The other day, on the way to Rich O's, I found myself thinking about someone.
I found myself thinking about someone else!
Now to anyone that knows me, either personally or through reading this 'blog for anything more than a few months, this probably comes as a big shock.
I know it came as a big huge ginormous shock to me.
Shit, for over a year and a half, there was only one person that I thought about as I went to Rich O's. At first I'd hope she'd be there. After a while I'd hope that her ghost would be there. Then I started hoping that she wouldn't be there.
Rich O's had become, because that's where we met, and because that's where we became whatever the fuck we became, and because that's where I missed her the most, Rich O's had become pretty much synonymous with her.
Until the other day, when I found myself hoping that someone else would be there.
I'll say it again because it feels so good to say it.
Some of you are probably, right now as you're reading this, trying to figure out just who I mean. Some of you already have a theory, I'm sure. You're probably wrong, and I'm not going to say who it is. It doesn't matter, and I'm not going to repeat every mistake I've ever made. I'm capable of learning from my mistakes. Really.
The point I want to make is - it doesn't matter who it is, just that it's not....
Well, everyone knows who it's not.
This is a huge fucking deal! Not that I chose this particular person to think about, but that I finally became capable of choosing anyone at all. It was never a choice before. At least not a conscious one.
Like everything else, I don't expect this to last. I know that my heart will slip back into its comfort zone eventually.
It's like the changing seasons. You have some warm days and some cold days and then eventually Summer is upon you, and Winter is over. I know that more cold days are coming, but maybe, just maybe, this long Winter is finally coming to an end.