I feel a little bit selfish.

I've been told, a few times now, that I've been given what you might call a green light.

Not yellow. Certainly not red.

Green. Maybe tinged a bit toward yellow because I'm such a doofus.

But anyway, I just can't seem to be able to justify it to myself. Something stops me from even considering it, except at times like right now. As I sit alone in my house, when there's not a thing I can do about it except think and wonder and ponder and imagine.

Like I said, I feel a little bit selfish. Because the only thing stopping me seems to be me.

And since when did I become so damn important? I never got that memo.

I think I cleared the air a little bit tonight. At least I tried to clear the air. I hope I didn't make a fool of myself.

Given about five more seconds, and I probably would have done just that.

And that would have been selfish, too.