posted by dave on Wednesday, February 8, 2006 at 10:41 PM in category ramblings

One simple, stupid thing. That's all I asked her for. That's all I'd ever asked her for. I asked her to not leave, again, without giving me a chance to say goodbye. Again.

I asked, and she agreed.

I reminded her over the phone the next day, and she agreed. Again.

I actually fucking believed her.

That was the last time I ever spoke to her, heard her voice. Two days later she was gone. Again. There was no goodbye. Again.

Was she fucking with me all along? Did she ever have any intention of granting me that one simple thing that would have lifted my spirits to heights I'd been unable to even imagine a week earlier? Was it a conscious decision? Was she laughing at me the entire time?

When she planned out her trip, did she specifically write Crush Dave. Again. on her calendar and circle the date? Did she look forward to that day when I'd realize what had happened, even more than she looked forward to seeing her friends and family, and visiting her old hangouts? Is her only regret that she couldn't be there to see me finally crumble? To shit on me one last time?

That was the first thing I ever asked of her. I thought it would also be the last thing, but it wasn't.

The last thing was six months later, when she showed up. Again. I ran out the door, and I sent her a text message, asking her to leave me alone.

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