I never do this, post videos I discover on the web. But there's a first time for everything, I guess.

Listen to the words.

My plan had been to try to take a quick nap before going back to Rich O's, but I was afraid that I'd fall asleep and not wake up until this morning. So I ended up going back at 7:00 or so.

The place wasn't all that packed, but it was all weirdoes and strangers. Except for CrewCutGirl, I didn't recognize a single customer in the place. The living room area, in particular, was full of weirdoes.

I sat at the kiddie table and had an Ommegang Three Philosophers (24). I emailed LaptopGirl about the weirdoes. I emailed OddlyFamiliarGirl about her Olive Garden discount. I emailed RockGirl about something or other. Mostly I just sat and watched the door.

I had an NABC Community Dark (281) and sipped at it for a couple of hours.

Oh yeah, I was also starving. I was going to eat something, but I'd told LaptopGirl that I'd hold off in case she wanted to split a pizza or something. We were supposed to go listen to karaoke at Sluttopia, and I thought that she might be able to swing by Rich O's first.

At 10:00, I ended up going over to Sluttopia. LaptopGirl met me there. I had a Newcastle (9149) and a sip of LaptopGirl's Sierra Nevada ESB while we endured this one weird origami guy demonstrating his creations.

They didn't even start the karaoke until late, because of some basketball game. So that sucked. And then, once people started singing, they were all fairly terrible.

I tried to talk LaptopGirl into singing, but I didn't press very hard.

LaptopGirl got to stay for a couple of hours. That was really nice. I ended up drinking the last half of her Newcastle (2159). When she had to leave I gave her the wine I'd bought for her today. I hope she enjoys it.

It was a really good night. One of the best.

Except I never did eat anything.

So today, instead of flinging myself off the top of the nearest tall building, I figured that I'd try HatGirl one more time. I was really starting to freak out, and I sent her a message telling her as much.

She responded!

Yay!

We traded a couple of emails. I guess most notable was that she looked at my entry from Monday and called the resemblance "scary."

She did not offer an opinion as to whether her ass is better than the one in the poster.

---

On another front, I keep saying that the tiniest little things can mean all the difference to me. Tonight someone declined an invitation I'd made. But it was still very cool, because I was expecting no answer at all. Even the tiny little act of turning down my invitation will end up being one of the high points of my week.

---

I think I'm going to try to take a day of vacation Friday. I've still got a lot of hours that I need to use or lose by the end of April. I'll most likely have to work several hours on Friday but, as I said last week, I can work from home and I won't have to put on clothes. Plus, having Friday off means that I can go to Rich O's Thursday night.

---

Saturday I go booze shopping. I'm trying to put together a list of stuff to buy, so if you know me you can send me an email and I'll add your choice to my list.

---

Tonight I watched this stupid I Am Legend movie. I also had most of a bottle of Left Hand Snow Bound (112). I say most of a bottle because I managed to backhand the glass onto the floor at one point. Oops.

---

I think that's it for now.

---

Oh, wait. LaptopGirl told me that I'd be sad when I found out who got eliminated from American Idol tonight. She probably thinks that I'd be sad if Ramiele was voted off, so that's going to be my guess.

I didn't feel like taking very good notes tonight, because I'm kinda in the middle of this bullshit preemptive depression thing. But I noticed enough to make this entry.

Contestants 1 through 9: zzzz, zzzz, wtf, blah, zzzz, blah, blah, wtf, blah

David C: Fucking awesome (100 points)

I guess I'm having the same problem this morning that I had a couple of Sundays ago. I think about the previous night, and writing an entry about it just seems too daunting a task.

So, that Saturday Beer Report from a couple of weeks ago never got written, and this Friday Beer report will probably end up being a brief one, though the night itself certainly wasn't brief.

First, while it's on my mind and while I'm sitting at my keyboard, two Saturdays ago, I went to Rich O's and was greeted with the question, "Did you see SassyGirl?"

I replied that I had not, and I was told that she was sitting out front.

I ran out front and, sure enough, there sat SassyGirl!

Yay!

She and JauntyGirl had come into town that day. She hadn't called to let me know, because she'd wanted to surprise me at Rich O's.

Well, that plan certainly worked. I was definitely surprised.

The timing of their visit was close to perfect, as Saturday through Tuesday were pretty stressful for me, and those girls provided a lovely distraction for several hours of those days.

Anyway, a bunch of other stuff has happened between then and last night, but it seems like it would be hard to write it all down. So, I won't. I'll just skip to last night.

I arrived at Rich O's at 6:00, that early hour determined by the fact the my sister Dina and her husband Kenny were there. We talked until 7:30 or so, when they had to get home for some basketball game or something.

I ate a pizza and sat at the island by myself. There was a couple sitting at the other end of the island, but I didn't talk to them much. Mostly, I just watched the door and waited for LaptopGirl.

She arrived at 9:00 or so. I got to help her fact-check an article she's writing. That was very cool. It's nice to feel useful.

We talked for a while until EuchreDude came and horned in on sat with us. I because invisible for an hour or so, until after they'd moved to the living room area. I followed mostly because to remain where I was would have felt slightly more awkward.

Eventually, I managed to get LaptopGirl's attention again. Mainly by plopping myself down on the coffee table two feet in front of her. We talked for another hour or so, but eventually she had to go home.

Oh yeah. Beer.

Let's see, my first beer was a yummy Schlenkerla Fastenbier (308), which has made it's brief Spring appearance. My next two beers were NABC Flat Tyre (749), though I did have a few sips of LaptopGirl's Moinette Brune. It was good, and the next time I have some I'll write a proper review.

That number for Flat Tyre above is an estimate, because LaptopGirl had several sips from my glass as she waited for news from her homefront.

Once LaptopGirl had gone, I went and sat at the kiddie table and talked to WomanRepellant for a while. Then NotHideousGirl came in. She was sad, because her cat had died. Poor kitty.

We somehow got to talking about karaoke, and she suggested going to Sluttopia. I called, and they said that they had a band instead.

Well, we ended up going to Sluttopia anyway. WomanRepellant followed us there, but most of the crowd just went to this Jack's bar closer to Rich O's.

NotHideousGirl became even more sad when, upon our arrival, she was told that one of her friends from there had died a couple of days ago.

The band sucked big hairy ones. I did my best to distract myself from the racket by drinking a Newcastle (9071) and talking to WomanRepellant and NotHideousGirl until they started kicking everyone out at 3:00 or so.

Then I came home.

Then, despite my staying up until after 4:00, my stupid circadian rhythm woke me up at 8:00. And here I sit, looking forward to the wonderful nap I'll get to take in a few hours.

Hmmm, I guess this wasn't as brief as I'd feared.

A lot of things seem random, until they're over, and then not so much.

Earlier today I was having an email conversation with RockGirl, as I'm wont to do, and I said that I couldn't remember the last time that I was utterly happy with my life. Not happy with just one particular aspect, but happy with the totality of my existence.

I wrote to RockGirl that perhaps I'd been happy during that brief time when MysteryLady and I were together. Even as I wrote it, I knew it wasn't true. There had been other times. More recent times. But I couldn't remember what those more recent times had been.

Then tonight, I watched a movie. I picked it at random from my shelf. At least I thought I picked it at random. I've seen it before. Several times, actually. It's one of my favorite movies. It's genius.

And, as I watched the movie, I remembered something. Something important.

Probably about the fifth time I watched this movie, back in the middle of 2005 - I think that was the last time that I was totally happy. Because I watched it with MixedSignalGirl. It was well after all the bullshit had started to destroy our relationship, but on that night, for whatever reason, none of the bullshit mattered. We just enjoyed each other's company. We sat on my loveseat, I had my arm around her, and we just fit together.

I remember, during the scene where the guy vomited all over the alley, MixedSignalGirl averted her eyes from the TV, and she buried her face against my chest. To this day, I don't know if she was laughing, or if she was disgusted, or if it was combination of both. What I do know is that I leaned over, ever so slightly, and I kissed the top of her head, and she sighed when I did it, and our souls merged.

I defy anyone, anywhere, from anytime past or present or future, to ever produce a more perfect moment than that.

I was completely happy with my life, right then and right there.

I'm pretty sure that was the last time.

