posted by dave on Monday, March 9, 2009 at 3:24 AM in category ramblings

I heard about this open-mic thingy the other night. I didn't go, but I heard about it. One of the things I heard was that there were some "real" writers there.

I like to imagine myself as a real writer. Not now, I mean, but someday, in the future, maybe. I think I have it in me; that combination of passion and creativity that's so necessary. I've certainly got the passion, and the creativity is in here somewhere, rattling around in my head like a quarter you've left in your jeans when you did a load of laundry. Now it's in the dryer, banging and clanging.

Trying to take the chaos inside me and distill it into something that's both meaningful and interesting. It's tough sometimes, impossible at other times, but it feels downright effortless on nights like tonight. Nights when I've fucked up and it feel like this keyboard is absolutely all I have left. Every part of me, every iota of anything and everything that makes me who I am and how I am - all escaping by the only path available, flowing down through my fingers and onto my keyboard.

It has to escape. It fucking has to, because it's unbearable to be inside my head on nights like tonight.

Nights when I've fucked up.

Nights when I'm sorry.

Anyway, I know that this entry sucks. Just because something seems easy doesn't mean that it's any good.

comments (3)

My daily visits to your site are motivated by the way you turn a phrase, unlike any I've ever read before. Granted the context is sometimes enough to make me want to road-trip it to Indiana and find some way to put you outta your misery.

. . .naw nothing THAT tremendous to offer. . . something more along the lines of a hunting accident. *JUST KIDDING* RELAX !!!!! You're much too fine a poolplayer to let any sort of accident happen to you.

Which as long as I'm here, lemme ask, why haven't I seen you on the cover of one of the many Billiards Digest I've been the receipient of? Gawd knows you've got the balls, an know how to pocket 'em.

One, thanks.

Two, depending on your gender, that may or may not be possible.

Three, no self-induced "accidents" are anticipated, either.

Four, because I suck now.

1) You're welcome.

2) Female, but I doubt the "wiles" I'd bring to the task would be enough to calm the storm raging within.

3) Good.

4) I dunno, I can easily imagine you at your worst would be better than most at their best.

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