First, some snippets from a February entry:
It changes a man, to see a beautiful face distorted by pain. To see it over and over and over and over and over. To stand helpless and watch the tears flow.This morning I was thinking about that time of my life, just before my 43rd year ended. Just before, as it turned out, a lot of things ended.
To watch a wonderful soul harden, and to feel your own soul harden with it. Not from pity or compassion or even love, but simply because your souls are irrevocably bound.
I failed her so badly. I failed myself so badly.
And my punishment for that failure is severe, but I deserve so much worse.