It's a weird feeling. Happy and irritated at the same time.
Happy because, well, I'm still happy from what happened in May.
I guess I'm irritated because, as a general rule, people suck.
Tonight, I emailed to RockGirl a list of people I'm irritated with. It was a long list. In fact, if you read this entry, and you wonder if you're on the list, then you probably are.
I'm both irritated and irritable. This is a bad combination for me. It basically means that everyone is fair game. It means that, if you haven't managed to piss me off yet, just wait a while and it's bound to happen before too long.
I've done some calculations. And my life is 142.6755 asstillion times better now that it was three months ago. I'm pretty sure that's all that's holding me together tonight. I can still look back at the fairly recent past, and I can appreciate the difference between then and now. It is, not literally but metaphorically, like the difference between night and day.
I was going to say that it wasn't anyone's fault that I'm so irritated. I was going to say that it was all my own doing. But I've thought about it, and I've decided not to say that. I've decided not to lie.
This mood was thrust upon me from external sources. One tiny little thing somehow joined forces with a thousand other tiny little things. And they created one great big giant thing, the sole purpose of which was to wipe the smile off my face.
Well, it worked. I'm frowning now.
But I'm still smiling on the inside.
So fuck you, giant thing.
You might have won this battle, but the war is mine.