Doing is, of course, much harder than saying. Or writing, in this case. That's my disclaimer - I have no realistic expectations of ever actually doing this. Perhaps someone will read this, someone with more strength than I possess. Perhaps this will do someone good.
Anyway, I think I might know the secret. This entry is part one. Part two is still sloshing around in my head like milk in a churn. Eventually it will solidify and I'll take my knife and smear it across the internet.
That's a good metaphor. I like it.
Anyway, the secret of the secret, it goes back to that first paragraph. The part about expectations.
Expectations are bullshit. You should never have them. Instead, let yourself be astonished by everything that ever happens. Especially the good things.
And hopes? They're even worse than expectations, for they bring with them an emotional bond to your heart and the emotions therein. And, when hopes are dashed, as they are so wont to be, guess what happens to your emotions.
Wishes? Wishes are acceptable, I think. As long as that's all they are. But it's so easy, so fucking easy, for a wish to turn into a hope. I don't know how to stop that transformation, that evolution. I wish I knew.
Every fucking day, I wish I knew.
Not expect. Definitely not fucking hope.
I just wish.