Saturday night was fucked-up.

Saturday night I was fucked-up.

It started out okay. I went out to The BBC. I had a yummy BBC Dark Star Porter (228) and spent some time talking with this one chick that I went out with about five years ago. So that was nice.

Then the text messages started coming in. From HatGirl.

Yay!

NavelGirl wasn't quite as thrilled as I was that I was texting HatGirl. Not that I really cared. There was, after all, a reason why we stopped going out. Besides, it was HatGirl!

After my beer I said that I was going to The Pub at Fourth Street Live in downtown. NavelGirl must not have been too upset about the HatGirl thing because she followed me there, and we had dinner together. After a while she left though, so I was free to text HatGirl to my heart's content.

I had three Newcastles (2566) while I just sat at the bar and vegged out. I was trying to decide whether I wanted to go home or to see if HatGirl was still at Rich O's when this other chick came in.

And that's when things got fucked-up.

I learned some things, I guess. Confirmed some others. Most of what I learned I could have lived without learning, and most of what I confirmed was that I'm an asshole.

I had another Newcastle (2586) while BlondeGirl raked her fingernails across my soul. It was like driving by the scene of a terrible auto accident. I just had to slow down and look at the carnage. Problem was, I was the carnage.

So after a while I just couldn't take it anymore. I told BlondeGirl that I was going to go home and kill myself but instead I went over to The Hard Rock and talked with CoolHairGirl and some dude that works at The Pub. I had a couple pints of Blue Moon (302) and listened to PubDude tell a never-ending series of jokes. Most of them seemed to be funny, but I can't remember any of them as I was getting pretty fucked-up.

I took a cab home because I'm a good citizen and stuff. I'm still an asshole though.

Last night I was really craving a Newcastle, and I was sitting at home trying to decide where to go for one. Like, I could have gone to The Pub in Louisville - they have the best Newcastle I've ever had - but I wasn't really in the mood for the crowd that's always there. I could have gone to Hooters in Jeffersonville but that was an even longer drive. I was seriously thinking about going down to our local riverboat casino and sitting in the bar there, but then I got a text message from HatGirl.

HatGirl!

Yay!

It seems that they were at Sportstime, which is the sister business to Rich O's. I texted back that I hadn't decided where I was going, but that was a fib. HatGirl was at Sportstime, so I was going there. But, since I wanted to try to preserve my image of casual indifference, I didn't immediately run out the door still naked from my shower and continue running all the way to Sportstime.

I probably should have though.

Because by the time I'd dewrinkled my clothes and gotten dressed and driven to Sportstime, I was too late.

HatGirl was already gone.

Boo!

So I went in Rich O's proper and sat at the kiddie table with MusicalHippieDude. I talked to HatGirl for a bit on the phone and learned that they'd just arrived back at their home. So that sucked.

Rich O's is having their hoppy beer festival, also known as the fuck you Dave festival, so the draft board out front was pretty useless to me. I did see Founder's Red Rye listed though, so I had one of those (120). FutureDude was shocked that I ordered that beer, but I've had it several times before. It's pretty good, in a weird way.

The place was packed with strangers and PBDs - all hop-heads. So I didn't do much except just talk with MusicalHippieDude and WomanRepellant for a while. Eventually I ordered another Founder's but I only drank a little of it (124). I'd decided that my Newcastle craving wasn't going to go away, so I left Rich O's and went to this Mac's place that I don't like. I'd thought that NotHideousGirl might be there doing karaoke or something, but they had a stupid live band so I didn't stay there long enough to look for anyone I knew. I just went to White Castle then came home and shot pool for several hours.

I remember reading somewhere that it's 90% mental.

That sounds about right to me.

The body, it just dances in the background. The mind is the real star of this show.

It's not even a very good show. Full of deceit and trickery. Empty promises and false praise. It drags on for far too long, and there's not really an ending. The lights just fade, ever so slowly, until you realize that the show is over.

It's not a very good show, but it can still mesmerize you and suck you in, if your amenable to that sort of thing. If you're not careful. If you're weak.

But, as they say, The show must go on.

They're right.

...on Lost! are real dicks.

Except for this chick. I have a massive crush on her:

Probably in part because she used to be this girl on Malcolm in the Middle and she's the one that started the whole perverted brunettes with glasses thing for me.

If only there'd been a dorky girl like that when I was in school.

After work today I stopped by Rich O's. Mainly to get a pizza, but then they had a new beer for me on tap:

t Smisje Halloween (10)

(draft) Cloudy yellow/orange. A nice head that faded quickly. This is a very citrusy Belgian when it first enters the mouth, but then the pumpkin takes over and coats the mouth with sweetness, then there were some nice spices in the finish. Just yummy. It seemed like it had a high ABV, but its 10.5% still surprised me.

So that was a nice surprise.

Then, then as I was walking out the door Roger (the owner) called out to me.

"What?" I asked.

"I can get Harpoon now," he answered.

My head immediately started swimming. And here's why:

Harpoon Winter Warmer (100)

The web page says cinnamon and nutmeg. I got none of that. What I got was ambrosia. The most unusual beer I've ever had, and it took me a while to pin down what I was experiencing. Copper colored, good lacing, and an actual flower aroma. The flavor was incredibly indescribable, but I'll try anyway. Take a beautiful woman, have her bathe in lilacs and Mr. Bubble. Now perform oral sex on her. That's how good this beer was.

That's the review I wrote of Harpoon Winter Warmer during my trip to Portland Maine in the Spring of 2005.

Then Roger said something about how he's getting Harpoon IPA for this hop festival thingy they're having. It starts this Friday. But I don't care about that. All I could think about was that their Winter beer festival (Saturnalia) is coming up in December. I always look forward to it, but this year it goes beyond that. This year it gives me something to live for, because Harpoon Winter Warmer could be there.

