Tonight was a good night.
And I'll tell you why.
Because it made sense.
It's as simple as that.
Tonight was the first night in a very very very very very long time during which everything actually added up to the sum of my demeanor.
Tonight, it wasn't the past's broken promises that determined my mood. It wasn't the future's faded dreams that guided my emotions. Tonight, both the past and the future were irrelevant to the stark reality of the here and the now.
There was no rummaging through the cluttered attic of my mind to find the right excuse to be happy. There were no dates reminding me of arbitrary anniversaries to make me sad. There were no ghosts haunting my every thought and tainting my every emotion.
Tonight, I got to feel the way I was supposed to feel. The way anyone would feel in these same circumstances.
It doesn't matter at all how I actually felt when I came home tonight. Sad, happy, pissed, irritated, melancholy, anxious, blissful - it doesn't matter in the least.
What matters is that tonight, for the first time in a very long time, I got to be an ordinary person. An ordinary person experiencing extraordinary circumstances, and reacting to them in an ordinary way.
Tonight, for the first time in a very long time, I got to be sane.