Not too long ago, it was suggested to me that the universe hated me, because I'm such a horrible excuse for a human being. I disagreed with that assessment then, and I continue to do so now.
Oh, sure, I have my little feuds with the universe, just like everyone. Sometimes it certainly seems like everything is stacked-up against me, but at other times just the opposite seems to be happening.
Like tonight, for example, when the universe actually seemed to be looking out for me.
Tonight, it was my full intention to say two words.
Not three. Certainly not four. But two simple words.
And, as it turned out, I never got that chance.
Maybe even those two simple words would have been too much. Too soon. Too real. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to stop after those two words. Maybe the reaction to those two words would have been too much. Too soon. Too real.
The point I was going to make here is that this was going to happen. Whatever it was, it was going to take place. Even though I knew, deep down, that it was a bad idea, I was still going to say the words.
Unless, somehow, the opportunity to say them never presented itself.
If I never said the words, then things would stay the same for a while longer. The status quo would be allowed to ferment for a while longer. This would probably be a good thing, I knew. But I didn't care anymore. I felt that I'd been silent for far too long already, and I was going to be silent no longer.
Maybe the universe took pity on me tonight. Maybe the universe intervened. Maybe the universe stopped me from saying the words, by denying me the opportunity which I'd craved for weeks.
But, if that was that case, then the universe fucked up. It forgot about my blog. So I'm putting the words here, as the title for this entry.