Well now I can't sleep anymore.
Okay, maybe I'll be able to sleep again at some point in my life, but it certainly won't be before I write this dream down. I'm a little bit freaked-out.
It was the usual crowd at Grandma's house. Not really a party, just a get-together to recognize that it was Grandma's birthday.So, a pretty weird dream, huh?I was there, as were my sisters and their kids, my uncles and aunts, and a couple of cousins. I remember being surprised to see my sister Neisha there because the event wasn't being held in Salem.
We were all just sort of milling about trying our best not to say anything that would make Grandma cry. A tall order, that's what that is.
I was sitting in a recliner, and my uncle Stan plopped right down into my lap. Like he didn't even see me. But then he realized that I was there and moved over to the chair next to Grandma. He was trying to reach around her to get to the phone but his leg or hip was bothering him, and I could tell that it was causing him pain to reach like that. So I got up to get the phone for him. He saw me doing this, and just before I reached the phone he summoned some extra strength and grabbed it himself.
I thought that was weird.
I hadn't seen anything yet.
I went into Grandma's bathroom to splash some water on my face and get away from the crowd for a minute or two. When I turned away from the sink Grandma was shuffling toward me from the toilet. Yikes! I hadn't even seen her there! And the door hadn't been locked!
I started to stammer out an apology as I reached for the doorknob and pulled the door open to see...
Grandma shuffling down the hall, coming toward the bathroom.
Well her presence there startled the shit out of me, and my flinging the door open had startled the shit out of her, so I helped her get back onto the couch in the living room and we talked for a bit about how startled we'd been. About how I'd been especially started to see her in the hallway when I'd just turned away from her in the bathroom.
So that was another weird episode.
I still hadn't seen anything yet.
After a few more minutes, I moved over and sat on the hearth.
The front door opened, and my parents walked in.
Well of course they did, you might say. It was a family gathering after all.
The problem with having them walk in that door is that they've both been dead for years. Dad for almost eight years, Mom for eighteen.
And this dream was unusual because this time I knew they were dead, and everybody in the room knew they were dead. Usually when I dream about my parents they're alive like nothing ever happened.
Anyway, they walked past all of the shocked relatives and they sat on the couch, one on each side of Grandma. They each put an arm around her. Neither of them said a word, and nobody said much of anything to them. As for me, well I just sat frozen in shock.
One by one, people would come up and give Mom and Dad a hug. I sat and I waited for everyone else to finish. I hate lines, always have. Even for something like this, I prefer to wait until the line's gone.
After my sister Dina had hugged them, and introduced them to her son - their grandson - Gehrid, I stood up and walked the few feet to the couch.
I went to Mom first. I really really really looked at her face. Her eyes were intense, her jaw was locked. She was really struggling with something. I wondered if it was just the strain of joining the living that was doing this to her, or if it was something else. Like she knew a secret that she wished she didn't know.
I hugged Mom, and in a strange show of formality I kissed her hand, then I stepped over to Dad.
His face was the same way Mom's had been, even worse. He clearly had something pressing on his mind, and he looked like he was about to burst into tears.
I gave him a hug then I continued the strange formalness by shaking his hand. I looked him in the eyes and I said, "I'm not even going to ask where you've been, or how long you can stay. I just want to thank you for coming."
Dad looked back at me, and he said something to me.
Neither of them ever moved their arms from around Grandma's shoulders.
I suddenly realized that Neisha had been outside with the kids this entire time. I ran out back to get her, to tell her, Come quick! Mom and Dad are here!
I couldn't find Neisha, and I went back inside the house to see if maybe she was in the bathroom or one of the bedrooms or something.
But when I got back to the living room, Mom and Dad were gone.
And they'd taken Grandma with them.
I realized, at that point, that it hadn't been a birthday party at all that I was attending.
It was a wake. Grandma had passed away earlier that day.
And Mom and Dad had come to help her move on.
But I've had weird dreams before and I haven't jumped out of bed to write them down.
This one I had to write down though. This one was special.
What made it special?
Well, Dad had said something to me. Something that didn't really hit me until after I woke up.
In my dream, Dad had looked me in the eyes, his entire body shaking from whatever stress he was under, and he told me, "I'll see you again soon."
A quick show of hands, please. How many of you read this entry all the way through?
Okay, good. Now, those of you with your hands up. How many of you just felt a chill run down your spine?
Your dreams always creep me out.
posted by: MixedSignalGirl | May 1, 2006 4:28 PM
I haven't trusted dreams like this since I was 14 and dreamt Mom was going to die of a stomach problem. Always freaked me out.
posted by: Ivanna | May 1, 2006 11:01 PM
You're lucky your Dad spoke to you in your dream. Ever since my father passed away 8 years ago, I always wait for him to appear in my dreams. This happened only about 3 times and he doesn't talk to me. The last was depressing because in my dream he was still alive and then he died and it's like the real thing happening again.
posted by: Kat | May 4, 2006 9:41 AM
Kat: That's pretty messed up. I've never had to relive my parents' deaths in my dreams. I usually just dream about them and then after I wake up I remember that they're dead.
posted by: dave | May 5, 2006 12:00 AM