I'd like to think that there'll be no doubt, when I meet her.

I'd like to think that, but recent and not so recent events in my life have convinced me that this will most likely not be the case. There will be doubt, and there will be fear, and there will be insecurity and indecision and hesitance.

What there will be, most of all I think, is disbelief.

For when I meet her, whoever she might be, and I find myself thinking about her and longing for her and wanting her and not that other girl that, let's be honest, isn't much more than a memory to me now - How could I just blindly accept what was happening to me?

Is it really possible to blow your only chance at love and then discover that it wasn't really your only chance at all? That it was just another in a series, another rung in a ladder?

That it was all really just leading up to something new and better and maybe this time interconnecting and interlocking and interacting?

Requited love. Wouldn't that be something?

I guess I'll believe it when I see it.

I'm still waiting.