I'm not waiting.
I don't like the way that term fits when I try it on inside my head. It's too needy. To desperate even.
I am Lying in wait.
I like that term better. Maybe it means the same thing, but it seems to fit me and my mood much better. It seems to imply an actual purpose, and there is a purpose to this. Not the noblest perhaps but still better than the more obvious alternative.
I am not waiting.
I am not wringing my hands. I am not chain-smoking. I am not chain-drinking, whatever that means. I am not risking paralysis by whipping my head around at each tiny noise.
I am simply here.
Just in case.
I am lying in wait.