I remember that, tonight as I stood outside Rich O's enjoying the cool Spring air, I remember thinking that I seemed to be a pawn in some twisted game. The game was called, I decided, How Stupid Is Dave?
And, I freely admitted to myself, I really sucked at that game.
I was, it seemed, being manipulated by a master player. The best player ever, perhaps. I was fooled, and then I was jerked around, and then I was given false hope, and then I was misled, and then I was fooled again.
And, through it all, I played the part of the pawn perfectly. Fuck, I even liked being a pawn. Because it was better than being nothing, and I'd had enough of that, thank you very much.
But that was about 9:00, when I was thinking those things. By 10:05 by my watch, everything had, once again, changed. My perception shifted, or reality shifted around me. I'm not sure which, and I don't really care. All I know is that the game revealed its true name even as it shifted to my favor.
The real name of the game is How Patient Is Dave?
And, let me tell you, that's a game that I'm a master of. Because the value of patience is directly related to the value of the desired. I realized this a long time ago, at about the same time I figured out that if desire is infinite, then so must be patience.
I'm so happy right now.
I'm happy because my patience paid off. Though Wednesday was tough, and the first part of Thursday was even tougher, I did have the patience that was required.
I'm happy that my patience paid off, but most of all, I'm happy because the desired and the realized, for a while there, they fucking merged. For a while there, I wanted nothing more than what I had. For a while there, I waited for nothing.
And, the thing is, I could have waited for a million years. A billion years. A trillion years. Use whatever long period of time that you wish. It doesn't matter how long it is.
As long as it took, it would always be, will always be, worth the wait.
It was worth the wait.
And now, back home, I start to wait once again.
But that's okay. I can wait.
I have plenty of patience.