Had a really crappy day.

Irritated, almost angry at times. One of those days when I really had to wonder why I was even bothering with anything.

Lots of things are wrong. Fuck, everything good in my life is tainted. I may be surrounded by silver linings, but today all I see are dark clouds. And, the thing is, it all boils down to one feeling. One simple emotion that trumps everything else on days like today.

Self-loathing.

For living in this cage, I hate myself. For being unable to take my own damn advice, I hate myself. For my stubborn refusal to accept reality like a man, I hate myself. For whatever it is that's wrong with me, for whatever it is that keeps me invisible, that makes me unworthy, I loathe myself.

I am so fucked.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.