I had a really good day today.

Now, this little voice in my head tells me that I'm not supposed to be saying that, but fuck it. I keep censoring myself and censoring myself and censoring myself, and then every now and then I'll have a really crappy day. And, when that happens, I sometimes let my mood slip into this blog.

Well, today, I had a good day. And I'm in a very good mood. And I shouldn't be afraid to write about those facts. There are, after all, no more secrets between me and her, and I should stop acting like there are.

Look, this bullshit I use instead of a life isn't a very good one. I do still hate myself, after all. And most of the time, I feel like I'm drowning, and I'm not sure why I'm bothering to struggle.

But every now and then, like today, I find air. When that happens, I get to breathe for a while.

Times like this, times like today, I remember why I struggle. It's because of the joy that I am somehow, miraculously, still able to feel, when I breathe that sweet, sweet air.

I had a really good day today.