posted by dave on Friday, August 6, 2004 at 12:06 AM in category daily

This is the tale of two people who happen to inhabit the same body.

The other day I was driving to the doctor to get my dog bite looked at. Sharing the bridge with me and several other vehicles was DrunkOrStonedAsshole in a little black Neon. This guy was driving at about 30 MPH and was weaving across all three lanes, nearly causing a half-dozen accidents. Once I finally got in front of this jerk I felt safe enough that I called 9-1-1 and reported his ass to the police. I gave his license number, vehicle description, and a basic description of the driver. I told the police that he'd taken the first New Albany exit and just when I told them that, the guy sideswiped another car and just kept going. I hope they caught the guy before someone got seriously hurt.

So that was GoodCitizenDave, defender of the roads. I felt pretty good about my little bit of crimefighting, and I made sure to tell VigilanteGirl that she'd inspired me with her earlier adventure.

Now fast-forward to Thursday, and I'm sitting at a red light.

For 10 minutes.

With no cross-traffic in sight.

The light was obviously broken, but I still tried the old backing up/pulling forward trick several times trying to get the light to notice my truck and change to green.

It didn't work, so I ran the thing.

Of course I made quite sure that it was safe to proceed, but for the rest of the way to work I couldn't help but look in my rearview mirror every three seconds for the flashing lights that knew were inevitable.

The lights never appeared. I seem to have gotten away with my little crime spree, but I'm sure that VigilanteGirl would kick me out of the SuperFriends if she got word of my alter-ego, CommonCriminalDave.

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