Uh oh, I'm in a weird mood again. Usually that means that I'm about to start spouting drivel, but maybe not this time.
Okay, maybe just a little.
Most of the time, I can honestly say that I'm not ashamed of anything that I feel, and therefore write. Usually, I know that I don't have a choice, and that's enough to assuage any embarrassment or shame. But sometimes, sometimes like tonight, I find myself very uncomfortable inside my own skin.
Tonight, I am afraid.
I don't like it, and I don't have a choice, and I'd like to be able to wish this feeling away to make room for those pleasant feelings that are right now cowering inside me. But I think I'm going to have to deal with this fear. I don't think it's going to go away.
Not this time.
I think that, this time, I'm going to have to face my fear or else I'm going to have to run from it.
If only it were that simple. If only those choices weren't both so selfish.
There is a third choice.
Ignore my fear, and be destroyed.