I don't really know what's going on here.

I try not to get my hopes up. Failing that, I try to at least keep those hopes a secret. From myself as much as from everyone else.

The challenge comes from the fact that I can't appear to be indifferent either. That would be even worse. Much worse.

It's a big mysterious game, and it's been kind of fun so far. But not as much fun as it was when I was in grade school. The first time I played.

At least, back then, I could have someone pass a note on the playground. And then I'd know if that particular game was worth playing.

Now it's different. There are no more checkboxes with yes and no written next to them. Now the questions are more complicated, and the answers more indistinct.

Yes, I'm pretty sure it was more fun back when I was a kid. It was definitely easier.