(This entry makes reference to the journalspace version of my 'blog. JS has this dealy where they show a graph of how many visitors you have on any given day. That's the green bar I'm talking about.)

It's all Nat's fault.

Yesterday, she sent zillions of her readers over here. My ranking probably jumped 500 places in one day. Like from 3000th place to 2500th or so.

It was kind of neat, seeing that green bar that indicates the number of visitors stretch all the way across the screen. I actually felt like a real 'blogger for a while.

But today, I'm back to normal.

All those pinguicularians, and none of them came back?

Talk about a buzz killer.

I've seen the same thing happening at barenada.com, too. Readers are leaving the building, and starting to picket outside. They carry signs demanding bring back the pain! and we want misery! They chant lap top GIRL! lap top GIRL! you miss HER! write about THAT! or we'll LEAVE!

But those are my long-term readers. Most of them have never known me when I wasn't tormented. They are finding out just how boring I can be. They know that I can do better, and that's why they march outside instead of simply going home. They know that I could snap, any minute now, and start rambling. Just like the good old days.

The new people, the pinguicularians - they know nothing of that. Nat tells them to come over here, and they do. Then they ask themselves, "Why the fuck should I read this bozo? He's fucking boring!"

And I am. And I know it. What I don't know is if it's temporary or not. What I don't know is, if it ends, how it will end.

See me tomorrow, I just may have a story to tell. I'll at least be able to stop holding my breath, and maybe that'll be worth writing about.