posted by dave on Sunday, April 3, 2005 at 9:21 AM in category ramblings

There have certainly been worse things said to me over the years, but I'll be damned if I can think of one right now.

Usually these things come in the heat of the moment. During an argument or a disagreement. They can, and should, be taken with a grain of salt. The context can lessen the sting.

But sometimes, sometimes you never see it coming. Sometimes there's no malice, no anger. Sometimes there are no extenuating circumstances to lessen the blow.

I paraphrase here:

Sorry, I didn't know I had to broadcast it to everyone.


With that single statement, that single pseudo-apology, everything that I've been through, every feeling I've fought, every torment I've endured, it was all dismissed as irrelevant.

No, not irrelevant. Not even insignificant. Like it never even happened. Not erased, but never even written.

Well, fuck that.

No malice. No anger. Just a simple innocent statement that showed me my place, and stung me more than pity or mockery or even animosity ever could have.

All of the times my mind has run rampant, all of the times I lay awake all night as scenario after scenario careened through my head, this was one I never saw coming. This I never even considered.

I'll say it again.


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