(I will award 1,000,000 points to the first person who knows what movie I watched tonight. The title of this entry is a hint. Those 1,000,000 points may be redeemed for one beer, should we ever meet in person.)

I can envision a time, probably not to far removed from the present, when this blog will have become nothing but memes and inane reports like this one. When that times comes, I may finally see this as the waste that it is, and I may finally be able to stop.

Anyway, like last week, I didn't get around to watching these until Thursday night. So, four of these people have been eliminated by the time of this writing. I don't know who. Unlike last week, this week I bothered to write down my thought about the guy singers as well.

Luke: An incredibly gay performance. This guy sings very well, but this time he was just way over the top. A crappy start to the night. (50 points)

David A: Cool name. A very good performance. I'm a huge fan of this kid. (80 points)

Danny: Stupid song, but I can't fault the singing at all. This kid's very good. Too bad he's such a dick - I took off 10 points for that. (70 points)

David H: Cool name again. Great song, great job. (85 points)

Michael: Darn, I usually like this guy, but not tonight. Stupid song choice, and way too much bouncing around. He screwed up several notes. (60 points)

David C: Okay, how come I've never noticed all these fucking Davids before? Anyway, A good job. (85 points)

Jason: Stupid song. Way too kum-bah-yah for my tastes, so I didn't really listen except when he butchered this one note and cracked my glasses. (40 points)

Jacuzzi: He sucks, so I went and peed instead. My pee scored: (55 points)

---

Asia'h: Okay, but boring. I took off 10 points for having an apostrophe in her name, then I gave 5 points back because she looked hot. (75 points)

Kady: I never heard this song before. I thought she did a good job, but I'm biased when it comes to Kady. I gave 10 bonus points for being smoldering hot. (85 points)

Amanda: A one-trick pony, and that one trick isn't all that impressive. Painful. She needs to get off my TV now. (40 points)

Carly: A lot better than last week. She's such a good singer. (90 points)

Kristy: Good song, and she countrified it, and she did it brilliantly. Awesome. I gave 10 bonus hotness points. (95)

Ramiele: Another great song. A pretty good performance, but she seemed a little distracted. One of the backup singers tried to ruin the performance, but I think they managed to gag her early enough. (80 points)

Brooke: A pretty cool folksy arrangement of a Pat Benatar classic. I thought she did a fantastic job, and I also gave her 10 bonus hotness points. (95 points)

Syesha: She still seems very full of herself. She's also awesome, even with such a stupid fucking song. (79 points)

I didn't get around to watching last night's show until after 10:00 tonight. I don't know who was voted out. I guess I'll go look in a bit.

Carly: I really like Carly. I think she's easily one of the best singers. But maybe her voice is a little plain. It seemed that way tonight, at least. (80 points)

Syesha: She seems pretty full of herself. Maybe, if I were that awesome, I would be too. A fantastic performance. (85 points)

Brooke: I like Brooke, but she really blew most of the low notes tonight. She should have picked another song. The judges apparently heard a different performance than the one I heard. (60 points)

Ramiele: Just incredibly cute. Like a baby bunny riding around on the back of another baby bunny. Also, she is my favorite girl in the competition. (90 points)

Kristy Lee: Stupid song. Okay performance. Boring. (65 points)

Amanda: Painful. Everything from the hair to the pants to the "dancing" - and especially the singing - it was all just painful. I want those two minutes of my life back, please. (20 points)

Alaina: Great song. She mangled a couple of notes. Good job, though. (80 points)

Alexandrea: Seems like she picked a very hard song, and I think she did very well with it. (85 points)

Kady: One of my favorites, even after tonight's lackluster performance. I gave her 15 bonus points for being smoldering hot. (95 points)

Asia'h: Stupid name. Pretty good performance, but I've heard much better renditions of that song. her arrangement was a little weird. (80 points)

Well, the snowstorm was a dud. Despite some promise early in the evening, it petered out fairly quickly. I'm looking at two inches where I'd been expecting up to ten inches. So I can empathize with the ex-girlfriends of this one fucker at Rich O's.

I have high hopes for the coming ice storm, though.

---

The other night I saw someone reaching out to another person. I watched her reach out, and I watched her get absolutely nothing in response. I can certainly empathize with that, because sometimes it seems like all I do is reach out to find nothing.

Now, to be fair, every now and then people will reach out to me, and I'll either slap their hand away or squeeze it gently then move it aside - it depends on my mood and on who is doing the reaching. Sometimes, I do that. Maybe people think I'm a dick because of it, but I know the truth. I'm just trying to keep both of my hands free, in case they're ever really needed.

---

I'm really excited about this Jumper movie that's coming out. It's one of my favorite books. I know that movies are almost never as good as the books they're based on, but I have a good feeling about this particular movie. Also, I wish I could jump around from place to place like that. It would be cool.

That same guy wrote another book I really like. It's called Wildside. I think that would make a good movie, too.

It happened twice tonight. While I was watching my tivoed recording of American Idol and drinking a yummy Schlenkerla Urbock (320) and mentally kicking myself for, once again, letting my nap run on for far too long.

I don't even think I dreamed tonight. That's strange, because usually there's something about sleeping on my back, on my couch, that gets the old eyeballs moving rapidly. But not tonight, I don't think.

So, I was sitting there on my loveseat watching mostly bad singers, hoping for a good singer, or at least a hot girl to look at. During the boring parts of the show, I'd think about things. Do some navel-gazing, basically. And twice I was completely overwhelmed. I was completely overwhelmed and nearly incapacitated. The first time it was sadness that washed over me, the second time it was joy. Each time, it was perfect. Just incredible unblemished emotion. The first time a single sob left my lips. The second time, it was a laugh.

Tuesday, I talked to ArtGirl about experiencing every moment. Good, bad, or neutral, all moments of life should be lived and experienced in their entirety. Because they're not going to happen again. Ever. So, may as well pay attention to them. They might be important. They probably are important.

Tonight I had two perfect moments. One was good, the other was bad. I wouldn't trade either of them for anything. Perfect moments are our most precious gifts to ourselves.

Anyway, this all got me interested, so I did a search on my blog for the phrase perfect moment. I found one promise, one declaration, and one memory. I'd have thought there'd have been more. It certainly seems like the kind of thing I'd write about more often.

I think that the whole purpose of this entry was to put that link in. I think that I just wanted to prove that I used to be able to write decent drivel, even if I can't seem to do it anymore.

That show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is in Louisville makeovering a home.

Yeah, I know that's not a real word.

It's been all over the radio, how they're redoing a house for some semi-famous blind guy. Plus I guess they're all staying at this fancy hotel across the street from where I work. At least there's been a very large bus parked there all week, and everyone is saying it's the people from the show.

I used to watch that show. I used to like it. I mean, the things that they do to transform those houses are truly amazing. But I haven't watched it in a couple of years. It just got to be too much, with all the heartwarming and the tears and the uplifting moments.

It used to be that they'd swoop in and fix up a house for any of a number of reasons. Maybe because you were cool, or you needed more space, or maybe just because you applied for the thing. And, of course, there were the charity cases. People in real trouble, who needed real help.

But things changed. I guess the heartwarming stories rapidly became the most popular ones. And the more desperate the lives of the people being helped, the better the ratings were. So it kinda snowballed.

It used to be, back when I first started watching that show, it used to be that I could almost imagine them showing up at my house someday. I liked the semi-randomness. For me, that was a really big part of the show's appeal.

Now, though, they don't do that semi-random stuff anymore. If they show up at your house now, then you know that your life truly sucks big ones.

Like, we had a storm here in August, and one of my Tivos broke. I seriously doubt that the people from the show are going to give my house a makeover because of my broken Tivo. But, back when the show first came on, it was fun to fantasize about it. Now, it would be a horrible fantasy. Because first I'd have to imagine that half my family was dead. And the other half had cancer. And the other half was blind or otherwise disabled. And that my cats all hated me. And that, despite all the problems, I still spent all of my spare time and all of my spare money helping those even less fortunate than I was.

It used to be fun to fantasize about that show redoing my house. But now, I wouldn't wish that fate on my worst enemy. Nobody deserves to have a life that's so crappy as to lure that show in.

