Some of the questions I've been asking myself a lot lately have been those that I never thought I'd have reason to ask again.
Will I be able to tell when enough is enough?
So far, I've bitten my tongue. I've restrained my writings. I've tempered and censored my very thoughts. So far, the need to simply stay afloat has been my driving force.
Will I be able to see that thin line between need and want?
But that will change. It's already started. It's changing right now or I wouldn't be writing this, this drivel. Once the needs are satisfied the wants will take over. The wants will consume me.
Will I see the edge between far enough and too far in time?
It's a funny thing. I know that I cannot fly. But I stand here once again at the edge of this abyss with my arms outstretched. I dream. I crave. I hope.
Will I make the same mistakes all over again?
Just turn away.
I've had enough. I got what I needed. I will never get what I wanted, but there are no brakes on this thing. I cannot stop it. I don't want to stop it.
Turn away. Walk away. Run away.
It's too much. It's always been too much. The smallest gesture sets me aflame.
Yet it's still not enough.