I wonder what will happen, the next time I see her, look into her eyes.
I knew the answer to that question once, but I was wrong. A few months later, I knew the answer once again, but I was wrong again.
And now? Now I don't know what will happen.
Will I become lost again? Will I become terrified again? Will I die again?
What if I look into her eyes, and nothing happens?
I think that if nothing happens, then I will be sad.
It would be like waking up from a beautiful dream, and knowing that I may never see anything as beautiful as that dream again. It would be like waking up from a nightmare, and knowing that I may never again feel anything as strongly as I felt that fear.
It would be like waking up from death, and realizing that waking up was the easy past, and that I must now find something to live for. Something else.
Yes, I think that if nothing happens, then I will be sad.