Sunday night:

Aecht Schlenkerla Helles Lagerbier (3)

(bottle) Golden color, minimal head. Aroma of stale hops. Flavor of a citrusy stale lager tamed just a bit by smoke. The flavor wasn't too bad, but the damn aroma was disgusting. I poured most of the bottle out.

Barley Island Dirty Helen Brown (22)

(draft) Dark copper, with huge head and good lacing. Malty flavor with caramel and toffee in there too. Mouthfeel a little thin, but a great-tasting beer. I will look for this again.

Today was pretty boring, as Mondays usually are. Had Lunch with NotHideousGirl and got to listen to some dude in a groovy shirt try valiantly and lamely to pick her up. Talked to WeirdGirl for a minute or two on the phone - she's still not feeling well. Worked on a bunch of disaster recovery plans for work. Talked to my sister Dina on the phone. Went to Rich O's. Had the aforementioned Dirty Helen beer. Bought a pizza. Came home. Watched 10 Things I Hate About You.

I continue to be in a strange mood. I feel like I'm being hit from all sides by things which I don't understand and for which I'm woefully unprepared. So I'm a little bit jumpy. On edge, as I said in my last entry. But not just about the timing thing. I'm on edge about everything. I kind of feel like I'm living a pre-apocalyptic phase of my life, and I need to do something to prevent something terrible from happening.

Weird, I know.

Yesterday was a long day.

First, I got to go file a police report about some crap. Look for the story on Law & Order in the Fall. I will be playing myself, and I think I'd like Patricia Velasquez to play my love interest. Not that the story really has a love interest, but I'm maintaining creative control here, and I say it needs one. A hot one.

Then I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for my customary naked tenders. They were out of Newcastle so I had a heterosexual Blue Moon (555) instead.

Once she finally got off work, I went and hung out with WeirdGirl. Then we ended up sleeping until about 9:30 when she had to fucking go back to work because of some big bartending emergency.

So, I came home and was debating going back out when HatGirl called.

HatGirl?

Yay?

Damn right, yay!

She'd been thinking about going to Rich O's, even though it was pretty late, so of course I broke all sorts of traffic and physics laws getting there. But it was too late. They were already threatening last-call, so HatGirl wasn't coming. Oh yeah, I had a yummy Upland Winter Warmer (220) while I was there.

When they started kicking everyone out of Rich O's, I texted WeirdGirl. She was still working. So I went over to this Mac's place to listen to karaoke. I'd been thinking that maybe NotHideousGirl would be there, but I think she was still watching her nieces or something.

You know what's weird? When a cute young girl, who you never saw before in your life, follows you into the men's restroom at Mac's and talks to you while you valiantly attempt to pee anyway, then she drapes herself all over you so she can get by the doorman without getting carded.

You know what else is weird? When you're just sitting at the bar, kinda listening to karaoke with maybe half a percent of your brain, and you recognize a voice. Then you turn around and it's your uncle Wayne who's running the karaoke at the place.

I ended up having a couple Newcastles (5740) and talking to various people about various crap, like how rap music always gives me the urge to start killing whities. I tried to talk to PeeGirl, but I'd already served my purpose with her. Her friend actually seemed more interested in talking to me, but she was with some dork.

Then I came home at about 3:00. I was going to go to White Castle, but I forgot.

The conference ended at 1:00 on Thursday, which was quite cool because it gave me some time to attempt to take a nap. It would have been even cooler if the nap had actually happened, but the construction going on in the room above me prevented any Zs from being caught.

I managed to snap a picture of the construction equipment as it was heading to the room above me. How they fit all that shit into one room I'll never know:

After I gave up on sleep, I took my last bottle of Alaskan Smoked Porter down to the race and sports book place. They were perfectly willing to let me use one of their glasses, but they said that some red tape bullshit rule prevented them from opening the bottle. Then this one dude took pity on me and showed me how to open a beer bottle using a lighter. I've already mentioned learning this valuable skill. The Alaskan Smoked Porter (589) was yummy, by the way.

Then I had a Fat Tire (587) and played video poker and glared at my phone for an hour or so. See, I maybe had a date. I wasn't even going to mention it here, in case it didn't pan out. But I had a maybe date with StupidGirl, because my new best friend had told his girlfriend that I was in town, and then his girlfriend had told StupidGirl. She finally called me at 6:00 or so with the excuse that she just got off work.

For those joining me late, I realize that StupidGirl is a terrible nickname. I would change it to SweetGirl, but StupidGirl actually likes her nickname. She says that it gives her a story to tell. So the nickname stays.

Anyway.

StupidGirl and went up to Fremont Street and dicked around there for a while. We were going to have dinner at Main Street Station's brewpub, but they were out of their Triple 7 Porter, and all of their other beers suck. So, in protest, we ate at this Grill Bar Saloon place. I drank Diet Coke, and StupidGirl had some foo-foo thing.

After dinner, we went back to The Strip and took in the volcano at the Mirage and the fountains at Bellagio. Walking down The Strip holding hands with a pretty girl is still one of life's perfect moments for me. I wish I could do it every night. In front of the Bellagio fountains there was much slaking. I think it was all the gushing of the water that gave us the idea. Some lady took our picture slaking in front of the fountains. I gave her my email address so she can send me a copy.

This part is probably going to seem pretty lame, but nothing reportable happened beyond that. I really like StupidGirl, and I'm going to leave it there. Maybe next time I'm in Las Vegas...

Here's some crap I wrote Wednesday night.

Another Las Vegas Wednesday. Another night when I get to realize that it's the last full night I'll have here for months. Another night when I get to wonder if I could have done more with my week. Well, this time it's more like a certainty than a wondering, and it's more like a lifetime than a week. But, that's just my mood right now. It fluctuates, in case you haven't noticed.

I'm sitting at the Tilted Kilt, drinking a yummy Tilted Kilt (656) and just kind of soaking in the place for the last time. See, it's going away. Probably late this Summer. And I won't be back until November, so tonight is the last time I'll sit at this bar. This sucks. This place has been my main escape and distraction during an awful lot of troubled times. Las Vegas just won't be the same for me without it.

Also, I really like the free shows here at The Rio. Here's a crappy picture:

See, that kind of thing almost never happens back at Rich O's. Not even for DaveFest. Plus, it's kinda funny to see five of the gayest guys on Earth, trying to feign interest as they dance/grope five of the hottest girls on Earth.

Much time passes...

I've stayed here at the Tilted Kilt longer than I'd planned, and I've had more glasses of Tilted Kilt (720) than I'd planned, because I've realized that when this bar goes away, it takes this beer with it. This makes me even more sad, hence the staying and the drinking.

Okay, first I need to get this out of the way. It's a beer I tried for the first time on Thursday.

Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Marzen

(draft) I was not expecting to like this. I don't know why. A nice clear dark amber color. The aroma of a smoky campfire. The smoke flavor is fairly apparent, and it's just smoke - no bacon or grapes or anything else to taint the flavor. I liked this a lot.

Anyway, on to Friday night.

Rich O's was moderately crowded when I arrived. Mostly with strangers. And there was a buttload of SteveFest celebrators out in the special people section. I sat at the bar and had a Koningshoeven Quad (498), then one of the aforementioned Marzens (55).

NotHideousGirl called at one point from Louisville, and I went outside so I could talk with her for a bit. She invited me to join her at the pub but I needed to stick around Rich O's for a while longer just in case anything cool happened. When I went back in to Rich O's, I had Roger introduce me to SteveFest Steve. As I'd been expecting, I never saw him before in my life.

I was thinking that maybe there could have been some official ceremony to mark the passage from the year of DaveFest to the year of SteveFest, but there was none. One dude took pictures though, so they might show up somewhere.

After a while the strangers left the island, so I moved there. I had another Marzen (75) and talked with various people for a while. This one chick said that a ceremonial beer stein might me a good thing to incorporate into future ceremonies.

Right after I ordered my third Marzen, some secret admirer arranged for a new beer to be delivered to me.

Monk's Cafe Flemish Sour Red (10)

(draft) Clear ruby-brown in color. A nice fluffy head. Sour cherries and apples in both the aroma and the flavor. Very comparable to Metreechs. Quite good.

I ended up only drinking the last half of the Marzen (85). I went over to Louisville to see this fashion show they were having for breast cancer awareness. By the time I got there, NotHideousGirl had already left. WeirdGirl wasn't working. So I hung out at Hard Rock and talked to CoolHairGirl and had several Diet Cokes.

