's a two-year margin of error at this distance. If you're reading this in 2003, then you're not going to know what the fuck I'm talking about. If you don't get it until 2007, well you'll have all this figured out on your own by then.

Anyway, it's me. Or perhaps I should say it's you. I'm writing from the future. They won't let me say how far into the future. They won't let me say a lot of shit actually. This technology is pretty new here and people are still nervous that somebody's going to upset the timeline and make the universe implode or something. So they're reading and pre-approving all messages into the past, making sure that nobody breaks any of their precious rules.

So, dear Dave, that means that I won't be giving you any stock tips, or winning lottery numbers, or Kentucky Derby Winners. Because that would make us rich and we just can't have that apparently. Oh the horror!

What I'll will give you here, as long as it passes the censors, is some advice.

It will get better. You know it's got to happen eventually. I myself am certain of it, because it did happen. It's all been a big misunderstanding anyway. Things will work out. Maybe not the way you want them to, but if my memory serves me right, you don't really have a clue how you want things to work out.

Eventually, you'll look back at this time and laugh, just like I laughed when reading all this crap you've been posting. To think, it all could have been averted at any time with

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and a little bit of patience. You will get everything you need, just not everything you want. And that's okay because you don't know what either of those things are. Oh, you think that you do, but you're so young. I can't believe that

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ago, I was as naive as you are.

So my advice to you is simple, and it's not even necessary. You already know what you have to do. Just fucking do it for once instead of doing nothing and then whining about it.

If you do this, things will start to get better. Stop being such a pussy.

Your lovely self,

Dave