Seeing the future is easy when you've seen it all before. And for years and years, this particular scenario is pretty much all I saw. All I lived.

It'll be fun. It'll be relaxing. It'll let me feel more like myself. Instead of like this cowering pussy I've been feeling like lately. I'll be able to coast through this. If I were an actor, then I'd say that this is the role I was born to play.

I can see exactly how the next six months are going to play out. I don't need a crystal ball, or tarot cards, or fucking tea leaves. I'm no withered old hag, I'm just a guy with a pretty good memory. So I know what's going to happen, because it's already happened so many times before.

I'm really looking forward to it.

Even though it might not seem like I'm enjoying myself, don't be fooled. Even though I'll start throwing words like slut and whore around, even though it'll seem like I'm pretty much miserable at times, even though you might feel this motherly urge to snap me out of it and to try to make me feel better - don't bother.

I'll be fine.

I'll be having fun.

I'll be myself again.