Astute readers may have noticed that I drink beer from time to time.

Very astute readers may have noticed that I will sometimes put little beer reviews in my journal entries.

Psycho stalkers have probably noticed that all of my beer reviews also appear over here. If you don't believe me, go there now and see for yourself.

I'll wait.

* looks at watch, taps foot, whistles, considers masturbating, balances checking account *

Okay, that's long enough. You were just supposed to look. Not memorize the thing.

There are, as of this writing, 301 entries there. I had planned to make entry number 300 a special one, but it didn't work out that way. I screwed it up last night by trying two new beers. So now I'm at 301 instead of 299, and the special review that I'd wanted to be number 300 will be number 302 instead.

What I did is I combined two of my all-time favorite beers. I am a fucking genius.

Dave's Weffentremens (28)

(mixture) I mixed Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier and Delirium Tremens in the 16.9:11.2 ratio dictated to me by the bottle sizes. Mixing what are perhaps the ultimate representations of German wheat and Belgian strong ales, I'm not quite sure what I was expecting to accomplish. One thing that I definitely wasn't expecting was to create a beer that would make me believe in God. Well, so much for expectations. Way beyond yummy.

Like I said, I am a fucking genius.

In this entry I will, once again, try to be funny in such a way that only one person on Earth will get the joke. But that's okay, because she's the most important person.

But first thing first. After work this week, on two occasions, I had this beer:

Regenboog Guido (20)

(draft) Very good. Cloudy brown color, little head to speak of. Taste of apples that have almost gone sour. There were a couple of other, more subtle flavors. Maybe raisins and honey. I wanted more right away.

Okay.

Last night I got to Rich O's fairly late for me - about 9:30 or so. Before I'd even left my truck I could tell that something special was happening. It was like a tingle that went down my spine. Except it wasn't my spine.

The place was full of hot girls!

By Rich O's standards, anyway. There were at least a half-dozen of girls in various states of hotness scattered around. One in particular, with dreadlocked hair, really got my attention when our eyes met as I walked in. She smiled at me from her seat at the island, and I ended up walking kinda funny to the bar.

My first beer of the night was one of these:

t Smisje Blond (10)

(draft) Cloudy dark urine in appearance. No head to speak of. A very citrusy aroma, but the flavor was quite similar to a German wheat except for the thinner mouthfeel. A decent beer.

After a few minutes the strangers at the other end of the bar left so I slid down there and sent some come hither glances in RastaGirl's direction, but all she would do in response was give me a little smile. So maybe she's shy. Yeah, that must be it.

My second beer was one of these:

Dogfish Head Pumpkin Ale (10)

(draft) Clear bronze. A thin tan head that faded quickly and left nice lacing behind. Besides the unusual (for me) pumpkin flavor, there was a strange bitterness that came and went before the finish. Once my tastebuds had become numb to the bitterness this was a pretty good beer.

For the better part of an hour I just sat at the bar with the ghost and drank my beer. Then some fuckers left the living room so I moved over to the throne.

Right after I sat down another hot girl came in with some gay guy and they sat in the loveseat. I didn't talk to them though because by that time I was in a bit of a mood.

My next beer was one of the aforementioned Guido beers (30).

I spent a lot of my time on the throne trading text messages with RockGirl. LonerBoy came in and sat with me for a while but we didn't talk much.

Then RockGirl told me to grow a pair, so I did, and I went home.

You can find ghosts in the most obscure places.

Especially when you're looking for them.

Last night was, as I wrote yesterday, the occasion of the thing in the place with the people. It was supposed to be a surprise, so I didn't say anything more than that. Well the surprise is over so I have free reign I suppose.

The thing was a comedy show, the place was The Comedy Caravan in Louisville, and the people were my friend Eric, his wife Teri, my sister Dina, her husband Kenny, Eric's brother Todd and his wife, and some people I don't really know - except that one of them may be Dina's only hot friend. The whole deal was because it's Teri's birthday today. Happy Birthday!

I'm pretty sure that it's also my grandmother's birthday today. Happy Birthday!

The show didn't start until 8:00, and I got there early, so I walked across the street to a little bar. A little haunted bar as it turned out. I hadn't recognized the place, but I'd been there before, back near the beginning of the end. Back when I broke through the clouds and caught a glimpse of just how far up I was. How far I had to fall.

Anyway, I had myself a yummy Newcastle (2506) and did a bit of catching up with the ghost of my own innocence. Then I went back across the street to the comedy place. Dina and Kenny were already waiting, and everyone else showed up shortly afterwards.

I hadn't been to the Comedy Caravan since this night, even nearer to the end. I don't suppose things have changed very much. Some of the people were funny, and some of them weren't. I think the highlight of my time there was when I went out to the lobby to have a smoke and got to talk to Dina's hot friend for a while. Talking to pretty women always lifts my spirits. For a while at least.

Oh yeah, I had two bottles of BBC Alt (282) which were a little skunked. It was also very strange to be drinking straight out of the bottle.

After the show was over, I went over to Cumberland Brewing with Eric and Todd and their wives. I had myself a yummy Cumberland Nitro Porter (180) and we all just sat around and talked for a bit. Eric told me a very funny story about his dad, but I won't relay it here because you'd really have to know Paul to see how funny it was.

After my friend left, I moved up to the bar and had another Nitro Porter (200) and thought about the times I'd gone to that place with MixedSignalGirl and SassyGirl.

Speaking of SassyGirl, nobody has had any word from her and JauntyGirl since they left. So that sucks.

After I left Cumberland, I stopped by Rich O's for a second, then I went to White Castle and came home and watched the new X-Men movie.

Tonight, I get to go to a thing at a place with some people.

I'm looking forward to it, which means that I'll be disappointed.