It changes a man, to see a beautiful face distorted by pain. To see it over and over and over and over and over. To stand helpless and watch the tears flow.
It changes a man, to feel so much and to give so much and to offer so much more, and to know that it's just not enough.
To drain away. To feel the very ground beneath your feet seem to dissolve as you struggle to remain upright. To feel betrayed and abandoned by the universe itself.
To hate yourself.
To look into the eyes of a child and find something you never thought you'd find again. To feel something you never thought you'd feel again.
To look into a mirror and see impending death, not from old age or disease or injury, but from heartache. To feel a dark hope that it will all end soon.
To fear sleep, for the nightmares that always accompany it. To fear wakefulness, for the reality that pounds away.
To watch a wonderful soul harden, and to feel your own soul harden with it. Not from pity or compassion or even love, but simply because your souls are irrevocably bound.
It changes a man.