I don't know if I can remember enough of this to make the posting worthwhile or not. Oh well. I suppose that worthwhile isn't something that's expected to go with this type of post anyway.
I was in Louisville, getting ready to check out the new building that I'm moving into for work.Then I woke up.
While I was walking up the sidewalk I ran into my cousin, and I invited him to come along.
So we went into the building and took a little self-guided tour. When I was ready to leave my cousin went and opened this one door. I knew that it was a door that I wasn't allowed to use because, even though my company owns the building, there were still some parts that were off-limits to peons like me.
Beyond the forbidden door there was a big fancy room, like a hotel lobby or something. And beyond that there was a fancy restaurant. I kept trying to get my cousin to leave before I got into trouble, but he walked purposefully to a table and sat.
He kept thanking me for bringing him to that place, telling me how much it meant to him and how long he'd dreamed of being there.
It was about then that I remembered two things:
1. It was New Years Eve.
2. My cousin was a lunatic.
I decided to ditch the psycho and I started looking for an exit. At one point I found myself in a glass elevator with a few other people. All of a sudden my cousin was in the elevator too. He was wearing a bathrobe and doing a really bad Elvis impersonation.
The other people in the elevator were groaning and telling him to shut up, and he starting waxing philosophically about some bullshit or other and he whipped open his bathrobe.
The crowd gasped.
My cousin had mutilated his genitals. His penis was just a bloody stub, and his testicles were just hanging there with nothing around them. Just blood and gore.
Yes, it was gross.
Yes, I got the fuck out of that elevator.
I went running out into the street. I was going to flag down a cop, but then I remembered that it was New Years Eve and they probably had better things to do.