Sometime, in the next few days, I've got a decision to make.

Nothing Earth-shattering, except to me. It's just one of those things that, if I choose one way, I'll probably regret it for a very long time. But if, on the other hand, I chose the other way, I'll probably regret it for a very long time.

Hence my dilemma.

Of course, I could get lucky. I could die sometime in the next couple of days, thus sparing myself the burden of this impossible decision.

Yes, I'm kidding about the dying part.

A little bit anyway.

This fucking deadline is fast approaching, and yet I continue to procrastinate. This is not the way I used to be. Not the way I want to be. I want to be able to, simply and calmly, weigh the pros and cons of each choice, and then make a choice. Belly up. Be a man. Even if it's nothing more than the proverbial lesser of two evils, it's at least a choice that I make. Even if I choose incorrectly, at least it's an actual decision instead of another fucking cop-out.

This should not be that difficult. Chances are that nobody but me would ever even notice which choice I ended up making. So then why is it so damn hard to fucking decide?

Man, I'm saying fucking a lot in this entry. Hi, Grandma!