One time, around 1990, my car (Suzuki Samurai) was in the shop for a couple of weeks. I got a rental car to tide me over. It was a Honda something or other, I think.

The car would talk to me. It would say things like, "Your headlights are on," and, "Please engage the parking brake."

Shit like that.

Anyway, one of the things it would always say, if I put my keys into the ignition before the door was fully closed or if I opened the door before I took my keys out of the ignition, was, "Your door is a jar."

Not that my door was "ajar."

Nope, it was two distinct words. And it was a long A sound. A pause jar period.

My door was "A Jar," it would tell me.

And I'd always argue with the car. I'd say, "No it's not, it's a fucking door, you stupid car."