There was this one opportunity, for something not quite definable, where I totally screwed up. I blew it, and tonight I was reminded that I'd blown it.
I already knew that I'd blown it. So, it wasn't a big shock or anything, being reminded. Maybe a little mean, but still honest, and therefore acceptable.
Like I keep saying, timing is everything.
I'm not, and I never have been, one of those everything happens for a reason people. Those people are, by and large, idiots. But sometimes I can almost concede their point. Sometimes, it's very tempting for me to blame fate or God or whatever for those things which have happened or not happened in my life.
It's tempting, but I don't do it. I won't do it. Everything is my fault, everything has always been my fault, and everything will always be my fault.
People misinterpret me all the time. This is bizarre to me, because I keep no secrets, if only I'm asked the right questions.
The people who really understand, I love every one of them. Even as I hurt them, I love them. Because they know why I do the things that I do, say the things that I say, want the things that I want.
Sometimes, people seem surprised by the things that I do and say. This is bizarre to me, because I keep no secrets, if only I'm asked the right questions.
It's really quite simple, to define me and the things that are important to me. Explaining those things, now that's a much more difficult task.
I bet RockGirl could do it. Probably better than I could do it myself. She's all eloquent and shit.