Once the models started stomping along the runway (why do they have to stomp around like that?) I went out and watched them for a while. I tried to take pictures but none of the turned out worth shit. All of the models were, of course, quite hot. But I found myself thinking that maybe they should divert some of the proceeds from the event to buy the poor girls something to eat. It was cool though. First time I've gone to a fashion show, mostly because I'm straight.

Oh yeah, I texted HatGirl to let her know that Dragon's Milk is on at Rich O's. She replied that they might come in Saturday night. If so, yay!

I think that's about it.

I think that, to a lot of my friends, I'm quite handy. I'm a flashlight in the bottom of a cluttered kitchen drawer. Used briefly, and then put away and forgotten. Until the next time I'm needed. It's a lonely existence most of the time, but it's still nice to be useful.

---

I went and bought some bottles of Spezial Rauchbier today. I had two of them tonight (1504). It's pretty damn good. I want more.

---

Tomorrow is virtual Friday for me. Then it's a four-day weekend. What will I do during this four-day weekend? I'll wait and hope, of course. What else would I do?

---

Just about every day, when it's warm, I walk to The Pub for lunch. Google says it's seven-tenths of a mile. It seems longer than that.

---

In two and a half weeks I'll be in Las Vegas again. I should really start trying to get excited about the trip. I could certainly use the distraction.

---

HarpO wrote an entry yesterday which contained this sentence:

"Sometimes people do every thing to lead you on then if you make the effort to respond they pretend you acted without stimulus."

I'm think that this just might be the truest statement ever written. Also, HarpO and I are apparently living parallel lives.

---

I opened my present from yesterday, and it was exactly what I thought it was. It made me smile for about an hour.

---

Today I spent a lot of money on something that I'll probably never use.

---

I'm very confused about tonight's Lost finale. If the thing with Jack was supposed to be in the future, then why was his dad still alive?

---

There are two people, ostensibly among my best friends for my entire life, and I haven't seen one of them in seven months, and I haven't seen the other one in almost a year. This is not completely my fault.

---

I'm in a weird mood.

I think I like it best when I'm in a weird mood. Like tonight. It just seems that these are the times when I'm able to think the most clearly. About life's possibilities and shit like that.

I mean, when I'm sad, then all I can think about is whatever is making me sad. And, if I'm happy, I'm usually in shock, so I don't think much at all. I'm too busy smiling.

Tonight I watched an entire HDTV broadcast for the first time, despite the fact that I've had an HD-capable TV for three years. I bought a new antenna from Radio Shack a couple of months ago. Tonight, I hooked it up and watched Lost in high-def. Pretty cool, but I missed my Tivo's ability to fast-forward through the commercials.

I think that the Spring of 2004 was a pretty good time in my life. Sometimes I wish that I'd have been able to more fully appreciate it when it was happening. But then I remember that uncertainty principle thing. I remember that, if I'd fully seen and understood what was happening, what was about to happen, well then I'd almost certainly have changed it simply by knowing about it.

In the Spring of 2004, I was rapidly becoming a beer snob. I hung out at Rich O's with LaptopGirl, and I tried dozens and dozens of new beers. Some I liked, and some I didn't like. But all were possessed of the same potential right up until that moment when I took that first sip.

That's why I like being in a weird mood like I'm in right now. Because at times like this, life seems to have potential. I don't feel the need to fix anything, and I don't feel the urge to relish in anything, and I don't feel the urge to simply give up, or stand my ground, or fight for anything.

It's nice.

Hmmmm, Wednesday already. Seems like I haven't posted anything in days. And it's only been since late Monday. Or just a few hours, if you count the shaved pussies entry.

My cats Buddy and Happy seem to have taken their groomings in stride. But Nugget, my other cat, is catatonic. He doesn't recognize his friends at all, and he's done nothing but cower in the basement since yesterday. I feel bad, and he's going to feel really stupid when he figures out that he's been so freaked-out and it was Happy and Buddy all along.

Anyway, SassyGirl is back in town! Yay!

She called me yesterday after work, and so of course I went down to meet her and JauntyGirl at Rich O's. The reunion wasn't as poignant as the one in March had been, but why should it have been? It's only been a few weeks this time. Still, it's always very cool to see her.

Oh yeah, she told me that her parents have admitted to reading this journal. So, Hi, SassyGirl's parents! You raised one hell of a good daughter there. I hope you're proud.

Other than seeing SassyGirl, and having two of my cats shaved, not much going on around here. At least nothing much that I can think of at the moment.

Anybody watch Heroes Monday night? That Parkman guy turned into a real dick, didn't he?

I guess that's it for now.

Just two things about tonight's Lost episode.

1. That chick was hot.

2. Being buried alive would suck.

Just trying to get this out of the way so I can get some fucking sleep.

LaKisha: She was very wavery. Is that a word? It should be, because that's what she was. (65 points)

Chris S: A decent job, but he didn't sound like the Chris I'm used to hearing: (60 points)

Gina: Great song. Great performance. Take the title from LaKisha's wavery grasp and give it to Gina. Do it now! (100 points)

Sanjaya: I didn't listen because he sucks. I did, however, take off eighteen billion points for the stupid hairstyle. (negative 18,000,000,000 points)

Haley: Stupid song. Performance was way too timid. Nice voice, but I didn't care. Her hair looked great though. (70 points)

Phil: Wow, pretty damn good. I get the feeling that he's been singing this song for years. His best performance, by far. (90 points)

Melinda: Some song I never heard of. Fantastic job. She chose to sing this week instead of growl. Good choice. (95 points)

Blake: A good, but boring, performance. Very safe. The judges all want to fellate him. (70 points)

Jordin: Stupid song. Awkward performance. Yuck. (40 points)

Chris R: Great song. Performance was very good at times, and dreadfully flat at others, disappointing overall. (45 points)

I hate how I've been putting off my beer reports lately. I've been putting them off for so long that I never get around to writing them. And then if I do decide to write them, they end up being a gazillion lines long.

Like this one will probably be. Oh well, can't be helped. I need these things to keep track of my own comings and goings. Like I don't have a fucking clue what I did last Saturday night.

Let's see. Friday night I went to this stupid Mac's place again to listen to NotHideousGirl sing karaoke. I had a couple Newcastles (3944) and a couple Blue Moons (448). All were good, but they were about the only things good about the night. I couldn't hear NotHideousGirl sing at all. I don't know if it was her, or if it was the noise in the place, or if it was the karaoke sound system being messed-up. I could hear the other singers, the ones who sucked, just fine though. So it was probably that NotHideousGirl sang too softly.

Then the entire night started to take on a sour note because women are weird and often mean. Plus, WeirdGirl started drunk-dialing me. The calls started out angry and, over the course of about a half-dozen calls, ended up being sad. Since the situation at Mac's had been rapidly deteriorating for an hour or so anyway, I left there and went to talk to WeirdGirl. I think we're okay now. She'd been hearing rumors and making assumptions. I straightened her out. The truth didn't exactly make her happy, but it wasn't nearly as bad as what she'd been thinking.

Anyway.

Saturday evening my friend Eric called to see what I was doing. It was his birthday, and he figured he'd be out later. So that was cool. It promised to distract me from the panic attack I was having, wondering if MixedSignalGirl was going to call about her CD.

I left home at about 6:00, and went over to Louisville. I went to The Pub and had a Newcastle (3964) and some cold fries and nuclear-hot chicken tenders. The place was really packed, and I got claustrophobic, so I didn't stay. I stopped by Hard Rock and talked to CoolHairGirl for a few seconds, but that place was packed with kids, so I went to Rich O's at 8:00 or so.

I was in a pretty shitty mood until I got to Rich O's. My mood got a lot better when I saw that TeamHotness was sitting out front. They always make a big deal out of seeing me because I'm so awesome.

Rich O's proper was full of mostly strangers, but the throne was open so I sat there and ordered an Urthel Samaranth Quadrium (56). I love that beer. Tried to talk to some of the weird people around me, but I didn't really have any luck until this one hot girl came in and sat on the arm of the loveseat. Our proximity pretty much required that we talk, so we did. I'll call her BBCGirl. She's nice.

