I think I want to buy a sailboat. Nothing ostentatious. Just something big enough, say, for me to sail around the world if I felt like it. I'm pretty sure that I'd feel like doing exactly that.

I think that I just get sick of being by myself in crowded rooms. It happens all the time. Often, the more dense the crowd, the more alone I am. I'm a third wheel, or a fifth wheel, or a nine hundred forty-third wheel. It always seems to be an odd number, and I always seem to be the odd one out.

So I want to buy a sailboat, so I can sail around the world all by myself. So there are no more crowds pushing me aside like a drop of oil in a lake.

I think that, if I were physically alone, then the mental isolation wouldn't seem so bad. At least, then, I'd have an excuse.