posted by dave on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 at 3:42 AM in category messaging

(response to message)

Dont(sic) you find it funny that your(sic) putting MSG thru the exact same things that LG is putting you thru?
Well, firstly, I don't think that funny is the word I'd use here, but I think I know what you mean.

The situations are similar, but that's about it.

I was thinking I'd go over some of the differences between these two situations, but the first (and main) thing I need to say here is that nobody is putting anyone else through anything. Those of us that are hurting here, we are doing this to ourselves. To accuse me of putting someone else through something painful implies that I'm doing it intentionally. That's just not the case. I do everything I can to keep from hurting causing MSG any more pain. I believe that LG would prefer that I didn't hurt either. There's no malice here, in either situation.

(I may write something here that could be seen as disparaging. That is not my intention. I'm just stating the facts as I see them.)

I guess that most obvious difference would have to be the fact that MSG and I had an actual romantic relationship. We tried, more than once, to keep that spark going, but it just became too difficult. Her hang-ups, my baggage - it was just too much. Whatever, it makes a little bit of sense that she'd develop some feelings for me during that time. I am a pretty good guy after all.

LG and I, on the other hand, had nothing more than a friendship that turned out to be mostly one-sided. The fact that nobody at the bar believes that it never went beyond that doesn't make it any less true.

MSG and I have talked dozens (hundreds? thousands?) of times about what was going on between us. This type of open and honest communication has been, and continues to be, one of the cornerstones of what I hope will be a long friendship. I've been honest, at times brutally honest, with her at all times, and she has done the same with me.

LG and I have never talked about any of this at all. For this I mostly blame my own fears. Mostly.

MSG knows pretty much all there is to know about me. She knows me as well as anyone ever has. She knows my strengths and my weaknesses. She knows my hopes and my fears. Her heart has been able to make an informed decision about me and her feelings for me.

Everything that I think I know about LG is based on my emotions and feelings and my own sense of the potential in her. I have very little firsthand knowledge about what kind of person she really is.

MSG wanted to have feelings for someone.

I didn't.

MSG still wants to have these feelings.

I don't.

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