At about the time I started my third Quadrium (76) things started happening at a rapid pace. OddlyFamiliarGirl came in and I talked to her for a bit. I also, as promised, put in a good word for Roger to her. I think my exact words were, "Roger says to put in a good word for him if I see you so, Yay Roger!"

I made sure to raise my hands in the air to add emphasis.

OddlyFamiliarGirl confessed to reading my journal, so that was weird. Hi, OddlyFamiliarGirl!

Then TeamHotness came into Rich O's proper and crammed in next to me and, for half of the team, on top of me. I really like those two, and I wish they'd come in more often.

Then, surprise!

HatGirl!

Yay!

She was a little grouchy because of the crowd I guess, but grouchy HatGirl is still a zillion times better than no HatGirl. LuckyFucker was with her of course, and this time he seemed to be the one in a decent mood. Wonders never cease. We three stood in the middle of the room for a bit, but when a couple of strangers finally left the sofa we moved back to that area. Then TeamHotness came in again and reminded me that I'm awesome.

Then my friend Eric showed up, and I made everyone sing Happy Birthday to him. I don't think he cried, but I'm sure he thought it was a nice thing to do.

There were no more seats available in the living room area, so Eric and I went up and sat at the island. HatGirl joined us there, and we just talked about various fluff for the next hour or so. Once HatGirl and LuckyFucker left, WomanRepellant joined us for a while.

I ended up drinking the rest of HatGirl's Quadrium (82). I think it was too strong for her. But, Yay for free beer!

Eventually, WomanRepellant left. Everyone left actually. Eric and I stayed and talked until the bartender kicked us out. Then I went to White Castle and then came home.

When I got home, I was still excited that I'd got to see HatGirl, so that's what the previous entry was for. Just letting off some extra steam.

Haley: Wow. Nice legs. Nice tits. Nice ass. Nice Smile. I think she sang something. (70 points)

Chris R: I've always liked that song. Chris didn't mangle it too badly. (75 points)

Stephanie: Another great song. I thought she oversang it. Still good though. (71 points)

Blake: He sucks. I took off a million points for the beat box crap. (negative 999,970 points)

LaKisha: She picked the wrong song. I'm still a huge fan, but tonight she sucked. (35 points)

Phil: Stupid song. Bad karaoke performance. (55 points)

Jordin: Strange song, but she did great. I adore Jordin now. (95 points)

Sanjaya: I muted my TV because he sucks. They showed one audience girl who was crying because he was so bad. Then they made her hug him. She's probably killed herself by now. That's a shame.

Gina: Stupid song. Performance was frantic and chaotic. Not very good, dawg. (35 points)

Chris S: Good song. Perfect tone and control. I thought this was his best yet. (90 points)

Melinda: Some weird song nobody ever heard of before. She growled her way through it. I didn't like it much. (55 points)

All in all, a pretty pathetic night.

Okay, now we're down to the final twelve. This is usually the part where I start to lose interest. Some shitty singer will keep advancing week after week, and one or more of my favorites will be eliminated, and I'll stop watching.

This year, I expect that the shitty singer in question will be that Sanjaya fucker. I hope I'm wrong.

Anyway, this week they sang Diana Ross songs. Gee, do you think the producers might have some favorites in mind already? Maybe some black women? Time will tell.

Brandon: Nothing really terrible, but he's just so damn boring. Plus, how do you forget the words to a song that's been famous for forty years? (30 points)

Melinda: She always manages to make whatever song she sings seem like the perfect song for her. She's an incredible talent. (100 points)

Chris S: Great song. He seemed to be drifting in and out of tune a lot. I usually really like Chris, but not this week. I didn't hate it nearly as much as the judges did. (65 points)

Gina: I like her hair. I don't like her song choice. She kinda seemed like she was singing with a gun to her head. She's still better than most though. (80 points)

Sanjaya: I didn't listen because he sucks. Please get him off my TV. (0 points)

Haley: She looks beautiful, and she picked a great song. She sang well. She forgot some words, but I'm inclined to forgive her because I'm so nice. (80 points)

Phil: Started out really flat, but finished strong. I like Phil, but I fear that I've already heard his best performance, and it's not good enough. (75 points)

LaKisha: What a stupid song. She did the best she could with it, I suppose. She sang like she was under restraint or something. Zzzzzzzzz. The judges loved it, so I may be wrong. (40 points)

Blake: Please, get this fucker off my TV. (negative 215 points)

Stephanie: Good song. Performance was decent, but a little boring and predictable. (71 points)

Chris R: Sang through his nose. He sucks. (25 points)

Jordin: Stupid Disney song, but she nailed it. I took off three points for the stupid song choice, but otherwise perfect. I think I adore Jordin now. (97 points)

Okay, if Sanjaya and Blake aren't voted out this week, then the viewers are stupid.

Mindfreak is the show that the illusionist Criss Angel does. My Tivo records it all the time, and it's a good show. That guy is amazing.

Tonight I watched an episode where he was levitating people. He'd start out by hypnotizing them, asking them to imagine their perfect moment and relax into it. Then he'd levitate them. Like I said, the guy's amazing.

So of course I searched my memory to find my own perfect moment. It didn't take long before I found it. The most perfect moment out of a thousand similar moments.

There was a night, back in the Summer of 2004. Rich O's was packed with strangers and weirdoes, and I was sitting on the loveseat being miserable. Then she came in. She came through the door into Rich O's proper and she kinda frowned when she saw how crowded it was, but then she saw me and she smiled and then she sat with me.

When she smiled, that was my perfect moment.

As I once wrote, it most certainly was not a crush. And fuck anyone who tries to dismiss it as such.

Jordin: Boring but good. (70 points)

Sabrina: She gets prettier each week, and her singing is steady as a rock. She needs to keep working on her depth though. (75 points)

Antonella: Not very good. Bad, in fact. I will miss her because she seems sweet. (25 points)

Haley: Smoldering hot. Sang some song I never heard before. Good but not great. (75 points)

Stephanie: She's back! Yay! Just awesome. (90 points)

LaKisha: Seriously, just give her the the fucking title. I took off 10 points because I'm a little concerned that she can only sing huge songs. (90 points)

Gina: She's fucking awesome. She has horrible luck with that one background singer though. (95 points)

Melinda: I really like Melinda, but tonight she seemed a little too gospelly for my tastes. She's still great though. (85 points)

Blake: The stupidest performance I've ever seen in my life. I took off 50 points because he fooled me into liking him a couple of weeks ago. (negative 35 points)

Sanjaya: A good song for him, and a decent performance. No, really. And I'll try not to kill myself for admitting that he did a decent job. (65 points)

Sundance: I'm pretty sure that he was drunk. I'm positive that I wished I was. (10 points)

Chris R: A decent job with a country song. A little twangy at times. (50 points)

Jared: Look! It's the man with no soul! I thought it was funny when Paula advised him to "color-up" his performances. (0 points)

Brandon: This is some kind of sick joke, right? (negative 473 points)

Phil: Good song. Started out crappy, then got kinda sorta better, then finished crappy. (25 points)

Chris S: Sang some strange song, but I liked it, and I thought he did a great job. (80 points)

Before I get into my reviews of the girls this week, I should point out three things.

First, I will typically watch the performance, then write my thoughts. Then I'll listen to what the judges had to say. Randy I can always ignore because he's a racist asshole. Paula I can safely ignore because she's too damn nice, and she may be drunk. Simon, I usually end up agreeing with. Sometimes, if Simon and I really disagree, I'll write something about that fact. But usually not.

Secondly, I'm in a bad mood.

Thirdly, joining me for tonight's viewing was Brother Thelonious from the North Coast Brewery (50).

