posted by dave on Thursday, October 11, 2007 at 3:30 AM in category ramblings

I suppose that, truth be told, I'm not really doing okay. Oh, certainly better than I expected at first, but all in all still not very well. I kinda feel like a little kid in the back of a car, on the way to some exciting destination.

"Are we there yet?" I'll ask myself a million times a day.

"Not quite," I'll answer myself. "Just a little while longer."

And every time the question gets asked, there's a little more urgency than there was before. And every time the answer is given, the reassurance is a little less believable than it was before.

As a result of this constant little dialogue, I seem to have lost the ability to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. So my nights are marked by a series of naps, and my days are marked by an unending series of yawns.

I find myself with zero patience. And it's only through some combination of altruism and fear that I've managed to at least feign patience for as long as I have. Which isn't very long. It just seems that way.


Let me see if I can get this right. This is a joke that TremensGirl told me this evening.

So this nun went to live in a convent. Upon her arrival, the priest told her that it was a silent convent, and that if she lived there, she wouldn't be allowed to speak. She agreed to this condition, and moved in.

For five years, she was completely silent, and the priest sent for her.

"My child," he said, "You have been living here for five years, and you have done very well. As a reward, you may now speak two words."

The nun thought about this for a few minutes, then finally said, "Room cold."

"Oh dear," the priest replied. "I'm so sorry. We'll get that taken care of right away."

And so they fixed the heat in the nun's room. And she was silent again.

Another five years passed, and the priest sent for her once again.

"My child," he said, "You have now lived here for ten years. Congratulations. As your reward, you may now speak two words."

The nun thought about what to say for several minutes. With a raspy voice, she said, "Bed hard."

"Oh dear," the priest replied. "We'll get you a better bed right away."

And so they replaced the nun's bed , and it was very soft, and she fell silent again.

Another five years passed and, once again, the nun was summoned to the priest.

"My child," he said, "You have lived here for fifteen years. This is quite an accomplishment. As your reward, you may now speak two words."

The nun didn't hesitate at all. "I'm leaving," She said.

The priest thought, for a few seconds, about what the nun had said. Then he responded.

"That would probably be best," he said. "After all, all you've done is bitch since the day you got here."

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