Gina: Very good. That one loud and out of tune background singer should be fucking shot though. I like Gina. (75 points)

Alaina: A good job, but this week her voice seemed very generic. There are lots of people on the radio who sound worse than her, but there are lots more who sound better than her. I gave her a million bonus points for being so hot. I thought the judges were way too harsh on her, and I'd like to hug her and pet her to make her feel better. (1,000,070 points)

LaKisha: She had her hair redone. It looks good. She looks her age now. She did an amazing performance of a great song. Give her the fucking title right now. (100 points)

Melinda: Stupid song, but an incredible performance. She finished particularly strong. No flaws. (100 points)

Antonella: She looks hot in a groovy dress. A good song, but her performance was wavering at times and flat at others. I adore Antonella, but not her singing. Now I'm in a bad mood. She seems so nice. I give her a half-million bonus points for not being stuck-up. (500,065 points)

Jordin: Disneyesque performance of a stupid song. Much better than last week though. (80 points)

Stephanie: Maybe it's all the fault of the horribly stupid song choice, but I thought this was a train wreck. (5 points)

Leslie: Adorable. Boring song. I took off 100 points for that stupid skat stuff. (negative 40 points)

Haley: Disconcertingly pretty. I really like her voice, and I thought she did a good job. (80 points)

Sabrina: She's managed to gain some depth to her voice in the past week. Wow. (85 points)

A pretty shitty night. I might not bother to watch the guys next week.

Phil: Pretty good. Safe and boring, but good. (75 points)

Jared: Wow. The perfect song for him. This is the kind of music he should be singing all the time. (85 points)

A.J.: Quite possibly the gayest A.I. performer since Clay Aiken. Not that there's anything wrong with that. As for his performance, I fell asleep. (50 points)

Sanjaya: I didn't listen because he sucks. I bet he spends a lot of time being shoved into lockers at school. (0 points)

Chris S: He missed a few notes singing a stupid song. I gave 15 bonus points because his wife is hot. (80 points)

Nick: I like his voice, but it really clashed with this song. I didn't care for this performance at all. (40 points)

Blake: A decent performance of a stupid song. I took off 50 points for the stupid hat, another 30 for the gangster wannabe hand gesture crap, and another 800 for the beat box bullshit. (-820 points)

Brandon: Incredibly out of tune. (10 points)

Chris R: The judges all want to suck his dick for some reason. I don't like him at all. Plus, it was a stupid song. (20 points)

Sundance: Stupid song, but he did a pretty good job with it. (70 points)

I sat down here a few minutes ago, thinking that I should probably do a weekend recap or some shit like that.

So here goes.

Saturday night I had a 1950s date with a nice girl I met Friday at lunch. After lunch actually. We did the 1950s dinner (Red Lobster) and a movie (Children of Men) thing. It was quite nice, and I think we actually like each other, but it's a bit too soon for me, and we both realized it at about the same time. I mean, I met her about two minutes after MixedSignalGirl ended our lunch date so abruptly.

Sunday I worked all damn day, then I took a five-hour nap.

Okay, that's my weekend recap. I never said it would be interesting.

Plus, I want to write about something else. Something that I started thinking and wondering about right after my nap.

Emotionally, I am about halfway shut down, I think. But realistically I should be much much worse. I want to be much worse.

I don't know if the events of the past couple of years have numbed me, or if maybe I just don't care about these new things as much as I'd have thought, or if maybe I'm still in denial.

I kinda hope it's only the denial thing.

Because I don't want to be numb. I paid too high a price to get my emotions back to have them come back neutered.

I don't want to be apathetic either.

I hope it's just denial, and I hope that someday soon reality will trample its way into my head and my heart and destroy me.

I don't want to be sort of sad. I want to be devastated and obliterated.

Weird, I know.

You know what? This subject is worthy of more creative ability than I can muster right now.

Maybe some other time.

I always like the girls nights, at least until all the hot girls have been eliminated. This year there's an abundance of hot girls, so I was really looking forward to tonight.

Joining me on tonight's viewing journey was a yummy bottle of Gulden Draak (271).

Stephanie: Born 60 years too late. A fantastic performance which I fear will be marginalized simply because it came first. (85 points)

Amy: Cute as fuck. She sang a little flat, and she mumbled a lot of words. (65 points)

Leslie: Also quite cute. Stupid song. She went flatline several times. (65 points)

Sabrina: Damn, another cute girl. No wonder I like girls night so much. Anyway, a technically perfect performance, but her voice has no depth. I don't know if she'll be able to overcome that handicap. (75 points)

Antonella: Smoldering hot. Singing was all over the map. Mostly all wet. I feel bad for her because she seems very nice and sweet. (60 points)

Jordin: Drunken karaoke at first, but the second half of the performance was much much better. I took off 10 points because she spells her name wrong. (65 points)

Nicole: A lovely girl. She jumped around between nasally and artificially low and screaming. I couldn't understand a word she sang. (50 points)

Haley: Adorable. I love her rich voice. Her performance was severely limited by her stupid song choice. I hope she gets a chance to pick a better song. (75 points)

Melinda: One of my favorites form the earlier shows. Still one of my favorites. Second-best of the night, I thought. (90 points)

Alaina: Fuckalicious. Fantastic voice, which she chose not to showcase by picking a Stevie Nicks song. I hope she stays, because I adore her. I gave her 10 bonus points because she's carrying my child. (75 points)

Gina: Cute as fuck. My absolute favorite from the earlier shows, and my absolute favorite after tonight. Fantastic song choice, fantastic performance. (95 points)

LaKisha: She's weird. She looks like she's 50-years-old until she sings, then she drops 30 years. She sang a huge song, and it wasn't even close to being big enough for her voice. This girl can fucking sing. (85 points)

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm an American Idol watcher. I've been hooked, more or less, since the first season. When I realized that I loved Kelly Clarkson.

For the last couple of years I haven't been as big of a fan. I usually stop watching the guys after a couple of weeks. I'll keep watching the girls, but eventually my favorites get eliminated and I stop watching altogether. Until the next season.

Like this season. I'll watch it for a while, and I'll make entries like this one for a while. but it will all stop eventually.

So don't get hooked on my reviews. Please. That's too much pressure for me.

Anyway, tonight the guys sang. This is always boring to me, probably because I don't have a vagina. But I watched, and I wrote down my impressions. I had a yummy Koningshoeven Quad (346) while I watched.

Rudy: Sang a Six Flags version of a Six Flags song. I know this guy can sing, but he chose to coast through tonight. He's a lot better than this. (80 points)

Brandon: I fell asleep he was so boring. I'm giving him 50 points because it's my birthday.

Sundance: Stupid name, but probably not his fault. Great song. He seemed a little unsure about what to do with his arms. He sang great though. (85 points)

Paul: His tone was way too low for this arrangement. The volume of his voice was also too low. (70 points)

Chris R: Drunken karaoke. Awful. (40 points)

Nick: I really like this guy's voice. I thought he did a great job. (87 points)

Blake: Great song. Started out great. Finished great. This guy really surprised me. A lot. (90 points)

Sanjaya: I fell asleep, and I only woke up when he mangled a note. Horrible. (20 points)

Chris S: I expected to really like this guy, and I was a little disappointed. Put him in front of a club band, and he'll shine. As a solo artist, not so much. (75 points)

Jared: Nice job. Forgettable, but nice. (80 points)

A.J.: There seems to be a rule that anyone named A.J. or AJ that goes on this show must suck. I shot pool until this guy was done. He gets 50 points only because it's my birthday.

Phil: My favorite guy from the earlier shows. He started out like his nuts were in a vise. Then he spent the next part overcompensating. He finished quite strong though. (75 points)

Today I watched a stupid movie called The Family Stone.

To successfully enjoy this movie, you'd have to do two things. First, you'd have to pretend that the characters aren't all whores and/or selfish pricks. Second, you'd have to pretend that Sarah Jessica Parker is about a gazillion times prettier than she really is.

I failed at both tasks.

For me, the only redeeming qualities about the movie were (a) that Rachel McAdams was in it, and (b) this one part where this one whore told a story about a guy that built a totem pole.

I didn't catch the first part of the totem pole story, but I got the impression that there was a guy who was sad. I think the words used to describe him were that there was a hole in his heart.

Or some drivel like that anyway.

So, to cheer him up, the town gave him a log. Not a big party. Not money. A big ass log.

But it was okay.

The guy spent like eight years carving that log into a totem pole. And I guess there was a big ceremony when the thing was raised. And it was beautiful. The town got a fancy new totem pole, and the guy got to fill that hole in his heart with something.

I thought it was a sweet story.

And now I want a log, so I can make a totem pole, so I can fill this fucking hole in my heart.

And I want the log for my birthday, which is in two days.

I fully expect to shut down in two days. If I do, then you people might not hear very much from me for a while. If I don't, well if I don't then I was wrong. About a lot of things. And I'll be okay. And I'll never mention this shutting down nonsense again.

Please stop sucking dead donkey dicks.

Thank you,

Dave

...on Lost! are real dicks.

Except for this chick. I have a massive crush on her:

Probably in part because she used to be this girl on Malcolm in the Middle and she's the one that started the whole perverted brunettes with glasses thing for me.

If only there'd been a dorky girl like that when I was in school.

You can find ghosts in the most obscure places.

Especially when you're looking for them.

Last night was, as I wrote yesterday, the occasion of the thing in the place with the people. It was supposed to be a surprise, so I didn't say anything more than that. Well the surprise is over so I have free reign I suppose.

The thing was a comedy show, the place was The Comedy Caravan in Louisville, and the people were my friend Eric, his wife Teri, my sister Dina, her husband Kenny, Eric's brother Todd and his wife, and some people I don't really know - except that one of them may be Dina's only hot friend. The whole deal was because it's Teri's birthday today. Happy Birthday!

I'm pretty sure that it's also my grandmother's birthday today. Happy Birthday!

The show didn't start until 8:00, and I got there early, so I walked across the street to a little bar. A little haunted bar as it turned out. I hadn't recognized the place, but I'd been there before, back near the beginning of the end. Back when I broke through the clouds and caught a glimpse of just how far up I was. How far I had to fall.

Anyway, I had myself a yummy Newcastle (2506) and did a bit of catching up with the ghost of my own innocence. Then I went back across the street to the comedy place. Dina and Kenny were already waiting, and everyone else showed up shortly afterwards.

I hadn't been to the Comedy Caravan since this night, even nearer to the end. I don't suppose things have changed very much. Some of the people were funny, and some of them weren't. I think the highlight of my time there was when I went out to the lobby to have a smoke and got to talk to Dina's hot friend for a while. Talking to pretty women always lifts my spirits. For a while at least.

Oh yeah, I had two bottles of BBC Alt (282) which were a little skunked. It was also very strange to be drinking straight out of the bottle.

After the show was over, I went over to Cumberland Brewing with Eric and Todd and their wives. I had myself a yummy Cumberland Nitro Porter (180) and we all just sat around and talked for a bit. Eric told me a very funny story about his dad, but I won't relay it here because you'd really have to know Paul to see how funny it was.

After my friend left, I moved up to the bar and had another Nitro Porter (200) and thought about the times I'd gone to that place with MixedSignalGirl and SassyGirl.

Speaking of SassyGirl, nobody has had any word from her and JauntyGirl since they left. So that sucks.

After I left Cumberland, I stopped by Rich O's for a second, then I went to White Castle and came home and watched the new X-Men movie.

Avery The Reverend: 22
Delirium Tremens: 14
Me: 0

Reese Witherspoon is hot.

Not all the time.

Like I didn't think she was that great in Cruel Intentions. Sarah Michelle Gellar was about a zillion times hotter than Reese Witherspoon in that movie.

But Reese is still hot sometimes.

Like in Sweet Home Alabama.

On Monday morning they must have declared some kind of ice shortage or something, because the ice machine, located conveniently across the hall from my room, was in constant use from about 6:10 in the morning until I left at around 9:00.

What I'd decided was that I'd go and try to find a Best Buy or something so I could buy a new power adapter for my laptop.

And that's just what I did. It took a long time to find a Best Buy though.

When I got back to my room, it hadn't been touched. Big surprise.

Monday afternoon, after I'd done a little writing, I walked down to this Cleveland ChopHouse and Brewery place that the cabbie from Sunday night had recommended.

With my very yummy sirloin and my kinda rubbery shrimp, I had a couple of beers:

Cleveland ChopHouse Stout (16)

(draft) Black with cream-colored head and incredible lacing. Flavor slanted a bit more towards coffee than chocolate. A decent beer.

(draft) Wow! Unexpectedly good. Extremely well-balanced and very refreshing. It also tasted like it had a higher ABV than it really does.

It was a pretty good game. Indians vs. Yankees. I heard from somebody that it was the first time this season that Jacobs Field had been sold out. I believe this is because the Indians suck this year, but I'm really not sure.

Also, and maybe it was just the area where I was seated, but there seemed to be more Yankee fans than Indians fans at the game. That's kinda sad, I think.

As is my custom, I bought a cap and rooted for the home team.

The Indians actually won. I gathered that this was a surprise to everyone, especially the Indians.

After the game was over they had fireworks, but I wanted to beat the crowd so I high-tailed it down to the Winking Lizard and grabbed a seat at the bar. I had myself an Edmund Fitzgerald (144) and then I realized, quite suddenly, that I'd be leaving Cleveland in the morning. I decided that, no matter how yummy the Great Lakes porter was, I just had to try something else.

They have a pretty impressive beer menu. You can actually see it here if you want to play along at home.

The first choice was a no-brainer. I'd loved the Harpoon Winter Warmer so much, when I'd had it in Portland, that I just had to try their Hefeweizen.

Looking at the bottle, I should have known that something was wrong:

Look a little closer:

That's a fucking citrus wedge, right there on the bottle!

Well I told the bartender that I didn't want the damn fruit wedge, bottle artwork notwithstanding. I used my standard "I'm straight" line as an excuse.

Harpoon UFO Hefeweizen (12)

(bottle) Despite the name Hefeweizen, this is an American wheat beer. Despite that, I liked it anyway. There was none of the hop bitterness that I usually associate with this style. The thing tasted like a Belgian wheat, and it tasted good.

Unibroue Blanche de Chambly (12)

(bottle) Although supposedly a Belgian wheat, this had much of the aroma and flavor of a German wheat. If I had to put a label on it, I'd say that is was a blend of those two excellent styles. A very good beer from what is becoming one of my favorite breweries.

Then I walked back to my hotel.

The fucking bitch maid had not visited my room all fucking day.

After I tried to write some entries, I went to sleep, then I got up and made sure that the manager knew how lazy the maid was, then I drove home.

Yay!

I don't know what was going on at Rich O's last night. But I didn't like it very much. And I'm glad I didn't have to stay.

I arrived at about 9:00. I parked in Northern Alberta and hiked in. The new front area For Special People Only was crammed with Special People. The loser area was crammed with losers, the regular front area was crammed with strangers. Rich O's proper was crammed with strangers and, I immediately suspected, woohoos.

I spent about 10 minutes wondering if (a) a bartender would ever notice me, and (b) if I'd have time for a beer before it was time to leave, and (c) where the fuck all these people had come from.

I ended up leaving and going over to this Main Menu place early.

The Main Menu is an oddity to me. I don't know why. I guess partly because it's so close to Rich O's and Jack's but nobody from Rich O's ever goes there, unless we know people in a band that's playing there. Like last night, MusicalHippyDude's band OTTO was playing at 10:00.

The band was getting set up, and I talked with MusicalHippyDude briefly. GlassesGirl was there too, but the other people at the groupie table I didn't know.

So I sat at the bar next to an improbably hot girl and I ordered a Newcastle (1900). There was something wrong with it - like it had been in the keg for 10 years or something. I did manage to finish it though.

I also had the very cute bartender take a glass out of the freezer for me so that my next beer wouldn't have to suffer being poured into a chilled glass.

Speaking of next beers, my next three were all Blue Moons (258). I like Blue Moon. I especially like it when I remember to ask the bartender to leave the fruit out of it, as I did for the second and third glasses. For the first glass I forgot, but I fished the offending citrus wedge out before it completely ruined the taste.

I spent some time talking to ImprobablyHotGirl and her friend while the band continued to get ready. A few more Rich O's people came straggling in, and they kept bugging me to go join them at the groupie table.

See previous entry.

Once the band started I moved over to a table with PhotoDude and bobbed my head to the beat and stuff.

The band is good. They play all original stuff though, and this means that there weren't any people dancing.

I have the same problem with all live bands, and OTTO is no exception. The music is too damned loud, and it completely drowns out the singing. I'm sure that the lyrics were great and all that, but you just can't hear them. I'd like to see every band in the world cut the instrument volume in half and leave the vocal volume as is. But, last time I checked, I was not in charge of every band in the world, so I'm not exactly holding my breath waiting for this to happen.

When the band got down to just a couple of songs left, I drove the short distance back to Rich O's.

The vast majority of the strangers and the losers and the Special People had all left.

Yay!

I sat on the sofa (the throne was occupado) and ordered a half-glass of Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier Dunkel (75), on tap for the first time in over a year I think.

I'd just gotten settled in, and DooRagGirl came in.

Yay!

I gave her some shit for being such a stranger lately and then we just talked about various crap with the three strangers sitting in the living room area with us. Once the strangers left I moved to the throne.

At one point, DooRagGirl asked me how I was doing and I said that I was "about the same." So she said something like, "Oh, pretty bad then."

This was a bit of a shock to me because I realized that I'm not "pretty bad" anymore. Since this wall went up I'm actually doing pretty well. Better than I should be doing certainly.

Once DooRagGirl left I drove back down to The Main Menu, but ImprobablyHotGirl wasn't there anymore, so I came home.

I forgot about this until just now.

My friend MusicalHippieDude's band is going to be featured on our local Fox in the Morning TV show later this Summer.

That's pretty damn cool.

They'll also be playing at a bar close to Rich O's this weekend, so I'm sure I'll be there nodding my head to the beat like the lameass that I am.

If you watch Lost and if you've watched this week's episode, then I wonder if you're as freaked out as I am right now.

After I left Morgan Street, it was time to hit the Cardinal's new park for the game.

It was fun. I always like going to games. Of course the Cards lost, but I guess technically I'm supposed to be more of a Reds fan anyway. I didn't tell anyone that though. I even bought a Cardinals cap.

Anyway, I took some pictures.

The new park is a pretty confusing place. Parts of it are like a maze. I think it might be my least favorite of the new parks I've been to as far as getting around goes, but it's got a lot more character than the new parks in Cincinnati or Chicago, so I like it.

I didn't even watch the guys last week. Mostly because they're guys and therefore largely irrelevant to me, but also because I was busy.

Anyway, I did watch the girls sing tonight, and here's what I thought.

3/7 (Girls)

Paris: She sang a stupid song. She's awesome though. Maybe a little too sweet. (75 points)

Lisa: Some song I never heard before. Good, I guess, but I really think she can do better. (80 points)

Melissa: Hot. I love her voice this week. She also picked a perfect song for her voice. (85 points)

Kinnik: She sucks, so I fast-forwarded through her performance.

Katharine: She seemed a little full of herself this week, and she sang a stupid song. I gave her 10 bonus points for having nice tits that I somehow failed to notice before tonight. (80 points)

Ayla: Wow. I can totally imagine hearing that performance on the radio. Damn good. (85 points)

Mandissa: I fast-forwarded through her performance because I don't like her.

Kellie: Still smoldering hot. Just an average performance but I don't care because I love her so much. (75 points)

After I wrote down my notes I went back and listened to the judges comments. For the most part, the judges are wrong.

I hope.

I keep saying this. I'll say it again. Mandisa and Kinnik need to get the fuck off my TV.

For the most part, this was a boring and safe week for the girls. I think that reality may have set in after seeing two girls get sent home last week.

2/28 (Girls)

Katharine: She sang some song I never heard before and sang the fuck out of it. Wow. Maybe a little too safe? (85 points)

Kinnik: I don't like her. Nope, I don't like her at all. (0 points)

Lisa: Another song I never heard before. She sang a little too quietly - the music and the background vocals drowned her out a little. What I could hear was great though. (80 points)

Melissa: Hot. The song choice was stupid, and the performance was painful to listen to. (50 points)

Heather: Looked hot. This week, her voice matched her face. A flawless but safe performance. (80 points)

Brenna: She kept forgetting what key she was supposed to be singing in. Some keys were good, but most weren't. (45 points)

Paris: She started with this artificially low voice that I don't like, then she kept reverting back to it for random syllables. I can't believe I didn't like her tonight. (65 points)

Ayla: She's got that Disney vibe again. A little shaky in parts. (70 points)

Kellie: Still smoldering hot, but the performance seemed shaky and/or uninspired. I gave 5 bonus points for being so damn cute. (75 points)

Mandisa: She started out a quarter-note behind the music, but once she caught up she did pretty well. A perfect song for her. (80 points)

Even though Mandisa did much better this week, I still stand by the elimination choices I made last week. I think that Mandisa and Kinnik need to get off my TV.

Every season, for the past couple at least, I do this. Usually, after a few weeks, I get sick of the voters being so stupid and I stop watching. There'll never be another Kelly anyway.

Anyway, since I don't plan to sleep until probably Sunday, I went ahead and watched the Tuesday and Wednesday performances.

These are the notes I took while watching. I take these notes before listening to the judges comments. The scores I assign are completely arbitrary.

2/21 (Girls)

Mandisa: Stupid name. A blah, boring performance except when she missed notes, then she sucked. (60 points)

Kellie: Smoldering hot. She lost track of what key she was singing in a few times. I really like her voice though. (70 points)

Becky: Yummy. She mumbled her way through the song, and she seemed to use at least three different singing voices, and she missed some notes. I still liked her though, and I don't think it's only because she's so cute. (70 points)

Ayla: I thought she did a very good job, but I couldn't shake the Disney soundtrack vibe I got from her performance. (80 points)

Paris: She's just an adorable little thing, and a wonderful talent. She doesn't need this show. (95 points)

Stevie: Hot, and she knows it. She says the word opera too often. She seems a little full of herself. I like her voice - it's nice and pure. Pretty good. (75 points)

Brenna: Quite cute. I hate the song she sang, and her singing didn't make up for it. Not at all. She's funny and charming though. (60 points)

Heather: Quite hot. Weird, her voice doesn't match her appearance. Beyond that, nothing remarkable. (65 points)

Melissa: Wow, another hot girl. I love her speaking voice, and she carried that into her singing. She did mumble a lot though. I like her. (75 points)

Lisa: One of my favorites all along. She's another Tamyra Gray. Wow. (85 points)

Kinnik: Stupid name, stupid song choice, boring performance. (65 points)

Katharine: Hot. She looked like she was having a seizure while singing. She sang the shit out of the song though. (85 points)

If I were America, I'd eliminate Mandisa and Kinnik this week. Unfortunately for me, I'm not America, so I expect one or both of them to stay in while someone more deserving gets eliminated. Probably Heather and Ayla if I had to guess.

And, for the more important question - if all of the hot girls came to me and offered themselves to me sexually, and I had to pick just one, who would it be?

Kellie, without a doubt. She's marryin' material.

2/22 (Guys)

The guys are never as good as the girls on this show, and I don't think this season will prove me wrong.

Patrick: Great song. It's tough going first I bet. Good but not great performance. (70 points)

David: Cool name. A one-trick pony. This asshole will probably stay week after week while more talented singers get eliminated. I hate him already.

Bucky: Bucky? Are you fucking kidding me with that name? Great song, and he sang it very well. He's got a very unique voice. (80 points)

Will: Stupid song. This guy is probably good in his high school plays. (65 points)

Jose: The falsetto was a surprise, and not a particularly good one for me. This guy can do better than this. (70 points)

Chris: He looks familiar to me. He's one of my favorites. He sang a great song, and had a great but forgettable performance. He could go a long way in this competition. (85 points)

Kevin: The question with this guy is - Does he sing well enough to make up for being such a nerd? And the answer is no. A good song choice and a good performance. (75 points)

Gedeon: He spells his own name wrong, and he talks like a preacher. He sang well though. This was the first time I've liked him. (80 points)

Elliott: He seemed very nervous, and he picked a shitty song. A boring and forgettable performance. I do like his voice though. (65 points)

Bobby: Stupid song. This guy should be singing at weddings, not on my TV, and certainly not on my radio. (60 points)

Ace: Probably a finalist because the chicks like him. It helps that he sings very well. Second best of the night. (86 points)

Taylor: Great song. This guy is a great singer, even if he does seems a little cheesy at times. Best of the night, but just barely. (87 points)

The problem with making predictions for the guys is that it's all teenage girls doing the voting. I'd like to see David and Kevin go home, but because teenage girls are, well, teenage girls, I expect it to be somebody with more talent that leaves. Maybe Bobby and/or Gedeon.